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A quiet grumble filled the underground laboratory as Zim worked away at repairing his computer monitors that had malfunctioned while he was working. He didn’t know why—it certainly wasn’t of his own fault, or maybe it was and he chose to deny it, but his best guess is that Gir probably spilled some kind of disgusting human beverage on top of it while playing and didn’t tell him, or something along the lines. Gir was entirely predictable, yet at the same time, scarily unpredictable.
The Irken looked to his pile of tools he had carelessly laid out, digging for a certain tool but it appeared that it had been misplaced somewhere or he mistakenly forgot to grab it. Great. Now he’d have to get up and delay his work just because of his slight foolishness.
Having a better idea, he grabbed his radio from his PAK, clicking the device on to reach to his robotic servant. “Gir!” he spoke into the audio device, hearing a click on the other end as said robot responded. Or, he responded, just not...verbally. He was listening, however. What confirmed this was the distant sound that Zim could hear of whatever childish program was playing on the television from Gir’s end of the transmission.
Deciding to ignore the strange behavior, Zim continued. “Gir! I need you to bring me a tool that I can use to open up the structure of my computer and evaluate the insides.” Silence. Becoming slightly frustrated with his robot’s behavior, he growled. “Gir! I know you can hear me! Are you even listening to me? Bring me that tool and come down here, now!”
Zim stayed on the transmission for a moment longer, waiting for anything from the robot, until he heard Gir’s end make an audible click, noting that he had ended his side of the call. Frowning, Zim ended his as well, letting the radio device retract back into his PAK. Maybe something had affected Gir’s voice box—he’d have to check once he was finished here. There was no telling what was wrong when it came to the mischievous robot.
Seconds turned into minutes until it became an unreasonable amount of time for Gir to be late. It really should have only been seconds until he had arrived, but Zim gave him the grace period under the assumption of perhaps he just needed to find the proper tool first. Then, five minutes turned into ten, and the alien was losing his patience. In a childish fit, he threw his hands up in the air and marched over to one of his transportation devices, grumbling to himself as the machine began to take him up from the laboratory and into the main part of his base, or what foolish outsiders would call his ‘home’.
Stepping into the floor, the first thing his large, red eyes caught sight of was his robotic servant, lazily laying on the couch, his blue eyes glued on the tv screen but his mind seemed distant, as if he were thinking about something. However, Zim was convinced that the defunct unit truly did not have the capacity to even have comprehensive and advanced thoughts. Crossing his arms, the Irken stepped in front of the robot to block his view of the television and stared at him, expecting something out of the childish robot but nothing came. He didn’t seem affected at all.
“Gir! What is wrong with you? Zim has asked for your assistance an eternity ago!” the alien bit out, speaking through clenched fangs. It had really been only ten minutes, but waiting for the robot to obey could be a painstakingly, annoying process that just felt like it’d take too long.
“I’m sorry, master,” Gir gave him a muttered response, but that was it. It didn’t even really seem genuine. Something was obviously occupying whatever thought-processing-space he had in his wiring.
“You don’t act sorry,” Zim huffed immaturely in response, beginning to feel somewhat strange. He was beginning to realize that something was wrong, he just wasn’t sure what. This just didn’t seem normal. Sarcastically, he snarked, “Something is troubling the Gir. Did your favorite, dumb program not play today?”
“No, it played...” Gir responded after a short moment, his robotic voice rather absent. He only met Zim’s eyes once before he turned back to the TV screen, seemingly preoccupied once again.
“Whatever you’re upset about, there is no reason to not listen to my orders,” Zim growled at him, giving up. “I’ll simply get the tool myself.” With that, the Irken stormed off, antennae twitching at the sound of the robot sliding off the couch, followed by the mechanical whirring as the servant followed the alien. Shaking his head, Zim ignored it and set off to find the tool. Once he retrieved it, he headed back down to the lab, still being followed by Gir.
Zim didn’t acknowledge his servant behind him as he set back to working on his computer. He could sense the presence behind him, though, just idly standing without saying or doing anything. It was unsettling, to say the least, and began to make the alien feel uneasy.
Becoming frustrated, he found he simply could not work with the robot like this. “Gir!” he began, growling as he set aside his work once again. Standing up, he stalked over towards the robot. Gir didn’t meet his gaze. “What is the matter with you? Have you gotten something stuck in your wires? Why are you acting like this?”
“I’m okay,” Gir offered.
“I can quite obviously tell you’re not,” Zim frowned, knocking a fist on the top of Gir’s head. It sounded hollow, so it seemed there was nothing stuck in there. While relieving, it also somewhat shocked him. Usually he would store away some silly object or disgusting food in there, but there was nothing. With a frown, Zim knelt down on one knee in front of Gir. “Be still.” He opened up the robot’s frame, checking the wires inside.
Everything was intact. No short circuits, no intrusive objects stuck beneath his boards, no loose screws...everything was perfectly normal. This should have been relieving, but it only frustrated the alien further. It brought him back to square one, making Gir’s behavior even more unusual. Closing the robot’s frame, he stood up, dusting off his gloved paws.
“I’m sorry,” Gir said suddenly, sensing his master’s frustration. Zim looked down into the face of the robot, noticing the tears welling on the side of his blue eyes—a rather strange feature that didn’t seem to affect his mechanical body at all.
The Irken felt a sudden pang of sorry deep within—he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t stay mad when it came to the immature robot. It was the only weakness he had. Gir was the only being on this entire dirty planet and many others in the universe and beyond that could be upset and make Zim truly feel bad for it. He would never feel the same way for anything else, only Gir.
Feeling a slight, sudden awkwardness, Zim rubbed his arm. “Look, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong with you,” the Irken frowned, trying not to show the sympathetic side of himself. He just wanted to get back to work. “If it’s going to affect your ability to obey my orders, then I need to get it fixed. And quick.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Gir tried, his voice sounding sad and weak. “I’m just thinking.”
Zim figured that was all he was going to be getting out of the robot from now. Pinching the spot on his face where the bridge of his nose would be if he had one, he sighed. Turning around, he absently waved a hand. “Okay. I’ll do proper diagnostics on you later. Leave Zim to his work for now.”
