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The clock divides the night from zero to half
In the air, my memories are being jumbled up
Reminiscing is like a stream, slowly drifting toward the ocean
Constantly remembering myself that I need to be strong
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Minghao stares blankly at the ceiling as he lays wide awake on his bed. Unmoving even if his alarm had been ringing on his bedside drawer for a while.
‘Junnie will be whining for me to turn it off by now’
He turns his head to the other side of the bed out of habit. Only to find it empty and cold.
‘Ah yes, I forgot that he wasn’t here anymore. How stupid…’
With a sighs, he reaches out to turn the alarm off. Catching a glimpse of the date at the left part of the digital screen.
8.06, Fri
“Today is the day, huh?”
A small, sad smiles stretches on his ever tired face. Remembering how he spent the day from the past year since he was gone.
‘He won’t comeback, isn’t he? They wouldn’t let him to…’
Knowing how they’re, they probably did. Minghao knew it just as much as him. But still, his foolish mind choose to hang onto whatever sliver of hope he still have.
The Chinese guy drags his feet to the kitchen. Going over his morning routine automatically. Making coffee, eating whatever leftover stored in fridge while watching whatever was on the television in the moment. This time, it’s a weather forecast.
Minghao watches as the woman on the screen forecasting the weather of some part of South Korea with her cheery voice. Far too cheery for Minghao’s morning self.
“Unfortunately, it’s going to be a rainy day in Seoul later today. So please remember to bring your umbrella when you’re going out!”
“Rain, huh?” He turns his head to look at the sky from the balcony glass door. The skies is all clear blue and sunny sunshine. But, he knew better to let that fooled him. Who knows if those friendly looking clouds had water in it and ready to be pour down upon them anytime?
‘Yeah, just like me…’
.
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Songs take flight, those who sings revel in it
Even if I feel small, I too know how to make promises
The clouds that hang in the sky appears really beautifully
Yet who would know of the tears they hide
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“Hao…” Minghao turned around with a soft hum to the male in his arms. Letting him now he had his attention at the moment. However, not like he usually would do, Junhui had his eyes trained anywhere but on Minghao’s. His slender finger picking anxiously at the loose thread on his sleeves.
“What is it Junnie?” He tried again. Just for the older to look at him in the eye so he would know how he feels. There’s a few moment of silent before Junhui sighs and bring his gaze to the younger. His pair of beautiful dark eyes now had lose its twinkle. Minghao frowned.
“I’m scared…”
“Of what?” Junhui had his trembling bottom lips between his teeth, a sign that he was worried and scared.
“I… I don’t know. I’m just-“ His soft voice trembles with emotion as he struggle to get what was on his mind out. “I- I have this bad feeling in my gut that i- we never meet again. That once I go, I can never meet you again. I’m scared Hao,” He gulps. Eyes now brimming with unshed tears and trembling hands curling on top of his knees. Minghao hears an imaginary sounds of his heart cracking at the sign before him. Oh how he hates seeing his precious Junhui like this.
“Baobei,” He placed his hand on top of the other, gently uncurling it and clasping their hands together. “Don’t you want to go? Don’t you want to see your family?”
“I- of course I want!”
“Then go. Little Fengjun need you more than me. Though I’m always here anyway, you can meet me when you got back,”
“Promise?” Minghao smiles. One of his hand unclasp from Junhui’s and going up to cup his face. Thumb caressing his cheeks gently.
“Yeah. I promise you that I will wait you. Even if I’m not here when you comeback, you know where to find me right?” Junhui let out a sniffles as he nods. A small smiles bloomed on his beautiful face.
“Yeah,”
Minghao sighs as he remembers their last night together. He should’ve believe Junhui’s gut feeling and tell him to not go. But how can he say that when Junhui little brother, sweet little Fengjun, had been the reason why he had to go.
That night, Junhui’s Mom had called him. Saying that Fengjun had gotten so sick to the point that he had to be admitted to the hospital, and that he wanted to meet him. Junhui had immediately book a flight home that night.
It’s so oblivious to anyone that have seen them together how much the Wen siblings adores and cherishes each other. That’s why he can’t bring himself to tell him not to.
A loud sounds from the Television startles him. The cheery, children songs come out from it as the opening scene play on the screen. Minghao instantly recognize this as Junhui’s favorite cartoon that he watch when he had nothing to do in the morning. He remember how he would bouncing in the couch, supporting his oversize sweatshirt with hair sticking up to every direction, and voice so loud while he sings along the opening song.
