Work Text:
Dear Katie,
Remind me again why I thought signing up for a year in the Sandbox was better than staying with the CIA. It’s only been a month, and already I miss you more than I can say. It’s only 11 more months, though. Keep my ring with you to remind you how much I love you. I wish I had time to write more often, but they keep me pretty busy.
Love,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
It was great seeing your face on facetime today. First time I’ve laid eyes on you in three months. You still look so beautiful. I loved seeing my ring around your neck. I wish you’d wear it on your finger, but I understand you not wanting to jinx anything. It still seems so long until I’ll see you again. I’ll keep writing.
Love,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
Halfway there! I got your care package today. The guys loved the cookies. I didn’t know you could cook—last time you made dinner for us, you burnt the roast. Tell me the truth—Ma made them, didn’t she? That’s okay, I’ll forgive you for taking credit. CO says we might be able to facetime next week. It’ll only be the fourth time since I left. I miss you.
Love,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
It’s official! 90 days and I’ll be home to Texas and you! Just gotta keep myself from getting blown up between now and then. Just kidding—you know I’m always careful. The thought of you waiting for me keeps me going.
Love,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
Only 64 days left and guess what they did? They saddled me with a new EOD tech. Kid’s got some funny hamburger name. I call him Carl’s Jr. The little punk thought he could get away with touching my rifle. I showed him. He said it was broken, but you know what good care I take of my rifle. Third most important thing to me after you and Ma, at least for another two months. Then, hopefully, I can settle down with you and never pick one up again.
Love,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
Thought I was going to buy it today. Got careless clearing a room and stepped on an IED. Thought sure it was gonna blow and take me with it. All I could think of was never seeing your beautiful face again, never seeing my ring on your finger. I wished I could talk to you one last time and tell you how much I love you. Carl’s Jr. saved the day, though. He disarmed the bomb with seconds to spare. I told him to leave, but he wouldn’t. I’m glad he didn’t—I wouldn’t be writing this if he did.
Grateful to be alive,
Jack
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Dear Katie,
Guess you figured out by now I wasn’t on the transport. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Carl’s Jr. behind. I thought I could—I was there on the transport, hours away from home and you, and I thought of that poor kid with no one to watch over him, ‘cause you know no one would do as good a job as I would. So, I turned around and re-upped for another year. You should have seen the look on his face when I came back. Seeing that smile was worth it all.
I guess you know without my saying not to wait for me. I’m sorry, Katie. 64 days ago I never thought I’d be saying this, but I found someone else. He’s grown on me, Katie, and I can’t imagine leaving him alone out here in the Sandbox. Can’t imagine being without him at all, really. I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to end this way—can’t even facetime you and tell you in person because the CO says we’re on radio silence. Keep the ring.
Jack
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Jack put down his pen and sighed. That was the hardest letter he’d ever had to write, harder than telling his ma he wasn’t coming home. He and Katie had been together for years; she knew he was CIA when even his ma didn’t. He’d been so sure he was going to spend the rest of his life with her, then this wonderkid bomb nerd had walked into his life and filled a hole Jack didn’t know he had.
Said bomb nerd sat down on the bunk next to him. “You tell her?”
“Yeah.”
Mac intertwined their fingers. “I’m sorry, man. I know it was hard.”
Jack squeezed Mac’s hand. “Don’t be. It probably would have happened eventually.”
It was a lie, and they both knew it, but Mac didn’t say anything. He looked around to make sure no one was watching and brushed his lips against Jack’s cheek. “I love you, you know. I’m glad you stayed.”
Jack rested his forehead against Mac’s. “Me, too, Mac. Me, too.”