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“Hey, good morning Tony.” Big blond and blindingly cheerful smiled at Tony from behind the coffee counter. “Your usual today?”
“Mmmphalways.” Tony mumbled, and when the barista’s smile only stretched wider, he sighed and tried again, “Yes, thank you. Sorry, I’m uh– I’m a little out of it this morning.”
“Yeah, I thought your hair looked a little fluffier than usual.” the barista joked and when Tony only blinked at him, the blond clarified, “We can pretty much tell whether it’s finals week or mid terms or if there’s a project due by the height of your hair.”
“You judge my stress by my hair?” Tony said in disbelief, and put a hand to his hair to try and assess the volume. “Are you serious?”
“Very serious.” Valkyrie leaned across the counter to get a closer look at Tony’s hair, her own curls piled high atop her head in a messy bun, dark eyes sparkling with laughter. “What is that, three inches today? You must have a project due.”
“I hate you.” Tony informed her, and Valkyrie chucked a few coffee beans at him for good measure and started to make his drink. “I do have a project due, last big one of the semester. Gotta crank it out, then sleep for a month.”
“Aw, don’t sleep for that long.” Blond barista was talking to Tony again, and he dragged his gaze away from where Valkyrie was pouring espresso shots to pay attention.
“Sorry, what?”
“Don’t sleep for that long.” Blondie repeated, and was he– was he winking at Tony? Was he flirting? People didn’t flirt at seven in the morning, what in the fuck– “You’re my usual Tuesday, Thursday Friday, it would screw my whole schedule up if you stayed away for a month.”
“…oh.” Tony tried to wrangle his face into something less confused. “…yep…I guess I’d hate to do that to the– to the schedule.”
The barista grinned and held at his hand and Tony was running on all of forty five minutes of sleep, entirely too much stress, and not enough coffee yet so he just– he just took the guys hand.
Blondie had been flirting whether Tony was awake enough to appreciate it, and damn the guy really was hot and even though Tony couldn’t remember the barista’s name to save his life, if the guy wanted to hold hands for a minute, he wasn’t going to argue.
A little weird, sure. Who held hands over a counter? But Tony hadn’t looked up from text books long enough to date in like two years and hey maybe this was what the kids were doing these days.
So yep. Tony just took the guys hand. Held the barista’s hand over the cash register because the day had already been weird, this might as well happen too.
“So.” Tony raised his eyebrows and attempted to sound as if he had any idea how to flirt and was in fact in control of his mental faculties at– my god, was it seven oh seven and he still hadn’t had coffee? “So uh– this must mean we’re dating now, right?”
He was joking, definitely joking, but Big and Blond’s sort of amazingly blue eyes went sort of shockingly wide before he stuttered, “I was just waiting for your card, Tony. You’re holding it in your other hand.”
Oh, fuck my life.
Tony snatched his hand back like it was burning and dimly, over the sound of his own screaming embarrassment, he heard Valkyrie about laughing herself sick over his mistake.
“Hey, it’s fine.” Hot Barista was blushing clear to his ears and even though Tony wanted to fall into a hole and die, he had to admit the blush only made the blond even cuter. “You haven’t had coffee yet, can’t be held accountable for your actions, right?”
“Yeah. Lets– let’s definitely go with that route.” Tony dragged his hands down his face. “Also, I’ve been listening to the Beatles on repeat and I’ve been singing ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ for like four hours. Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Blond handed over Tony’s coffee with a fairly suggestive smirk. “But if you uh, you ever wanna make good on the hand holding idea, I know a great spot for dinner just down the way. I’d love to take you sometime.”
“Mmmph.” Tony was back to non verbal, inhaling the scent of his coffee and then tipping it back and draining a frightening amount of the scalding drink in one big gulp. “Mmmmm java java java. Valkyrie, I love you.”
“I know you do.” Valkyrie laughed at him. “Good luck on your project today. Let us know how it goes.”
Tony waved over his shoulder as he hurried from the shop, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Valkyrie whirled on Steve and smacked him in the shoulder.
“Ow!” Steve scowled at her. “What the hell was that for?”
