Work Text:
Alex Danvers loves the fall.
Sure, the seasons don’t drastically change in National City. In fact, it’s hard to know October has even settled in without taking a long, winding drive up the coast in the direction of Midvale’s cozy side streets. But there’s something to be said for the shift in the air when the sun goes down in late September.
It’s not the pumpkin spice lattes that make the season her favorite, or the endless sugary treats that Kara insists on bringing everywhere ‘because it’s fall, Alex’! Nor is it the scary movies on every channel or the fuzzy blankets that start to creep on every couch and bed in her apartment. She likes all those things, but those are just usual seasonal niceties.
It’s more than that. It’s the feeling autumn brings. The nostalgia of youth dances in with the changing breeze and wraps itself protectively around her neck like one of Eliza’s crocheted scarves. There’s the thrilling sensation of a new beginning, like that nervous rush she used to feel on the first day of school. Even though she’s far from being a kid anymore, and doesn’t have any kids of her own, there’s still that excitement about something to come. Like a chance to change direction, to start over, refresh. There aren’t words for the feeling she gets around this time of year, but Alex knows that somewhere, the leaves are changing, and somehow, there’s hope for things to change for her, too.
(And, if she happens to spike some apple cider with her favorite brand of whiskey on crisp nights in November, well, ‘tis the season for that, too.)
Alex sighs contently as she pushes open the door to Noonan’s, a stop she rarely gets to make on her busier days. The DEO is demanding as always and she has a whole fleet of new recruits to train, but she’s starting to get a hold on this new director thing. Enough to catch a few glorious minutes of peace, anyway. National City is finally calm with Kara at her best - the threats from months ago long vanquished - and abruptly relocated, she reminds herself. It's an invasive thought, one that pops up more frequently than she'd like to admit. A complicated predicament weighs heavily on her chest. She never thought she’d long for something she never had, but then again, nothing in her life ever seems to go according to plan.
She pushes it all from her mind quickly. Not before some hot caffeine.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes Are Here! a cheerful sign screams as she stares up at the menu. She shakes her head, cursing herself internally before ordering two. Kara would never forgive her for making a Noonan’s run and forgetting something as important as a latte.
“Alex!” a small voice cries out by the door, interrupting her thoughts.
Alex scans the small room, sure that she’s imagining things. It sounds so familiar, that if she didn’t know any better, she’d swear...
“Hey--oof!” Alex grunts as Ruby barrels into her, arms wide and smile wider. She wraps the girl up in an equally enthusiastic hug.
“Rubes! I didn’t know you were in town! How ya been?”
It’s been 4 months and 4 days since she’s last seen Ruby, not that she’s keeping track, exactly. She actually has to pause to consider if it’s really been that long. Some days, it feels like just yesterday - the scary parts, at least - but other days, it feels like a lifetime ago. The Reign saga feels more like a nightmare that fades in the morning light, with fuzzy details that don’t seem to fit together quite right anymore. But it’s been that long since Sam Arias managed to fight an impossible battle against herself, and save them all in the process. It’s been that long since Alex had to race the clock to save a family, then say goodbye to something she hadn’t quite brought herself to define.
It’s been that long since she has been left with more than one void in her heart.
“We just got here yesterday!” Ruby announces. She immediately launches into a fast chirping account of every detail of her summer, pulling Alex to a nearby table as they talk. She bounces from topic to topic, talking animatedly about soccer and school and new friends so fast that Alex can barely keep up. She notices the way Ruby’s eyes light up, and the way she stands taller now, happier and lighter than ever.
Ruby is thriving. Alex can tell within minutes that Metropolis was a good idea, after all. She should be thrilled, but she doesn’t like the way her heart sinks.
“It sounds like you’ve been busy!” Alex settles with, trying to match Ruby’s hopeful smile.
“So busy! Metropolis is so cool!” Ruby exclaims. She catches Alex’s eye and her smile falters slightly for the first time. “But I miss being here too.” She says it so softly that it’s almost an apology. Alex wants to believe that there is more to the story: more that Ruby doesn’t say, more that Sam thinks about on lonely nights in her office thousands of miles away.
‘I miss you. We miss you.’
The words she longs to hear echo in the silent corners of her mind, but remain hidden behind knowing eyes.
The bells clank and clatter as the door to the cafe swings open, allowing the sounds and smells of outside to bluster in. Suddenly everything becomes muted, like time itself isn’t sure whether to keep moving forward or pause and stare at the figure standing by the entrance. Alex doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is. She feels it as sure as the changing winds.
“Ruby?”