“This is so funny, Hao! The fox one look like wonu and oh, the bear look so fluffy I want to hug him,”
Minghao let out a fond chuckles at the memory. Oh how he misses hearing his loud, cheery voice singing along to the cartoon, even though sometime it irritate him beyond believe.
The little fox character pop up on the screen with his robot in tows. Now that he look at it, the fox kinda looks like his friend, Wonwoo. Maybe Junhui was right after all.
.
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Time ticks by, telling me to stop thinking
Then alright, I will take a rest
This is a night that requires a dream in exchange
When I send him away, the dreams darken too
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Minghao remembers the time when he sends him away at the airport. Both of them hadn’t sleep at all the night before. Despite all the talk they had, the heavy feeling sat still in their hearts. Making them more anxious and dreading the next day. But none of them dare to voice it out to the other. Afraid that it will make the other feels doubted.
He remembers all the feeling he feels that day. All the doubt, fear, anxiety, and sadness that he had to push away for Junhui. He had to. Because he want to appear strong in front of Junhui, so that the older wouldn’t have to worry about him, about them. He want him to think that his promise is not only a promise but something that surely to come.
Their exchange of ‘I love you’ that day had been the most emotional one he’s ever had in his life.
.
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Don’t you know me by now
Who is singing, who is silently praying here
Only you will understand the leftover dreams
You who have gone faraway, only a blurry silhouette remains
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It’s a little past noon when he decides to take a shower and dress up. There’s still a lot of time before he had to go, so he takes his time doing that before decides to head to his art room.
The art room consist of his every master piece. And when he said every, he really means it literally. There’s a wall full with photos that he had taken upon times, a stack of CD of his dance performance throughout the year (courtesy of Wen Junhui), a thick book that hold all of his drawings, and various size of paintings on the other side with a lots of paint scattered around it. Minghao looks around in fond and proudness.
Arts has always been his passion since he could remember. Any kind of it. And it’s also the one who got him kicked out of his house.
He grown up in a very strict and old fashioned family, who want their kids to be a doctor or a lawyer. Arts is always something that his family frowned upon. That’s why he shut himself out in fears of other people knowing about his passion. Junhui had been the first one to know accidentally.
The boy had caught him drawing one day in the park, sometimes in his highschool year. That time they were totally stranger, so to hear Junhui compliment his drawing so genuine kinda baffled him. They became friends so fast and the next things he know, Junhui had been a part of his everyday life. He is also the one who encourage him to pursue his dreams, and even though he had been kicked out because of that, he doesn’t regret it at all.
He pickups his guitar from where it’s been resting on the wall, along with his messenger bag. Composing had been one of his new interest, the one that he picked up after he left. With the help of his friend, he had turned his frustration and sadness into songs. Songs that he longed to show to Junhui just to see his reaction and proudness in his eyes.
Seokmin had offered to help him by playing his songs in his radio station, in hopes that when Junhui back, he would be able to listen to it when he is not around. Minghao had smiles and thanking him for his offers. A sliver of hopes igniting inside of his heart.
.
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Looking at the rain outside the window, seemingly like a beautiful picture
I know that more drops of broken sadness appear in my memory
Like constantly resurfaces these shattered bits
Before the dawns I shallow all the darkness to face tomorrow
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The rains has pour down when he climb into the bus. Making him sighs in regret when he remembers that he left his umbrella behind. He curses his dumbness that even after knowing the weather today, and the reminder from the weather forecast lady, he still forget to bring his damn umbrella along. Too busy remembering about the past to notice.
He looks outside the window on his left. Eyes focusing on the droplets of water that sliding down on the clear surfaces.
‘Junnie used to love rain. I wonder if he still is,’
There’s no doubt that Junhui appreciated rain more than sunny day. Whenever it is raining outside, he would became soft and quiet. Opting to snuggle with him and napping the day away contently.
“Why are you like rain so much?” Minghao had asked him one rainy day as they snuggled on the living room couch. Junhui peered up at him with his drowsy eyes.
“Hmm? I don’t really know,” He answer sleepily as he snuggled deeper into his side. “I just feels at ease whenever it’s raining. It’s weird, huh.” Junhui scrunch up his nose cutely at the thought.
“No, it’s not weird at all. I think it’s endearing,”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah,” Junhui looks up at him with a wide smiles that Minghao loves the most.
“You always know how to please me, Mr. Xu,” He teases as he reaches up to kiss his beloved boyfriend. “Besides, I could snuggled with you and napping. What’s more best than that?”
