Actions

Work Header

If At First You Don't Succeed

Summary:

Cary's dreams are different now that he's the one who lives inside of Kerry.

For Legion Week Day 2: Shock! (A moment that made your jaw drop) - I chose Kerry and Cary getting swapped in Chapter 10.

Notes:

Thank to mossomness for betaing and Peachie5000 for running the event!

Work Text:

Cary's dreams are different now that he's the one who lives inside of Kerry.

And of course they are. His life-- Their life has changed so much since they were changed. He can spend hours every day watching the world through her eyes, comfortable inside her, and Kerry's choices for their life are-- Much different than his own.

Kerry has little interest in being holed up in a dimly lit laboratory for most of the day, squinting at computers. She's a physical person, eager for action and stimulation now that she's adapted to the outside world. Cary was always limited by his own fear, but Kerry wants to try everything. She wants to be with people who want to try everything.

People like Lenny Busker.

Cary does not care for Lenny. She's intolerably crude, a drug addict with a stolen body and a predilection towards unnecessary violence. He and Kerry have had the worst arguments of their life over her, and still Kerry refuses to see sense. Cary simply doesn't understand it.

He certainly doesn't understand why he's dreaming about Lenny again, or why-- He's dreaming about kissing her again. He never kissed anyone, not after he kissed Betsy Plainfield and upset Kerry so much she jumped right out of their body and nearly frightened poor Betsy to death. From that moment on, Cary swore off the entire business of romance, which was clearly impossible anyway when he had a little girl living inside him.

In the dream, he feels young again, as young as Kerry is now. He feels fit and strong and Lenny feels lovely against him, kissing him and touching him all over. They're naked and he touches her breasts, nuzzles them and tastes them. She smiles and starts guiding him down her body, past her belly and down between--

And then Cary startles right out of Kerry's body and Lenny yelps and shoves him off the bed.

"Ow," Cary whines, bruised and quite shocked. And then he realizes what just happened and he turns completely, absolutely red. He covers his eyes. "Oh, I'm-- I'm so sorry, I'm--"

"Cary," Kerry starts.

Cary peeks through his fingers and sees Kerry and Lenny naked together in Lenny's bed, and he turns and rushes out of the room. He stops in the hall, heart racing, body still-- Suffering the effects of the dream.

After a minute, Kerry comes out. She's wearing Lenny's shirt.

"Sorry," Kerry starts, awkward. "Um. I didn't wanna wake you."

"Well you did," Cary says. He finally realizes it's the middle of the night. "I don't believe it. How could you just-- Have sex with her while I'm inside you?"

"We only do it when you’re asleep," Kerry defends. "And anyway-- We wouldn't have to sneak around if you weren't being such a jerk about her."

Cary stares at her. "How long has this been going on?"

Kerry turns away, then turns back to him with a stubborn expression. "A while."

Suddenly all the weird dreams he's been having make sense. "Kerry--"

"Don't," Kerry warns. "Look, maybe-- Maybe we should be apart for tonight."

Cary huffs. "Kerry, we need to talk about this."

"No, we don't," Kerry says, and then marches back to Lenny's room and slams the door behind her.

Cary stares after her, at a loss.

He goes back to his and Kerry's room but stops in the doorway. It's her room now, much more than his. He doesn't even know when that happened, the change. Just like he doesn't know when it started to feel more natural to be inside of Kerry than outside of her. He feels terrible without her now.

He grabs a pillow and a blanket and goes to sleep on the sofa in his office. At least he still has his work, or whatever he can get done in the limited hours he has each day. There's so much he wants do, but time runs short and the need to reunite with Kerry is so strong. He never understood why she stayed inside him so much, but now he understands too well.

He tries to sleep, and then it's the morning.

Kerry and Lenny come down together. Perhaps it should make him feel better to see that Kerry had as difficult a night as he did, but it doesn't.

"Kerry," Cary starts, taking the burden of speaking first.

But Kerry has other ideas.

"Me and Lenny are together now," Kerry says, firmly. "We shouldn't have snuck around so now we won't. If you can't deal with it--"

"Kerry," Cary says again, strained.

"We love each other, okay?" Kerry says, almost shouts. "Just because you never loved anybody that doesn't mean I can't!"

That hits Cary exactly where it hurts. "Do you think I wanted to be alone?" he asks her. "I couldn't be with anyone, not when-- I had to take care of you."

"So it's my fault?" Kerry asks, upset.

"That's not--" Cary starts, frustrated. "You were a child. It was my responsibility to protect you."

