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“Hey! I was just about to call you!” Lena calls out, her throaty voice echoing pleasantly through her office as soon as Kara opens the door. She chuckles, and it’s enough to make Kara stand there dumbly in a vain effort to try to collect her bearings.
“You always seem to know when I’m craving my caffeine fix.” Lena looks up from her paperwork at Kara, her eyes a piercing combination of intense focus and endearing softness, something that is unique to only Lena Luthor.
It always takes a second, maybe a few seconds, for Kara to get her thoughts out of a jumble and remember to breathe whenever she goes to visit Lena. She knows her best friend’s voice, and her gorgeous face, and the way her eyes light up whenever Kara enters a room, but somehow it still hits her with unexpected force every time it happens. Sometimes Lena is just too much -- too expensive, too sharp, too flawless -- and Kara finds herself wondering how a human could really be this otherworldly.
So far, she has no answers, only that it’s Lena, and that’s the only explanation necessary.
“Hi!” Kara announces, finally remembering the abundance of treats she’s carrying. She juggles a drink tray that is filled with some iced frappuccino concoctions and a bag of donuts, because it’s a Tuesday and she knows Lena has been working frantically to meet several pressing deadlines. She reaches back for the door, sticking her tongue out slightly in concentration as she attempts to close it without throwing everything on the ground. When she manages to turn around without incident, she finds Lena smirking at her with candid amusement written all over her face.
Sometimes Lena looks at Kara like she’s incredibly impressed at her for just existing, and whenever Lena looks at her like that, she has to double check that she isn’t wearing her super suit.
Kara glances down. No, she definitely isn’t, which makes the fact that Lena is smiling at her -- Kara Danvers -- enough to send a tingling sensation down her entire spine.
Lena surveys the treats in Kara’s arms with a quirked eyebrow. “Kara, what is all this?”
She puts down her pen and twists her lips, like she’s thinking of something funny but is reveling in her silence, waiting for Kara to fill in the gaps herself. There’s something over the top about most of Lena’s expressions, but this one always leaves Kara tongue tied, even if she isn’t speaking.
“This-- “ Kara beams as she prances across the room and places more sugar than one human can possibly hope to consume in one sitting down on her desk, “--is Noonan’s special Valentine’s Day frappuccino!”
“It looks like Valentine’s Day exploded into a cup,” Lena says, eyeing the pink frothy contents with suspicion. She takes it tentatively as Kara grabs her own.
“I know, isn’t it awesome?”
“That’s one word for it,” Lena replies, the creases in her forehead giving away the fact that she wouldn’t necessarily say the same. Kara watches her eagerly as she takes a sip through her straw.
“And?” Kara pushes. “What do ya think?”
Lena grimaces as she swallows. “I have to wonder if Noonan’s is trying to kill us. I think if I finish this I’ll go into a diabetic coma.”
“You’re so dramatic!” Kara rolls her eyes, taking a huge sip of her own. She thinks it’s delicious, but that means it’s probably insanely sweet for someone with Lena’s palette. Lena is always doing ridiculous things like refusing sugar and eating salads, so Kara already had an idea that she wouldn’t really like this drink. Still, it’s always fun to try. Deep down, she thinks Lena appreciates it. At least, she hasn’t told her to stop, and on more than one occasion, Kara has caught her smiling while indulging in her mid-afternoon sweets, which is precisely why Kara keeps bringing them. It’s a vicious cycle that neither one seems particularly eager to quit.
Kara reaches to the third cup in her tray and pushes it toward Lena. “I brought you your boring coffee order too, just in case.”
“Kara Danvers, you really are my hero,” Lena practically purrs her name and her eyes flutter as she inhales the scent of her coffee. Kara’s chest feels like it’s doing the same, as the warmth spreads along her body, like she’s being wrapped in a warm hug that she has no intention of pulling away from.
“So I hope you don’t have any plans tomorrow,” Kara begins excitedly, taking the seat across from Lena’s desk. She feels herself practically buzzing with anticipation as her legs refuse to stay still. It might have to do with the sugar, but her limbs continue to bounce repeatedly from her chair as Lena tilts her head and watches her with sparkling eyes.
“I...don’t…” Lena replies slowly, her mouth pulling into a confused frown. “Why…?”
“Great, because we’re going to dinner!” Kara exclaims happily. This is the real reason she’s here. Even though the Valentine’s Day drinks are amazing, she has bigger news to share. “We’re going to that new place downtown you’ve been talking about for months!”
“You do realize it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, right?” Lena points out quickly.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I got us a reservation so even if it’s busy, we’ll still have a table!” Kara adjusts her glasses and leans forward, proud of herself. “How’s that for planning ahead?”
There’s a long pause as Kara waits for Lena’s reaction. She expects her to be excited, since she’s been going on and on about D’Avanti’s for months, and how incredible the chef is there and how she really wants to go. It’s become their thing. They try different restaurants, and Lena orders all the food she thinks Kara will like, and there’s never any leftovers because Kara has zero self control. But even despite the fact that Kara’s appetite is borderline embarrassing, Lena never makes fun of her. Instead, she offers to order more while she sips her wine, looking entertained, and they laugh at jokes that don’t make sense to anyone that isn’t them, and by the end of the night Kara’s face always ends up hurting from smiling so much.
Admittedly, when she made the plans last week, she forgot it was Valentine’s Day. But then the horrible thought came into her mind about Lena spending another holiday alone and Kara couldn’t bear the idea. Last year, Kara was forced to spend Valentine’s Day dodging an imp from the 5th dimension, but this year, she just wants to spend it with someone she cares about. And obviously, Lena makes that list. The top of it, in fact. Well, next to Alex, but Alex is probably going to be surly and bitter about Valentine’s Day and Kara has already penciled in time to cheer up her sister anyway, so that’s taken care of.
“A reservation at the hottest restaurant in town? I’m impressed, Kara. You’ll have to tell me your secret,” Lena finally says, leaning back in her chair with crossed arms and a teasing smile that makes Kara go numb for a brief moment.
“Oh! It was nothing--I…” Kara fidgets with her hands, debating whether or not to let the rest of her secret spill. She figures it might be worthwhile, for Lena to see it’s actually a good thing. “Well I might have used your name, actually. They were very willing to fit us in once they found out it was for Lena Luthor!”
“My Luthor name as a force for good, who would have believed it?” Lena shakes her head with a smile of disbelief.
“See?” Kara grins. “You should be proud!”
“Either that, or they’re just trying to poison me,” Lena points out, leaning forward with a sarcastic sneer. She rolls her eyes and stares up at Kara in such a way that it sends a jolt through Kara’s chest.
“Lena!” Kara admonishes. “Wait--you don’t think--”
“Relax, Kara, I’m kidding,” Lena grins, fluttering her hand as if to dismiss the thought. “Besides, my name is plastered on plenty of hospitals around the city anyway.” Kara relaxes her shoulders, but Lena looks at her with questioning eyes. “But are you sure you want to spend your Valentine’s Day with me?”