Sam looks around cautiously. Their eyes connect and Alex feels every nerve ignite, red hot and bright, like the explosion of colors on a late October morning.
If a person could be a season, Sam Arias would be autumn. She’s a bonfire blazing, crimson cheek blushing, sweetened latte with extra shots of espresso, type of world force. She blows into Noonan’s effortlessly, with a bright smile that crinkles the corners of her eyes in a way that makes Alex lose her breath all over again.
“How did I know we’d find you here?” Sam asks, her voice playful. Her smile is the same as Alex remembers - sweet, but spiked with mischief.
“Some things never change,” Alex shrugs, feeling her cheeks blaze as Sam approaches. It’s true, in a way. The fundamental things haven’t changed. She’s still here, going through the motions, her life back to relative normal after Sam’s departure. But under the surface, everything is different. Her hands tremble as she runs them through her hair. She begs herself to get a grip as she swallows dryly.
“It’s great to see you,” Sam breathes, her voice muffled against Alex’s neck as she squeezes her close. She pulls back slowly and looks at Alex’s face, her eyes sparkling with something Alex can’t quite name.
“Yeah. Yeah you too.”
Before her departure, Lena and Alex had concluded that there would be no residual effects from Sam’s time as Reign - no super strength, no super hearing - but it doesn’t take super powers to make her stand out in a crowd. As far as Alex is concerned, she still looks as stunning as ever. Sam is radiant, and strong, her long legs hugged tightly by black jeans that outline every curve and angle. Her hair is shorter now, layered in caramel waves along her shoulders, just kissing the outline of her collarbone.
Alex feels a longing creep back up insistently, clawing at her in protest for all the months she’s kept it suppressed. The inconvenience of the timing is criminal.
“Surprise?” Sam suggests, a grin lighting up her face.
“Definitely a surprise!” Alex replies, acting like this is a simple, happy occurrence and not life altering in any way. There are a million things she wants to say - how are you? What have you been doing? Do you miss it here? Instead, the words can’t seem to find their way to her lips. She gapes at Sam, the long explanations of their time apart tucked away behind small, cautious smiles.
“How is everything?” Sam starts, just as Alex clumsily blurts, “What are you doing here?”
Alex’s eyes widen as she notes the blush that trails up Sam’s cheeks. Her eyes flutter bashfully to the floor.
“I have a few more things here I need to wrap up,” Sam explains quickly. Alex chews at the inside of her cheek. It doesn’t sound like a promising answer. Definitely not the explanation of someone here to seek something - or someone - out. “Work related.” Sam notes, an extra punch to the gut.
“Ah. L-Corp business never stops.” Alex nods thoughtfully, careful to avoid Sam’s eyes as she focuses on the plastic lid of her significantly colder latte.
“Can Alex come with us to Bowman’s? Please?” Ruby suddenly asks, staring up at her mother and back at Alex with a grin. “We haven’t seen her in so long! Please!”
“Oh, gosh, Rubes. I’m sure Alex already has plans this weekend. We didn’t exactly announce that we’d be here.” Sam looks apologetically in Alex’s direction. “I would have, by the way. Called, I mean. This trip was just very last minute.”
“No, of course. There’s been a lot going on. I get it.”
Alex tries her best to keep a smile on her face. She turns to Ruby. “Bowman’s though, huh? That place is great. They always have the best pumpkins.”
“And cider!” Ruby says. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“We try to go every year.” Sam smiles at Ruby, who beams. Alex softens at the reminder that after everything they’ve been through, they can still have something good. They deserve that, even if it doesn’t include her anymore. “It’s just a small family tradition. One of the few I actually manage to keep up with.” Sam’s shoulders shrug in that self-deprecating way she always has when it comes to her parenting skills. Alex can think of a million reasons why Sam is actually a fantastic mother, but she keeps silent and chews on her lip instead.
“So I figured as long as I’m in town, we’d try to make it a thing.” Sam finishes.
“That sounds really nice.”
Sam frowns for a moment. “I mean, if you don’t have plans I’d - we - would love if you joined us.”
She runs her fingers through her hair, the crimped waves easily parting as she does. Alex remains transfixed, staring at her hands, temporarily forgetting that she’s in the middle of a conversation.
“Oh I don’t want to intrude --” she finally blurts, remembering how to speak.
“You aren’t!” Ruby exclaims. “Please! Fall is the best season. You get pumpkins and cider donuts! And football, of course.”
“Football?” Alex glances at Sam, who grins.
Ruby pipes in about their favorite team. “The Metropolis Giants! They’ve always been mom’s favorite, and now we actually live there so we can see them all the time!”
