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Published:
2025-07-07
Updated:
2025-12-05
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3,049
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7/?
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PLEASE let this be a normal field trip (group chat)

Chapter 7: The chemicals…in the water…they’re making the friggin bats gay

Summary:

Very tired apologies sorry filler chapter but this is sponsored by timkon yea

Notes:

Sorry I was busy w/ school and tech week for play (it was pride and prejudice I deadass only auditioned bc of Jason Todd. That was my fucking thought process)

Anyways yea I’m exhausted and the Star Wars obsession is back full force so yeah

This concludes my Ted talk enjoy or I WILL cry that’s a threat

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You: you all seem gay

 

Metropolis (derogatory): you called?

 

Auntie D: aren’t you gay?

 

You: if I have enough drinks sure my whole fucking family is bisexual most of us just don’t know it yet

 

Auntie D: ohhh like b and superman

 

Metropolis (derogatory): HI WHAT

 

Doc how long do we have: HELLO??

 

Britishman Beantoast: for the record I knew

 

You: how the fuck

 

You: sorry how the bloody ‘ell ma’e did YOU know?

 

Britishman Beantoast: little red riding hood over here saying you like it’s a slur lmao

 

You: this is because it is

 

Arataz Annataz: based

 

Arataz Annataz: (I told him)

 

Britishman Beantoast: oh we tried that didn’t we

 

You: NO MY EYES

 

Metropolis (derogatory): NO EW EW EW

 

Demonspawn (lovingly): i wake up to THIS

 

Arataz Annataz: teehee :3

 

Auntie D: ok. executive decision back on topic yes we’re all gay continue

 

You: well I’ve got a mini-b and a shien superman and they make me throw up when they look of love

 

You: and they’re like pining and shit

 

You: and it’s so FUCKING obvious

 

You: and it’s like ok I meant slowburn like pride and prejudice not slowburn like this agonizing bullshit

 

Britishman Beantoast: you mean to tell me that YOU read Jane Austen

 

You: “little red riding hood over here saying you like it’s a slur lmao”

 

Britishman Beantoast: wanker

 

Metropolis (derogatory): Constantine you’re not the only disaster bisexual in the world it’s the sleep-deprived one’s turn

 

You: I’d say how did you know but it’s not much of a guess is it

 

Metropolis (derogatory): saw that sad bitch ONCE for five seconds and I knew

 

You: alright anyways I need ideas other than lock the super strong telekinesis himbo and the paranoid genius in a closet

 

Doc how long do we have: what’s going on?

 

Doc how long do we have: wow this is so magical of us

 

You: magic is gay dr, magic is gay

 

You: now reverse that and you get…?

 

Arataz Annataz: gay is magic

 

You: mmmm logic yes

Notes:

comments. please. yay

Notes:

ehhh not my best work but yknow what. im tired. let me eat my lunch. i promise next chapter WILL be better

right so i know that jason prolly died before phones got all silly, but here me out: HE DIES BEFORE COVID AND COMES BACK WHEN THE QUARANTINE IS OVER FOR MAXIMUM CONFUSION

also idk i guess he just latches on more to ducra and essence than in canon. found family is very easy to find. harder to keep but oh well
thinking of maybe having ducra function like a force ghost lmao
she reminds me a lot of yoda
so theres like a page in new 52 rhato where jaybird introduces essence basically as "this was my first kiss, we also tried to kill each other at some point, but we're chill now and we'd lowkey die for each other besties for the resties"

yippee

i have a VERY romanticized idea of group chats lmao. i love them. they literally give me life. and the math homework answers but thats a bit less important now that it's summer. they are magical. lets put actual magical in the magical and get extra magical

fun fact of the post: its better to poop in the sink than to sink in the poop

everyone have a good day!! no one get hurt and stuff!!! SURPRISE BAPTISM (dahlia is EVERYTHING lmao)

and PLEASE COMMENT IM ATTENTION STARVES AF LVOE YALL BYE