Zim listened as the robot left the lab, possibly returning to the couch. With another sigh, he set back to work on his computer, fixing the malfunction with little issue and no more interruptions.
Satisfied with his work, Zim packed up the tools he had used and set them aside, returning back upstairs. It was creeping on nightfall, and the Irken decided he was done for the day. His scheming could wait until tomorrow.
Appearing in the living room, Zim curiously peered towards the couch, noticing Gir on the couch just as he had assumed. Something was different, though. The robot’s eye lights were flicked off, showing that the robot was off. Had he powered himself down and put himself in an idle state? He knew the units could do that, and it was probably a useful resting protocol for the functioning S.I.R. units, but this just wasn’t like Gir at all. Perhaps he did it to avoid whatever the robot had been ‘thinking’ about.
Frowning, Zim couldn’t help but find himself beginning to worry, just a little bit. Something was seriously wrong with his robot, but everything appeared...normal. Maybe it would help to get an outsider’s opinion. But, no...but maybe he didn’t have a choice.
Trying to swallow his pride, Zim left his base, not even bothering to apply his disguise, but he kept it in his PAK just in case. Stealthily, the legs of his PAK retracted and he allowed himself to be carried as the metal legs moved like a spider, scurrying through the neighborhood towards his enemy’s home. Once he arrived, he peered up, climbing up the side of the house to a window. He assumed the human would be asleep by now, so it would be best to find entry through here.
Zim pried the mechanical legs underneath the window, the claws gripping onto it harshly as it pushed it up and open, allowing the alien access. He tumbled inside, the robotic legs retracting back into the PAK once he was inside. Lifting himself off the ground, he looked around, realizing that Dib was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he would be coming soon, but when? Frowning, Zim quickly scurried underneath Dib’s bed, awaiting his arrival, albeit impatiently.
Zim was beginning to grow bored and almost considered leaving until he perked up at the sound of Dib wishing his sister and his father good night. The door shut behind him, and finally, the human was in the room.
“Funny, I don’t remember leaving this window open,” Dib mused aloud curiously, his annoying voice like a grating sound to Zim. The human flinched at the feeling of the cold, night wind blowing in from the window. With a dismissive shrug, he shut it. He changed into his night clothes and then hopped in bed, planning for a good night’s rest.
Zim had other plans, however. As quietly as possible, he crawled out from underneath the bed, standing up. He pounced, his small form landing on top of the human, waking him instantly. Dib’s glasses-less eyes widened with panic as he made out the form of his alien enemy, his green skin shaded in the darkness of the room, but the peering, bug-like ruby eyes gave away his identity instantly, even with Dib’s blurry vision.
Zim quickly covered Dib’s mouth with a gloved paw, shutting off any outburst the teen could have made. “Quiet,” the alien hissed in a whisper, his voice laced with annoyance. “If you bring anyone in here I will not hesitate to destroy you.” It was an empty threat, but Zim did not want the possibility of any unwanted company, especially while he was undisguised.
Still panicked, but more so feeling annoyed with his enemy’s antics, Dib reached over to grab his glasses off his nightstand and put them on, prying the alien’s paw off his mouth. “What are you doing in my room?!” he growled, his voice hushed but bewildered.
Zim’s antennae twitched with annoyance. “The Dib-human has taken too long to come back to his room, and Zim has waited impatiently for hours.”
Dib sat up, pushing the smaller form off of his body and Zim fell backwards, sitting up at Dib’s feet. “You were in my room for how long?” Dib frowned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes from underneath his glasses. Zim was not actually there for hours, it had only been minutes, but correct details were unimportant. “Why?!”
“Zim needs your...” the Irken struggled on his words, not being able to swallow the last ounce of pride he had left. He forced himself to push past it. “...Assistance.”
Dib scoffed, “As if I would help you. Any help you get from me might aid you in taking over the world!”
Zim growled. He had a point—though, Dib’s words had little truth to it. The teen was more so just tired and annoyed with Zim’s unannounced, and somewhat terrifying, visit. They both knew that the Irken was no longer actively trying to rule the world, for it served no true purpose. Over time, the alien had grown to realize that the Almighty Tallest truly were not going to show up, so Zim’s reign became more of a passive hobby out of habit that always failed rather than true ambitions.
However, whether he truly needed Gir for his take over or not, Zim did not know what he would do without the robot he had grown fond of.
“It’s not for takeover!” Zim tried, not wanting to admit that he was growing slightly desperate. He wouldn’t leave until Dib agreed to help him, knowing that he would not receive help from anywhere else. He could always go to the human’s father, but it was hard to catch him at a time when he was available, and he wasn’t sure what kind of excuse he could give as to not give away his true identity. And, he knew for certain that his Tallest definitely would not help him.
His words did not convince Dib as he only glared into the alien’s eyes, annoyed. Somewhere underneath the bright red of his bug eyes, the human could see truthfulness and he softened slightly, rolling his eyes. “Look, Zim, I’m tired and we have school tomorrow. Wait until tomorrow and maybe I’ll consider helping you after class.”
“No! Zim needs the human’s assistance now! It’s urgent!” Zim spoke, slightly panicked. Dib tried to turn over and go back to sleep but the Irken would not allow him to as the alien quickly climbed back up, once again plopping himself down on top of Dib’s form. “If it were not urgent, the almighty Zim would not be coming to a pathetic being like you for help!”
Giving up, Dib groaned aloud and sat up again, glaring at the alien with annoyance. “Okay, you win, Zim, jeez. What is it? This better be important. Is something going to crash into Earth? Has our planet been put into another galaxy? What?”
Zim shook his head. “It’s—Gir...He’s acting weird!”
Dib’s mouth opened, unable to believe what he was hearing. “Your robot.”
“Yes! You understand! He’s been acting weird today!”
“Let me get this straight. You woke me up, panicked, like you were about to die, all because your robot is acting just a little more dumber than usual?”
