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Chapter Text

Matured Otabek

Yuri P [1]

Yuri P [2] 

So I know the second one says age 18, but I'm going to go ahead and say that how he looks in both pictures is how I picture him in the story. 

“We welcome to the show this evening, Yuuri Katsuki! Give him a warm welcome everyone!”

There loud cheers, signs of support and the shouts of “I love you Yuuri!”. It caused the man to blush but wave at the crowd with a small nod of his head. The hosts waited until everyone settled down before clearing their throats.

“So, Yuuri, I know this is a touchy subject, but can you tell us the subject of your song, Chandelier? I mean, the second it was released, so many people rushed to buy the song. I admit I did too and the song was just so powerful. From what I gather this song though, was about your ex-husband was it not?”

Yuuri gave a sad smile.

“It's been three years since the divorce, that doesn't upset me anymore. I've moved on and I'm in a much better space then I was at the time. But yes, this song is about him but it isn't. My album, is about my growth and acceptance. You can say the reason this song even exists is because my unwillingness to move on from him.”

There was hushed whispers and the host looked surprised.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well as many know, I didn't want to divorce Victor. I believed he was the love of my life. But he had a whole different life than I did. Than what I was comfortable with. You've seen the magazines, the photos, he very much liked to party, drink and have a good time. So, I tried to change myself. I deluded myself into thinking that if I changed, he'd take me back. By then I was already living in my own place. At first, it was fun. I could understand why Victor would be addicted to that lifestyle. But as the time went on, I stopped talking to my family. I ignored my friends, my best friend, Phichit, he called so many times, texted, but I just didn't respond. I didn't know what happened, I don't know how long it was, but I couldn't stop because throughout that experience, I only wanted one person. I know a lot of people know the feeling, of knowing the person you absolutely loved and adored, didn't want you back? What made it even worse was that he was my first in everything. I didn't know who I was without him. It wasn't until Phichit came that I saw what I was doing to myself. He made me look into the mirror, really look, and I didn't recognize myself anymore and I think, right in that moment, it hurt more to know that I was slowly killing myself for someone who didn't love me anymore. That person going out every night, drinking until everyone around them was a blur, who would ever love someone like that?”

Yuuri took a moment. Breathing in remembering just how bad it had gotten. The pain he caused everyone.

“Slowly, and I mean very slowly, I began to learn to love myself and learn who I was. Or at least I wanted to be. I decided right then and there, that I needed to have the strength to move on, to learn how to be on my own without Victor. What helped me though, was a box that I had from middle school to high school. Whenever I was having a bad day or I was feeling sad, somehow, someone would put a fake flower and a small note in my locker. They were encouraging me. To smile, to laugh, and most importantly, to dance. They say fake flowers are better than real ones, because then the love that person has will never fade. I put them all in a box. I had almost forgotten about them until I cleaned out my place, and I found them. I think I cried harder than when Victor asked for a divorce. Because someone had always believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. They did this until high school and I kept them, even today, I have them.”

The audience had been stunned. Some where crying. The hosts looked well surprised and shocked and the male host even stood up to hug him. Yuuri looked embarrassed.

“Guys, please don't cry! I promise you all, I am in a very happy place. I think, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. Because through the pain, I found myself. I found the confidence to let myself love again and I'm doing what I want to do.”

There were cheers again and Yuuri gave a happy laugh.

“Alright, let's take a small break. For everyone at home, stay tuned! Yuuri is going to show us some pictures of his new fashion line and an update on his album!”

There was a loud “break” called out and Yuuri smiled to his hosts before excusing himself to use the restroom real quick. It was a live show so it was a little more nerve wracking than what he was use to.

He pulled out his phone seeing several messages from his friends. He couldn't help but flush seeing two in particular.

He wasn't able to reply, since he was on a time crunch, before he was back on set and continuing with the live show. There were more laughs, horrible jokes told by Yuuri that people actually laughed at because they were terrible, up and coming projects Yuuri was working on and of course his love life.

