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Chapter Text

Jihoon is very much aware that he made a thousand fucked up decisions in his whole life, but nothing can ever top this from his list of fuck ups. Not even the making Jeonghan mad because his big mouth almost outed Jisoo to his parents that he’s in a threesome relationship with Seungcheol and him kind of fuck up which is the current and reigning champion of his list of fuck ups because Jeonghan really wanted to fuck him up in a bad way at that time.

No, this was worse because beside him is none other than Kwon Soonyoung, also known as the man he just met last night via Seokmin slash the man he met at a party slash the man he got along with teasing Hansol about his obvious crush to Seungkwan. Overall, Kwon Soonyoung is a pretty cool guy – emphasis on pretty because he really is very, very pretty even for a man.

But the things is, it’s not just any party. It’s a bachelor party – Soonyoung’s bachelor party to be exact and said man is getting married to none other than his college friend, Kim Mingyu.

Jihoon feels his throat dry up as he hunches on his back, still staring at Soonyoung with wide and horrified eyes. He’s very much naked underneath this duvet, Soonyoung also, and fuck, there’s the lube at the end of the bed.

Jihoon may have made some mad fuck ups but he’s gonna salvage this situation. The last thing he wanted to be labeled as is homewrecker.

Slowly, he rolls off the bed, not minding how his elbow shoots up electric sparks as it landed on the carpeted floor. It took Jihoon all of his might not to put a voice on his silent scream before continuing to roll like a burrito until he’s in a safe distance away from the bed. He almost lost balance when he wears his boxers, one foot first then the other, and then wrestle himself in this overly large sweater – fuck, this isn’t his sweater!

“Hey.”

“Fucking –“ Jihoon clamps his eyes shut, dropping his pants on the floor. He has his hands balled into a fist, clenching and unclenching them to make them to calm his nerves. “You – uh – how long have you been awake?”

Soonyoung blinks twice, a groggy expression on his face. Then he smiles. “Hi.”

Seriously, is this guy for real?

Jihoon licks his dry lips and plasters a tight smile. “Listen uh… Soonyoung.” He clears his throat. “We can completely forget about this whole –“ He gestures wildly with his fingers. “…thing. Okay?”

Soonyoung blinks twice.

“Okay,” Jihoon slowly backs away, looking this close in losing it. He bends down to take his pant, eyes not leaving Soonyoung. Said man just stares him, still completely out of it and looking like he wanted to go back to sleep.  He didn’t even bother putting on his pants not when he literally speed walked his way out of the room, unable to take the awkwardness of everything any more.

He needs to get out of here. He thinks of going back at the hotel venue, talk to Seungcheol since he’s ninety-nine percent sure the older male won’t clobber him upon hearing his predicament.

But first, he needs to put on his pants.

“You what?!”

“Shh, not so loud!” He hissed at Seungcheol, before bowing his apologies to the other tourists eating breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Seungcheol looks scandalized, mouth parted slightly gaping.” Jihoon nervously laughs, shielding his face with his hands.

“So you’re telling me… that you fucked with our dongsaeng’s fiancé,” Seungcheol drops his fork and leans against the table, whispering frantically. “What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“I don’t know! I have no control of my drunk self.” He hits his head on the table, this time unmindful of the people staring at their table weirdly. “I really need to stop it with the alcohol. Fucking hell.”

“Look, I have no idea what to do with that, honestly.” Seungcheol sighs, gesturing wildly with his hands. “Either you talk it out with Soonyoung or ignore what happened. Completely erase everything in your mind. I mean,” He forces a laugh despite his panicky state. “What happens in the bachelor party stay in the bachelor party, right?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Jihoon hopes that’s it.

It was afternoon when everyone decided to have fun at the hotel pool. It wasn’t that crowded, a perfect fit for Jihoon to lay down on the folded bench and read. He’s already at chapter 27 in the book he’s reading. The Shining by Stephen King was and will always be his favorite no matter how many times he read it. Like it’s already his nth time reading it, he can almost recite the book by heart.

“I’ve always pegged you as a non-fictional type of guy.”

“Holy fu –“ Jihoon bites his lower lip when he sees a mom in her mid-forties holding her daughter while glaring at him as if taunting him to continue that. He gives her a shaky smile and bows his head in apology before looking down on his book, now lost in where he left off.  “What are you doing here?” He hissed.

Beside him, Soonyoung laughs. “What? I can’t hang out with a friend now?”

The blonde male is wearing nothing but his swimming trunks, water dripping down his toned body – like literally sliding down as if to enunciate his curves. Jihoon focused on not letting his eyes wander and instead planted his eyes on the book even if he’s been reading the same word over and over again. The words very drunk and pathetically remorseful are there as if to mock him.

“Since when have we become friends?”

“Aw, boo.” Soonyoung curls his lower lip in a pout. “You weren’t this snappy last night. What changed, Ji?”

“You did not just –“ Jihoon raised a finger, finally turning to face Soonyoung. He jabs a finger against the man’s chest but retreats when he feels how soft and wet it is. Control your face, Jihoon. Fucking hell. “First of all, you’re getting married. Second: we had sex last night, you shouldn’t be with me. And lastly, you are getting married!” He whisper-yelled.

Soonyoung mutters. “You weren’t complaining when I was riding you last night.”

The folded bench made a screech when the woman near them stood up with a huff, glaring at them before walking away with her daughter in her arms. Jihoon bows his head again in apology. Beside him, Soonyoung’s grin came back. “Why can we be friends?”

“Listen to me, Soonyoung.” Jihoon smiles through gritted teeth. “You may heard me telling this to you multiple times, but you are getting married.”

“Ah, yes I am fully aware that I am getting married.” Soonyoung drawls. “But it’s not actually a valid reason why we can’t be friends.”

“But we –“

“Hey, you two.”

“Mingyu!” He greets the younger a little more enthusiastic than he expected, welcoming the arm wrapped on his shoulder despite being known to the world as the number 1 hater of skin ships. Mingyu has both arms on him and Soonyoung and Jihoon wanted to drown himself at the 7ft pool just to save himself from the guilt that’s eating him alive.

“Wow, look at you.” Mingyu gives his shoulder a squeeze while he pulls Soonyoung close to him. “All friendly and warming up with each other. I guess you two are friends now?”

Soonyoung hums. “Oh –“

Jihoon’s eyes went wide. “We are.” He sees Soonyoung’s eyebrow raised. “We’re great friends now.”

“My favorite hyung and my favorite person in the world, yes!” Mingyu gives their shoulders a squeeze. “Don’t tell Seungcheol hyung about you being my favorite hyung, though.” He chuckles. “You two…“ He stands up and points at them, his smile so wide it looks like it might hurt. “…you two have fun.” Mingyu winks before running back to Seokmin and Seungkwan playing ball in the pool.

Jihoon can only stare as Mingyu play with the kids, with that boyish smile on his face. He imagines that smile turning into a full blown scowl directed at him when he learns of what happened at that bachelor party last night. He doesn’t think he can survive that. Mingyu is a ball of sunshine, after all. (An abnormally tall sunshine.) Jihoon gave up reading his book and sighs, running his fingers through his red locks.

“Okay…” Soonyoung hums in amusement. “And here I thought we can’t be friends, Ji.”

“Please, don’t call me that.”

Dinner is a loud affair.

Poor Seungcheol tries to quiet everyone down but the power to stop a wine drunken Seungkwan and Seokmin is like asking for a crow to turn white. Jeonghan and Jisoo are in their own world, comparing the wine to the other wines they tasted the past few years. Chan is talking to Hansol but said male nods absentmindedly while staring dreamily at Seungkwan. Jun looks like the king of the world after seeing the loud duo laugh at his jokes while Minghao looks like he wants to murder someone.

When Mingyu and Soonyoung came to join them, Seungcheol finally decided to separate the two.

“The wine isn’t even that strong.” He grins when Seokmin flops on the seat next to him. Said man gives him a goofy smile.

“We were out drinking earlier this afternoon. You should have come.”

Drunk in the afternoon. Such a Seungkwan and Seokmin thing to do.

“So…” Seokmin pops his lips and gives his shoulder a nudge. “How was last night? You looked like you had a lot of fun back there. First time for someone grumpy as you.” They bumped shoulders, Jihoon balancing his glass so the wine won’t spill.

Jihoon doesn’t remember shit so he just plays along. “Oh, yeah. It was great.”

“Hmm, I bet it was loads of fun, especially that stripper. The way his hips roll so smoothly like chocolate, damn.” Seokmin wiggles his brows. “You didn’t come back in our hotel room.”

Stripper? Wait, when he said stripper, did he thought –

“Hey, everybody!” Seokmin slurs. “Did you know our Jihoonnie got some good-good last night?”

Jihoon hated to be the center of attention but because of Seokmin’s loud announcement, all eyes on the table were on him. Seungcheol, who’s in mid-conversation with Jisoo and Mingyu paused, looking at Jihoon in alarm. It wasn’t helping that Soonyoung was staring at him from across the table. Jun leans forward, brows furrowed with a look of disbelief mixed with awe on his face. “No way!”

