Chapter Text
When Thor returned it was to discover that almost a year of his own time had passed and Sif and himself, in the minutes separating their entry into the portal had re-emerged weeks apart. The dramatic change in time drove Thor to fulfil his sister's wish as soon as possible, the concept of his own mortality and that of those around him never having hit him so hard before.
The first thing he had done was race back to Asgard and search out his parents. The throne room had cleared with a wave of Odin's hand leaving the King, Queen and Prince alone in the throne room. The action reminded Thor of Thranduil but on the Elvenking the action seemed regal and elegant and natural but it made Thor uncomfortable to note that in comparison it was awkward and forced.
"I found Loki." Thor stated once the guards had left the room, not bothering with niceties. "I found her! She is alive and she is very well."
Frigga gasped, hand flying to her throat as she almost ran forward to seize Thor's arms in an oddly strong grip. "Loki." Se breathed. "How is she? Where is she? Tell me about my daughter!"
Thor smiled and lay his hands comfortingly over his mother's. "She is in a realm they call Middle Earth. There is no Asgard and there are no gods like we know. She resides in an Elven kingdom with the elves of the forest."
Frigga smiled. "She would like that I think. Tell me more." she pleaded and Odin began to slowly descend the stairs from his throne.
"She is their Queen." he revealed softly. "She has been in Middle Earth for five thousand years." Frigga looked pained but the impassive expression on Odin's worried him. "She and the king, Thranduil married and they have three sons. They are Calithilon, Thínor and Legolas and each is beautiful and wonderful. Loki is…Loki is truly happy there. I have never, in all her life seen her so happy."
Frigga nodded. "I am glad, my son. I am glad that Loki was able to find happiness even if I despair that I could not give that to my daughter."
"Loki was not to be a Queen." Odin said sternly from where he stood still several stairs above them, making himself seem even more important, dominating the scene. Thor refused to be cowed, the memory of his brother-in-law's own throne room still fresh in his mind. He thought that perhaps he may prefer the kingdom of the Greenwood to the palace in which he was raised. The golden halls and opulent carvings and elaborate finery seemed to be far too overstated now that he had seen what a truly intimidating throne room looked like.
"Why not?" Thor demanded. "Because she is a frost giant? Because she is my younger sister? Because you thought she was incapable or a failure?" Odin didn't answer but the look Frigga shot her husband should, by rights, left the man a bloody spot on the marble floor. "Loki is a good Queen to the elves of Greenwood. She loves them and they love her. She has surpassed all our expectations."
Frigga smiled happily and held his hand in hers, squeezing comfortingly. "I am glad. I am very glad. I have only wished she would find happiness and it seems as though she has at last."
Thor nodded. "She is. She asked to see you." he admitted. "She opened a portal designed to last a month of our time at best. She said she wants to get her closure as our times run so far apart it is unlikely she will want to see us again."
Frigga nodded instantly, face lighting up with excitement and what looked somewhat like remorse. "Yes. Yes when can we leave? The sooner the better." His mother kissed him on the cheek and then strode from the room muttering to herself. Once the doors closed behind her, Thor could hear her voice rising as she called to servants. Thor smiled at her enthusiasm and turned to his father, feeling his face fall into a confused frown.
"Father? Are you going to join Mother and I when we visit Loki? I believe she would like to speak with you."
Odin sneered slightly. "No." he snapped. "Loki is dead to me. She has been since she leapt from the Bifrost. No daughter of mine, adopted or no, will be disgracing our family like this."
"She is your daughter!" Thor protested shocked. "You raised her! She needed more guidance than me and more assurances and you and mother gave that to her. You cared for her and loved her as your own and one event at the very lowest point of her life will define her for you?"
Odin stared at him blankly before he shook his head and turned and strode back up to his throne. "I have a kingdom to care for." he said impassively as though Thor's tirade was inconsequential. "Your mother can tell me when she returns."