Alex can’t help but smirk. “Oh really?”
“Old habit from when I was a kid, but it just sort of stuck.” Sam shrugs, her face containing a guilty but challenging expression. Alex remembers that face well from several competitive game nights.
“I’m more of a fan of the hometown team myself,” Alex says, sure to square her chin defiantly. Sam rolls her eyes, but fails to hide her smile. “But pumpkins sound great.”
---
Bowman’s orchard is situated just on the outskirts of town, nestled behind rolling hills at the end of a long dirt road. It’s the perfect hidden gem for a taste of country fall, so long as you know where to look. The farm itself is small, with just enough land to call itself an orchard. But that doesn’t matter. There’s a genuine sweetness to it, something warm and inviting that Alex has always been fond of. The city noises begin to fade into the distance as the trees unfold before her, transitioning into subtle hues of auburn and yellow.
It’s the place the Danvers sisters spent their first fall in National City after Kara finally made the move to start college. They were both feeling particularly homesick that season, the trip to Midvale a bit too far, the days off from work and school a bit too short. So, instead, after a little detective work and some convincing, Alex had dragged her sister to the tiny farm she found on Google in an attempt to cheer them both up.
It took a dozen cider donuts and a car full of pumpkins, but a few hours later, Kara declared it a new tradition.
(And now, years later, when Kara is the one to drag Alex out to their little farm oasis, she only half-heartedly complains about being too old for it. After all, you never really outgrow a feeling like this.)
The air is fresher out here, away from skyscrapers and traffic. Alex’s mind wanders freely, drifting and floating like a fallen leaf. Inevitably, it falls on a certain brunette who seems to crash into Alex’s life at the most interesting times: always with little to no explanation, and always for too short a visit.
She wonders how long Sam will stay this time. She wonders how she’s doing, how she’s really doing, and what might have brought her all the way back. She wonders what plans she’s made, or if she’s bothered to make any at all.
And finally, despite herself, she wonders why Sam didn’t call. A last minute trip, she had said. A rushed decision, something she seemed adorably flustered and distracted about. Alex knows her work excuse is plausible -- even when she was the CFO of the National City division of L-Corp, she still had very last minute things to attend to. But she had enough time to bring Ruby. She had enough time for coffee.
She had enough time to call.
Alex isn’t sure if she’s more bothered by the lack of a phone call, or the nagging feeling that if they hadn’t run into each other at Noonan’s, Sam might have blown through town without so much as a whisper. The thought shoots through her, unwelcome and jagged - not because Sam owes her a phone call - but because maybe these feelings, this connection, are all in Alex’s imagination. Sam is a busy woman with a lot on her plate, and if Alex isn’t on her mind, she shouldn’t be so disappointed.
She parks her motorcycle close to the gate, where a shoddy wooden sign points toward a general store. The thick cinnamon scent of cider donuts mingles with the musty smell of matted hay, creating what Alex thinks is the perfect fall essence. She strides over to the entrance feeling the dreadful pull of nervousness coil in her stomach.
She tries to imagine what the fall season must look like in Metropolis - the explosions of color as leaves adorn the streets, falling from massive, ancient oaks. National City doesn’t hold a candle to something as spectacular as a Northeast autumn, and Alex can’t shake the feeling that maybe everything in Metropolis is better and brighter.
It doesn’t take long to spot Sam and Ruby. The hard to miss pair are standing by the red barn, chatting excitedly. Alex can hear animated remarks about jack-o-lanterns and toasted pumpkin seeds, which she can only gather means some big plans after today’s trip. Sam leans against the barn fence, her cozy sweatshirt and faded jeans looking distractingly comfortable. Sam somehow manages to look the part of approachable, attractive, single mom with ease, despite her high stakes job with the even higher salary. Alex loses herself in the moment, staring in their direction.
“Thank you,” Sam had whispered quietly, wrapping her fingers around Alex’s hand and squeezing firmly. “I know that’s not enough for what you did, but I’ll never forget it.”
“Of course,” Alex had said, her voice cracking. She tried her best to stay stoic, shrugging off the heaviness of the moment, and the weight of all her feelings. “Take -- take good care of yourself. And Ruby, of course.”
Sam had chuckled softly, nodding an affirmation as she turned away slowly. The DEO was bustling with people, so their conversation was far from intimate. Worse, there was no attempt to make it less permanent - it was every bit the good-bye that Alex had feared. There was no half-hearted attempt to make plans, no hints at a visit. Just a final head nod, and one small wave when Sam turned back around for a look that lasted a few seconds too long.
