Chapter Text
"I swear, Falco…if you die on me, I'm gonna kill you!"
The avian fighter named Falco Lombardi smiled weakly at his vulpine friend. He had never seen him look so angry before. "Say, Fox," he said, "if I die, doesn't that take the fun out of killing me?"
Fox McCloud just growled and quickly checked his Blaster. "Look… All I want is for you to stay alive, okay? We need you for this fight. Just a little bit more and…maybe we can finally go home."
"Thanks for making me, your favorite Star Fox flyboy, feel so important."
"Now's not a good time for that cheeky atti—"
"EEEEE! WATCH OUT!"
A bundle of brown fur collided into Fox and Falco and knocked them onto the ground. Two seconds later, the air above the Star Fox teammates exploded with an intense flash of red light. Fox, feeling slightly unnerved at the thought of having nearly been caught in the explosion, turned his head to see a panicked monkey with a partially scorched cap. "Diddy…?"
"Fox! Falco!" wailed Diddy Kong as he danced around in a terrified frenzy. "You coulda died if I hadn't come running!"
Fox chuckled a little in spite of himself. He remembered that he had been admonishing Falco about dying just a few moments ago. "Thanks for the save, Diddy," he said appreciatively. "Now let's kick some Tabuu butt! Falco, are you just gonna stay there and let us do all the work?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The avian jumped to his feet. "There's no way I'm missing out on this. Let's go!"
Another explosion rocked the ground. A blue-haired swordsman with a tattered red cape slowly stood up, his attack having missed its target. He coughed several times and hefted his golden-bladed longsword over his shoulder. "This isn't going to work…"
A spherical fighter whose face was concealed by a metallic mask glanced at him. "Ike," he said slowly, his deep voice somehow cutting through the din of the battle, "what is the matter?"
"I can't find any openings," Ike grumbled. "It's like Tabuu has eyes on the back of his head… Any tips, Meta Knight?"
"We must carry on" was Meta Knight's simple reply.
In another area of the battlefield, a blond-haired boy shrieked when a trophy of a boy wearing a red cap thudded onto the ground next to him. "Ness?! Oh…no, no, no," he groaned to himself. "I can't rely on Ness all the time! Now I need to do something. Come on, Lucas, you can do it. You won't run away like a coward this time, right? PK Freeze!"
The cold, blue light of Lucas' PK Freeze reflected off of the many trophies that dotted the dark, glass-like landscape.
A green dinosaur let out a pained screech as Tabuu repeatedly struck at him with a chain of light. Finally overcome with agony and exhaustion, he keeled over and transformed into a trophy. Then the Subspace entity turned to a Hylian swordsman and rapidly slashed at him while he was distracted by the dinosaur's transformation, and he, too, turned into a trophy. The swordsman's trophy landed next to that of a Hylian princess wearing a flowing white and lavender dress. Tabuu suddenly lifted a hand to block the explosion of a large snowflake. As the ice and mist quickly dissipated, he looked below himself to see Lucas, who was horrified that his attack hadn't worked. A malicious smile crossed Tabuu's face, and he swiftly dived down toward the helpless boy.
"Noooooo!"
A Hylian boy in green leaped into Tabuu's path, taking the attack that had been meant for Lucas. Already injured by the Subspace entity's previous blows, the boy was instantly transformed into a trophy.
A yellow, mouse-like Pokémon gnashed his teeth in anxiety. "Pika…!"
The bounty hunter next to him aimed her Varia Suit's arm cannon at Tabuu. "LUCAS, RUN!" she shouted.
Lucas immediately scurried out of the way as a Charge Shot slammed into Tabuu's side and knocked him toward Fox, Falco, and Diddy Kong. All three fighters charged at him with their weapons drawn, screaming bloody murder. Lucas threw a grateful look at the bounty hunter. "Th-thanks, Samus! And thank you, Toon Link," he whispered remorsefully to the Hylian boy's trophy. He quickly darted away.
Samus sighed in relief. "Well, at least Lucas is okay. How are you doing, Pikachu?"
Pikachu lifted a paw halfheartedly. "Pika-pika…"
"Hey!" Samus knelt down and patted his head. "I know you're really tired. So am I. We all are. But we need to do whatever it takes to stop Tabuu. We're the only thing stopping him from converting the entire universe into Subspace. And…" She bit her lip as she saw the numerous trophies lying all around her and Pikachu. "…And we need to fight when our friends are unable to."
The Pokémon gave her words some thought, and he finally nodded. Then he squealed in fright when he saw a large explosion envelop Fox and Diddy Kong, instantly turning them into trophies. Samus exhaled quietly when she saw Falco narrowly escape the blast and roll onto the ground, relatively unharmed.
An F-Zero pilot sprinted across the glassy field, agilely dodging the three-bladed boomerang that Tabuu had thrown at him. The boomerang looped around and chased after him, but it was stopped by a missile that flew out of nowhere and crashed into it, exploding on impact. The pilot leaped up and toward Tabuu and drew his right fist back.
"Falcon…PUNCH!"