“Uh, yes way.” Seokmin wiggles his brows.

He tries to salvage himself from the situation but Seokmin’s loud voice over powers his small one. And when Seungkwan finally joined in harassing him, he knew it was a lost cause. Soon enough others were joining on the teasing and jabs. Jihoon absentmindedly fingers the collar of his shirt, not knowing on what to do.

“So how was it?” Jun inquired. “Great night?”

Jihoon clears his throat. “Uh…”

“Yeah, Jihoon.” His breath hitched at how low his voice was then. It wasn’t helping he can see his collarbones exposed to his eyes from his white dress shirt. Jihoon itches to button up the first buttons on top to cover it. Soonyoung’s smile is teasing, innocent but his eyes were dark and enticing. “How was it?”

Jihoon swallows hard and forces a laugh, playing it off nonchalantly.

“I honestly don’t remember but I seriously hope it was great.”

“I had my fair share of drunken sex and I have to say,” Seungkwan wiggles his finger. “The whole thing is great but the aftermath sucks balls.” Hansol frowns upon hearing this but did not make any move to move away from the other.

Chan scrunches his face. “Why must we talk sex at dinner?”

Minghao covers his ears. “Hush, boy. The adults are talking.”

“Hey, I’m an adult, too!”

“Well, drunk sex or not it’s great you finally let yourself loose once in a while.” Jisoo smiles. “I hope getting laid makes you less grumpy when we head back to Seoul. Blue balls makes you crazy sometimes, you know?”

“Don’t know, can’t relate.” Jeonghan smirks.  Jisoo playfully rolls his eyes.

“Oh, Mingyu.” Seungcheol snatches Mingyu’s attention. “About that mini cooper you have…” Mingyu’s brows raised up, smiling as he listens to the older male. He must have picked up Jihoon’s distress so he immediately took action. Judging from Jeonghan and Jisoo’s reactions, it seems like Seungcheol hasn’t spilled the beans yet. Let it last long, please, please, oh please. The last thing he wanted is to get lectured by Jisoo and strangled to death by Jeonghan.

Slowly, everyone dissolves into their own little conversations and Jihoon sighs in relief when Seokmin’s attention went to playing around with Chan and Minghao. But even then, Soonyoung is still staring at him even when he’s beside Mingyu. Even when their hands are clasp together, he’s staring at him.

Jihoon takes his glass and downs his drink.

Jihoon couldn’t believe he got himself drunk again.

Seokmin pulled him in their room but he got knocked out midway so Seungcheol and Jisoo did not have any choice but take the younger male back at their hotel room (though Seungcheol was the one mostly doing the lifting and Jisoo tails behind him saying that he can help despite his older boyfriend’s disagreement. On the other hand, Jeonghan is nowhere to be found because he’s a lazy ass and he’s in their shared room now.)

Everyone went back to their respective rooms and Jihoon knows he should go too but no. Instead, his dumbass decided to take a walk at the beach near the hotel. It’s just a few walks away but it’s dangerous for him – like seriously, sober Jihoon may be calm and composed but drunk Jihoon is another story. It’s not going to be a surprise when the next morning, his dead body might be found floating in the water by a random stranger.

Jihoon stopped short and ponders, lower lip curled and a finger stuck at the bottom. He should definitely leave and go back. The beach is dark and the waters look frightening. What was supposed to be sarcasm might actually come true. He doesn’t want a random stranger see his dead body floating in the water. Jihoon sighs.

He’s going to make sandcastles.

Jihoon kneels down on the white sand started digging with his fingers. He’s going to make a box. A huge box and he’s going to poke holes on it for the doors and – and the windows like a real castle! It’s going to be big unlike his apartment back at home. In fact, he’s going to live in it just to prove how big it is.

“That looks fun.”

“What?” Jihoon slurs, snapping his whole body to the direction of the voice.

His blonde locks is very clear despite it’s dark out and Jihoon’s slowly unfocused vision. Soonyoung is still wearing his white dress shirt, only the sleeves are now rolled up on his elbows, some khakis shorts and orange slippers. He shakes his head and smiles, lifting a hand to give him a small wave. “Hello.”

Soonyoung laughs. “I’m telling you,” He points at him. “That is the start of everything.”

Jihoon raised a brow. “Huh?”

“Why last night happened.” He answers, taking a step forward. He’s got his hands in his pockets as he continues watching him continue to dig. Jihoon doesn’t look like he minds his presence, anyway. Drunk-wise. “If ever you’re wondering why… that is.”

You caught me at “Hello.”

“No,” Jihoon tuts. He’s giggling like a schoolgirl, his cheeks hurting as he does. “No, you started it.” He wiggles his finger. “You’re trying to prove that you’ve got great hip control, which you did, by the way.” He slurs. “Great hip control. I stand corrected.”

Soonyoung tilts his head, grinning. “I thought you wanted to forget that.”

“Did I said that, uh…?” Jihoon hiccups before he continues digging. “Dun remember.”

“You did. You didn’t even want to have breakfast with me.”

“Dun like breakfast with anyone.” Jihoon mumbles. “Coups-hyung say I look like a hamster when I eat. I don’t look like a hamster. I’m not cute.”

“Okay?” Soonyoung raised a brow in amusement as he crouches down so he’s at the same level as Jihoon. Jihoon blinks lazily while he starts shaping his box. He has a small smile on his face and his eyes are staring blankly in a daze-like gaze. “You’re not cute. So what are you –“

“I’m sexy.” Jihoon drops his voice into a husky one, startling Soonyoung.

Soonyoung blinks rapidly, unable to voice out his thoughts. “Uh…” He dumbly said. When Jihoon smirks, cocks and eyebrow and swipes his tongue on his upper lip, Soonyoung swallows hard. “J-Jihoon, I –“

“I think clams are secretly butterflies.”

“Wait, what?”

Jihoon flops on the sand, crashing on his built box-shaped sand. Soonyoung stares at him, wide-eyed, unmoving at first before breaking out into fits of laughter.

When Jihoon came to, he’s in a very familiar room. Like super familiar he just literally slept here one night. The only difference last time and this time was he’s wearing clothes. Clothes that are too big for him, anyway.

He jolts, pausing when he feels his head throb in the most painful way. He groans and mutters a curse, arms blindly reaching for something – his phone, yes… he needs to know if his phone is alive. He needs to call Seungcheol like right now. He can’t afford to keep making this fuck up. He’ll tell him that he needs to keep his alcohol in check. Or better yet, he needs to tell Seungcheol to keep him away from the red goodness.

“Good morning.” Came a cheery voice. Jihoon clamps his eyes shut. Oh, god no.

Jihoon feels himself gently being pulled up by a warm hand wrapped around his wrist. The bed dips beside him and he hears a clink at the end table beside him. Slowly, he opens an eye and then the other, able to see Soonyoung just about to hand him a mug of coffee. “You were wasted last night. I think you’ll need this.”

“T-Thank you.” Jihoon accepts the mug, not wanting to be rude. The guy did the liberty of taking care of him in his wasted state. If it were anybody in their group of friends, they would have left Jihoon there on the floor sleeping. 

The coffee is warm and it smells good but the taste is, “Crap.” Jihoon scrunches his face. “Tastes like crap.” But he still drinks it. If the crap coffee keeps him awake, the more the reason he should take it.

“You’ll change your mind when you try my soup.” Soonyoung scoops a spoonful and places it near his mouth after giving it a gentle blow. Jihoon stills but gives in after a few coaxing. He wiggles his brows. “Well?”

“Your soup tastes crappier than your coffee.”

“But how do you know it tastes like crap? Perhaps you’ve eaten shit once?”

“No, but I’ve got a strong feeling shit tastes like this if I’ve eaten one.”

“You were not this mean when you were drunk.” Soonyoung pouts. “I’m starting to like your drunk side.”

Jihoon huffs. “My drunk side is the reason why you’re cheating on Mingyu.” When the words left his lips, his eyes went wide. “Fuck, you’re cheating on Mingyu.” He clamps his mouth in horror. “Fuck, you’re cheating on Mingyu with me.”

Soonyoung takes the mug in the other’s hands, afraid it might break and gently places it down on the tray at the end table. “Jihoon, calm down.”

“What do you mean calm down?” Jihoon grips his hair tight. “I’m basically a home wrecker!”

“You’re not wrecking anyone’s home.” Soonyoung tries to calm him down but Jihoon was having none of it.

“I need to go – leave.” Jihoon takes off the duvet, unintentionally letting it drape on Soonyoung’s head, and climbs off the bed. “Fuck, where’s my clothes? Pants. Just pants will do… I don’t know. I need to leave before Mingyu comes.” Jihoon drops and searches underneath the bed before running towards the bathroom, in search of said article clothing. Soonyoung takes off the thick duvet and chuckles in amusement.

“Mingyu isn’t coming, Ji.”

