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The sunlight poured in fully, tipped by a heavy hand, filling the room generously with streams of sweet gold. Alex could feel the heat behind her eyelids as she stirred from what felt like the deepest and heaviest sleep. Her muscles felt loose and languid, almost to the point of liquid, and she shifted slightly to try to get her bearings. Everything felt calm and lazy, and despite the sun’s happy greeting, she was so tempted to ignore the break of day and allow herself to get pulled under by the fatigue still calling her name. Before she could take another breath, a pair of strong, capable arms wrapped around her, squeezing her slightly as a soft sigh resonated in her ear.
Her eyes snapped open in wide-eyed panic. Sam.
Instantly, Alex felt her body stiffen as she glanced over tentatively to where her gorgeous sleeping companion’s face lay inches from her own. Alex brought her hand over her eyes to suppress the shameful re-imaginings of the previous night’s events, but they came rushing back in chaotic and blurry order with little room for explanation. She attempted to stifle her nervousness as she studied her surroundings, trying in vain to plan her exit strategy. Her eyes landed on Sam’s face, which was perfectly relaxed without a wrinkle of worry as her breaths came soft and even, indicating she was still very much asleep.
“Don’t stop…” Alex breathed into Sam’s ear, clutching at her surprisingly strong, muscular back. She could feel her fingers digging into Sam’s skin, but she was merely rewarded for her tension by Sam picking up the pace between her legs. “Oh, fuck…”
She could feel Sam’s tongue along her neck, and her fingers pulsing feverishly where Alex needed it the most, and suddenly she was falling, falling, falling…
Oh, fuck.
This was still a fairly new development in their already complicated friendship, and as Alex languished over the details of last night’s escapades, she could feel her cheeks flush with every thought of Sam’s body against her own. Every smooth touch and every inch of salt slicked skin set her mind ablaze with even more desire. She definitely didn’t regret it, much like she hadn’t regretted the first time, or the second, or the third. Only, this was the first time she’d stayed overnight, in Sam’s bed, with her, and that was definitely dangerous territory.
She looked over at Sam again, and despite her reservations, she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. It was only supposed to be temporary. But Alex should have known better, should have known she would be hooked from the start. Sam was strong in all the right ways, a physical specimen that Alex couldn’t help but be attracted to. She was tall and lean and her body was nothing short of spectacular. Alex bit her lip to keep from moaning at the thought. But it was something else -- some inner source of light that made Sam special. Something behind her deep, rich brown eyes that made Alex feel that old familiar feeling twist in her stomach, and flutter in her chest. And it was that same rush of emotions that made her want to run from this bed and never look back.
Before she could get that far, an alarm began blaring and Alex was forced to freeze in terror.
She closed her eyes, because she couldn’t think of anything else to do, and she felt Sam stir beside her. The alarm was shut off, and Sam sighed, before rolling over and placing a soft kiss to Alex’s cheek.
“Morning,” Sam mumbled sleepily, as if it was perfectly normal, and perfectly acceptable for Alex to be in her bed. Like she expected it. Like she didn’t mind it. “Sorry for the alarm.”
Alex opened her eyes and smiled weakly, afraid that her voice would betray her if she tried to speak. She watched as Sam propped herself up, supporting her head in her hand as she reached over and tucked some stray strands of hair behind Alex’s ear. It sent a jolt of fire through Alex’s entire body, and she had to remind herself to breathe.
“This is a nice view to wake up to,” Sam whispered, leaning in and kissing her quickly on the lips. She pulled back with a grin. “I’ve got to get Ruby ready for school but you’re welcome to stay. I’ll make breakfast!”
“Oh-- no, you don’t have to--” Alex started, swallowing heavily. She had forgotten about Ruby, forgotten about work, forgotten about everything, apparently. Including the fact that it was a week day, and she had her own responsibilities to attend to. “I should-- I mean, I should be heading to work…”
“I can’t let you leave on an empty stomach! What kind of a person would I be if I did that?” Sam looked appalled, and Alex chuckled at her wide eyes and the way she seemed to pout. “Actually, I could use the company. Lena is forcing me to take the day off, and now I’ve got nothing but time. We can pretend it’s Saturday.”
“I…” Alex started. She shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t. She had work, and so many other reasons to say no. Mostly the pounding in her chest that indicated this was far more than a casual hook up. And staying for breakfast, well, that would just add fuel to the fire.
“Stay…” Sam whispered, leaning in to capture Alex’s lips with her own. Her mouth was pleasantly warm and insistent, and just like that, Alex knew she was a goner.
“Okay,” Alex agreed, barely able to get the word out before she felt herself leaning into Sam’s kiss, allowing it to drown her completely.
------
“Take some time away. I want you to have as little stress as possible while all this is going on. There’s nothing here that I can’t handle,” Lena said firmly, her eyes still holding that genuine sparkle that reminded Sam of why she trusted her in the first place. She knew Lena was only looking out for her, even if she wasn’t ready to accept it.
