Work Text:
NEPETA: :33 < *ac spies a mighty dragon perched on a tall stone pillar*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac paces around the rock, her long tail swishing back and forth*
NEPETA: :33 < *she’s frustrated that her dragonyyydy suitor is so close, yet still out of reach of her paws!*
NEPETA: :33 < *but the dragon has underestimated her!*
NEPETA: :33 < *she stops behind gc, and tenses all her muscles underneath her to prepare for a*
NEPETA: :33 < *TACKLEPOUNCE!!!*
TEREZI: OUCH!
TEREZI: N3P3T4, WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?
NEPETA: :33 < *you make some unintelligible noises from where you are sprawled on the floor of the cave*
NEPETA: :33 < *who could have guessed that your kitty friend is so accomplished a jumper*
NEPETA: :33 < *and despite your size difference, ac has you pinned on the floor!*
NEPETA: :33 < *with one mouth she smiles a smug feline grin, and with the other she licks you on the sensitive snout where it will tickle!*
TEREZI: F1N3
TEREZI: 1 M34N
TEREZI: *F1N3, S4YS GC*
TEREZI: *4ND BRUSH3S YOU OFF H3R W1TH 4 SW33P OF ON3 M1GHTY, SC4L3D W1NG*
NEPETA: :33 < oof
NEPETA: :33 < *ac quickly rolls to her f33t and begins grooming the dust from her fur*
TEREZI: *GC R1S3S TO H3R FULL M4J3ST1C SPL3NDOR, 3XT3ND1NG H3R COLOSS4L W1NGSP4N UNT1L 1T DROPS TH3 3NT1R3 C4V3RN 1NTO SH4DOW*
TEREZI: *WHY D1D YOU 4TT4CK M3? S4YS GC*
TEREZI: *1 W4S TH1NK1NG 1MPORT4NT DR4GONY THOUGHTS*
NEPETA: :33 < uh
TEREZI: *W3LL? S4YS GC WHO 4S 4 DR4GON 1S NOT KNOWN FOR H3R FORG1V1NG N4TUR3*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac says that there are evil stone trolls amassing! right under the handsome curve of your snout!*
TEREZI: *THOS3 4R3 ROCKS*
NEPETA: :33 < *for now! ac cries*
NEPETA: :33 < *but they are rocks that were only half as big as when we arrived*
NEPETA: :33 < *purrhaps a rock troll was shattered here long ago and now it is putting itself back together
NEPETA: :33 < *there! shouts ac and pounces on a small rock she noticed shifting around
NEPETA: :33 < *she catches it in her toes and strongest set of jaws but it fights her!*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac rolls over the ground and--*
NEPETA: :33 < *despite her best efforts the rock twists away and fr33s itself!*
TEREZI: OW! D4MN 1T! YOU H1T M3 1N TH3 NOS3!
NEPETA: :33 < *ac had tried to restrain the stone, but it slipped through her nimble claws*
NEPETA: :33 < *she thinks that if she doesn't have a dragon's help, they are doomed for sure!*
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: *GC SW33PS TH3 OFF3ND1NG STON3S W1TH H3R TR3M3NDOUS T41L 4ND BL4STS H3R STRONG3ST FL4M3, M3LT1NG TH3 3NT1R3 FLOOR 1NTO SMOOTH BL4CK GL4SS
TEREZI: *TH3 ROCK MONST3RS 4R3 D3F34T3D*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac leaps daintily atop gc’s pillar*
NEPETA: :33 < *she is yowling because the floor was too hot on her paws but she’s also pleased that they won!*
NEPETA: :33 < *even if their victory happened furry fast and more purrfunctionally than she’d expected :((*
TEREZI: *GC C4N’T H3LP 1T 1F SH3’S 4 POW3RFUL 4ND D3C1S1V3 CR34TUR3! SH3--*
TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?
NEPETA: :33 < someone’s trolling me
TEREZI: T3LL TH3M TH3Y’R3 1NT3RRUPT1NG
NEPETA: :33 < it’s equius
NEPETA: :33 < i have to answer him
TEREZI: NO YOU DON’T
centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]
CT: D --> Hello, Nepeta. Are you willing to speak to me
AC: :33 < *ac scrunches up her adorable button nose in confusion*
AC: :33 < *she is always willing to talk to her meowrail, even if he is interrupting a very impurrtant conversation with her dragon friend*
CT: D --> Ah
CT: D --> I’m gratified to hear that
CT: D --> Would that dragon friend happen to be a member of a certain flarping team which i have e%pressly forbid you from seeing
AC: :33 < *ac sticks out her tongue at the bossy troll*
AC: :33 < i don’t care what you’ve expussly furbid! i can s33 who i want!