And that was it. Just like that, Sam and Ruby were gone.
Alex tries to ground herself in the present. That had been months ago, and surely, she is being overly dramatic. She didn’t even know Sam and Ruby for that long. Less than a year, and yet here she is unraveling over a friend’s departure. It’s ridiculous how much she agonizes over details, staying up late scrutinizing looks received over wine glasses at game night or stares across the room at holiday parties. So what if there might have been something between them? None of it was enough for Sam to stay, anyway.
That’s what it comes down to, Alex realizes. She feels hurt, even though it’s the last thing she can really say out loud. She can’t blame Sam for leaving - she had to do what was best for her family. And besides, she and Ruby had simply moved across the country, which in the grand scheme of things, is a much better alternative to what could have been. Alex feels the ache in her jaw from clenching so tightly. She forces herself to relax. Maybe this is the best it can be. Maybe her place in their lives is only meant to be a small blip on the radar: impactful and strong, but short-lived. If she’s learned anything in her adult life it’s that there is no use to dwell on things that cannot be controlled.
When Sam tosses her head back in laughter, Alex almost turns around to leave. They’re fine, now. And they certainly don’t need anything in National City to drag them back.
“Alex!”
Ruby’s voice cuts through her crippling self doubt, and Alex squares her shoulders and finds the strength to plaster a smile on her face. It becomes genuine the instant Ruby prances over and wraps her in another hug.
“I’m so glad you came!”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it,” Alex says, glancing over at Sam sheepishly, as if she could read her thoughts. “I can’t turn down a cider donut from Bowman’s.”
Sam nods with a knowing smile.
“Nice sweater.” Alex nods at the Metropolis Giants logo flashing brightly across Sam’s chest. “Very on brand.”
“In case you thought I was kidding,” Sam teases, tugging slightly at the strings dangling from the hood.
The trio turn and head for the rickety hayride meant to take them out to the field. The sun is high in the sky, reflecting off the metal tractors as they labor back and forth. After a few minutes, the hayride pulls up to rows and rows of uniform lengths and widths, each boasting a selection of pumpkins more appealing than the last.
“Do you know how to carve a pumpkin?” Ruby asks, shifting to turn back to Alex as they descend the stairs of the hayride.
“Do I know how to carve a pumpkin? I’ll have you know you’re looking at last year’s winner of the Danvers family pumpkin carving contest.”
“How’d you manage that?” Sam asks, smirking with disbelief.
“I happen to be great with a knife,” Alex shrugs. She turns back to Ruby. “I can teach you a few tricks some time.”
“Cool!”
Sam clears her throat and shoots her a glare, which Alex accepts with a wink back at Ruby.
“You’re trouble,” Sam replies, her voice low and warning. Alex can’t help but love the way she says it. She catches the smallest hint of a smile just as Sam turns away, still shaking her head.
The farm is crowded, but not to the point of discomfort. Sam, Alex and Ruby start meandering through the patch slowly, examining pumpkins and categorizing them into their proper uses. Full, lumpy pumpkins for seeds and baking, and round, symmetrical ones for carving. Ruby is adamant about this task, and Alex salutes as they trek off in search of “the one”.
After a few minutes, Alex scans the field and takes notice of the abundance of children around her. She watches as toddlers wander down the paths, their legs bowed and arms outstretched for balance as they call out in excitement. Children too young or too tired to walk lay curled up in strollers, their little faces sticky with something Alex assumes is apple flavored.
She marvels at families with jobs and routines much less daunting than hers, able to lead the normal family life she craves on a daily basis. She watches mothers yell stern warnings to kids teetering on the edge of almost-danger, and her heart instantly aches. It isn’t jealousy, per se, but the feeling is deep rooted and strong, enough to cause her anguish. The old doubts come rumbling back with force, and she can’t help but wonder if her friends are right about having it all, or if she’ll always be left making sacrifices.
The feeling of someone staring pulls her away from her thoughts. Alex’s heart flips as Sam catches her in a moment: a painfully obvious, somewhat vulnerable, only a few inches shy of confessing her feelings type moment. Alex looks away guiltily, but not before Sam’s eyes soften just enough to show her understanding.
Sam was there throughout the aftermath of Alex’s break up with Maggie. She knows that Alex wants a family, enough to cancel a wedding with someone she loves in order to make that a reality. Sam also knows how close Ruby and Alex got in her absence. Somehow, her deep understanding feels suffocating now. When she looks in Sam’s eyes, she knows the answer to all of this is right in front of her, arms length away, and somehow, that makes it all infinitely worse.
