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Erwin had often found, that whenever he brought up the the subject of Armin, people reacted in much the same way.
They froze, they gaped, and they stared at him in shock.
"You have a son?"
It irked him, terribly.
Rationally, he knows the reaction is to be expected. He has always kept his personal and professional lives strictly separate. He didn't keep photographs in his wallet, which he showed off to everyone who would listen. There was no photographs or mementos on his desk that would tip people off.
In fact, he rarely talked about Armin at all.
---
Armin had been the result of a year long fling with a girl from Shiganshina. Erwin had been young, freshly graduated from military training, and a good deal more idealistic.
His family, old Sina blue-bloods the lot of them, had been shocked and outraged. They were already angry at him for joining the Scouting Legion in the first place, and the out-of-wedlock pregnancy was the final straw.
They disowned him on the spot, something which Erwin had been expecting anyway and wasn't too upset over. As far as they were concerned Armin didn't exist.
They might have forgiven him if he had married the girl, something Erwin fully intended to do. However, the point became moot when Armin was born two months premature, and the girl died from complications with the birth.
As Erwin's fresh military career kept him busy, Armin had gone under the care of his mother's parents.
Erwin dutifully visited whenever he got leave, and made sure to forward his paycheck to pay for the boy's upbringing.
---
Armin is six, when Erwin meets Eren for the first time. He had been sitting in the Arlert's kitchen drinking tea, when a boy he had never seen before walked in.
Their first reactions what much the same.
"Who the hell are you?"
"Erwin Smith," Erwin had answered first, assuming the boy must be a friend of Armin's. "I'm Armin's father."
"Bullshit," the boy had retorted. "Armin's dad is dead. I'm getting the police!"
Thankfully Armin's grandfather had intercepted the boy before he could actually get the police, and had explained that, yes, Mr. Smith was actually Armin's father, and no he was not a zombie back from the dead.
The boy had accepted the information, and had promptly dragged Armin off to go play somewhere.
"A new friend of Armin's I assume," Erwin had asked. He could never say he was on good terms with his in-laws, but they at least tolerated him.
"Eren Jeager," the old man answered. "and if by new friend you mean they've know each other since they could walk, than yes."
Erwin frowned. "Why did he think I was dead?"
"Honestly?" his father-in-law poured himself a cup of the tea. "Look, I'll be honest with you. I know the military keeps you busy, and you've always been good about supporting the boy, but you and Armin rarely see each other except when you visit. Armin's a smart lad, but I don't know if he even realizes you're his father, and not just some man who comes to visit him every few months. As for Jeager, Armin probably told him that his mother was dead, and he got something mixed up." He took a casual sip of tea. "Not like you were around to prove otherwise."
That had stung.
---
The attack on Shiganshina caught everyone off guard.
For Erwin, its like being tied to two horses, each one going the other way. The Scouting Legion, like everyone else, is running around like a headless chicken trying to make sense of what's going on. Decimated as they are, they are still needed to fight the titans and to try to hold them off long enough so that more civilians can be evacuated.
Then there's the fact that he doesn't know what's happened to Armin. Refugees are fleeing to the safety of Wall Rose anyway they can. There's thousands of them from all over Wall Maria. Armin could be among any one of those groups, and Erwin doesn't even know if he's still alive.
He spends every minute he can spare scouring the various refugee camps for any sign of his son. He would spend every waking minute searching, except his duties in the Scouting Legion prevent that. He's about to beg Commander Shadis for a temporary leave in order to spend more time searching. Then he gets a letter from his father-in-law explaining that they're in the refugee camp at Trost, and that Armin made it out alright.
Its like a great weight has been taken off his heart. Armin is alright, and for the moment as safe as anyone. He can get back to his duties without having to worry.
---
The year sees many things change, chief among them is Kieth Shadis's retirement and Erwin's promotion to Commander of the Scouting Legion. That changes everything.
One of the more important ways it changes, is that Erwin can now afford to buy a small house in Trost for Armin to stay in. That becomes even more important when his father-in-law passes away.
His new promotion however means that he had even more responsibilities that take up his time, and less time than ever to visit his son.
It's during those rare visits that Erwin wakes up in the middle of the night with a sudden craving for cherries. He grabs a hooded candle and ventures down into the cellar where he knows a jar or two is stashed away. It's only when he pushes back a particularly large crate that he discovers Eren Jeager and a girl he learns is Mikasa Ackerman, curled up asleep in a concealed nest of pillows and blankets.