Jihoon gasps. “Did he already find out? Oh god, please no.”

“Jihoon, no, wait…” Soonyoung crawls out of bed and runs to grab Jihoon by the wrist, stopping him. “You’ve got it all wrong. I…” He sighs. “There’s something you need to know about Mingyu and I. But I warn you, this is super-secret that no one, not even Seungcheol knows.”

Jihoon seems to tense even more at this, but his attention is now focused on Soonyoung. “W-What is it?”

He expects something like those revenge plot dramas reason. For example, Soonyoung’s going to say that he’s using Mingyu for his family’s wealth to further the Kwon’s status – Jihoon might punch Soonyoung in the face when he hears that – or something cliché like Soonyoung found out Mingyu’s cheating on him which is why he wanted to even everything out by using him as his side-guy. And again, Jihoon might punch Soonyoung if he hears that because other than a home-wrecker, he doesn’t want to be labeled as a side-guy. Hell, nobody wants to be labeled as that. (Except maybe sluts and gold-diggers)

“Err…” Soonyoung bites his lower lip. “This whole marriage is actually arranged.”

Jihoon blinks rapidly. “Huh?”

“This – us…” He gestures with his fingers. “We’re just getting married because our great-grandparents wants the second generation first-borns to marry. Something about unity and strengthening bonds of friendship, I don’t know.” He shrugs.

Jihoon narrows his eyes. “So…”

“So…” Soonyoung loosens his grip on the other’s wrist after noticing that he’s not fighting back anymore. “It means, Mingyu isn’t coming in this room because this is my personal room that we privately booked for ourselves. Mingyu has one too and we have one room where we’re required to sleep together to act like the perfect couple our parents keep bragging out to others.” When he sees Jihoon looking confused, Soonyoung grins cheekily. “It’s complicated.”

Now that he thought about it, it is oddly weird. Why didn’t he question it before? If Mingyu and Soonyoung are in a real relationship, their one night stand on Soonyoung’s bachelor’s party will be obvious. Jihoon thinks he might have thought about it if his head isn’t caught up at the thought of betraying Mingyu. Hell, his friendship with Mingyu is 5 years long. He just met Soonyoung properly at the guy’s bachelor party. Seokmin’s the one who is close to this guy not him.

So the question is, why didn’t Mingyu tell them?

He must have said that out loud because Soonyoung chuckles. “Your reactions are needed to make everything work, you know. After all, we need to convince our parents we’re in love.”

“So technically, I’m the first one that… knows about this?”

Soonyoung nods.

“Oh.”

“I hope that clears everything out, Ji.” The blonde smiles. He takes his hand and being the frozen idiot Jihoon is, he lets him. He doesn’t even want Soonyoung to call him that. It’s too intimate. But he finds himself not caring for the first time, which is puzzling. Jihoon’s not the type to get comfortable in two awkward meetings.

Jihoon furrows his brows. “Why did you tell me then? If it’s super-secret as you say it is.”

“I don’t know. Maybe… it’s because…” Soonyoung shrugs, eyes wandering before fixing his gaze on him. “I like you. I really do.”

He feels his heart skip.

“And I really like talking to you, even if majority of those times was when you were drunk.” Soonyoung chuckles softly, his eyes turning into slits. “I heard a lot about you from Seokmin and I really wanted to get to know you more. That is… if you’ll let me?”

There’s a red light blaring in his head. The mini-office in his mind is a mess, everything burning and all because of that simple question. Think about this clearly, Jihoon. You’re associating yourself with a soon-to-be-married guy. This is suicide. Arranged or not, the endgame of this is Soonyoung and Mingyu still getting married. The best answer would be a big no.

“I guess it’s fine.” Jihoon plays it off, nonchalant, as if it didn’t bother him. “I did say to Mingyu that we’re friends.”

Soonyoung grins upon hearing this, biting his lower lip as he does. 

Dammit, Jihoon.

The original duo had been Seungcheol and him, which explains why they’re so close with each other. Seungcheol started dating Jeonghan and through him, they got to meet Jisoo who eventually became their boyfriend. Jisoo got a half Korean cousin, Hansol, which the former introduced to them during one of their Friday night movies. Jun was Jihoon’s roommate in college who is dating Minghao. Seokmin and Seungkwan he got to be friends with at one class where they’re grouped together for a project. And through Hansol, he got to meet Chan.

Mingyu had been Seungcheol’s teammate at varsity basketball.  And out of all the people Jihoon had met in his college life, Mingyu was the one he got close to the fastest. The taller is very warm. Albeit clumsy, he’s got a good heart and a very cheery personality. He’s also Jihoon’s punching bag so he’s definitely sure that he likes him.

Not much did they know about Mingyu personally in a deeper level, but they’re aware that Mingyu’s family is heavy rich and that he’s dating someone that he refuses to say who. But after a few years down the road, Mingyu announces that he’s about to marry someone, everyone got excited because they finally get to meet this mystery man.

That’s when Soonyoung enters.

But at first meeting, everyone started to get wild because Soonyoung is actually friends with Seokmin and at the same time, he’s enrolled in the same dance studio with Minghao, Jun and Chan so that makes him well acquainted with some of their friends. Soonyoung is like a ray of sunshine, too, just like Mingyu. Like at first glance they’re perfect for each other – so perfect that when Mingyu formally announces they’re getting married, nobody questioned a thing.

Then the bachelor party happened.

Originally, Jihoon was supposed to go to Mingyu’s bachelor party but the younger male refused to have one and said that he’ll just spend the whole evening reading a book. Soonyoung, he said, should definitely have one. So they did – all 10 of them prepared and went to Soonyoung’s bachelor party.

And the rest is history.

“Look at them.”

Jihoon looks at the direction of where Seokmin was pointing at then huffs a laugh. Hansol and Seungkwan seems to be in a very deep conversation, their shoulders pressed against each other as they stare at the blue sea in front of them. At one point, Seungkwan laughs and wraps his arm around the other’s shoulder. Hansol’s blush is evident but an oblivious Seungkwan didn’t notice.

“Seeing them frustrates me.” Jihoon said. “Seungkwan keeps on insisting he wants to find his Prince Charming here, while Hansol keeps on delaying his confession. It’s like those stupid romcoms with the same stupid plot over and over.”

Seokmin hums in amusement. “Every love story are like romcoms, Jihoonnie.” He coos. “Just because yours is non-existent doesn’t mean you have to be bitter about it.”

Oh, you have no idea.

“Just because you have a girlfriend back at home, doesn’t mean you need to rub my non-existent romance on my face.” Seokmin cackles at this. As if by cue, he feels his phone vibrate in his shorts pocket. He pulls it out and squints after seeing who the sender is. 

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, just someone from…” Jihoon knows Seokmin might pry so he has to give out the details now to avoid further questions. “…Tinder.”

“Tinder? Whoa.” Seokmin scoots close to him that Jihoon has to hide his phone in his pocket. “Guy or –“

“A girl.” Jihoon blurts. He mentally berated himself for saying that but there’s no going back now. “It’s a girl. I’ve been talking to her for a while now. I just… didn’t want to tell you yet because it’s still… unsure?”

Seokmin narrows his eyes for a second, making Jihoon tense, but then he smiles to his relief. “Well, you should let us meet her if you’re sure about her. All eleven of us, should.”  

--

“You said what?”

“Look, it was something to get Seokmin out of my back. Cut me some slack.” Jihoon explains amidst Soonyoung’s loud laughter. It breaks the silence in the alcove they were in save from the waves crashing in front of them. Jihoon wiggles his toes in an attempt to remove the sands sticking.

“Why didn’t you just tell him it was me?” Soonyoung copies what he was doing even if his feet doesn’t have sands in them.

“Wouldn’t it be weird?” Jihoon playfully kicks him. “Plus, if I did tell him, he’ll find out you want to meet me here in this not so secret base of yours.”

Soonyoung kicks him in revenge. “It is a secret base, mind you. I have been here every day and not once did I ever see anyone come here. I’d like to spend my time here alone without my parents nagging and panicking over wedding preparations. I like nice and quiet.”

“You don’t look like the nice and quiet type.”

“I’m not always that loud.”

“Have you heard yourself?”

“You’re being mean again.” There it is, that pout.

Jihoon decides to change the topic before he gets super into it. He doesn’t know if that pout is Soonyoung’s way of acting cute, flirting or Jihoon’s just looking over into things. “I haven’t seen Mingyu around lately. Where do you think he’s been?”

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung shrugs. “He’s being secretively lately. Maybe…” He fake gasps. “Maybe he’s got a secret lover that we don’t know about.”

“Doubt it.” He immediately shot the idea down. Just the thought is silly to be honest. Jeonghan tried flirting with him once and Mingyu ended up almost peeing his pants because he couldn’t talk properly. Said male is very offended at this despite his boyfriend’s assurance that he is not disgusting. “Mingyu can’t even get a dog to like him.”

“Nobody knows, really.” The blonde shrugs then smirks. “Shall we bet on it?”