Thor stared after him, fury pounding in his veins but didn't argue, turning sharply on his heel and stalking from the room.
oOo
Frigga was ready to leave early several days later. She waited impatiently for Thor at the end of the Bifrost in her travelling skirts with a leather satchel strung across her body. Her hair was tied back and she gestured for him to hurry up, both of them ignoring the amused face of Heimdall. To his great surprise Odin was also standing beside Frigga with an air of great reluctance. It was clear that he was only there because his wife had explicitly demanded it. None of them exchanged a word in the time it took for them to venture down to Midgard and then reach the portal site. The large circular gateway that the mortals had built was still there, the strange veil fluttering through swirling colours in the connection Loki had re-established.
As they stepped through the portal Thor had to wonder how many years would have elapsed in the days they had spent on their side of the portal. Would Loki still be there? What if something happened to her or her family? Frigga looked just as anxious as himself but Odin only looked wary as he gazed around at their woodland surroundings. He had good reason to be wary Thor believed as he looked around. The woods were darker than they had been on his last trip. Darker and more menacing. A slight fog hung over the forest and it sent a cold chill down Thor's spine and made him clutch the handle of Mjolnir tighter in his hand.
"Come." Thor murmured to his parents. "It is this way." They were not approached by an elven hunting party this time but had to navigate the far more treacherous wood on their own. It seemed to take an age before Thor spotted the tall gates of the elven kingdom but once he did his steps hurried and he guided his parents to the gates of their adopted daughter's new home. "This is the kingdom of the Greenwood." Thor explained as they neared.
"Mirkwood." A new voice corrected and Thor spun around to see a tall elf emerge from the woods on the other side of the path leading to the gates. He was tall and pale with bright blue eyes and long dark hair, braided away from his face. A bow and quiver was slung across his back and a sword strapped to his side. "This forest is now called Mirkwood by the inhabitants."
"How can you understand us?" Odin demanded. "You said that they didn't speak the Alltongue." he added to Thor.
The elf bristled angrily, eyes snapping to Thor and he saw a spark of recognition in those icy eyes. "Calithilon?" Thor asked and the elf's mouth quirked up at the corners.
"Uncle." he replied. "It has been many years."
"You have changed." Thor observed dimly. His nephew now had a long ropy scar marring the length of the left side of his face. It began just below his hairline and vanished into his collar. His hair was longer and braided differently, tighter which made him seem sterner, throwing his injury into sharp relief.
"It has been many long years." Calithilon amended. He turned to Odin and Frigga who were eyeing him with new curiosity now that his identity had been clarified. "Grandmother. Allfather." he said with a slight incline of the head. The lack of more prominent respect made Odin bristle but Calithilon ignored him. "I shall take you to Naneth." he said as he strode towards the gates which opened slowly. He nodded to the guards who bowed in turn and one approached him to speak softly to him. Calithilon frowned looking disturbed and replied rapidly. The guard nodded and stepped closer to the Asgardians along with Calithilon. "This is Aeilard." he said. "He shall take you to see Naneth. There is something I need to attend to. I shall join you later." with that he nodded shortly to them all and strode into the caves, vanishing quickly into the trees.
The guard spoke to them in Elvish but soon realised they couldn't understand so he merely turned and gestured for them to follow him. "Was it like this when you were here before?" Frigga asked. "The forest?" she gestured to the trees around them that like those outside seemed darked and meaner as though they had had to change to suit their new circumstances.
Thor shook his head. "No. It was brighter. Happier. It was the Greenwood not the Mirkwood."
The walk to the throne room, like the walk to the gates, seemed longer, darker filled with more deadly silence that grated on his nerves. Frigga gasped when their first sight of the two elevated thrones came into view. Thranduil was not in his moose antlered seat but Loki was seated comfortably in her own throne. She again wore a green dress and she had a brown silk robe slung over the seat but the Queen always reflected her realm. Loki had a bronze breastplate on over her dress and Thor could see a bow and a quiver of arrows hanging from a tree not far from the throne. Her dark hair was wound into a long, gold-entwined braid that hung over her shoulder, pooling beside her on her throne. She held a thick book in her lap and was pouring over it with a feather quill.