His fist shot forward and connected with Tabuu's chest. Flames in the shape of a falcon erupted from his body and engulfed the Subspace entity. As Tabuu squirmed about in the air, the F-Zero pilot returned to the ground and saluted a man who wore a navy blue bandana and gray Sneaking Suit and was carrying a missile launcher. "That save was solid, Snake!"
The mercenary called Solid Snake returned his Nikita missile launcher to wherever he kept all his equipment. He smirked and replied, "But that pun, Captain Falcon…was awful."
A bipedal, jackal-like Pokémon with blue and black fur appeared at Snake's side. "Save the wordplay for later, you two. There aren't many of us left to—"
At that moment, Tabuu roared and Samus cried out in pain. She landed at Captain Falcon's feet. Pikachu cried out in alarm and rushed to her side. As he and Captain Falcon helped support the bounty hunter, Tabuu bellowed again. His telepathic voice rang out across the battlefield.
"FOOLS! The likes of you can never hope to defeat me!"
Despite knowing the danger he and his friends were in, Snake couldn't help but whistle quietly. "Damn. He sure doesn't look like he just took a…what did you call it…an Aura Storm to the face." He nudged the jackal-like Pokémon, who timidly smiled back. "How did you do that?"
"…Something just…snapped," said the Pokémon with a small and nervous shrug. "I mean, Tabuu didn't just try to trophify you. He tried to kill you."
"I wonder if you can do it again. That would be incredibly helpful to all of us right now."
"For that to happen, I'll need Tabuu to drop you into a bottomless pit again."
"…C'mon, Lucario, there's got to be a better way than that."
Samus groaned and stood up on shaky legs. A thin crack ran through the green visor of her helmet. "Tabuu's anger…is fueling him," she whispered, pausing every so often to catch her breath. "Even if he has been severely weakened by Lucario's attack…he's still a very dangerous opponent. Probably even more so than before. When your emotions overwhelm you…you can't think rationally. And so…you let it all out."
"Here he comes!" Snake suddenly said.
Right after the mercenary's warning, Tabuu dived at the small group of fighters and prepared to strike them down with a strange, purplish blade that pulsated with dark energy. Meta Knight's indigo cape transformed into a pair of bat-like wings, and he flew into the air and blocked the Subspace entity's blade with his own sword, Galaxia. Tabuu's empty black eyes met the knight's fierce yellow ones.
"NOW KISS!" hollered Captain Falcon with an excited whoop.
Just as he had expected, both Tabuu and Meta Knight turned to gawk at him in confusion and disbelief. Lucas, who was a short distance away, took this opportunity to launch a PK Thunder at Tabuu. At the same time, Lucario used Aura Sphere and Pikachu used Thunder Jolt. Meta Knight saw the three incoming attacks and escaped right before they hit Tabuu.
"What the hell was that all about?!" demanded Samus, staring at Captain Falcon, who was laughing loudly.
"Listen, Sammy!" he told her. "Everybody knows the best way to distract super evil bad guys is to make jokes like that!" Then, in a much quieter voice, he whispered, "Frankly, I was hoping they'd actually do it…"
Samus, infuriated at his immaturity, slapped him across his face.
The swordsman called Ike came running to join the other fighters. "Just a few more hits should do it," he said. "We don't have any time to revive the others, but I'm sure we can be successful."
"Any ideas?" questioned Captain Falcon.
Ike was about to answer when he noticed the F-Zero pilot's swollen left cheek…which bore the imprint of a certain female bounty hunter's hand. He just shook his head and replied, "We need to attack as a group. That way, whenever Tabuu focuses on one of us, there will be two or three more people he can't keep track of."
"And how exactly will we do that?"
Falco crash-landed on top of Ike, preventing him from answering. "Preferably in a way that doesn't involve me goin' solo like I was just now!" he shouted as he helped the swordsman up. "You really gotta keep track of what's going on outside of your discussions." He pointed upward. "Watch it—our friend's on his way!"
Tabuu descended from the black sky with a purplish energy blade in his right hand. Everybody ducked or jumped to dodge the attack. Lucario and Meta Knight chased after Tabuu to the other end of the battlefield and began to exchange blows with him. Lucario struck at the Subspace entity from afar, while Meta Knight remained close and stabbed and slashed while skillfully sidestepping Tabuu's moves.
"Falco, Samus, try shooting Tabuu from here to temporarily paralyze him," said Captain Falcon. "Then we can hop in and start beating him up without letting him escape."
Samus chuckled and said, "So you can be a leader, huh?"
The pilot rolled his eyes. "Just do it!"
His annoyed tone made Samus laugh again, this time with Falco joining her, but then the bounty hunter raised her arm cannon and the avian brought out his Blaster. Together, they fired their weapons. A small blue burst fused with a much larger and more powerful energy ball and raced across the field, headed straight toward Lucario, Meta Knight, and Tabuu. Lucario, sensing the incoming energy ball, grabbed Meta Knight's hand and pulled him out of the way. Tabuu glanced to his side and was caught by surprise by the blast from Samus' arm cannon and Falco's Blaster. From a distance away, Captain Falcon fist-pumped in triumph as he watched the Subspace entity freeze in place.