“Sure.”

“Loser gets to do whatever the winner says?”

“Deal.”

Soonyoung hums happily and bumps their shoulders together. “What about you?”

Jihoon furrows his brow. “What about me?”

“Ever dated anybody?”

Oh, Jihoon has. He has dated so many. But those relationships always ended up in failure because Jihoon is so, so uncaring and nonchalant about everything. He’s closed off and doesn’t let anyone come in his world. He has a different view of love and he blames it in the people around him. His parents might not be divorced but his aunt from his father’s side is a cheating bitch who dumped her husband for a younger and useless man while his uncle from his mother’s side of the family is a fuckboy who runs around getting women pregnant.

He doesn’t want to be invested in a relationship he knows that’s gonna fail in a long run.

“Of course.” Jihoon replies shortly. “Anybody does, of course.”

“Well, I haven’t.”

Jihoon stills. He turns his head to look at Soonyoung. “I don’t believe you.”

“I really don’t.” Soonyoung leans on his back, hands supporting him from behind. “Hell, I haven’t even had sex, yet.” Then he pauses and smirks. “Or rather, I had…” He wiggles his brows at Jihoon. “It’s just a shame that someone doesn’t remember.”

“What the fuck, Soonyoung?!” Jihoon is on his knees now, his fingers tangled on his hair in distress. “I’m your first?!”

Soonyoung looks up at him. “Uh, yeah.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“I’m telling the truth – ow!” Soonyoung laughs when Jihoon proceeded to attack him with multiple punches in the arm. “It’s the truth – ow! Stop you’re hurting me!” But he’s laughing and that only spurred Jihoon’s relentless attack.

Jihoon landed one hard punch before flopping on the sand. Soonyoung watches him while he nurses his injured arm. “I think first times are very precious and special and knowing that yours is given to me while I’m drunk is really bad. I feel terrible. Thank you for making my day awful, Kwon.”

“What?” The blond turns and lies next to him flat on his stomach. “But you were gentle when you were drunk.” He leans his cheeks against his knuckles. “You’re even nicer when you are drunk than you are sober.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” He deadpans.

Soonyoung chuckles. “You’re not going to top next time, that’s for sure. Bottoming for you feels nice but you’re too brutal for my ass. It was a miracle I could walk straight that morning.”

He chokes in air. Soonyoung might look innocent but he’s so brutally honest and blunt. He claims to be a relationship virgin and a literal virgin but here he is talking about having sex again. He’s beginning to think that what studies says are true – virgins are hornier than experienced people?

Jihoon scoffs a laugh to hide the heat blooming on his face. “Who says there’s going to be a next time?”

“Is that a challenge, Lee?” Soonyoung smirks.

“Oh, fuck you.” He kicks the male on the bottom making said male shriek. That prompts Soonyoung to grab Jihoon by his leg when he’s about to run and pulls him back.

Jihoon squeaks when he feels being dragged down by over-eager hands and no matter how hard he wriggles away, he simply cannot escape. Jihoon is strong, but Soonyoung is smart. He used his free hand to tickle him and it made him soft and jelly that he accidentally lowered his defenses. Soonyoung took this chance to pin him down on the white sand, their laughter mixed together as they wrestle.

After that impromptu play fight, they both lay down dripping in sweat as they catch their breaths. Silence welcomes them, save from the sounds of breaths and waves crashing against each other. And Jihoon loves it – this kind of silence. The kind of silence that lulls Jihoon to sleep.

Soonyoung turns his head and grins. “You’ve got sand in your hair.”

Jihoon chuckles. “Yours, too.”

Soonyoung smiles, still catching his breath. It’s here that Jihoon finally takes a good look at him. Like how his smile is so bright that it almost outshines the sun or how beautiful his eyes are up close. Dark irises stare at him and Jihoon finds himself staring at them, his throat running dry. When Jisoo whispered to his ear the first time they all met him that Soonyoung is gorgeous, he didn’t understand which part of the guy is gorgeous. Because in Jihoon’s eyes then, he looks plain. Just a simple jolly and happy man about to get married.

He finally gets it.

“Do you want to clean up together?” Soonyoung smirks.

That was enough for Jihoon to snap out of his trance. “Nice try.” He slams his hand on Soonyoung’s chest, making said man groan, and used it as leverage to stand up. He ruffles his hair to dust off sands stuck in his hair while he walks out of the alcove, laughing when he hears Soonyoung calls his name in a dramatic way.

As Jihoon and Soonyoung’s friendship progresses, so does the date of the wedding.

Jihoon knows this. He knows the subtle flirty messages Soonyoung leaves him and he knows the secretive glances he gives whenever they’re in the same room with their friends. He knows how he likes to sit beside him during dinner together with their friends and he knows how he presses their legs together while they eat. They are small actions that can only be interpreted as normal by an outsider, but Jihoon knows Soonyoung meant it differently.

After lunch, he sees Soonyoung about to approach him only stop midway when Seungcheol wraps an arm around him and drags him away. Soonyoung covers this by making a beeline to Jun, Minghao and Chan. Jihoon looks up at the taller with both brows raised. “What do you want?”

“What? Jihoonnie, I’m lonely. Can’t you keep me company?” 

“You have two boyfriends.” He deadpans. “You have more than one company, what the hell?” But he couldn’t help the laughter to come out of his lips when Seungcheol rubs his head on his hair. “Stop acting like an overgrown baby. You’re not cute.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know. Jeonghan thinks I’m adorable whenever I do that.” He squeezes the arm slung on his neck. Jihoon squeaks.

He was too caught up by Seungcheol that he didn’t notice Soonyoung staring at him when they left.

It’s been a long time since he hung out with the trio. When Seungcheol took him to their suite, Jisoo and Jeonghan are already there looking as if they were expecting their arrival. Good guy Jisoo even prepared his glass of scotch for him.

“So…” Jeonghan takes a sip of his drink. “I heard you have a thing with someone on Tinder.”

Jihoon groans. “Dammit, Seokmin.”

“So…” Soonyoung plays around with his phone. They were sitting on their usual spot at the alcove with the hopes of watching the sunset. Jihoon doesn’t want to, opting to finish his book instead inside his room but then again, Soonyoung’s got mad persuasion skills. The blonde scratches the back of his neck. “You and Seungcheol…”

Jihoon raised his brows. The sounds of the people screaming in his phone is heard in the background. “What about me and Seungcheol?”

“I don’t know…” Soonyoung shrugs. “You two really that close?”

Jihoon makes a noise. “We’re best friends, of course we’re close.” Then he furrows his brows and lowers his phone, looking at him in disbelief. “Are you jealous?”

“No.” Soonyoung blew a raspberry and waves him in dismissal. “Why would I even…?” He lets out a loud laugh as if Jihoon had said something really, really funny. Jihoon simply stares, judging and at the same time, confused. Soonyoung clears his throat. “I was just… wondering. I mean, Seungcheol’s really…”

“Handsome?”

“Charming.” Soonyoung grins but anyone can see how forced it was. He’s not the kind of person that can hide feelings, after all. “He’s got two boyfriends. Possibilities of having a third one isn’t that far off.”

Jihoon makes a face. “I’m not into polyamory.”

“Good.” Soonyoung seems to be satisfied as he looked down on his phone again, his smile this time a relaxed one. “I’m not into sharing you with anyone either.”

If that was a slip up or intentional, Jihoon doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what runs in Soonyoung mind but despite his curiosity, he ignores the thought and focused back on the game in his phone. He’s in the middle of building a roller coaster when he feels something heavy pressed against his side, strands of hair tickling his cheek and something heavy digging on his shoulder.

“What’s that?” Soonyoung whispers.

Jihoon glares at his phone, unwilling to succumb to his emotions bubbling. “Roller Coaster Tycoon.”

Soonyoung hums. “That looks fun, though it looks kind of old.”

“It’s the classic one.” He answers. His thumb is beginning to shake as he places the entrance and exit on his newly built custom designed ride. It wasn’t helping that he can feel Soonyoung’s chest drape on his back. “It’s the best one out of all versions.”

Jihoon loves this game. Unfortunately, Jisoo is the only one who shares his love for Roller Coaster Tycoon. But whenever someone talks about this old game, Jihoon would always drone on and on about how great this is and how addicting it is despite the old graphics. If there’s anything that he wanted to do more in this world, it’s teaching every damn kid that this game is so fucking great – even greater than their stupid good graphic games that lacks every aspect of what a game really is.

“It looks complicated.” Soonyoung hums. “Teach me?”

And for the first time, Jihoon finds himself unable to talk about Roller Coaster Tycoon. For the first time, there’s not a single word that comes out of his mouth. How can he when Soonyoung is oh so close – close enough to feel his hot breath on his cheek and feel his heart beating against his chest.

Jihoon releases a shaky breath, willing his heart to calm down before saying. “Y-You’re too close.”

“Ah,” Soonyoung pulls away. “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t mean it, Jihoon knows, because he’s giving him that cheeky smile as if saying that what he’s doing is purely intentional.