"Well I'm not a kid anymore and neither are you," Kerry says. "It's my life and I'm not gonna let you ruin it."

"Kerry!" Cary cries, wounded.

Kerry storms out of the house. To Cary's surprise, Lenny stays behind.

Cary sighs, bracing himself for a lecture. From Lenny of all people!

Lenny does not lecture him. She flops down on the sofa and gives him an assessing look.

Cary raises his eyebrows at her.

"You don't like me," Lenny finally says, casually.

"Not especially," Cary admits.

Lenny gestures at the space beside her, and Cary sits down.

"It's a crazy situation," Lenny admits. "Most of my life's been pretty fucking crazy. But I dunno. Somehow-- Kerry's like-- Just the right amount of crazy. And I make her happy. We've got a good thing with just one big problem."

"Me," Cary sighs.

"Got it in one," Lenny says. "You're not her dad."

"No," Cary agrees. "But I raised her. All my life. She grew up-- So slowly."

"And now she's real-time," Lenny says.

Cary nods. "Oliver thought we were twins, but-- We don't really know what we are. Except-- Two minds in one body." He sighs. "We share our life. We always have. I always did my best to-- Make our life good for Kerry. But now--" He can't finish.

"She's not returning the favor," Lenny realizes.

"Kerry does her best, too," Cary defends. "I suppose, in hindsight-- I should have done more for her. Treated her as an equal instead of-- A dependent. I do want her to be happy, to thrive. That's all I've ever wanted."

"And you're gonna-- What?" Lenny challenges. "Just wither away?"

"She doesn't need me," Cary says, admittedly petulant.

"Oh please," Lenny says. "You know what we do at night?"

"I don't think I want to know," Cary says.

Lenny gives him a look. "She talks to me about you. She's worried about you but she doesn't know what to do because you've always been Mister I Take Care Of Everything."

It shouldn't make him feel better, the thought of Kerry worrying over him, but it does.

"So you're jealous?" Lenny asks.

"No," Cary protests. "Not exactly. I just--" He shakes his head. "Seeing her thrive-- Made me realize-- I didn't. That I-- Missed whatever chance I had and now--" Sadness tightens his throat.

"You're still here," Lenny reminds him.

"How could I possibly be with anyone when I'm inside of Kerry most of the time?" Cary asks. "I barely have enough time to work."

"So screw work," Lenny says. "Retire. Use your hours for what you really want."

Cary blinks. "Retire?"

"You're such a workaholic," Lenny says. "Look, me and Kerry need some alone time, right? And so do you. You go live it up, responsibility-free, then come home to us. Then nobody needs to sneak around and everybody's happy."

Cary gives her a skeptical look. "You want me-- To be more like you?"

"Works for me," Lenny says. "You wanna fix what you did wrong before? Give both of you some space."

It's not terrible advice. Cary can hardly believe something remotely sensible could come from Lenny, and yet-- "I wouldn't know where to start."

"That's the point," Lenny says. "You like learning shit, right? So go learn. Go to a bar and flirt with--" She trails off. "You like girls or boys?"

Cary thinks of his rather painful crush on Oliver. But there was Betsy Plainfield-- "I'm not sure."

"Even better," Lenny declares. "C'mon, how much fun is it gonna be to figure that out?"

That does feel-- Rather exciting. "I'm not too old?"

"Oh please," Lenny says, waving it off. "Old people are horny as fuck."

"Oh," Cary says, mildly alarmed by that declaration. Then he gives Lenny a considering look. "You're much wiser than I expected."

"You don't survive what I did without learning some shit," Lenny says. "Look, I'm gonna go find Kerry and smooth things over. Do you two need to--" She brings her hands together.

"Yes," Cary admits.

"Okay," Lenny says. "I'll bring Kerry back, you tell her how you're gonna live your dreams. We’ll work out the rest later."

"Thank you, Lenny," Cary says, genuinely. "You know-- One of the reasons that-- I never-- I didn't think anyone would-- Accept us. Kerry and I. But-- You do?"

Lenny considers the question. "Yeah," she says, certain.

Cary's heart warms. "That gives me-- Quite a lot of hope."

"See, that's the smile Kerry's been missing," Lenny says, pleased. "Hold on to that for her, okay?" And she gets up and heads out to find Kerry.

"Live my dreams," Cary murmurs to himself, wondering. For their whole life he tried to dream for both of them, but perhaps-- That meant not truly dreaming at all. And now-- Kerry has new dreams all for herself.

Cary's ready to find his own dreams, too.

Series this work belongs to: