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SIX DAYS UNTIL NANOWRIMO
Eren wasn’t sure how he’d been roped into this.
Actually, that was a lie. He knew exactly how it had happened. Armin had looked at him with his too bright, too eager eyes, had suggested, “I think we should go to the local kick off party. It’ll be fun! We can meet new people, make some friends who like writing, like us,” Mikasa had pinned him with a glare that said, in no uncertain terms, “Don’t you dare make Armin sad,” and Eren had replied, “Uhh, I guess.” An online RSVP and a handful of days later, there he was at a crowded restaurant the Saturday before the start of National Novel Writing Month.
“I didn’t think there’d be so many people,” Eren said, looking around. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. He wasn’t sure what he expected out of tonight, but he knew that he wasn’t interested in meeting new people. For one thing, he sucked at making friends and dealing with new people was annoying. For another, he was fine with the friends he had, thanks.
Armin, he knew, always interacted with people (read: procrastinated) on the NaNoWriMo forums, but Eren preferred to just do his own thing and write by himself, only going on the website to update his daily word count. He hadn’t thought Mikasa was involved in NaNo besides the actual writing bit, either, which was why he he’d been surprised when she agreed with Armin. But maybe she wanted to make new friends, too. In which case they should have just left Eren at home and gone by themselves—but no, they always had to do things as a group.
Eren sighed, wondering how he had ended up with such clingy friends, and resolved to stick close to Armin and Mikasa until he could convince them to excuse themselves at the earliest time possible while still being polite.
Of course, Armin ruined his plans a second later, when he tugged on his arm and said, “Is that Jean? Look! I didn’t know he did NaNo. We should talk to him.”
“Ew,” Eren said, pulling away. “I’m not talking to that loser. You can go.”
Jean was annoying. He was that guy you hated that you thought you would never have to see or deal with again after high school, except somehow you did see each other again. Quite often, actually.
Well, maybe the fact that it was actually only Eren who hated him and Armin kept in touch with him had something to do with it.
Still. Eren and Jean? Not happening.
Armin rolled his eyes, but he knew better than to argue (thank goodness). Jean didn’t much like Eren, either. “Fine. Stand here by yourself, then. Come on, Mikasa.”
Mikasa hesitated, looking at Eren. “I know you don’t like meeting new people, but you could at least make an effort.”
Frowning, Eren turned away and scanned the area, and his eyes fell on a dark-haired man sitting slightly apart from the others, scowling at nothing in particular.
Ah, Eren thought, a kindred spirit.
“Fine, fine, I’ll talk to that guy over there, okay?” Eren said, nodding his head towards him. “He looks like he could use a friend.” If nothing else, they could bond over their mutual lack of desire to be there.
Mikasa sighed, a soft, resigned exhalation. “Alright, Eren.”
They split up, Mikasa going to join Armin, who was already chatting it up with Jean (why), and Eren making his way over to his new ‘friend.’
He slid into the seat opposite the man and waited.
The man’s scowl deepened. “Can I help you?” he asked, not sounding at all like he wanted to help Eren with anything, unless it perhaps involved relocating Eren somewhere far away from him.
“Let me guess,” Eren said, undeterred, “you were dragged here by someone.”
“And then I was ditched,” he finished, crossing his arms. “That obvious?”
“Well, I was more or less dragged here, too, so. I recognized the look. I’m Eren, by the way.”
He held out his hand, and the man shook it, brief. “Levi.”
Levi didn’t look at all interested in conversation, but that was just too bad for him, because Eren might not like meeting new people, but if he was stuck here, he wasn’t going to pass the hours in boring silence.
“So, I don’t know about you,” Eren said, glancing around and lowering his voice, “but I’m trying to figure out how long I have to stay until I can leave without it being rude.”
“Unfortunately, I have to stay for the duration of the party.” Levi slouched forward in his seat, clearly unhappy with his predicament.
He was also clearly unimpressed with his dramatics. Eren straightened up, offering him a sympathetic smile. “Damn, that sucks. Your friend won’t let you leave?”
“She’s the host. I don’t think she’d ever let me hear the end of it if I ditched,” Levi replied.
“Oh, well, that’s cool, I guess, about being the host. But I’m sorry you’re stuck here. That sounds horrible. Granted, I’m still trying to figure out how to convince my friends to leave early.” Eren shook his head. “They should just let me embrace my role as the party pooper. It’s always been the way. Like, you know when the teacher forgets to collect homework and that one asshole just has to ask the teacher about it at the end of the period? Yeah, I was that kid.”
It wasn’t like he’d wanted to ruin anyone’s life, but Eren would always work hard on his homework so it was really annoying when teachers forgot to check it or collect it or whatever, okay.
“Anyway, sorry, that had nothing to do with anything. But yeah, I’m not really much of a party person.”
“Me neither,” Levi said. “I was hoping no one would approach me if I glared hard enough, but it obviously didn’t work.”
“Ahh.” Eren smiled. “Yeah, sorry, you’re out of luck here, because I am impervious to glares—well, except for Mikasa’s, but she’s, like, the exception to everything.”
“Your girlfriend?”
