Chapter Text
The heaviness in Adora’s steps might’ve paced a trench in the garden stone. She was the one most prone to nervous movement, and nervous didn’t even begin to describe the bugs crawling inside of her and eating her insides.
She, Catra and Bow were waiting in the back room of one of Bright Moon’s greenhouses, ears pricked to listen for outside movement. It wasn’t as though Bow had pulled the short straw; this was the best way they’d decided on showing the queen who’d returned.
Hours ago that morning, Adora and Catra came back from an impromptu vacation trapped in the Whispering Woods. It took them four weeks to return, but the outside world had moved on rapidly without them. Over a year had passed in real time, making them late soldiers of a war that was apparently already won.
So many questions.
“Can you stop pacing?” Catra had her hands tucked under her armpits and ears folded back. “It’s freaking me out.”
“Sorry.”
So much had changed… As Adora looked back at the other girl, her anxious heart filled with warmth. So much. There was such a new comfort found in the shape of her, but right then it didn’t help her feet want to pace, pace, pace any less.
It felt like someone was playing drums on her heart, coursing adrenaline with nowhere to go. The little back room they were in wasn’t necessarily a bad place to wait; it was filled to the brim with empty flowerpots, planters, bags of soil, and gardening supplies. It smelled like fresh life and offered at least a bit of comfort.
A small sound came from outside the door, and Bow perked up. “Oh, I think she’s here!” he whispered.
They each got quiet and leaned against the door to listen. Glimmer was out in the main room, waiting for her mother to get the note she’d left.
Meet me in the north greenhouse, the note said. They wanted to get the chance to explain things where they couldn’t be interrupted. There would be a lot to explain.
Windchimes tinkled when the main greenhouse door opened.
“Here you are, Glimmer,” Angella’s voice sounded sweet, and it made Adora nostalgic. “Imagine my surprise when a note joined me for breakfast instead of my daughter.”
They heard Glimmer’s hesitant voice in response. “I know, I, uh... Something came up this morning. And I’ve got someone you might want to see.”
“And here I was thinking you wanted to start our weekly tea parties back up.” The queen let out a light laugh. “Well? What is it?”
It was getting closer and closer to when Adora would finally get to see Queen Angella again. After a month—no, over a year. The queen was the closest thing Adora had to a loving mother, after Shadow Weaver… She was nothing like Shadow Weaver. Nothing at all.
Catra seemed to be feeling a different kind of anxiety. She’d begun trembling, whether that was from fear or just nerves or something else, who knew?
A soft knock on the back room door made all of them jump.
“You can bring them out now, Bow.”
Why am I so nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous.
Adora let the other girl hang back when she opened the door and stepped out.
There in the center of the greenhouse stood Queen Angella, her hands laced at her front and waiting patiently for her daughter’s surprise. She was as beautiful and ageless as always, like nothing had changed. Perfect skin, massive glowing wings folded neat against her back.
Angella’s eyes shifted to Adora, and for a second—only a second—her calm face displayed many emotions. Looking at her the girl before her, the sword still on her back. Like she was trying to decide exactly what to feel. Then it settled on disbelief.
“Adora,” she marveled, unclasping her hands.
Don’t cry, don’t cry. Adora stepped closer and dipped into an uncomfortable bow. “Your majesty.” What are you doing, don’t act stupid. “I’m really sorry that I—”
Suddenly, she was swept up into a hug tighter than even Glimmer’s. The scent of lavender and magic overwhelming her senses, immortal arms pinning her own against her sides. Breathing wasn’t an option, but Adora didn’t care.
Her resolve not to cry was broken almost immediately.
“I didn’t—” Adora began shaking, and the guilt of everything finally rose back to the surface. “I didn’t mean to abandon Bright Moon. I wasn’t—”
Guilt, guilt for leaving them, thinking she was dead, thinking they were alone. She abandoned them. Guilt, guilt, guilt. My fault.
