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Akira rolled his eyes for what seemed the four hundredth time that day. Ms Kawakami was droning on about something, something about the soul he thinks, he wasn’t really paying attention to her, all his focus was on his phone where he was texting Ryuji about meeting up later together. They had planned to spend some time with just each other as between the metaverse, exams, and the phantom thieves finally being recognised as not a prank, it’d been tough for the two best friends to say anything else that wasn’t about a heist or training, so Akira was excited like you wouldn’t believe, even Ryuji who normally was a fountain of energy in the group, he seemed like he had even more today which made Akira smile.
Dude!
What we doing today? I was thinking maybe we could play some more Punch Ouch!
I’m thinking we can finally clear level 3 man!
You always want to play that game.
Besides we can’t go to Leblanc, Sojiro’s having some special event or something for national coffee day.
Ah cmon dude!
We gotta show that game who’s boss round here!
You do realise that it isn’t a real person right?
SHUT UP!!
Akira had to stop himself from chuckling out loud, he looked around making sure no one had heard him laugh, no one seemed like they did, they were all off in their own worlds, even Ms Kawakami. He looked again down to his phone when he felt a new message come through
So, what we doing?
If Leblanc’s outta the picture
I’m not sure.
He thought about suggesting going for ramen or to the arcade but they both knew someone from the group would be there and honestly they really wanted some alone time, even Morgana was going to be with Futaba for the day.
We could go to my place if you want.
Or not, I don’t mind.
Akira stared at the screen, unsure of what to say. Ryuji never suggested going to his place, it was always Leblanc, arcade, heck even one day he suggested the school library instead of going home. He must really want to be away from everyone else. The nonchalance was a defence mechanism, Akira had come to realise, a life time of people looking down on him, beating him down had reduced him to act defensive even with his best friend, Akira swore to try and fix some of those insecurities.
Do we want to buy fresh manga?
Hell no! I got us some new ones the other day
Shit the teacher’s looking my way dude, meet you outside your room!
Akira tried to keep in his laugh sometimes his friend just managed to drag them out of him, he quickly turned it into a cough when the classroom turned around, Ann turned around and winked at him which made his face go as red as her Phantom Thieves clothing.
XXX
“Sooooooo” Ann said as she gravely packed away her things “Where are you and lover boy gonna go?” She said looked back over her shoulder, seeing Akira’s fingers stumble ever so slightly, so knew of his crush on Ryuji, how the other boy didn’t she had no idea, Akira was always asking him if he was doing alright, making sure he was okay, if he had a bad day he’d be there to help, if Morgana was giving him a bit too much shit, he’d step in to end it. It was sweet. And gross.
“We’re going to read some manga” Akira quickly packed away his bag, wanting to leave, ever since he told Ann about his evening with just Ryuji, she’d lit up about his ‘date’ and since then constantly pestering him about admitting to Ryuji his feelings.
“Is that all you’re going to do?” She asked him winking
“Yes Ann, goodbye Ann” He said, quickly walking out the room, he heard her scoff and follow behind him. He would have said something to her hadn’t Ryuji come running to them, he planted deeply and looked up to Akira with that god forsaken beautiful smile of his. Seriously, it could have been used to illuminate a blackout, Akira chuckled to himself at that thought, Ryuji noticed and stood up straight
“Hey! You laughing at me?!” Ryuji puffed out his chest, making Akira laugh more so
“Sometimes Ryuji, you’re so funny and you don’t even see it” Akira cut off talking, afraid he might something about his crush, it was definitely a crush, there was no way that Ryuji blushing right now because of him is making Akira feel all warm inside
“S-shut up man!” Ryuji hid his face away from everyone, he didn’t want anyone to see him acting girly or some shit. Ann pushed her way past Akira and smiled at Ryuji, giving a sidelong look at Akira
“Akira said you were going to read some manga?” She said, making her way out the school, the boys following behind
“Yeah, just chill or some crap” Ryuji said, arms behind his head “What about you Ann?”