He only shared a secretive smile turned to the camera and gave a wink though his face burned red.

“Oh god, that's terrible. I'm really bad at flirting. Even that wink was weird.”

This caused everyone to laugh as Yuuri buried his hands in his face. The show ended soon after and Yuuri thanked his hosts for having him. They showered him in compliments, stating he looked great, even better than when he was with Victor, and invited him on the show again when he had time. Yuuri just smiled at their support and thanked him again.

Once he was in the car he got a call from Phichit who was squealing with joy.

“You were great Yuuri! That was such a good show! Had me crying over here, fucking my eyeliner up. God, I love you so much.”

Yuuri again laughed from the back seat of the rented out car as Phichit continued on.

“Sir, we're here.” Came the drivers voice and Yuuri nodded.

“I have to let you go Phichit. I call tonight if I have time, love you.”

“Love you!”

He smiled as he ended the call. When the door was opened, there were flashes and people shouting for Yuuri to comment. He kept his head ducked down as security helped him get inside the building. He had a meeting with his manager, Celestino Cialdini. Who was all smiles when he walked into his office.

“Well, it looks like sales of your song shot up after the show. I got a call from Yakov though while you were on air. Apparently he kindly disagrees of how you portrayed Nikiforov.”

Now this had Yuuri sighing and rolling his eyes. Yakov from the start never liked him though even further disliked him now that his ex-wife was actively having him star in commercials and or parts in popular drama series to show his acting skills. His dance studio (which he owned and taught at) always posted videos and from time to time Yuuri would make a fun dance video and Lilia often had them featured on her website.

“I don't see how this is my problem. I spoke about my experience and the song. It's my life and unlike him, my life doesn't revolve around Victor anymore.”

Yuuri despite now being able to talk about it all three years after the fact, had always had to deal with Yakov. The man's sole mission (to Yuuri at least) to remind him that Victor would always came first. But not anymore.

“I told him that it isn't our problem if it shows him in a negative light. That it's about you and only you. Then I hung up on him.”

Yuuri gave a laugh, nodding in approval of Celestino's choice.

“Anyways, I wanted to go over some of the offers that Lilia sent over. She's been wanting to push you over to movies.”

Ah, yes. Lilia, light of his life, really wanted him to cross that bridge already. He was still hesitant but when he saw the script in front of him he couldn't help but snort.

“She knew I wouldn't say no to this.”

Celestino hummed in amusement.

“Look at the cast list.”

Yuuri flipped over a couple pages, reading a few of the names before he saw a “featuring” and the name. His eyes wide.

“Wait, he actually agreed?”

“Looks like it.”

“Well, then. That's going to be interesting. He hates being in front of cameras.”

Celestino only grinned.

“So, I'm guessing, you're going to take it?”

“If I don't do I suspect these two will pull out from the movie?”

“You suspect correctly.”

“Fine. I don't know how the hell I'm suppose to do an action comedy. They couldn't have agreed to do something smaller, like I don't know, romantic?”

At this Celestino gave him a pointed look and Yuuri just glared.

“So moving on.”

This went about an hour before Yuuri was heading back out to a waiting car, where there now less people trying to shove cameras in his face and asking for him to comment. He was heading back to his apartment, wanting a hot shower, food, and movie, though judging from the texts he knew his plans were slightly askew. He told the driver the change of plans.

He only smiled as they pulled up to the building and Yuuri slipped on his beanie he carried around and put on his glasses (with fake lenses) and headed inside. He looked more ordinary and easier to miss this way. He walked the familiar route towards the elevators and proper level though had to use a key to get to a particular floor (after all if not then anyone could get in).

Once the door opened up, he kept his keys out as he headed to the only door on the floor. He unlocked it and was greeted by an annoyed cat who heard him.

“Ah, Potya. Aren't you looking cute today.” Cooed the Japanese male. The cat did not looked amused.