“I’m sorry.” She had her eyes pressed closed against the soft material of the cape. Showing weakness, don’t—
“Don’t be silly,” Angella whispered, smoothing Adora’s hair down with a gentle hand. The way a mother might. “You’re back home where you belong now. Everything will be okay.”
The way a mother might.
The pain in Adora’s chest waned just a bit, and she took a step back to wipe her face off. She still hadn’t changed clothes, so the fabric of her sleeves were already crusted with dried tears and snot. More couldn’t hurt it.
“My, look at you.” Angella’s own eyes nearly looked like they were shining, too. She took Adora’s arms up in her hands and looked her over. “You’re skin and bones, darling. And these injuries, heavens. I’m not as verse as Castaspella, but I believe I sense some time magic on you.”
As astute as always. It might’ve been easy to forget all of the queen’s dealing with magic, so Adora wasn’t necessarily surprised that she’d sensed the time magic. That, and they clearly hadn’t aged a whole year.
How could Adora even start the story? When they shared it with Bow and Glimmer, it was a version spoke to friends on what happened and how they returned. For some reason, it felt different sharing the story with the queen of the rebellion she’d abandoned.
“We’ve much to discuss, I’m sure,” Angella said softly. She looked up at her daughter, who was standing a ways off. “Glimmer, you said ‘they’ earlier. Who else are you referring to?”
Oh boy.
Here it goes.
All of this responsibility fell back on Adora, and while she knew in her heart what was right and what deserved to happen, it wasn’t going to be easy in the slightest.
“Okay.” Adora tried not to look distraught. “We met here because we didn’t want the guards called, but, um.” She was very close to freaking out even more than she already was. “I brought someone with me. And I don’t want anyone trying to blast her away, either.” Her pointed gaze ran to Glimmer, who crossed her arms.
Nothing else needed to be said, apparently.
Out from the safety of the back room came Catra. She held herself small, fists balled at her sides. Even the expression on her face was not a usual one, but instead a mixture of shame and dread, covered up with attempted composure. This wasn’t the girl who’d last seen Bright Moon as a conqueror.
Before anyone could throw around more accusations, Adora stepped defensively to Catra’s side. “I didn’t get kidnapped, or brainwashed or anything, I promise. And our story is kind of long, but…” She looked at her partner, and just sharing a look seemed to calm her slightly. “Catra was with me the entire time.”
What else could she say without spilling the entire story, right then and there?
Queen Angella held her eyes on Catra for a long minute, staring so fiercely it was almost threatening. Almost, but not quite.
Then she let out a deep sigh. “We indeed have a lot to talk about.” Her brows seemed to knit when she saw all of the horrible burn scars covering Catra’s face and neck (without even knowing about the worse wound). “Perhaps in the infirmary.”
“Wait, what?” Glimmer did a bit of a double take and winced at Adora before facing her mom. “You’re not going to call for the guards? It’s Catr—”
“Daughter.” Angella’s wings flicked out. It was a brief but genuinely scary body language that served as a warning. “I’m no fool, nor am I a monster. We deal with problems as they come.”
“But—"
“You two.”
Bow and Glimmer stood straight, trying not to look over at the third girl because shame was written all over their faces for questioning why Catra hasn’t been dragged away yet. Unfortunately, Adora understood.
It still hurts.
“Will you please get brunch ready in the smaller dining quarters? It doesn’t look like they’ve eaten in moons.” Angella half-turned to the door. “And you girls, please come with me. We’ll see to it that you get the medical attention you need.”
Angella’s mood may have shifted downwards slightly upon noticing Catra, but her actions were still soft. She didn’t appear to be overly worried of a Horde soldier being inside Bright Moon. That must’ve been because the war was over…
Something that Adora still couldn’t believe. It might take her some time to adjust, but maybe eventually things will get better? Will feel better? And Catra…
After Glimmer and Bow hugged her goodbye (almost for too long) they left. Then the other three left the greenhouse.