Unused to the annoyed anger in Dib’s tone, Zim backed off the bed and onto the floor, keeping cautious distance. His red eyes were wide, his antennae flat against his head. He stood on the ground, rocking back and forth on his feet anxiously. “Exactly! You see that it’s urgent? I don’t know what’s wrong with him!”
Dib lowered his harsh tone, groaning with annoyance. “Have you tried communicating with him? Simply asking him what’s wrong? You try to disguise as a human and fit in with us yet somehow forget the social norm of being a human being every time.”
“That’s the thing! He won’t talk to me!” Zim growled, his voice high and squeaky as he spoke. Growing frustrated, he paced. “He just keeps saying it’s fine, and that he’s thinking! And when it’s not that, he’s not saying anything! Not doing anything! He’s just...” Zim’s voice cut off with a frustrated shriek that made Dib flinch, silently hoping the alien hadn’t brought attention to his family.
“Maybe he’s thinking about why you won’t shut up,” Dib muttered, mostly to himself as rolled his eyes, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand boredly.
“It’s not that—no, it’s something else! Something he won’t tell me!” Zim hissed, waggling a clawed finger in the air as if he were announcing a grand scheme, unable to pick up on Dib’s obvious snark and sarcasm.
“Zim...look, I’m tired, okay? Let me sleep and maybe I’ll help you with Gir tomorrow or whatever. I’ll see you in class in the morning.” Dib moved to remove his glasses but Zim quickly snatched his arm with a paw, pulling him out of bed.
“Not possible,” Zim frowned, pulling the taller boy out of his bed. “The Dib will help Zim tonight!” Without allowing the teen to protest, Zim let his PAK’s legs come out and pry the window open once more, crawling out with the human’s arm in Zim’s grasp, climbing down from the building. When the Irken touched the ground, the metal retreated once again, back into the PAK. From there, the alien hurriedly walked, pulling along his enemy as the teenager struggled to keep up with the brisk pace.
Zim brought him to the house and Dib flinched at the sudden appearance of Zim’s robotic ‘parents’ greeting him upon opening the door, watching as they retreated into their own spaces on either side of the room as the two stepped inside. There, Gir was still on the couch, his power shut off.
“Is he sleeping?” Dib asked curiously, wandering up to the couch.
“Ha! Foolish!” Zim spit out, following him. “Robots do not need sleep, especially not S.I.R. units!” He didn’t want to admit, it was a rather valid guess, because Zim himself did not know exactly why Gir had shut himself down. For a S.I.R. unit, this type of behavior would be rare, reserved for idle, standby states or for charge ups. The behavior of a defunct unit, though...well, it was unpredictable.
“Well, sometimes robots need to charge their energy back up. Maybe he was just low on energy? Surely your robots would need the same thing.”
Huffing with annoyance at Dib’s reasonable assumptions, Zim ignored him as he grabbed the lifeless form of Gir, flipping his limp, metal body onto his front as he opened a panel on his back, flipping the power switch on manually. The robot could do it himself from inside his system wiring, but there was no telling how long they’d wait if they left the robot to tend to his own functions.
Zim situated his servant back to a sitting position as the robot’s life began to flicker in his eyes, the bulbs inside glimmering with light as the machine powered on fully. Blue lights blinked at red eyes and for a fraction of a second, Gir’s body spasmed with a burst of electricity and energy inside his wiring before seemingly returning to normal, his behavior announcing that the machine had fully completed booting up.
Zim expected his robot to suddenly exclaim in happiness at the sight of his master and his master’s ‘friend’, and Zim flinched, also expecting the robot to launch himself forward onto the Irken and annoyingly cling on with a hug that always took the breath right out of his body. None of Zim’s expectations ever came.
The robot sat there, his system whirring softly. Despite being powered on, he still appeared lifeless, drained of any energy and happiness he once had. The only sign of awareness in him was the curious blinking as he held eye contact with his master.
“Gir,” Dib began, hesitant. He was beginning to feel uneasy as well, realizing what Zim meant by how unusual this was. “We can both tell you’re acting strange. We don’t mean to interrogate you, we just want to know what’s wrong.” Dib was trying to be reasonable, but he was finding it hard to speak to a robot with no visible indication of what he was thinking or feeling.
“Except we are interrogating him,” Zim interrupted with a frown. “Zim must know what’s wrong, or else it can’t be fixed!”
“You can’t pressure him, he won’t say anything to you if you bully him into speaking!” Dib hissed, voice slightly hushed.
“Gir is programmed to obey my every order!”
“He obviously has a mind of his own, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to!”
“It’s in his wiring! He was made to follow my commands! He—“
Zim’s voice was cut short when Gir suddenly hopped off the couch, walking away from the two. He walked forward and plopped down on the ground, sitting closer to the television.
“Look, let me handle this,” Dib frowned, lightly pushing the alien aside as he approached the robot. For a small moment, he wondered to himself why he was helping this situation to begin with. He felt like he was stepping into some kind of personal conflict he shouldn’t be involved in. But then again, he knew that if he didn’t solve this, Zim would never leave him alone about it.
Sighing, Dib got down on the ground beside Gir, watching as Zim did the same, albeit hesitantly. The alien pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. In a way, the Irken seemed almost shy, anxious, and sheepish, unused to the calm approach of handling issues.
“Gir,” Dib tried again, his voice gentle. “We can both tell that something is bothering you. Are we right?”
“Maybe,” Gir answered after a moment of unresponsive silence, his voice trailing off.
“Is it something that Zim can fix?” Dib asked, feeling like he was getting somewhere. Even Zim was in awe, his head tilted to the side curiously, in silent amazement that the human had gotten the robot to actually meaningfully answer.
“I dunno...” Gir spoke, his voice a slight question, as if he were wondering the same thing. “Maybe...”
It seemed as if they were finally getting somewhere. “Well? We can’t help you unless you tell us. I’m sure whatever it is, Zim can help you.” Dib prompted.
“Well...” Gir hesitated, looking to his side. His eyes met his master’s red ones. The robot hesitated again before finally standing up, walking forward. He grabbed his green dog disguise that was lazily sprawled on the arm of the couch, bringing it forward and dropping it in front of the two boys.