Loki looked up when the guard spoke, bowing low to her, the utmost respect and dedication in his every move. She froze when she saw who was there but beckoned the elf closer which he did, kneeling on the steps below her. She smiled slightly at him and pulled a loose slip of paper from her book, writing a quick message onto the paper and handed it to the elf who seized it in his hands and bowed once more before striding past Thor and his parents.
Loki sank back into her throne and watched as the last remnants of her youth approached her. She was however, no longer the child that her parents remembered. She was not the insecure girl who hid behind her chaos and her lies and her mischief. She had forged a life here, one that she wouldn't leave for all the stars in every cosmos. Frigga let out a broken sob, a smile forming on her face but it was Odin who strode forward towards the throne. The guards all moved as though they were one and ten sharp spears were pointed in Odin's face, their owners all blank faced and emotionless in his presence.
Loki didn't move for several long seconds but then she stood and waved her hand slightly and the spears all vanished but the guards remained surrounding the base of the throne, barring any approach. "Thor." she said, descending towards them in long fluid movements which only seemed more graceful than the last time he had seem her.
"Loki." he replied with a grin and finally Loki smiled. She spoke to the guards who didn't move for several seconds but then moved aside, their reluctance to leave their Queen clear. "It is good to see you again, little sister." he moved past his father and pulled Loki into a hug, palming the back of her head and pressing their cheeks together as he buried his face in her neck. She squirmed irritably but didn't push him away which he considered a good sign.
"I believe I am older now, Thor." she said as he pulled away but he shrugged.
"You shall always be my little sister." he told her firmly and relished the small smile he received in return. "How-how long have I been gone here?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
Loki gave him a small smile that did nothing to comfort him. "Almost five hundred years."
Frigga gave another little sob and pushed Thor out of the way and gazed at her only daughter, tears trickling down her cheeks. Her hands shook as they reached up to cradle Loki's face. She ran her fingers up to Loki's hairline and then down to rest on the other woman's shoulders. Frigga played absently with the thick braid of Loki's hair which now fell to her hips. "Oh my baby." Frigga murmured and pulled Loki into a tight hug, pressing them together and holding on as though she expected Loki to be torn forcibly from her arms. "Loki darling, I am so, so sorry. I wasn’t there for you and I didn't see you hurting…"
"Naneth-Mother. It is fine, it is not your fault."
"It is!" Frigga cried. "I abandoned you when you needed me most!"
Loki shook her head. "I always knew I could come to you." she said softly. "I just didn't want to speak to anyone. It no longer matters now." she waved a hand as though brushing aside the issues that hung between them. "I am happy here. This is where I belong. I only wished to say goodbye to you and to perhaps introduce you to your grandsons."
"We met Calithilon outside." Odin offered, staring at Loki as though she were a particularly interesting puzzle.
"Yes he was hunting." Loki said. "He was to be sent to Thranduil upon his return."
"Yes." Odin continued, voice growing more confident and beginning to border on arrogant as he got a hold of their surroundings. "Where is your mysterious husband? Is he to grace us with his presence?"
Loki bristled, face turning impassive where it once would have darkened with anger and led to tantrums, loud or silent. "He is." Thranduil said smoothly and they turned to see him walking steadily towards them, looking more like he were gliding and serving to make their own movements seem clumsy in comparison. He ignored all their presence in favour of Loki, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. They spoke softly in Elvish, the fluid tongue seeming more natural on Loki's tongue than the language she spoke with her old family.
Loki nodded and slid her arm into her husband's, the action so natural it was almost unnerving. They walked away obviously expecting them to follow which they did, shadowed by the retinue of guards that had most certainly not been present the last time Thor had visited. Thranduil looked almost the same, the long years between visits barely having any alteration on his person. His long pale hair rippled unbound down his back, nearly as long as his wife's and the crown he wore was smaller yet no less impressive, brittle looking wood twisted and woven into a formation that should have been impossible and still bearing the small red berries of a tree that should, by no rights still be able to grow.
Loki and Thranduil spoke softly together as they walked, the book Loki had retrieved from her throne referenced several times and the Asgardians thoroughly ignored. The room they were led to was not one Thor recognised from his previous trip but it was just as private. There was a large circular table in the centre of the room that was covered in scrolls, papers and what appeared to be a large map weighed down by heavy rocks.