As they walked, Adora wanted so badly to hold onto Catra’s hand, for both of their sakes. Catra seemed so uncomfortable, and though she’d said she was prepared for this, it was clear she was trying to be brave. Was it for Adora’s sake? For her own?
The unsettling feeling of an unknown future weighed heavily on Adora’s shoulders. Only time would tell the outcome.
It was good fortune that Catra and Adora were escorted to the infirmary by the Queen of Bright Moon herself. She’d instructed guards to completely clear the path to the infirmary, and for a private room to be waiting for them. As promised, the three of them were completely alone as they walked.
Catra began limping halfway through. The cold must’ve been brutal on her old wound; even Adora felt the effects of being out in the snow for as long as they were. Her cheeks, nose and ears felt both numb and tingling painful at the same time. Probably not a good thing, she thought.
In their portion of the medical wing, there was only one healer permitted, and when she came in, her eyes widened the size of dinner plates.
“You understand why we must keep this to ourselves for now,” Angella told the doctor firmly, and eased the girls onto separate beds in their private room. “Please do not share this information until we choose to announce it.”
The doctor shook her surprise and curtsied. “Yes, your highness.”
Without waiting further, they got to work. It felt weird putting her sword down without a second thought, but it came easily.
Angella waiting outside their room while Adora and Catra (begrudgingly) stripped to their underclothes. In the bright lighting of the infirmary, Adora was absolutely horrified to notice how visible the markings they’d given each other last night were.
How many people are going to notice this?? I’d better wear turtlenecks around the others…
Catra looked like she would rather be dead a thousand times over than to be touched by a stranger. Every time the healer lifted one of her limbs to examine, she’d hiss and try swatting her away.
“Could be worse.” The healer tilted Adora’s head upwards to feel around at her neck.
When her bruises were pressed, Adora sucked in a breath. This lady has to notice. There are bite marks all over my chest and neck. There is no way she doesn’t know. Maybe I should say something.
She kept her voice low so Catra didn’t hear. “Hey don’t tell anyone, okay?” Adora whispered to the healer.
The healer, helping her off the bed to stand on the scale, shook her head. “Nothing to tell, Princess. You must have been attacked by some sort of animal.”
Unfortunately, Catra must’ve heard, because she let out a snort she tried to be holding. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Catra, if you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to give the healer more work to do.”
They both began snorting, which turned into full-out laughter. It was freeing; Adora wanted to bottle the sunshine in her chest and keep it forever. To be able to laugh with the girl she loves in her home? Why couldn’t they stay like this?
When the basic vitals were taken from the girls, their healer laid Catra back and began examining all of the burn wounds in more depth.
Despite how staggering these wounds were, Adora was embarrassed to admit she forgot about them easily. Her partner was so strong and hated being overly cared for, so she had to respect her wishes. It’d been several weeks since she’d received them, anyway.
The healer pulled the lower edge of Catra’s undershirt upwards. “Would you please take your underclothes off for me so I can examine this better?”
“No!” Catra spat, yanking her shirt back down. “You already stripped me to my underwear, jeez.”
“She’s a healer, Catra. It’s not like she’s never seen someone naked before.”
“I’m not stripping in here.”
The doctor blinked. “I’ve got anesthesia if you’d like.”
“Ugh, fine. God dammit.” The words were disgruntle, but Catra didn’t seem like she wanted to fight too badly. She yanked her shirt off and threw it behind her (conveniently hitting Adora in the face), and then her undershorts. “My dignity is already gone anyways. What’s a pair of underwear to me now?”
It was really hard for Adora not to laugh again. She pitied Catra having to mourn her self-respect, but she was being such a child.
The healer had Catra lay back down and began examining.
“Stars…” Her word was soft. “These burn wounds are astonishing. I’m amazed that your thigh is healing as well as it is, without any previous medical care. It must have been a long several months for you.”
“Four weeks, actually.” Catra grit her teeth when the burn was touched.
The nurse made a face and clearly was trying not to ask questions.
