Work Text:
"Hey, Delirious..."
Jonathan ripped himself out of his thoughts, like you know, strangling Evan's fans until they die, or maybe skinning them alive and feeding them to the sharks, when he heard Lui say his name. He almost forgot that he was with his friends in Evan's house and they were playing cards. It was actually Marcel's plan; to hang out and stay over there. He couldn't remember when that was, but he knew he was far too excited about it that he found it hard to sleep. It was one of his dreams to be with Evan, and it didn't matter if it was with friends or not, as long as his object of affection was present. And Marcel fulfilled it, fortunately, and obviously had it purposely done because his feelings for Evan were no longer a secret. His friends knew.
"Hey, Delirious, it's your fucking turn, man. Geez... If you want to quit, just say so," Tyler said. He offered him an apologetic smile and placed his cards slowly on the floor. He didn't feel like playing anymore. He was tired, all of a sudden. He didn't want to ruin the night so he decided to just quit and stop pretending that he was okay. But he definitely wasn't alright. He was mad, sad, and everything negative. He stood up quickly and eyed Tyler, who was looking up at him.
"What? I was only kidding, Delirious..."
He tapped the other one's shoulder gently. "Yeah, I know. But I'm tired. So I'm quitting." He heard his friends whine, especially Marcel, who was gawking at him while mouthing the word loser. He poked a tongue out. But his friends let the subject drop. The game was fun, alright, but some shit happened and he couldn't seem to forget it just like that. He couldn't help but glance at Evan who was laughing with Craig and he lost it. He frowned really hard and made his way to the living room. With the remote control in his hand, he slouched down in the couch and forced himself to watch a show that he didn't like.
Now he was reminded about his murderous plans to kill Evan's fans. His grip on the gadget tightened when he recalled every comment the fans had made on Evan's Ice Bucket Challenge video. Like, sure, he got it already. The man's a hunk. A tank. A sexy piece of shit. A 10/10 kind of man someone would bang 24/7. But the fans didn't have to mouth them off. Because he didn't like it, never liked it. He believed Evan was his and there was no way he'd share him with the others, not even with Tyler, Craig, and their other friends. He owns Evan. That's about it.
He's still a dick. He knows about my feelings and he's not even doing anything. Fuck you, Evan. You can kiss my ass, he dreadfully thought and switched channels. But hey, Evan kissing his ass wasn't such a bad idea. He would love it, for sure.
Jonathan awfully grunted when his mind brought him back to the fans' comments and how much he hated every single thing he had read. Evan should stop showing himself in his videos. That bitch probably knew he was THAT good-looking that's why he would do it on purpose and hurt him. He shouldn't have confessed to Evan in front of their friends. That way, he wouldn't feel like an idiot. He thought that by doing that, Evan would render him special and treat him more nicely. That he would take care of him and his feelings. He guessed that he kind of forgot the sole fact that the guy isn't gay. It was his fault. He should have just kept his mouth shut. But what's done has been done. He still remembered how his friend reacted to his confession. He wasn't sure if he looked like he was about to cry, or laugh. Whatever, though, because Evan hugged him and mouthed a soft thank you in his ear. That made him blush. His friends were being an asshole, too, ruining the moment by throwing crumpled papers at them and boo-ing.
"Heh," he grinned and suddenly looked up, only to see Nogla staring down at him.
"Why are you grinning?" the Irish man asked with narrowed eyes.
He diverted his gaze somewhere and coughed. "Nothing. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be playing cards with them?"
Nogla raised a shoulder and waved a hand at him, telling him to move a little bit so he could sit down beside him. He gave him a straight face but moved, anyway. Now they were sitting right next to each other, watching the television and acting as if they liked what they were seeing.
"So, Delirious, what was that about?"
"Hmm?" he asked and glanced at the taller man with a creasing forehead. Nogla glanced back and smirked at him.
"You know, I was looking at you the whole time we were playing. You looked really scary, I have to admit."
"What are you talking about, Nogla? I don't get it..."
Nogla placed a foot on the table in front of them, still having that grin in his stupid face and Jonathan wanted to wipe it off by punching the latter. Hard.