“Yusuke and Makoto’s invited me to go see some art exhibition, something about ‘the modern day struggle of plants’. I mean I don’t know how they’re struggling they don’t have to worry about money, or school, or making sure Shadows don’t kill you!” Ann turned around to hear the other two snickering behind her “Hey! It’s not funny you know!” She scowled at them both, she was about to say something else to them when an announcement came through
“We regret to say, but the trains will experience a short delay, we thank passengers for their patience” the announcement ended to the chorus of annoyed people wondering what was going on.
“Do you think it’s those breakdowns again?” Ryuji asked, poised to spring into action
“I don’t think so, if it was, we’d have heard about it by now” Ann said, both watching Akira, who nodded, agreeing with Ann. They breathed a sigh of relief “I want a drink!” Ann said loudly, grabbing Ryuji’s hand “we’ll bring you something back!” She shouted back to Akira, dragging a spluttering Ryuji with her.
XXX
“What’s the big idea Ann!” Ryuji growled at her, already having feeling about what was going to be asked of him
“So you’re doing it today right?”
“Jeez you don’t mess about, do you?”
“Ryuji!” She semi shouted, earning a glare from the owner
“I am! And I am shitting myself over here, okay?!” Ryuji said, going a bit pale
“Don’t worry, he’s going to return your feelings, I promise!”
“But what if he doesn’t” Ryuji looked at the ground, they hadn’t see each other much since middle school, but even then, Ann could see he was shy and timid at heart “What if I fuck everything up, I’ll lose the best thing that ever happened to me”
“Ryuji, I promise you okay? No you need to stop doubting yourself, you’re quite the catch yourself” he scoffed at that “I’m serious! If I didn’t know how deeply you cared for Akira, I’d jump you” he laughed at that, which made her smile “take for example, when you got hit hard that one time in Mementos?” They bother shuddered at that memory, it was the first time they’d seen Akira that ruthless, it was one time they actually felt bad for a shadow
“He gets that way with everyone though” Ryuji, began looking at the drinks dotted around them
“Not that serious Ryuji, he was yelling at me and Morgana to heal you, you should have seen him”
“.....Do you really think so?” He asked, he seemed so small, so scared, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it tight
“I know so!” She smiled, trying to push all of her positive energy over to him, he returned her smile.
XXX
Akira and Ryuji both walked up the stairs to his apartment, there had been a silence that fell over both people, unsure of what to say, both wanting to confess their love for the other. Akira had been to Ryuji’s apartment once, when he’d got hurt in Mementos and Akira wouldn’t be happy unless he watched him fall asleep, he shook that memory away, knowing Ryuji was safe and here.
“Mom! We’re home!” Ryuji shouted, Akira was slightly jealous of that aspect of their relationship, his own mother would have scorned him if he walked in and shouted at the top of his lungs
“Welcome home Ryu! And it’s lovely to see you Akira!” A brown haired woman popped her head out smiling at both boys. They both began taking off their bags and shoes, chatting quietly when Ryuji’s eyes went massive and he paled, Akira turned to look at what had silenced his friend, only seeing a brown book sitting at the table.
“Ryuji?” Akira asked, waving his hand in front of his friends face, who still wouldn’t drop his gaze from the book “Ryuji, what’s wrong?” Still nothing from the rebel. This was starting to worry Akira, he heard Ryuji’s mom walk in from the other, a smirk on her face, What was happening here? Ryuji quickly turned to Akira
“H-Hey lets get that ramen, y-yeah?” He said, trying to tie his shoes back on quickly
“No, stay in, I’m leaving for work soon anyway” Ryuji’s said smiling, she sat down on the sofa, holding the book in one hand, and patting the free space with her other hand. Akira was sure that whatever was in that book, it was not nice. He had a past experience with such things, he absently rubbed his fingers, but Ryuji’s mother seemed lovely, whenever he spoke about her, he always wore a loving smile, sometimes Akira felt like he could feel that smile aimed at him, but that was just wishful thinking. With a groan, Ryuji took off his shoes again and sat down next to his mother, Akira also sat down with them, ready to get out with Ryuji just in case. Now Akira could see the book up close, see the worn edges and see the golden letter stitched in saying ‘Memories’. Now it was sort of making sense.