“Friend. Practically my sister, though. Her and Armin, I’ve known them forever. They’re like my family. You know how family is—you love them and all but then they drag you to a party you don’t want to go to.”
Levi nodded a little, but otherwise didn’t respond.
“I’m pretty lacking in the romance department,” Eren added, lamely. “And the friends department, actually. I don’t get along with a lot of people, their attitudes bug me—though my dad always said that the problem was my attitude—”
Levi made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a stifled laugh.
“Wow, I never would have expected to hear a laugh from you,” Eren commented, giving himself a mental pat on the back for his success. And he hadn’t even been trying.
“Oh? And why is that?”
“You just give off that aura, you know?”
“What aura?” Levi asked, raising his eyebrows at him.
“You know, the ‘I hate everyone yes including you no your jokes aren’t funny’ kind of aura,” Eren explained.
“You’re…interesting,” Levi said.
“Was that pause so you could pick a more flattering word?”
“I hardly ever bother to make an effort being polite and when I do, you call me out on it,” Levi griped. “If you don’t want me to sugarcoat, then I guess I should just come right out and say it: You’re fucking weird.”
Eren smiled. “Thanks. Don’t feel like you have to hold back with your insults. You can’t be worse than some of the kids I get.” He mock-shuddered. “High school students.”
“Wait,” Levi said. “I thought you said you don’t get along with a lot of people.”
Eren paused, tilting his head. “Yeah.”
“Who the hell let you be a teacher?”
“That,” Eren said, “is a really good question. But I’m not so bad at teaching, I think. I don’t know, it’s different.”
“Hmm.” Levi didn’t seem convinced.
“It’s really not so bad,” Eren said, with a shrug. “You don’t seem the teacher type, either, by the way.”
“That’s why I’m not a teacher.”
“Fair point. So what do you do?”
“I write.”
“No shit? That’s pretty cool, actually. Writing’s always been a hobby, but I never seriously considered, you know, writing books for a living. What kind of stuff do you write?”
“Murder mysteries, mostly,” Levi replied with a small shrug.
“Oh,” Eren said, deflating a little. “I don’t really read those. Well, except for this one series—Blood, Guts, and Justice—have you heard of those books?”
“I would hope so,” Levi said casually. “Seeing as I wrote them.”
Eren almost jumped out of his seat. “WHAT.”
“Hush, would you?” Levi growled, tensing and looking around, and Eren realized sheepishly that some heads had turned their way at his outburst.
Eren brought his voice down to a loud whisper. “Holy shit, holy shit, you? Really? You wrote Blood, Guts, and Justice?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
“Holy shit, I’m meeting the author of Blood, Guts, and Justice,” Eren almost squeaked, heart racing. Was this how people felt when they ran into a celebrity in a grocery store? Fervently, he sent a mental thank you to Mikasa and Armin for dragging him here. “Is this even real?”
“Oh, calm down—”
“Dude, no, listen,” he said. Levi had to understand how freaking awesome this was for him. “I love your books. I mean, I don’t usually go for the whole murder mystery and crime thing. I’ve read some Agatha Christie, but—anyway, one of my friends introduced me to you and just—wow, I fell in love,” he babbled.
“…Thanks,” Levi said slowly. “So, what do you write, then?”
Eren was disappointed that Levi was diverting the topic so quickly, but he was forced to acknowledge that Levi probably just didn’t like talking about himself. It made sense, considering even the ‘about the author’ sections of his books were always sadly lacking.
And as much as Eren would love to talk about Levi’s work, he wasn’t that rude, so he answered, “I write fantasy stories! I’m a sucker for fantasy. Like, have you heard of the Ranger’s Apprentice series? It’s my favorite.” He let out a happy sigh. “I love those books.”
“Eh.” Levi shrugged a little. “I’m not too big on fantasy.”
“Wow, where’s your inner child?” Eren asked, pouting.
“Dead,” Levi said. “I killed him.”
Eren leveled him with a flat look, and Levi rolled his eyes and said, “Just because I don’t usually read fantasy doesn’t mean I have no concept of fun.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever,” Eren said. “Man, this is so cool, though. I had no idea you lived in this area. How long have you been doing NaNo? This is my fourth year.”
“Hmm.” Levi narrowed his eyes in thought. “This year will be my eighth.”
“Damn,” Eren said. “How many times have you won?”
“Six. There was one bad year. You?”
Eren grinned at him. “I’m three for three.”
Levi was actually impressed, and Eren winked at him.
“When I put my mind to something, I get it done.”
“…Right.”
“So, do you know what you’re writing this year?” Eren asked.
Levi hesitated. “Well—”
“Levi! I see you’ve made a friend.”
Levi groaned. “Fuck off, Hanji.”
“Ouch. I hope you haven’t been putting this poor kid through your abuse.”
“Um, I’m Eren—”
“Don’t worry, our friendship hasn’t reached that stage yet,” Levi said, speaking over him.
Hanji smiled at Eren. “It’s nice to meet you, Eren. I’m Hanji, and I was talking earlier, but I guess neither of you were listening.”
“Oh!” Eren flushed. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Hanji said, flapping her hand. “Making friends is great, too.” She plopped down next to Levi, who was looking increasingly displeased by the moment. “So, do you know what you’re writing yet this month?”
