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The thing about the red string of fate is that it’s designed to be perfect. And in a way, it is.
And in another way, it’s a misconception. It’s not fate - it’s foolish to believe that you are ever born to love someone. It’s an algorithm that took decades to create, calculations that take in at least 20+ years of your life before they designate someone out there to you, someone that is statistically perfect for you.
But despite the math behind it, and despite the rather crude nature of how love has dwindled down into horridly thorough psychoanalyzation, it is, for the most part, a work of art. Because for many who receive their red string and meet their soulmate, they will tell you, simply, it always feels like i was born to love them . They will tell you, a little unsaid message woven in their beautiful love story, that perhaps, the red string is a preordained miracle. Fate, they call it.
And so it becomes, the red string of fate.
For many around the world, it is what keeps them going - this idea that one day they’d be able to follow the red string into the arms of someone who will love them in all the right ways. To them, the red string is so much more magical than it actually is.
(For a select few though, they will tell you a darker truth and they will tell it to you like this: they were not perfect for their lover and so their red strings did not lead to each other. But the love they had for each other was so strong, that perhaps it could overrule such designation.
And while this sounds moving and revolutionary - they will also tell you that it is one thing to love someone, and something else entirely to love your soulmate.
Because, at the end of the day, you will always think about the person who your red string attaches you to. You will think about how they already love you, despite all your flaws, and you will think long and hard about how you are the only person in this world who can give them the comfort of a better life. After all, it’s proven, reports on reports and calculations on calculations, that you are perfect for each other.
So, they will tell you this: it is no use in disobeying the red string of fate. It will work it’s ways, and you must learn to accept it for what it is.
Then, quieter, in the shadows, someone else will tell you something a little bit different. They will tell you, simply, that you can spend your lifetime loving someone who isn’t your soulmate, but it only takes one moment for you to realize that they will never be the one, and when this moment comes, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
And all of them, all of these people from all walks of life, will agree on this one point: your happily ever after is only achieved if you follow the red string of fate.)
-
Yoongi meets Seokjin in the first year of college. Seokjin stumbles into the dorm room with tons of luggage, introduces himself and begins decorating his side of the room. Yoongi watches him put up polaroids of friends and family, scatter his plushies and figurines along his desk, and something in Yoongi thinks, ah, how cute.
They don’t talk much, at first. They have their own classes to go to, their own friends to make. Yoongi spends many nights awake, and many mornings buried in his bed. Seokjin spends many days outside, waking up for the gym and hanging out in the theatre halls.
But one day, Seokjin doesn’t come back until 2 in the morning, and Yoongi is awake then, playing his newly recorded track aloud, slurping up ramen and mountain dew.
When the door to their dorm room is open, and Seokjin steps in, both of them freeze at the sight of each other. Seokjin’s eyes are wide, at the sight of Yoongi sitting cross-legged on his bed with music drifting out of his laptop, and ramen halfway to his mouth. Yoongi only coughs, putting his ramen down and immediately closing his laptop. He tries not to take in Seokjin’s appearance, how the man has clearly returned from some social gathering, smelling of cheap beer and cigarettes.
“You’re back,” he says dumbly, reaching across his bed to grab a napkin to wipe at the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah,” Seokjin nods, “Why’d you stop the music? It was good.”
Yoongi only blinks in surprise, “Oh, I… I thought you didn’t like that type of music.”
Seokjin is glancing at him now as he takes off his jacket. “I never said that. I really liked that song. Put it back on Yoongi-ah. What’s it called?”
Yoongi clears his throat and opens his laptop. He swipes at his cheeks, hoping that Seokjin can’t see how they’re slowly turning red.
“I.. uh, I produced it.” Yoongi murmurs, and doesn’t miss the way Seokjin’s face lights up.
They find themselves sitting cross legged on Yoongi’s bed, sipping their respective drinks as Yoongi shares his music and Seokjin listens, keenly and attentively.
They wake up the next morning, limbs tangled together, and Yoongi’s laptop put to the side.
Yoongi’s eyes flutter open at a time where the sun outside is pouring through their window, yet he’s still hours away from his alarm clock ringing. He finds his neck hurting, from the way he’s curled on one side of the bed, squeezed over to make room for Seokjin.
When Yoongi notices that he’s sleeping next to Seokjin, he does a double take. He tries to extract himself from Seokjin, but can’t manage to get out of the bed without waking Seokjin up. So he stops struggling for a moment, and takes the time to just… Look at Seokjin.
And Seokjin looks so peaceful asleep, that Yoongi lets himself close his own eyes and drift off to slumber.
(When Yoongi thinks back to this moment, he thinks about how beautiful Seokjin was. He thinks about how he could write so many songs about Seokjin and Seokjin alone - and none of them would capture the beauty that Seokjin has wielded so well.
Perhaps, if Yoongi thinks harder, he might be able to say that that was the moment that he knew, that Seokjin would be one of the most important people in his life.)