CT: D --> Yes
AC: :33 < no!
CT: D --> Yes
AC: :33 < wait
AC: :33 < what?
CT: D --> We're in agreement. I’ve overstepped my duties as your moirail by attempting to steer you towards approved playmates, rather than allowing you to find your own hatefriendships
AC: :33 < you never approve of anybody!
CT: D --> E%actly
CT: D --> I have truly behooved abovinably towards you, Nepeta, and I wish to offer my apologies
AC: :33 < uh?
CT: D --> Will you return home
CT: D --> I feel that everything will be better once we’re together
NEPETA: :33 < ow!
TEREZI: *1T S33MS TH4T GC W4SN’T COMPL3T3LY SUCC3SSFUL 1N H3R S1NGL3H4ND3D V1CTORY 4G41NST TH3 V1L3 ROCK TROLLS*
TEREZI: *ON3 ROCK 3SC4P3D H3R D34DLY BR34TH*
TEREZI: *SH3 TR13D TO SUBDU3 1T L1K3 H3R P4RTN3R 4C, BUT H3R L4RG3 4ND LUSTROUS FR4M3 - THOUGH P3RF3CTLY SC4L3D FOR FL4TT3N1NG V1LL4G3S 4ND BLOTT1NG OUT TH3 MOONS FROM TH3 N1GHT -- W4S TOO B1G TO TR4P 1T!*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac darts after the stone as it dances over the floor*
NEPETA: :33 < *her feline instincts are aroused by the chase and she quickly catches it!*
NEPETA: :33 < *but oh no! the ground is too slippery for her adorable paws!* (although at least it’s cooler now)
NEPETA: :33 < *ac slips and runs into the wall*
TEREZI: *GC 4SKS 1F YOU’R3 OK4Y*
NEPETA: :33 < *but ac is very tough kitty, and she isn’t hurt one bit*
NEPETA: :33 < *she grinds the stone into harmless dust again*
TEREZI: *SO NOW BOTH 4C 4ND GC C4N CL41M TH3 V1CTORY*
NEPETA: :33 < *yesss! how shall we celebrate? says ac as she advances with a smooth flick of her hips*
TEREZI: *GC TH1NKS TH4T CH4S1NG STON3S W4SN’T YOUR ONLY F3L1N3 1NST1NCT 4ROUS3D*
NEPETA: :33 < *oh but ac is defurnately still on the chase!*
NEPETA: :33 < *she rubs her furry body on your leg, purring and yowling her most enticing yowl*
TEREZI: *GC BR1NGS DOWN H3R M1GHTY H34D 4ND SNORTS 1NTO YOUR FUR* (H3R BR34TH 1S W4RM BUT NOT TOO HOT)
NEPETA: :33 < *ac leans into the warmth and then she rolls over to expose her fluffy belly!*
NEPETA: :33 < *she kicks at the dragon’s head with her back paws but it is only a playful challenge*
NEPETA: :33 < *her claws aren’t even all the way out*
TEREZI: *TH3 DR4GON C4TCH3S TH3 OFF3ND1NG L1MBS 1N ON3 HUG3 4ND STRONG T4LON*
TEREZI: *SH3 L1CKS 4T YOUR BULG3, WH1CH 1S WR1TH1NG 4W4Y ON H3R 4DOR4BL3 B3LLY L1K3 4 SL1TH3RB34ST 1N TH3 FOR3ST, W41T1NG TO B3 SLURP3D UP FOR D1NN3R*
NEPETA: :33 < no! terezi stop it! mammals don’t have bulges!
TEREZI: R3ALLY?