“I’m actually not sure yet,” Eren admitted. “I usually just make it up as I go.”
Hanji grinned.
“No—” Levi started.
“You should write a zombie apocalypse story like me and Levi!” she said, flinging her arm around Levi.
“Fuck you—”
“Levi, I thought you said you didn’t do the whole fantasy thing!” Eren said, his smile marring his accusatory tone.
“I don’t. Hanji challenged me to.”
“Ooh, so you’re the type that doesn’t back down from a challenge. We have a lot in common.”
“That’s right!” Hanji said. “Our little Levi can’t resist a dare.”
“‘Little’—”
“Anyway, you should join in, Eren. It’ll be fun.”
“You know what, I think I will,” Eren said. “It sounds fun.”
“Awesome, awesome!”
Hanji was grinning from ear to ear, one arm still slung across Levi’s shoulders. Levi was glaring at Eren and Hanji in turns. It was quite a picture.
“Are you published, too?” Eren asked, wondering how the pair had even met. Levi and Hanji seemed like polar opposites.
“Oh, no, no, nothing like that,” Hanji said. “Though I have been working on a book for a few years.” She gasped. “Maybe…do you want to hear about it?!”
“No—” Levi started.
“I’d love to hear about it!” Eren said.
“You don’t know what you’re getting into,” Levi warned as Hanji’s already-wide grin threatened to take over her face.
“Shut up, Levi! Eren, I’d love to tell you all about it tonight, but I need to be a good host right now, so—rain check?”
“Sure,” Eren agreed.
“Awesome! Have fun, you two. Bye!” And with that, she bounced off.
“Well. She seems nice.”
“…Whirlwind,” Levi said.
“Huh?”
“She’s like a whirlwind,” he clarified. “Also, you didn’t have to say yes just to be polite. She’s used to dealing with me, after all. You’re going to regret accepting that offer.”
“Maybe I’ll find it fascinating.”
“Maybe you’ll be questioning your sanity when she talks your ear off all night with no breaks.”
“…You’re exaggerating,” Eren said, sounding uncertain to his own ears. Levi didn’t sound like he was joking, but it was hard to tell.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Eren dismissed. He’d worry about it later. “You have to admit, listening to this stuff is really interesting. At least for me it is. I love hearing about people’s stories and ideas.”
“Damn, I can see it now. You and Hanji are going to become best friends and join forces to make my life miserable.”
“Nah,” Eren said. “I’ve already decided that we’ll be best friends. Can’t promise I won’t occasionally join forces with Hanji, though. I feel like not many people can ruffle you, so I can’t pass up this opportunity.”
Levi stared at him. “You’re horrible.”
Eren just laughed and prodded Levi to tell him about how he met Hanji—apparently, they’d been friends since grade school.
“I feel like anyone who knows her,” Eren paused, trying to put words to his thoughts. “All their best stories would involve her.”
“Oh, God,” Levi groaned, and somehow Eren could tell he was agreeing with him.
Talking to Levi was easy. He wasn’t sure why—maybe it was because Levi had started off being rude, and Eren knew he could be rude right back and Levi wouldn’t mind. Not that he was being intentionally rude or anything, but Eren felt comfortable with saying whatever he was thinking. It was nice.
Hours passed with hardly an awkward lull in conversation, and Eren didn’t even realize how late it was until Mikasa and Armin appeared by his table.
“Hey, Eren,” Armin said. “Ready to go?”
“Oh—yeah.” Eren stood up, and then looked awkwardly at Levi. He could leave and end their communications now. Levi would just be the cool guy he met at a NaNoWriMo kick off party and never crossed paths with again. That would be easiest. Eren wasn’t really good at holding onto friends, besides Mikasa and Armin.
But—he kind of wanted to keep talking to Levi.
“Do you want to—um, exchange contact details and stuff?” he asked.
Levi shrugged, pulling out his phone. “Sure. If we don’t, Hanji will hunt you down, anyway.”
Mikasa looked mildly alarmed. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I met the host,” Eren said, inputting his number to Levi’s phone. “She was going to tell me about her book and stuff. Also, um, Levi, this is Mikasa and Armin, you two, this is Levi.” As they exchanged polite ‘nice to meet you’s, he quickly texted himself so he would have Levi’s number, then handed the phone back. “Anyway, I guess we’re going now. Bye!”
Armin beamed at him as they left. “Now aren’t you glad you came tonight?”
“Shut up,” Eren said. “I guess that wasn’t so bad.”
“Good. Next time we can go to a write-in!”
“What?” Eren spluttered. “How did we get to that?”
“Come on, maybe you can see your new friend again.”
Eren frowned. He hadn’t actually thought about seeing Levi again, but now that he did, it wasn’t a bad idea. Still, when it came to writing, he usually preferred to just stay in his own corner, except for the occasional word war with his friends.
Well, maybe he could ask him later if he had a Skype or something. That’d be nice.
For now, though, he had a zombie apocalypse to think about.
Hmm…who would survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Mikasa and Annie. No doubt.
With a smile, Eren started planning out his two main characters. Michaela and Anna seemed like good names.