“Are you kidding? Of course I do!” Kara exclaims. She’s sad that it isn’t more obvious, but Lena is always doubting herself and tentative to accept praise, even from genuine sources like Kara. She finds herself always wishing Lena could see herself from Kara’s point of view, because then she would never doubt herself again. In fact, she might actually feel overly confident, which Kara would never mind seeing. Besides, why wouldn’t she want to spend a holiday with Lena Luthor , of all people? She’s more surprised that Lena would want to spend it with her, in all honesty.
“Well, I’m flattered,” Lena says, unsuccessfully hiding a small dimpled smile that Kara wishes she could make bigger.
“What do you normally do for Valentine’s Day?” Kara asks gently.
“Ignore that it exists and drink abnormal amounts of wine?” Lena suggests and something in Kara’s stomach drops. Lena laughs at her own joke, but Kara notices the way her smile wavers and her eyes are quick to find the ground. “I’m not really on the top of people’s lists when it comes to sending chocolates. Sketchy packages that require bomb sniffing dogs, maybe. But nothing of the warm and fuzzy variety.”
“Lena, I refuse to let you spend another holiday alone or avoiding your mailbox! Which is why -- “ Kara reaches across Lena’s desk and grasps for her hand. Lena shakes her head and smiles, placing her hand in Kara’s. “You’re coming out with me.”
“You really are something else, Kara Danvers,” Lena says quietly, as she peers up at Kara with a look that Kara wishes she could save forever. It seems to say so much, and Kara wishes she could hear all the words Lena refuses to speak behind red-lipped smiles and teasing grins. She clears her throat after a moment, as she realizes she’s been stuck in a semi-trance, getting lost in the endless expanse of Lena’s eyes. She takes back her hand, which is still warm from where Lena’s fingers traced along her skin, and she smiles affectionately.
“Oh, and your driver knows all the details, so he will be ready to bring us at 7,” Kara says as Lena stares at her open-mouthed. “That part I had a little help with. You know, Jess deserves a raise.”
“So I hear,” Lena laughs, as she shakes her head. “Well, you certainly thought of everything. I don’t know why I ever worried.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Kara says earnestly.
It’s their mantra, the phrase they repeat to each other always, to remind each other that they’re not alone. That this is them . Kara has long ago stopped trying to find a way to explain their relationship, or do it justice, because it’s Lena and Kara, and there aren’t enough words in English or Kryptonian to ever really explain something that profound. So instead, they settle on friendship, something they can both navigate, and the rest falls into the negative space specifically reserved for feelings that can’t ever be realized by the spoken word.
“Friends,” Lena repeats, her left eyebrow unmistakably raising just enough that Kara wonders if she’s going to say more. When she remains silent, like she always does, Kara shrugs and smiles.
-------
“What are these for?” Alex asks, nudging her chin in the direction of the freshly baked sugar cookies stacked on a cooling rack in Sam’s kitchen. They’re all different shapes -- hearts, stars, and something vaguely representing a crescent moon -- but Alex isn’t sure the purpose. Other than they smell delicious, and maybe she could get away with sneaking just one…
“Hey, scavenger!” Sam laughs, swatting Alex’s hands away playfully. “Those are for Ruby’s class for Valentine’s day.”
“Valentine’s day?” Alex swallows, her appetite steadily plummeting at this information. How could she forget about Valentine’s Day?
“Yeah, ya know, Valentine’s Day,” Sam jokes, shrugging. “An excuse to eat candy, set high expectations and make really rash decisions. I guess that’s every holiday, really, but this time you just do it with someone you really like and hope they still like you afterwards.”
“I know what it is, you nerd,” Alex chuckles softly. “And you like it? Valentine’s Day, I mean.”
“Sure. It’s fun. I remember when I was in school, we used to get those heart shaped lollipops, you know the ones? God, those were my favorite.”
She glances up and catches Alex’s eye, and she scrunches her nose as she smiles. Alex forgets how to speak, because she’s busy trying to understand how someone can be so cute, and so sexy at the same time.
Sam has, for the better part of the past few months, consumed Alex’s thoughts with this similar dilemma before, along with other panic-inducing ideas like admitting to feelings and going on dates and having first kisses.
Pretty much all the things Alex has been trying to avoid.
“I didn’t realize it was tomorrow,” Alex mumbles. Memories from last Valentine’s Day come flooding back, and Alex has to push them aside quickly as the heat starts to prickle behind her eyes. It’s happy memories, for the most part, but the painful goodbye with Maggie still stings like a slap when she thinks about it too hard. Her life's different now, and it’s right, even if parts of the past nag at her with heavy nostalgia. But she is surviving, and somehow, she’s here with someone new, on the precipice of something potentially wonderful. If only she could push herself that extra inch to finally dive.
“Mmhmm,” Sam nods, busying herself with organizing the cookies so they will lie flat on some parchment paper. She grins at Alex with a sparkle in her eyes. “Wanna help me decorate these?”
Alex forces herself to smile and nod while her body goes temporarily on auto-pilot. Valentine’s Day continues to hang over her head like an anvil, and suddenly she is very aware of everything that is happening around her. Mostly the fact that she’s hanging out in Sam’s kitchen, which has steadily become more of a routine over the past few months, even if they continue to dance around their feelings. Her house is cozy and warm, and so inviting, and Sam herself is exactly what you’d expect to find when you walk into something so perfectly comfortable.
What’s worse, Alex knows she really, really likes Sam, and the thought of being around her makes her ridiculously happy. Like, stupid happy. Happy to the point of doing something irrational.
“Dinner?” Alex blurts without a second thought. Her eyes widen in surprise at her own bold insurgence, but Sam simply glances up at her while piping out frosting.
“What about dinner?” Sam asks, a small smile on her face as she returns to focusing on her cookie decorating.
“We should go out for dinner,” Alex presses on, unable to get the details out fast enough. She is hopelessly flailing, trying to ask Sam out for Valentine’s Day, but really she’s not even sure how she managed to get this far. They have been hanging out consistently, and there is definitely something happening between them. Something that Alex has been trying to indulge in while simultaneously avoiding, but she can’t seem to leave their pending status hanging with a reminder as glaring as Valentine’s Day on the horizon. It starts to feel a little desperate, and Alex clears her throat. “Tomorrow,” she clarifies.
Sam places the frosting down on the counter and wipes her hands on the front of her apron. She places her hands on the counter and tilts her head with a smug grin across her face as she looks at Alex.
“Are you asking me to be your Valentine, Alex?”
“I--” Alex sputters. “I just mean, you know, it’s a holiday, and I’m not doing anything, so I figured if you weren’t doing anything -- “
“--Alex...”
“--But you totally don’t have to. It’s a stupid idea, you can ignore me. Hey, hand me that frosting, I’ll start decorating…”
“Are you going to let me answer or are you just going to keep rambling?” Sam asks, holding the frosting out of reach of Alex’s hands.