“Someone is in a bad mood.” He muttered as he trailed further inside of large apartment.

“Otab-” He let out a large squeal when he was picked up and spun around before he could finish calling out to one of the two males that lived there. There was a deep chuckle that followed and Yuuri groaned hitting the bigger male on the chest.

“Every single time!” The smaller one whined.

“Only because it's fun to see you worked up.” The voice sent shivers down his body and Yuuri only glared.

“Where's Yura?” He asked now looking around for the other though saw no sign of him.

“He had to go out to get some food for Potya.”

Ah, so that explained why there was a grumpy cat waiting for him. The cat was waiting for food.

“Well, I'm borrowing your shower first then.” Yuuri hummed as he went to Otabek's room as the other just raised an eyebrow and shook his head. It was about thirty minutes later did he come back out dressed in some tight boxers and one of Otabek's shirts, feeling much to lazy to wear his own clothes that were tucked in some of the dressers. He saw Yuri already sitting there with a scowl on his face. The older male came closer, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and beamed when the scowl lessened. Otabek was cooking in the kitchen so that left them to their own devices in the living room (open floor plans were pretty convenient).

Yuri slipped his arms around the others waist and pulled him down to his lap. His larger frame hunching over to smother Yuuri in affection.

“You had to tell everyone about the flowers and notes?” His accent wasn't as bad anymore compared to a few years ago. In fact all their accents had faded a little since they've been living in the states for so long. But still, you could hear it and Yuri and Otabek's were more easily spotted on Yuuri's own.

“Are you whining?” Came Yuuri's bemused voice.

“No. Yes. A little.” Came his muffled response as he breathed into Yuuri's neck. The Japanese gave a breathy laugh, running his hands through Yuri's hair.

“No it's not. It's sweet.”

Yuri rolled his eyes a little but the small smile on his face said something different. Potya was now lounging on the other side of the large sectional, her belly full. The two were comfortable in their position as mindless TV filled the background with noise. It was until Otabek announced that dinner was ready did the two get off the couch and head to the table.

“Oh! Before I forgot. I agreed to take the role and don't you two pretend to now know what I'm talking about.”

The two shared a laugh and Yuuri rolled his eyes before digging into his dinner. Chicken Alfredo, which was Otabek's specialty since he made it all from scratch.

“Lilia really wanted you in a movie and she figured why not make it to where you can't say no?” Yuri supplied with a smirk.

“I didn't have a problem with it. The script itself is pretty well written. I only show up towards the end. Keep in mind though, Lilia did have them believe that all three of us had already agreed to be in the film. So, we couldn't say no either.”

Otabek explained and Yuuri sighed.

“So basically she had them write the parts according to us.” There was a nod and a “che” from Yuri.

“At least it's not about that figure skating one she wanted us to look over.”

Yuuri paused, remembering the TV series that Lilia wanted them to star in. In the end they all said no and it was passed down to others. He couldn't help but snort remembering who actually agreed to it.

“What's so funny?” Yuri asked and Yuuri couldn't help but turn red.

“I'm just remembering that Victor took that project on. After the first few episodes, they turned his forehead into a meme. Don't you remember? I tried to watch it, but literally all I saw was forehead.”

This had Yuuri laughing, remembering seeing the meme on twitter and when he decided to give the series a try he could stop laughing no matter how hard he tried. That was how Yuri and Otabek found him, on the floor with his laptop, paused on Victor's face, laughing and red. They thought he had an emotional break down only to find out that Yuuri was laughing at his ex-husband huge forehead.

There was a snort and a chuckle.

“It wasn't even that good.” Muttered Yuri. Otabek raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. They had watched it as well and while it wasn't a hit, it had some it's good points.

“It was okay. But yeah, it probably would have done better with actors who could actually figure skate.”