“I can’t just take time off right now,” Sam insisted, crossing her arms and staring at Lena defiantly. There was so much going on with L-Corp, she couldn’t just abandon it while waiting to figure out what was wrong with her.
“You can. In fact, I’m ordering you to,” Lena replied, tilting her head and staring at Sam. With a smirk, she added, “I think you can find plenty of things to keep you occupied in the meantime.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam felt that familiar burn of embarrassment start to creep up her neck and flush her cheeks, because she knew exactly what Lena was referring to. And Lena knew it, too.
“There are plenty of wonderful distractions to take advantage of, that’s all I’m saying,” Lena insisted, shrugging her shoulders as if to play off her true intentions.
“Distractions?” Sam asked, unamused.
“You know who I’m talking about,” Lena twisted her lips with a conspiratorial glance.
“Alex? Lena that’s --- I’m not-- No! That’s not even--” Sam sputtered, unable to find all the words to emphasize how ridiculous it sounded. Completely and totally untrue. Lena was so far off the mark it was comical. If anything, Lena should talk. “You’re being absurd!”
“I didn’t mention Alex, but since you brought her up...” Lena leaned forward and quirked a knowing eyebrow causing Sam to roll her eyes. She had been completely played, and it was infuriating. Alex was just a friend -- a good friend, and a friend with benefits, sure -- but a friend. And it was none of Lena’s concern. “I’m just saying. I know you! You trust her, and she’s been helping you. You feel safe with her, I can see it. Leave the work to me and let someone take care of you for once. You deserve that.”
It was true that Alex was smart, and grounded and her presence did something to Sam to make her calm. There was a reason that out of all the people she could have chosen, it was Alex she confided in first about her episodes. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was -- maybe it was the way Alex always knew how to speak soothingly when Sam was on the brink of freaking out, or maybe it was the way Alex was vulnerable with her, like there was something special about Sam that caused her to open up. Whatever it was, it had Sam wanting . She wanted more of Alex, more of this, more of whatever it was that she was getting.
She knew she shouldn't. There were so many other things to be worried about right now, and Alex was a friend trying to help her. She shouldn’t try to jeopardize that with feelings. It was already bad enough that she had allowed herself to act on physical impulses. More than one time, in fact, and enough to cause it to be habitual. But there was something under the surface, something lingering between the two of them that wasn’t going to go away. It seemed to take root and grow wilder with every encounter they had. It was more than just surface attraction, and she couldn’t deny it no matter how hard she tried to rationalize it away.
So she went home, and after the house was dark and quiet, she had taken Lena’s advice.
“Alex…” she exhaled, the name almost getting lost in her throat as she tried to keep herself from going over the edge too soon. Her hands were lost in tendrils of hair as she grabbed frantically, pulling Alex closer, desperate for more, more, more.
“What do you need?” Alex huskily whispered in her ear. Her fingers were lighting a fire all along Sam’s abdomen as they trekked dangerously lower to where she could feel herself begging for release.
“You,” Sam whimpered, and that was all it took, before she felt Alex thrusting deep inside and filling her completely.
The next thing she knew, she was waking up with her arms secured around a very attractive, very much still present in her bed, Alex, and she knew there was no coming back from that.
So maybe Lena was right, even if Sam was loathe to admit it.
She hadn’t asked Alex to stay, but she did, and it mattered. Sam never minded one way or the other if Alex slept over during their previous encounters, but it always seemed like Alex preferred to leave before the next morning and Sam never commented. It worked for them. Sam had Ruby to worry about, and they both had work and they were trying to navigate around very complicated feelings. There was nothing wrong with avoiding the morning after cup of coffee and awkward goodbye.
But for some reason, this time was different. For some reason, Sam fell asleep desperately wanting Alex to stay. And for some reason, even without her asking, Alex didn’t leave.
Sam looked over at Alex as she turned off her alarm, and she felt the longing in her chest. She wanted to be more, to have this. To wake up with Alex in her arms and have it be normal. It was too hard to deny those feelings with Alex right there, curled up next to her, the heat radiating off her body and enveloping Sam in a comforting cocoon. She allowed herself to imagine what it would be like, to have a few brief seconds of bliss, before she brought herself back to reality.
“You’re taking the bus today kiddo,” Sam said a few minutes later, walking into the kitchen as Ruby finished her cereal and started gathering her backpack for school.
“Mom!” she immediately protested, rolling her eyes in that way she always had when Sam was being particularly unfair . Sam almost laughed at how exaggerated her whining was, even though she felt slightly guilty for her reasons.
“I know, I’m the worst, call child services, alert the media!” Sam joked, handing Ruby her lunch.
“You’re such a nerd.”