“What the hell was that for?” Valkyrie mimicked. “Steve! You don’t ask coffee customers to dinner! Look at Tony! Do you think he even knows what dinner is? That man lives from coffee cup to class and back to coffee cups! The only reason he talks to me is because I’m the one who literally creates coffee for him! You don’t-ask-coffee people-to-dinner!”
She punctuated each word with another punch at Steve’s arm. “If you’re ever going to get that guy’s attention, you need to get off the cash register and onto the espresso machine. Otherwise you can bat those stupid long eyelashes and fail at flirting all you want, and our favorite sleep deprived little genius is going to keep right on ignoring you. I bet he doesn’t even know your name.”
“That’s rude.” Steve protested. “Tony knows my name, I’ve been taking his order three times a week for like six months now!”
“Yeah….” Valkyrie shrugged uncaringly. “He doesn’t know your name, champ. The closest thing you’ll ever get to a date with Tony is him being caffeine deprived again and accidentally holding your hand for a minute. Which I mean–” she shrugged again. “–if that’s how you get your jollies…”
“I DO NOT GET MY JOLLIES BY HOLDING HANDS WITH CUSTOMERS!” Steve shouted, and the woman who had been entering the coffee shop turned right the hell back around and nearly ran for her car. “Oh. Oops.”
“Good job.” Valkyrie said flatly. “First you inappropriately hold hands with customers, now you’re yelling at them? You’re an awesome barista.”
Steve just looked at her, and Valkyrie looked right back. “I’m just saying, Steve. You want a chance with Tony? Step your game up.”
“Alright.” Steve straightened his shoulders. “I’ll step my game up.”
Valkyrie chuckled and went to make herself a cup of coffee. “I can’t wait to watch you make a fool of yourself. You are the worst at flirting. It’s practically painful.”
“Rude.”
“I think you mean honest.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t.”
****************
Tuesday morning Tony stumbled through the door and up to the counter moaning, “Valkyrie…”
“I’m on it, love.” Valkyrie assured him. “When do you hear if you passed your final?”
“End of the month.” Tony poked listlessly through the granola bars. “Longest three weeks of my life but you know, I’ve got finals in every class so at least I’ll be too busy to stress right?”
“I’m pretty sure all you do is stress love.” Valkyrie called over the noise of the espresso machine. “But three weeks will fly by, don’t worry. Then you can sleep. You definitely need to sleep.”
“Is that your way of telling me I look like tired?”
“It’s my way of telling you that you’re starting to resemble a zombie.” Valkyrie corrected and Tony smiled a little, then made an effort to smile a little more when Hot Blond came to the register.
“Morning, Tony. How are you?”
“Valkyrie says I look like a zombie.” Tony dug out his credit card and handed it over. “But you know, zombies are in all the movies, right? They’re sort of sexy.”
“Valkyrie’s a punk, I think you look great.” Blonde said and dang there he went flirting again and Tony– Tony was just too tired for this.
“Um, thanks.” He tried for another smile and rewarded by a nearly mega watt smile. “You are uh– you’re pretty fuckin’ hot too.”
Sexy Barista’s eyebrows about flew off his forehead and Tony mentally face palmed. “You didn’t call me fucking hot, did you? I just escalated that for no reason, didn’t I?”
“Up too late listening to the Beatles again?” Blonde teased and Tony snorted something that may or may not have been an answer. “Which song was it this time?”
“I keep coming back to the hand holding one.” Tony confessed. “Its got a good rhythm when I’m typing, but also I hit repeat on my playlist and it just looped between that song and Rocketman like eight hundred times.”
“Sounds like a fun night.”
“It definitely wasn’t.” Tony stretched and yawned and completely missed the way both barista’s eyes sparked when his shirt rode up and showed off a little bit of stomach. “I need a life beyond school.”
“Well, my offer for dinner is still good.” The barista took the cup Valkyrie handed him and scrawled something on the side. “If you’re up for a night out?”
“A night out sounds awesome, but I definitely can’t do that until after finals.” Tony yawned again, groaning when his jaw popped. “Sorry.”