---
When he interrogates the housekeeper, she produces a letter, purportedly from him, which explains that a couple of Armin's friends will be staying in the house for an indefinite period of time, with an added post script saying in effect that he is very busy with his responsibilities and doesn't want to be bothered with any news of those two. If he wants to know, he will ask.
It's a letter he most certainly didn't write, even if the signature bears a striking resemblance to his own and its sealed with his signet ring.
Its a good forgery. Even if Armin didn't have any hand in actually writing it, it would have had to be him who got the handwriting samples necessary to imitate his writing and signature, and Armin would be the most likely person to know where he kept his signet ring.
---
He calls Armin into his office the next day. At the very least the boy deserved the chance to explain why his friends where sleeping the cellar, and why he felt the need to keep him in the dark about it.
Armin's explanation was basically what Erwin expected. His friends had nowhere to go since Wall Maria fell, so Armin invited them to stay with him. He didn't tell his father, because he was afraid Erwin would say no.
"But," Erwin leaned forward and steepled his hands. "Surely you didn't expect to be able to hide them here forever. I would have stumbled across them sooner or later."
"Not forever," Armin protested. He at least looked outraged at the implication that he hadn't considered that. "Just two more years, and then we would be old enough to enlist!"
Enlist?
WHAT!?
It was the first he had heard that Armin had any inclination to join the military. From the way Armin went pale, he hadn't meant to let him know either.
"Son..." Erwin took a deep breath. "How long have you been planning to enlist?"
"Five years," Armin admitted sheepishly. "Since I found that book in Grandpa's storage."
Erwin doesn't know what book he's talking about, and it suddenly hits him like a blow from a fifteen meter titan just how little he knows about his boy.
"When were you planning on telling me this?" he asks carefully. He has no objection to Armin enlisting, in fact he feels almost proud that his son wants to follow in his steps. Armin's silence tells him all he needs to know.
He wasn't planning on telling him at all.
Figures run through Erwin's head as he digests it all. If Armin and his friends enlisted the moment they were eligible to, which would be when he was right in the middle of requisitioning new supplies for the year, then he might not have even realized Armin was gone until the boy was over a month into the program.
The revelation is another sickening punch to the gut.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks carefully. Half of him is dreading the answer.
"You didn't ask?" Armin supplies with a half-shrug. "I didn't think you actually cared."
A knife to the chest couldn't have hurt more.
"Armin," he says at length. "You can go back to bed now. Your friends can sleep in the spare bedroom for now. I will talk with you again tomorrow."
---
He doesn't get any sleep that night. He keeps replaying the conversation over and over in his head.
"I didn't think you actually cared."
A part of him in angry. Furious that his son could even consider the idea that he doesn't care about him. The other part, which speaks rationally, and with a little bit of guilt, points out that how would Armin know otherwise. The military has kept him so busy, that has only ever been able to visit the boy every few months, and even then, only for a couple days at a time.
When have you ever had the time to show Armin that you care for him? For Walls sake, your subordinates know you better than your own son likely does!
He looks like hell when Armin comes into his office the next day.
"Armin," he says at length. "Last night's talk was very enlightening for me. I realize that I haven't been as good a father as perhaps I should have been, and we both know that nothing I do now will change that. However, if you really are serious about joining the Military, than you have my full support as your father. Don't expect me to pull any favors to make things easy for you, but I will make sure by the time you enlist, you are as ready for what's ahead of you as you can possibly be. So let me ask you, are you serious about joining the Military?"
Armin looks faintly surprised, and the look sends a twinge of guilt through Erwin. But, the boy's face hardens, and he looks at his father resolutely. "Completely."
"Good," Erwin straightens up. "I will see about borrowing some training equipment. You're friends are welcome to join you, but I expect all of you to be awake with the dawn tomorrow to come with me to Legion HQ. You can leave now."
Armin climbs to his feet quickly, gives his father a crude salute, and darts out the door.
---
Levi comes to him the next day, with questions as to why there are a trio of "shitty brats" running laps around the inner courtyard.
"My son and his friends," Erwin explains. "They want to join the military when they are old enough, so their doing some early training."
Levi casts him a sideways look that, while subtle, represents as close to complete befuddlement as Levi is capable of showing.
"You have a son?"