“This is a picture of Ryuji, when he was 5 years old” She said, turning to mid way through the book. A little boy with brown hair was sat on a park bench holding an ice cream, grinning at the camera, his shirt was absolutely drenched in the drippings of the ice cream. Akira smiled, looking at how cute he was, he stopped looking when he saw the bruises poking out from his arm holes in his shirt. Ryuji’s mother flipped the page again, it was once of her and him stood by a car.
“This was our first car, Ryuji wanted to drive it so badly” She said, looking at Akira, they both shared a laugh
“I’m going to the toilet!” Ryuji loudly announced stomping off, Akira wanted to shout after him but thought better of it. He turned his attention to the picture again, he could see even more bruises threatening to poke out. Even his mother was sporting s bruise that went up the side of her face. God he wanted to find his father and just, just, just. He didn’t want to finish that thought, knowing what he’d do to that monster.
“I’m sorry” Akira said, looking down at the picture, Ryuji’s mother didn’t say anything back, only turning further into the book. Did he say something wrong? He hoped he didn’t offend her, when he turned to look at her, ready for the slap, the shout, the threats, he only saw Love.
“It’s in the past now” she said smiling, she pointed at the new picture bringing Akira’s attention back to the book. “ This is when he first started dyeing his hair” inside the picture was a frantic Ryuji trying to shut the door whist his mother laughed and snapped a quick picture of his face and part of the door. Akira chuckled at the man, they both did, realising that sometimes he tends to overreact “he thought he could hide it from me, but a mother knows” she said, looking at Akira, he suddenly felt so raw, so open, like she could see everything about him. She reached out her hand but pulled it back slightly when she saw him flinch, she looked at him sadly, it all felt too much, another parent rejecting him. But he knew how to wear a strong face.
They both heard Ryuji stomp back into the living room, a fixed scowl on his face “You done laughing at me?” He said, stood there aloof, not meeting either of their looks
“We weren’t laughing at you, I was showing you off if anything, I bet Akira’s parents do the same don’t they?” She smiled at him, he didn’t know what to say to her or Ryuji so he just nodded, hoping that they’d buy it. They did “see! No I have to be going” she stood up, placing the book on the coffee table “Dinner is in the fridge, I didn’t know you were coming Akira until I got a message as soon as I covered it” she glared at her son who turned away “But I think we have some bread or rice, just make yourself something, again I am sorry”
“It’s no problem, thank you” he smiled at her, he’d grab something back at Leblanc, he didn’t want to be an inconvenience.
“Now you two have a good evening, I will see you soon Akira and I will see you tomorrow morning Ryu” she leaned over giving her son a kiss on the check who flailed his arms and groaned but still smiled to himself, she laughed at her sons antics, she gave them both a wave and walked out.
XXX
A peaceful silence fell over the apartment, both boys were reading their mangas, Ryuji would occasionally laugh at something, bringing it over to Akira’s face and reading the passage out loud to him, he’d then slip back, waiting to find something else that could make Akira laugh. Even since his mother left, Akira had clammed up, he face was neutral and he would only smile and never laugh, it was starting to freak Ryuji out. When for the third time he found a funny moment and showed it to Akira who did nothing but smile, Ryuji snapped.
“Cmon man! What’s wrong?” He asked, throwing the manga on the floor which made Akira jump
“What? Nothing, just thinking is all” Akira said, turning back to his manga
“Bullshit, you haven’t turned the page in ages now, what’s going on”
“It’s nothing, okay?”
“Bullshit, just tell me dude” Ryuji stood up, walking over to Akira
“It’s nothing!” Akira begun to get flustered, he tried to hide it by looking down at his feet
“Just tell me, jeez it’s not hard!” He grabbed Akira’s shoulder, forcing him to look at him
“Look I’m just thinking about some stuff okay!” He shrugged of Ryuji’s hand, instantly feeling guilty when he saw the hurt expression on his face.
“I’m sorry” a quiet voice said, sitting further away, god Akira was a dick, here his was trying to help and all he did was throw it back in his face
“Ryuji I-“
“It’s okay, I know I can be a bit loud, annoying” he said, his hand shaking. Akira could stand him looking so sad, especially when he was the one who caused it
“I’m jealous.”