DAY ONE
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:00 AM, Nov 1
HAPPY NANOWRIMO!
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:02 AM, Nov 1
why aren’t you in bed?
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:02 AM, Nov 1
GETTING A HEAD START. :)
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:03 AM, Nov 1
do you always text in all caps?
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:04 AM, Nov 1
I was being excited, geez.
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:07 AM, Nov 1
you have to be at school tomorrow, you know.
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:08 AM, Nov 1
I know, I know. Don’t worry about it.
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:10 AM, Nov 1
someone has to.
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:10 AM, Nov 1
Aww.
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:10 AM, Nov 1
shut up.
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:11 AM, Nov 1
I didn’t actually say anything.
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:13 AM, Nov 1
go to bed.
To: Levi
From: Eren
12:16 AM, Nov 1
Yessir. After another thousand words. (Just pretend I went to bed, I’ll play along.) Good night. :)
To: Eren
From: Levi
12:16 AM, Nov 1
…
DAY ONE, SEVERAL HOURS LATER
“So I maybe regret staying up until 2 AM writing,” Eren said around a yawn.
“You’re a complete idiot,” Levi said.
“I was on a roll! I couldn’t just stop,” Eren protested. He’d tried to sleep, he really had…and then he’d gotten up again five minutes later to continue writing.
“Did you Skype call me just to argue?”
“Hey, you’re the one who started with the name calling,” Eren pointed out with a huff. “I was wondering how you’re doing and if you wanted to do a word war or something.”
“‘How am I doing’ how am I doing or ‘how am I doing on NaNo’ how am I doing?” Levi asked.
Eren couldn’t help smiling. “Both.”
“Well, then I’m doing fine and I am currently at four thousand words.”
“SEVEN THOUSAND!” Eren shouted into his mic. “Get on my level.”
“Holy shit,” Levi said. “You don’t have to yell.”
“Yeah, okay, but did you notice my subtle and clever jab at your height just now?”
“…Dumbass.”
“Sorry not sorry. Seriously though. Word war?”
“I like to write consistently,” Levi replied. “It’s good to have a rhythm.”
“So that’s a no, then,” Eren said. “I like to have a strong start myself—wait, so you don’t do sprints, word wars, nothing? Where’s the fun in that? Word wars are a tradition with me, Armin, and Mikasa. They’re way fun. Or maybe I’m just too competitive. I mean, yeah, it’s about yourself and beating your personal bests, but we all know it’s also about beating your friends, right?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Levi answered.
“That’s why I could teach you!”
“Pass.”
“You’re a real party pooper, you know.”
“So are you. You said so yourself,” Levi said.
“Wow, maybe we’re meant to be.”
“You’re a dumbass.”
“I don’t hear a denial!” Eren said, singsong, thinking in the back of his mind that he had to be really tired to be saying all this.
“That’s because you’re a dumbass,” Levi replied, still, Eren noted, not an explicit denial.
“Well this dumbass is three thousand words ahead of you,” he said, smug.
“I’m not racing you.”
Eren yawned. “No fun,” he mumbled. “Fine, then I’m going to get some shut-eye. Have fun writing at your slow and steady pace.”
“I hope you know how that fable ends.”
“Yeah, yeah, good night, Tortoise.”
“Good night, you dumbass Hare.”
“Pleasant,” Eren said, and the last thing he saw before he ended the call was Levi’s smirk.
When he woke up, there was a text message waiting for him from Levi.
It said, 9548. get on my level.
Eren stared at the message.
This was the truth. Levi was actually more childish than Eren.
(Then again, that was debatable, as Eren’s next thought was that he totally shouldn’t have slept early, because then he wouldn’t be behind.)
DAY THREE
It was Sunday, the third day of NaNoWriMo, when Eren and Levi decided to meet at Starbucks to consume copious amounts of coffee as they wrote. Eren wasn’t sure how it would turn out, but he figured it would be better than a proper write-in with a bunch of people. Plus, meeting Levi in person presented Eren with another opportunity, which he brought with him in a huge bag along with his laptop.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Levi said when he saw them.
“Nope,” Eren said, setting the bag of books down. “You’re going to sign them. All of them. Please?”
Levi’s sigh moved his whole body. “I’d better not see these on eBay or some shit.”
Eren gasped, grabbing one of the books and clutching it to his chest. “As if I could ever part with these!”
“Quit the dramatics,” Levi said. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m sincere.”
Levi rolled his eyes and insulted him some more, but he signed all the books in the end.
Happily, Eren settled down and opened his laptop, and the rest of the afternoon passed by pleasantly.
“So, that was fun,” Eren said. “Want to do it again sometime?”
Levi didn’t even point out that they’d hardly exchanged any words the whole time. He just said, “Sure.”
DAY SIX
“I can’t believe you’re showing a movie in class just so you can have time to write at work,” Levi said.
“It’s Freedom Writers!” Eren said. “Everyone should watch that movie.”
“It’s cheesy.”
“Sometimes we all need cheesy, happy things in our lives,” Eren retorted. “I mean, sure, we have Dead Poets Society, and that’s a good movie, but it’s also seriously depressing.”
“This is irrelevant to what we were talking about.”