This was a good thing. Honestly, she could’ve asked so many questions. About the marks all over their bodies, the scars. And the more obvious questions. They were fortunate she was probably under strict command not to ask questions, because there were a lot she could’ve asked.
The process took too long. Too uncomfortably long.
Adora was seriously considering running; she hadn’t been around more than Catra in a month and it was hard being stuck on someone else’s time. The few minutes turned into a good hour of poking and prodding. Some salve to their frostbite.
Luckily, after a while, something interrupted.
There was a knock on the door, followed by the queen stepping in. “How is it coming along in here?”
Quickly and discreetly, the healer whipped out gowns and covered the girl’s fronts with them to avoid the queen seeing anything she wouldn’t want to.
So she does know. Adora was mortified, but grateful that the nurse had common sense enough to do what she did. There would be absolutely nothing more horrifying than the queen herself seeing the nail marks running down her hips.
“Nothing too terrible to report, fortunately.” There was a chipper, but respectful tone to the healer’s voice. “They’re malnourished and underweight. Some fresh frostbite, too, but nothing else. The burn scars appear to be healing wonderfully, and with some regular stretches, this young lady should be good to go in no time.”
Catra grimaced at the term “young lady,” but didn’t say anything rude in the queen’s presence.
Angella looked relieved. Her eyes glistened happily seeing Adora again, but when she looked at the other girl, the expression shifted. “Wonderful.”
In her arms were clothes that she carefully handed to each of the gowned girls.
“I’ll have someone take your belongings to your room, Adora. And as for these clothes, they may not be perfectly your sizes, but we can get you something more decent tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. The thought of waking up tomorrow morning having Catra with her back home was…unbelievable. So much so that she didn’t even care that her sword was being taken from her.
After dressing (Catra looked adorable in her blouse and loose satin pants), they silently followed the queen down the halls to the dining quarters.
This all felt so weird. Catra so far wasn’t being treated as a criminal, and it was completely different than anything Adora would’ve expected. She was skeptical that things were going “well,” though. Any second she expected guards to come rushing in and handcuffing Catra and taking her away for the many war crimes she’d committed.
But no. Catra walked free, close next to Adora, as they continued. For now. Things were going to change, and she had no way of preparing herself.
For the first time that day, Adora wondered where Catra’s headpiece went. She hadn’t seen her take it from the property… It didn’t really matter, she supposed. That was then. This is now.
The private dining quarters were definitely more comfortable than the massive dining hall that’s usually shared for meals. It had a tall ceiling and hanging chandeliers, but was otherwise suited for a crowd of no more than a dozen. The table had stocked a meal that made Adora’s mouth water.
Best yet, her friends were already there at the table.
When they entered, Glimmer shot up and immediately clung to Adora’s arm. “Adora!! Are you okay? What did the healer have to say?”
Ignoring Catra’s eye roll, Adora tried comforting her friend. “I’m fine, Glimmer. We just…” Need some time to process things. “We just need to eat.”
After living off of fruit and fish, the full table of real food was almost intimidating. Shepheard’s pie, honey cakes, eggs baked into the center of potatoes. Everything sizzling fresh from the oven, spiced and buttered—it was hard not just shoving everything immediately into her mouth.
While Adora started immediately, Catra sat in her chair and stared at her folded hands.
“It might not be a comfortable time for you,” Angella sat at the empty seat next to Bow (who was stuffing his face), “but I think it would be best to have this discussion with food as a mediator. Adora.”
Adora, who was busy picking a piece of stray food from the front of her shirt, looked up. “Huh?”
“You’ve brought a senior officer of the Horde into our castle grounds and did not come to me straight away. I’m going to assume you have a good explanation for this.”
The accusatory tone of the queen’s voice made Adora sink. She wiped her hands on the nearest napkin and tried to format the speech in her head to make the best sense. “I do have an explanation. And maybe I should’ve gone to you first. I thought you were just going to throw Catra in a dungeon.”