“Probably keep rambling,” Alex confesses with a sheepish grin. She doesn’t want to hear Sam’s excuse, and it’s her fault for even putting them in this predicament. She shouldn’t have just blurted it out, they haven’t even talked about what they are, or what they want, and --
“I’d love to be your date for Valentine’s Day,” Sam says with a huge smile. Alex stops her tormented inner-monologue and looks at Sam’s face.
“Wait, you would?” Alex breathes out in relief, her heart thumping steadily against her ribs.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Sam says earnestly, and Alex can’t help but search her face for clues that she might be joking. But there’s nothing but warmth being reflected back at her from Sam’s deep, steady gaze.
“That makes two of us,” Alex admits, shrugging off the last bit of embarrassment.
Sam bites her lip for a second before grinning. “Actually, I did something kind of crazy.”
“Define ‘crazy’...” Alex replies slowly. Usually when someone says they did something crazy, it’s Kara, and she’s shoving a whole pizza in her mouth without a second thought. Or, worse, it’s still Kara, but instead of goofing around, she’s sacrificing herself for the entire planet. Crazy has a lot of impact in Alex Danvers’ life, so she braces herself for Sam’s version.
“I made a reservation for us for tomorrow already,” Sam says with a gleam in her eye. She giggles softly and Alex swears her entire heart melts on the floor. “If you hadn’t asked, I was going to later.”
“Really?” Alex exclaims. She feels her cheeks begin to go numb from smiling so hard, and she catches herself quickly, trying to bring it down a few notches. She can’t believe Sam has gone ahead and made plans, which means she definitely sat there and thought about it. Thought about them . It’s enough to make Alex’s knees go weak.
“Yes really,” Sam nods, handing a fully decorated cookie over to Alex with a soft smile. “I like you, Alex. I like spending time with you. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top, we can take it slow. But I really want to spend Valentine’s Day with someone cute who makes me smile.”
The words take a second to register before Alex’s face flushes with the compliment.
“So you think I’m cute, huh?” she leans forward, placing her head on her hand as she bites into the freshly decorated cookie. The flavor of cinnamon and sugar swirls around her tongue and between that and getting to stare at Sam’s beautiful face, she’s pretty sure this might be a perfect moment.
“Maybe a little,” Sam teases, leaning forward and mimicking Alex’s position. She rests her head on her hand and grins back at her, before sneaking a bite of the cookie in Alex’s other hand.
“Hey!” Alex laughs, pulling it back in shock. Sam just chews and giggles, covering her mouth with her hand and it’s yet another moment when Alex really, really wants to kiss her.
She forces herself to stay glued to her seat and tries to focus on something -- anything -- else.
“Hang on, so you let me suffer through that embarrassing display of asking you out for no reason?” Alex asks suddenly, thinking back on their little conversation.
“Oh, absolutely. It was too adorable to interrupt.” Sam nods, as if she’s completely proud of herself.
“I take back my invitation!” Alex exclaims, her mouth hanging open in mock offense.
“Fine, I take back these cookies,” Sam says, snatching it out of Alex’s hand. “And if you aren’t careful, I’ll take back all of these cookies.” Sam laughs, smacking her own hip and re-adjusting her apron.
“Oh my God,” Alex buries her face in her hands, mostly to hide the ridiculous blush across her cheeks, but also to convey embarrassment on Sam’s behalf. “You did not just say that.”
-----
Friends.
That’s what they are, and as if Lena needed the glaring reminder, Kara had been sure to emphasize it before she left her office. They’re friends, and this is a friendly dinner, just like all their other dinners. It doesn’t matter that it’s Valentine’s Day, or that Kara made reservations, or that Lena went through 12 different outfits in a mad self-deprecating frenzy before finally choosing the black dress with the plunging neckline that she knows will make an impression.
They’re friends, and Kara is simply doing her a favor.
She doesn’t want Lena to be alone on a holiday, which is sweet, and charming, and so very Kara. But it also makes Lena feel slightly pathetic, like if she actually had a life, Kara wouldn’t feel so obligated to spend the time with her. Deep down, she knows that isn’t true, and she’s just being paranoid. But when every romantically coded invitation or suggestion comes with the caveat that they’re only friends, Lena finds that she truly doesn’t know what to make of it after all, so her mind goes to that dark place where only doubt seems to live.
To add insult to injury, she hasn’t really ever been friends with Kara, even though that’s what they constantly tell themselves. Not even close. Lena has been hopelessly in love with Kara Danvers from the moment she crossed the threshold into her office, infusing her grayscale life with so much brightness that Lena has been forced to squint whenever she looks at her too long. So now, with all that going on in the back of her head, the constant reminders of their friendship status have started to grate against her skin like a particularly dull and overused razor that needs to be replaced.
She glances up from her menu to find Kara’s sparkling blue eyes already staring at her, her mouth quirked up in a cute smile as the candlelight dances warmly across her face. Lena shifts slightly in her seat, trying to hide the blush that is creeping along her cheeks as she studies the pout of Kara’s lips. She wonders, briefly, for the hundredth time that day, what they would feel like against her own. It’s too early in the evening to fall into that trap, but Kara is sitting there looking lovely, with her golden hair perfectly curled and her sleeveless dress showing off those toned shoulders that Lena swears should be illegal, and she finds that she simply can’t help it.
“So what do you think?” Kara asks, and Lena shakes her head, uncomprehending.
“Sorry?”
“Does it live up to the hype so far?” Kara asks, wiggling her eyebrows. She looks around the cozy venue, which Lena has to admit is pleasant and upscale, even on a crowded evening. Kara glances back down at the menu before looking back at Lena. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to order one of everything on this appetizer list, just to be safe.”
“Oh, obviously,” Lena replies with a smile, as Kara’s enthusiasm for food never fails to make her laugh. “I admire your commitment to due diligence.”
Kara smiles and takes a sip of her water, before replacing the glass and looking back at Lena. Sometimes she stares at her with such fondness, that Lena’s heart almost bursts out of her chest. It’s like Kara’s eyes are saying, you feel this, too, right? It’s not just me? But then she covers her feelings, and hides behind trite lines about friendship, and Lena is once again left at a loss.
“Thanks for coming out with me,” Kara says softly. She reaches across the table for Lena’s hand, and even though Lena knows better, she allows her fingers to be intertwined with Kara’s. She can never resist additional closeness when it comes to Kara, and putting herself through the torture is really second nature at this point. “I always like spending time with you, you know.”
“You’re my favorite,” Lena says automatically, because she doesn’t even have to think about it. She means it, in so many more ways than Kara will ever interpret it, but it’s enough. It has to be enough.
They sit like that for a few moments too long, as they always do, their hands clasped together as they stare at each other like love-struck teenagers. Lena wants so badly to say something. She wants to shake both of them and yell at them to wake up. If not tonight, then when? There has to be something else going on, she can’t just be making this up. She feels a random burst of foolish courage, and her lips are moving before she can tell herself to stop.
