Chapter Text
“TODAY’S ADVENTURE IS….” Jax winced. “THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING BANDITS!”
Caine clapped, and huge block letters popped in front of them, knocking Ragatha over. ‘DISAPPEARING’ kept, well, disappearing.
“Oops! Sorry, Ragatha!” Caine snapped, and the letters disappeared.
“Don’t worry!” Ragatha said, brushing her dress off. “I’m just fine.”
“Okay, your job is to stop the bandits from robbing the train! “ Caine pointed to Bubble, who balanced a stick-figure picture of angry men standing by a train.
“But there’s a twist!”
“Like usual,” Jax said. “Do the bandits have guns?”
Caine ignored him. “The bandits can disappear.”
“What does that mean?” Gangle asked, ribbons twisting into each other. “Like, they’re just going to…go away?”
“It doesn’t matterrrr,” Jax said, swinging his arms. “C’mon, lets get this over with.”
“Jax, you and I should search the train cars together!” Ragatha piped up. “We can, um…kill the bandits? Before anyone else gets to them?”
Jax’s eyes darted around the room. Kaufmo was mumbling to a cross-eyed Kinger. Gangle was looking off to where Zooble had disappeared.
“Oookay,” he said. “Sure!”
Ragatha grinned and gave him an awkward thumbs up.
“Welp, if we’re killing bandits, let's kill bandits!” He strode off towards the portal Caine was framing with his arms, rubbing his hands together. “This’ll be good.”
The train was old-timey, with an honest-to-goodness coal stack and wallpaper that looked like it could be someone’s great-grandma’s. Honestly, it probably was somebody’s great grandma’s. Jax yanked open the door to a compartment. No guns, and no NPCs.
“Jax, look!” Ragatha called. He peered around the door frame. “This nice man has information on the bandits.”
It was just a blank NPC with a cowboy hat.
“Hell-” he said, and blinked away.
“You sure he’s not the bandit, Raggy?”
“Um-was he?”
Jax waved a hand. “I don’t care. Did he have anything good?”
“No, just, told me the bandits would be here soon.”
“Borrring!” Jax strolled down the first train car, Ragatha following awkwardly behind. He looked through a window. “Oh, there’s Kaufie and Kinger. Don’t look in there,” he warned. “That much crazy would get anyone infected.” Ragatha didn’t say anything.
“Hey, um, Jax? Remember when we had that adventure, with the cannonballs, and you blew my stuffing to pieces? Wow, what a day!”
“Didn’t think you liked that,” Jax remarked, stepping into a compartment with a nice view out the window.
“Oh, uh. Not really.” Ragatha seemed nervous. She definitely wanted something.
“Jax…” Ragatha reached out. Jax moved his arm. “Are you okay?”
“Just dandy, Dollface,” Jax leered. He leaned out of the train window, letting the wind blow his ears back. It roared, filling him with the sound of wind.
Ragatha was saying something. Jax ignored it. It was about time they progressed the plot of this adventure.
“Do you see the bandits?” he asked the audience. There was no camera this time; considering that the audience were readers and not viewers, but Jax started off to the side just to annoy Ragatha.
“JAX!” Ragatha yelled, pulling him back inside the train.
“Not now, Raggy,” he said flippinantly. “The bandits are here, and I want shotgun.”
“Stop it, Jax!” Ragtha said brusquely. Her plush hand was tight around his wrist. “Stop deflecting! Talk to me!” She turned her head, gesturing with her other hand. “I–I…might have assumed too much. Back at the cabin. I’m sorry, Jax. Could you please…just tell me your side of the story?”
“Bringing up the old days, huh?” Jax said. He leaned in close. “God, you’re annoying. This is why nobody likes you.”
Ragatha jerked back, finally letting go of his wrist.
“That’s not true.”
Jax rolled his eyes, standing up. “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. Zooble likes the crybaby better. Ever wonder why?”
Ragatha looked away, drawing her arms close to herself.
“No, that’s not true. I’m nice. People don’t not like people who are nice.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” Jax reached behind the train seat and produced an old-timey shotgun. He whistled. “Ooh, this baby’s pretty.” He gave it a couple of test shots, the bullets blowing holes through the red wallpaper and some expensive-looking windows. The gun was shoved away, Ragatha’s face replacing the barrel.
“Why are you so mean? Why don’t you care? Ribbit was your friend. I don’t understand. I know there’s something else going on. Just…talk to me Jax. You know you can, right?” Her face was flush and tight around her eyes. Jax just had to keep pressing the right buttons and she’d drop this.