Alex turns away and pretends to focus on a particularly large pumpkin. She’s taken to absent-mindedly flicking the blade of her pocket knife out and back, listening to the satisfying slice of the blade through the air. It’s an intimidating habit fueled by anxiety that Kara has told her on more than one occasion makes her “unapproachable”. Ruby, however, takes no issue with it and walks up alongside her, staring at the knife with a fascinated look on her face.
Alex looks down at her and follows her gaze. “Want me to show you how to cut the stem?”
Ruby nods and they both crouch down, huddling closely like co-conspirators. Alex takes the stem firmly and points wordlessly to where she intends to cut. With a strong flick of her wrist, the blade cuts, and the pumpkin is freed. Ruby’s eyes widen.
“Woah!”
Alex hears footsteps and quickly pockets the knife before Sam approaches, smiling at Ruby who grins back. It makes her miss the small moments they used to share when Ruby had to stay with her. She wouldn’t wish for that time back, by any means, but sometimes, when Reign was out of sight long enough that it could almost be forgotten, the two had made a pretty great team.
“Guess what time it is?” Sam calls out, clapping her hands in excitement.
“Please don’t say it!” Alex and Ruby both groan, exchanging eye rolls.
“You guys are no fun,” Sam complains, crossing her arms.
They head back toward the general store with Sam taking lead, her long strides forcing Alex and Ruby to trot in order to keep up with her. She smirks back at them before turning back around. All Alex can hear is Sam hollering “It’s cider donut o’clock!”, before breaking off into a run.
“Moommmmm!” Ruby groans, immediately giving chase. Alex quickly picks up the pace to try to catch them, but there’s no stopping Sam Arias on a donut mission.
They order enough donuts for a small army, which warms Alex’s heart. It reminds her of her sister, and the exorbitant amount of donuts they always acquire when they visit the farm. Somehow, this whole visit feels like being with family, and the thought tugs at her long after they sit down.
“You’ve got a little --“ Alex grins, reaching for her own face and wiping at the spot where cinnamon sugar sits tantalizingly close to Sam’s lips.
“That’s the look I was going for,” Sam says, shrugging. She reaches up and wipes the sugar away with her thumb and raises her eyebrow.
“Oh, they don’t wipe away crumbs in the Northeast?” Alex teases. Ruby giggles, clearly delighted that someone can get away with teasing her mother.
“No it’s too cold,” Sam quips, flashing a cheeky smile. “Eat your donut.”
Alex turns to Ruby.
“Wanna know a secret?” Alex says, taking a huge bite of her donut. She chews thoughtfully as Ruby nods. “Supergirl loves cider donuts.”
“No way!” Ruby exclaims. “Do you think she’ll want one?”
“I think,” Alex starts, before noticing the blur of red and blue behind Ruby’s head. “You can ask her yourself.”
Ruby’s eyes widen in disbelief as she turns quickly.
“Supergirl!”
“I heard you were back in town!” Supergirl announces, strolling over with her hands on her hips. Alex catches the subtle nod thrown in her direction. “Sam, it’s good to see you, too.”
“Supergirl, what a surprise!” Sam says quickly. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah! Everything is great! I just came because --” Supergirl pauses, eyeing Alex impatiently -- “donuts! I was in the neighborhood and I can’t pass by without a donut.”
“Ah,” Sam nods. “You came to the right place, then.”
“You certainly did,” Alex says, staring at Kara and wondering a million different things. Namely, why she would come all the way here to interrupt everything if it wasn’t a dire emergency.
Kara simply glances from Sam to Alex and back, finally landing on Alex with a pointed stare. She clears her throat and turns to Ruby.
“I have to judge a pie contest in a few minutes and I was wondering,” Kara looks back at Alex and Sam quickly before focusing on Ruby. “If you would mind helping me pick a winner?”
“Um, of course I’ll help! Mom, is that okay?”
Sam glances at Alex with a narrow gaze like she’s calculating something, which is exactly what Alex is trying to do, too. But without too much hesitation, Sam simply nods.
“Of course sweetheart, that sounds like fun.”
Sam excuses herself to go order apple cider while Ruby, Kara and Alex head outside. Alex leans close to Kara’s ear.
“What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?” Kara whispers. “I’m helping you. Now talk to her!”
Alex sighs in exasperation and turns back toward the shop, watching Sam make small talk with the cashier. She can hear the tail end of a silly comment -- something about apples being appealing-- and Alex practically melts on the spot. Sam is all easy smiles and casual invitations, and Alex wishes she could always be on the receiving end of a Sam Arias joke. Even when she pretends they’re lame.
