Work Text:
The entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time.
Desire isn't a mystery to Sherlock - after all, very few things are, and those things are not things so simple as want. Sherlock is intimately familiar with every kind of want.
want(v): to feel a need or desire for. synonyms: require, crave. (Revere. Worship.)
That's the part that's new to Sherlock. This feeling, it isn't want. It's… worse than that. He supposes that (if he were the kind of man with a favourable opinion on religion and religious texts and rules) one might say he covets.
He doesn't understand coveting.
covet(v): to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others.
He doesn't understand Watson.
Watson(proper n.): unwanted babysitter, companion, assistant, partner
(What could possibly come after partner? He's sure she'll show him. She's wonderful like that.) (He doesn't understand coveting Watson.)
For example: The Failure Box.
It would be so easy to think that Watson was exhilarated by the opportunity to best him, to trample him beneath her exquisite shoes... But that would be wrong, the idea so excruciatingly disgusting, he wishes he could pull his nervous system out through his fingertips just for having the thought.
He doesn't quite know what it is about Watson-and-cases that makes him feel like his skin is too small, but he does know that it's the closest to peace he will ever be.
So he lets Watson carry the most broken pieces of himself.
'A professional angel to perch on your shoulder,' MoriartyIrene had said.
Sherlock looks up, finds Watson in a heartbeat - she's lovely like that - always where he needs her, never where he puts her. She looks up too, in the next second, and smiles when she sees that he is looking.
<<Entry 1346; 20:34, 23/01/2014. Occurrence: Simultaneously sought-after eye contact. Environmental Conditions: Baseline. Stimuli: Undetected. Response: Typical (see entries 1-present). Conclusion: Requires further analysis>>
He clears with throat. Her smile now is different than before.
<<Entry 347; 20:35, 23/01/2014. Occurrence: Mood shift. Environmental Conditions: Baseline. Stimuli: Throat Clearing; Indicative of preparation to broach sentimental topic. Response: Smile #12 (Anticipatory) to Smile #34 (Indulgent). Conclusion: Requires further analysis.>>
'Professional Angel' - not even close.
"'You're not like a tree, where the roots have to end somewhere, you're more like a song on a policeman's radio'," Sherlock quotes.
"'These, our bodies, possessed by light'," she quotes back, returning her attention to an old case file, "'Tell me I'll never get used to it.'"
Sherlock knew she understood.
