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Moth

Summary:

Quick take on the last scene from s04E07. Getting some feelings out, because this episode struck a cord. Nothing graphic, but treading into bleak territory. Be sure this is not behavior I support. Stay safe and sane, friends.

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And the world comes crashing down, again. The pain is unbearable. He’s burning from the inside out, like a house caught on fire. His foundation is about to collapse. There must be water. Somewhere, anywhere. He shrieks. Someone is trying to talk to him. Elliot stares at his face and sees a tear fall down his cheek.

“You did this to me.”

Right? Maybe he should have known this whole time. He wonders how it could have been made any easier. How many years have been lost at this point? Steam is almost damn coming out of Elliot’s ears. He sits to try to get his head in order, and suddenly-

 

The love. A kiss on the cheek and a hand on his neck. The searing heat becomes warmth.

“I’ll always be here for you, kiddo.”

“Don’t tell your mother about this, okay?”

He liked it. Elliot could remember it that way.

 

“Do you hear me?”

There he is, back in Krista’s apartment.

“You are the storm.” Elliot never noticed how handsome Vera was. “Your power is beautiful.”

He feels rancid,

“Elliot, you’re special.”

but the way Vera looks at him says otherwise.

“I just don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

“Hey,” Vera places a hand on his ear. “You’re not alone.”

“I’ll never leave you alone again.”

 

“I see you.” All of him? Disgusting, vile, empty, damaged beyond repair. How could anyone see him like he was more? There's no way.

“You don’t want me.”

“Nah. I need you. Elliot, you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.” No way.

“You’re lying.” Elliot's voice cracks. Vera raises his other hand and strokes Elliot’s head like a long lost friend, or an old lover. He rests it on the back of his neck. Something is shining in this man’s soul, Elliot wants more than anything to grab onto it and never let go.

Elliot kisses him. Chaste, approaching slowly. Vera meets his lips with the same softness.

“I don’t know where to go. Where to go from here.”

“Elliot, look at me.” He looks. Vera had slid onto the floor, staring up at Elliot from his knees.

“I will always protect you. Always, no matter what.” Another tear falls onto the carpet. “Anyone who comes knockin’ goes. Through. Me.” His stare is scalding. “God knows I would go through Hell and back to make fucking sure no one gets to you ever again. That's on my life.” 

Mesmerizing.

He feels Vera's cautious hand move up his side.

Elliot rests a hand on his chest, grabbing hold of the collar of that sweaty undershirt like its his saving grace.

Vera kisses him again, warm, and Elliot opens like a flower.