NEPETA: :33 < *ac thinks you should do this properly*
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT
TEREZI: *BUT TH3 DR4GONYY’YD R4C3 1S D3F1N1T3LY 3QU1PP3D W1TH BULG3S*
TEREZI: *GC’S 1S UNSH34TH1NG NOW, LONG 4ND M4J3ST1C4LLY TH1CK*
NEPETA: :33 < *oh no! it’s not going to fit!*
NEPETA: :33 < *says ac who is an impressive example of her species but still very small in comparison*
TEREZI: *GC 1S NOT D1SCOUR4G3D BY TH3S3 S3LF 3V1D3NT B1OLOG1C4L F4CTS!*
TEREZI: *SH3 R34CH3S FORW4RD W1TH H3R FL3X1BL3 TONGU3 4ND L1CKS H3R W4Y 1NTO YOUR NOOK*
TEREZI: *COMPL3T3LY 1GNOR1NG 4NY NON-3X1ST4NT GR4SS-GR33N BULG3S YOU 4R3 NOT FONDL1NG ON YOUR STOM4CH, OBV1OUSLY*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac appreciates your efforts except for the last part where you broke character*
NEPETA: :33 < *but she is willing to be distracted if you k33p doing that swishy thing*
NEPETA: :33 < *yes that*
NEPETA: :33 < meow!
NEPETA: :33 < hey!
NEPETA: :33 < *ac is startled by you spitting genetic material all over her luxurious coat!*
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3
NEPETA: :33 < *if you f33l that way maybe ac’s not interested in reciprocating after all :((*
TEREZI: NO! OK4Y
TEREZI: *GC 4POLOG1Z3S FOR NOT TR34T1NG YOUR ORG4SM F4C3 W1TH DU3 S3R1OUSN3SS*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac accepts your apology, even though you haven’t stopped giggling yet*
NEPETA: :33 < *she approaches the flicking tip of your bulge by pushing herself forward low on her belly like she’s approaching a small squeakbeast*
TEREZI: PL34S3 DON’T B1T3 MY BULG3
TEREZI: UH *S4YS TH3 DR4GON*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac thinks that is a pretty funny request from you pussonally but as it turns out she has other plans!*
NEPETA: :33 < *she closes in to your mighty organ and moves back and forth with her paws which are strong and nimble from hunting tasty beasts*
TEREZI: *GC HOP3S TH4T YOUR CL4WS 4R3 PUT 4W4Y*
NEPETA: :33 < *they are! although ac smirks again at making you uneasy enough to check*
NEPETA: :33 < *her huge paws are so small and cute on your bulge that she leans her whole body in, until your bulge is trapped betw33n your and ac’s stomachs*
NEPETA: :33 < *she moves her entire body around in swirls*
TEREZI: MHHHMMRRRRRRRR
NEPETA: :33 < *then she presses her paw against the dragon’s nook!*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac hopes that is effective even though she doesn’t have a bulge of her own to push in*
TEREZI: UH, Y34H 1TS 3FF3CT1V3
TEREZI: *GC S4YS 1T’S R34LLY, SUR3. 3FF3CT1V3*
TEREZI: NO H3Y DON’T STOP WH4T’S--
NEPETA: :33 < your computer is vibrating
TEREZI: SH1T
NEPETA: :33 < is it vriskers finally?
TEREZI: NO
NEPETA: :33 < then who?
TEREZI: 1T DO3SN’T M4TT3R
TEREZI: *GC B3NDS 1N 4ND R4SPS TH3 T1P OF H3R TONGU3 OV3R YOUR N3CK*
NEPETA: :33 < *but ac is too quick and steals your handheld computing device away in her jaws!*
TEREZI: G1V3 TH4T B4CK!
NEPETA: :33 < it’s karkat!
NEPETA: :33 < terezi! we have to tell him whats going on!
TEREZI: N3P3T4 PL34S3 JUST G1V3 1T B4CK
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: HEY, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
GC: :33 < *ac gives karkat an annoyed hiss*
GC: :33 < *but it is also a little bit sly like he’s interrupted something very exciting*
CG: NEPETA?
CG: HI! I WASN’T EXPECTING YOU FIND YOU LIKE THIS.
CG: ARE YOU AND TEREZI HAVING A GOOD TIME PRETENDING TO BE RAMPAGING FERALS OR WHATEVER?
GC: :33 < *AC crouches down to watch karkitty*
GC: :33 < *her tail swishes back and forth as she waits for more little word barbs, which she will snatch from the air and crunch betw33n her sharp shiny t33th befur they can cause any trouble*
CG: ... RIGHT.
CG: I’VE BEEN KIND OF AN ASSHOLE TO YOU, HUH?