Peering curiously at the costume, Zim studied it for a moment, not seeing any flaws in it, before looking back up at Gir with a questioning look.
“I don’t always want to use it,” Gir explained, his voice box projecting slight sheepishness.
“You can’t go marching around without it!” Zim frowned, frustrated that this whole issue was caused by the robot’s slight rebelliousness. “Are you—“
“Why, Gir? Do you have a reason for not wanting to use it?” Dib asked, interrupting whatever insult Zim was about to throw out. With a grumble, the alien quieted, albeit unwillingly, letting the human do his work.
“Well...Kinda...” Gir spoke, his voice having childish pauses as if he were a toddler learning how to speak. The robot unzipped his costume and stepped into it, zipping it all the way up. “I like my costume! I like being a doggy! But...sometimes I want something else...” At the last sentence, the robot unzipped the head and let the hood hang off loosely, a vague sadness evident in his face.
Dib, feeling strange, looked to Zim to take over. This was a personal issue between the robot and the alien. Only Zim could properly supply the robot with a new disguise.
Zim let the words process in his head and he looked at his robot, forcing himself to find the will to be patient and gentle. It was hard because he went through all this trouble to get help under the assumption that something was seriously wrong with Gir, when it just turned out to be as simple as the robot having his own independent wishes. However, at the sight of tears threatening to spill from the robot’s lenses, he lost any visible sign of frustration.
Sighing, the alien stood up, reaching down to take Gir’s soft, costumed hand in his own paw. “We can go find you another disguise. But it can’t be anything silly, okay? We’re trying to look normal.”
Dib was about to get up and head home, already feeling his body grow tired now that the situation was dealt with, smiling to himself proudly for being so smart to figure out the issue. He stopped in his own tracks, though, whenever Gir let out a sudden outburst.
“Wait!” the robot spoke, his voice no longer showing any sadness it once held, seemingly returning back to his usual self at a steady rate. The robot grabbed Zim’s other paw, holding them and bouncing up and down in place, suddenly excited with his master’s willingness to help with the issue. “I want to be like you, Zim!”
“Be...like Zim?” the Irken echoed, obvious confusion evident in his voice.
“Mmhmm!” Gir hummed ecstatically, his lighted eyes blinking closed as he smiled happily.
“I don’t know what nonsense you speak of, Gir,” Zim spoke, one antenna twitching. “Be like Zim? Nobody can be like Zim! I’m me!”
Gir shook his head, still holding onto Zim’s paws, bouncing in place again happily. “No! Look,” he let go of one paw but held onto the other, bringing Zim closer to the television. With his available hand, he grabbed the remote and flicked through the channels, searching for something. Finally, he stopped on a channel, showcasing a bunch of humans rather than the silly animated cartoons the robot seemed to always be preoccupied in.
Zim was about to prompt further explanation when Gir let go of the remote, pointing to the screen. “There!” Behind his puppy costumed finger stood a little girl, prettier than the other human girls that Zim tended to see around town. She couldn’t have been much older than seven—her hair was tied up into little curls and she had a neat appearance, wearing a cute little dress to top it all off. “Like that!”
Watching the whole interaction take place, Dib drew the conclusion. “He wants a human disguise like you, Zim,” the teenager spoke, his voice slow as if he were speaking his thoughts more so to confirm with himself rather than anyone else. “But he wants to appear like a human girl.”
With that, Gir nodded happily, excited that someone seemed to understand.
With Gir’s excited behavior, something inside Dib seemed to click. “Gir, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I have a question for you. Is there a particular reason why you want to appear as a human girl specifically? Not a boy, like Zim?”
“I dunno. I think they’re prettier!” Gir smiled, looking back at the television. The little girl was still behind the screen. Beside her was a taller boy, supposedly her older brother. Although still neat as well, he wasn’t dressed as nicely as the little girl.
“Do you...want to be seen that way?”
At Dib’s question, Gir tipped his head to the side curiously, not understanding.
“Okay,” Dib began again, thinking of a way to better explain it. “I’m a boy, and so is Zim. If I were talking about Zim, I would say he is a boy.”
Gir nodded in understanding, his tongue poking out of his metal mouth as he smiled up at Dib. Zim only stood there, confused at what the human was trying to solve.
“So what about you?” Dib pointed at the robot. “Gir is a boy. He is a boy. Does that sound right?” Lowering his arm, the teenager waited for the robot to answer.
Gir was obviously thinking and after a small moment of silent thought, he shook his head as a confirmed negative.
Dib pointed at the robot again. “Gir is a girl. She. She is a girl. What about that? Is that better? Do you understand?”
“Yes!” Gir yipped excitedly, running up to the human. The robot jumped up and down, excited that someone was able to understand. “Yes! Girl! I want to be a girl!”
“Dib...” Zim finally spoke up, confused, one brow arched and the other eye narrowed. “How did you know about this? About what to do?”
“My sister,” the human offered with a smile, but gave no further explanation. He turned to the excited robot, not being able to help the small chuckle that escaped his lips. He would bask in his pride of being able to solve such a simple little issue while his enemy was helpless to do it himself. “So, now that that’s fixed...I’m going back to bed. Please leave me alone at least until tomorrow morning.”
“Wait!” Zim stopped him, obviously hesitant. “The human says it’s fixed, but Zim sees no change. No progress.”
Dib rolled his eyes, mostly in a fond manner. Were there no trans Irkens? Surely there had to be at least some. “It’s not a change you’ll visibly see to begin with. Gir being happy should be enough of a change for now, but you have to help.”
“Help?” Zim parroted, confused. He looked down at the robot, the blue eyes staring up at him expectantly.
“Give Gir what she wants, Zim. You have to help her make that change.”
Zim met Gir’s eyes again, his behavior obviously sheepish. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. Zim does not understand, but if it is what helps the robot follow my orders...”
Gir exclaimed and hollered, and if it were any louder Zim would have feared that she would have woken up the whole neighborhood. The robot wrapped her arms around the alien’s slim, small body, tightening her grip into an embrace.
