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The Nogitsune was defeated almost two weeks ago now and yet, Stiles wasn't okay. Scott hadn't come to check on him, not that he can blame him, he was grieving over Allison, his messages with Isaac and Kira had been stilted at best and Malia had been avoiding him completely.
He hadn't seen Derek since the last fight, hence why it was so surprising to him when he found the older man lying on his bed on his return from having a shower.
He couldn't help but freeze under Derek's intense stare, he knew he wasn't looking for a good reason, stiles had lost a lot of weight, with panic attacks happening often and throwing up being a usual side effect of that.
Not to mention the large dark bruises only partially hidden by the white fluffy towel that were caused by the number of times he'd fallen out of bed in the midst of a bad dream.
"What do you want Derek?" Stiles had said with a sigh turning his back to the other man so he could put some clothes on.
"I didn't see you today," Derek replies quietly, almost cautiously, sitting up from his reclined position. Stiles looked at the man in confusion, he had no idea what Derek was talking about and was starting to panic about if he'd missed something important.
"The wendigos that attacked? didn't Scott call you?" the werewolf had asked before seeming to come to a realisation. What realisation, Stiles couldn't say. "Stiles, when was the last time you talked to, well, anyone," Derek.
Stiles can't help but marvel at the look of worry tugging at the other man's features. worry for him. "I dunno, school?" Stiles allows himself to reply, voice coming out scratchy from issues other than the nightly blood-curdling screams.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk, just that the screaming along with the panic induced vomiting had made it too painful to, so painful that he often couldn't bear the pain until later in the night, just in time for his next nightmare.
Even Derek had winced at the sound of his damaged vocal cords. "what happened? what the hell's a wendigo?" Stiles asks, voice a whisper to limit the pain, and doing his best to hide the wince.
"Lay down, I'll tell you about it," Derek had said, getting up from the bed and pulling the sheets back. He was using a soft and caring voice, one that hed only heard directed towards Cora and victims they were trying to help. It was what Stiles had declared his 'I don't pity you I want to help you because I care' voice. He can't help but obey, almost like a beta to an alpha's instructions.
He slipped into his bed and watched as Derek pulled his desk chair over beside the bed to sit next to him.
He leant over to put his hand over Stiles' and Stiles felt the relief almost instantly. Derek then went on to tell the younger boy about how they were attacked at the school by wendigos, malevolent, cannibalistic, supernatural beings that were once human, he tells him how everyone had met at the school library to research the creatures. "Why didn't they tell me? I saw them at school today?"
"I don't know stiles," Derek says watching as tears begin to flow from the teens' eyes, tears that he doesn't even bother to try to hide.
He watches as the boy in front of him stays, open and vulnerable in front of him, not turning away, not pulling away from Derek despite the fact that he had long since stopped drawing pain. He watched as the boys' soft sobs slowed and his face relaxed as he drifted off to sleep.
When Stiles next wakes up, its with his nose pressed to Derek's hair where the older man had fallen forwards in sleep while still sitting on the chair.
It was the only time he'd slept without a nightmare other than the nights his father had fallen asleep by his side. Since his father had to start working more to make up for the depletion in deputies, it was the first time in almost an entire week that Stiles had woken up without the dreaded feeling of not being in control of his body. He can't help himself but to lift his hands and count his fingers before looking over to the clock to check the time.
6:47 am.
You cant read the time in dreams, you have extra fingers in dreams, Stiles wasn't dreaming, things really were okay.
Well not entirely okay, but they weren't going to get worse.
Stiles learns that morning that Derek is actually a heavy sleeper, having managed to get up and get dressed without waking the older man, he manages until he trips over his shoes on the way out of the room. He hears the other man sit up instantly and turns to find him sitting to attention like a dog who's just heard the word 'walk'.
"Where you goin'?" Derek asks, voice still clouded and gravelly with sleep, Stiles roles his eyes, secretly appreciating Derek's protectiveness, it was better than nothing.
"school," he replies quietly, marvelling at his own ability to speak with far less pain than he'd been in for many mornings.
Derek stands and lifts his arms above his head to stretch before giving stiles a nod, "I'll drive you," he declares before pushing past Stiles out the door, running a hand along his back as he passes in a casual, almost domestic touch, one Stiles would expect from Scott or even his dad, not Derek.