“Kara…” she begins, but suddenly Kara is looking over her shoulder with an uncharacteristic frown on her face.
“Hey, is that…?” Kara says, shifting her napkin from her lap and placing it on the table. She starts to stand and Lena turns to look over her shoulder, following Kara’s gaze.
“Lena?” a voice calls out, and Lena frowns at the familiarity.
“Sam?”
“Alex?” Kara calls out soon after. Sure enough, the elder Danvers sister comes walking toward them, standing next to Sam and looking back and forth between Kara and Lena in hilarious disbelief.
“Kara?!” Alex finally exclaims, and soon all four of them are exchanging skeptical glances and gaping at each other like fish out of water. Alex looks like she wants to murder all of them, and Sam looks like she’s about to cry laughing. Kara keeps looking around like she can’t believe her good luck, and Lena doesn’t know how to feel because isn’t this just perfect?
“How did--”
“I didn’t know--”
“But when--”
Everyone starts asking questions at the same time, and no one volunteers any answers. Soon, there’s just a long awkward silence, and Lena chuckles softly to herself as she realizes what’s happening. All four of them have been caught red handed, and no one wants to be the first to admit it.
Sam and Alex are definitely on a date, and oh, that is rich . Lena is secretly loving every bit of it, since she’s been teasing Sam about Alex for weeks. She’s glad they seem to be acknowledging their feelings, even though part of her burns with jealousy. Lena is sure that Alex is probably more tactful than Kara when it comes to addressing feelings, and she knows Sam well enough to know that she will speak up about whatever is on her mind, so the two of them are probably not here as fake friends. Lena nods knowingly at Sam, who tries to hide her smile, and then her mind wanders to Kara, wondering if she is putting together the pieces. When she looks over, she sees Kara just smiling happily, seemingly unbothered by the huge elephants in the room.
“Well, now that we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way…” Lena rolls her eyes good naturedly and everyone smiles in relief. “We won’t keep you…”
“You guys should totally join us!” Kara cuts in, and Lena barely has time to mask the horrified look that she knows appears on her face.
“--what?” Lena blurts out at the same time as Alex, and they both eye each other before they look back at Kara in a wide-eyed panic.
“Yeah! It’ll be great. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. We have plenty of space!” Kara insists, shifting her chair closer to Lena’s to make room for two more.
“Oh, no, we can’t --” Alex starts, looking at Sam and back at Kara. Lena remains tight lipped, unsure what to make of anything, and desperately wishing for the waiter to return with a drink refill. Maybe this time he’ll see the crowd and just leave the bottle.
“Of course you can!” Kara says brightly.
Sam looks at Alex, then back at Lena. She raises her eyebrows like she knows it’s awkward but she isn’t about to say no, and Lena immediately gives up. It’s not worth fighting this battle, and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing that they’re here. They’re all friends, aren’t they?
Friends. She chokes on the word, and smiles in spite of it. She isn’t sure what she had in mind for this evening, but an impromptu double date with the sister of her crush and her current CFO certainly wasn’t on her radar.
Then again, nothing should surprise her anymore.
“The more the merrier!” Lena finally exclaims and she honestly has never hated herself more.
-------
Alex’s face pinches into a painful smile. I was happy for like...5 minutes.
Lena sighs, and gestures to the table. Can I order a hit on myself?
Sam looks around with a grin. This should be hilarious.
Kara takes her seat last, beaming at everyone. My favorite people, all in the same place!
-------
A date is one thing.
A pseudo double date on Valentine’s Day with her oblivious sister and her smitten best friend? Another thing entirely.
Sure, they all get together for the occasional girl’s night, under the guise of friendship, and it’s pleasant enough, but this is new terrain. First of all, Kara and Lena are on something that looks suspiciously like their own date, which is not surprising in the least, but very new, and Alex wonders which one of them finally cracked. Her money is on Lena, absolutely, but they both still look so uncomfortable that there’s a chance neither one of them has spoken about it at all. There’s also the issue of Sam, and Alex arriving only with Sam on what is very much an actual date, something Alex hasn’t even gotten a chance to tell Kara about yet. All of this, capped with the fact that Lena is staring at both of them like she’s about to declare herself the winner of a bet, makes dinner profoundly awkward before it even really gets started.
Alex reaches for the wine that is thankfully filled in front of her and takes a solid gulp.
“I didn’t know you were going out tonight!” Kara inevitably says, because of course she does, and Alex prays that the Earth will open up and swallow her whole.
Thankfully, Sam interjects smoothly, and Alex swears she could just kiss her. Obviously it isn’t the first time that particular thought has crossed her mind, but it’s more relevant than ever in the way she manages to save this dinner from turning into an interrogation.
“It was a game time decision,” Sam replies easily. “Ruby is off at a friend’s house for the night, so I get a rare evening to drink more wine!”
“And how can I turn down that offer?” Alex supplies, tipping her glass. Sam smiles at her fondly, and Alex is thankful they don’t have to get into it just yet. There will be plenty of time for feelings and confessions, but she’d really like to eat dinner first.
“Cheers to that,” Lena says quickly, holding up her glass. The rest of the group join in, and Alex watches intently as Kara ignores the rest of them in favor of beaming at Lena like she invented the Earth.
The conversation eventually starts to flow more naturally, due in part to Kara rattling off menu options and Lena just nodding along and saying yes to everything she suggests. They finally order, and Sam tells the group about rushing to bake cookies for Ruby’s class and how she had a fantastic decorating assistant. She looks over at Alex, who feels herself blushing profusely under Sam’s praise. It seems to go undetected by everyone but Lena, who watches with her left eyebrow pointed skyward in smug satisfaction.
“ You were helping decorate cookies?” Kara asks, pointing incredulously at her sister. “I didn’t know you could be so domestic.”
“I happen to be extremely skilled at icing,” Alex fires back and Kara’s mouth hangs open like she doesn’t believe her for a second. “And hand to hand combat. I can do both.”
“I can vouch for her,” Sam says, patting her arm. “Well, for the cookie decorating, at least.” Lena eyes them with a smirk.
“Kara’s just jealous because she burns everything she bakes,” Alex explains, turning to Sam in particular to deliver this information. She looks back at her sister with a teasing smile.
“Says the girl who has burned more than her fair share of dinners!” Kara exclaims, pointing at Alex. “We have the pizza guy on speed dial thanks to you!”
“As if you didn’t have him on speed dial already?” Alex crosses her arms, and Kara’s mouth hangs open in silence, unable to argue. Sam places her hand on Alex’s thigh, which almost sends her knee shooting through the table and she forgets what they were even talking about for a second.
“Kara’s gotten much better at baking, for what it’s worth,” Lena offers, and Alex grins at the way Lena adamantly defends Kara, even when it isn’t warranted, or even close to being true.
“Thank you!” Kara nods at Lena, and rolls her eyes at Alex, before getting distracted by the waiter’s arrival with several plates of food.
