Chapter Text
day one
september 28th, 2016
7:08 p.m.
Namjoon stomps on the last piece of dry leaves outside Cheonggu subway station, crumpling the remaining bit of life in them. He feels rather happy doing it, hearing the crisp sounds of it cracking under his feet.
Autumn was officially here and Namjoon was so fucking happy. Autumn according to him was a time of new life, acceptance, warmth and love and he couldn't really reason it why. A deep smile spreads across his chubby face, his dimples denting in firmly. He pulls down his red hat down firmly on his head and adjusts his backpack properly and heads into the station, sighing slowly at his short-lived happiness.
The air is warm yet chilly as he looks around, and then pulls out his wallet from his pocket and walks mindfully towards the ticketing booth.
He does the usual. Selects one way trip, then selects Gangdong-gu station and selects one person and then slips in his coins and notes. The token slips in the metal counter and then Namjoon walks painfully slow picking it up and checking himself in with the token.
He sighs yet again at his monotonous, dull, boring life and the fact that he has to keep doing this until the point he may get a big break from interning to possibly becoming someone you'd have in your phones or iPods. He really wants it, but he needs to work hard. He's not new to this, but it still hurts that he can't become someone he'd be proud of.
He smooths his jeans and seats himself on a bench as the signboard in pixels read 'Train arriving in 4 minutes.'
It was a good half an hour from Cheonggu to Gangdong and he gets really bored sometimes. He's been doing this for almost a year now and yet, he's still not used to the amount of boredom that hits him. On some days, there are old ahjummas who loved to chat up with somebody and Namjoon loved it too, because why the hell not?
They'd talk about their grandsons, families and what's going on the latest soap operas on the telly and Namjoon listens to them in full awe because really, he didn't have anybody for him in that way.
He moved away from Ilsan to Seoul when he was 18 in order to study in a big university, pursue music, and basically, become who he wanted to be. He fought hard with his parents, who has claimed that music has no future and only people with immense luck do well.
Namjoon was on his damn heels right then to prove them wrong. Every inch of him made the decision to finally tell them what he had been saving up for, what letter he had gotten from Seoul in his cupboard.
When he brought out the letter and jar of money he had kept, his father told him to pack his things and leave his sight at once.
His mom fought for him though, but no. Namjoon walked out the door the very instant his dad told his mom to leave with him if she argued with him.
He had packed his stuff in a hurry, throwing whatever that caught his hand into his luggage and gave a grimacing look by the door as he walked out.
Things eventually got better though, one year later, his mom called him somehow and asked of his health and his whatnots. But his dad refused to talk. His dad sends him 300,000₩ every month on his account and that's it. That's all the connection he has with his dad.
No, but not really. He has them but he kinda lost them. It is almost like not having anybody. He gets really lonely sometimes and yes, those ahjummas remind him of his family and his life back at Ilsan.
The train is seen at the distance with its bright headlight and Namjoon gets up instantly and waits near the boarding anxiously.
It finally arrives and Namjoon gets inside along with a few other people from the other doors and finds that all the seats were already taken, so he stands almost very close to the door and hooks his hand to the handles above him.
The train jerks into motion. Namjoon closes his eyes and holds on firmer onto the handle.
There are almost 10 stops from Cheonggu to Gangdong and everytime, there's either there's a huge rush of people in one station or a lot of people get off in one station. There is no in-between. But today seemed very peculiar as the train stops in the first station from Cheonggu and no one really gets off or on.
Namjoon shrugs and plugs his earphones into his ears, blocking out the sounds of the vibrating tracks beneath him.
The speaker suddenly reads that Wangsimni station is approaching next and then Namjoon straightens out to prepare himself for a seat.
The alert on the door rings and the train comes to a halt at Wangsimni station and not a lot of people got off and that really made Namjoon suspicious.
This really wasn't normal, if you'd ask him. His memory serves him right and that means that before Majang station, the train should be almost empty, but no, it wasn't.
For one minute, he thinks he's got on the wrong line but then, it was the right train as he finds the same lady, the one wearing expensive pencil skirts and blazers with remains of red lipstick, the same top-bun look at his way and give a reassuring smile. He smiles back, not knowing what to do.
The door gives an alert that it was going to close and right then, he hears someone yelling "Wait!"
The person runs extensively like their legs were set on fire and Namjoon can't help but wonder whether they could make it on time.
He taps his foot multiple times, clenching his teeth in curiosity and just then, the person squeezes past the electronic doors and breathes heavily.