“Er, I guess this is goodbye for now, Dib-Stink. Thank you...I guess,” the Irken spoke awkwardly, his voice slightly labored from the tight hug. Before Dib could respond, Zim continued. “Maybe you were the foolish one. Maybe you possibly aided Zim with this...discovery by helping me rule your disgusting, stupid planet!”
Dib couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I bet I did. I’m so scared. Anyways, see you in class tomorrow. Maybe start researching issues before you come to me in the middle of the night.” Without allowing another word from the alien, Dib left, shutting the door behind him. Zim watched as the figure disappeared, walking down the sidewalk until he was completely out of sight.
“Gir, you can let go now,” Zim finally said and the robot unattached herself from the Irken, staring up at him. His paws on his hips, Zim stared down at her in thought.
“We can pick out your new disguise tomorrow. I have to tend to something. Are we getting rid of your old one?”
“No! I still love it! I’ll wear it...only sometimes,” Gir said, holding onto the costume that was still halfway zipped around her metal body. She zipped the head back up and walked over to the couch, but not before hugging Zim one last time.
“Okay...Gir, you do whatever you normally do during the night. I’m going to go...do some research.” With that, Zim departed from the living room, hearing the volume on the television increase as he made his way down to his lab. Taking a seat at his newly fixed computer set up, he began typing, wanting further answers for this situation he was facing with his robot. Of course, he’d never find anything having to do with robots, much less an alien species, but the results he found on humans were...interesting.
Before he knew it, hours had passed, and it was about one hour until class started. Blinking his red eyes, slightly strained from his hours of research in the dark, he sluggishly got down from his seat and headed upstairs. There on the couch laid Gir, curled up in her puppy disguise.
“Gir!” Zim spoke up, waking her up instantly as she grew attentive to the Irken’s voice. “I’m going to school. I can’t trust that human to not tell everyone what happened last night. The disguise will have to wait.”
“No!” Gir exclaimed, hopping off the couch. “It won’t take that long to get one, I promise! I won’t be picky! Please!”
“Okay, okay!” Zim took her hand and waited as his PAK began bringing out materials—different disguises. Out of the PAK came a wig, similar to his own, but it was long and pulled up. He took the wig from the clawed grasp of his PAK and placed it on top of the robot. It covered her antenna perfectly. The wig was black and was pulled up, save for the one strand that hung from both sides where her ears would be if she had them. The hair that was pulled up on the top of her head was short pigtails. The wig had a messy fringe, almost as if they weren’t cut properly, but it served for a cute look. Next came a dress that Zim helped her put on—a light green dress that was long sleeved and had a white collar. The dress got more puffy and ruffled the further it went down. Then, Zim gave her a small, black, kiddie cardigan, small enough to where it would fit her body without dragging but it hung rather loosely off her shoulders.
“I had already...prepared these after everything last night,” Zim said idly as he prepared his own disguise, putting in his contacts and adjusting his wig. “I did some research on the situation.”
“I love it!” Gir exclaimed, flailing her arms wildly as she danced around, her movement unpredictable. Zim tried to avoid her possibly bumping into him.
“Yes, yes, Zim is glad you will listen now. But, is your name still...the same?”
That seemed to grab the little robot’s attention as she stopped, staring up at him curiously.
“Is your name still Gir?”
“Yes!” Gir smiled at him. Wanting to change the subject, she grasped one of his paws. “Can I go with you? Please? Please?”
Zim tried to shake her off but her grasp was too strong. He groaned, giving in. “Okay! You can go with Zim but you must keep your disguise on at all times!”
“Yay!” Gir jumped joyfully, not letting go of his paw. “I get to try out my new disguise!”
Sighing, Zim took her hand in his own and led her out of the house as he began walking towards the Skool. He would most likely be late for class, but it was fine. It wasn’t like he really cared anyways. He just hoped he wasn’t too late before Dib began spouting nonsense about the antics of last night.
The two otherworldly beings walked hand in hand as Zim entered the building, leading his robot to the classroom. The teacher inside had already begun speaking when he arrived. When he opened the door, all attention was turned on him, but mostly rather it was turned on who was with him. Zim tried to stealthily sit in his seat while keeping Gir behind his back, but he should have known he couldn’t just sit down without her having to exclaim something.
And, of course, she just had to shout a greeting for the entire class.
“Zim. You’re late. Who is that?” the teacher hissed, her intimidating form towering over the Irken and his robot, looking at Gir who had situated herself in his lap.
“My—my, uh...” Zim hesitated, unsure of what to say.
“This is my big brother!” Gir exclaimed wildly, smiling from where she sat.
Zim gulped. “Yeah. My...my ‘parents’...couldn’t watch her today. So I have my li-little ‘sister’...with me. Today.” The Irken finished with a fake smile, hoping his story was bought.
The teacher only huffed and went back to her desk. “Keep her in line and make sure she doesn’t disrupt the class, or else.” Zim let out a sigh of relief, off the hook, as the attention was no longer on him and the teacher began teaching again.
Zim looked to the side, noticing Dib. He was looking at the alien curiously. However, there seemed to be no form of menace in his stare.
Before too long, hours had passed and lunch had begun. Zim was quick to hurry to the lunchroom, ready to get Gir something to eat before she started to become restless. Bringing her may have been a mistake.
Grabbing a tray quickly, he hurried over to the table he usually sat at by himself, feeling nervous with the sudden new stares that were directed at him. He wasn’t used to attention like this ever since he first came to this planet.
“Ohh, food! Food! Is that for me?” Gir exclaimed, jumping on top of the table. Before Zim could answer, she took the tray and began eating, making a mess of her face.
“Gir! You’re bringing unwanted attention!” Zim tried to hiss under his breath, holding her head and hurriedly bringing up a napkin to her mouth, wiping away the disgusting grease and sauce from the school pizza. That didn’t stop her, though, as she kept on devouring it until the tray was clean. With a disgusted sound, Zim laid the napkin down on the tray and pushed it away, further down the table.
Zim made eye contact with every kid that was giving him strange looks and he hissed at them, returning their mocking stares with a penetrating glare.