“They were never my friend.” Jax scoffed. “I don’t have friends. You should try it sometime! It makes life easier.” He knocked Ragatha’s head with the barrel to peer through the scope.
“Ribbit should have been friends with me, instead.” Ragatha’s voice was bitter. “They wouldn’t have abstracted if she was friends with someone who treated her with actual kindness.”
Jax’s shoulder blades compressed. He swung the barrel around, shooting out the window. Someone screamed. He turned his grin on Ragatha.
“You don’t know anything. Ribbit started it, not me. How was I supposed–” Jax stopped talking. Ragatha was looking at him with wide eyes. Curious. Pitying. He’d said too much. God, why’d he always do that? “Like I said. You’re a fake, Dollface. Just stop trying and make life easier for yourself!”
“I’m fake?” Ragatha asked. “Me? What about you? You didn’t even show up to her funeral! You–you treat Kaufmo like s[%$!#]t!” She’s shaking, the curve of her shoulders taut.
Jax's grin didn’t falter, but it felt more wild. Out of bounds, like when you get high for the first time. Like you’re just a scared kid who wants to stop feeling.
“It’s ‘cause I don’t care. Try and remember that, Dollface.” Jax tapped the side of his head. With that, he hauled himself out of the shattered window and onto the top of the train roof. It was surprisingly easy to stay balanced on the moving train, though whether that was due to the game’s physics or real physics, Jax didn’t know, and he didn’t care to find out.
He pulled his bandanna over his face and bounded to the engine car.
It would definitely be a plot twist for him to play the bandit, and much more fun.
“And then I strolled out of the portal, pockets full of loot, and death on the other end of my gun.” Jax recounted. Zooble scoffed.
“You are so dramatic. I’m glad I wasn’t there for that.”
“Ey, it was a good adventure!” Jax twisted his head around. “Right, Gangle?” Gangle shied away from him. It had been one of her earlier adventures, and possibly her first introduction to cartoon physics; aka the violent death of NPCs at Jax’s hands.
“Not really,” Gangle said quietly. “I think it would have been better if Zooble was there.”
Jax rolled his eyes. Fat chance of that happening. Even now, Zooble was looking off to the side, twisting one of their fingers into a pretzel.
“Oh, be nice,” Ragatha jumped in before Jax could say anything. Jax wanted to roll his eyes even harder. “We’re all friends, right?”
“Oh, no.” Jax twirled a key he’d pulled from his pocket. “I don’t have friends.”
“You could!” Ragatha tried pointing out. It was useless. After the first time she’d tried talking to him, Jax had become even more of an expert at avoidance. Ragatha was looking at him. She wouldn’t stop looking at him. Jax didn’t drop his grin, but he pretended it was a scowl as he scanned the room. Kinger was poking his head out of his pillow fort, looking after someone.
Jax squinted. Was that…
“Jax,” Kaufmo whispered, crooking a finger towards him. The clown was peeking around a corner, pretending to be sneaky or something. Well, he wasn’t.
“What do you want, Kaufmo,” Jax droned, putting emphasis on the name. Kaufmo drew back and frantically put a finger to his lips. Jax rolled his eyes heaven-high and walked over to Kaufmo’s hiding spot. Behind him, Ragatha talked quietly to the others.
“Whaddya want?” he asked.
Kaufmo drew up, but not to his full height. “I need to show you something.” His long fingers drummed over his shorts, tugged at his buttons.
Jax raised his eyebrows. “You want to show me something.” Kaufmo nodded absently. Well. Jax might as well see what the geezer was on about. It’s not like he had anything else to do, and he had to avoid Ragatha, anyway.
Jax started walking. “Well? You coming?”
Kaufmo scurried after him. “Make a right.” Jax planted one foot and swung dramatically to the right. It felt strange to be the two of them again. They were always Jax and Kaufmo and Ribbit, and taking away one left two pieces that didn’t fit together.
The silence as they walked was testament to that. Between them, their little group used to be the loudest , the most vocal. Now the only sound was the plop of Jax’s paws and Kaufmo’s heavy breathing.
“There,” Kaufmo said, stopping suddenly. “Do you see it?”
Jax peered around. The area was as normal as the circus could be. Some interesting doors that Jax noted to visit later, some eerie art of Caine, etcetera, etcetera.
“I see a whole lot of delusions,” Jax said. “Oh, wait! No, I don’t. Because I’m not delusional like you.”
Kaufmo exhaled. “The exit door. You don’t see it.” Jax looked away. Not this again.
“No, Kaufie. You’re seeing things. Next time, ask Raggy or someone to be your seeing-eyes.”
