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The reflection of the fireworks across the water makes the whole event seem far more magical than any Fourth of July celebration Derek’s ever witnessed before. And maybe that was supposed to be the point of this outing? But he can’t exactly ask when the only one to direct the question to is currently giving him the cold shoulder.
Will sits beside him in the small boat, a good foot of space between them, his jaw tense and his eyes pointedly only looking at the colorful display before them.
It was Will’s idea to come out here tonight, while the rest of his family watched the show from their usual spot on the beach. But that idea was presented well before Derek had... Well. Before Derek had been an idiot earlier today and made things so awkward between them that it’s now genuinely painful to sit here.
He’s not sure if he can stand another minute of this honestly. The only reason they’re even out here on this boat right now, instead of still avoiding each other, is because Derek is a glutton for punishment, and Will is so stubborn it would take an entire army to keep him from seeing through something he’s already committed himself to doing.
“So. Did you bring me out here to kill me or?” Derek finally breaks the suffocating silence between them. The noise of fireworks going off in the distance seems muted and unable to fully reach the small bubble of their boat.
Will sighs and lets his head drop so that he’s looking at his own knees. “I brought you out here because I said that I would.” Then he turns and looks up at Derek, eyes narrowing. “You could have said no, you know. You didn’t have to come with me.”
Derek swallows against a dry throat. He feels like he’s the awkward, biracial, bisexual kid back in his first year at Andover all over again for how wrong-footed he is now. Navigating interpersonal relationships has not been this hard in years.
Of course, he hasn’t actually let himself care about any of them in years either. Not until now.
Which was probably his first mistake. Caring about things is always Derek’s first mistake.
“If you want me to go home tomorrow, I will,” he says. It’s only been three days into what was supposed to be a ten day visit to Will’s parent’s place this summer, but fuck it. Derek doesn’t want to stick around if it’s going to be like this the entire time.
Will huffs like he’s half angry and half confused. It’s practically his default setting in any conversation they have. But then he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. His shoulders slump. “I don’t know what you want from me, Nurse.”
What Derek wants from him is everything he knows Will can’t give. He wants for Will to have kissed him back earlier today when Derek threw caution to the wind and just went for it. He wants Will to close the distance between them now on this boat. He wants Will to want him the same way he wants Will. Or, fuck, to want him at all, even if only in bits and pieces.
Before Derek can respond, Will opens his eyes and his expression turns serious, though not cold. The opposite of cold, really, but still calculating. “Why did you come here this summer?”
“Because I wanted to,” Derek shrugs, because some truths are still easy, even under duress. “We talked about this last semester, man.”
“I don’t think we did. Not... not the way we apparently should have.”
Derek looks away, towards the water.
Will clears his throat. His voice is low and husky when he speaks again. “Why did you kiss me?”
Derek shuts his eyes tight even though he’s not looking at Will anymore. He wishes he could take back this entire day and start over again. He wouldn’t be such a moron this time around. He’d make strained small talk with Will’s intimidating older brother, and he’d charm Will’s mother while staying out of Will’s father’s hair entirely. He’d help wrangle the smaller cousins when it was time to head out for barbecuing and sparklers. And he would definitely not let himself kiss William Poindexter full on the mouth while they stood in the middle of Will’s childhood bedroom, softly arguing about sleeping arrangements now that there was such a full house.
Maybe then Will wouldn’t have frozen at the first press of Derek’s lips. Wouldn’t have immediately shoved Derek away. Wouldn’t have then gaped for a long moment, cheeks a bright, angry red, eyes wide, eyebrows drawn furiously down, before turning and walking quickly away without a word.
“It won’t happen again,” Derek says.
“That didn’t answer my question.”
“Well I’m not fucking answering your question when we both know it won’t make a difference, alright? I kissed you and you didn’t want me to. I’m sorry. But I’m also really not looking forward to hashing out the terms of your rejection, so can we just leave it alone? I promise I won’t make it weird.”
“No,” Will shakes his head. His ears are burning, his neck and collarbone gone splotchy with a full-bodied blush. But his gaze is determined and his mouth is that thin, hard line it only ever is when he’s facing down a championship game. “No, I’m sorry. For how I reacted. But I need you to tell me why you did it before I can... I don’t want you to leave, Nursey. But I don’t want you to stay if you-- if you didn’t mean it.”
The sound of fireworks starts to get louder as the finale approaches. The sky above and the water below are both lit up with it. Derek just sighs. “Of course I meant it.”
“But... why?”
Derek has never seen his defense partner, his roommate, his friend, look so vulnerable before. So scared. HIs breath hitches. “Because I wanted to. Because I’ve wanted to for awhile now.”
And as if he’s spoken the magic words, Will’s expression suddenly softens, and he pushes forward to finally, finally, finally, kiss Derek back.
The fireworks have ended, but Derek doesn’t notice until thirty minutes later when they pull apart, panting and clinging to each other and grinning like a pair of idiots.
“Hashtag blessed,” Derek whispers, contorting his grin into a smirk.
Will shoves him so hard he nearly falls out of the boat, the both of them laughing the entire time.
Derek kisses him again as Will helps him back upright with a solid grip at his elbow and around his waist.
Will kisses him back. And quietly promises as they row back to shore that he will keep kissing him back for as long as Derek will let him.