-
They fall into an easy rhythm then, a feeling that they were always meant to be together in some sort of way. Yoongi fills his journals with an onslaught of lyrics inspired by Seokjin, and Seokjin starts hanging up polaroid pictures of just the two of them. They go on adventures whenever their schedule allows, from fishing to hiking - Seokjin is loud and embarrassing in public, but Yoongi always sticks to his side and never lets go.
They rearrange the room a few months after, with their two beds pushed together and their desks to the side. Now, at night, Yoongi doesn’t have to turn to the side and whisper out a quiet hyung for Seokjin to get out of his own bed and shuffle into Yoongi’s arms - now, Yoongi just reaches out his arms and he finds Seokjin there, already waiting.
So in many ways, they are meant for each other. And in so many ways, because they’re both optimists at heart, they’re probably soulmates.
At least, for Yoongi, there can’t be anyone else. There’s no one who understands him better than Seokjin, who makes him seaweed soup to lull him to sleep, who holds his hands and kisses his cheeks, and is the sole reason Yoongi is eager to wake up every morning to see the start of each new day.
-
They spend all of university together. After the first year, they are inseparable. They rent an apartment together, and they fall even more in love with each other.
For these years, the red string doesn’t appear for either of them. But they don’t worry, Yoongi is sure that they don’t need to worry about it. No, there’s nothing to worry about - they were, in every way possible, perfect for each other.
That’s not to say they don’t fight, or they don’t hurt each other. Sometimes Yoongi spends too many nights in the studio, forgoes food for music, and he spends all of those nights ignoring Seokjin’s calls. Sometimes Seokjin refuses to come back to the apartment, too stubborn to confront him, too proud to talk things out. Sometimes Seokjin spends too many nights out with his friends, forgetting the person waiting for him at home.
(Their first fight hurt a lot more than it should have, happened quicker than it should have.
“Where have you been?” Yoongi demands, as Seokjin trudges into their dorm with the ever nauseating stench of cheap beer and cigarettes. “You reek.”
Seokjin takes one look at him and scoffs, “Oh you’re back. Good to see you.” He’s peeling off his jacket, taking off his shoes, and the smell just clogs up the entire room.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi asks, even as Seokjin disappears into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. “Hey! I’m talking to you here!”
Seokjin doesn’t respond, so Yoongi starts knocking rapidly on the bathroom door, just to spite him, just to annoy him.
Yoongi hears the shower turn on and he knows it’s no use. Seokjin has officially blocked him out of his hearing.
So Yoongi sits on the bed, waits for Seokjin to come out and explain himself.
It’s 15 minutes later, when Seokjin emerges from the shower, smelling of flowers and honey.
Seokjin’s lips pull into a thin line when he sees him, and Yoongi glares a little bit harder.
“What did you mean?”
“I meant,” Seokjin starts as he dries his hair off with a towel, “That you’re barely here anymore because of all the time you’re at the studio.”
“I’m working,” Yoongi grinds out, “I’m not out partying and getting high off my fucking mind.”
Seokjin freezes, and turns to fix a stone-cold glare on Yoongi. Yoongi only glares back.
“Oh, yeah, fuck me for having a little bit of fun with my friends, because, you know, my boyfriend isn’t willing to spend any more time with me.”
“Don’t put this on me Seokjin.”
“You’re the one gone for weeks on end because you’re “working”! You go as far as to ignore my texts and calls! Tell me, Yoongi, what am I supposed to think?”
“That I’m working!”
“Oh fuck off.”
That night, Seokjin grabs a few of his belongings and leaves to go “sleep at Jaehwan’s”. He doesn’t come back for a week, he ignores all of Yoongi’s texts and phone calls. Yoongi returns to work, returns to spending all his nights at the studio, and weeks turn into a month before either of them see each other again. Before either of them make up again.
Yoongi knows that might not be healthy, but he knows soulmates who always fight, and yet the string between their fingers never loosens. Sure, their fights are intense and cruel, but they always kiss and make up. Yoongi isn’t worried, he patiently waits for the day he gets to show off how perfect they are for each other to the whole world. Patiently waits for the day he can raise his hand up, wave it and wiggle his fingers, and tell everyone around him about the red and shiny string.
Until then, if they must fight every now and then, well, it’s all part of the process.)
-
Yoongi gets his string on his birthday. He spends the afternoon with his friends, and he spends the rest of the night with Seokjin, who bakes him a cake and makes him dinner and writes him a birthday card so thoughtful and endearing it makes Yoongi cry.
“God, I am so in love with you,” Yoongi says in between sniffles, wiping helplessly at the corner of his eyes.
He hears Seokjin giggle, “Silly Yoongi-chii, my name isn’t God.”
Yoongi laughs then, and he shakes his head.