“Right, well, don’t question my teaching methods.”
“Eren—”
“Shhhh.”
DAY TEN
“This is it,” Eren said. “I’m stuck. It’s over.”
“Must you always be so dramatic?” Levi asked.
“Just go on without me!” Eren cried.
“Shut up, idiot. Quit whining and write.”
“But I don’t know what to write.”
“Then figure it out,” Levi snapped. “Or, hell, don’t. This is NaNo. Just write.”
Eren made a noncommittal noise, then winced as Levi sighed loudly into the mic.
“Ouch—you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“You’re not giving up now are you?” Levi asked, ignoring him. “We’ve barely passed the first week.”
“No, no…I just get stuck sometimes. It happens. That’s why I like to get a strong start.”
“Hm. As long as you don’t quit on me.”
“Aw, you do care.” He said it teasingly, but his stomach was doing flips. He’d always written for fun, and, yeah he’d won every year he’d participated in NaNoWriMo so far, but now he felt pressured to finish. He didn’t want to just not let himself down, he didn’t want to let Levi down, either.
Maybe that thought should have motivated Eren back into writing, but all it did was make the writer’s block Eren was currently facing seem ever bigger and more imposing. What the hell was he supposed to write that would impress Levi?
“Eren?” Levi asked, and Eren realized that he’d replied…something. Eren didn’t remember.
“I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight,” Eren said. “I’m really tired. G’night.”
Levi looked for a moment like he wanted to say something else, but in the end he just nodded. “Sleep well.”
DAY THIRTEEN
Eren had been kind of avoiding Levi. Just a little bit. He texted him sometimes throughout the day, but he hadn’t been logging onto Skype.
He was still stuck, but he didn’t want to admit it, not to Levi. Eren had been sitting at twenty three thousand words for the past few days. Meanwhile, Levi had already broken forty thousand. It was shameful.
He’d already dedicated a day looking up articles on beating back writer’s block and getting frustrated when they didn’t work, but he knew it was because he was just looking for ways to procrastinate. Trying to use Write or Die, as Armin had suggested, just left him feeling more discouraged. Plus, Eren was a horrible person and totally not above cheating the program, completely defeating the purpose.
He’d even finally taken Hanji up on her offer to talk to him about her book. Levi was right—she did literally talk straight through the night and into the next morning, and she didn’t even stop until Eren said something along the lines of “I really have to go or I’m going to be late for work” and hightailed it out of that 24-hour diner. Eren swore his ears were sore just from all that listening. And—no offense to Hanji—her descriptions had been interesting at first, but by the end they had become pretty repetitive.
He deliberately ignored the smug i told you so text he received from Levi halfway through the day.
The point was, Eren hadn’t been writing and he knew it, and Levi knew it, and he made sure to say so the moment Eren reluctantly logged onto Skype after Levi sent him another text, an unsubtle one saying that he hadn’t been online recently.
“Eren, I know you haven’t written in a few days now.”
“I know, I know, please don’t remind me,” Eren groaned. “I’m still stuck.”
“What are you doing right now?”
“Uhh.”
“Eren…”
“What?”
“What are you doing right now?”
“Grading tests?”
“If you’re going to lie, be more convincing.”
“Okay, okay, playing Pokémon, shut up,” Eren said.
“Idiot.”
“Come on, I really am stuck! What’s wrong with taking a break?”
“Once you stop writing, it’s hard to start again,” Levi pointed out.
“I’ll figure it out, now shut up, I’m about to face a Gym leader.”
“Eren.”
Eren sighed and put his game down. “I know. I’m just. I’m stuck.”
“Yes, so you keep saying. Now, why are you stuck?”
“I don’t know! It just happens sometimes. Don’t you ever get stuck?”
“Of course I do,” Levi said reasonably. “But you can’t let that stop you, especially during NaNo.”
Eren was silent.
“So, what’s wrong? Do you not know where your plot is going? Or maybe you think what you’ve written so far is bad?”
Eren was stunned that Levi had figured it out so quickly. “I-it’s bad,” he admitted.
“Forget about that,” Levi said immediately.
“What?”
“Forget about how good or bad it is. This is a rough draft, it’s fifty thousand plus words in thirty days, of course it’s going to be shit. What matters isn’t how good it is, what matters is you do it. You made a commitment, one that requires discipline and dedication. Can you keep that commitment? That’s the point of NaNo. But you can’t win if you waste time worrying about how good or bad your writing is. Besides, who are you trying to impress?”
You, Eren thought, but didn’t say it.
“You’re right,” he said instead. “It’s not like anyone’s going to read it, anyway.”
“Well, at least not until after you’ve revised,” Levi said.
“What.”
“I’m very interested in knowing what happens to Michaela and Anna,” he added, deadpan.
“I, um,” Eren started. I’ve never actually shown anyone my writing before. Well, sometimes he shared small snippets of his choosing. But never a full story.
“You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to,” Levi said. “Especially if it’s going to make you all goddamn self-conscious again. Just forget it and write, okay? No one has to read it.”
“Yeah,” Eren said, but his voice must have betrayed his hesitance, because Levi sighed softly.
“I want to see you succeed, Eren.”