The appetizers are passed around, which distracts everyone enough for Alex to take a breath. Lena and Sam eventually start talking about some overly complicated merger at L-Corp, which is way over Alex’s head, and she finally finds an appropriate time to excuse herself for the bathroom. She gives Kara a look -- you, come with me, now -- and they both quietly stand up and head to the back of the restaurant.
“So… Sam?” Kara asks, as soon as the door shuts behind them. She crosses her arms and leans against the counter, as if waiting for an explanation.
“So… Lena?” Alex counters, mimicking her pose and frowning.
“I asked you first,” Kara points out.
“And I asked you second,” Alex retorts quickly. “And for some reason, I feel like you owe me more of an explanation.”
“I--” Kara frowns slightly at that. “It’s Lena? We always hang out. You and Sam, though, that’s new.”
Alex rolls her eyes and exhales heavily.
“It is new, and I’m trying really hard not to screw it up,” Alex explains softly, praying for Kara to get the hint without forcing her to launch into a whole explanation right this second.
“Okay--Oh! Oh, you mean--” Kara sputters. She nods vigorously. “Okay! Well then you can definitely tell me more about all...that... later.”
“Thank you,” Alex breathes, happy to have that bullet dodged. “Anyway, Lena certainly looks pretty tonight.”
“She always looks pretty,” Kara says, shrugging. “She could wear a potato sack and she’d be the most gorgeous person in any room.”
Alex frowns at the way Kara says it like it should be obvious. It’s frustrating to hear her talk like that -- like Lena hung the moon, and looked delicious while doing it -- and insist they’re only friends. Alex can only imagine what it must be like for Lena, and she suddenly finds herself liking her a little more. The CEO is always so gracious and smooth, even though inside she must be going crazy over these “friendly” antics with Kara.
Alex shakes her head.
“Kara, what are you doing?” Alex asks, twisting her lips as she watches her sister. Her sister, with her heart of gold and her head full of hope, and her feelings all buried and confused. Alex knows she isn’t necessarily a relationship guru by any means, but she’s seen the way Kara and Lena are together, and there is no doubt in her mind what is really going on between them. It’s so obvious she almost wants to scream.
“What do you mean?” Kara asks, the crinkle in her forehead very pronounced as she frowns.
“Why did you ask that poor girl out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t intend to make it a real date?”
“I--” Kara begins, before shaking her head. “It’s what friends do! She doesn’t have anyone to spend it with, and we always go out to dinner. I just thought it would be really nice for her.”
“Kara, it’s a romantic holiday. You could have just gotten her a card or something if you wanted to send her a nice gesture. This is--” Alex purses her lips. “A lot.”
Kara pauses for a minute, staring down at the counter of the sink like it’s suddenly extremely interesting. She scratches at it with her thumb before pulling away sheepishly, as she realizes she made an actual indent in the marble. Alex frowns. Kara is normally very in control, and clearly she’s nervous if she’s putting dents in bathroom appliances by accident.
“I just wanted Lena to have the best day ever, you know? I can’t stand the thought of her being sad. Whenever I think of her spending another holiday alone, it makes my entire heart hurt.” Kara shakes her head, as if to ward away the thought. “Especially Valentine’s Day. She deserves so much love every day and I just wanted to do something for her to make her smile. I love when she smiles.”
“That’s why I asked Sam,” Alex says gently, not trying to start a fight. “I wanted someone to remind her she’s special.”
“But you like Sam…” Kara responds quickly.
“Yeah, I do,” Alex says. “I like spending time with her. I like the way I feel when I’m around her. She makes me laugh, and she just makes me feel like I’m something more . I want to do things for her to make her happy, and I want to protect her. I feel a lot of things for her, which is why I’m not here with her under the premise of friendship.”
“Oh,” Kara says quietly. She stares at the ground for a few moments before snapping up at Alex with a startled expression. “OH…”
“Yeah,” Alex nods with a knowing smile.
“But you don’t think-- I mean, Lena doesn’t like me like that…” Kara starts rambling, and Alex holds up her hand, trying desperately not to laugh. The idea of Lena Luthor not liking Kara is so ridiculous that she genuinely feels concerned for Kara’s warped perception.
“Kara, everyone on Earth knows Lena likes you like that,” Alex says, and Kara chuckles under her breath. “You’re actually both guilty of over the top romantic gestures disguised as some weird friendship ritual. She bought you an entire multimedia empire, for God's sake!"
"That was a business investment, she said so herself!"
"It was practically a marriage proposal, but you both keep telling yourself that," Alex scoffs. She really can't believe she's having this conversation right now. "Trust me, she’s here tonight because she feels like that.”
“But I led her on and then totally shut her down,” Kara says, looking up at Alex with pleading eyes, like she wants her sister to tell her she hasn’t. But the truth is, she has, even without intending to.
“Only... a lot,” Alex says, and Kara’s shoulders slump. “But she cares about you so much that she’s still here. She adores you.”
“I never meant to do that to her. I--” Kara bites her lip and looks up at the sky, like she’s trying to hold back tears. Alex steps forward and rubs her arm softly. “I really do like her, Alex. I mean, of course I do. It’s Lena !”
“I know, and you always say that. I just don’t think you’ve ever stopped to realize what that means.”
“It means I have a lot of explaining to do,” Kara mumbles, her eyes trailing along the floor as she speaks. “She makes me feel more than I’ve ever really let myself feel."
“I think she’ll be open to hearing what you have to say,” Alex tries to assure her, and Kara smiles weakly. “There’s a reason why she means this much to you.”
“Thanks Alex,” Kara says, and Alex opens her arms. Kara falls into them the way she always does, and Alex revels in the fact that she can still offer something of value to someone as strong and unbreakable as the girl of steel.
“Anytime,” she whispers and Kara squeezes her a little harder.
“Did I totally ruin your date?” Kara asks as she pulls away, her eyes searching frantically, like it’s suddenly just clicked that her and Lena are inadvertently getting in the way of some alone time for Alex and Sam.
“Oh, not totally, but you absolutely owe me,” Alex chuckles and Kara shakes her head as they head back to the table and toward their waiting dates.
-------
She isn’t angry. She’s not.
It’s cute, the way Kara always wants to include everyone. She knows how close Kara and Alex are, and there’s no reason to be semi-sulking, even though she’s been spending the better part of dinner talking to people other than Kara. It’s probably for the best, anyway, because it provides a distraction from Kara’s face, and her lips, and everything else Lena should definitely not be thinking about.
Kara and Alex are still temporarily absent, which Lena can only assume will last for awhile. She’s fairly confident they’re both grilling each other about their dinner companions, and she’s sure that’s going to make for an interesting conversation. Her heart drops momentarily, as she wonders what Kara could possibly say to Alex about why she invited Lena tonight. She cringes over thoughts of friendship or any other weird excuse she’s sure Kara will come up with. She pushes the thought far from her mind and forces herself to focus on the present.