"Nothing, Delirious. But whatever it is you're having a problem with right now, I suggest you talk it out. Or else you'd find it hard to sleep later."
Jonathan frowned slightly and tried to disregard what Nogla said but he felt guilty. Because he really was having a problem. Evan-related. And he couldn't just talk it out to anyone. He knew he was being silly and all and he couldn't afford being the center of jokes. So he must keep quiet and just swallow it.
"Yeah, I don't have any, Nogla. Thanks for the comfort, though..." he mumbled and sighed deeply. He wished he could talk to Nogla about it. But this guy seemed mysterious. Like alright, he's a very good buddy of his and he had told him several things that he didn't talk about with the others. It's just that, the topic was Evan. He had never talked about Evan with his friends.
"No problem, Delirious. Ah, this show is boring. Can you switch channels?"
Jonathan laughed a little, agreeing with what Nogla said. "I know, right? And here's the remote, Nogla. I'm going upstairs, I'm tired," he added and passed the remote control as he stood up from his seat. Sleep would probably help. As always, he was just being silly. The comments didn't mean anything and they shouldn't mean anything. And besides, he's with Evan and that's all that mattered to him. He should keep the positive vibes in him.
"Oh okay, Delirious. Sleep well, buddy," Nogla said and offered him a mock salute which he returned with a middle finger. The Irish man just chuckled and went back to switching channels.
Jonathan could hear the lively laughter from the room which Evan called "Game Room". He stopped walking and decided to listen for a bit. He heard Craig talk really fast with Marcel and he couldn't help but smirk because those two had always been like that. So noisy, but really funny. Well, he could be very noisy, too and sometimes he felt afraid that he'd piss off everyone but they reassured him that it was nothing and they enjoyed his personality. He was about to make a step to finally ascend the stairs when the door opened, revealing a laughing Evan. His heart jumped out his chest, then jumped in again, and he swore it was squirming because his chest suddenly tightened. He didn't want to deal with Evan. Okay, he was overreacting. Why wouldn't he deal with Evan? It's not like Evan knew what his problem was. Or what he was feeling.
Jealousy should fuck off! Gah I fucking hate it... he cursed in his thoughts and met Evan's eyes.
Evan made sure that he had closed the door already before leaning against the wall and shoving one hand in his pocket. Now this was growing awkward. They were both facing each other and Jonathan wasn't sure if he should just flee or talk to the man! He hoped that the other one wouldn't ask about what happened earlier like what Nogla did. Because he would lie to him, as well, even if he promised to himself that he would never ever lie to Evan.
"Are you going to bed already?" Evan asked in a gentle manner which surprised him. Evan was never that gentle. He was usually brash, loud, and not like this. Although he liked it better this way. And it was a good thing that it was a question about going to bed.
"Hmm, yeah," he answered and gave him a smile. "I'm... kinda tired."
"Did something happen?"
Uh oh, here it goes. "No. Nothing. Why are you guys asking me that? I am okay haha," he faked a laugh and shrugged. "Really, everything is okay, Evan."
"Hmm, are you sure?" Evan looked like he was worried or something. And Jonathan's heart melted. Was he serious about this? Or was this his way of mocking him like what he would usually do? He couldn't figure it out but he felt...happy.
"I am very sure. I'll see you tomorrow. 'Night, Evan," and he turned to take the way upstairs but Evan spoke again.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Jonathan halted himself from taking another step. But he didn't turn around to face Evan and answer. He was not in the mood for this. He was simply tired and he wanted to fall asleep and forget. Maybe tomorrow he'd forget it all. And he could finally spend a good day with Evan. And besides, even if he told Evan about his problem, he'd just probably laugh and make fun of him then share it with the others. He didn't want that.
"No," he listlessly said and finally climbed the stairs. He didn't bother looking back. Because for sure, all he would see was Evan's worried face. And he wouldn't hesitate to run into his arms and hug him.