Kaufmo scoffed. “It makes sense you wouldn’t see it. You don’t want to leave.”
Jax slowly turned around. “What did you say?” His heart thumped, like the pounding of feet on the ground. Running away.
Kaufmo’s face was still gloomy, though the black paint of his eyes seemed smudged, mimicking eyebags. “You forget about that?”
Jax glared. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kaufmo paced closer. “You told Ribbit that you were glad to be here. That it’s better than the real world.” It wasn’t exactly what Jax had said. But it was more true. Jax pressed his palms together and leered. Nobody could know that.
“You’re making stuff up.”
Kaufmo’s breath ghosted over Jax’s face. He was so close that Jax could see the caked-on paint, the gloss of his lips. Suddenly Kaufmo jerked, his neck pulling sideways.
“It moved,” he gasped. “The exit, it disappeared.”
Jax’s breath forced his chest up and down. Kaufmo gripped Jax’s shoulder, spinning him to face absolutely nothing.
“Where did it go,” Kaufmo gasped. “WHAT DID YOU DO? WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT—”
Jax wrenched Kaufmo’s hand off his shoulder, stumbling backwards.
Kaufmo wasn’t going to do anything. And if he told anyone about Jax’s reaction just now, no one would believe him. He just had to cement that fact in everyone’s minds.
Kaufmo kept yelling, falling to his knees. Jax turned and ran.
Jax made a pass around the room with his eyes. Besides the obvious goal of avoiding Kaufmo, Jax wanted to win. Which meant Kinger was a hard no, because the geezer was currently looking for his hands, which were placed on the back of his head. And Dollface–every single time they were in a room together, she’d look at Jax with her sad eye, pitying and prying and paranoid. Jax hated that look. Which meant…
Jax snatched one of Gangle’s ribbons, yanking it hard enough that part of her ribcage unwound. She yelped.
“Me and Crybaby are going to win this thing,” Jax announced. “Tie us up, Caine!”
In an instant, he and Gangle were bound by the ankle and poofed into existence on some sort of race track.
“Did you have to say it like that?” Gangle asked, squinting into the distance.
“What do you mean?” Jax asked.
Gangle sighed. “I’m not stupid, Jax. Y’know. Like, kinky?”
“Kinky!” Jax exclaimed, turning to look at Gangle. Her mask was slowly turning bright pink. “I didn’t know you knew kinky.”
Gangle turned aside. “I don’t know why you think that. Once I [%$!#] with a figurine.”
Jax reeled, then leaned in delightedly. “You what?”
Gangle slapped her ribbons over her mask. “I didn’t mean to say that! Forget about it!”
Jax laughed. “Oh, Ragatha is going to hear about this one.”
The smile stuck on her mask pulled at the edges. “Please don’t! It’s embarrassing.”
“Then you shouldn’t have said it. And why not? Raggy would love to hear it.”
“I don’t want her to think of me differently,” Gangle looked away. “And because I asked?”
“But it would be funny,”
“...Not as funny as beating everyone in the race?” Gangle tried. “We should get going.”
She was right, they’d spent far too long at the start. But he wasn’t going to let this go.
“Fine. I guess if you don’t want everyone to know, we gotta turn those red ribbons into blue, huh?” Jax started to lope off, not caring if Gangle kept the rhythm.
She stumbled, squeaking. “What?”
Caine had really outdone himself. It was less like a three-legged race as it was a three-legged death race because Jax was pretty sure he’d died like 4 times. He wasn’t sure when he had both his arms chopped off by the chain saws, but it was pretty much confirmed when he got crushed by the thwomp-esque rocks. Luckily, there was some sort of revival potion that they could pick up.
Gangle had broken her comedy mask probably in the first ten steps and had become a lot more whiny ever since. Jax mostly opted to drag her along–it’s not like a bunch of ribbons were very heavy. Or was she just one ribbon? Anyway, that meant Jax could force her to take the brunt of the attacks, while he did the heavy lifting.
They made a good team.
They finally entered an area with no death traps and a party-hat clad Caine. Bubble had a noise maker wedged in its teeth.
“CONGRAULATIONS AND SALUTATIONS," Caine roared, his voice reverberating of the walls like he was some kind of sports announcer.
“You’ve won!”
Bubble blew the noise maker.
“Is…that it?” Jax asked. “No twist ending? No fight to the death?”
Caine’s eyeballs spun around, and he rocked back in mid-air. “Well, I was going to. But then I decided it would be more fun to watch your teammates suffer! Thanks for the enthusiasm, though, Jax! I’ll keep it in mind for the next one.”