“Look at that little girl’s eyes!” one kid giggled amongst her group of friends.
“Her skin! It’s gray!”
“Have you seen how she acts? She seems so annoying. I wouldn’t want that to be my little sister.”
Zim growled lowly, clenching his fists with frustration. He didn’t want to let them just talk about his robot like that. As much as she could be a nuisance, she was the only one Zim could truly call a friend—and maybe more. Maybe they really did have some sort of familial bond, the Irken came to realize as he felt protective over the robot.
“What’s wrong, master?” Gir asked, looking up at him from where she sat on the table’s surface.
“Don’t call Zim that around here,” he frowned.
“Okay...What’s wrong...big brother?”
Before Zim could answer, a pest had found its way to his table. Looking up, he met the eyes of Dib, his brown ones peering at him from behind glasses.
“What do you want, human?” Zim grunted underneath his breath, already feeling frustrated. He didn’t want a mockery from his enemy as well. However, everything he expected never came.
“You’re pretty brave for bringing something here that behaves so wild like that and is mostly out of your control, I have to give you that,” Dib commented as he sat.
“How does it feel, Gir?” Dib addressed the robot, curious. It was almost as if Zim wasn’t there at all.
“Great!” Gir answered with a smile, sitting on the edge of the table, playfully kicking her feet out continuously. Dib took a bite of his lunch, nodding his head along.
“You should come to my house later,” Dib smiled at her. “I bet you’ll like Gaz. My sister. You might not be able to stay long, though. Dad wants to go out and eat with us tonight, and this time, it’s my turn to pick the place! I can see if Dad will let me bring you along. I’m sure he’ll allow it.”
Zim butted in, clearing his throat. “Gir is not allowed to go there,” he narrowed his eyes, looking at Dib suspiciously. “Zim is not stupid like you weak Earth beings. You will take her and do experiments on her, but I will not be so easily fooled!”
Dib rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Zim. Do they not have acts of kindness on your planet? If you’re really that distrusting, you can come, too. You know, things aren’t still like when I was younger. You’re not an active threat anymore...if one at all.”
“How dare you say that!” Zim shot up in his seat, baring sharp fangs. “I will take over your pathetic planet, just you wait! I’ll—“ Zim’s sentence cut short, unfinished, when Gir surged forward, wrapping her arms around Dib’s neck and hugging him.
“When can we go?” Gir asked excitedly. “Can we go now?” She drew out the last word of her sentence, almost in a sing-songy way.
“After school, Gir,” Dib laughed as he pried the robot off of him. “You and Zim may not need it, but school is important to me. I can’t miss it. Dad would probably ground me if I left now.”
Zim grumbled to himself, slumping back in his seat at the lunch table. Even after everything, the human was trying to befriend him? Maybe he had fallen back too far on not being threatening enough. It was telling enough when the town’s weirdo, the only kid—besides his sister—who knew he was an alien and actively tried to ruin his plans, didn’t even bother to see him as a major threat to himself. He would admit, it was rather difficult without the help or approval of his Tallest. They wouldn’t even answer his transmissions anymore. Zim had already gotten over and accepted the fact that the two superior Irkens never believed in him to begin with, but a feeling deep inside him longed for approval from someone, something.
“Okay!” Gir exclaimed, snapping Zim from his thoughts. “Where are we going? Huh?”
“I was thinking about this pizza place that my sister really likes. I know it’s my turn to pick, but...I can’t think of anywhere else.” Dib tapped his chin in thought and adjusted his glasses. “Don’t get your hopes up too much. I don’t know if Dad will allow me to bring you along yet.”
“Gir is not. Going.” Zim hissed out, a tone laced with venom seeping between his clenched fangs. Almost in a protective manner, he grabbed Gir’s hand, pulling her off the table and closer to him.
“Aw, please, master? I’ll bring back some pizza for you!” Gir pleaded, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.
“No, Gir! I don’t want any of that disgusting filth! And I told you not to call me that,” Zim growled, clenching her hand between his paw.
“Okay...” Gir spoke sadly, lowering her head. It made Zim feel something he wasn’t used to experiencing. Guilt. Regardless, he just couldn’t risk his robot being taken apart by the human.
“Zim, I’m not going to hurt her,” Dib frowned, taking notice of the robot’s sadness as well. “She can—“
The sound of the ringing bell filled the cafeteria, signaling the lunch period was over. In a hurry and not letting Dib finish, still clenching Gir’s hand, the Irken left the room and led Gir back to the classroom. He didn’t even bother to take their trays to the counter to be cleaned by the lunch people. Sighing, Dib took the tray for him and put them away, heading back to the class as well.
The rest of the class day passed by rather smoothly. Gir was communicating and playing with the other kids whenever she could, and despite their previous rude remarks, they seemed to start to like her and think she was cute and funny. He was surprised. Everyone still thought the Irken was kind of weird, but he got a lot more attention now due to his ‘little sister’.
Once it was finally time to leave, Zim was quick to leave the building with the robot. As he marched them back to the base, Gir’s mind seemed to be preoccupied elsewhere. The alien already knew what she was thinking of.
“Gir, what would you do if the human took you apart? Experimented on you?” Zim asked suddenly, stopping to face his robot. His sudden question caught Gir’s attention as she met his gaze, ruby eyes hidden behind human-like contacts.
“Dib is nice! He wouldn’t do that,” Gir answered with a smile.
“He may seem friendly, but he is a human,” Zim hissed, the word ‘human’ being said with much disgust. “The same human who has ruined our plans all these times.”
“He seems like he wants to be your friend,” Gir said, mostly to herself as she mused on his behavior idly.
“Ha! Gross!” Zim stuck his tongue out, shaking his head. He waved his paws in the air. “Don’t speak of such foolish things, Gir! As if the almighty Zim would stoop as lowly to such things as...friendship...wait. Gir?”
Just as he should of guessed, as soon as he let go of Gir’s hand to wave his paws in disbelief, the mischievous little robot took the opportunity to wonder off, and Zim could only assume where she was going. The Irken hissed underneath his breath. Clever little thing.