Fuck, he’s too sober to handle this.

“Listen, Soonyoung.” Jihoon starts dusting his pants while he stands up. “I should go.”

“Do you have plans tomorrow?”

He froze midway and looks at him. “It’s your rehearsal dinner tomorrow, what the hell?”

“No, like after.” He stands up after him. “Do you have plans after?” He shakes his head no. “Great, because I was thinking of inviting you over for dinner.”

Jihoon furrows his brows and started walking, eager to get out of the situation as soon as possible. Any minute with Soonyoung can make him lose his sanity. “We always have dinner together.” Unfortunately the blonde has long legs, longer than him, and was able to catch up easily.

“When I said dinner, I meant just the two of us.”

Jihoon frowns. “Like a date?”

“I mean, if you want to – hey!”

Soonyoung ran and blocked him, hands on both shoulders as he stares into Jihoon in his eyes. “Come on. Just one night.” He raised a finger. “One night with me and we’ll see things from there.” When he didn’t answer, he tilts his head, his lower lip curled into a pout. “Ji?”

He contemplates for a moment (or a minute, just enough time until he gets lost in Soonyoung’s eyes again) “Fine.” He answers. “Just one time.”

“Okay.” Soonyoung nods, grinning. “Great.”

“Good.” Jihoon nods and continuous walking. He can still feel Soonyoung’s eyes on him so he tries to act as normal as possible. He thinks of this dreadful dinner between the two of them for tomorrow. He frowns and clenches his fists… mad – trying to get mad – smiling. Fuck, he’s smiling.

He needs a drink.

Lots of them.

Rehearsal dinner went smoothly as planned. It was mostly boring and the only thing that he really liked the most was the sample of the buffet that will be served on the wedding reception. He kept his poker face most of the time, only smiling at some guests and even accepting the older women’s invitation for a dance. The only thing that kept him entertained was how Minghao is trying to fit five huge meatballs inside Chan’s mouth while Jun takes a video.

He was in the middle of dancing with an elderly while an old track of Andy William when Seungkwan taps him on the shoulder. “Hey, can I cut in?” He grins, easily charming the old lady with his smile. Jihoon chuckles and gently passes her to him.

Before he leaves, Seungkwan whispers. “Soonyoung wants to meet you at the lobby.” When Jihoon gave him a confused stare, he just winked.

And when he did, he finally knows why Seungkwan winked at him.

Soonyoung isn’t wearing the same get up back at the rehearsal dinner. He was wearing a simple blue dress shirt tucked in his gray pants. His bangs mats against his forehead and his smile is so wide it looks like it hurts. And in his hands are – wait, what the…?

“Fries.” Jihoon deadpans. “You got me fries in a bouquet.”

“Flowers is overrated and chocolates are bad for your teeth so fries it is. Plus, it’s much cheaper than chocolates.” He hands them to Jihoon after he finally approached him. “Now come on. Time is ticking.” He grabs him by the wrist and proceeded to drag him only to stop when Jihoon doesn’t budge. 

“Wait, what about Mingyu?”

“Mingyu left half an hour in the rehearsal dinner saying that he’s got somewhere important to be. Like literally left me to fend off the wolves back there. Not cool. If anything but, he owes me.” Soonyoung tugs his hand. “Now come on and let’s go before they realize I’m missing.”

Soonyoung didn’t even bother thanking the valet and just snatched his keys in the younger man’s grasp. He opens the passenger door and gestures for Jihoon to get in, closing it immediately when he enters and immediately rounds at the car to get on his seat. Why Soonyoung is rushing, he doesn’t know. Maybe they’re running late into something or he’s afraid someone from his family is going to see them.

As if reading his mind, Soonyoung said. “We’re running late on my list so I can’t afford to waste another minute.” He shifts the gear and started to drive. “And now, we’re going on our number one on the list.”

Jihoon raised a brow. “And that is?”

--

Jihoon was full on wearing a dress shirt and slacks with a black tie wrapped on his collar when he finds himself standing in front of a roller skating rink filled with teenagers and some college students. It’s to be expected that there’s many people since it’s a Friday night. He can even see some of them staring at him. So embarrassing, really.

“Seriously?” He gives a look of disbelief at the blonde male. “You should have given me a heads up if we’re going here.” He accepts the shoes that were given to him with a frown. Soonyoung sits on the bench and started to change into his blades. “I should have changed.”

Soonyoung threw his head back and laughs. “Where’s the fun in that?” He stands up and pats Jihoon on the chest. “Now go and change into your roller blades so we can have fun.”

“But I can’t skate.”

“Neither can I.” Soonyoung wiggles his brows.

And true to his words, Jihoon watches live as Soonyoung attempted to skate only to fall flat on his ass with a thud. He looks like a kid, too – eyes wide in surprise and mouth parted in shock. Jihoon couldn’t help the laugh that comes out of his mouth. And Soonyoung looks happy too despite multiple falls.

Turns out this night is going to go well after all.

--

Or not.

“What are we doing here?” Jihoon whisper-yelled. “We’re not supposed to be here!”

They’re in a house that was being built at a suburban part of the city. Jihoon is surprised that Soonyoung stopped right there and asked for him to come out because what the hell are they even doing in a house that is in the middle of construction. This is considered trespassing!

“Oh, come on, Ji.” The blonde waves in dismissal. “Where’s your spirit of adventure, huh?”

“It’s great to go on adventures sometimes but not when you’re going to do something that will get you in jail.” Jihoon’s eyes went wide when Soonyoung acts as if he doesn’t hear and continues wandering inside. “Kwon Soonyoung!” He hissed.

He’s in the kitchen staring at the unfinished tiles with a small smile etched on his face. Jihoon sighs and places his hands on his hips. “Hey, imagine if we get to live in this kind of house, Ji.” He points at the black and white tiles. “We’re probably going to fight about the tile design in every room.”

“Design?” He raised his brow. “You mean this? There’s nothing wrong about this.”

Soonyoung scoffs a laugh. “You serious? It’s too dull. No one would step inside our kitchen looking like this.”

“What? You prefer yellow or any bright colors?”

“What’s wrong with having a yellow kitchen? I think it would look great.”

“It’s too bright to look at. Do you want people to go blind the moment they step inside the kitchen?”

“I’m also thinking about the practicality of it, you know. Having black and white tiles means having to clean the walls frequently than normal.”

“Isn’t it the same for having yellow walls? Having yellow walls would be weird to look at and that would mean using different cheery colors for the living room, the dining room and the hallways too.” Jihoon approaches the tiles, giving it a swipe of a finger. “This kind of tile is not only fitting but also quality product. It’s so smooth and –“ When he hears Soonyoung chuckling, he frowns. “What?”

“I told you we’d be fighting about the tiles.” He muses. “And this isn’t even our house.”

Upon realizing this, Jihoon’s face turns crimson. He bites his lower lip and steps back, frowning. “That’s it. I’m leaving.” He turns on his heel and walks out of the unfinished house, determined to leave as quickly as possible. He refuses to let Soonyoung see him like this. Not when he looks like an overripe tomato.

Soonyoung looks at the younger’s back in amusement then cups his hands over his mouth. “But we haven’t seen the bedroom yet!”

--

So Soonyoung’s dinner plan goes like this.

They lined up to McDonald’s to order four chicken burgers and two large boxes of nuggets then they went to some nearby restaurant and order two bowls of jajangmyeon. Now that they got their food, Soonyoung drove to another fast food restaurant and enters there without a hint of embarrassment and asked for a plate at the counter after ordering two shakes. And yes, that fast food restaurant is KFC if ever you’re wondering.

Jihoon stares at Soonyoung in disbelief as the latter slurps on his noodles like it isn’t a big deal. Said male looks at him when he noticed. “What?”

Instead of voicing out his thoughts, he asked. “Haven’t you had enough of the food back at your rehearsal dinner?”

“Food there tastes like crap. I prefer these any time of the day.” Soonyoung answers after swallowing. He takes a chicken nugget and hovers over his lips. Jihoon accepts it without hesitation. It made Soonyoung grin.

“What do you mean it tastes like crap? They’re delicious!” He takes his shake and takes a light sip. “You should know that not everyone can eat luxurious food like you every day.” Soonyoung absentmindedly mixes his noodles with his metal chopsticks, staring at Jihoon with a small smile. He raised a brow. “What?”

“This is the part where I listen to you while you talk.” Soonyoung stops mixing and takes a nugget. “You have a very beautiful voice, you know?” When Jihoon opens his mouth to protest, he slots it inside, surprising the younger. “Are you perhaps a singer?”

Jihoon furrows his brows. “Composer.” He said, muffled because of the nugget in his mouth. “Lyricist, producer.” He finishes the nugget on his fingers. “I write songs for a living under a company.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung’s brows raised. “Aren’t Producers big shots in the company?”