“I-I know,” Eren said. “I won’t let you down.”
Levi smiled a little bit at that. “Don’t worry about that. Just do your best.”
Levi was being…really gentle. It gave Eren warm and fuzzy feelings, but also, he wished Levi would go back to insulting him like he normally would. He didn’t want Levi to think that he had to be coddled. He’d managed to win NaNoWriMo for three years just fine on his own, okay.
“Hey, Eren,” Levi said. “You got that?”
“I got it,” Eren said. “You know, I think I’m actually getting some ideas now.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, I—shit,” he said, noticing the time. “Okay, I really need to go grade those tests.”
“You mean the ones you should have been grading while you were playing Pokémon?” Levi asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Shut up, jerk. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? And—thanks. For the advice and stuff.”
“Don’t mention it,” Levi said. “Have fun grading.”
“Ugh, yeah. Totally. Bye.”
DAY FOURTEEN
“HEY, LEVI!” Eren shouted as soon as his call was answered.
Levi cursed and glared at Eren. “Hello, Eren,” he said once he’d recomposed himself. “You seem…chipper today.”
“I’VE WRITTEN TWELVE THOUSAND WORDS TODAY!” Eren told him enthusiastically. “ALSO, I’VE HAD A LOT OF CAFFEINE.”
“Eren, what the fuck.”
DAY FIFTEEN
Honestly, the reason Eren never considered getting published was because he figured he’d never be good enough.
When he told Levi this, Levi said, “I thought you said you could do anything you put your mind to.”
“Yeah, well. This is different,” Eren muttered, wishing Levi hadn’t asked him about it, because it was embarrassing. “I don’t know. I just write for fun, right? It’s not like it’s any good.”
“Who told you that?”
“Well—no one, but you kind of just know, don’t you? I’ll read a book and it’ll be leagues ahead of where I’ll ever be.”
“I can’t say that because I’ve never read your writing,” Levi pointed out and Eren sighed, drumming his fingers on his desk.
Honestly, a part of him wanted to show Levi his writing. Really, really wanted to. But the other part was way too terrified.
It was just. Eren was very forward about most things. Not a lot could daunt him. But writing was personal—intimate. His writing was a part of himself, a secret part he’d always been too embarrassed to share with anyone. To show it to someone was to bare his soul, leaving himself totally exposed. He wasn’t sure if he could do that.
But he really did want to show Levi.
“I, I did revise my old NaNo stories,” he stuttered. “If you want to read them, I mean, I guess…”
“Only if you’re okay with it,” Levi said.
“Yeah, it’s fine, no big deal,” Eren said in a rush. He was completely failing at the acting nonchalant thing, and he knew Levi could see right through him, but he opened his email anyway to send the documents to Levi.
He could actually feel his stomach drop as he hit send.
“You know,” he said, “I, uh, actually have to go now. Uh. Armin. Mikasa. Yeah. Bye, talk to you later!”
He ended the call while Levi was still in the middle of saying bye, and practically slammed his laptop shut.
“Fuck,” he whispered.
DAY EIGHTEEN
Eren, in a completely predictable move, avoided Skype for the weekend.
He was just. Really jittery and nervous just thinking about Levi reading his writing.
Even his friends noticed something was off with him, but on the bright side, he got a lot of writing done that weekend because Eren tried to cover up his anxiety by challenging them to a whole lot of word wars. Either it worked, or Mikasa and Armin were too considerate to pry. Eren was grateful either way.
But he knew that he couldn’t avoid the problem (was there even a problem?) forever. Plus, Eren hated avoidance as a solution, and he didn’t want to be a hypocrite, so he decided to just suck it up and talk to Levi.
“I want you to know,” Levi said when Eren picked up his call, “that I really did try not to read them. But I was curious.”
“I—that’s okay,” Eren said, even though he could already feel his face heating up.
“You’re a good writer, Eren.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” he muttered.
Levi rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t make you feel better by lying, you dimwit. Now, I’m telling you as someone who normally doesn’t give a shit about fantasy: Your plots are interesting and your writing isn’t bad. Of course, there’s room for improvement, but you don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Would I be fucking saying it if I didn’t?”
“I just. I mean. Thank you,” Eren stammered, and he still felt hot with embarrassment, but he also felt a more pleasant warmth, the kind that came from being praised by someone whose opinion really, really mattered to you.
Though he wasn’t sure why he cared so much. Probably, he decided, it was because he really looked up to Levi as a writer. He wrote one of his favorite series—oh shit.
“Oh, shit,” he said out loud.
“What’s the matter?”
“I forgot to tell Armin that you’re the author of Blood, Guts, and Justice! I can’t believe it! He’s the one who introduced me to you in the first place! Levi, I am the worst friend. I am horrible. I have to tell him right now.”
He whipped out his phone and called Armin.
“I think you’re making a big deal out of this,” Levi said.
“You don’t understand!” Eren said. “He—hi, Armin!”
“Eren, what’s up?”
“Uh, well, I have something important to tell you,” Eren said.
“What’s going on?”
“Well, you know that guy I met at the kick-off party?”
“Sure,” Armin said. “You’ve been Skyping him like every day.”
