Chapter Text
Ritsu used to not speak, Mao knew that very well.
Mao remembered the first time he met Ritsu, the other would never respond to Mao’s questions. He’d just stare at the younger in confusion before looking down at his hands as if trying to find an answer but when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. It was such a strange experience, Mao remembered regarding it as that. Mao didn’t know what to do when he was met with an embarrassed face and silence.
Mao always remembered Ritsu looking at him apologetically whenever that happened. Mao could read Ritsu’s face enough to know he always felt sorry for not being able to reply.
At first, Mao was pretty annoyed by the lack of response. It always seemed like the other was ignoring him or mocking him but that wasn’t the case at all. Ritsu just didn’t know how to respond to Mao with his voice. It left Mao forced to read Ritsu’s face for answers.
It was a hard thing to get used to but Mao got the hang of reading Ritsu soon enough.
It took awhile for Mao and the other kids at the park to even hear the slightest bit of Ritsu’s voice. Mao remembered having friends huddled at the park, asking each other what Ritsu’s voice sounded like. No one could ever figure it out. They’d exchange answers among each other but none of them seemed right.
To them, Ritsu’s voice was the biggest mystery in the world.
“ Ah. ”
That was the first thing Ritsu ever said to anyone. It was to announce how he had to go back home early, he tried to frantically squeeze his voice out but nothing came until he decided to use a notepad to explain himself. A nifty thing Mao gifted Ritsu, it was a miracle that Ritsu lived so long enough without one. Mao used to wonder if that was why Ritsu left his house so rarely before Mao took him with him.
“‘I have to go home early. My grandmother is coming over,’ is what he wrote.” Mao had always been the one to read aloud or translate Ritsu’s messages. They were always in simple sentences as if he didn’t want to pressure Mao into reading difficult sentences. Though, now that Mao thought about it, Ritsu probably only wrote in simple sentences because that’s all he could manage to write without making a mistake. Mao wondered if both of the reasons were true.
Regardless, their friends always praised Mao for being able to communicate with Ritsu.
Mao remembered the next day, all of their friends would huddle in a circle and talk about Ritsu’s voice. It sounded soft, high-pitched and a bit like his own appearance―in a way, everyone didn’t believe Ritsu could possess such a voice. They would share opinions about how it suited Ritsu’s soft appearance. Mao liked it a lot. He couldn’t explain why. He just did.
If possible, he’d like to hear it once more.
Mao remembered the second time he heard it again. Ritsu came by to play. They were coloring pages as the radio played some pop tune that Mao couldn’t clearly remember. He just remembered Ritsu liking it a lot. Though he wasn’t able to hum it, the way he swayed his head to the beat, made it seem like he was .
“Hey, Ritchan―can I ask you a question?” Mao asked all of a sudden. Mao watched Ritsu stop coloring to look at Mao and tilt his head in confusion. What’s the question? was written on his face.
“Can I hear your voice?”
Ritsu scrunched his face up, unsure what Mao’s request meant. He didn’t understand why Mao wanted to hear Ritsu’s voice. If anything, he felt uncomfortable when Mao came up to him. Mao didn’t mean to scare him. He was just curious about Ritsu’s voice.
“I wanna hear Ritchan’s voice,” Mao explained bluntly.
Ritsu wrote out ‘ Why? ’ on the page he was coloring.
Mao shrugged. He likes it, that’s all he could say. He wanted to hear more of it. He wanted to hear what Ritsu sounds like when he calls Mao’s name. He wanted to hear Ritsu say Mao or anything. He just wanted to hear Ritsu’s voice.
Ritsu lips thinned out. Mao wondered if Ritsu was going to flat out refuse. Maybe he wanted to hide behind Mao’s mother, trying to explain to her that Mao scared him. Mao didn’t want that. He didn’t want that at all. He quickly tried to explain that Ritsu didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, Mao wasn’t going to force Ritsu’s voice out of him. He’s not that kind of friend. He never wants to be that kind of friend. Especially to Ritsu.
“ Ma-kun .”