CG: NOT EVEN KIND OF. THE HEMORRHOIDAL EXCRETION APERTURE OF A BLUBBERBEAST IGNORANT OF THE WONDERS OF MIXING PLANT FIBRE INTO ITS DISEMBOWELED TROLL DINNER.
CG: THAT’S ME.
CG: LET’S FACE IT, MAKING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT FEEL LIKE CRAP IS THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER SUCCEEDED AT.
GC: :33 < that’s not true!
CG: WELL.
CG: THANKS FOR SAYING SO.
CG: LISTEN, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT TO JUMP AROUND AND PRETEND TO BE YOUR LUSUS, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT WORTHWHILE.
CG: HELL, MAYBE I’D BE DOING THE SAME IF MINE WASN’T SUCH A WEIRDO.
CG: IN FACT, WHY DON’T WE MEET UP. YOU, ME, AND TEREZI?
CG: YOU CAN SCHOOLFEED ME IN THE WAYS OF YOUR PEOPLE.
CG: I THINK THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER ONCE WE’RE TOGETHER.
GC: :33 <
CG: NEPETA? WHAT DO YOU SAY?
gallowsCalibrator [GC] -blocked- carcinoGeneticist [CG]
NEPETA: :33 < ...
TEREZI: *GC 1S NO LONG3R 1N 4 LUSTFUL MOOD*
TEREZI: *SH3 CURLS 4ROUND YOU 4ND NUZZL3S SOFTLY 4T YOUR 34R*
NEPETA: :33 < *ac asks what you’re doing*
TEREZI: *GC THOUGHT SH3 W4S B31NG COMFORT1NG*
NEPETA: :33 < fuck you!
NEPETA: :33 < our characters finally got their black issues worked out
NEPETA: :33 < you’re destabilizing their whole relationship dynamic!
NEPETA: :33 < if you want another quadrant flip we have to talk about it in advance!
TEREZI: OH MY GOD!
TEREZI: WHO C4R3S 4BOUT OUR CH4R4CT3RS!
TEREZI: M4YB3 1 4M TH3 ON3 WHO W4NTS SOM3 COMFORT1NG! OTH3RW1S3 WH4T’S TH3 PO1NT?!
NEPETA: :33 < i
NEPETA: :33 < i don’t know
NEPETA: :33 < it’s supposed to be fun
NEPETA: :33 < and it’s easier to think about our purroblems if i can pretend to be a furocious feline creature, instead of just a troll girl
TEREZI: H4H4H4H4
NEPETA: :33 < hissss
TEREZI: NO
TEREZI: TH4T’S NOT WHY 1’M L4UGH1NG
TEREZI: 1 C4N’T 1M4G1N3 4NYTH1NG MOR3 F34RSOM3 TH4N YOU, N3P3T4
TEREZI: YOU’R3 HUG3 4ND YOU K1LL B34STS 3X4CTLY L1K3 OUR CH4R4CT3RS FOR D1NN3R 4ND YOUR CL4WS H4V3 D3STROY3D BU1LD1NG DRON3S 1N 4 S1NGL3 SL1C3, WH1CH 1 H4V3 T4CTFULLY CHOS3N NOT TO NOT1C3 4LTHOUGH 1T 1S H1GHLY 1LL3G4L 4CT1V1TY
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 MONSTROUS, N3P3T4
NEPETA: :33 < oh
NEPETA: :33 < thanks terezi! you’re a terrifying monster too!
TEREZI: 1 TRY! >:D
TEREZI: HUH
NEPETA: :33 < is someone contacting you?
TEREZI: Y3S! 1TS VR1SK4!
NEPETA: :33 < oh thank fuck
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
AG: Guess who!!!!!!!!
AG: You have 8 guesses, 8ut the last seven don’t count. :::;)
GC: VR1SK4! 1 H4V3 N3V3R B33N SO H4PPY TO H34R FROM YOU
GC: 1 THOUGHT TH4T YOU H4D GOTT3N C4UGHT, 4ND W3’D B3 STUCK H3R3 UNT1L W3 W3R3 1NF3CT3D
AG: No way! I told you. 8ase Pyxis’ security doesn’t work against me!
AG: I slipped right in and then right 8ack out again with a hovercraft and everything else we’d need for our 8ig escape! Plus some g8 extras.