“No,” Yoongi says as he looks up at Seokjin, looks at how the light hits Seokjin in all the ways, and thinks back to the day he wounded up with Seokjin by his side, in his bed. “You’re right, you’re Kim Seokjin and you’re the love of my life.”
And then it’s Seokjin’s time to be bashful, the red flush from the wine they drank making it all the way to his ears, and he looks everywhere except at Yoongi.
“You don’t know that,” Seokjin says, eyes downcast. “Not for sure.”
Yoongi shakes his head, wills away the questions of what if he actually isn’t your soulmate and lets the idea - the fact - that Seokjin is definitely his (his soulmate, his lover, his, his, his, his, his) overtake his mind.
“That’s not possible,” Yoongi says, serious, despite the lightheadedness he gets from all the drinking.
(Later at night, when Yoongi is awake and Seokjin is cuddled up against him, close - his fingers start itching.
In the dim moonlight reflecting through the window, he holds up his hand to squint at his fingers. To his delight and surprise, he finds a red string neatly tied onto his pinky. It’s bright, even in the dark, and Yoongi squints at the trail it leaves.
He almost jumps up in excitement, before he realizes Seokjin’s sleeping body next to him - so he controls himself, rises up gently and strains his neck to peek over Seokjin’s body, trying to see which hand it’s connecting to.
It takes him a solid minute before he realizes that Seokjin’s hands are void of any string. No string. Just a ring on his pinky, where his string is supposed to be. And everything in Yoongi stops.
Yoongi’s eyes follow the trail of the string to find that it travels outside of their dorm. It’s bright, and it shines, and it’s asking Yoongi to follow it, to the end - to find his other half.
And in that moment, Yoongi’s world ends.
He doesn’t fall asleep that night.)
-
The thing about the red string system is that it’s designed so you live your life happily ever after with a person picked out to be your better half. It’s designed to be beautiful, in all senses.
But there are a select few who are not satisfied with the results, who are so in love with someone that isn’t their soulmate - and for them, they try their best only to end up in the one place they never wanted to be.
This is a historical fact. No one can really escape this system - no one wants to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness for mere moments of “true and organic love”. No one, in recorded history, has ever accomplished such a task. But Yoongi is different. He knows he is.
Yoongi won’t succumb to the temptation - of who his soulmate is. Because, no matter what, Seokjin is his soulmate, his other half, his, his, his, his (not his, not his, not his) . The more he says it, the more he’s bound to believe it.
But he’s not delusional. He knows he’s being selfish, but isn’t it even more selfish for a system like this to exist? Or is it the flaws of the human mind? Is it the fact that this algorithm has calculated the perfect person for him, or is it the fact that humans will give up the prospect of hardship and natural love all for the promise of an easy and joyful life?
Whatever it is - isn’t it funny? How the one person he loves enough to give up the world for, isn’t his? Isn’t the one he’s supposed to raise kids with and live happily ever after with - Seokjin, after all these years and after all that they are and have become, has never been his in the first place.
(For the shortest moment, Yoongi thinks about who they could be. His soulmate. If they’re as beautiful as Seokjin, if they’re as prideful and stubborn as Seokjin, if they’re as wonderful and magnificent as Seokjin?
Or. Perhaps - they’re nothing like Seokjin. They don’t have Seokjin’s cold beauty, his loud laughter, his shameless pride - and maybe… Just for a moment, Yoongi lets himself think that maybe that’s who he was meant to be with.
Someone that’s just not Seokjin.)
Yoongi doesn’t want to explore the unknown. He’s happy with what he has - who he has. And besides, no one else can see his string, especially not Seokjin - so where’s the harm in it, if Yoongi just, forgets all about it?
It can be months, or years until Seokjin gets his string. But every single second up to that, Seokjin doesn’t have to know a thing. Yoongi can continue loving him, and pretend that everything’s fine. He can avoid following the string - there’s no rules saying he can’t avoid his soulmate for the time being, there’s no rush, and there is absolutely no need.
For now, Seokjin is all his. And Yoongi will give all of himself to Seokjin - if it means that, for the months or years to come, Seokjin will stay by his side.
All he wants is to hold on to Seokjin a bit longer, before Seokjin follows the gleam of the red string, and follows it into the arms of someone else.
-
This isn’t the start of a love story and it most certainly isn’t the end.
It is just the story of two people who love each other in all the ways they shouldn’t - and it’s the story of a person who refuses to let go.
It’s not a love story at all, really.
Just a story, not so different from the one you already know.
----- interlude
you can spend your lifetime loving someone who isn’t your soulmate, but it only takes one moment for you to realize that they will never be the one, and when this moment comes, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
-----
(i love you, Yoongi whispers to Seokjin every night. i love you the most.
i know, Seokjin says, a small smile on his lips, i love you too.
And all Yoongi can think is - no, no you don’t hyung, but for however long you will let me, i will love you until i can’t anymore.
And Yoongi falls asleep that night, dreaming of the person that tugs at the end of his string.)