“So, you look more spectacular than usual,” Sam grins, winking at Lena. “What’s the occasion?”
Lena rolls her eyes and reaches for her wine. She scowls against Sam’s cheeky smile, even though her heart is pounding furiously at being found out. “I could say the same to you.”
“You could,” Sam grins, taking the comment in happy stride. “Thanks! Sorry for uh--crashing.”
“Not at all,” Lena shrugs it off. It doesn’t really matter. The intrusion to her date is starting not to bother her as much as it did earlier. There was a second where it felt like the night was potentially heading in a different direction, even if it was only in Lena’s foolish imagination. But she should have known better than to start a rambling confession of her feelings. If anything, Sam and Alex might have saved her from doing something stupid. So no, the night hasn’t turned bad , per se. Just different. “You look happy.”
“I am,” Sam says, shrugging. She takes a sip of her wine and then her eyebrows furrow. “Aren’t you?”
Lena shrugs. Isn’t she? Part of her is, absolutely. And then part of her will always be left wanting. That’s the trouble with Kara. She’s perfect, and she makes Lena forget about all the things she’s had to endure in her life -- all the ridicule and rejection and scorn -- like for a second, Lena herself is enough. Kara sees her in a way no one else does, and she does all of the things Lena would want a girlfriend to do. But she remains tucked just out of reach, no matter how close they become. Even if that isn’t Kara’s intention, because Lena knows Kara would never hurt her on purpose, their relationship -- or really, their friendship -- keeps Lena at a frustrating arm’s length. It’s just enough that she can never fully give up hope, and just short of being enough that she can never fully hope to relax.
“Oh, come on, Lena! You and Kara are finally on a date …” Sam smiles, and Lena’s cheeks burn. “It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
“--it’s not a date.”
“It’s Valentine’s Day. It’s a date,” Sam insists, taking her wine glass and pointing at her. “And it’s about time, too. You guys have so much chemistry it’s kind of disgusting.”
“There’s no chemistry,” Lena vehemently denies, even though she’s lying through her teeth. They ooze chemistry, and everyone knows it. Every picture someone snaps of them together is so aesthetically pleasing, Lena herself almost wants to gag. It isn’t her fault that Kara seems to contrast perfectly with Lena’s everything. And, anyway, it doesn’t matter. They’re friends, and this is just another night. She will keep repeating it as many times as necessary for it to sink in. Eventually, she has to be successful in believing it.
Lena huffs out a frustrated sigh and bites her lip. She looks at Sam and watches as her friend’s smile slips into a more confused expression.
“I really don’t know what it is, actually,” Lena finally admits, and she averts her gaze away from Sam’s overly kind face. It isn’t that Sam is going to make fun of her, or make her feel bad. In fact, Lena knows she will be sweet, and gentle, and understanding, and somehow she feels like it’s worse to have someone’s sympathy in this moment.
“Lena…” Sam says softly. It’s the way her voice quivers, and the fact that Sam is the only one that’s seen her and Kara together enough times to get it. She knows what’s going on without Lena saying anything, and it’s what causes her to start to come undone.
“I mean, she invited me, right? She made all these grand plans, and she was so excited. It was honestly kind of adorable,” Lena admits, laughing softly to herself with fondness as she thinks about the way Kara’s face lit up when she told her about tonight. “I think I let myself get my hopes up for a minute. But then she did that thing she always does. She insisted she couldn’t bear the thought of me being alone, and then she smiled and said it’s what friends are for.”
“She didn’t,” Sam groans, leaning back in her chair. Lena nods in confirmation and watches as Sam shakes her head in disbelief. She starts to laugh, more at Kara’s oblivious expense than anything, and Lena joins in briefly, only to cover her own disappointment.
“It’s not funny!” Lena says after awhile, trying furiously to get her emotions under control. It is mildly humorous, but only for how pathetic it is, and Lena really can’t believe how ridiculously out of control she’s let her life get.
“It’s not, I’m sorry, you’re right,” Sam says, taking a deep breath and returning her face to a neutral expression. “But the friend card, really? Really ?”
“Granted, I’m not one to know the particular ins and outs of friendship,” Lena says, running her finger over the rim of her glass and staring at the rich red liquid inside. “But it just seems like a little..much.”
“You think?” Sam rolls her eyes and stares pointedly at Lena, as if to say we both know better . And Lena does. She really does. It’s too much, and it’s too heavy, and there are too many lines that have already been crossed. But what’s the alternative? Not being friends with Kara?
“Anyway, it’s fine. It still beats spending my evening alone with Russell Stover,” Lena pushes aside all her feelings and tries to smile. “I’m thankful I get to spend time with her at all.”
“I just don’t think she knows how to process you ,” Sam says firmly, gesturing over Lena’s figure and narrowing her eyes like she’s studying something.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean -- you’re you! You’re Lena Luthor. That’s a lot in and of itself, and not in the negative way that you’re probably thinking. You’re powerful, brilliant, sexy--” Lena shoots her an amused glare, and Sam rolls her eyes-- “You’re my boss, but I have eyes, and so does everyone else in National City. And even though we both know you’re total mush on the inside, that’s a lot for anyone to deal with, even when they know you.”
“Well Sam, aren’t you just the charmer? I can see why you have Alex fawning over you.” Lena grins, taking another sip of her wine.
“My jawline might not be insured for 500 thousand dollars, but I make it work.”
Sam smiles and tilts her glass in Lena’s direction, and Lena’s mouth hangs open at the comment.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but no--” Lena shakes her head, dismissing the high praise. She leans forward with a sarcastic grin. “It’s not insured for quite that much.”
“Anyway, I just think there’s so much between the two of you that Kara hasn’t let herself fall into the magnitude of it all. What you guys have transcends normal relationships. She probably hasn’t even considered that she has genuine feelings for you, because it’s so beyond that. You could ask her to marry you tomorrow and it would still fall short of what you two mean to each other.”
“That’s...profound. You’re making it sound way more iconic than it is, though,” Lena says with a wry smile. “Who knew you were such a romantic?”
“I mean it, Lena,” Sam scoffs, shaking her head. “Don’t act like you don’t feel that way, too. You’re both in so deep that you can’t even comprehend it. Which is why I’m here, to help you along. That’s what friends are actually for.”
It makes annoyingly perfect sense, and it’s painfully accurate. She feels exactly the way Sam described, and it’s terrifying to be so transparent. But Sam isn’t being judgemental or harsh, she’s simply stating what they both know, and Lena doesn’t have it in herself to argue against the truth anymore.
“Well, even if what you’re saying is true, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it,” Lena laments. At the rate they’re going, Lena can probably plan for several more years of friendship dates on Valentine’s Day if something doesn’t change. She wonders bitterly if jewelry stores will start carrying a line of friend-zoned gal-pal appreciation jewelry.
Maybe if she’s horribly unlucky, they’ll name it the Luthor Collection.
“You’re going to have to be the one to make a move,” Sam insists, looking over her wine glass with a smirk.