Mao stopped his rambling when he heard Ritsu squeak it out. To be honest, Ritsu’s voice sounded extremely weak when they were kids. It was definitely due to the fact that it was rarely used. It had no strength and it almost came off as more of a noise than actually saying a name. Had it not been Mao who heard this, someone might think Ritsu was just trying to make some weird noise with his voice as you could barely distinguish the syllables.
Even then, Mao was mesmerized by it .
Ritsu looked embarrassed, probably not wanting to say it again. Maybe he was self-conscious over his voice at the time. Mao never found out why he felt that way, to be honest. All Mao knew was Ritsu got Mao’s name wrong. Mao’s name barely sounded like his name. It was supposed to be Mao-kun , not just Ma-kun.
Of course, Ritsu felt embarrassed when Mao pointed that out. Ritsu didn’t realise that at all.
Ritsu tried to let out a voice, maybe he thought he could explain himself with his voice but that didn’t work out. Mao didn’t feel offended by the lack of one syllable in his name, actually. He just wondered if Ritsu even knew how to pronounce Mao’s name. Though it seemed like Ritsu was aware but he didn’t realise it. Mao didn’t want Ritsu to feel bad about it, though. It’s not really a big deal.
“Don’t worry! You can call me Ma-kun , if you want!” Mao quickly reassures, he clasps his hands tightly around Ritsu’s. Ma-kun , Mao will get used to the nickname. He knows he will learn to adore it as much as he adores Ritsu. It’s a nickname that Ritsu chose out for Mao so it was obvious Mao was going to accept it willingly.
Ritsu gives Mao a stiff nod as Mao smiled warmly.
Ma-kun . Mao liked it best when Ritsu called him that. No one else could call Mao that except for Ritsu, Mao made sure of that. He doesn’t know why, he just did. Maybe it was the fact that Ritsu used to reserve his voice for that name alone. It was only ever used to say Ma-kun . Mao liked that, for some weird reason. It seemed a little selfish, though.
Even when Mao started hearing Ritsu’s voice more often in public, it’s not like Ritsu got a hand of sentences as well as others. Some sentences need to be rearranged so people understood what Ritsu meant properly. Some were missing certain words, typically the keywords that would change the meaning of that sentence. Others were just complete gibberish to most. To put it lightly, Ritsu was just overall terrible at talking.
Somehow, just like when Ritsu didn’t speak, Mao was the only one who understood Ritsu’s nonsensical sentences. Just like when they were younger, Mao was praised for understanding Ritsu with very little mistranslation in between.
Mao never knew why. Maybe he just paid enough attention to Ritsu that he picked up what those gestures and words meant even if they’re all over the place. Maybe it was due to the fact that Mao has known Ritsu for so long, such issues were barely visible to him. Maybe it was both. Mao doesn’t know, really. He just never found out why.
Not like it mattered .
By the end of it all, Mao liked Ritsu’s voice. He liked it a whole lot . Ritsu could ramble his ear off and Mao would listen to it intently. Mao never cared much about the topic. As long as Ritsu wanted to talk about it, Mao was fine with it. Mao didn’t care about how many weird turns Ritsu’s sentences took. Mao didn’t care about how Ritsu would fumble over his words, as he embarrassedly looked up the pronunciation on his phone. Mao didn’t care about Ritsu losing the words to his sentences, telling Mao to give him a minute as he tried to recollect his words again. Mao could wait for hours till Ritsu gets it right, he didn’t mind at all.
Mao didn’t care about anything like that. All he ever wanted to do is listen to Ritsu’s voice.
To him, that’s all that ever mattered. What a funny thing, Mao thought as he watched Ritsu sigh to himself about work.
Though, Mao is aware that he isn’t the only one that likes Ritsu’s voice now. There are so many others who love Ritsu’s voice. Knights fall in love with Ritsu’s singing that can lull them to sleep. Ritsu’s friends enjoy the sound of Ritsu’s laughter as it rings loudly in the air. Ritsu’s fans cheer loudly when they hear him sing to them on stage. Everyone loves Ritsu’s voice now.
Ritsu’s voice is no longer something for him to keep to himself. It’s now for everyone to hear and appreciate. To say Mao isn’t jealous, it’s a bit of a lie but Mao can’t keep it to himself. That’s terrible. Ritsu’s voice is his own. What he wishes to do with his voice is not for Mao to decide at all. Mao is not that kind of person.