Ruby shivers next to her and Alex unzips her sweatshirt and hands it over.
“Better take this, it’s starting to get chilly.”
“But what will you wear?” Ruby asks, holding the sweatshirt tentatively.
The wind picks up around them slightly, a friendly reminder that the sun will be setting soon. Alex shrugs.
“I think I’ll be alright,” she says, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks when the girl’s face beams back at her. She takes the sweatshirt and pulls it on, zipping it up quickly. It fits almost perfectly, with just a little extra room to spare.
“Thanks!”
As Ruby prances off with Kara, a tall, lanky shadow wordlessly glides into Alex’s periphery.
“You’re gonna regret that,” Sam says, nodding in Ruby’s direction.
“Oh, yeah?”
Alex stubbornly crosses her bare arms to ward off the wind, but mostly to make a point. Sam’s lips twist to the side as she watches Alex with amusement. She finally rolls her eyes and places the cups of cider on the ground. She takes off her sweatshirt, holding it out for Alex to wear.
Alex stares at the logo. “I’m not wearing that.”
“Fine, then you can freeze,” Sam shrugs, opening the sweatshirt fully. “But it’s a perfectly good, extra fluffy, incredibly warm, delightful sweatshirt…”
There’s a long pause as the wind continues to churn around them. Alex feels the goosebumps on her arms, but still refuses to give in to Sam’s know-it-all mom smirk. Finally, knowing full well they are both far too stubborn for this game, and really because it’s much colder than she anticipated, she reaches her hand out.
“Give it.”
“Ha!” Sam nods, victorious. She hands it over.
Immediately Alex regrets her decision. The sweatshirt smells like an intoxicating combination of floral shampoo and light, sandalwood cologne, a scent that triggers every memory Alex has of being near Sam in the small time they had together. She resists the urge - barely - to inhale deeper, but the damage is already done. She can’t help but think about the nights she spent sitting close to Sam, their knees barely touching on the couch in Kara’s office, or during girl’s nights when her feelings couldn’t come at a more inappropriate time.
She remembers Sam rushing in to Kara’s Christmas party, all flustered and wind blown and exquisite, smelling faintly like store bought cookies and this very same combination of products.
She remembers Sam’s smile, and her big doe eyes looking at Alex with something more than gratitude, taking a lollipop with a smile after their first round of tests.
Alex remembers every detail of their time together, and she wonders if Sam ever thinks about it, too.
They walk in silence, pointing at more pumpkins and each taking turns commenting on what kind of jack-o-lantern it would make.
“It’s weird, being back here again,” Sam says, her voice lowering to a whispery confession. Alex swallows heavily, wondering exactly what kind of weird Sam is referring to.
“Oh--”
“Not in a bad way!” Sam quickly interjects. Alex exhales. “I thought it might be. You know, after-- everything.” Sam says it with a wince, and Alex reaches for her shoulder before she can stop herself. Sam doesn’t shrink away, but something still causes Alex to recoil. “But it’s actually comforting. There’s something about this time of year, you know? It always makes me want to be home.”
“It’s my favorite season, even in California,” Alex replies.
“Mine too.”
They pull up a seat on top of a scratchy hay bale. Sam looks around warily, scanning the field as if looking for something. For the most part, they’re off to the side where no one is paying them any attention due to the ruckus of the pie contest. Kara has apparently finished off two full pies, to the tune of a cheering crowd.
Sam pulls out a flask from her purse and shakes it slightly with a sly smile.
“And what is that?” Alex asks, exaggerating her reaction. “Sam Arias, I am shocked.”
“I’m a single mom, not a saint.” Sam rolls her eyes, leaning into Alex with a playful shove. “Are you getting soft on me?”
“Not a chance,” Alex laughs, holding out her cup for Sam to pour into.
Sam has a heavy hand with the liquor and Alex studies her as she focuses on pouring. It’s hard to shake the feeling like it’s back to old times, the two of them able to slip into casual jokes like they didn't get torn apart by Kryptonian spells and a cross-country relocation. Part of her has always felt like she knows Sam - even from the very beginning. They just get each other on that special level that always means more: more important, more intense, more everything. Alex feels it deeply, like her soul has always been blowing in the breeze, looking for this very thing.
“How’s Metropolis-- really?” Alex asks, as Sam twists the top on the flask and pops it back in her purse.
Sam pauses, swirling her drink around for a few seconds before answering.
“Cold.”
Alex chuckles at the response. Trust Sam to be blunt and obvious, conveying everything she feels in one simple word.