“Suffering?” Bubble asked. “I love suffering!”
Caine drop kicked Bubble into the air, where it sailed and burst into a 24k image of Ragatha’s plush face.
The screen surrounded the area, and after a short delay where a volume control popped up under Ragatha’s nose, sound did too.
“Wow, Caine really did make this difficult, huh, Kaufmo?”
Kaufmo didn’t respond. Dollface was essentially dragging him along. Typical Kaufmo. Not putting any effort in.
Ragatha looked away just in time to see a swarm of bees coming after them. She yelped and stumbled into Kaufmo, and the both of them went into a dark pit, the bees following after them.
After a quick ad break, the screen panned out to show Ragatha and Kaufmo in a dark tunnel. Jax munched on some popcorn that had appeared during the ad break.
“Great show, 10/10. Would be better with Kinger,” Jax commented.
“I don’t like seeing them get hurt,” Gangle sniffed.
“Aww, it’s not even that bad.” Jax said. The duo was speckled with bee stings and one of Kaufmo’s limbs was a bit twisted. Jax’s had worse.
Kaufmo cleared his throat. “Can you bee-lieve this?” His smile stretched upwards.
Ragatha wheezed out a laugh, a breathy, high-pitched one. Jax winced.
Kaufmo scowled. “That was a fake laugh.”
Ragatha waved her hands. “No! No, it was funny! You really know how to lighten the mood, Kaufmo!”
“You’re lying,” he said, walking toward the end of the tunnel. Ragatha had to stumble to keep up. “That’s all this f[%$!#]g circus is. A lie. Mirrors and mirrors and smoke.”
“Kaufmo, I didn’t mean–”
“Shut up.” he growled.
The screen flipped to Kinger, who was doing the three legged race by himself and was still in last place. He seemed to be messing with a beehive.
“Do you think he did that on purpose?” Jax asked. He idly threw some popcorn at the screen. “I swear the senile thing is just an act sometimes.”
Kaufmo and Ragatha burst in before Gangle could reply.
Caine clapped his hands together. “And we have our second place winners! Great teamwork, everybody!”
“Yeah, we really stepped up, huh, Ragatha?” Kaufmo nudged Ragatha. She laughed, a little bit better this time. Jax could almost pretend it was real.
“What about you?” Kaufmo asked, staring at Gangle. “Aren’t I funny?”
“Um..:” Gangle looked away. “Not really?”
Kaufmo jittered. “Why not.” He looked around skittishly. “Why did things have to change?” He was breathing heavily now, shoulders rising up.
“Kaufmo-” Ragatha tried.
“Don’t bother,” Jax scoffed. “He’s going off the rails.”
“WHY DON’T YOU THINK I’M FUNNY?!” Kaufmo roared suddenly, whirling around.
He made eye contact with Jax. And then burst into confetti. Caine was standing behind him, fingers in a snapping pose.
“ANYWAY!” Caine boomed. “Award ceremony, medals, and all that! Now go back to the circus!”
And then they were gone. Jax mostly missed the popcorn.
Jax woke up in his purple themed room, light always dim by the shine of the glow-stars. There was something tight in his chest. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kaufmo, how he was bitterly mean instead of his old sarcasm. His mood-swings. The…blaming people.
It felt too familiar.
Jax turned over and shoved a pillow over his head. If Kaufmo wanted to abstract, that was his problem. Jax didn’t care. He’d be happy. Jax opened his eyes, face to face with a black rectangle. He knew exactly what was under it.
Jax stared wide-eyed at his wall. He drummed his fingers over his knees.
Before he thought too hard, he had to see. He just had to check. Jax slipped out of his room and down the hall. Kaufmo’s face started back jollily. No red x.
But Jax blinked, and a pitch monster glowed in his mind. That was the second worst day of his life.
Jax reached into his overall pocket and grabbed the ever present key, thrusting it into the lock and turning it quickly.
Kaufmo was there, sleeping peacefully. Jax’s shoulders dropped, relief washing over him like a lazy ocean wave.
“Jeez, Kaufie,” Jax muttered. “Nice decor.” Red paint splattered the walls, spelling out things Jax didn’t care to read.
He shut the door quietly. He still had work to do, though. As long as there were people in this circus, there was the possibility of abstraction, and as long as there was abstraction, there was the possibility of the Ribbit Fiasco happening again.
Jax made a pit stop by his room to sift through his extra keys, and then made his rounds. Gangle was sprawled across her covers, Kinger peaceful in his pillow fort, Zooble not peaceful because Jax bothered them and then they told him to “Get the f[%$!#]k out!”, and Ragatha, swaddled in her bed like a doll (hah).