---
Jonathan was already falling asleep when he felt someone sit on the bed. And the room suddenly smelled like chocolate ice cream. He knew who it was, but he chose not to open his eyes to greet him. He was afraid that once he'd crack one eye open, he would see that face again. That face he had always wanted to kiss. The jealousy he felt from today was still there, lingering. And he was so desperate to let it out but he didn't know how. Or maybe he did and he didn't want to do it. Because he didn't want his friends, especially Evan, to think that he was a weakling. A girl. A jealous girl.
He slightly gasped when he felt a hand cup his cheek. It was so gentle, as if that someone was scared of breaking him. He enjoyed the warmth from his cheek being held like that and he wished it would last forever. Then he heard him talk.
"I know you're awake, Delirious..."
He squeezed his eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. No, he wouldn't lose to this one. Evan was such a temptation. And he's perfect and beautiful and nice. He wanted him so bad, but it was far too impossible. They were both guys, and even if Evan turned out to be gay (hopefully), he'd still have his standards. And he was pretty sure he didn't meet any of those. He was just a simple guy.
"Why don't you ever tell me anything?" Evan asked with his index finger tracing the line of his jaw lightly. He groaned softly and heat seeped through his shirt. His heart was beating so fast. His eyes instantly opened when Evan's finger landed on his lips.
"E-Evan..." he whispered. Their eyes met and Jonathan saw anxiety in his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed for curiosity hit him.
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Delirious," Evan said and his finger left his skin, and Jonathan wanted to snatch his hand to place it back to where it belonged.
"W-What do you mean?"
He heard Evan sigh. Now he was the one who was worried.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Jonathan's eyes widened. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. If tonight was the last time for him and he'd be dead by the next second, he wouldn't even mind. He was on cloud nine and there was nothing that could do but appreciate it; totally. Evan was in the room with him, sitting right in front of him and playing with his fingers with his head down. He looked so lost, like his mum forgot to bring him home with her after a tiring day of shopping.
"What..."
"Listen," Evan said, licking his lower lip in the process and Jonathan had to swallow a moan. "After you confessed to me, everything started to change. Like, you were always on my mind. Still are. And it's crazy because... I know I'm not gay or anything but... I think I am? I'm really scared and I don't know what to do..."
Jonathan gaped his mouth open and he didn't know how to reply and what to feel. Did Evan just confess to him that he might possibly like him back? Or was he just hallucinating? He nipped his thumb in nervousness and he couldn't look at the other one in the eye. What was he going to say? Should he comfort the other one? And tell him that everything's fine and that he's not probably gay? But he'd always wanted Evan to be gay so they could like each other.
"U-Uhm..."
"So tell me. What's wrong? Did something happen? Do tell..."
And Jonathan dropped his shoulders down lazily. "I was jealous. That's it."
"Jealous of what?"
"Your fans. I read their comments on your Ice Bucket Challenge video and I got jealous out of nowhere. I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't help it. I wanted to kill them..."
He saw Evan grin a little. "You were jealous of them? Oh..."
"Yeah," he bitterly replied and covered his face with his now sweaty palms. "I hate you. Why would you even do that? Like shit, you know how handsome you are..."
"Well," Evan said and held his hands that were covering his face, pulling them gently to reveal his red face. "Did you like the video, though?"
Okay, he was teasing him now. That would mean everything's alright and dandy and he had nothing to worry about anymore. He was glad Evan was the first one to know about his "silly" problem and he didn't laugh at it. Instead he was comforting him in the most subtle way he could pull off and he was beyond joyful for that.
"Of course... but the comments--"
Evan shushed him with a soft kiss on the cheek. He squeaked and covered his mouth right away to hide the embarrassment. He felt like an idiot for sounding like a mouse that was about to get hit by a frying pan!
"Aww, that was cute. And Delirious, I just gave you a peck on the cheek. Are you still jealous?"
Jonathan bit his lower lip and shyly shook his head. The kiss was more than enough. He was no longer jealous. It was clear to him that Evan likes him back. Maybe they weren't together, but they had something in common that no one could ever steal. They both like each other. And that's all that mattered to him.
"No... But I sure don't mind another kiss?"
FIN