“I’m still learning.” Jihoon said. It’s true, though despite being a regular employee in K-Entertainment. The president praises him for his artistic works, still the popularity of Park Chanyeol and Min Suga’s works are still above him. He’s working on a song now and he thinks it’s going to be his biggest break yet. It’s nothing to brag about but Soonyoung looks in awe at his profession. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Well, I’m taking my masters in General Accounting.” Soonyoung sighs. “Majoring in Taxation. It’s not that big, really.” He waves in dismissal. “I passed this scholarship exam at Seoul Uni and thought it would be a huge waste if I didn’t use it.”

Jihoon almost chokes on his shake. “Not that big – Soonyoung, you have no idea how huge of a deal that is.” He began to gesture wildly with his fingers. “Not everyone gets to go to a top university as Seoul Uni and not everyone gets to pass their scholarship exams.” Soonyoung cracks a smile.

“It’s not as awesome as your job, though.”

“My job is all based on luck. On the other hand, Accountants get huge loads of money.”  

Soonyoung frowns once again at this and Jihoon stills, thinking that he said something bad. He opens his mouth to remedy the situation when Soonyoung suddenly speaks, “It’s not just about money, you know. I don’t like numbers. Math bores me and analyzing every problems makes me puke.”

“Oh.” Jihoon eyes the almost empty bowl of jajangmyeon at Soonyoung’s side. The chicken burgers remained untouched but Jihoon can still feel how warm they still are beside him. He decided to unwrap one. “Then what do you want to do?”

“I have…” Soonyoung licks his lower lip, contemplating. Then he smiles. “I have a thing for dance.”

“No wonder you have great hip control.”

You can hear a pin drop at that exact moment.

Jihoon’s eyes went wide when he realized what he had said. He never intended to say it out loud. He never intended to bring up what happened that night back again. He swallows hard and picks up his metal chopsticks to stuff his mouth with jajangmyeon, hindering himself from ever talking, afraid whatever Soonyoung might fire at his way. But to his surprise, the blonde just stares at him in amusement.

Jihoon can feel his face heating up but he forced himself to keep his voice leveled. “So… dance? That’s great.” Soonyoung chuckles softly and tilts his head.

He hates to admit it but it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen tonight.

--

It was eleven in the evening when they went back to the hotel.

Soonyoung was supposed to take him back at his room but it was already late and they both know that Seokmin’s in there either sleeping or having late night talks with his girlfriend on phone so Jihoon decided to be a man and take Soonyoung to his private room.

After opening the door, he hears him ask. “So how was it?”

Jihoon looks up at him then blinks, momentarily confused before slowly nodding. “It was weird, but great in some way. I’ve never had a date like that before so everything is very new to me, but it’s safe to say that what we did is very memorable. My favorite so far out of all the cliché dates I’ve been with.”

Soonyoung bashfully smiles. “It was my first time arranging for one, too. And to hear you say that makes me happy.”

Soonyoung is always smug and too smiley filled with energy type of guy that seeing him blush and look shy is something new to him. Nevertheless, he needs to leave. As much as he wants to cherish the moment of seeing another side of Soonyoung, he doesn’t want the blonde to see him in such a similar state. Jihoon clears his throat and points on the back with his thumb. “I-I should go.”

“Okay.” But Soonyoung steps forward and lowers his head, pressing their foreheads together with a soft bump. Jihoon releases a shaky sigh as he downcast his eyes.

“S-Soonyoung.”

“What?”

His heart is beating so fast – erratic and wild like a drum that keeps on banging nonstop. He wants to run and escape but he couldn’t not when Soonyoung is this close and staring at him so intensely. Jihoon wanted to scream but the moment Soonyoung touched his neck, the scream turned into a hush whimper instead. It was like asking for permission and Jihoon did not fight it so as Soonyoung tilts his head up, he complied. And when Soonyoung kissed him, he lets him.

The kiss was a simple press, just an innocent and chaste one enough to give Jihoon an exit if ever he wants out, but his mind was already muddled mess to even think of getting out. Soonyoung slips his hand on the back of his neck and pulls him in as he takes his lower lip. Jihoon sighs at this and tilts his head to gain more access. He can tell that Soonyoung isn’t experienced in kissing but Jihoon couldn’t care any less. Soonyoung’s lips are warm and they taste of chicken burger.

When it was over, Soonyoung has his fingers on his tie and he’s staring at him with those wide and blown eyes while he pants heavily, trying to regain his breath and a bit of his sanity. Kissing Soonyoung made him delirious, something that hasn’t happen to the people he had kissed before. This was new. Definitely new.

“Jihoon.” When Soonyoung said his name in a low and husky voice, he knew he lost it.

So when Soonyoung tugs on his tie to pull him in the room, he lets him. When Soonyoung unbuttons his dress shirt and took off his tie and pants, he lets him. When Soonyoung parts his legs, he lets him. When Soonyoung gave him a hard and searing kiss after pressing him against the bed, damn, he definitely lets him.

And fuck, it feels so good.

Jihoon woke up to arms wrapped around his waist.

It was already morning but the sky is dark. There’s rain tapping on the window gently and he can see the palm trees swaying a bit hard at how strong the wind is. But he could care any less with that not when he feels a bubble of panic rising through his system.

He had sex with Soonyoung.

He had sex with Soonyoung, sober.

This wasn’t a drunken mistake, no. This time, Jihoon liked it. He allowed Soonyoung to break down his walls and enters his defenses easily just like that after years of building and hardships that he went through. Jihoon drags a hand down his face and turns to see Soonyoung still sleeping, his face pressed against his waist when he sits up. Normally if this happens to any of his one night stands, he gets mad and disgusted and leave without another word. But this time, Jihoon feels warm seeing Soonyoung like that and if he could, he could just sit there and watch him until he wakes up.

He slaps his cheeks. No. He needs to leave.

Slowly, he untangles Soonyoung’s arms around him and climbs off the bed careful not to make any sounds. With a yank, he wears his dress shirt after buckling his belt. He has to get them with his foot because it hurts to bend down. Whenever he does, his lower back gives this jolting pain that got him wincing. He’ll just take that as a punishment for this asshole move he’s about to do.

On the bed, Soonyoung is still sleeping soundly and Jihoon feels bitter at the sight. He clenches his fists and took all of his willpower to force his feet to move towards the door.

When he leaves, he doesn’t look back.

Jihoon didn’t leave his room, afraid that he might come across Soonyoung nor did he had lunch with everyone like always. Instead, he ordered room service citing that he wanted to see what the hotel has to offer as a reason when Seokmin asked him about it. He avoids Seungcheol’s invites and Chan’s constant pestering about roaming around the city since he’s the only one who’s obviously free. Instead, he holes himself inside the room, afraid to step out.

Afraid to face Soonyoung.

That afternoon, Jihoon was in the middle of binge watching The Flash when the hotel room opened. Thinking it’s Seokmin, he cranes his neck towards the direction of the door with one brow raised. “Yah, did you eat my potato chips when –“

Soonyoung closes the door softly. “Not Seokmin, sorry.”

The smile on his face dropped and his legs got him to automatically stand up, mouth gaping slightly in surprise. Soonyoung looks dead serious but his eyes are like asking a million questions. Jihoon immediately avoids his gaze and sports a hard expression before sitting down, facing the TV as if Soonyoung isn’t here.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why’d you leave?” He can hear footsteps coming closer. Jihoon takes a deep breath to soothe his heart. “Talk to me, Ji. Tell me why you suddenly upped and left like that?”

Jihoon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Because it’s done.”

Soonyoung furrows his brows in confusion. “What do you mean, it’s done? Jihoon, hey.” He forcefully turns Jihoon to face him when the latter stood up and plans to walk away. “What do you mean, it’s done? What we had there was –“

“You said one night.” Jihoon said through gritted teeth. He looks down and clenches his fist. “You said one night and that’s it. We had our night – You had your night.” He smiles. “And now it’s done. If you have any more questions then –“

“Yeah, I’ve got a few.” Soonyoung closes in and Jihoon panics because he doesn’t think he can keep his façade not when said main is livid as fuck. “So what was last night? I thought you had fun? Because I did and I know as hell that you did, too. I can see it and I don’t give a fuck how many times you deny because I know that you’re lying.”

“It’s true that I had fun last night, no lie, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing more to it.”

“So what? We’ll just disregard everything because that is bull, Jihoon.” Soonyoung releases a frustrated sigh and drags a hand down his face. “Ji, please. I don’t know what the problem is. Did I do something wrong? Did I said something last night that pissed you off? Because if I did, then I’m sorry.” He takes his hand but Jihoon flinches making him drop it. 

No, there’s nothing wrong. In fact, it was perfect. Jihoon’s the problem – he’s the problem and he hates how Soonyoung is acting like he’s the one that did something wrong.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Soonyoung. I get it.” Jihoon runs his fingers through his crimson hair and forces a laugh. “But we – I can’t… you and me just can’t happen.”