Fears assuaged, Jas pressed his head against a door. That was weird. Hopefully Caine wasn’t watching him on camera.
Jax didn’t care, really. He was just seeing who was the best target for a prank. While everyone was sleeping. He sighed, and turned to go to his own room, leaving the last unchecked.
Jax shook out his limbs and pulled the key from his pocket. Ragatha was notably not happy about this.
Jax twisted the key in, kneeling at the foot of the door. His fingers trembled minisculely. The door finally swung open.
Fuck.
Kaufmo had somehow made the room even more creepy since the last time Jax had seen it. The writing was more jagged and even a drawing of Caine. Jax averted his eyes.
He knew what he would see as his eyes drifted towards the center of the room, but he couldn’t help the twitch of his ears as he registered a creature made of pitch, covered in vibrant eyes. The eyes slowly turned on Jax. The day of Ribbit’s abstraction shot through his head, punching through his skull like a bullet.
The monsters looked so similar.
Jax’s eyes caught on a bowling ball. He bent down to pick it up.
“Oh, I've been looking for this. Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufy. I'm gonna head out, see ya.” Jax couldn’t stand being in there any longer. He ran off, using Caine’s rules to go much faster than one could in the regular world. He stopped at the end of the hall, still holding the bowling ball.
It was marbled blue, and not very heavy. The monster roared from down the hall. Jax’s ears shook with the force; it was something almost tangible. He had to get moving. Like Ribbit’s abstraction, it would enter the main circus eventually, which meant Jax couldn’t be in the main circus. He jogged toward where he’d left crybaby and hoo-ha.
What had Caine said the adventure was again? Something in-house. Which wasn’t ideal.
Jax stopped at some sort of pit illusion, breathing heavily. He doubled over, attempting to catch his breath. He hadn’t even run that far.
Fuck, he had to avoid everyone. Zooble, luckily, wasn't participating in the adventure. He had to get as far away from the abstraction as possible. He couldn’t be associated with it.
Jax noticed Kinger and Gangle standing innocuously by a dark pit. There’s an idea. He thrust the bowling ball at the pair, and followed after them.
It was adventure time.
Jax pressed against the vibrant wall, ears twitching. They wouldn’t see him. They couldn’t. Jax would be careful. The circus spread before him, bright colors and children’s toys a mockery of the situation. Kaufmo would’ve hated this, Jax thought. To have a funeral held for him in the circus, the place he’d always hated the most.
Even so, Jax was…relieved. He didn’t want to think about the outside world, and that had become Kaufmo’s whole identity. He turned back against the wall, and breathed and listened.
Ragatha murmured tearfully about Kaufmo–like she even knew him well. Jax was the one who had been his friend.
But he wasn’t there, was he? He wasn’t the one talking about Kaufmo like some sappy, misty-eyed girl. Even Gangle had something to say, and Gangle didn’t know Kaufmo before he started obsessing over “the exit.”
No, Jax was standing against the wall, completely surrounded and incredibly lonely.
He was the last of a three-part whole.
It made one wonder. If one abstraction was a coincidence, was two proof that it was his fault? That he was the predator, the invasive species, and everyone around him were just the victims?
The eulogy was passed to Kinger. Kinger’s voice was soothing, surprisingly stable. Jax latched onto it. Staying flat against the wall, his ears twitched toward the sound.
“Kaufmo was always talking about the exit,” Kinger said mournfully. “It’s admirable to cling to hope when all seems to be godforsaken.”
Tears pricked Jax’s eyes and he angrily scrubbed them away. Why should Kaufmo be praised for something that made him abstract? It was naive. He should have stuck to being the clown.
Kinger’s voice changed to Zooble’s scratchy one. Jax didn’t want to pay attention.
He felt empty. He was the one carrying the last of their memories, captured on polaroids and hung facing the wall.
The stupid praise of Kaufmo finally faded to silence, but Jax could still feel their presence. They didn’t leave, staring at some stupid picture of Kaufmo and doing nothing useful.
Jax slammed a hand over his mouth and crumpled.
He sobbed silently, barely breathing.
He had to stop this, in case the others finished the service and he was still here, vulnerable.
But he didn’t try. Maybe he wanted them to find him. Maybe if he forced this down then it would all be true–him being an emotionless asshole, everything being his fault.
Jax’s fingers trembled over his mouth. His body screamed at him to let it go, to be heard. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t, because Jax was the funny one, and because he didn’t care.
He wouldn’t, because Jax was the villain, and that’s what exactly he wanted.