Stiles doesn't even have it in him to argue that he could drive himself to school, he knew what he looked like, 'the walking dead' is how his father had earlier described him.
he wasn't entirely surprised when Derek drove off without a goodbye.
~~
Stiles was starting to feel like a background character in a movie, just in the scene, just doing what he had to do to seem normal, smiling at people as they passed, taking notes in class, doing the every day normal things. Sitting with his friends, watching as majority of them avoided eye contact and talked about how bad the school food had gotten and the weird change in weather, watching his very supernatural friends, who only ever talk about supernatural stuff attempting to talk about normal everyday things was actually pretty entertaining.
It was like they had lost the ability to communicate, it showed him just how little he really knew about the people he called his best friends.
Even Malia, his own kind of girlfriend? he wasn't sure, she had been avoiding him recently, following the lead of her Alpha, taking the side of the bigger dog out of simple survival instincts, he doubted she knew his favourite movie, or that he actually really didn't like mint-choc-chip icecream cause it tasted like sweet toothpaste.
It didn't take stiles long to get bored of the stilted conversations and silences that he previously would have filled and with that, and his previous thoughts in mind he pulls out his phone and opens up a contact that before the previous night, he wouldn't have even thought of opening.
{Stiles} What's your least favourite ice cream?
He, surprisingly, gets a reply within seconds and from there until the bell signalling the end of lunch their conversation goes as follows.
{Derek} Vanilla, it's boring
Stiles couldn't help a snort from escaping at that, although, he was surprised at the extra information offered up by the werewolf, even if it was minuscule.
{Stiles} Typical
{Stiles} mines mint ice cream, tastes like someone went 'hmmm how bout toothpaste but make it sweet
{Stiles} yucky, no thx
{Derek} ??? But it tastes good
{Derek} It's actually my favourite flavour
{Stiles} ok dude for starters, that's sooo not how u use a question mark? how the hell do you manage to use so many question marks and still not put one in the right spot
{Stiles} Secondly, youre lying surely
{Stiles} it's impossible to like that crap and still be a normal human being
{Derek} dont call me dude
{Derek} and im not human
{Derek} and it's nice, refreshing, reminds me of summer
{Stiles} all ice cream reminds me of summer and is refreshing, it's ice cream
{Derek} Aren't you at school?
{Stiles} woah
{Derek} what
{Stiles} just revelling in the correct use of a '?'
{Stiles} u ruined it tho
{Stiles} It was lunchtime
{Stiles} Gtg to Econ or coach is gonna make me do a million suicides, toodles
(read 2:00 pm)
Derek had, of course, muttered the word 'toodles' to himself at least three times after reading it. Seriously, who says toodles?
Stiles and Derek didn't see each other for another two days when stiles found the man once again reclining on his bed. Stiles had continued to instigate random conversations in order to learn more about the other man, by the third day, Derek had begun to organise his day in order to allow that hour between one and two o'clock to be free so he could better partake in the conversations.
Stiles was consistently surprised by Dereks replies, the fact that he even did reply at all was something stiles was yet to get over, not to mention his instantaneous replies or the fact that he was in no way a dry texter like stiles had honestly expected.
Derek had once again appeared out of nowhere, presumably from the window while Stiles had been showering. He watched for a minute as the older man read a book he had pulled off of the nearby shelf and pretending to not notice stiles' entrance. Stiles takes this chance to change into his pyjamas.
When he turns around, he finds that Derek had once again pulled the desk chair over to beside the bed and pulled the covers back for him.
Once again slipping into bed and turning on his side to face the older man, Stiles waits for him to say what he came here to say.
"We think," He pauses as if preparing himself, "Kates back, the wendigos are under her control," Derek finishes not even bothering to hide how affected he was by the woman's resurfacing.
This causes Stiles to sit up, unsure of how to comfort the other man, his friend, he takes his hand, a similar way to how Derek had done the other night to drain his pain. "I won't let her hurt you again, you know that right?" stiles rasps.
"It's not me I'm worried about her hurting," Derek whispers back.
Stiles doesn't know how to reply so instead tries to take advantage of this new open Derek in what he hopes is not a negative way. "tell me about Laura, what was she like as a person? she had to be pretty funny to make up for your stoic-ness," Stiles asks with an attempted jovial tone.
