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The Crazy Ex
Glad this happened. Now I know what a shitty guy you are.
“Fuck…this is the fifth text!” I threw my mobile across the table at Luke and rubbed my face, smudging my glasses at the same time.
Luke let out a low whistle. “You sure know how to pick ‘em Percy.”
I snorted and looked up just in time to see my mobile beep with another text. It lay atop the table between us like the last piece of toast at breakfast. Slowly he reached over and tapped the screen to read the message.
“Is says, If I was such a bother to you you should have said something you selfish bastard. Wow what a bitch.” He shook his head sympathetically and waved over the waiter. “And it was only one date?”
“Yes!” I hissed and ran my hands through my hair. One date. It barely even qualified as a date! It was a damn coffee date! “Melinda is fucking crazy.” I grumbled as the waiter approached.
“What can I get you?” He spoke in a low, smooth voice.
“What do you want Percy? My treat. I mean you are dealing with a psycho ex right now.”
“Crazy ex?” The waiter repeated, and I couldn’t help but look at him. He was about six feet with shaggy blonde hair and a bad tan, though I suppose working at the beach anyone would have a bad tan.
I nodded and wiped the palms of my hands on my shorts. “Kind of. It was one date and-”
Just then another text came in and Luke read it immediately. “You can’t even text back? Now I know the real you Percy.”
Nobody said anything for a few seconds and the late evening wind picked up. I took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of the sea as it hit me in my face and filled my lungs. This is what I enjoyed, the sea, the wind, calmness.
“Sounds like an angry girlfriend.” The waiter remarked offhandedly.
“Ex.” Luke corrected.
“She’s not even that! It was one fucking date! Over coffee!” I threw my hands up in surrender. “That’s it, I give up. I need a new number and I’m never dating again.”
“Don’t say that.” The waiter pulled out the extra chair and sat down. “Everyone has a crazy ex.” He chuckled. “Some more than others, point is you can’t just give up because one is-”
“For fucks sake this woman is persistent.” Luke muttered. “Never mind you prick.” He snorted and shook his head. “Seriously Percy. Next time you meet a girl don’t go it alone. You might end up locked in a basement somewhere.”
At that we chuckled and I sat back to stare up into the late evening sky, watching as the stars began to come out. “So everyone’s got a psycho ex girlfriend?”
“Yup.” The answered simultaneously.
“But it’s worth it in the end, dealing with the crazies to find that one true person you would do anything for.” The waiter spoke quietly. “I’d deal with all my ex’s again because it meant I would find my wife.”
I closed my eyes and nodded, thinking about what he said.
His wife. He had a wife that he obviously loved.
“Yeah Percy don’t get put off because of this one weirdo. Granted we’ll probably need to get you a restraining order but hey, remember that one crazy ex of mine? The one with the truck?”
“What about her?”
“Well after her I met Anna. And look at us now.” He chuckled and sighed. “Got to go through the weirdo’s to find the beautiful, sane, sweethearts that you know and love Percy.”
I cracked one eye open just as my mobile beeped again.
“You’re such an inconsiderate bastard Percy! God I’m so glad that I found this out now befor-okay you know what, I think we should go see a police officer about what we can do. Now.”