“I look forward to hearing why I shouldn’t.”
Yeah, okay. That’s fair.
Here goes nothing.
For the third time that day, Adora shared their story. Again, leaving out choice details. Every time the events were recounted, they sounded less and less plausible. Maybe it was the repetition that number her mind to it all, or maybe because it really did sound insane.
Bow and Glimmer, eating through it, reacted the same way they did before, gasping at all the right times, sharing dramatic looks. They were very supportive, but it was hard really getting a laugh from their antics because of how nervous she was.
When the story was over, Angella folded her fingers underneath her chin. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds, which clearly made everyone else nervous, too.
Catra, who still wasn’t eating, had wrapped her tail around Adora’s leg underneath the table. She’s scared, Adora knew, but she didn’t know how to comfort her. Of course. This was a trial and Angella was deciding her fate.
When the queen across from them finally spoke, it was with careful words. “Under normal circumstances, my answer would be different, but these are not normal circumstances. I would be more comfortable with making a decision with the support of the council.”
Council?
“Ugh, but mom.” Glimmer dragged her hands down her face. “The council takes so long.”
Adora was about to ask what this was, but Angella kept talking.
“There are no rebellion leaders anymore, Glimmer. What happens will affect the entire city—potentially the entire world. I must get outside opinions before anything is set.”
“But they could be in prison for days.”
“Prison?” Adora unintentionally scooted her chair backwards. “We’re going to prison??”
“No, not you.” Bow reached over at patted his friend’s hand. “Just Catra for now.”
Was that supposed to be comforting?? This is all wrong. Adora put her arm across Catra’s chest and trying not to get too upset. “Look, I get it, but is there any other way to get this sorted out other than putting Catra in a dungeon forever?”
“Oh it’s not really a dungeon, just the spare room.”
“Glimmer.”
“—Am I allowed to say anything?”
The loud voices in the room quieted down when the only silent one spoke up.
Catra sat forwards. “If I’m the one getting locked up, at least let me say something.”
“Catra—”
“Don’t,” she interjected, holding up her hand. It was clear her words were meant to be bold and strong, spoken by a woman who knew what she wanted and was unafraid of taking this responsibility. But her eyes told Adora a different version of the story.
What was she going to say? Was she going to incriminate herself? Run away?
At that point, just about anything was possible. Tension lit up the room like static electricity. Everyone stared, and getting the chance of really seeing everyone together like this, Adora knew how strange of a situation they were in.
Say something, say something.
Catra flattened her ears back just a little under their gazes. “What an audience,” she tried joking, but it fell dry. “No? Okay. There’s just no point in arguing. I’m not going to fight.” Her eyes flicked over to Adora for just a second. The colors were stormy, but brave. “Nothing I can say would reverse the things I’ve done, so I won’t try. Whatever punishment you have, I’ll take it.”
Wait—
Panic flooded Adora’s chest so fast she shot up and nearly threw the chair backwards. “No, she doesn’t mean that, she—"
“Adora, stop, okay? We talked about this.”
Yeah they did, but this wasn’t…how Adora imagined it going. She thought Catra would try to defend herself at least a little, but she’s just willingly handing herself over? No, this wasn’t right.
It wasn’t going to happen like this.
“Queen Angella,” Adora knew her limbs were going numb, and it was a sign she might’ve been panicking too much, “I know that we were only there for four weeks, but so much has changed since then. You don’t know the whole story.”
“I thought you just told us the whole story?” Bow rubbed his forehead. “Was I not paying good enough attention…?”
“I—”
Glimmer leaned over the table towards her other friend. “And you’re sure you haven’t been brainwashed?”
“Enough.” Queen Angella stood, towering over them. The word was firm and loud, but not unkind. “I’ll say it again: I’m no fool. The council exists to make decisions like these, so there’s no use in chittering about it, you two.”
Glimmer and Bow huffed, looking at each other and up again at their third friend.