Even when he says that there are moments where Mao feels the same feeling he felt when he first heard Ritsu’s soft voice.
Though the scenery isn’t the same anymore, the feeling still remains the same. The way Ritsu comfortably rests his head on Mao’s chest as he carefully threads his hands with his, Mao can’t help but feel his heart flutter. Mao can feel Ritsu press his cheek deeper into Mao’s chest as Mao chuckles at the sight.
“ Ma-kun, ” Ritsu whispers that nickname like it was a secret between the two. That voice―Though the syllables pronounced are clearer than before, it still stumbles a little. The nickname still sounds like one noise, instead of an actual nickname.
Mao never understood why Ritsu insists on pronouncing Mao’s nickname like that, even though he has pronounced Mao’s nickname clearly before.
Mao frowns confusedly at Ritsu who giggled. Mao didn’t understand what was so funny about Ritsu mispronouncing his nickname. The entire situation felt oddly familiar to the second time Mao heard Ritsu’s voice. Ritsu’s favourite song playing in the background as Mao frowned at Ritsu. Mao exasperatedly sighs as he connects the dots.
“You didn’t realise it at all, didn’t you?” Mao asked as Ritsu laughed embarrassedly. He didn’t realise that mistake until Mao pointed it out again. Ritsu didn’t know he even pronounced Mao’s name as one sound. He thought he got rid of that habit a long time ago. Usually, he’s pretty conscious of his pronunciation but it seemed like Mao’s nickname is still the hardest one to properly pronounce. Guess old habits die hard.
Mao smiles warmly when Ritsu sits up and explains how he would admit that he’s very proud of how far his pronunciation on things has come. The fact that Mao’s name is the only problem he has, proves he can talk properly . No more for Mao translating everything. Ritsu looked smug as Mao laughed at the other.
Mao pulls Ritsu into a hug by tugging his waist. What a cocky brat, Mao thought as Ritsu giggled in his arms.
Both of them knew that Ritsu not needing Mao’s help in translating sentences is a fucking lie. Sure, Ritsu can talk better than before but just how many times have TV shows highlighted his mispronunciations? It’s almost like mispronunciations is his gimmick on variety shows. Sometimes, if a host gets curious, they’ll bring it up when Mao comes on those same variety shows. They always note that Mao’s pronunciation is a lot better than Ritsu’s.
Ritsu whines how that’s because Mao started talking at a younger age than Ritsu. It’s only expected that Mao was going to be better than Ritsu at talking. It’s unfair to compare the two, Ritsu whined at Mao who laughed amusingly.
There’s a small moment of silence. It looks as if Ritsu was contemplating something important. Mao wondered why.
“ To be honest, I like Ma-kun’s voice a lot .” Ritsu says that like an embarrassing secret. The way he gets embarrassed as he fumbles over his words, it makes Mao’s heart skip a beat. The way Ritsu tries to piece words together as he tries to describe Mao’s voice, it falls all over the place. He’s just too embarrassed to properly explain it. He just likes it a lot. A whole lot .
Mao’s laughter causes Ritsu’s face to turn red. He’s embarrassed and he’s fumbling with his voice, unable to voice anything out. He struggles to squeeze something out but it’s a mess. The normal kind of mess Sakuma Ritsu is to him. Mao apologises with a kiss, he didn’t mean to embarrass Ritsu. That wasn’t his intention. Kinda .
“ I like your voice too―There’s nothing I want to hear more than yours, Ritchan. ”
Mao kisses Ritsu as he wraps his arms around Ritsu’s waist. The way he giggles with red-tinted cheeks, Mao wonders if saying that shakes away any insecurity Ritsu has regarding his voice. Though Mao will never understand why Ritsu is embarrassed about his voice, he’s more than happy to shower Ritsu in compliments about it. Mao will whisper everything he loves about Ritsu’s voice. Even if it leaves Ritsu red to the tip of his ears, Mao will adore Ritsu’s voice more than anyone else.
After all, Mao's favourite voice in the world has and will always be Ritsu’s
.