Chapter Text
Thomas bolts down the walk and up the stairs, skipping steps. In his hurry, he doesn't remember to knock. He barges into the room, on his mind the look of concern on the messenger's face. Miss Lister is startled from her desk exclaiming aloud in shock but before she can ask the reason for his sudden intrusion he shoves the letter into her hand, in between pants, "M-my apologies ma’am, t-the messenger said it w-was to be brought up immediately a-as it was urgent”.
Miss Lister flips over the note to see who it is from. He watches her face blanch even before opening the letter when she sees the letter is from Marian. Thomas shuffles nervously as Miss Lister raises a hand motioning to dismiss him, “Thomas, leave me…”. He nods, turns on his heel and the last thing he sees before closing the door is Miss Lister, note in hand, fingers pressed to her brow, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed.
------
Anne releases a trembling breath as she reads the account from Marian. It details a letter from Ann's sister about an incident that occurred a few days prior. In the letter from Elizabeth, she urges that Anne come quickly as she is quite concerned with her sister's health following the ‘incident'.
Anne can feel the panic rising in her, face flushing, body going cold. “Control”, she thinks to herself. Her hand tremors as her mind races, forming scenarios of what has happened to her Ann.
“CONTROL” her mind shouts at her. She takes some stabilizing breaths, straightening her waistcoat, and pocketing the letter.
Anne shouts for Eugenie and Thomas to pack and ready the carriage, they are heading home.
A short time later, they are on the road en route to the ship that will get them home and on to Scotland.
------
Rocking, endless rocking; Anne can feel her insides clench at each lurch of the ship. They had been inundated since they left port, Anne never got the time to establish her ‘sea legs’.
The bucket next to her sloshed precariously with each movement, the sight, and smell making her more nauseous. Thoroughly miserable, Anne rolled in her cot and pulled her coat tight around herself. Anne closed her eyes and immediately Ann's beaming smile flashed before her eyes.
She felt and heard a whimper escape her lips.
"Pathetic," She thought, "like a simpering child"
The thought, however, didn’t quell the onslaught of tears that began to steadily stream down the side of her face.
She buried her head further into her blankets stifling a sob.
Fear overwhelmed her not assisted by Elizabeth’s letter being maddeningly vague.
In the private of her sleeping quarters, her mind ran rampant with ideas on what fate has befallen her Ann.
Sick?
Injured?
Dying?
Dead already?
Anne hugged her pillow to her chest, inconsolable.
Anne squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as possible and prayed.
For Ann.
For a speedy trip across the sea.
For her Ann to be in her arms again.
She repeated her prayer as a mantra lulling her to sleep thinking of the woman she… … … ? “hush, sleep now”
------
Anne didn’t leave her quarters for days. Only scarcely leaving her cot to relieve herself.
She remained wrapped in her coat, nose in her diary, reminiscing on treasured memories of Ann; hoping for the best but, fearing the worst.
------
Upon entry into port Anne, Thomas, and Eugenie stumbled off the ship, adjusting to being back on solid ground.
Anne checked her pocket watch, ordered them to collect their things, and meet her at the inn where they would spend the night and then be off at dawn.
She brushed back her loose hair and set off toward the inn looking forward to hopefully getting some sleep without the constant sensation of rocking.
Unfortunately for her, the sensation didn’t leave her even once on land and settled in bed. The memory of rocking kept her awake throughout the night and continuously stewing about things she had no control of.
She lay, alternating staring at the ceiling, fiddling with her pocket watch, and squeezing her eyes shut filling her mind with images of Ann. She remained this way until birds began their morning chorus and the sun began to filter through the trees.
Upon hearing the bustle of the inn waking up for the day she readied herself and made her way to the carriage.
------
Hours of jostling in a carriage, listening to Thomas and Eugenie bicker had set her teeth on edge.
She spent the duration of the carriage ride reading entries from her first days seducing Ann
“Remember the good times” she told herself.
Luckily, the ride from the port to Shibden was shorter than that awful trek across the sea and far less treacherous.
No sooner than Anne had been absorbed into reading entries she was roused by the carriage rattling to a halt.
Before waiting for Thomas, she gathered her things, threw open the door and leaped out onto the cobblestone, nearly taking the poor footman out.
Anne briskly made her way inside yelling to Eugenie to grab some supplies for another long carriage ride and be ready in an hour.
------
Anne quickly made her way upstairs to her check-in with her Aunt and relay her plan for heading to Scotland. She then made her way downstairs to grab a bite to eat before they head on their way.
Cordingley’s face fell as Anne entered the room. Her reaction startled Anne, and she bitterly snapped, “What is it?”
Cordingley shuffled awkwardly, frowning, “You don’t look well ma’am, I’m concerned is all.”
Anne sighs burying her face in her hands as she thumped onto the seat nearest the hearth.
Cordingley inched closer, cautious, “Ma’am?”
A sob wracked Anne’s shoulders and immediately Cordingley’s hand grasped her shoulder and held her tightly against her. Anne melted into her side allowing herself to briefly fall to pieces before Cordingley pushed Anne up, briskly rubbed her arms, wiped her tears and moved toward the cupboards, “Let’s get you fed…”
Anne nodded and wiped at her nose, taking a steadying breath.
Cordingley quickly put together a plate of bread & cheese with some ale to wash it down.
Anne scarfed it down, not processing the hunger that was making her stomach ache until she had eaten more than her fill.
Cordingley smiled a little at Anne’s appetite cleared her dishes, and as she left the room to finish up her afternoon chores, briefly rested a comforting hand on Anne’s shoulder.
Anne rose and made her way to the hall to reunite with Eugenie and Thomas.
------
All loaded into the carriage and with a crack of the horsewhip they were off.
The rocking of the carriage quickly rocked Anne to sleep allowing her to pass some of the ride to Scotland in moderate peace.
Some hours later Anne awoke in cold darkness.
She draped a wool blanket over her lap, lit her lamp, checked the time, and cracked open her journal to recount the journey thus far.
Her mind drifted to Ann constantly distracting her thoughts from accurately accounting her travels.
Paris was lovely.
Ann would have loved the dresses.
The ship ride was cold and miserable.
Ann could have kept me warm and happy.
The carriage ride was boring and slow.
Ann could have kept me entertained
Thoughts of her fingers under Ann's petticoats pulled her from her mind. Anne shook her head to clear her thoughts.
Soon, Ann, I will be with you soon.