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Ash stood in front of a heavy steel door. It wasn't locked, but from the weight alone it may as well be.
It was all the way back in the furthest halls of the building, where the lights were always out, except for those in the room behind this door, a telltale sign of (still living, he still lived) presence inside.
From the looks of the place, anyone may believe this to be a prison, to protect those outside from an imprisoned threat. It couldn't be more wrong. The person inside was the most protected of the whole facility. The reason Ash even stayed in this suffocating place.
Ash fumbled a little to turn the door's handle with one hand — holding a medicine bottle — and pushing it open with his body. The movement was accompanied by the low metallic screech of the rusty door that, despite how it harshly disrupted the silence, still failed to rouse the boy sleeping inside the room's only bed.
But Ash wasn't surprised. These days it was harder for Eiji to stay awake than it was to remain asleep. A complete opposite of the first days of survival after the pandemic started.
It was easy to believe this room had been a prison once, or maybe just a very oppressive sanatorium. There were no identifying features aside from the steel door and a medium-sized window sealed by metal bars and dirty reinforced glass. As for the furniture, there was only a shelf, a hospital bed, a plain chair and a small table by the bedside, the last two he brought from outside.
As walked towards the table, leaving both the medicine bottle and glass of water he carried over it, and walking towards the shelf. There was no running water inside the facility, but he always made sure to leave a bowl of usable water inside this room, even after Eiji became too weak to make use of it. Ash took the bowl alongside a small towel from the shelf and went back to Eiji's side, moving the chair to sit close to his side and placing the bowl at his feet.
Before he began, Ash put his hand over Eiji's temple and almost immediately took it away. The older boy's skin was burning, as if he was consumed by live flame, and every passing day it grew worse. Ash knew this, and had fully expected the burn, but it still didn't deter from wishful curiosity that Eiji's fever may go down some day, even if just a little bit.
Ash dipped the towel on the water, wringing the excess water out of it, and began to quietly clean Eiji's heated skin with it, hoping the cool water may bring some relief.
He tried to ignore every sign of Eiji's decaying health, as he did every time he lay eyes on him. From the sunken rings under his closed eyes to the unhealthy pallor of his skin, the scars of jagged teeth over his arms (each a memento of Ash's many failures to protect him) that contrasted so starkly over pale skin, and the bluish marks inside his elbows from so many shots of medicine and blood drawing that seemed to have no effect, that Ash had to force himself to remember they did have a purpose every time Eiji allowed another one to pierce his bruised flesh.
He tried so hard to ignore them, to focus on dispelling as much heat as he could from Eiji's body, but signs loomed in his conscience, like one of them lurking at the corner of his eye, ready to lunge and devour them both. Or worse, turn them into their own.
Like they have tried to do to Eiji, like they did, forcing Eiji into an endless battle against becoming yet another mindless monster.
A low whine took Ash out of his spiraling thoughts.
Eiji awoke with a pained sigh, taking several minutes — in which Ash remained quietly alert — just to squint his eyes open, and several more to become aware of his surroundings. Eiji's eyes, that once sparkled brightly, had become a dull, dark brown, whether from the constant pain of staying awake or the virus itself destroying his body. His body, too, trembled in his wakefulness, rattled by the flaring pain coursing through his nerves.
And even still, Eiji found a way to smile so naturally. "...Ash."
"Hey Eiji." Ash replied with a smile of his own, a cheerless thing he practiced everyday just for Eiji. Letting go of the towel, he ran his fingers over sweaty dark locks, earning a pleased hum from the other boy.
"There won't be shots for you today, just pills. Do you want them now?" A nod against his hand. "Okay, let me help you then."
Ash placed a hand against Eiji's back, helping him shift to sit in the bed, stopping only when he felt Eiji wince, but another whine from the older boy pressed him to continue. Once Eiji was upright Ash turned to the table again, taking two pills from the medicine bottle along with the glass of water.
Silently he helped Eiji swallow the pills, and then the water, holding the glass for him carefully as to not make him choke.