"That's not a word," Stiles huffs in response, "and laura was, well she was a typical big sister," Derek says with a small smile. "She looked after me and could kick my ass in almost anything, not that I would have admitted that to her," this causes the two of them to let out a chuckle.
"You know, it sounds ridiculous but she was like a weird mix between Kira and Lydia? in the sense that she went from being kind and loving to sassy and hiding her feelings the next minute. it was kind of ridiculous,"
"She loved me though, always made sure I knew I was safe, even finding out what I did,"
"You mean how kate used you," Stiles corrects unbeknownst to him, in the same way Laura once did.
"Laura never blamed me for it, she even comforted me when I had nightmares about the fire, I'd go into her bed and she'd hold me, like when you're a kid and you have nightmares and sneak into your parents' bed?" Derek says with a fond smile.
"She sounds amazing," stiles whispers laying back down but instead of letting go of the older man's hand, he pulls it closer to his chest, cradling it between his two hands.
"You two would have gotten along so well, she was a chatterbox like you, loved Starwars, made me watch every one of the movies and constantly went on about how StarTrek was so much better, even though the Starwars special effects were so much better," Derek says earning an "mhm" in agreement from Stiles.
Eventually, Stiles drifts off to the sound of Derek's soothing voice and when he wakes up again, finds the werewolf missing. The only suggestion that he hadn't jumped back through the window was the leather jacket still sitting on the back of the desk chair.
Stiles still had to double-check that he wasn't still dreaming or stuck in his own mind, the Nogitsune had made him feel as though he was fine too many times for him to genuinely believe he is straight away any more. After counting his fingers and reading the time, He gets up to get ready for school.
He didn't worry about where the werewolf had gotten to knowing he would turn up to get his jacket eventually. He was, however, surprised when he began to smell food knowing that his father would have only just gotten back from working a six till six shift.
He made his way downstairs to find his father sitting at the kitchen counter eating pancakes while Derek stands at the stove with another pile of pancakes on the plate next to him.
"Don't worry, they're heart safe," Derek says loud enough for stiles to hear interrupting his 'domestic Derek Hale' themed train of thought.
Stiles then watches as his father walks past Derek, clearly dreary from sleep deprivation, puts his plate in the sink and then pats Derek's shoulder and says "Thanks son," before leaving the kitchen.
As he passes stiles, he says, with a smirk, "Morning son," and Stiles replies "night dad,"
Later that night, when his father had woken up and stiles had gotten back from school, he would ask his son if he had dreamt Derek Hale making him pancakes at seven in the morning or if that actually happened. For now, though, he doesn't acknowledge the presence of the older man.
It's not until he sees the lunch packed for him sitting on the kitchen bench that he speaks up. "you're mumming me," he says.
"I am not," Derek says, then to stiles raised eyebrows at the packed food, "I remember how bad school lunch was, and its just a sandwich anyway,"
Stiles can't help but smile at the older man. He wasn't sure how much more adorable said man could get and he found himself smiling to himself for most of the day.
Not that any of his friends noticed, they were too busy doing what they could to avoid looking at him.
other than the short conversation with Kira "hey Stiles, I didn't see your jeep, you need a ride home?" and his responding "Nah, I'm getting picked up, thanks though," he hadn't spoken to any of his friends that whole weekend.
He still didn't blame them, he knew it must be hard looking at the same face that hurt them, that killed people, even if the person wearing it was completely different.
Derek showed up again the next day, a Friday, looking... rattled, to say the least. "I saw her," he says with an ironic sort of laugh, "at the supermarket, she just smirked at me and walked past me,"
Stiles watches as he lays down on the bed knowing exactly why this was so hard to the werewolf, not only was it Kate, but she had walked past him, leaving her back open to attack from him showing she wasn't afraid of him, that he wasn't a threat. Stiles knew how degrading that could be to a werewolf, especially one who had relied on his strength for so much for so long.
It was like the animal kingdom version of getting Banksy to do a colour by number with Crayola pencils. It's belittling.
And so Stiles did what he did the previous nights, changed into his pyjamas and got into bed only this time he shuffled in further and left the blanket pulled back in invitation. He remembered what Derek had said about his sister, how she had held him and comforted him.