Soonyoung furrows his brows. “I-Is it because I’m getting married to Mingyu? Because you know that I said we’re –“

“I know, I know.” Jihoon waves his hands in dismissal. “I know that, it’s just – I’m not into this kind of thing, Soonyoung.” He gestures with his fingers, trying to prove his point. “Why don’t you just go find someone else that’s not going to hurt you?

“Because I love you.”

Jihoon’s heart stutters and from there he knew – he knew he’s totally fucked up. He’s fucked so deep that he knows it’s going to be hard to get out from. And because of that, panic courses through him that he began to shake, unknowing of what to do – of what to think. But he knows he wants Soonyoung to leave. He doesn’t want to see him. “You don’t love me.” He finds himself saying. “You don’t –“

“I love you.” Soonyoung said. “I love you.”

“Stop it.”

“From the first time I saw you, I knew that I want you.” Soonyoung continues despite Jihoon pushing him away.

He scowls. “Quit it, Soonyoung.”

“I want to get to know you. I want you for myself. Before I knew it, I’m in so deep that all I think about from the first morning I wake up and before I go to sleep is you.”

Jihoon gives him a hard push, enough for Soonyoung to stumble back. “I said fucking stop it, Kwon Soonyoung! You can’t love me. You can’t fall in love with somebody in just a week!”

“I love you, Lee Jihoon.” Soonyoung said and there’s a finality in his tone that says he’s dead serious. “I am so in love with you.”

“Well, I don’t.”

And that was enough.

The determination in Soonyoung’s face melted and he’s back into being an unsure and lost boy. It was the first time he’s seen the older male sport an expression like that, so closed off as if he’s building his own walls apart from Jihoon’s. He swallows hard and opens his mouth to say something but remembers that his efforts will all end in vain so he plays it off with a smile. “You should have just said that you don’t instead of you can’t.” He bitterly said. “Could have saved me from the humiliation.”

Jihoon sighs. “Wait, Soonyoung –“

The blonde turns on his heel and walked out of the room, opening the door with a harsh yank but closing it with a soft thud. He’s too nice for his own good, he thinks. If it would have been him, Jihoon would have lashed out even after everything. He doesn’t deserve Soonyoung. He doesn’t.

Turning to face the TV, Jihoon picks up the remote and turns it off.

His love for Soonyoung was doomed from the start. He’s just saving himself from the pain they’re about to go through.

Jihoon didn’t bother counting down the days he’s been avoiding Soonyoung.

He didn’t join them over any gatherings these days and instead keeps himself locked up inside his room. Seungcheol is worried but he assures him that everything’s fine and that he’s just working on with this new song as a reason even if that’s a lie. He feels sorry for lying to his best friend but he really needs to be alone.

The day before the wedding, Jihoon finally decided to go out.

“Oh, look who’s back from the dead!” Seungkwan hooks his arm around his head while dragging him towards the long table where they usually sit. He can hear the teases and jibes from the others. Seungkwan forced him to sit next to him, which is supposed to be where Hansol is. Hansol lets him, though, and instead steals Seokmin’s seat just so he can sit next to Seungkwan.

“So anything new while I was gone?” He asks.

Jun, who’s on his right, grins. “Oh, nothing’s new. It’s common nowadays that we’re not complete whenever we eat together.” He raised a finger. “Although, lately it’s been Mingyu who just comes down to eat with us. Then Jeonghan-hyung asked us to go bar hopping yesterday.” He shrugs. “He looks really happy, too.” 

Jihoon furrows his brows. “Wait, Soonyoung didn’t come join you here?”

Jun blinks. “Err… no? Just Mingyu. He said Soonyoung’s been busy nowadays. The wedding is tomorrow so of course everything’s going to be hectic.”

Jihoon tuned down Jun as he talks about how everyone around him are excited about the wedding and that there are actually more guests about to arrive later this afternoon and tomorrow so this hotel is going to be packed. His mind keeps on going back to Soonyoung – hell, there’s never been a day that he didn’t think of Soonyoung.

Fucking, dammit.

Jihoon stares at nowhere in particular, lounging at the benches near the beach when he feels someone takes a seat next to him. Didn’t even bother turning his head not until he feels something cold pressed against his cheek. It was Jisoo with that charming grin, looking at him with head tilted slightly to the side.

He accepted the flash, twists the cap and takes a sip, wincing. “Bourbon.” He rasps.

The older of the two grins. “You look like you needed it.”

Jihoon huffs a laugh and takes another gulp, making face at the taste. He can never get used to the burn in his throat whenever he drinks that. Unlike him, Jisoo downs his with ease. It doesn’t look like it, but damn guy takes his liquor really well. “So you and Soonyoung… how did that happen?”

He chokes on his drink. And it hurts because he can literally feel the burn in his throat. “W-What?”

Jisoo shrugs. “I put two and two together. You two are really obvious.” Then he pauses. “And then Seungcheol told us so that only solidify our suspicions so…“

“Dammit, Seungcheol.” Jihoon throws his head back and groans. Jisoo softly laughs. “I trusted that bastard.” He takes another swig of the bourbon, muttering a curse at the taste. “So what? You think I’m a terrible person now? I fooled around with an engaged man.”

“For a Christian as myself, yes I do believe that you’re a terrible man.” He answers. “Marriage is sacred, Jihoon and you three, including Mingyu, and playing around with it. However, as a friend,” He clicks his tongue. “I think you’re a disappointment.”

Jihoon furrows his brows. “What do you mean, disappointment?”

Jisoo hums and takes the flask. “You hurt someone by not being true to yourself.” He said, oddly calm for scolding someone. Nevertheless, it made Jihoon feel ashamed for himself. “Not only did you broke Soonyoung’s heart, you also broke yours.”

When Jihoon didn’t respond, Jisoo sighs. “I was afraid too, you know. Coming out, I mean.” He stares ahead with a small smile. “Not only was their only son gay, he’s also in love with two men. Five years in and my parents still doesn’t know about Seungcheol and whenever I go home to visit, Jeonghan’s the only one who comes with me. It’s like he’s some dirty little secret that I never want to reveal and it sucks because I know Seungcheol deserves much more.”

 “Y-You’re different. I’m…” Jihoon clenches his fists. “I’m a coward.”

“You’re not.” Jisoo hums. “You’re just scared to get hurt. You’re scared that you might end up losing Soonyoung over the bullshit that is life. You’re scared that if one day Soonyoung leaves, you wouldn’t know what to do anymore.”

It pisses Jihoon that every sentence Jisoo said is like a hammer hitting a nail against his head because everything is so right and painfully accurate. He mocks Soonyoung for falling in love with someone in a short amount of time when in actuality, he’s mocking himself. But like Jisoo said, he’s afraid. He’s afraid to find out what will happen to him – what kind of a monster he will be if he and Soonyoung get together.

He’s also afraid of what Soonyoung can do to him.

“If he can’t take this marriage with Mingyu seriously even if it’s arranged, then how will I know if he takes me seriously?” He whispers.

“It’s a question I can’t answer for only Soonyoung himself can answer that.” Jihoon sags his shoulders. He’s expecting the older to give a wise answer. “But in my experience of loving someone, I always keep this question in my mind whenever I had doubts.”

Jihoon raised a brow. “And what’s that?”

“Is he worth the risk?”

It was like a trigger.

From that question alone, it’s like the thousand questions that run in his mind were suddenly answered. Jihoon suddenly stands up, eyes wide in realization as if has been slapped. He looks back and forth at Jisoo and the path leading to the hotel. “I – I need to go… like right now.”

“Okay.” Jisoo smiles.

Jihoon nods at this and sprints off only to stop midway and comes back, taking the flask from Jisoo’s hand to drink all of its contents in one sitting. The older male stares at him as if he’s crazy. Sure enough, regret comes hitting him like a freight train because the burn in his throat is so intense it made him cough wildly. “Fucking hell, I needed that.” He croaks then he runs.

He runs to Soonyoung.

Interlude:

“Are you sure he’ll like me?”

“Soonyoung likes everyone. If he doesn’t like someone, then that person must be really terrible.” Mingyu knocks on the door twice before turning the knob and opening it. “Hyung?” He whispers. “Soonyoung-hyung?” He gestures for the person behind him to come inside before closing the door. “You here?”

Their shared hotel room, which was booked by their parents for them, is a big suite enough to live in it like an apartment. There’s a huge tub and a Jacuzzi at the balcony with an ambience of a jungle (also includes a shelf with assorted bath bombs to choose from.) And yes, let’s not forget the mini bar. Oh, Mingyu loved the drinks in there. But despite that, they still prefer to use their own private rooms (which their parents didn’t know they booked) because of personal reasons.

Mingyu holds a hand out behind him, which the man behind him took, before venturing towards the living room. The sight before him made him freeze.

500 days of summer is playing on TV and it’s close to the end – that scene where the two leads are talking on the park bench – and sitting on the bean bag beside the coffee table is none other than Kwon Soonyoung himself, holding a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a spoon between his lips as he sobs hysterically.