There were three elves sat around the table, heads bowed together over several thick scrolls. The elves looked up when they entered and Thor easily recognised Thínor, older and paler looking almost ill from where he sat at the table. He smiled slightly when he saw who was there but didn't stand like the red haired elf to his left did. The red haired female elf bowed shortly to the King and Queen and spoke quietly but left when she was clearly dismissed. The blonde elf beside Thínor stood and bowed his head, taking the offered book from Loki's hands when she offered it and laying it on the table before Thínor.
"Penneth do you know who our guests are?" she asked kindly, idly straightening one of the elf's braids and brushing her fingers softly down his cheek.
The elf stared over her shoulder and past Thranduil who was moving to sit beside Thínor at the table to the Asgardians who were watching the exchange curiously. His hair was as pale as the King's and his eyes were a strange colour that looked nearly green until he moved and his eyes changed in the light, icy blue and then pale violet. "Legolas?" Thor asked incredulously, finally recognising the look of contemplation on the elven face that was so incredibly Loki.
"Uncle?" Legolas asked looking shocked. "I believe I remember you a little."
"You were naught but a babe when we last met."
Loki laughed. "He has grown, our little Green Leaf." Legolas flushed and Thínor chuckled, batting at his father's hands which seemed to be testing his temperature and pulse. "Ion nin, this is your grandmother and grandfather." Loki seemed to pause before she introduced Odin but her expression didn't falter.
"Well met." Legolas greeted with a wide earnest smile and bowed slightly to them gasping when Thor pulled him up into a tight hug.
"It pleases me to see you grown, nephew!" Legolas chocked uncomfortably and fled back to the table when Thor released him. Thranduil patted his arm comfortingly but was unable to fully supress the smirk on his face.
Calithilon suddenly appeared, removing himself from the shadows he had been standing motionlessly in and pulled a chair out for Frigga who took it with a gracious smile. Calithilon pulled the chair between Frigga and Legolas out and Loki smiled at him as she took it, stroking a hand lovingly down his scarred face before he sat himself on Thínor's other side, leaving one seat open for Odin who took it very reluctantly.
"It is good to finally meet you." Thranduil told Frigga with a small rare smile. "I have heard much about you from my wife."
Frigga beamed at him and glanced approvingly at Loki. "And I am glad that she met you. Will you tell us how you met?" she looked from one to the other and their sons all looked up, interested in the story they had never heard.
Loki and Thranduil stared at each other for several long seconds before Loki slowly nodded. "Yes." She allowed eventually. "I suppose you know I threw myself from the Bifrost after the events on Jotunheim and then in the treasury." she glanced at Odin who looked away from her vivid green eyes. She ignored the pained looks from Frigga and Thor and continued, Thranduil taking her hand on top of the table. "I landed just outside the forest and…well…I don't really remember what happened between then and when I woke up in the infirmary with Prince Thranduil sitting beside me and neither of us unable to understand a word the other spoke."
Legolas's mouth twitched in vague amusement at the thought of the confusion generated between his parents, unable to communicate but by angry gestures and interpretation as both their formidable tempers erupted in frustration. "I was on a patrol with three other elves when we found her." Thranduil continued the story somewhat reluctantly, laying his other hand over Loki's slimmer one held in his grip. "There was little chance of danger so the parties were smaller and we were on perimeter. It wasn't hard to find her. Not really."
Odin snorted contemptuously. "How? This forest is huge and she was who knows where on the outer fringes of it?"
Thranduil stared blankly at his father in law, the expression unnerving at it was clear Loki had picked it up from him. "She was screaming." he replied lowly. "She screamed for hours and did not register our presence. She only ceased to scream when her voice failed her and our healers sedated her."
Frigga clasped one hand over her heart and the other raised to stroke over Loki's arm. "Oh my darling." she breathed. Loki shook her head and shrugged off the woman's arm.