"Thanks..." Eiji whispered once they were done. "Day...?"
Ash gave another reflexive smile at that. "Well, let's see..."
They barely conversed anymore, not when even breathing had become such a laborious task for Eiji, but they still spoke. Ash knew Eiji wanted him to speak, about anything really, being asleep for most of the day and waking up surrounded by the same empty room and unable to leave was extremely lonesome.
So Ash spoke of his day, about their latest successful scavenging, about how well Michael had been adjusting despite Max's and Jessica's fears, about Shorter's friends settling, and some of them proving more than eager to make themselves useful, about the doctors' prognostic for a cure taking a hopeful turn.
Ash never spoke of cruel reality. Of Bones finding his family among them, of that kid Sing losing his footing on a catwalk while escaping from them and almost falling to his death, of looting from fresh corpses or being forced to make fresh corpses out of attackers and robbers, of Shorter still not finding Nadia, of the endless fear and dread of finding their friends or family among them, just like Ash had found Griffin.
No. He never spoke about that.
Sometimes, he spoke of the past. Of a time before the pandemic, when there was struggle and fight but still so much easier than today. Of a time after the pandemic, when Eiji was still healthy and they traveled the roads, just the two of them on Ash's old motorcycle. Of a time after the pandemic and after Eiji's infection, when he could still walk and talk freely, and the quiet moments they shared even when surrounded by hellish wasteland.
And even if he couldn't speak, Eiji always tried to respond, to assure Ash he was listening, like now. He lifted one arm with great effort to reach for Ash's own, falling limply just before Ash had a chance to catch it. Rattling the chains that extended from the padded straps on his wrists.
Ash hated the sound so much.
Had it been up to him, he wouldn't have ever allowed it. It was cruelty enough that Eiji had to live with the virus eating at his body and mind, trapped in a room without strength enough to leave anymore. But Eiji woke up screaming one day, crying that he was becoming one of them, that he was going to hurt his friends, that he was going to hurt Ash.
"Ash please, I can't do this anymore! Just kill me please! I don't want to become a monster, I don't want to hurt you!"
He couldn't assure him otherwise, nobody could. Only when one of the doctors had offered Eiji the chains did he calm down, assured that should he ever turn in his monstrous state he wouldn't be able to undo them.
Ash would have shot the man right then and there, were he any less vital to finding Eiji's cure.
He hated the sound of chains so much.
But the heat radiating from Eiji's hands, that made his own skin burn? That he didn't mind.
"We got a lucky break today too. Found a few abandoned trucks inside the city, the trunks were full of meds. Whoever owned them must have left in a hurry, but at least we won't have to worry about med shortages for some time." Ash continued talking, reviewing the words in his mind, censoring the bad and only speaking the good, to not burden Eiji with the knowledge.
He stopped when Eiji's hand tightened just slightly over his own, accompanied by a rasp.
"Ash... Sleep...? I'm..."
Ash couldn't understand the rest, lost in a hazy mumble, but he knew what Eiji meant. He'd been awake for over half an hour now, a bit more than his body allowed anymore.
Ash shrugged off his own sweaty shirt, and carefully climbed into the bed. He helped Eiji shift to the side as gently and carefully as he could, moving the chains so they were out of the way, settling Eiji's head over his chest and winding his own arms against the older boy's burning body. Eiji had told him once that he liked falling asleep to Ash's heartbeat, that it comforted him to remember Ash was still alive and waiting for him in the waking world.
And he continued talking about happy nothings, and Eiji replied as he could with low hums, sighs and light squeezes of his hand, until he stopped replying and his trembling subsided.
Ash knew he had just fallen asleep, but still couldn't help himself. He pressed two fingers against Eiji's neck until he found a faint pulse, and only then he allowed himself to relax.
It was better like this. Eiji needed all the rest he could get until the cure was made, so he could endure longer. Until that day came Ash too would need all the strength he could muster to protect Eiji and keep him safe.
And if that day never came...
It wouldn't matter.
Whatever may come, he wouldn't leave Eiji's side.
No matter what.