Derek looks surprised but after a moments pause, takes his shoes off, then his jeans, leaving him in his boxers and soft t-shirt before slipping into bed beside the younger man.
They lay on their sides facing each other for a moment before Stiles grabs Derek's hand, cradling it to his chest like he had the other night and begins to talk in a low gravely, already sleep laden tone.
"My mum used to tell me stories when I was younger, before she got sick. There was one, about a good werewolf and a bad one. The good werewolf was strong and powerful and had influence, the bad one was strong too, more strong even and everyone knew. They were all terrified of the bad wolf, scared they would come in and eat their children," Derek let out a chuckle, "Hey shush, my mum was trying to terrify me into being good, anyway, one day the bad wolf approached the good wolf's packs territory, toeing the borders."
"The good wolf lets it, afraid to instigate a fight they couldn't win. The bad wolf started to get cocky, venturing into the territory just a little more every day until one day when it was walking through the middle. The bad wolf was so cocky, thinking the only one who would dare challenge him would be the good wolf and that he could take him, that he didn't even bother watching his back or guarding himself from attack. He thought he could defeat any wolf the wolf who would try to attack. Except it wasn't the good wolf who attacked him, it was the runt of the pack, a young wolf who was more determined not to let his little sisters get eaten than he was cocky. The little wolf was much loved and did his best to defeat the bad wolf but it was obvious that he would fail,"
"Until the rest of the pack realised what was happening. The good wolf lead a team of his most determined wolves to fight the bad wolf who had already been weakened by the little wolf and together they took down the bad wolf and made sure it could never eat another child again,"
Stiles watches as the good wolf in front of him yawns. "Your mum made up good stories, good messages in them,"
"You're kidding, right? that story was terrible, terrified me half to death, I was so afraid a bad wolf would sneak in through my window and eat me, luckily for me I just got you, you would protect me from the bad wolf," Stiles whispers, his own eyelids drooping.
"Does that make me the runt or the good wolf in that situation?" Derek asks only to find that in the last few seconds since his last words, stiles had managed to fall asleep. Derek chuckles to himself but soon follows.
They wake up in the same position nine hours later and end up spending the entire weekend watching old Disney movies and each night, both going into stiles bed, Stiles always holding Derek's hand, lose enough for him to pull away if he really wanted to, but he never does. each night one of them opening up about their past as if they're taking turns, over the two days, Stiles's voice becomes less gravely as the nightmares decrease and those he still has are interrupted by Derek allowing for the young human to be able to speak almost painlessly and helping him get back, almost to his old self.
Anyone would think he was well on his way to being a normal human being, his weight had stopped its rapid decrease, his eyes were not quite as sunken as they once were, and some colour was beginning to come back to his cheeks. But both the sheriff and Derek knew better, they'd seen the younger boy counting his fingers and reading the nearest labels far too many times a day to believe he was even close to okay yet.
Derek only leaves once to get some changes of clothes and stiles clears a drawer for him.
The only time their schedule is interrupted is when Sheriff Stilinski calls the both of them down for dinner. That wasn't the most shocking part of the interruption, the most shocking part was how little the sheriff attempted to interrogate the older man he knew was sharing a bed with his teenage son, instead, sticking to safer topics like sports and somehow managing to coerce the werewolf into coming over for the next baseball game.
Both son and werewolf were surprised by how much trust the older man had in them, the sheriff, however, was just happy to hear his sons voice again and didn't want to do anything to jeopardise that.
it all came to a head that next Monday when stiles finally built up the courage to ask about the Kate argent and co situation, despite having been filled in by Derek.
He wasn't expecting to be asked how he even found out about that, and by his best friend too.
"I have my resources," He'd replied. "why didn't you tell me?"
He felt like he might have an idea of how Scott had felt when he- when the Nogitsune stabbed him in the stomach when Scott replied with "We just didn't want to involve you in this so soon after, you know,"
Dread and realisation washed over the human. He did his best to breath feeling a panic attack arising. "You don't trust me," His voice came out strong despite how shakey he was feeling, despite how his heart felt like it was racing out of his chest.
He watched as Scotts eyes grow wide as he tried to dispute it. But he couldn't. If it was just about the trauma, surely Lydia should have been left out too, Hell, Scott's first true love died in his arms, surely that was pretty traumatising.
