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“I lost my virginity on that bed.”
“Seriously?” Caitlin asked. “Wow- Wait, just now? Did you just lose your virginity?”
“What?” Stiles said. “No. Over the summer.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding. “So I’m guessing you know whose party this is then.”
“Yeah, but it’s not Derek’s,” Stiles said, picking at the label of his beer bottle. “This is Derek’s loft, but he’s out of town and some assholes from school decided to take it over.”
“I’m guessing Derek’s your boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” he said before shaking his head. “Well, no. I mean, I haven’t seen him in about a month, but we’re still…”
He trailed off, not knowing how to explain it to a perfect stranger. The only thing he knew clearly was how to help Scott and Kira break into the police station, but this party was just something he couldn’t get into. It was at Derek’s loft and that brought up a lot of memories. It also brought up that Derek was going to come back to his loft covered in garbage and other peoples’ smells and he didn’t want that for Derek.
Especially since a guy and a girl were rolling around on their – on Derek’s bed.
“Come on,” Caitlin said, taking his free hand in hers.
“Are we dancing again?” he asked, standing up and following her down the stairs.
“No, we’re doing something better.”
She led him through the thick throng of people, finally coming to Derek’s bed pushed into the corner. The couple was slowly taking each other’s clothes off when Caitlin grabbed the guy’s arm, pulling him off the girl.
“Hey, the guy who owns this place has some kind of foot fungus,” she said. “And he doesn’t sleep with socks on.”
This seemed to be all they needed to hear, looking at Caitlin in horror before tripping over themselves as they got off the bed. Caitlin sat down on top of the comforter, smiling triumphantly before patting the spot next to her.
“Thanks,” he said, sitting down.
“Well, I couldn’t let them taint holy ground.”
“‘Holy ground’, seriously?” he laughed. “I feel like losing your virginity is the opposite of that.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” she shrugged. “What was it like?”
“My first time?”
“Yeah, was it good?”
No. It had been amazing. It was one of his favorite memories, it was something he always went back to when he was feeling down or helpless or lost. Because Derek had loved him and had made him feel so safe and good and wanted.
“More than good?” Caitlin asked.
He nodded since he was lost for words, emotions blocking his throat and preventing him from speaking. Stiles placed a hand against his chest, his palm placed over the key that was tucked away under his shirt.
“I didn’t have that,” she said. “Just some guy in someone else’s bedroom at a stupid party. Kinda like this one actually. I wanted to make Emily’s first time a good one though; I wanted to make her feel like Derek made you feel.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
A heavy silence hung between them then, seeming even louder than the pounding music and people talking and singing off-key. He didn’t know why he had even come here. He could have just dropped Scott and Kira off and then passed out candy on the front porch with his dad. But this was Derek’s home and he felt like he needed to be here to chaperone so no one would ruin it too badly.
“Why’d he leave?”
“Who?”
“Derek,” Caitlin said. “Why’d he leave? Is his grandma sick? I had a boyfriend and his grandma lived in Colorado and she got sick.”
“No, no sick grandma,” he said, shaking his head.
“He switch schools?”
“No, he’s not a student anywhere,” Stiles said. “He’s older; he’ll be 24 in about a week.”
“Nice, is he cute?”
That definitely wasn’t the term he’d use for Derek. In fact, he wouldn’t even be talking about Derek to a complete stranger if he weren’t starting to feel buzzed over beer and techno music. And Caitlin was so easy to talk to and she didn’t know anything about all the supernatural drama shit in his life. It was kinda nice to just vent to someone.
He took his phone from his pocket, going through his photos until he found the one he wanted. It had been taken in early August when he and Derek had gone out of town to see some new movie that was only showing in select theaters. Of course they hadn’t actually watched the movie, having lived up to a thousand clichés by Derek kissing his neck in the back of the theater and pulling him onto his lap.
The picture had been taken before the movie, Derek sitting in the still well-lit theater, reading an ad that had been broadcasted on the big screen. It was a perfect profile photo, showing his sharp nose and high cheekbones and dark stubble. Stiles showed Caitlin the phone and she squinted at the screen before her eyes widened.
“Nice,” she praised, patting his shoulder. “He’s gorgeous.”
“I know,” Stiles said, giving the photo one last look before putting it back in his pocket.
“You know there are other hot older guys out there, right?”
“They’re not Derek,” Stiles said, his voice sounding childish even to his own ears. “Besides he’s pretty much ruined me for anyone else.”
“Oh that’s not true,” she said, slapping him on the arm. “Other guys are good at sex too.”
“Yeah, but-,” he stopped himself, because he was never going to be buzzed enough that he mentioned knotting to someone.
“There are plenty of uncut dicks in the world.”
And that wasn’t what he had meant either, even though Derek’s dick was uncut and foreskin always held this weird fascination for him. He let her have it though; just nodding his head along because arguing about Derek’s dick in comparison to other guys’ dicks wasn’t going to end well.
“How old are you?” she asked.
“Sixteen.”
“You’ll move on.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You will,” she pressed. “You have your entire life to find the One, just because some guy made an impression doesn’t mean he was it for you.”
“Derek is the One though,” Stiles said, still with no idea why he was telling a stranger all of this.
“Then why did he leave?”
And that was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Derek had told him why he needed to leave, had explained it in painstaking detail. Derek wanted kids and a family and Stiles was way too young to even think about wanting all that. Stiles made Derek selfish, he got that.
“Because he loves me.”
He couldn’t elaborate, that was the one thing he couldn’t do. What happened between him and Derek was just for them, some secret he never wanted to share with anyone. Others could look at them, sure. Others could see that they were a couple. But he didn’t want others knowing everything that made them up.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” he repeated.
“Yeah,” she said. “If you’re so sure of his love for you, then I am too.”
“You don’t think I’m too young to know when I’ve found the One?”
“Maybe, maybe not,” she shrugged. “Adults are always saying that in two years we should know what career we want for the rest of our lives, but in two years if we talk about getting married the lectures start. Everyone’s always like, ‘you’ll find someone else, you need to meet new people’, but fuck that. If some douchebag knows that accounting is his destiny, why can’t you know that Derek’s yours?”
Stiles just stared at her, his mouth hanging open and probably looking not very attractive. She was just smiling back at him, looking pleased with herself.
“You are the wisest drunk person I have ever met.”
“Thank you,” she said. “You should ditch this party and go get your man.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“Then go find him,” she said, grabbing his hand that was still gripping his keys after opening up their beers. “Oh, your key has phosphors on it.”
She held up the mystery key on his key ring, the tip of it glowing neon green.
“What are phosphors?”
“They’re any substance that luminesces,” she explained. “It’s in your teeth, your fingernails, laundry detergent. It’s also in this.” She tapped the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him. “It reacts to UV light, that’s why it glows.”
He took his keys back from her. “How’d I get phosphors on my key?”
“Have you been handling chemicals?”
“Nah, I don’t think I…”
Oh shit.
“I’m sorry,” he said, getting off the bed. “I’m sorry, I gotta go.”
“To get your man back?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, backing into the crowd. “I’ve gotta find Derek.”
“Well, good luck,” she said, lounging back on the bed. “I’ll guard your holy ground and make sure no one dirties it up.”
“Thanks,” he said quickly before rushing off into the crowd.
Except he wasn’t going to look for Derek, he needed to get to the school.