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So, an archangel, Satan, and a twice-dead half-Winchester walk into a bunker. Yep. Three months after the fact and it still sounded like the start of a bad joke to Sam. Of course, the initial reaction had been a hearty 'Hell no, you can't stay here' to the archangels, but Adam had repeatedly vouched for them, saying they were somehow 'reformed' and he was family, so they had, very grudgingly, let them stay.
Matters were only made worse when, a week later, a very different-and more obnoxious- archangel showed up at their door, claiming to have let the others out. Dean had made a comment about how they weren't some kind of animal shelter, and that they weren't gonna take in any more stray angels, but after Michael and Lucifer made it clear that their little brother would stay or they would redecorate with Dean's intestines, he had a sudden and drastic change of heart.
So that was how the Men of Letters' bunker came to house three human brothers, three archangels, and a trench coated angel who seemed rather intimidated by his older brothers' presence. Things had been rather awkward at first, no one wanting to trust anyone else, but eventually, Sam extended a metaphorical olive branch to Gabriel, who then proceeded to use it to roast metaphorical marshmallows. After that, it was only a matter of time before everyone else caved and the twisted Mexican standoff ended.
That wasn't to say that they all got along- not by a long shot. Gabriel played pranks on anyone he could and occasionally got dished back what he served by Lucifer, which inevitably led to prank wars that almost always nearly destroyed the entire concrete structure. Sam and Dean were still a bit leery around Adam because they felt guilty for leaving him in Hell when Dean had all but gone to the ends of the Earth to get Sam a 'get out of jail free' card. Michael and Lucifer often got into heated arguments that developed into blows on more than one occasion, usually resulting in someone getting thrown through a wall and Gabriel begging them to stop.
Then there were the... decent days. No one really wanted to call them good since no one- save perhaps the youngest archangel- was really happy about all of them living together. But there were decent days. Days when the worst arguments were about Lucifer taking too long in the shower because he liked how hot the water was and he hadn't actually felt warm in so long. Days when Dean and Gabriel would agree that the other angels' movie knowledge was extremely lacking, so they'd all get together, squeezing onto one couch, and watch whatever it was that seemed appealing.
More often than not, those nights ended with Castiel perched on one arm of the couch, looking to Dean every now and then to see what the proper reaction to each scene was. The hunter would be sitting on the end, squished between Castiel's perch and his own moose of a brother, and invariably complaining about how Gabriel was hogging the popcorn. The Trickster, as always, would just laugh from where he was curled up between Sam and Lucifer, effectively snuggling into both of them, and move the popcorn bowl over his crotch so he could waggle his brows suggestively at Sam each time the human reached for a handful. On the other side of Lucifer was Michael's spot, typically with a lapful of Adam because there was never enough room and Adam would simply plop down on top of the archangel before Michael could offer to move and sit on the floor.
It was weirdly domestic- or, as domestic as life with any of them could be expected to be, really. Lucifer even took up gardening. When Dean had teased him for it, the Devil had simply smacked him with a bundle of fresh-cut roses. Dean didn't make fun of the garden anymore.
It just so happened that one day, as Lucifer was about to smite a rabbit that had been ravaging and terrorizing his poor, precious plants, Michael came out looking for him for some reason or another. When he saw what his brother was doing, however, he rushed over and scooped up the little thing, stroking its back gently. "Lucifer!" the eldest of the angels exclaimed, scowling at his little brother. "What were you doing? What were you thinking?"
At that- and the sight of Michael, Sword of God, Viceroy of Heaven, petting a bunny- Lucifer couldn't help but scoff. "It was destroying my garden!" he protested, glaring at the stupid rodent that his brother was siding with over him. When he saw the thoughtful look Michael was giving the rabbit, though, he shook his head vehemently. "Oh, no. We are not keeping that thing!"
"Why not?" Michael whi- no, sorry, Michael does not 'whine'- protested, holding the little creature closer to his chest as if to protect it from his younger brother's impending wrath. "Look at him, Lucifer! Please?"
Lucifer just stared at his brother flatly before going inside and shouting at the top of his lungs- well, human lungs, since he didn't bring any of his true voice into it- "Sam! Dean! Michael wants to keep vermin in the house!" This, naturally, caused everyone to come running, including a swearing Dean. It only took a look at Michael, who had followed Lucifer inside, to understand what he meant.
"Oh Hell no," Dean stated instantly, which just made Michael pout- yes, pout- and gravitate towards Adam, as he was wont to do. Everyone knew the archangel was whipped. "You are not keeping a rabbit, dammit!"
Adam started to counter this for Michael, but for once, the archangel wasn't content with just letting the human do the talking for him. "I have a flaming sword made of pure, unbridled energy," he began coolly, still rhythmically petting the bunny as his voice remained level and calm. "And I will gut you with it. I'm keeping the rabbit."
No one could come up with a decent counterargument to that.
It was actually Gabriel who broke the awkward silence, but he was as good at that as he was at creating them, really. "Well, if Mikey gets a bunny, I want a platypus!" he demanded childishly, looking up at Sam for back-up on his strange request.
"You want a- Gabe, we're not getting a platypus," the mountain of a human replied in his ever-logical voice, trying to figure out what to even say to that. When he saw that what he'd said had made the tiny archangel deflate, he hurried to add on "I mean, we don't even know where to get one," in hopes that it would help to keep him from having to deal with a moody Trickster.
"Australia!" Gabriel chirped instantly, a plan already forming. "Me 'nd Cassy'll go get it!" With that, he lunged and grabbed his little brother's shoulder, and the two disappeared with a flap of wings.
Thoroughly baffled by this sudden turn of events, Sam turned back to where his brother was still ranting at Michael, who didn't seem to care. "Does anyone else have some random-ass pet they want to get? We seem to be on a roll here!" He bit out, at which Lucifer raised a hand.
"I've always wanted a velociraptor-"
"No!" Dean exclaimed in exasperation, taking off for his own room. Michael and Adam took that as their cue to leave as well, drifting off somewhere to fawn over their bunny. This left Sam scratching the back of his head awkwardly in a room with the Devil, who was looking at him hopefully and opening his mouth to speak.
"So, about that velociraptor...."