“I can’t -- it’ll ruin everything!” Lena argues immediately. She almost let it slip earlier how she was feeling, but trying to do that again? She’d rather face her mother a hundred times over than face the potential rejection of Kara Danvers.
“So you’re just going to sit here and continue to pine over her? That’s not the Lena I know,” Sam says firmly. “The Lena I know takes risks. You never sit and wait for things to fall in your lap.”
“That’s with business,” Lena points out, quirking a very sharp brow in Sam’s direction. “And those are all calculated risks, with very high potential upside.”
“And this would yield the greatest return of any risk you’ve taken because it’s not business,” Sam leans forward with a serious face. “It’s personal, and you deserve to be happy.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Lena leans forward with a smirk.
“Maybe I am,” Sam shrugs with a small smile. “I didn’t show up to this restaurant alone, after all.”
“What if I lose?” Lena practically whispers, afraid to say it out loud. Afraid what it all might mean if she does.
“What if you don’t?” Sam counters, and Lena is quiet.
“Are you this bold with my finances at L-Corp?” Lena finally replies, shaking her head at her CFO.
“Hopefully there will be no need for you to investigate that,” Sam remarks slyly, and Lena somehow feels markedly better, even if she has to make a quick mental note to actually check on her portfolio in the morning.
-------
“So that didn’t go quite according to plan…” Alex says later when they’re back in Sam’s kitchen, just the two of them. She looks like she wants to apologize, but Sam is just too thankful for her, and this entire evening, to even let her finish.
It’s been a rollercoaster of an evening, but not in a bad way. Truthfully, there’s very little that is going to get to Sam today after Alex finally got up the nerve to ask her out. She had been hoping for it, and wishing for it, and praying that it would eventually go in this direction, and now that it has, Sam feels like she could simply float. And even though their date was derailed by two star-crossed and stubborn idiots, the light and happy feeling is still warm in her chest, swirling pleasantly with a sip of her after dinner wine.
She looks over at Alex, who is staring back at her with a soft smile, and her own words to Lena start to play in the back of her mind. Alex makes her very aware of every nerve in her body, every flicker of heat along her skin and every jitter deep inside her core. It’s almost too much to think about for too long, like when Sam was younger and trying to comprehend the idea of forever. It’s just so infinite and vast that she has to take a few steps back and catch her breath before even attempting to rationalize something so grand.
“Oh, so you had a plan?” Sam jokes, looking over at her expectantly. She wants to lighten the mood, to make sure Alex knows it’s fine. It’s more than fine. This is all okay, because it’s them, and it’s perfect, and it’s only going to continue to be great. Alex looks down at her wine glass and Sam gushes over the way she is clearly trying so hard to make her happy.
“I mean--Not a plan , really...but I promise, whatever I was thinking, it didn’t include my sister jumping in and interrupting with her girlfriend that she doesn’t realize she’s dating.”
“The two of them are hilarious,” Sam shakes her head, quietly hoping that Lena gets the courage to talk to Kara tonight.
“God, I know, right? It’s almost painful,” Alex muses, taking a sip of wine as she grins. “You know it’s bad when my life is more put together.”
Sam laughs at this, because it’s typical Alex. She thinks she’s such a disaster, and sure, in some ways she’s a nervous, rambling mess when it comes to Sam, but that’s simply endearing. For the most part, though, she’s strong, and competent, and too gutsy for her own good. Sam admires her courage, and the way she carries herself, and often times finds herself hoping that more of Alex’s traits will rub off on her. She could always use more Alex Danvers swagger in her own life, that’s for sure.
“They’ll figure it out eventually,” Sam assures her. She pauses and watches as Alex’s lips seem twisted in contemplation, and she reaches out and puts a hand over her free one. “I still had a really fun time though.”
“Yeah?” Alex’s eyes are hopeful, and Sam finds herself wondering once again how she managed to get this lucky.
“Yeah,“ Sam says with a smile. “Sometimes it’s fun to go off script, don’t you think?”
“Sure,” Alex replies slowly, her eyes narrowing as she waits for Sam to continue.
“And fortunately, we’re alone now, and there’s still plenty of time for dessert,” Sam grins. It comes out more suggestive than she plans, but then again, it really doesn't. She means every word and all the innuendos, and her happy buzz is definitely allowing her to speak exactly what’s on her mind.
“Dessert? Oh, yeah, that’s--” Alex quirks an eyebrow as she takes another large sip of her wine. “Perfect.”
Sam walks over to the fridge and takes out a plate of strawberries dipped in chocolate that she had made earlier in the day for just this occasion. She winks at Alex, and revels in the fact that it causes her to turn a pleasant shade of crimson. She then proceeds to take the plate and her wine over to the couch. Alex trails behind quietly, and sits when Sam pats the empty space next to her.
“Was this more what you had in mind?” Sam asks, as she reaches for a strawberry and holds it out for Alex to bite. Alex looks at her with a playful smile, and Sam feels her stomach flutter with unmistakable attraction. She takes a small bite of the strawberry, and Sam puts the rest of it back on the plate, before she decides she really can’t take it anymore. She’s been patient long enough, trying to resist pawing at Alex all during dinner. But now, in the confines of her own house, with no one around to cause interruptions, she feels like it’s a perfect opportunity. And she’ll be damned if anything else comes up to try to ruin it.
She pulls Alex toward her by the collar of her shirt and feels her warm, sweet lips finally, finally crash into hers.
It’s soft and intense all at the same time, and it’s mixed with something that Sam can’t really identify -- almost a mutual longing, like Alex has been wanting it as badly as Sam has. Alex groans softly against Sam’s mouth, and Sam feels herself smiling into their kiss. It might just be the best first kiss Sam has ever had, and she practically melts when Alex’s arms wrap around her waist.
When they finally break apart for air, Alex softly chuckles.
“Yeah, I might have thought about that once or twice,” she says, leaning her forehead against Sam’s and tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Alex,” Sam exhales, pulling her in closer, ready to kiss her for as long as Alex will let her.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sam,” Alex responds, the last part of her words getting cut off by Sam’s mouth once again pushing against hers.
-------
The car ride back to Kara’s apartment is uncharacteristically quiet. Normally, she and Lena would be talking and laughing, and sitting too close to each other, with Lena practically in her lap, the two of them lost in their own little world. But now Kara is busy mulling over the depth of her feelings, the ones she can finally admit were always there, hiding deep below the surface just waiting for her to fish them out. She’s trying not to let her emotions drown her, but the line she’s cast seems to go on infinitely, and it’s terrifying.
The air is thick between them, and heavier than it’s ever been, because suddenly Kara is hyper focused on everything around her. The sound of Lena’s heartbeat echoes in her ears, and it’s a sound that Kara didn’t even realize she had already memorized. The smell of Lena’s perfume fills the car, and it’s a scent she didn’t even know had become her favorite months ago.
She is vaguely aware of the fact that Lena is also very quiet, and she briefly pulls herself out of her own thoughts to ponder what she must be thinking.