“I’d wait.” The guy said immediately. “I mean, I got no problem waiting a few weeks. Not going anywhere anytime soon. Why don’t you give me a call and we’ll see how it goes?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll definitely do that.” Tony answered absentmindedly, his attention shifting from hot blond to hot coffee and he shivered in anticipation. “Mmmmm java java java, thank you. Valkyrie, I love–” He stopped, frowned. “Wait, this isn’t my drink.”
“Sure it is.” Valkyrie said quickly, and Blond Barista agreed, “Definitely yours, Tony.”
“No this is um–” Tony’s frown deepened and he set the cup back down on the counter. “I don’t know who Steve is, but I’m sure he’d be mad you are giving me his coffee.”
“You don’t know who Steve is.” Valkyrie repeated, swiveling to give very wide eyes to the blond. “You hear that? He doesn’t know who Steve is.”
“I feel like I’m missing a joke, but I’m too tired to care.” Tony blew out a deep breath. “I gotta go or I’ll be late. Tell Steve sorry I almost stole his coffee. See you Thursday.”
He was gone a minute later, leaving Valkyrie with tears running down her face and both hands clapped over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream with laughter, and a mystified, frustrated barista named Steve who couldn’t believe what had just happened.
“Alright.” he clenched his jaw, which only set Valkyrie off again. “Alright, Tony is way too hot to not have had numbers written on coffee cups before. How did I screw that up?”
“You tried to flirt with him before he’d actually had coffee.” Valkyrie explained. “What’s that, the fourth time you’ve asked him out for a date and he’s sort of said yes only to not remember it the next time? By the way, I told you he didn’t know your name.”
“Damn it.” Steve hung his head. “I am terrible at this.”
“Don’t give up, champ.” Valkyrie elbowed him out of the way so she could raid the display case for a snack. “He told you he thought you were fuckin’ hot, right? So even though you’re probably just a coffee producing blur right now, at least you’re a hot blur. Don’t give up.”
“You don’t think it’s a lost cause? Or creepy to keep asking?”
“Steve.” Valkyrie rolled her eyes. “Your version of coming on strong is writing your number on a coffee cup, and Tony is such a nice guy he assumed he’d accidentally gotten someone else’s coffee and gave it back. You two are hilariously oblivious and completely hopeless and definitely meant to have jittery, coffee fueled sex at least once.”
“…that was a weird sentence.”
“Eh. Not my weirdest.”
**************
Thursday Tony was back, and this time Steve greeted him before Valkyrie could, giving the overly tired and still morning grumpy PhD candidate a big smile. “Hey Tony. How are you?”
“Mmmph.” Tony was less verbal than usual today, rattling an alarming doze of Tylenol of out the bottle and swallowing them dry. “Mmmblergh.”
“Charming.” Valkyrie huffed and Steve waved her off. “Tony, you need an extra shot this morning?”
“Yes.” Tony said clearly, emphatically. “God yes. An extra shot. Right now.”
“Do you have any fun plans for the holiday break?” Steve took Tony’s card and swiped it through the reader. “Going back to California?”
Tony didn’t answer, but he did cock his head and squint at Steve’s over sized name tag for a moment, peering through a mess of curls and mouthing the word a few times.
Steve held his breath, waiting the moment where Tony realized that the Steve written on Tuesday’s coffee cup had been him and his number, not some random customer….
….but the brunette only yawned and commented, “Huh. I always called you Hot and Blond in my head. Hey, do you know the customer Steve, too? I got his coffee on Tuesday. Weird.”
“Yeah…weird.” Steve said slowly. “How much sleep have you gotten, Tony?”
“Like four hours.”
“Last night?”
“This week.”
Steve’s eyes bugged out, but Valkyrie was already handing over the extra-shot coffee and Tony was already shuffling out the door.
“Hey Steve.” Valkyrie said casually. “Do you know the customer Steve? Tony got his coffee Tues–ack!” she yelped when Steve flung a wet dish towel at her. “Ew! What the hell–?”
“The guy is sleep deprived.” Steve scowled. “It’s not my fault he doesn’t remember me or my name.”
“Sure. Sure it’s not.”
****************
Over the next three weeks, Steve and Tony went back and forth flirting and not flirting, successfully having conversations and then having days where Tony probably didn’t even have his eyes open as he shuffled in the door before his first class of the day.