"Do not concern yourself." she said softly. "I recovered soon enough. I made a life here, a happy life and I wanted you to see it so that I could give myself and you some closure."
"Are you at war?" Thor asked suddenly, staring down at the papers on the table. He couldn't read the runes on the scrolls but he understood the general gist of the diagrams and the small models on the map. "Is that why the woods are no longer peaceful?"
Thranduil shook his head, letting Loki's hand go so he could readjust the model spider and pull a sheaf of paper towards himself. Upon closer inspection it seemed as though the papers were actually large leaves, treated to be used as paper. "Not yet. It seems…inevitable though." he admitted. "The dwarves unearthed something that they shouldn't in their mountain-"
"Again." Loki sighed irritably and Thranduil nodded in agreement.
"Again and the King Under the Mountain refuses to listen to reason. A darkness is growing that no one but ourselves seem to be feeling and addressing. Our forests have been under attack for some time now."
"Attack? Are those dwarves attacking you?"
"Spiders." Thínor said softly. "We have been attacked by spiders larger than horses and whose venom paralyses and creates severe illness."
"Giant spiders." Odin repeated disbelievingly.
"They continue to thrive no matter how often we remove their nests." Calithilon muttered, scribbling down a note which he added to the book Loki had brought. "We have not yet discovered the source of their main nest."
"How does this prelude to war?" Frigga asked softly exchanging a look with her husband.
Thranduil frowned, drumming is fingers on the table. "Before the last war against the Enemy it is said that great beasts roamed wild." he glanced at his eldest son who looked away with a frown. "Let's hope that this time the signs are wrong." The King sat straighter in his seat and pulled the papers into neat piles in the centre of the table. "This is not the purpose of your visit and time is short. Would you like to speak with Loki privately?"
"No." Frigga said into the silence that had fallen. "No that would not be good for anyone I believe. I merely wished to see my daughter happy and I now know that she is." she turned to Loki who smiled back at her. "Look." Frigga sighed cradling Loki's face in her hand. "I haven't seen you smile like that since you were a child. You are very happy here aren't you, darling?"
Loki nodded. "Yes mother. More than you will ever know."
"Good. You chose well." she added nodding to Thranduil who was again checking Thínor's vitals. "You have achieved more than I ever dreamed of…your children are beautiful."
Legolas blushed along with his mother who smiled a little wetly. "Thank you." she looked out a window to the sun which had moved across the sky surprisingly quickly. The time had passed so fast. "As much as I may wish you could stay a little longer, our time is running short." she turned to Odin. "I thank you for taking me into your home and family but perhaps you should have left me on Jotunheim. Whether I was abandoned or simply hidden was none of your concern and my own fate." Odin looked poised to anger but deflated swiftly enough, staring at her for several seconds. He nodded eventually and smiled a little sadly.
"I thank you, mother, for your love and for accepting a Jotun runt as your own daughter and raising me to be the woman I am today. Thank you. For everything." Frigga smiled sadly, not even pretending there were no tears in her eyes.
Loki then turned to Thor who waited for his own farewell with a small sad smile. "Thor. You were the best brother that I could have asked for. Granted I hated you at times but your heart was always in the right place. I wish you all the luck in the world."
"And the same to you, little sister."
Loki smiled beautifully at them before she stood gracefully and gathered up her book and several other sheafs of paper. "I have a meeting scheduled with the Captain of the Guard now. I need her reports before I go to Lothlorien next week." she smiled again to her old family but made no move to farewell them any further. "Goodbye." she lay a hand on her youngest's head, murmuring to her children in elvish before she kissed Thranduil and left the room. Her steps could be heard in the halls for at least a minute before they were no longer discernable from the sounds of the forest around them.
Loki walked from the room and thus their lives without a backwards glance. Legolas also stood after a glance from his father who nodded. "I shall show you back to the portal." he announced. "Nana believes that at least six months of your time will have passed by now." Thor stood followed by Frigga and Odin and then Thranduil whose regal form could not be ignored. He nodded and dismissed them formally as they left the room in the wake of his youngest son.