“What?” Ryuji didn’t look up from his manga, causally flipping the pages
“I’m jealous of you and your mother” Akira said, the whole world stopped for them both. Ryuji could have sworn he had heard Akira say he was jealous of him, but there was no way he was, right? Akira quickly stood up and walked over to the door, “I should go” he said, already turning the door to the living room
“Wait!” Ryuji shouted out, Akira stopped and looked over, his eyes glistening slightly “we need to try out that new game I bought, ‘it’s a fighting game cmon man! You’ll love it!” He said throwing out his biggest smile. Akira gave one back
“Sure”.
They had played for ages, Akira was no good and eventually just let Ryuji play the solo mode, sometimes he’d give him the controller to finish someone but ended up failing more than anything. Ryuji wouldn’t laugh at him or anything would just shout “he cheated! I watched it!” His loud antics made Akira laugh. Up what made him laugh more so was the grumbling of Ryuji’s stomach
“Hungry?” Akira raised an eyebrow at him
“The only thing I’m hungry for is this guys blood!” He shouted, throwing his opponent into the wall, the words ‘VICTORY’ came upon the screen, Ryuji fist bumping the air “Yes dude! Been trying to different him for ages!” He turned to Akira who was laughing
“Maybe I’m your good luck charm” he said smirking at Ryuji bright red face
“Maybe” He said quickly “let’s eat!” He said springing up, pulling Akira with him “let’s see what I can find for you” he said walking into the kitchen and looking in the first cupboard
“I don’t want to be a bother, I’ll get something at Leblanc’s or something” Akira followed after him, spotting the big book again, he walked over to it, staring intently at it
“Nah man! Cmon I’ll give you half of mine and then we’ll find something to go with it” He said, poking his head out, he smiled at the other boy who was busy looking at his family photo album “that okay with you dude?” He said, making the other jump
“Y-Yes, sounds great” he looked again at the book
“You want to flick some more embarrassing pictures of me?” Ryuji smirked at the other boy’s stuttering
“N-n-no! Just think it’s a nice book”
“Pfff every family has them” Ryuji said nonchalantly but he looked at Akira seeing the boy’s breath hitch slightly, between the constant looking at the book, the sadness in his eyes and just now the hitch, Ryuji came to one conclusion “Yours has one right?” He said shutting the cupboard and coming to sit out with Akira
“Oh yeah, it’s massive, got loads of pictures in it, what we having to eat I’m staving!” Ryuji didn’t buy it for a second and decided to press it, he knew that sometimes it’s better to let it out
“Akira....” he touched his friends shoulder, squeezing it and rubbing it gently, trying to convey some love and support, it seemed like it was working when he saw Akira put his head down and he spoke softly
“It is a big one” he took a deep breath, it sounded watery “j-j-just I’m not in any of the pictures” he finished, Ryuji’s hand stopped, he wasn’t in any of his family’s pictures? Why? “Is it okay if we just talk about something else?” Akira said, his hands twisting, he wanted to find out why, but he knew when to leave things alone
“Yeah sure” he stood up and left the room, thinking Akira needed some alone time, he wasn’t good at this feelings shit, he half wanted to ask Ann to tell Akira for him but he couldn’t do that, she’d refuse/murder him. He reheated the food and dishes out on two plates, it seemed a little bit small, just meant they’d have to eat a lot of junk food to make up for it. Ryuji walked out carrying both plates, he placed one in the hands of Akira who mumbled a thank you. They ate in silence, Ryuji tried to get Akira to talk but nothing worked so he stopped trying, when he was like this earlier he said he wanted to think so Ryuji let him. Once they were both done, Ryuji reached for the plates but Akira stopped him him
“My family hate me.” He said as matter of factly, Ryuji put his hand down and looked at him, there was no way his family hate him, he’s perfect.