“Right. Well. He’s the author of Blood, Guts, and Justice.”
Silence.
Then, “WHAT.”
Eren winced, pulling the phone back from his ear.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”
“I, uh, I’m sorry, I guess it…slipped my mind?” Eren said.
“SLIPPED YOUR MIND!” Even with the phone an arm length away, Eren could hear Armin loud and clear. “ARE YOU GOING TO INTRODUCE US? PLEASE, EREN.”
“Hey, uh, Armin wants to meet you,” Eren said to Levi, who was stifling a chuckle.
“ARE YOU TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW?” Armin demanded.
“We could go to Starbucks this weekend,” Levi said, and Eren was thrown when he saw that he was genuinely smiling at their antics. He decided that Levi should smile more. A lot more.
“Starbucks this Saturday?” Eren said, bringing the phone back to his ear and nodding at Levi.
“Five days,” Armin muttered. “Fine. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until now.”
“I forgot, honest!” Eren said.
“How could you forget something like that?!”
“I don’t know! At first it was like, ahhh, oh, my God, but then we talked about other stuff and then I kind of started thinking of him as a generally cool person instead of just the cool author of BGJ, and then I forgot to tell you.”
He remembered halfway through saying it that Levi could hear every word, and he avoided looking at his computer screen at all costs until he ended his call with Armin.
“Not a word, you smug bastard,” he said, pointing at Levi and trying to fight down a blush.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi said.
DAY TWENTY-TWO
“The quality of my writing…is getting progressively worse,” Eren said.
“Suck it up and keep writing.”
“I mean, I’ve already passed fifty thousand. Technically I don’t have to write anymore.”
“You still need to finish the story,” Levi pointed out.
Eren groaned. “I’m really tempted to just write, ‘And then the zombies killed them all and then they all died because there were no more brains to eat,’ and be done with it.”
“You’re such an idiot,” Levi said, and Eren chuckled. “Seriously. Why do I even talk to you?”
“’Cause I make your life interesting,” Eren said cheekily.
“Well, I can’t deny that,” Levi said.
Eren didn’t respond, surprised and pleased.
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Levi said. “You’re not that special. I still have Hanji.”
“I know you secretly like me better. Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Eren said with a wink.
“She wouldn’t believe you,” Levi said, “because she knows it’s not true.”
Eren waggled his eyebrows. “Want to test that?”
“Stop trying to procrastinate. You’re supposed to be writing.”
“Damn, you caught me.”
“Right, now get back to writing.”
“Ughhhhh.”
DAY TWENTY-THREE
“What if he thinks I’m annoying?”
“He won’t.”
“What if, though?”
“He won’t. Calm down.” Eren pushed Armin into Starbucks. “He agreed to meet, didn’t he?”
“Maybe he’s just being polite,” Armin fretted, clutching his notebook and a book to his chest, the first in the Blood, Guts, and Justice series.
Eren snorted. “If he didn’t want to, he would have said no, believe me. Look, there he is. Hey, Levi!”
He trotted over to Levi’s table, Armin trailing after him.
“This is Armin.”
“I know,” Levi said. “We met the first night.”
“Don’t be difficult,” Eren said, rolling his eyes. “Become reacquainted, then.”
“I-I’m a big fan of your books,” Armin stammered. “I was, I was wondering if you could sign this?”
He held the book out, and Levi took it.
“Only one book,” he said. “How considerate.”
“Oh, God, Eren, did you bring all of his books for him to sign?”
“Shut up, Armin,” Eren hissed. “Levi didn’t mind, right, Levi?”
Levi said nothing, smiling to himself as he signed Armin’s book.
“I don’t like that silence, Levi.”
“Sorry, did you say something?”
“You—!” Eren spluttered.
“Anyway, forget that!” Armin said, then went red. “Um, I just mean. I’ve been following your series from the first book. And I kind of stalked your blog and read the standalones you’ve published under a pseudonym…”
Standalones published under a pseudonym? Eren hadn’t known about those. He resolved to look them up later. But for now…
“Armin, Armin, that’s creepy.”
“It’s kind of cute,” Levi said, smirking, and Armin went redder (somehow) and Eren blushed, too.
He wished Armin would stop being an adorable, blushing fanboy. He was just a little bit jealous because—well, okay, he maybe had a crush on Levi. Christ.
Eren kicked himself for not realizing sooner. And also for being jealous and unfair. After all, Armin loved Levi—Levi’s work, his work!—just as much as Eren did, was the one to introduce Eren to his books in the first place, so he really needed to stop being a kid already.
But if he maybe suggested that they shut up and get to working on their NaNo stories like they were supposed to, then no one had to know why.
DAY TWENTY-FOUR
To: Levi
From: Eren
2:23 PM, Nov 24
I know we were just at Starbucks yesterday, but would you be opposed to going again today?
To: Eren
From: Levi
2:25 PM, Nov 24
i don’t really mind, but is there any particular reason for this?
To: Levi
From: Eren
2:26 PM, Nov 24
Ughhh I just can’t write in my house today? The atmosphere’s not right, I’m just not feeling it, you know?
To: Eren
From: Levi
2:30 PM, Nov 24
how do you feel about just coming to my place? we can get takeout instead of drowning ourselves in overpriced coffee. assuming you haven’t eaten lunch yet either.