He was pulled from his thought when the bus came into halts. The sign of his stop look back at him from the other side of the window. Minghao quickly grab his things and make his way out the bus.
The chilly wind and light drizzles greet him as soon as he step out. Luckily for him, he has manage to grab his thick coat and hat on the way out of his apartment. So that it doesn’t bother him too much.
As he makes his way to the destination, he notices that there’s still a lot of people in the park despite the rain. Couples sharing umbrella, group of youngster fooling around with their friends, adults going back from works, and kids jumping on a puddle with their parents watching over them. Oh now how he wish he brings his sketch book along to capture this moment. But that’s not his purpose right now.
“Yo, Minghao!”
“Yo,” He greets the grinning man and give him a bro hugs.
“I thought you aren’t coming this time. But guess nothing will stop you, ey?”
“Oh, you know me Chanyeol hyung,”
“True, true,” Minghao cast one last smile at him as he set up his things with the older help. Chanyeol is a street performer that he had meet 4 years ago, on the first time he performed on this park. They found out that they had similar taste in music and quickly bond over that.
“Well, it’s all set. Whenever you’re ready, dude,” Chanyeol gives him a thumbs up and stepping back. Minghao grins at him before strumming on his guitar. Warming his voice first and start to sing.
‘Night and Rain’ is his first song and the one with the most emotion he put into. He always sing this song for the past 4 years in this exact same place, and this exact date. Call him a sap, but this is where and when they first meet and the first time he ask Junhui out. This is their place and day, can you blame him if he hopes that this place is the one who will reunited them again?
People starts to come over to watch. Making a circle around him as they record or simply just listen to him. Every now and then, Minghao will found himself looking up to the crowds. Searching for a familiar tuft of reddish brown hair and twinkling eyes only to be disappointed when he didn’t find any. But still, he hang onto the hope that he will definitely see Junhui today.
“I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to fuss
Hiding under my blankets
I won’t admit defeat, I don’t know
Reality has never provided a forewarning,”
He remember the nights when he would curling under his blanket. Silently crying himself to sleep when he misses Junhui so badly. Ever since he went, Minghao can’t contact him at all. All calls went to voicemail and text unread. Making him thought if Junhui dumped him and never come back again. If his parents had succeed in making him change his mind and thus decided that he don’t want anything to do with him again. But he doubt it.
Junhui’s parents maybe hate him to the core, but their son is stubborn as heck. And no matter how hard they tried to make him change his mind, Junhui wouldn’t budge. And Minghao trust him, so he stop thinking about that possibility.
“Streets that have been drenched by the rain
The crowd is scarce, and few passerby will stay for me
The cars that drive by occasionally stir up the peaceful rain
The pigeon that takes flight occasionally may it be fearless,”
The song had nearing its end. And yet, Minghao still hasn’t find that familiar figures amongst the sea of bystander. He smiles sadly to himself. Maybe today is not the day…
“All the silhouettes on this street don’t look like you
Pacing back and forth alone
Waiting for you, waiting for you
This night I need you baby,”
As the song ends, the crowds erupts with cheers and applause. Minghao stands up from his seat and bow to the crowd in his gentle man manner.
“Thank you for your attention. I hope you guys had a nice da-“
“Xiao Hao,” He stops. Breath hitches as he recognize the voice that he’s been yearning to hear for the past years.
Slowly he turns his head to the side. His eyes focusing on the silhouette of someone he is been waiting for standing in front of him. Noting of how he hasn’t changed much since the last time he saw him.
“Junnie,” Junhui smiles at him, all watery smiles and glistening eyes. His long legs walking in a long strides at him and before he knows it, he got an arm full of sobbing Wen Junhui.
And he hugs him. He hugs him so tight that he will never gone again. A reassurance that Junhui, his baobei Junnie, is really there, safe and sound in his arms.
“Junnie, baobei. God, it’s really you,” He sputter in disbelieve. Junhui breaks apart from their hug and smirk at him. His eyes red rimmed from crying earlier.
“Yes, it is me silly. I’m here,” Even though they’re in a public and there’s still a crowds gathering around them, Minghao still couldn’t careless as he leans in toward his boyfriend. Capturing his lips that he misses so much in a loving kiss. The crowds erupts in cheers and applause once again.
Junhui dives back into his chest when they breaks apart. A matching wide smiles on both of their face showing how happy they’re. Minghao hears him mumbles something that makes his smile grows wider.
“I’m home,”
“Welcome home,”