“There’s no way they hate you dude, maybe you guys just don’t get along?” Akira shook his head
“When my dad found out about the court case, he was furious, said I fucked up his business” Akira sucked in a breath, Ryuji held his hand
“You don’t need to tell me” he could see the pain the other boy was going through
“It’s okay, I want to, I trust you” Ryuji’s heart stopped, Akira trusted him. Him! The delinquent! So he let him go on “He stormed into my room, I was stood by my dresser. He grabbed me by the throat and held me up” Akira’s fingers brushed over his throat to make sure thee fingers he spoke off weren’t there again and he could breathe “I tried to get him to put me down but he refused to let go, it made him angrier, he slammed me back into the wall”
“Breathe Akira, breathe” Ryuji rubbed his shoulder
“I honestly thought I was going to die, I could see white spots appearing, my cousin heard the clamour and his shouting. She ran in and shouted to put me down, he did as she said but not before squeezing tighter. He turned to her and offered her fifty thousand yen to walk out the door and to ignore anything of this. She said money upfront.” Ryuji tightened his hold on Akira “when he was done an hour later, I could barely breathe or move, my mom walked by and saw me, she just closed the door and spoke with my father about my accident” Akira finished, tears dripping silently down his face
“Fuck man...” Ryuji knew his father was a bastard but his other family was amazing, they all loved him, sure some were dicks but some loved him Akira had none of that, he was about to talk when Akira spoke some more
“When I was a baby, they didn’t take any pictures of me, said I was a mistake, too thin, too gawky. All the family photos don’t have me in them, when I was ten I tried to dash in to become part of it, they didn’t feed me for two days because of that.” Akira looked at Ryuji with tears “I’m sorry”
“What for?” He asked softly
“I’m supposed to be the fucking leader here, and here I am crying like a bitch, I’m sorry man, it’s I got s letter from them” Akira took big gulps of air “they said about me going home after this year”
“You’re not going back”
“What?” Akira said, wiping his eyes
“You’re not going to back to them fuckers!” Ryuji shouted “I can’t believe they’d be so fucking awful, I swear to god, they will never have you again, you can live at Leblanc, or here with me, heck I’ll pay for you to live somewhere else, then you are never going back there” Ryuji hugged his best friend, feeling the tears stream
“I’m sorry, I was jealous of you and your mom” Akira said, whispering I’m sorry over and over
“You have nothing to be sorry for dude, I have it sometimes, seeing s kid with his dad, I sometimes wonder if he was around I would be less of a fuck up”
“Don’t you ever say that about yourself” Ryuji looked to see Akira’s steel resolve “you’re amazing, kind, funny, caring, smart and so much more. Never changed Ryuji, please” Akira held onto him
“I love you” Ryuji stiffened, he had just said those words he meant to all night, when his best friend was breaking. Was he taking advantage of him, oh god he was the worst.
“I love you too” Ryuji looked to feel soft lips against his, stained with tears. He looked at the other boy and fist bumped the air making the other laugh
“You really love me?” He asked cautiously, not feeling like he heard it right
“With all my heart” Akira affirmed, Ryuji too begun to cry, ever since meeting Akira his life had done a one eighty turn, where he had no friends, he had too many to count, where he was scared of being unloved, he now had the perfect boyfriend, Ryuji wasn’t religious but he felt like there was a god if had Akira in his life, they both kissed again and held each other tightly.
An idea sprung to his head, he ran into the kitchen checking all the draws
“Ryuji?” Akira asked after him, enjoying their make out session
“Just a sec! Aha!” He come back in holding an old camera, he turned it on Akira who laughed “smile dude!” FLASH, Akira blinked his eyes as Ryuji was fanning the photo, as his eyesight came back Ryuji shouted again “smile!” Thankfully the flash wasn’t on this time and Akira could see
“What are they for?” He asked smiling
“Well um” Ryuji scratched his head unsure if his idea was actually any good “I wanted to add you too our family album book, if that was okay” Ryuji looked at the pictures held in his hand
“Oh Ryuji” Akira wrapped his hands around the other boy “that’s beautiful, thank you” He said holding him tighter
“Thank you, for being a part of my family” Ryuji kissed him on the forehead as he wrote on the back of one of the pictures, ‘the love of my life’