“Ruby seems to be adjusting well,” Alex tries again. Sam softens and nods, the traces of a proud smile across her lips.
“She’s strong, that one,” Sam grins, shaking her head. “I don’t know where she gets it.”
“I do,” Alex says, her eyes finding Sam’s.
Sam sighs, like the weight of the implication is just a little too much for her to bear.
“It’s hard sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful -- for all of it. The opportunity Lena gave me, and the fact that there’s anything even left of my life to get to move on with. It’s all incredible. It’s just sometimes, there’s something…” Sam’s shoulders sag slightly. She smiles, but it seems to hide what she doesn’t finish saying.
“--There’s just something missing,” Alex finishes. She doesn’t ask, because she knows.
“Yeah.”
They sit in silence for a few minutes, exchanging a knowing look that Alex feels deep in her bones.
“So how long are you staying?” Alex asks. Anything to keep the conversation going in this direction. She needs more. Anything Sam will give her.
“For a little while.”
There’s a long pause before Sam sighs. She looks down at the ground, shaking her head. “You’re-- a lot,” Sam says finally. Alex sits up straighter. What does that mean?
“I’m...thanks?”
“It’s a compliment,” Sam insists. “It’s just all so much. In a good way.”
Alex nods slowly. Isn’t that the truth. She stares at the ground, not trusting herself to speak.
“I didn’t come here because of work,” Sam admits. She glances up at Alex finally, like she’s testing for a reaction. “And I didn’t call because I was afraid I’d lose my nerve.”
“You-- oh. Okay,” Alex replies. Her heart is pounding, despite her best efforts. “You don’t need an excuse to be here, you know. It’s your home, too.”
“No, I know. Of course. You’re nice,” Sam says, smiling. “It was your sister, actually.” She takes a sip of her cider while Alex tries to control the whiplash she almost experiences.
Kara? What could she possibly have to do with any of this?
“What?”
Sam nods. “Kara came to Metropolis. She said it was to do an article on my new position with L-Corp, but it seemed more of a personal visit.” Alex’s stomach drops, but Sam only shakes her head with a reassuring smile. “It was sweet. At first I figured it was because Lena was in town.”
“Well, that’s fair,” Alex concedes. Everyone is very familiar with the way Lena and Kara can’t seem to get enough of each other. Except, of course, Lena and Kara.
“But then it became obvious she really was there to see me. Kind of strange how she just sort of popped up, though.”
“Oh, well that’s --” Alex stops as Sam tilts her head knowingly.
“Kind of like now.”
“What? What do you --” Alex frantically looks toward Kara and back at Sam, who is shaking her head. “Supergirl? What does she have to do with it?”
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Sam promises. “And I didn’t mind that she came to see me.”
Alex clenches her jaw before finally relenting. She’s beginning to lose track of all the people Kara has exposed herself to. It seems the only person on the planet that doesn’t know is Lena Luthor, which is borderline unbelievable.
“What did she--”
“She told me to come back,” Sam interjects bluntly, causing Alex to swallow her drink harshly. She knows Kara meant it in a way to get Sam to come back to her. And she’s confident that Sam must have gotten the gist of that, too. She coughs despite herself.
Sam continues. “She mentioned that she thought it might boost your spirits a little.”
“Oh did she now?” Alex feels the rage infused blush creep up her neck and ignite her cheeks. Kara isn't wrong, of course. But Sam doesn't need to know that.
“Actually, I think the words she used were something to the effect of: my sister is seriously bummed.”
“Remind me to kill her later.”
Sam laughs and Alex can’t help but mimic her smile. She stares out over the sunset, and Alex watches the way the shadows softly caress across her face. She wonders what she’s thinking. Sam is warm and radiant with empathy, but hard to read when it comes to her own feelings. It’s definitely something that she’s back in National City for a personal reason, but her soft silence isn’t doing Alex any favors.
“Was she right?” Sam asks quietly after a few moments.
Alex doesn’t answer. She smiles instead, avoiding Sam’s eyes as she stares down at her drink. Sam chuckles softly and Alex’s heart skips a beat.
“I’m glad I listened to her, then.”
“Yeah,” Alex concedes, relieved. “I am too.”
Alex takes a long sip, allowing the whiskey to warm her throat.
“Am I allowed to miss you?” Sam finally asks, her fingers tracing patterns along the hay next to her hip. She keeps her eyes noticeably off Alex. “I know we never really talked about it. What, with me moonlighting as a Kryptonian bioweapon--” Sam grins, but her eyes still hold the weight of everything she’s been through. “There was just never a good time. But there’s something real here, isn’t there? I mean, Ruby just adores you. And I am pretty sure that feeling is mutual.”
“She’s a great kid,” Alex agrees. It’s all she can say confidently without completely falling apart, even though it lands so short of what she means. She wants Sam to know she’s done a magnificent job raising a child on her own. She wishes she could tell her just how much Ruby has come to mean to her, too, and that she would never have let anything happen to her, even if Sam couldn’t bring herself to ask.
More than that, though, she wants to say how much Sam means to her, and how living without her is more unbearable than she ever could have imagined.
“You protected her with everything you had,” Sam says earnestly. “I will never, ever forget that. I’m just sorry I left before we had a chance to figure anything else out.”
“Well, I don’t blame you. The L-Corp opportunity is amazing, and Ruby is doing great. You had to go.”
Sam nods solemnly. She shrugs as she takes another sip from her drink. She winces slightly as she swallows.
“Yes, by the way,” Alex breaks the silence. Sam looks at her with a confused expression. “You are allowed to miss me. As long as you’re okay with me missing you, too.”
Sam smiles slowly. Alex is so distracted by her face that it takes a few seconds to register Sam’s fingers interlocking with her own. They both glance down with nervous smiles.
“It doesn’t make much sense, does it?” Sam asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Does it have to?”
“No,” Sam shakes her head. “Not at all.”
Alex allows herself to feel the warmth of Sam’s hand in her own, the silent confirmation that this isn’t all just made up. Everything she feels for Sam is real, and Sam is finally next to her, acknowledging it, too. It’s all she can do to just sit there and keep her cool. Inside, she’s practically exploding.
“So, do you ever get out to Metropolis?” Sam asks, the playful tone returning to her voice.
“Oh, I haven’t had much time for ...any of that,” Alex says, doing her best to stay nonchalant. She flutters her free hand away from her for emphasis. “Work and all.”
“That’s right, you’re a big director now,” Sam nods. “Congratulations,” she adds softly, nudging into her shoulder gently. “You more than deserve it.”
Alex laughs and tries to shrug off the compliment, but Sam’s determined stare stops her. Her dark brown eyes are deep and all-consuming, and Alex tries to speak but finds herself incapable. Sam shakes her head.
“I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I stayed,” she says, the regret laced throughout her words.
“Well, you’re back now, for a little while,” Alex tries, angling herself closer to Sam. She tries to move slowly, feeling the warmth radiating from Sam’s body as she leans in. “That’s a pretty good start.”
Sam easily nestles in closer to Alex, her thumb rubbing small circles along Alex’s hand. She glances up into Alex’s eyes briefly, before her gaze fixes on Alex’s lips. She glances up one more time, as if silently asking for permission. Alex doesn’t want to waste time thinking. Her heart is practically bursting through her chest, and in order to make everything slow down, she closes her eyes and leans in.
Sam’s lips are full and soft, meeting hers with just the right amount of force. Sam kisses her gently, then more insistently, pulling her hand from Alex’s and wrapping her arms around her neck. Alex’s brain goes completely silent, thinking about nothing except the warmth of Sam’s body and the way her tongue slips easily along her lips.
“Definitely a good start,” Alex whispers when they finally pull apart, her eyes barely fluttering open as Sam sits there with a smug expression on her face.
“Oh yeah?”
Sam leans back in and Alex isn’t about to stop her. Probably ever, if she’s being honest. She thinks if she can live every day kissing Sam Arias, that would be enough. Her mind is still buzzing when they pull apart for the second time. She glances at Sam’s face, her cheeks flushed with heat, and Alex smiles.
“Now that you mention it, I’m sure I’ll have to check in on the Northeast branch of the DEO from time to time,” Alex says, nodding to herself.
“Interesting.”
They sit there, foreheads touching for several quiet minutes before the sound of footsteps approaching shake them apart. Kara clears her throat tentatively as Ruby holds up a pumpkin.
“It’s perfect!” Sam exclaims, still sitting practically on top of Alex. Her hands stay fixed on Alex’s leg.
“A toast!” Kara abruptly declares, smiling triumphantly. She lifts a cup of cider and hands the other one in her hand to Ruby.
“What are we toasting?” Ruby asks, frowning at her cup as she places the pumpkin on the ground.
“To sweater weather,” Sam says easily, her free hand sneaking into the pocket of her sweatshirt which is now dangerously close to Alex’s stomach. She raises her glass. “And new beginnings.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Alex says, their eyes meeting over their cups in the same way they did all those months before. “To new beginnings.”