Yuuri knew the two were still touchy on the Victor subject, Yuri more so because of his past with him or lack of really. But Yuuri was now able to talk about it without bursting into tears and that took a long time for him to get there. He was twenty three when he got divorced rushing into marriage at the age of nineteen after being together with Victor since he was seventeen and Victor had been twenty one. Six years they were together romantically, and a handful of years before that as friends. He had been a big part of his life so for him to comfortable mention Victor in any capacity was an accomplishment.

“How is your next song coming along?” Otabek questioned, Yuuri figured it was to keep Yuri from scowling again.

“It's getting there, I'm having trouble getting the sound right with the piano but Yuuko agreed to do a duet.”

The ever pop star Yuuki Nishigori at heart. She had stopped early in her career when she met her current husband Takeshi on a break back in Japan, and they had kids shortly after getting married. So she ended up choosing her family over the fame. But for Yuuri, she was willing to record one more song and Yuuri was going to make it count.

“Everyone is loosing their shit over Chandelier.”

Yuuri gave him a pointed look.

“You released, Shape of You last month and it's still popular.”

There was a flush on Yuri's face at the mention of his own song he had released.

“It is true. Compared to when you were younger, the song is completely different and everyone still loves it.”

Otabek commented. Eight years since Yuri had ran off with Otabek who had been seventeen at the time. They had moved to LA and not once did they look back to the people they left behind. Well that wasn't entirely true. Yuri had been in love with Yuuri since he first saw him in middle school. He was only twelve and Yuuri then was fourteen, but he had seen him. Dancing around with his friends with such a happy expression, and to find out the boy was the as sweet as he looked made him fall harder. So when he left four years later, running away with his best friend, the only regret he had was never having gotten the courage to say anything to the older male directly. But it all changed when the almost four years ago, when he had happened to run into the other during a coffee run. Both of them had been in disguises of course, but Yuri could spot his Yuuri from anywhere.

“I doubt the next song will get any traction like Chandelier, but it's still my song and I want it out there.”

Otabek was often the one to take care of Yuuri when he was having his panic attacks. He was better at comforting Yuuri than even Phichit. So he could easily tell that Yuuri was starting to grow nervous at the idea of releasing such a personal song out there but at the same time he could see the determination of wanting his story heard. Since for three year since the finalized divorce was he finally speaking out on what he went through. Victor and Yakov having having released statements, interviews, talk show hosts, to paint Victor as broken hearted man, and it almost worked. Key word almost.

Otabek and Yuri got to know first hand how Phichit took care of his friends and if someone was trying to fuck with Yuuri? Phichit would destroy them. The man had single-handedly gone on twitter and raged war against Victor and while Yuuri had stayed silent, devastated that Victor would say such things about them, about their marriage, Phichit had not. No, he made sure everyone knew Victor had been in the wrong.

It had been such a bittersweet feeling when Victor was forced to publicly apologize to Yuuri and their “fans” when Phichit's famous snap chat video went viral. Not even Yakov's threats of lawsuits stopped Phichit. The man was a fashion, makeup and public icon. No fucked with his best friend and stayed innocent. Least of all, Victor fucking Nikiforov.

The next forty minutes was spent talking about interviews coming up, or when Otabek had to go and DJ (he got paid a shit ton of money to DJ and make appearances at night clubs). Yuri told them about his interview which was in a few weeks, but they were going to do re-runs from when he was just a teenager which meant a younger Otabek would be featured as well. Much to the mans embarrassment since he was even worse at showing any sort of feelings much less expression.

“I'll make sure to watch them!” Yuuri had practically lit up hearing it.

“Please don't. We seriously looked like punks.” Yuri complained now stretched on the couch with Potya on his stomach and Yuuri in Otabek's lap who had easily argued that Yuri already had his share of lap time.

“Compared to now?” There was a snort, Yuuri's laughter and Yuri tossing a pillow at them.

“Oh, wait, does that mean you're going with him?” He questioned Otabek who shrugged.

“Yura is considered a solo artist now, there wouldn't be a need for me to go.”