Kara glances over quickly to where Lena is sitting with her hands gracefully folded in her lap, as she stares out the window. Her side profile is so elegant that Kara wants to just reach out and stroke her cheek, or do anything to get Lena to look over at her with that sneaky smile she always has that makes Kara wonder exactly what’s going on in her head. Instead, the corners of her mouth are turned down in serious thought, and Kara feels immensely guilty. She looks at Lena’s hands again, and contemplates reaching for them the way she always does. She holds back though, because she realizes it means so much more now.
It has always meant so much more.
They pull up to Kara’s apartment and Lena turns to her.
“So that was…” she begins and Kara tries to smile, but instead she finds herself looking down and avoiding Lena’s eyes. “--interesting,” Lena finishes.
“--weird,” Kara says at the same time. She shuffles the to-go boxes in her hands and Lena tilts her head as she watches.
“I can’t believe we have leftovers. That is certainly a first,” Lena remarks, as she smiles softly at Kara. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course! I was just...distracted, you know, with everyone there,” Kara says, adjusting her glasses and clearing her throat. “Thank you, by the way, for dinner. You didn’t have to pay for everyone. I’m the one that invited you...”
“It was my pleasure, Kara,” Lena shrugs, and waves it off the way she always does. Kara knows it doesn’t technically matter, and that Lena could pay for every dinner probably for the rest of her life without even thinking about it, but it’s just the principle of the thing. She bites the inside of her cheek and shifts awkwardly, but she can’t stop the nervousness that takes hold of her. She shouldn’t feel so jittery, because it’s Lena, but she does, for that very same reason.
“Do you want to come upstairs for a night cap?” Kara finally asks, as she places a hand on the car door handle. She doesn’t want the night to end like this. It can’t. It’s too weird, and too heavy, and not at all what she imagined when she first came up with this brilliant plan.
“Oh, you drink brandy now?” Lena jokes, raising an amused eyebrow at Kara.
“Okay, no, but I have ice cream and any movie you want?” Kara suggests, and Lena finally smiles.
“Deal,” she agrees, and Kara nods.
They get upstairs, and Kara is still not succeeding in pretending that everything is fine. She is flustered, and far too aware of all of her movements. Everything just seems too loud and too abrupt and too much . She wants to just hug Lena, and have her understand -- have her know without using words -- everything that Kara wants to say. But that’s impossible, and Kara still doesn’t even know where to start. So instead of doing anything productive, she takes out a container of chocolate chip ice cream and retreats to the couch in cold silence.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” Lena asks softly as she follows her to the couch, taking her usual spot when she comes over for movie nights. She angles herself so she’s facing Kara, and she looks so concerned that Kara wants to just fall apart in her arms.
Falling in love with Lena isn’t what she expected, or what everyone said love would feel like. It doesn’t feel like lightning bolts or tidal waves or natural disasters. Instead it feels warm like Krypton; like a part of her home never actually faded away but instead simply relocated with her. It’s why she’s so protective, and why she’s terrified of losing Lena -- because to do so would be losing her world, completely and for good, and it’s something Kara can’t even begin to think about. There simply aren’t words for a feeling like that, and Kara knows, because she’s tried so hard and been forced to push it aside too many times to count.
“Yeah! No, it’s all fine!” Kara says too loudly, and Lena just smiles and looks down at the couch cushions before staring back at Kara with an unconvinced raise of her eyebrow.
“I just… I think I owe you an apology,” Kara starts, wringing her hands together nervously as she speaks.
“Oh, Kara, you don’t need to explain,” Lena reaches out and places her hand over Kara’s to steady them. “It was nice that you asked your sister and Sam to join us! I had fun. Really.”
“No! I mean, yes, I’m sorry for that too. But I’m sorry for this whole thing,” Kara explains slowly, looking up at Lena’s confused face. “For leading you on, basically.”
“Oh…” Lena says, her voice going deeper, the way it does when she’s masking everything she feels. She slowly pulls her hand back and places it in her lap, away from Kara. “It’s really okay, you never said it was anything other than a friendly dinner.“
Her face is crestfallen, even though she tries to smile, and Kara immediately starts to talk faster.
“No! That’s not--Okay. What I mean is, it was more than a friendly dinner. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I made all these plans...and I realize now that I really wanted it to be more than what it was….er, what I said it was. I… I always want it to be more.”
“You do?” Lena’s eyes widen as she blinks up at Kara in surprise.
“Yes! Of course I do! You’re--you’re Lena !”
“And that’s a good thing?” Lena asks, a small smile starting to appears near the corners of her mouth.
“It’s the best thing,” Kara says softly, reaching for her hands. Lena’s fingers interlock with hers, fitting perfectly like the key to a lock, and Kara exhales in relief. “How could I not like you?”
Lena shrugs, looking down at the floor. She doesn’t speak, but Kara sees the way her face lights up and her smile gets bigger the more Kara talks, so she decides to continue. If nothing else, it’s the most Lena has smiled all night, and that’s all Kara really wants, ever.
“And I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to figure that out. And obviously, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I know I keep saying we’re friends, but it feels like so much more when I’m around you, and I don’t want to be friends but ---”
She’s still talking when suddenly no more words are coming out of her mouth and instead she feels Lena’s warm lips pressed against hers, pushing insistently where words simply can’t exist. Kara wraps her arms around instinctively around Lena’s neck and pulls her desperately closer, allowing her mind to go completely blank as she lets herself get wrapped up in everything that is Lena, and everything that is them.
Lena makes her feel everything at an impossible level, like she somehow has the ability to magnify Kara’s superpowers, but above all, she makes her feel safe. She’s so many things -- powerful, attractive, brilliant, the list is almost infinite -- but she’s also warm, and gentle, and kind. Kara doesn’t have to be anything else around her: not a hero, not a genius, not a star. She can just be . Whenever she looks at Lena’s face, her heart feels like it’s filled to capacity, and she can’t believe she waited so long to acknowledge all of these feelings. But now, with Lena in her arms, and her lips on Kara’s own, she finally feels like she can breathe.
“I’ve been trying to find a way to do that for so long,” Lena whispers, her eyes slowly opening as she pulls back from Kara for a second. Kara shivers as Lena’s soft fingers graze along her cheek, and she finally understands the expression on Lena’s face -- it’s the one she’s always had around Kara, and it matches everything Kara has always felt when looking in Lena’s eyes.
Home.
“So if I wanted to kiss you again?” Kara asks, leaning closer and following Lena’s lips, desperate for them again, now that she’s been teased with a small taste of heaven.
“Oh, well, Kara, how can I say no?” Lena throws her a devilish smile, and with a quick raise of her eyebrow she leans in close, whispering into Kara’s ear. “Besides, isn’t that what friends are for?”
Kara groans at the joke, but her laughter is met with the heat of Lena’s lips, and suddenly there’s nowhere else on Earth that Kara would rather be.