Zim wasted no time in following the robot’s trail, running on foot because he didn’t want to use his PAK as legs out in public. Gir was fast when she wanted to be, so his main worry was that by the time he got there, he would be too late.
Running up the steps to the front door, Zim barged in the human’s house without bothering to knock. “Unleash my...!” he blurted out, pointing an accusing finger at the first person he laid his eyes on. He lowered it whenever he saw something that he could have never expected. “...Gir?”
“Hey, Zim,” Gaz greeted him plainly, focused on a little device that Gir was tapping away at. “You lost your little sister.”
Zim huffed, his cheeks heating up slightly, speckling it with a slight darker green than his skin. “Zim did not lose her!”
Gaz didn’t seem to be paying attention anymore, murmuring to Gir and occasionally pointing at things on the screen of the device that the robot was holding. Every now and then, he heard his robot exclaim with excitement.
“What is that?” Zim frowned, eyes narrowed as he stepped forward, looking at the two from where they sat on the couch.
“A video game,” Gaz answered, not meeting his gaze. Zim only frowned in response. He was familiar with them. Or, at least, he’d heard of them—it’d been a few times in the past that the Dib human tended to occasionally invite him over to play some. He refused every time. Maybe Gir was right about Dib wanting to push everything past to start a friendship, but the alien just wasn’t going to accept that.
“Where is the Dib?” Zim asked suddenly, now that his mind was on the thought of the human.
“He hasn’t come back yet. You beat him here somehow,” Gaz answered, beginning to grow bored of him. Zim frowned, not saying anything more as he sat by the side of the couch, slumping as he sank to the ground. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to get Gir to leave, but hopefully the two wouldn’t be stuck around here for much longer.
Not long afterwards, Dib entered the house, announcing his arrival. He stopped in his tracks when his gaze met the alien’s. The human eyed contacts held a somewhat passive, frustrated, yet at the same time, threatening look to them.
“Zim?” Dib spoke aloud, his confusion evident.
“I know what you’re thinking in that foolish, big head of yours,” Zim grumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them. He rested his chin down. “It was not Zim’s choice to come here. Gir ran off.”
Dib walked forward, observing the robot, who was still tapping away at Gaz’s video game. He smiled. “I see you’ve already made friends with my sister. She never lets anyone touch her video games! What do you think, Gaz?”
Gaz only shrugged her shoulders, still focused on watching the screen intently. “Weird not seeing her in that dog costume, but it’s whatever. Cool.”
“I helped her figure it out,” Dib spoke pridefully, laughing softly at the sound of an annoyed growl coming from the alien on the floor. “Anyways, I decided that we’re going to go to Bloaty’s Pizza Hog with Dad for tonight. I couldn’t really think of anywhere else. Maybe Dad will let Gir and Zim come along.”
“I told you, I don’t want—“ Zim began, frustrated, but was interrupted by an excited shriek coming from his robot, followed by a successful sounding electronic noise from the video game device, indicating a level successfully completed.
“You’re already here. You might as well join us,” Dib stated, taking a seat on the couch beside his sister and the robot. Zim didn’t say anything more, silence filling the room save for the occasional clicking of the buttons from the device and the murmurs from the other three. The Irken perked up at the sound of someone opening the door, his eyes meeting the very tall figure of the human father, Professor Membrane.
“Ah, you must be my boy’s friend, Zim,” Membrane greeted him, setting down a briefcase by the door. “A strange thing to see you here in the house, but I am rather glad you two seem to be getting along now. If only you heard the types of rumors he’d tell me about you...”
“Dad,” Dib hissed, slightly embarrassed. He had already given up on trying to make his father see that Zim was an alien.
“And who is this little girl?” Professor Membrane ignored him, heading over to the couch. He kneeled down slightly, looking at the robot that was focused on Gaz’s game. “One of Gaz’s friends?”
“I’m Gir!” the robot exclaimed, looking up from her game to look at the professor. As soon as she tore her gaze away, within that small, distracted moment, her player character died and the game ended the failed level. “Aw, man!”
“That’s my little sister,” Zim stood up, staring the father down defensively, trying to read his expression but being unable to due to how hidden he was beneath all his clothing. He could only hope that he didn’t see through Gir’s disguise.
“What silly looking glasses you have,” Membrane commented idly with a hum as he noticed Gir’s blue eye lenses, inspecting them closer. “Never seen those before. You simply must tell me the brand name later on. Anyways, children, you know it’s that time of year. Have you picked a place yet, Dib?”
The teenager perked up when he was addressed. “I was thinking about that one pizza place that Gaz likes,” Dib answered his father. “I know it was my turn to pick, but I couldn’t think of anything else.”
“Hm. The same place we went to last year? Okay. Are your friends coming along?”
Dib looked over at Zim for a small moment, meeting the Irken’s glare. Before the alien got the chance to protest, the teenager answered for him. “Yes. Zim’s sister has been looking forward to it all day.”
“Alright, that’s settled, then. Come along, children. There should be room for you in the car,” Professor Membrane spoke, the jingling of keys sounding in his hand as he walked towards the door.
“Shotgun!” Gaz announced as she raced forward, claiming the passenger’s seat before anyone could even make it out the door. Gir and Dib sat on both sides in the back, forcing Zim to sit in the middle, much to his annoyance.
Crossing his arms, the Irken sat back in the seat, hissing and baring his fangs when Dib reached over to buckle him up.
“Move over some!” Zim growled at him, kicking Dib’s leg. The two both had plenty of space, Zim was just very easily irritable at the moment.
“Hey—Ow, Zim! Dad!” Dib exclaimed, trying to catch the attention of his father as he kicked Zim back.
The only response he received from his father was a laugh and a murmur. “Boys will be boys,” he mused while Gaz only rolled her eyes at the two.
It wasn’t too long before they finally arrived at the pizza place. Gir and Gaz were quick to hop out of the car followed by Zim, only wanting to get away from his situation with Dib. They weren’t necessarily fighting, it was more like playfighting without the friendliness. At least it wasn’t full blown fighting, though.
