IMNOTREALLYHERE



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Recent series

  1. Summary

    Izzy Hands is angry, hurting, and barely holding it together. He doesn’t want help, doesn’t trust kindness, and definitely didn’t mean to catch feelings. But healing doesn’t ask permission, and neither does love. A slow descent into softness—dragged there kicking and screaming, one scar at a time.

    Words:
    77,264
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    7
  2. Words:
    34,735
    Works:
    1
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    5,800
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  4. Words:
    1,860
    Works:
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Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 50

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    Summary

    BottomAlastorWeek2024 Day 3: Cocksleeve/Chastity + pretty much at least one prompt from all the other days

    -

    Once every other month, there would be a…pop-up event, of sorts.

    There was no way to know where it would be, or even when, only that it would be somewhere in the Entertainment district, a space they knew would be safe for them to even think of doing what they were doing.

    A notice would be sent out to all of hell's population, announcing a location as well as a date, typically less than a handful of days away from when it was first announced.

    No reservations were taken.

    It was first come first serve, even if you had to fight your way to be one of the lucky few.

    Payment up front, or else.

    It was always said that every person had a doppelganger, a look-alike, someone with the same face as you, the same body.

    Well, the same could be said in hell. Mostly, anyways.

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    The most popular? The Radio Demon of course!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,438
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    257
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
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    08 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 95

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    Summary

    Okay. Okay okay okay, no need to panic.
    He was 99% sure he was awake. Maybe… 92% sure that he wasn’t hallucinating…
    So that meant… It really was yesterday. Or today again. Whatever, it wasn’t tomorrow, today.

    Lucifer wept, this was confusing.

    He was being stupid. He had a whole library of books, he could figure this out. Right?

    Or

    The Stolas-Centric–Time Loop-Groundhog-Day-of-Apology-Tour fic literally no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,337
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    302
    Kudos:
    293
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    6,274

    22 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 21

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    Summary

    Following a close brush with what would have been an extremely inconvenient discorporation, and a second brush with what would have been an even more inconvenient revealing of their clandestine arrangement to Hell, Aziraphale employs Crowley's assistance to help him try out a new magic act. Crowley would rather be spending his time with the angel doing other things, especially with so much time apart to be made up for, but he's as obliging as ever. Of course, he's also capable of multitasking, especially when Aziraphale's magic act calls for more than one of him...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,855
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1,197

    20 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 23

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    Stede gets kidnapped by some enemy pirates who decide to paddle him in front of the crew to humiliate him for not being a "real" pirate. Ed comes to rescue him and discovers that apparently, Stede isn't opposed to a little pain mixed with his pleasure...

    (Written for OFMD Kinktober 2023, Day 5: Anal sex, spanking, "Open up.")

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2,838

    18 Feb 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark 25

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    “You’re not worried I might try something in the night? Take advantage of you? Get a little handsy in my sleep?”

    “Bonnet,” Izzy said dryly, “I’d like to see you try.”

    When Stede discovers ye olde painkillers are having a sedative effect on Izzy, he suggests Izzy sleep in his quarters so he can watch over him. Stede would definitely not take advantage of Izzy’s body. No sir. Not even a harmless grope. Not even a little taste…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,387
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    164
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2,958

    16 Feb 2026