“Beka, your coming with me.”

“...nevermind, I'm going.”

Yuuri's laughter rang out again at the two. It was refreshing to laugh and smile so much as he did now.

“Shoot, Phichit wanted me to call before he got on the plane. He's coming to feature in my dance video and one of the commercials. Lilia said I could bring him on.” He didn't bother getting up to grab his phone, he just took Otabek's, typed in the password and easily went to face time Phichit.

In seconds it was picked up and Phichit's smiling face was seen.

“My Yuuri!”

Neither male complained about this. They knew better.

“Hey Phichit. You on the plane yet?”

“Private jet, yes. You know I can't get my beauty rest if I mingle with peasants.”

Now, Phichit wasn't a snob by any means. In fact he was every bit a sweetheart when people weren't fucking with his friends. He was though, in fact dramatic as fuck.

“Why are you like this?” Yuuri sighed with a shake of his head and Otabek couldn't help but find his expression cute and so pressed a quick kiss to his neck causing Yuuri's face to flame up.

Phichit squealed at the display before asking,

“Where's Yurio?”

“I'm here you hamster freak and that's not my name.”

There was a scoff from the phone.

“Rude as fuck. Anyways, are you going come watch us do the dance video? Cause I've decided that's when Yuuri will debut his fashion line!”

Now this was news to Yuuri who whipped the phone back to his face.

“Oh, did I forgot to tell you?”

Yuuri let out a sound that more closely resembled a wounded animal or maybe a crying whale.

“No! Phichit, you said it would be released at your fashion show!”

The man waved away his concern.

“But it would be so much more dramatic if it was featured in your video! Everyone decked out in Yuuri gear! Even little kids! Plus I designed two specific out fits for Otabae and Yurio.”

“I'm sorry, Ota...what?” It was Yuri who spoke from his position, and Otabek looked queasy.

“Otabae! Isn't it cute?!”

None of them spoke. Yuuri because he was freaking out about revealing his fashion line for the first time ever in his video. Yurio because he was laughing and Otabek because he had nothing nice to say.

“If I agree to come, will you not call me that?” Otabek questioned after Yuri stopped laughing. Phichit glared.

“Why are you two so damn rude?!” Cried the man though there was a tap on his shoulder from what Otabek could see and then quick speaking before Phichit turned back to the phone screen.

“We will finish this when I land. Yuuri are you still picking me up from the airport?”

Yuuri finally snapped out of it before sighing.

“Yes, Phichit. I'm guessing you've already shipped the clothes to Lilia then?”

There was a noise of confirmation and Yuuri let out a long suffering sigh but soon after they disconnected.

“Wait, did he call you Otabae?” Yuri snorted and Otabek again looked queasy.

“Please don't call me that.” Yuuri looked wide eyed to him and for a second Otabek grew nervous that he had offended him. Though it was confirmed he didn't when Yuuri leaned in and whispered “otabae”. Otabek may have “gently” tossed Yuuri over to the younger Yuri who at first protested from being tossed a human body though easily wrapped the Japanese male in his arms and legs. The entire time Yuuri had been laughing and squealing at the treatment.

Potya was not amused.

“Yes, I went through a lot of pain. I thought of hurting myself in more ways than one. It honestly was a very dark period in my life. But, I'm glad that I got through it. Because if I hadn't, if I had hurt myself and succeeded, then I wouldn't have met the wonderful people in my life now. Victor may have been a big part of life but if anything I've learned these last few years, is that my life is my own. I get to learn about the two L's on my own terms and I think, I'm doing a pretty good job. My hope as I release my songs, is that you experience growth with me. Remember, if anything, if you're feeling like you can't breathe, like you can't see yourself living another, remember that there is more to life. Life is beautiful. It's filled with so many things that can bring joy, happiness and fulfillment. There is so much to live for and as you listen to my songs, I hope you grow as I did.”

- Yuuri Katsuki