To: Levi
From: Eren
2:32 PM, Nov 24
OMG if you don’t mind? That would be great! I can pick up food on the way if you want. (And yes, we’re the same in our unhealthy habits.)
To: Eren
From: Levi
2:33 PM, Nov 24
that’s fine. anything that’s not finger food.
To: Levi
From: Eren
2:33 PM, Nov 24
Yeah, yeah, I got it, ya neat freak.
Levi sent Eren his address, and Eren had to take a few breaths to calm himself. This wasn’t going to be awkward.
It wasn’t awkward. It was great. Except for the part where Eren got distracted by Levi’s impressive book collection, and then by his equally impressive movie collection, which somehow led to them watching the 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie instead of actually writing. Although all of that was pretty great in Eren’s opinion.
What wasn’t great was the way Levi said, “Well, we were wholly unproductive. Let’s never do that again.”
He was smiling, though, and Eren was about ninety five percent sure he was joking. But that didn’t stop his stomach from twisting nervously as he laughed in agreement while thinking, No, let’s do that all the time.
DAY THIRTY
“Come on, Eren, you have to finish the story.”
“I’m trying, goddammit. I swear I’m almost there.”
If Eren was being totally honest, he was stalling in his writing, because—well, because the whole reason he and Levi were talking was because of NaNoWriMo, and Eren didn’t know what was going to happen now that the month was up. And a part of him thought, foolishly, that maybe if he didn’t finish his story, he and Levi didn’t have to be finished, either.
“You know, this is my longest novel yet,” Eren commented. “Also, I think I should really try plotting next year, or else these stories might drag on forever.”
“You know I always go in with a clear ending in mind, but there’s nothing wrong with winging it every once in a while,” Levi said.
That was true. Eren thought about all the ways he and Levi differed, and how they seemed to mesh perfectly in spite of these differences.
“Hey, um, Levi,” Eren said.
“Yes?”
“We’ll still, like—talk and stuff, right? Even after NaNo is over?”
There was a pause. “If that’s what you’ve been acting weird about all day, I’m going to hang up on you right now.”
Well, not only that. “Yeah. Sorry, it’s kind of stupid, isn’t it?”
“It’s very stupid,” Levi said, and Eren winced. “Well, it’s true. Of course we’ll keep talking, idiot. I don’t know what the hell we’ve been doing all month, if not becoming friends.”
And flirting, Eren thought a bit desperately. Did you catch that bit?
“I don’t see any reason why we’d just stop talking,” Levi continued.
“Well, if you didn’t catch on this whole month,” Eren said, “I’m kind of bad at the whole friends deal.”
“Yes, you said that the first night. But I don’t see what the problem is, you’re a complete joy to be around.”
“That wasn’t a very Levi thing to say. Was that sarcasm?”
Eren squinted at Levi, who smirked at him.
“Well, I can’t say it’s not nice to know someone with an attitude that’s just as disagreeable as mine.”
“Ah, there’s the Levi-flavored compliment I know and love.” Eren absolutely did not stutter on that last word.
“Okay, well,” Eren said, haltingly, a few minutes later. “I’m done.”
“Finally,” Levi said. “Now, I have something to ask you. I was going to wait until the next time we saw each other in person, but since you’re being an idiot today—”
“Hey!”
“Will you go out with me?”
“I—what?” Eren asked, bringing his hand up to his headphones, as if they’d somehow transformed Levi’s words. He struggled for something to say. “Are you really asking me that after calling me an idiot?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, okay. I just, um—”
“It’s a pretty simple question, Eren, and I won’t be hurt if you said no.”
“No, you’d be heartbroken,” Eren said, almost without thinking. “I mean! It’s not that I don’t want to.” He obviously very much wanted to, but now a nervousness seized him. “It’s just that I…kind of suck at relationships? You’ll probably get tired of me eventually, seriously, I’m pretty sure the only reason Armin and Mikasa are still around is because we’ve literally known each other since we were in diapers. They’re some kind of weird exception. You haven’t seen how I can get, Levi—”
“We went through NaNoWriMo together,” Levi interrupted. “I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen you at your worst.”
Eren laughed, startled. “I guess there’s some truth in that statement.” He knew he could get worse, and Levi probably knew it as well, but going near crazy over trying to finish writing a novel in thirty days was pretty bad, too.
“Honestly, Eren, it’s like you’re looking for reasons not to do this, and I really wasn’t expecting this from you. It’s like how you don’t want to try and get anything published.”
Eren ducked his head. Levi had been trying to convince him about that, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he conceded. Something about Levi made him think he could do it.
And if that was the case, then…maybe he could try this relationship thing, too. If it was Levi, could they really fail?
“I would,” Eren said, “love to go out with you, Levi.”
Levi smiled at him, his rare little smile. “Good. Then maybe you’d let me take you on a date tomorrow?”
“As long as it’s not coffee,” Eren said, returning the smile. “I think I’ve had far too much of that this month.”
Levi’s smile widened, and Eren would be lying if he said it didn’t make him lose his breath, just a little. “I’ll see what I can do.”