“Why c-can’t you just b-be together?” Soonyoung sobs before taking the spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

Mingyu looks at the man behind him. “I got this.” He mouths before approaching the blonde. “Hey, hyung. What are you doing here?” He slowly crept beside the older. “Thought you didn’t like hanging out here.”

“I’ve been here for days, Mingyu.” Soonyoung sniffles. “I can’t go back in my room not when the bed smells like Jihoon.” The name looks like some sort of a trigger because Soonyoung is back to being a sobbing mess. “Why does things have to be so goddamn complicated?!” He wails.

Mingyu clears his throat nervously. “Ah, hyung… I know it’s uh – bad time but…” He gestures for the man to come closer, which he did. “I want you to meet my boyfriend, Wonwoo.” He smiles.

Wonwoo, also known as the reason why he prefers his private room, bows his head and offers a man a shake. Despite the poker face, he looks nervous. Shy, even. “I-I’m Jeon Wonwoo and you must be Kwon Soonyoung. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Soonyoung sniffles and slowly looks up. His face is puffy and red and from this angle. In other words, he looks horrifying in this state greatly contradicting the picture he showed his boyfriend. Nevertheless, Mingyu is relieved that Wonwoo has a genuine smile on his face.

“I would shake your hand but…” Soonyoung looks down on his hand that’s covered with snot at the back from all the crying. Wonwoo reaches out to give his shoulder a pat instead. Mingyu inwardly coos. “You look too handsome to be Mingyu’s boyfriend.” He sniffles. “Are you sure you’re not paid?”

“Yah.”

“Mingyu couldn’t afford me if I am,” Wonwoo smirks at said male. Mingyu laughs.

Soonyoung looks between the two of them with a small smile. “You two look cute.” Then his lips wobble again as tears began to pool in his eyes. “You look so cute – goddamit, why won’t Jihoon love me?” He bawls out crying after he said that, digging into his tub of ice cream.

Mingyu and Wonwoo shared a look.

“Do you –“ Wonwoo bites his lower lip. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It took a minute or two of sniffles before Soonyoung lowers his head and whispers, “Yes, please.”

Wonwoo’s eyes went wide. He looks at Mingyu. “He’s so adorable. Can we keep him?” He mouths.

Mingyu frowns. “No.”

It was seven in the evening when he received a call from Jihoon.

Soonyoung froze, not knowing on what to do. Jihoon never called him nor is he the first one to instigate any means of communication. He takes a deep breath, or rather, fast short hiccupy breaths because he’s panicking. Finally, he stops and takes a deep, very deep breath and answers.

Okay, Kwon. Make it snappy. You’re still mad at him. Don’t act like a puppy craving for attention. Give a fucking strong and masculine growl and tell him to fuck off.

“Hello?”

Dammit, Kwon.

“Let’s talk.”

“Talk?” Soonyoung frowns and switches his phone on his other ear. “You want to talk on the phone?”

“I-I mean, if you want to.”

Soonyoung tugs off his tie. He just got out from dinner with his parents. Mingyu looks antsy from telling his parents about wanting to break off the engagement but when it fell through, Soonyoung decided to just do it on the day of the wedding. He was in a light mood then when they left but then this happened. He released a frustrated sigh. “That’s bullshit.”

“Look, I just... I miss you, okay? I miss us.”

“There is no us because you made it clear that you don’t want an ‘us’.” He scowls and walks out of the room. He needs to take a breather. This conversation alone is stressing him out. The elevator dings after it opens and he immediately stepped inside and presses ground floor. “And you can’t just call me and say that you miss me. That’s unfair! You have no right after what you did to me that time.”

Jihoon takes a long pause and Soonyoung took that opportunity to end the call.

When he reached the beach, Soonyoung had this strong urge to throw away his phone when it suddenly rings again. He scowls and presses answer. “Listen, you can’t say you miss me over the phone. That’s not right.” His grip on his phone went tight. “If you really do miss me, say it in person. Tell it to me. Right here, right now. Say how much you missed me.”

“I miss you.”

He froze.

Jihoon stands there behind him with a phone pressed against his ear, staring at Soonyoung as if he’s seeing a ghost. Soonyoung schools the same expression as him. He furrows his brow. “J-Jihoon.”

“I miss you.” He repeats. “Ever since you left me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. From the first morning I wake up and from the night before I go to sleep, all I kept thinking about is you.” Soonyoung tries to distract himself by pressing end on the call.

“You can’t miss me.” He scoffs a laugh. “It’s just a few days since –“

“I was afraid of us… of what will happen to us because I am so in love with you, I don’t know what I’d do if one day you’ll leave because you got tired of me.” Jihoon has tears pricking in his eyes and it hurts to blink. “A-And I don’t care if you think it’s too late because I’m going to say it over and over even after you pushed through the wedding with Mingyu to spite me. I’m in love with you, Kwon Soonyoung.”

When Soonyoung didn’t answer, Jihoon bites his lower lip to stop it from trembling. But then he hears it, even if it’s just a tiny bit. The words that Soonyoung whispers under his breath.

“I love you, too.”

There are tears forming in every blink of Soonyoung’s eyes and Jihoon feels weak on his knees. Never did he see Soonyoung cry. This is the first time did he ever saw Soonyoung cry and Jihoon’s not sure if what kind of tears are they.  He balls his hands into a fist and takes a step forward.

“Wait.”

He froze.

Soonyoung’s bangs falls on his eyes, his hands thrusted forward telling him to stop. “I-I’m warning y-you…” He shakily sighs. “If you come to me, you’re not allowed to leave me…ever.” After saying this, his lips trembled. “I’m n-not fucking j-joking, Jihoon. I’m –“  

Jihoon takes a few steps before breaking into a sprint, running towards Soonyoung. The blonde male scooped him in his arms and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Soonyoung feels warm – hell, he always feels warm and Jihoon fits easily into his arms like he’s meant to be there. Jihoon curls his fingers on the back of Soonyoung’s shirt and presses his face against his chest.

“There’s no backing out now.” Soonyoung murmurs against his hair. “I won’t let you.”

Jihoon looks up, chuckling. “Shut up and kiss me already.”

Soonyoung smiles, his eyes disappearing into slits as he cups his face with his sweater paws. His lips are cold just as the weather but it’s soft and sweet, just like strawberry. But then Soonyoung breaks the kiss and frowns. “You smell like booze.”

“Just keep kissing me, idiot.” He hissed and pulls his head down to meet his lips.

“I wanted to go to your room in the afternoon to apologize but I accidentally burnt my throat after downing Jisoo’s flask of Bourbon so I had no choice but to delay it.”

“Oh, Ji. You’re an idiot.”

“We both are.”

“A perfect match, aren’t we?”  

“Fucking hell, are you sure?”

“Ji, come on.”

“Like, are we really going to break everything first? Why don’t we wait for a little more, hmm? Let’s wait for Mingyu and Wonwoo to come before we go.”

“Mingyu and I are betting on who’s going to be first and hell, I’m not risking the life time supply of chicken barbecue for nothing.” Soonyoung laughs.

Jihoon has his fingers tight on the wheel, staring hard at the people coming in the hotel lobby, old and young alike. He’s still parked in front, the valet waiting patiently for them to get out. He would have been pissed if not seeing Soonyoung. After all, his family were the one who rented the whole venue. But at this moment, he doesn’t care about that. Jihoon’s minutes away to walk towards his death.

“Ji, hey.” He faces Soonyoung on the passenger seat, a comforting smile on his face despite his eyes gleaming in amusement. “We’re going to be fine. Sure, they’ll talk behind our backs for a long period of time,” Jihoon swallows hard. “But it’ll be worth it, promise.”

“Your family’s going to hate me. How is it worth it?”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Because you’re dating me, duh. Now, come on.”

Jihoon’s eyes widens when Soonyoung unbuckles his belt and pushes him outside after opening the car door. Soonyoung followed suit, climbing out through the driver’s side (because duh, Soonyoung’s so flexible) and he grabs both of his shoulders make him stay put. “Sorry for the wait,” He gave the keys to the valet before pushing him inside.

They didn’t expect this so many people.

He hears Soonyoung’s breath hitched at the sight. Seungcheol wasn’t kidding when he told him that all of Soonyoung and Mingyu’s family, even the distant relatives, would come. If they dropped the bomb that they won’t follow through the arrange marriage anymore, it’ll be a disaster. It must have scared Soonyoung because the blonde is slowly backing away.

“Jihoon, I –“

Jihoon smiles and reaches for his hand, holding it tight.

Soonyoung looks down on their intertwined hands before looking at him, this time, with renewed vigor and determination in his eyes. He takes a step forward so that he’s beside him before giving his hand a light squeeze as silent thanks. He can still feel his heart beating wildly in nervousness as Soonyoung leads him inside the lobby. To be honest, what they’re about to do is definitely considered a fuck up…

“Mom, Dad…” Soonyoung captures his parent’s attention. “I’ve got something to say.”

But this has got to be the best fuck up he ever made.