GC: 1 4M GL4D TO H34R 1T
GC: HOW3V3R, TH3R3 R3M41NS 4 HOL3 1N YOUR STORY TH3 L3NGTH OF 4 D4Y 4ND 4 FUCK1NG H4LF!
AG: Geez! Calm down!
AG: Fine, I admit it, I screwed up.
AG: AGAIN.
AG: Add another mistake to the Vriska pile! I’m trying to make amends with you here.
AG: So maaaaaaaany 8mends.
GC: VR1SK4
AG: 8ase Pyxis is two continents away. Th8t is PRETTY far, even with a hovercraft.
AG: And 8esides, I had to stop all over the place to pick up our friends.
GC: WH1CH FR13NDS?
AG: You know. All the ones that matter. Equius and Tavros and Fussyfangs and Sollux and 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera 8cetera.
GC: T4VROS 4ND SOLLUX GOT 1NS1D3 4 HOV3RCR4FT TH4T YOU W3R3 P1LOT1NG
GC: UND3R TH31R OWN FR33 W1LL
AG: Sure!
GC: NO, 1 R3FUS3 TO B3L13V3 1T!
AG: You'll see. 8verything will 8e 8etter once we're together!!!!!!!!
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
NEPETA: :33 < terezi? is she coming?
NEPETA: :33 < what did she say?
NEPETA: :33 < oh
NEPETA: :33 < ...
NEPETA: :33 < do you know what i think?
TEREZI: TH4T 1 H4V3 PROV3N MYS3LF 4N 1D1OT 3V3RY S1NGL3 T1M3 1 TRUST3D VR1SK4, 4ND TH4T 1 SHOULD TURN MYS3LF OV3R TO TH3 L3G1SL4C3R4TORS FOR F3LON1OUS 1N4B1L1TY TO L34RN?
TEREZI: 1’M SORRY, N3P3T4
NEPETA: :33 < no!
TEREZI: Y3S
NEPETA: :33 < no, shut up! i’ve had enough apologies today!
NEPETA: :33 < what i think is that purrhaps our characters have red f33lings for each other after all
NEPETA: :33 < *ac leans in and kisses you twice*
NEPETA: :33 < *only she did that at the same time, with both mouths*
NEPETA: :33 < they’ve sharpened their claws on each other long enough
NEPETA: :33 < they’re ready to face their real enemies now
NEPETA: :33 < mammal and scalebeast, teamed up side by side!
TEREZI: YOU M34N TOG3TH3R?
TEREZI: H4H
TEREZI: 4ND H3R3 COM3S TH3 WH1N3 OF VR1SK4’S STOL3N HOV3R V3H1CL3, R1GHT ON CU3
TEREZI: 1T’S FUNNY, 1 4LW4YS PROM1S3 MYS3LF 1 WON’T B3 TH4T TROLL WHO HURTS H3R FR13NDS
TEREZI: 4ND 1 4LW4YS DO 4NYW4Y
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: 1 DON’T KNOW 1F 1’M R34DY FOR TH1S, N3P3T4
NEPETA: :33 < *of course you are says ac*
NEPETA: :33 < *you’re a glorious and noble dragon!*
NEPETA: :33 < *but she adds that anyone can squash their enemies into overripe grubsauce*
NEPETA: :33 < *it would be a much more exciting adventure to steal the hover vehicle back without killing anyone we know or maiming them very much*
NEPETA: :33 < *a true test of agility and slipperiness and finesse!*
NEPETA: :33 < *is what ac says*
TEREZI: *GC CONS1D3RS TH1S PROPOS4L*
TEREZI: *SH3 H4S B33N KNOWN TO SHOW P4RT14L1TY TO 4 W3LL D3F1N3D CH4LL3NG3!*
NEPETA: :33 < *good! says ac and looks excited even though her largest mouth is frowning in determewnation* (but she equips her claws anyway just in case)
TEREZI: *GC 4GR33S 1N 4 D33P, 3CHO1NG RO4R* (4S SH3 DR4WS H3R BL4D3 4S 4N 4LT3RN4T1V3 TO S3TT1NG 3V3RYON3 ON F1R3)
NEPETA: :33 < oh
NEPETA: :33 < it’s quiet outside, i think they’ve landed
TEREZI: Y34H
TEREZI: L3T’S GO S4Y H3LLO