Sometimes Steve was really on point with his flirting and managed to get a smile and a few lines of response from Tony, other times he received nothing but bleary eyed blank looks. Sometimes Tony called him Steve, other times Tony stared at the name tag for a minute and then called Steve ‘Blondie’ anyway.
Early one morning after an all night study session for a physics exam, Tony came in wearing a hoodie at least two sizes too big and Christmas printed leggins, and the next morning he came in wearing two different shoes and a crop top.
One morning Steve attempted to make Tony’s coffee and Tony burst into tears because it wasn’t perfect and he was so very tired, another time Steve attempted it and got it perfect and Tony blew him at least a thousand kisses as he wandered back out onto campus.
…it was a roller coaster of a few weeks.
But then–
“Tones!” James Rhodes popped his head into the coffee shop and shouted for Tony, who startled out of an early morning daze with a jump and scream and almost scared Steve to death as he tried to sweep the floors before the morning rush.
“Oh hey man.” James smirked at Steve’s dropped broom and scattered dust pile. “Did I scare you?”
Steve lowered his brows and glared, but went back to sweeping.
Tony didn’t recover as well though, a hand at his heart as he wheezed for breath, clutching at the counter as if he might collapse, eyes wide and expression panicky.
“Okay you see this?” James motioned towards Tony. “You see how you almost shut down right there? This is why it’s unhealthy to drink your body weight in coffee every week. Your hair is fuzzed out, your eyes are popping– stop with this. Stop all of this. You look terrible.”
“I think he looks great.” Steve objected and James pointed a disapproving finger at him.
“Just cos you’re trying to bone my friend here–” Valkyrie shrieked out a laugh and James nodded. “–yeah, don’t think I don’t know about all your lame come ons. How you gonna hit on a guy who doesn’t even function before his coffee? Tony barely knows his name before seven am and you’re trying to take him to dinner?”
“Okay but in my defense–”
“Honeybear, leave the hot barista alone.” Tony finally managed to find his voice. “What do you want? Why are you yelling at me? I didn’t steal your underwear today, I’m wearing my own, I promise.”
“I actually know for a fact you aren’t wearing underwear.” James said flatly, and waved off Valkyrie’s disbelieving expression. “Don’t look at me like that, all the times I’ve seen Tony naked have been terrible and unwanted flash of dangly bits as he runs from the shower so–”
“HONEYBEAR!”
“– don’t whine at me, Tones. You got zero boundaries and you know it. I’m just saying I know you aren’t wearing underwear because I saw you streak around the apartment this morning and then fall into a pair of pants and run down here for coffee and an ogle at the All American Beefcake over here.”
Steve grinned in delight, thrilled that Tony had come out this way to look at him, and James shook his head. “Nuh-uh, that wasn’t a compliment, man. Not a compliment. Anyway Tones, I came out here to tell you that you passed.”
“…what?” Tony went very very still, still enough that Steve actually readied himself to catch the brunette if he collapsed. “I what?”
“You passed.” A proud smile split James’s face. “You did it, Tones. Here in a few months you get to introduce yourself as Doctor Anthony Edward Stark, and hang that real pretty degree certificate on the wall.”
“I passed?” Tony repeated. “Oh my god… I did it. I passed? I passed! Valkyrie! I passed!”
Valkyrie whooped and cheered and whistled and James whistled out loud and clapped his hands and Tony lunged forward and grabbed at Steve, yanking him down into a spontaneous, messy kiss, crushing their mouths together for one amazing moment.
“I passed!” Tony screeched and let go of Steve to go and tackle James into a hug. “Rhodey! I did it! We did it!”
“Yeah Tones.” James wrapped both arms around Tony and squeezed him. “I’m real proud of you. But also, do you know you just kissed Barista Beefcake?”
“I’m too tired to care about that.” Tony announced. “I’m going home to sleep and I will see you all in about a month.”
Just like that he was gone, almost tripping out over his feet out the door and cheered to anyone who noticed, “I passed! I passed my exam! I can finally sleep again!” And because it was a university and they were all sleep deprived and running on coffee, everyone who heard him cheered right back.