Thor supposed that was only to be expected. Royal or not they were visiting another realm, another universe and not one where they were particularly welcome, Queen's family or no. "What is wrong with Thínor?" Frigga asked, lengthening her steps to walk alongside the young elf.
"He was bitten by three spiders." Legolas replied, worry sparkling in his strange ever-changing eyes. "He reacted badly to the venom and it is taking a while for him to recover."
Frigga looped her arm through his and smiled at his dumbfounded expression at the act. "How old are you, dear one? You are my youngest grandchild are you not?"
"I am nearing six hundred years." Legolas revealed. "Nana was ill while she carried me and it prevented her from having any more children. Ada does not mind for he is happy to still have her with him but I believe Nana is happy to not have a daughter. She said she wouldn't know what to do with a daughter."
Frigga hummed understandingly and patted his arm. "I wish I could have been there while you were growing up, you and your brothers. I have always wished for grandchildren."
Legolas looked a little uncomfortable. "It feels almost as though I know you already, Nana has told me so many stories." he cleared his throat. "It is somewhat disconcerting to meet you now."
"I am sorry that is so." Frigga sighed as they left the gates of the kingdom and entered the forest.
"Nana was happy to see you." Legolas offered kindly when no one spoke again, turning to see his grandfather and uncle. "She may not have shown it very well but she was glad of your presence."
"That is good news, nephew. I hope that Loki can find some closure now that she has spoken with us all honestly."
Odin didn't speak but nodded shortly. The portal site was now visibly beginning to degrade, the edges fraying into greens and yellows of violently poisonous shades. The grove of trees had grown and the x that Sif had slashed into the trees were only visible by a faint mark, paler that the rest of the tree even with the healing magic Loki had poured into them. "It may be best of you leave soon." Legolas advised, eyeing the spell work cautiously. "That looks rather volatile."
Frigga nodded, tears beginning to brim her blue eyes once more but she pushed them back, framing Legolas's young face in her hands and pressing a kiss to his brow. "I am very glad to have met you." she whispered. "I see great things for your future." Legolas smiled and allowed her to smooth the braids that framed his temples without complaint. "Farewell." she murmured and Legolas returned the statement before Frigga stepped through the portal.
Odin stepped up to it next. His mouth opened as though to speak but thought better of it, clapping a hand onto Legolas's shoulder instead. He vanished without another word. Thor frowned after his father but pulled his youngest nephew into a tight hug holding him by the shoulders when they separated and staring at him intently. "If you find yourself in need of anything, anything at all, you come and fine me ok? If you are as much like Loki as I believe you are you will be at least sensitive or gifted in the magic Loki uses. She or you should be able to get to us if need be. Do not hesitate, I implore you."
Legolas watched him carefully but then nodded in agreement. "Very well. I promise to contact you if I can and if the situation is dire." Thor could see numerous loopholes in that statement but decided not to argue the point given the familiar gleam in Legolas's eyes. "I wish you well." Thor said gently.
"To you as well." Legolas replied with a smile and the view was shockingly similar to the last time Thor had stepped through this very portal. Legolas looked shockingly like Loki barring his father's hair and his unique eyes and it tugged at Thor's heart to see his young nephew standing alone in that copse of trees almost a mirror image to how Loki had farewelled him a week and five hundred years ago. There was no coming back from this, Thor knew. He doubted that he would hear from Loki or her children ever again.
Legolas may pass on the message to his family but the chances of them actually taking his offer were next to none. He was however glad that they had managed to part with Loki and her family on good terms without any fighting or ill will. It was testament to how Loki had grown in her time in this other realm and how much she had truly been missed in their small family.
Arriving back on his own side of the portal and watching it fizzle into nothing it really, truly hit Thor that Loki was gone. Forever. Forever on the other side of that vanished portal with her family and her kingdom and her new life where she would live out the remainder of her days in what would seem like nothing to Thor. Even if, by curse or luck, they did meet again Loki would not be the girl he had grown up with or the woman who leapt from the Bifrost. She would not even be the Queen and mother he had just farewelled. She would be someone new, someone tempered by new experiences and time. His sister was gone and there was no getting her back.