Dusting off his striped shirt, Zim hurried to catch up with Gir. “Come, Gir. Let’s get this over with.”
“Pizza!” was Gir’s only response, excitedly grabbing Zim’s hand and pulling him forward. The family of three and the two guests entered in. Zim visibly shuddered at the sight of the restaurant. It was gross and filthy, and it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in years. Nasty little kids were running around everywhere, making the place even worse. Every time Zim met the gaze of a greasy little child who always stared too long out of curiosity of his odd appearance, he couldn’t help but cringe and shrink back. Gross.
“What’s wrong, Zim? Scared of a bunch of babies?” Dib elbowed the alien and laughed, following his father as he chose a booth for the group to sit at. Zim was quick to catch up to them, not wanting to stick around out in the open for too long, too vulnerable to the curiosity of the little beasts.
They sat at a booth that was shaped like a semicircle. Zim wanted to sit at the end so he could escape at any point but he was quickly pushed to the middle by his robot, shoved to sit next to Dib. Professor Membrane sat at the opposite end. It wasn’t long before a waiter came by and the father ordered for the entire group.
Zim was visibly uncomfortable, sitting still and firm in his seat, his body stiff. He couldn’t help but just stare at the nastiness of the entire place. He didn’t even feel comfortable touching the table.
He recoiled even more when the pizza came along. It was large, enough for all of them to get a few slices. Poking his tongue out in disgust, he sank back further.
“Something wrong, Zim?” Dib said between mouthfuls of the food. “You don’t like pizza? Every kid loves pizza.” Zim knew that both of them were aware that he could not eat these types of things without harming himself. Dib was only teasing him. The Irken had to repress a growl in response.
“Oh, no, of course I love pizza! Who could not love such a...tasty, delightful treat?” the alien forced out of his mouth, feeling like he was cursing himself for speaking such words. With a fake, awkward smile, he grabbed a slice, pretending to eat it but instead throwing it onto the seat beside him and Gir, to which the robot picked it up and devoured it in an instant. Quickly, Zim wiped off his fingers of the greasy slime that the pizza secreted. “Yum! I think I’m full now.”
Dib only rolled his eyes with a laugh, knowing that he didn’t actually eat. The father wasn’t paying attention at all, however. If Dib were younger, maybe he would have used this moment to prove to the professor that Zim wasn’t a normal human boy, but he couldn’t care anymore. Even if Zim and Dib were friends, which they weren’t as the alien would say, Zim still couldn’t help but feel nervous around the human father.
“It’s only expected. I would not hold you to have a large appetite for such a small boy,” Membrane mused with a hum, giving the alien one look over. Then, he turned to Gir. “As for your sister...”
“Ah, yes, she’s always had...such a large appetite,” Zim conversed awkwardly, shooting a glare at the robot, who didn’t even notice. Gir had already gone through at least four slices, devouring them whole. “Our ‘mother’ has been trying to work with her on her manners, trying to teach her to chew her food like a normal. Human. Little. Girl.” Each word was punctuated with a small hiss and a jab of Zim’s elbow, trying to get his robot to behave properly. Gir took the hint and began chewing her food, a soft clank sounding every time her metal jaws closed down and opened back up to chew.
Professor Membrane couldn’t help but laugh, “Kids will be kids. I was lucky for Gaz to have learned manners at such a young age, though at this point I don’t think she does it because it’s proper. I just don’t think she cares about actually acting out.”
“Yeah,” Zim forced a laugh, continuing to feel awkward. His body felt heated, growingly becoming nervous. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.
“You should come over more, Zim,” Membrane said to him. “It’s about time my boy made some friends. I didn’t think he ever would.”
“Dad!” Dib frowned at him, only earning a laugh out of his father.
“Heh, yeah...Maybe I should,” Zim answered, his voice sheepish and awkward. He was probably sweating now. Scratching his neck with a gloved claw, his eyes darted around the room, trying to find what else to say. The entire conversation was on him. “Well...! If Zim can find the time, that is. Very busy! Yes, yes...very busy indeed. With plans to rule the—my grade, yes...with how much homework I have to do! All good grades, and Zim will be the top of his class!”
Dib forced himself to not slam his head on the table or facepalm, and he could see Gaz visibly holding back laughter. The way Zim was acting under pressure, it was honestly a little bit of a sad sight to see. If only he realized that he didn’t have to always prove himself through his words that he could pass as a human. Nobody else could see through his disguise.
“Understandable, it’s one thing that some kids aspire to reach, but I believe you’ll have competition with my boy,” Membrane commented, hardly even noticing Zim’s odd responses.
“Ah, yes. Rivals, us two. Such rivals we have been...” Zim spoke, mostly aloud to himself, gazing at the human with narrowed eyes. Dib only poked his tongue out in response.
More conversation moved along and finally, Zim was beginning to feel himself grow tired with how much he was keeping up with the conversation. Finally, it was time to head home, and the alien could feel himself physically longing for the safety and solitude of his base. Despite how he felt, the experience wasn’t actually...that bad. He just refused to admit that to some degree, he rather enjoyed the experience of what it’s like to have human friends. He never got that feeling back on his own planet. He was only used to the constant ridicule and mockery of his peers and superiors.
“Hey, Zim, do you need a ride home?” Dib asked, a genuine offer to the alien as he stood outside the car, the sound of the engine starting up while his father turned the car on in preparation to leave.
“Uh, no...Thanks?” Zim answered awkwardly with a shake of his head. “Me and Gir can walk.”
“Okay. Maybe you and Gir should come hang out with us again some time. See you in class tomorrow,” Dib said to him, not allowing the time for a response as he got in the car and not long afterwards, the vehicle was out of sight, leaving the alien and robot in the parking lot while the sun was setting.
“That was fun! Thank you for taking me, master!” Gir grinned up at him, reaching up to grab his paw so that Zim could lead her home.
“Yeah,” Zim answered her, not bothering to say that she was the one who ran off to begin with. As he began to walk with her back to the base, he couldn’t help but think to himself. Maybe things weren’t that bad. The more he thought, the more he realized that maybe he could come to find himself enjoying his time on Earth.