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“Okay, let me sum this up,” Stephanie said, folding up a shirt and stuffing it into her dresser. The 17 year old turned to Sportacus, who sat on her bed matching up socks. He looked up at her miserably. The two had been talking for the past hour or so, ever since Stephanie had stepped off the bus. One look at Sportacus and Stephanie had grabbed his arm and demanded he help her unpack.
Now here they were. It wasn’t how Stephanie had imagined starting off her winder holiday but Sportacus looked so out of it that she could hardly do anything else.
“So you told Robbie how you felt last July,” she said, stressing the date. Sportacus’ cheeks flushed but he nodded. “He said he would need time to think. Then he didn’t say anything about it for months.” Another nod. “You brought it up around Christmas and he still wasn’t sure. But in February he asked if you two could be Valentines.” Stephanie grabbed the pair he handed her. “What happened on Valentine’s Day?”
“I sent him flowers. I had been called home that week so I did not actually see him. But he said he loved the flowers.” A wide smile lit Sportacus’ face. The first genuine one Stephanie had seen on him so far. “He said no one ever sends him flowers. And when I saw him the next day he was blushing. Robbie never blushes.”
Stephanie took a hanger from the closet and hung up a few jackets. “And after that?”
“He… never brought it up again.” Sportacus ran a hand down his face, shoulders lifting jerkily only to sag down again. Stephanie almost wanted to stop asking questions but clearly this had been weighing on Sportacus’ mind for some time. He needed to get this out and she wanted to get all the facts so she could help him for once.
Stephanie cleared her throat. “And you haven’t talked about your relationship since?”
“No…”
“I hate to say it Sportacus but… it sounds like a no.”
Sportacus nodded. For a moment, Stephanie felt like a doctor telling a patient there was nothing they could do. Dropping the last hanger, Stephanie sat on the bed next to Sportacus and pressed their shoulders together. Sportacus was fiddling with a scarf in his hands, his eyes glued to its pink stripes.
When he spoke, his voice was strained. Like he was holding something in. “I tried to give up on hope. I really did, after a year. I would have… I would have liked an answer. Even a no. Just so I would not have to wonder.”
Stephanie slowly pulled the scarf away and replaced it with her hand. “When Pixel confessed to me, it took a few days before I could figure out how to say no.” She squeezed his hand when she felt him shaking beside her. “It’s hard to tell someone who’s brave enough to say something like that that you don’t feel the same way. I’m not saying what Robbie did was right. I just mean, I can understand.”
For a moment, she thought Sportacus would make an excuse to leave and bolt from the room. As Stephanie had grown up, she noticed that Sportacus had trouble letting others see him upset. In fact, any extreme emotion that wasn’t excitement or happiness seemed to cause Sportacus to hide away in his ship or go for a run. It had seemed strange to her at the time. Bessie always made it very clear when she was angry. Uncle Milford openly fretted when worried. Even Robbie wasn’t above stomping away from the playground or screaming in fear when a scheme went wrong.
To her surprise, Sportacus not only didn’t leave; he leaned his cheek on her shoulder. She wrapped an arm around him. When had he shrunk? Or had Stephanie just grown?
“Sorry,” he said with a sniff. “This is really stupid. To get this upset. I should have seen this coming.”
“You thinking it’s stupid is what’s stupid,” Stephanie countered. He let out a water chuckle. She was sort of glad she couldn’t see his face— a crying Sportacus was a heartbreaking sight. “I do have to ask though… if it’s been over a year, and you really do think it’s a no, why is it hitting you all of a sudden?”
“I suppose,” Sportacus answered slowly, “it has to do with the holidays. Everyone else in my family has a significant other. A ‘built-in best friend’ I think you once called Stingy when you two got together. Usually being alone does not bother me, you know I’m not the type to go looking for a relationship. But… the fact that there is someone out there who could potentially see me that way and has been giving me mixed signals and no real answer…” Another heavy sigh. “It hurts.”
Stephanie didn’t know how to answer that. So she rubbed her thumb against his shoulder and let him silently cry beside her. Forget seeing his face, hearing Sportacus cry was heartbreaking. Snow fell lazily outside, hitting the window before dissolving into water. Stephanie wondered if Robbie was warm enough in his lair. If he regretted being stuck down their alone under the snow or if he still enjoyed his solitude.
After a few moments she asked quietly, “You really haven’t brought this up since last December?”
A sniff. “No. I do not want to force him to talk about it. He always looks uncomfortable when I do.”
“What if you just ask him to confirm a no?”
Sportacus stiffened. “I… I guess I could. Just go get confirmation.” He didn’t sound too happy about the idea. Stephanie guessed a verbal ‘no’ was more devastating than an implied one.
“If anything,” she pressed, “it would settle the matter. Clear the air between you two. It’s not like you’re going to stop being friends with him, right?”
“Of course not!” Sportacus sprang back and Stephanie got a good look at him. Tears marked his cheeks, his eyes were red, blond hair askew from being half pressed against Stephanie. At the moment he looked scandalized, like when Ziggy had cursed in front of him for the first time. “Just because he does not like me romantically does not mean I’ll love him less!”
Stephanie blinked rapidly. “Love?”
Sportacus stood from the bed. “I should go. You should see the others, and your uncle. I know he has missed you.”
“Sportacus…” He stopped with one hand on the door. Stephanie stood up, resisting the urge hug him from behind. He probably wouldn’t appreciate the invitation to break down again. “Sportacus. Do you love Robbie?”
Hanging at his side, Stephanie saw his other hand clench. “I truly care about Robbie. I miss him when he is not around, I take great joy in making him smile, and I wish to never stop being someone he can count on.” Sportacus slowly turned around. The urge to hug him felt greater; it looked like the only thing holding Sportacus together at the moment was his uniform. “Will that ever turn into love? I guess we will never know.” His half smile make Stephanie’s chest hurt. “Thanks for listening, Stephanie. I am glad you are home.”
Then he left the room.
Stephanie sank to the floor, her back again the bed. She watched the door for a moment before pulling out her phone and dialing a long remembered number. “Stingy? Yeah, it’s me... I know I’m back but— I really wanted to hear your voice and I couldn’t wait to walk over. Can you just, talk at me for a bit? I need to hear another person for a while… Thank you.”