Namjoon also breathes heavily. He looks at the man in front of him, the one who just ran in like it was just another day, and his eyes widen.
The man (boy?) was almost half his height, just a bit above the half, you could say. He wore a camouflage jacket, black jeans and some boots. His hair was a raven black and his ears contained piercings on the shell. He wipes sweat off his sheen, still heavily breathing and then looks around the compartment to find an empty seat. The man then settles next to Namjoon, his eyes still looking carefully for an empty space anywhere.
Namjoon watches the man intently and by that, he means subtle staring. The train jerks again, heading towards the next station quickly.
The man stumbles around without support and almost crashes into Namjoon but holds himself back. He then clicks his tongue and then proceeds to grip his hand on the railing above him.
But guess what, this man was the definition of being small and petite. His hands reach but not quite, he has to get on his toes if he wants to hold on to that railing. His hands grip the handle but with a lot of difficulty and then he gives up.
Namjoon really wanted to cover himself with a scarf and then laugh. He was too cute. He smiles with concern at the man but he rejects any kind of sympathy with his grimacing look. So Namjoon stays quiet and watches the man and his antics.
The man looks at his boots and then sighs. The pole beside him was the only hope he had but that too was taken. He looks around again and then fixes his gaze on something outside the glass windows.
The train moves without a noise as evening color spreads through the horizon. The song playing in Namjoon's earphones is on a low volume as stands in silence just waiting for a seat.
Just then, a faint feeling appears on his forearm, which resembles nothing like a normal thing he would feel in a subway.
He whips his head automatically to the right where the man stood next to him and then found a palm on his bicep, curling its way in.
Namjoon doesn't jerk away and give disgusting looks like he's supposed to but instead he only acknowledges it and smiles a tiny bit at the man.
He had really huge hands for someone so small. The man is blissfully unaware of the small contact and is still looking outside the glass panes on the train and Namjoon forces himself to look away from the small man.
Again, when Namjoon looks at him, he doesn't return the gesture.
The door rings again, halting Namjoon's train of thoughts and bringing him back to reality where the man is shuffling beside him, hand not leaving Namjoon's bicep.
Namjoon doesn't disturb him though. He lets himself enjoy it as long as it happens.
The train goes through turbulence and tunnels alike, pushing the man back and forth into Namjoon's chest, his hands tightening its grip into Namjoon's jacket.
When the train reaches the next station, the door dings open and a shitload of people get off, leaving enough seats empty for the people standing and he hears the man sigh in relief beside him. He lets go of Namjoon's arm in an instant and occupies an empty seat next to the partition.
As soon as the people get off, very less people get in and then the door closes and Namjoon settles into one of the seats which were kinda far away from the man, placing his backpack in his lap and then burying his face in it. He then breathes.
He feels a little creepy smile press into his dimples as he breathed again, into his backpack.
Who was this man and why the hell did he hold on to Namjoon's arm? And why the fuck was he so small and adorable? He smiles to himself again at the very tiny exchange between himself and the man and then proceeds to focus on the music for once, making a valiant effort to run away from his thoughts.
The train passes Achasan station and his carriage remains with the same amount of people. The compartment contains almost all kinds of people, a pregnant woman, old men, teenagers, women with babies, a small person and then Namjoon.
He sits there, eating a donut he picked up earlier, eyeing the small man in the far corner.
Too creepy.
He notices that the man glues his eyes a lot to his phone, looking into it every now and then, crinkling his forehead and shrinking his eyes.
He then picks up a call, with a giant sigh after it rings a few times in some mild ringtone.
"I told you I'll do it tomorrow, Hoseok. I'm going home now. Yeah. Tomorrow, yes. I swear to God. Okay. Promise. Bye." and then he hangs up.
His voice sounds like a flame next to a marshmallow. Cracking, deep, rough and sure-fire. He sounded tired, very done with life and lifeless.
Namjoon bites into his donut again, averting his eyes to outside the window as he watches the train pass by trees and countless buildings.
Just then the speaker reads out "Next station, Gangdong."
His stop comes faster than expected as he stuffs the rest of his donut into his mouth and stands up to get next to the door.
He pulls down his jacket and waits for the door to open as the train stops onto the brown platform. He gets out and then turns back in a microsecond to catch a glimpse of the small man once again. He seems to be fumbling with something but then he looks up and then outside and his eyes find Namjoon looking at him.
Namjoon doesn't look away like he's supposed to, but he smiles nervously from the other side of the train.
He smiles back with his petite lips and looks down again.
Namjoon walks into a pole that day.