“Alright, listen.” Once Tony was gone, James turned back to Steve. “Don’t get any ideas about that kiss. One time Tony didn’t sleep for thirty one hours and I saw him kiss a statue and tell it thank you for guarding the sidewalk. It didn’t mean anything. But I’m gonna get him to bed and make him sleep for a week and then when he comes back in here? Then you can ask him to dinner.”
“Wait, really?” Steve blinked at James a few times. “You’re alright with that?”
“Look man.” James gave the most long suffering sigh to ever be sighed in the history of ever. “Tony is a disaster running on spite and caffeine but every time he comes back from getting coffee here he sings that one terrible Beatles song about holding hands.That makes him happy which makes me happy so yeah, yeah I’m alright with it.”
“…alright?”
“So once he’s back to normal, ask him out again, I promise he’ll say yes.”
“Thanks.” Steve’s grin was fifty shades of goofy. “I’ll do that.”
“See that you do.” James sent Valkyrie a smile. “How you doin’?”
“Rhodey.” Valkyrie smirked. “You gonna come out drinking with me again?”
“I’m still hung over from the last time.” James held up both hands peacefully and backed out the door. “I’ll see you guys later, I’ve got a genius to track down.”
Valkyrie pitched an empty cup at Steve and grinned when he batted it out of the air. “Alright, I don’t want to admit it, but Tony singing ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ every time he sees you is pretty fucking cute.”
“It’s cute right?”
“Sort of disgustingly cute.” she agreed. “Make sure you treat him right. “
“Val, it’s a fifty-fifty he’ll even remember my name when he’s normal again.” Steve chuckled. “This will be like starting over at square one with Tony and I gotta say, I’m okay with that. It’ll be fun to know him when he’s not sleep deprived, you know?”
“Yeah yeah.” Valkyrie started wiping down counters. “By the way, I’m calling you Barista Beefcake from now on. That’s never going away.”
“…fantastic.”
**************
**************
A week later, a gorgeous brunette in very expensive clothing waltzed through the door of the coffee shop. His curly hair was perfectly styled, dark eyes sparkled from well rested features and his smile was brilliant, flirty and expectant and both Steve and Valkyrie stopped and stared when he sashayed up to the counter and leaned over to turn all that charm in their direction.
“I’ll take my usual.” he said smoothly and Valkyrie blurted, “Fuck me, is that you Tony?”
“Who else would it be?” Tony looked a little miffed that Valkyrie hadn’t recognized him. “You act like you haven’t seen me three times a week for the last several months.”
“Well yeah, but the last time I saw you it looked like Gollum had snuck out of the cave and crawled across my floor.” Valkyrie pointed out and Tony huffed at her. “Now you’re bloody gorgeous!”
“I’d like to think I was always gorgeous.” Tony returned flatly. “But thank you anyway.”
“Uh, hey. Hey Tony.” Steve gulped when the full force of those beautiful eyes turned his way. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” Tony wet his lips, his smile gentling into something a little more apologetic. “It’s Steve, right?”
“Yep.” Steve tapped his over sized name tag. “Steve.”
“Listen.” Tony cleared his throat. “I am real sorry about the last few weeks. I have it on good authority that you have been flirting with me and even asked me out a few times and I may or may not have said yes, but I don’t remember it so I feel like it doesn’t matter. There was something about a number on a cup and I thought it was meant for someone else named Steve? And um, also? Rhodey informed me I laid a hell of a kiss on you when I found out I passed my exam and I should probably apologize for that too.”
“Well I mean–”
“I promise I’m actually a real human person and not just a coffee fueled goblin.” Tony laughed a little and Steve felt it clear to his toes. “So um, I thought if you still wanted to try for a dinner date…?”
He let the question trail off and Steve managed the smoothest comment of his life, and as Valkyrie passed him Tony’s usual coffee, he handed it over to the beautiful brunette and murmured, “Dinner would be great, but really? I just wanna hold your hand.”
Valkyrie made a gagging noise, but Tony’s eyes opened wide in delight and surprise.
“You’re my favorite.” he decided and Steve grinned. “I’ll be back at noon, Barista Beefcake.”
“Oh good, I’m glad that’s catching on.”