Without listening to the rest of the young werewolf excuses, Stiles turns on his heel and walks out, fumbling with his phone to text Derek asking him to pick him up.
Within twenty minutes, the two were laying once again in bed, this time with stiles being clutched to Derek's chest as Derek does his best to use pressure to help suppress his nervous system.
Once stiles had finally calmed down, he pulls away a bit, just enough to look Derek in the eye.
"They don't trust me," Stiles says, eyes welling with tears. "No one trusts me,"
"I don't trust anyone," Derek says causing Stiles to let out a sad sigh and reply with "I know,"
"No Stiles you don't, I don't trust anyone, laura was the only person I could trust for years until now, Stiles, I don't trust anyone but you,"
"You trust me?" Stiles asks eyes wide.
"With my life, with everything, how could I not. Your friends are idiots," Derek says pulling the younger man closer and pressing his lips to his forehead.
This was the moment that Stiles realised why it meant so much to him that Derek trusted him, he was in love with the older werewolf.
Over the next few weeks, the two fell into a sort of pattern, They would fall asleep together, Derek would make stiles breakfast and lunch, drive the man to school, stiles would ignore his former friends, former pack, he got to practice using his spark to hide his scent and heartbeat from the others, something Scott had never let him try because "what if something bad happens and we can't find you,"
Derek, on the other hand, encouraged him, with the exception that he only do it where there's little chance of being kidnapped.
Derek would then pick him up from school and the two of them would talk about anything from their traumas to their favourite foods, often bickering with each other about something or another, on and off through dinner and until they fell asleep together once again.
Slowly, stiles got better, bit by bit. He never completely recovered, still having to stop and count fingers most days and having nightmares most nights, but he was doing well all considering.
Unbeknownst to him, he was also helping Derek almost as much as the werewolf was helping him, providing him with a safe place, a den and a family to go with it. Two very important things to the werewolf.
It wasn't until the two of them were attacked by a rogue omega while on a walk in the preserve that Derek realised his anchor was no longer Anger but instead, the man he was protecting.
It took him a while longer to come to the realisation as to why.
The two of them were sitting in bed with stiles legs wrapped across his lap while they debated, not for the first time, sweet versus sour lollies, Derek preferring sweet of course.
Stiles had started laughing at a point Derek had made when it hit him like a brick. He froze, staring at the plump lips belonging to the boy in front of him.
He wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, he had always known the younger man was attractive but if he had to hazard a guess as to when exactly he fell in love with the boy, he would have to assume it was some time between Stiles holding him above water for two hours and that moment a few weeks ago that the boy had so innocently invited the wolf into his bed.
If he was being honest with himself, Derek would have realised it had started back around the time Stiles saved his life from being shot with a wolfsbane bullet. Derek had, of course, suppressed the memory of how oddly appealing Stiles defiance and attempt at fearlessness had been.
"Are you alright there sourwolf? You look like you just found out that bees can detect bombs," Stiles says with a nervous chuckle that snaps Derek back to reality.
"I'm in love with you," Derek blurts, "Wait bees can what?"
"Bees, what? forget about the bees, what did you just say?" Stiles says eyes wide and smile growing.
Derek takes a deep breath, "I love you," he says this time with more certainty.
"Well then, it's a good thing that I love you too," stiles says, grin having now expanded to full capacity and joy seeming to explode from the boys' pores. Another werewolf would point out that Derek wasn't fairing any differently.
"good,"
"good," stiles replies, both men grinning at each other like loons.
"Wait, did you say bees could detect bombs?" Derek asks in mock seriousness, Stiles laughs before launching himself forward and pressing his lips to the older mans surprisingly soft ones.
Later Stiles would realise how much sense that makes as werewolf healing obviously applies to lips too.
Derek did eventually get the "I have a gun and know how to kill a werewolf and make it look like an accident" talk from the sheriff and an only half-joking "if you hurt my best friend I will put you in the ground," from Scott when he and stiles finally made up.
Of course, stiles and Scott made up, It took them a while to get back to where they were back in the days of being known as "Testicle left and right," but the two were brothers in everything but blood, and siblings will love each other no matter the betrayal (within reason).
With Scott, the rest of the pack came too, they were never quite the same as a whole but they were a pack, they were family and, although it took them some time, they stand together no matter what.