The only person who didn’t seem visibly terrified was Catra. Despite the body language of her swishing tail and flat ears, she had her jaw set with a determination it hadn’t before. Sure, she might’ve been worried, but this was what they’d talked about for the last week or two of their stay in the Woods.
Of course Catra knew what she was doing; she wasn’t stupid.
The queen and ex-Horde soldier stared at each other.
“Princess Scorpia had good things to say about you, Catra.” Angella sat back down, and the tension eased just a bit. “Strong. Intelligent. Fiercely loyal.”
Catra’s split eyes turned down into her lap and a flush of remorse hit her. Maybe she hadn’t had time to properly think about her old companions, because it seemed to affect her more than it might’ve. Something clearly happened between her and the old force captain.
“The council is composed of two dozen leaders, elders and princesses from every corner of Etheria that have come together in the time following the war’s end. The Rebellion was full of soldiers, but when the Horde fell—” Catra winced at the queen’s words. “—we needed more than just that.”
More than soldiers… This much was true. Especially for a handful of young adults that were talented but in no way able to decide the world’s fate.
Angella pushed a plate of steaming meat towards Catra to encourage her to eat. “The trial will probably only last two days—”
“—That’s so long—” Glimmer groaned.
“—but Glimmer’s aunt Castaspella knows several good truth spells.”
Ooh.
The truth spells. Even though Adora had never seen any done in person, she’s heard about their potency and their ability to drag the truth from anyone. She felt…kind of dumb for not thinking about it.
It was impossible for Catra to lie to the council under the spell. But… So much else could go wrong?
Yes, she’d been a commanding officer in the Horde. Yes, she tried to take down Bright Moon and the princesses multiple times. Yes, she was probably the most dangerous person in Etheria asides from maybe Hordak.
How was she going to escape that??
Thinking all that did not help Adora’s anxiety at all. Her breathing was speeding up, and she had no way of stopping it. Even her vision was getting blurry.
They’re going to take her away from me.
I did this to her. I brought her right into the arms of her captors.
What could Adora possibly say to make them know the Catra that she knew??
“Oh no, Adora.”
Without much warning, both of her best friends stood up from their plates and went around to the other side of the table to wrap their arms around her.
“It’s okay.” Bow smushed his cheek against her crusty hair. “Please don’t cry.”
When Glimmer hugged, it felt like she was breaking Adora’s emaciated bones. “Don’t cry. We’ve waited so long to have you back. We should be happy! I mean, just yesterday we…”
“No, no.” The white-hot pain in Adora’s chest was getting too much to handle. This made her senses in horrible overdrive, like her skin was covered in needles. She gentle pried her friends off her, stood up from the table, and backed up against the wall. “This is wrong. Everything is wrong. It’s not about me, it’s—”
“Hey, stop it.”
Adora’s fast breathing was cut off and she focused her vision to see Catra standing. These three people in front of her. They were her family. But how was this fair? Did she make a mistake in coming back? How could she even think like that?
Although she was careful not to display too much intimacy in front of the others, Catra ignored all the eyes on her and took one step closer. Into Adora’s panic bubble.
“How many times have I told you how annoying it is for you to be worried about me all the time?” she asked.
That’s an unfair question. “…A lot.”
“And how many times have you asked me if I want to come back to Bright Moon with you?”
All of the others—Bow, Glimmer, and Angella—seemed a bit wordless at the interaction, but it helped pretending they weren’t there watching them.
Adora’s stomach rolled, and she began wondering if eating so much rich food was a good idea. She had to really fight the urge to cling onto Catra. “…I asked you a lot.”
“And what was my answer?”
For just a second, Adora humored herself by thinking what would happen if she actually shared aloud how those conversations would go. Kissing and all. Why can’t they just skip all this nonsense and go back to being happy?
She knew she should have more confidence. It was hard, though.
Adora let out a sigh and did her best to force some of the anxiety down out. “This sucks.”