“I’ll make it up to you. I need to get some things done but I’ll pick you up early and we’ll go ice skating, how about that?” Sam asked. The idea just came to her, and it seemed like a great way to smooth things over without causing a scene. Besides, she really did want to spend the down time with her daughter, since everything had been insane lately. She owed her that much.
“Are you for real?” Ruby’s eyes widened in surprise.
“For real,” Sam nodded. “How about it?”
“Hell yeah!” Ruby pumped her fist and grinned.
“You get approximately one of those a day, so I hope you enjoyed that.”
------
Alex heard the door close as Ruby left for the bus, and she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see Ruby -- on the contrary, she actually felt incredibly guilty for hiding from her -- but that was a whole slippery slope that hadn’t been discussed yet with Sam. She didn’t want to just appear in last night’s clothes without an explanation, tip toeing from Sam’s room. Ruby was 12, and incredibly perceptive. It would take five seconds to put the pieces together, and that was a headache Alex wanted to avoid for as long as possible. Forever, really, if she could find a way.
She wasn’t even sure what she’d say. There was no explaining something she hadn’t even figured out herself. But she couldn’t help her mind from wandering to thoughts of waking up with Sam, and having it be right . Having breakfast with Sam and Ruby, like she actually belonged there. That feeling in her stomach came back stronger than before, and Alex shook her head to try to pull herself out of her reverie.
Within minutes, all her thoughts melted away as she could hear the soft sounds of a mellow tune airing through the kitchen, and Sam’s voice humming along as cupboards opened and closed. Alex could smell freshly brewed coffee, and it called to her like a sacred spell.
“Are you always this happy in the morning?” Alex grumbled as she padded her way into the large kitchen. She pretended to be annoyed, even though there was nothing about this type of morning that would ever have her grumpy. “What time is it anyway?”
Sam turned and looked around the kitchen before flashing a huge smile. “It’s pancake o’clock!”
“You’re such a nerd…” Alex groaned, rolling her eyes as she gratefully took the cup of coffee from Sam’s offering hand.
“Surprisingly, you’re not the first person to call me that this morning,” Sam joked, shaking her head. “I’m not going to share any of my pancakes if you keep it up.”
She pointed her spatula at Alex with a frown, and Alex held her hands up in surrender. Sam’s dimpled smile betrayed her seriousness, and all her intimidation fled the scene.
Alex didn’t want to feel this enamored, but there it was, hitting her in the chest and banging against her ribs, like her feelings couldn’t find enough space in her body and had started some permanent renovations. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable, this morning after breakfast scenario, but there she was, feeling lighter and happier than she’d felt in months simply watching someone cook pancakes. It would be absurd, if it wasn’t so adorable.
“This song’s supposed to keep ya from doin what ya need to…” Sam sang, a huge smile spreading across her face. She winked as she turned back to the mixing bowl, stirring together the ingredients. Alex chuckled as she saw all the fixings for banana pancakes, which was charming with Sam’s choice of music.
“You’re definitely successful,” Alex responded to the lyrics, as Sam continued to dance around the kitchen. She stuck her tongue out playfully, and Alex just shook her head. She went to take a seat at the counter but found that she couldn’t just sit and watch. Sam was gliding around with her apron -- a bright yellow piece with a picture of a wine bottle that said ‘You had me at Merlot’-- and her whisk, her hair pulled back and her face absent of any make-up. It was definitely a look. A look that Alex had never gotten to see before, and one she would probably never get over. She was pretty sure before this that Sam was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, but this domestic version seemed to confirm it. Soon, she was wrapping her arms around Sam’s waist and leaning into her softly, breathing in her morning scent of fabric softener and cinnamon. It felt good, and warm, and it was too intimate, but they were already this far. Sam leaned back into her and sighed.
“Can’t you see that it’s just raining….ain’t no need to go outside…” Sam sang, swaying her hips with the music as Alex followed her motions, kissing the soft spot right before her ear. Some stray flour leapt from the mixing bowl and Sam grinned as she turned slightly and ran her finger over Alex’s nose. Alex could feel the flour on her face but she didn’t care as she pulled Sam close and kissed her deeply.
“Are you still trying to get me to skip work?” Alex asked, grinning as their lips broke apart. Sam turned to face her and tilted her head, looking at her with those gentle doe eyes.
“Is it working?”
She didn’t want to leave. Maybe it was the music, or the way Sam sang the song, or the smell of coffee and pancakes lingering in the air. Maybe it was the way she could feel something happening between them, feel the closeness in their movements, and feel the way Sam’s eyes just seemed to know . Whatever it was, it had Alex throwing caution to the wind.
“Yes,” Alex said, making up her mind that there was no place she would rather be. She pulled Sam closer by the gaps in her apron and pressed their bodies together again. “If that’s okay.”
“More than okay,” Sam whispered, smiling into their next kiss.
“Makin banana pancakes, pretend that it’s the weekend…” they both sang against each other’s mouths, and Alex could once again feel herself falling, falling, falling.