Chapter Text
Gwilym Lee is beyond grateful to have someone like Brian May as a part of his life. He cannot readily comprehend the fact that they know one another so well now, holy cow--not to mention the fact they have aspects of their lives that are similar, if not the same-- coming from a family of doctors who do not quite understand the draw of acting or of art as a career, he relates to Brian's similar, though much more extreme, experience with his own father. Gwil has not found a way to broach that particular subject as of yet, but feels as though there is something he should say.
He gets the chance one night when the two of them go out to supper after both are in the same area to perform interviews. Brian needs to decompress--after all these years, he still grows irked by interviews--and Gwil suggests going to eat at a quiet little place together. He is incredibly happy when Brian instantly agrees.
They order food and drinks, and the conversation turns to holidays and families and finding home. Gwil comments on a question he had answered about finding home, knowing where that is; knowing who you are, and grounding yourself in that knowledge. He asks what Brian thinks about that, and the Queen guitarist says that he has always felt a draw towards home, felt it to be a necessary component and aspect of his life. "But, after everything that happened with me dad, which you've learned about," he bows his head in acknowledgement of Gwil's research and his own experiences "and can understand, I think, it's been a struggle to remind myself of who I am. To really centre myself in and locate my home." Brian breathes and inquires "Have you… have you ever struggled with that?"
Gwil swallows and chews a bite of food. What a question that is. "Yes, I have," he returns. "And it's, it can be hard, but I know my family, even if they don't understand what I do, they still care about me. That allows me to come home. Even if this life, it's not what they wanted for me, they're still glad I'm doing so well. And I think--" he looks into Brian's face "I really hope your dad was proud of you. I'm sure he saw you do well, and...it surely made him happy."
Brian tries to say something back to Gwil, smiling, but he cannot form words. Tears fill his eyes and spill onto his craggy cheeks as he keeps smiling thankfully, and Gwil clears his throat and lets out a little hiccough as he wipes his own eyes on his jumper sleeve. And then, looking up at Brian, he slides across the bench they are both sitting on to wrap his arms around the older man, pressing himself against Brian's chest almost like a child would do. Brian reaches out and wraps his arms around Gwil as well, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "It means a lot that you'd say that, Gwilym," he murmurs into the younger man's dark hair. "...Thank you."
Gwil nods against Bri's chest and his hair tickles the other's chin. "You're welcome," he says, and then his arms tighten as Brian lets out a quiet noise and starts shaking against him. Gwil turns his head, holding close, rubbing Brian's back. "What--are you alright, Brian?"
Brian hauls in a shaky breath between his teeth, eyes tightly closed as he holds onto Gwil. "I am, please don't worry yourself," he says, but when Gwil keeps hanging on to him, listening, the guitarist adds "...I just wish I had talked to him. That he had told me. That we'd shared...so many things. So many more things. But we can't. He's gone. And so is Freddie, and I--" sucking back more tears and swallowing, Brian's voice grows incredibly small: "it's hard, Gwil. It's still so hard for me."
Gwil keeps hanging on, whispering "Brian, I'm so sorry. You're--you are so strong, and kind, and good. You've been such a help to me, such a good friend, and a strong support. And I want you to know I can do that for you. I want to. If you--if you need." He rubs Brian's back in a circle, leaning away to look in the older man's face, tears leaking out of his own eyes and sliding down his cheeks. "I mean it, Brian. I wish you didn't have to feel as you do even now, but I'm beyond grateful that you can talk to me, and I'm... happy to help if I can. To listen. I--know it isn't the same at all, but--" his words cut off as Brian pulls him sharply in again, squeezing tight.
"It's the loveliest gesture, Gwil," Brian returns. "Truly, it means so very much. And Gwil, you're lovely. You're so wonderful, truly. I am..." Brian clears his throat as he moves back a bit to put a now steady hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Never think you are lesser in wanting to help me by not being my father or Freddie. You are extraordinary, Gwilym Lee." He squeezes Gwil's shoulder and his eyes are open and warm and clear, not so haunted or broken as they'd seemed mere moments ago. "I'm so, so proud of you." Cupping Gwil's cheek in his hand, eyes full of affection, Brian adds "I love you, dear boy."
Gwil closes his eyes and leans into Brian's touch before replying as his heart swells "I love you too."