“Worst that’ll happen is I’ll be imprisoned forever and you can visit me on weekends.”
“That’s not funny.”
Catra, rolling her eyes, actually looked over to Bow and talked to him for the first time. “Are all princesses this neurotic?”
“Uh.” Bow was obviously startled at being spoken to. Then he laughed nervously. “I mean, sometimes? Glimmer does this thing when she’s upset—”
“Bow!!”
“Okay, is everyone done with brunch?” A clap to attention from Queen Angella made everyone reluctantly stop what they were doing. “There’s clearly going to be a lot to do today, and I regret we can’t spend more time freely like this.”
Panic time again. Quick as lighting, Adora snatched Catra’s sleeve. “But—”
She didn’t know the exact order of what happened next. She knew her grip dropped, and she saw the look in Catra’s eyes meant just for her. A scared kind of comfort, like she was worried about Adora more than she was herself. Glimmer and Bow had taken up Adora’s side again, too, and they all watched as guards came into their dining quarters.
The guards locked Catra’s wrists in behind her with circlets of metal and turn her away.
At the last second, Adora lunged forward and grabbed onto one of Catra’s cuffed hands. The difference in temperature was almost startling, with hers being hot and sweaty, and the other girl’s…as cold as ice, like all the blood had drained from her limbs.
They only got one chance to look back and lock eyes.
“See you soon, princess.”
And then their hands slipped away, Catra’s fingertips brushing against her palm. The feeling of nails and letting go linger long after the door closed behind.
They took her away.
She’s gone, they took her.
The darkness returned.
Immediate terror slammed back up into Adora’s throat, nearly blinding her.
When Angella left, Bow and Glimmer were still there by her side. Still worried from her previous reaction, they both seemed a little hesitant to touch her again.
“It’ll be okay, Adora,” Glimmer leaned her shoulder onto her. “You’ll feel better once you take a shower and we talk about it all.”
“Talk about it?” All Adora wanted to do was to slide down the wall and curl up into a fetal position. “I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it.”
I need to stop, I have to calm down. They were right; she’d got home in one piece, this should be a celebration. She’d known that bringing Catra to Bright Moon would be something like this, but still. Having it happen was terrifying, and she didn’t know how to properly deal without her.
They had been trapped together for a whole month and found such a comfort in each other’s arms. How could she be without her rock? What if she was going to be imprisoned?? Sure, Catra claimed to know what she was doing when she agreed to come back with her, but did she really know?
This freak-out must have been confusing to her friends. They’d gone a whole year without seeing her. Of course they wanted Catra to be thrown in the dungeon. They didn’t know.
They didn’t know how close Adora and Catra became. How much they relied on each other.
This was a good thing, Adora decided. She took a few shaking breaths. For now, no one should know about their relationship, whatever it was.
We can get through this. They’ve been through worse together. They made it that far.
“Let’s go back to my room, okay?” Adora took both of their hands. “This is a lot to take in at once.”
It must’ve been a lot for them, too. They were being so patient with her. She really couldn’t have asked for better friends. This all was just so much. She wasn’t prepared.
Back in Adora’s room, Swift Wind had made himself comfortable on a big rug in the center of the floor. When his three friends came back in, he immediately stood.
“Oh good,” he nickered, headbutting Adora and almost accidentally goring her with his horn. “You were gone for so long. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t run away again.”
They all waited for her…for a year. It was hard for her to be so happy to be back and upset at the same time.
Adora took her companion’s face in her hands. “Thanks for waiting for me, Swift Wind. I won’t go anywhere.”
“Do you have another party you’re going to today?” Glimmer asked, sitting cross-legged on a chair.
“Ooh, a party?” Talking about something lighthearted made Adora feel just a little better. “I didn’t know you were much of a partier.”
For some reason, this made Bow and Glimmer snort behind their hands. They raised their eyebrows at the steed, almost as if challenging, Yeah, Swift Wind. If the steed had been more in-tune to social cues, he might’ve reacted differently, but all he did was whinny happily.
“I’m doing birthday parties now!”
Birthday parties? Like the disaster they avoided at Frosta’s birthday, when the kid narrowly avoided getting a stick for a present? While Bow and Glimmer collapsed against each other snorting and laughing, Adora felt genuinely happy that her friend found something that made himself happy.
She noted the beads braided into his hair had a certain Perfuma style and wondered when she was going to see the other princesses. “I’m proud of you for doing that,” she told him, crossing her arms. “Staying busy. Are you enjoying it?”
“Oh yeah. Kids are great! Last week, one stuck a lollipop in my tail, and it took days to get it out.”
“Oh, that’s…fun.” Adora tried not to make a face. “You’re going to one now?”
“Yup! I’ll be back in a few hours.” Trotting happily on his hooves, Swift Wind got up onto the balcony and looked back at them before spreading his wings. “Don’t go leaving without me again, okay?”
“…O-Okay.”
The beat of his wings as he left brought the reminder of guilt back into Adora’s stomach. Don’t leave without me. The days leading up to the escape were filled with impatience and excitement, but Adora felt like an idiot for not knowing all the difficult parts they’d run into.
I only need to deal with this uncertainty for a few more days, then I’ll know what to do. Whether that means Catra will be thrown into the dungeons of the Ice Kingdom or not.
No, she should be happy. Adora should be happy. She had her friends, and she…wished she had Catra, too. When did I become so selfish? Oh, how her chest ached.
“This feels so weird having you back!”
Adora nearly jumped straight out of her skin. Right, there are other people here. Becoming a hermit wasn’t a good look for her.
“It does feel weird,” she replied honestly, and looked back at her friends. They…looked so grown up. “I never thought you’d grow your hair out longer than it was, Glimmer. It looks good.”
Glimmer sheepishly fluffed the edges, which just reached her shoulders. “Thanks. I haven’t cut it since you disappeared. Stress, you know.” Her laugh fell very flat.
Gods, this was going to be awkward, wasn’t it?
How could this be so hard? They were her best friends, and they had been for years. The only thing that had really changed between them was—No, that wasn’t the right mindset. The only one who hadn’t changed was Adora. But…everything had changed.
She took a deep breath, shoving the nagging feeling down, and sat on her bed. “I’m sorry, guys. I really need to apologize. Nothing feels…right anymore.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” Bow’s voice was gentle. He sat with Glimmer on the bed, too, and they had the canopy overhead to hold the sound. “It wasn’t your fault. Magic is crazy sometimes.”
“Yeah, but I left you during the battle. If I hadn’t—”
“Adora. You were saving someone’s life. And you succeeded. Nothing that happened was your fault, and no one blames you for leaving.”
“But the war…”
“—is over. Adora.” Glimmer put her arm around Adora’s shoulders and could probably feel her shaking. “It’s been over a year since we’ve seen you last. All anyone feels is relief that you’re okay.”
Relief? Is that what she should be feeling? Yeah, probably.
This was going to be harder on her than she wanted to admit. They didn’t understand exactly what she and Catra have been through, but she wasn’t ready to exactly say what. For now, she had to live with them not knowing. That had to be okay with her.
It had to be.
Adora bent her head against Glimmer’s shoulder and immediately felt both of her friend’s arms wrap tight around her. “I’ve missed you guys so much.” One hand gripped Bow’s shirt and the other Glimmer’s. “Really. I never meant to make you worry like that.”
Bow’s scraggly chin hair scratched her forearm. “Worry is one word for it. So much has happened since you’ve been gone.”
“Okay, then.” Adora gave them one last squeeze before scooting back in bed and pulling her familiar blanket over her lap. “We’ve got a few days, might as well catch up.”
This had to be okay with her.
Bright Moon had been home for years. This is where her family was, her room, her favorite foods. She’d been a thousand years in the past and left them behind, but now she’s back…
Why is there such a hole in her heart still?