"Pika-pikachu!" Pikachu praised Samus and Falco, both of whom smiled in response.
While Tabuu was unable to move, Meta Knight closed in with Drill Rush and proceeded to hack away. Lucario nimbly dashed behind Tabuu and slammed into him with Extreme Speed before pounding him repeatedly with Force Palm.
Ike gestured toward the small knight and the Aura Pokémon. "I think that answers your question of how we will attack as a group, Captain Falcon."
Captain Falcon smirked and immediately went to join Meta Knight and Lucario. Ike, Samus, Falco, Pikachu, and Snake followed him. After a moment of hesitation, Lucas ran after them and left behind the trophy of his good friend, Ness.
Just then, a behemoth of a man came charging in and started pummeling Tabuu with punches and kicks infused with dark magic.
"Good of you to come, Ganondorf!" said Falco a little sarcastically.
Lucas smacked him with his stick. "Not now, Falco!"
Ganondorf made no response as he continued to rain blows on the one whom he had spent far too long serving. He was absolutely livid.
All the fighters attacked Tabuu with whatever strength they had left. Falco zipped around with Falco Phantasm and fired away with his Blaster. Samus punched and kicked and tossed bombs and fired missiles. Pikachu used his various electrical moves. Lucas tried to aim for the right person with his stick and PSI moves. Ike bellowed loudly and slashed from all directions.
"This should do it!" Lucario roared, holding his paws before himself. "Take this! AURA SPHERE!"
A massive ball of aura, the essence of all living things, erupted from the Pokémon's paws and struck Tabuu's frozen body. All of the other fighters quickly jumped away to avoid the bright blue flames. Lucario's eyes flashed with a furious light as he channeled all of his remaining energy into his attack. The pain that he had accumulated during the battle increased his power by several times.
" The cornered rat will bite the cat …" murmured Samus in awe, quoting something that she had heard Snake say some time ago. The light of the aura shone brightly in her blue-green eyes.
Everybody was so focused on Lucario that they failed to notice something that Snake had. The mercenary cursed the moment he realized it. "Lucario, stop!" he shouted to the Pokémon. "It's a tr—"
KABOOM! A massive explosion threw all the fighters onto the ground. Lucario's attack was abruptly cut off, and to the Pokémon's surprise, Tabuu was nowhere to be seen. Samus' Varia Suit fell apart, revealing her slim, Zero Suit-clad figure. "Dammit," she whispered, her last line of defense now lying in pieces around her.
Snake swore again and clenched his fist as he lay on the ground in pain. "I hate to admit it," he grumbled. "I really do. But Tabuu is one smart bastard."
"…Wha… What happened…?" groaned Lucas, his ears still ringing from the blast.
"Tabuu was distracting us," Snake replied. "And what better to use than his own self…"
As he was speaking, the air above him and the other fighters seemed to shimmer and vibrate. Tabuu suddenly reappeared, hovering several feet over the battle-ravaged ground. His arms were folded and he had a triumphant smile on his face. His dark eyes remained blank.
"You truly are quite unobservant," he said softly.
Meta Knight grunted with some effort. "You were just… toying with us."
"An interesting way to put it, but perhaps I was."
"That…thing we were—" Snake paused when Lucario suddenly began to cough violently. He crawled over to the Aura Pokémon and watched him carefully. "That thing we were attacking… It wasn't Tabuu at all. It was just—"
"An illusion," Tabuu cut in. "A body double. A trick of the eye. Whatever you would like to call it."
"It just…wasn't the one we were aiming for, eh?" mumbled Falco.
"He lured all of us in so that he could catch every one of us off guard," said Snake. "And it went just as he'd intended. So much for attacking as a group…"
Ike smiled bitterly at this. "I'd say we still made a valiant effort."
Tabuu's dark eyes shimmered wickedly as he slowly unfurled his colorful, ornate wings. "I never took you for an optimist," he said to the swordsman. "It is rather fascinating to see the kinds of creatures you become when you are faced with death." He then pointed at Lucario, whose coughs had finally subsided and left him breathless. "And you. After wasting all of your energy on something that never existed…how do you feel?"
"Shut…up," muttered the Aura Pokémon through gritted teeth. Too weak to support himself, he lay on his side, unable to make eye contact with Tabuu. "Don't…mock me."
Out of the corner of his eye, Lucas saw Ganondorf, who had been lying on the ground behind Tabuu, struggle to his feet. He gasped when the Gerudo king suddenly launched himself into the air and grabbed the Subspace entity's arm.
Tabuu started to say, "What are you—"
Tendrils of white lightning shot out of Ganondorf's hand and electrified Tabuu. The Subspace entity let out an elongated howl that made everyone's hair stand on end. Ganondorf's glittering gold eyes flared like those of a feral beast, and he gradually brought Tabuu closer to the glass-like ground. Tabuu's wings flickered. The other fighters remained where they were, too exhausted to move, let alone help Ganondorf. Then the Gerudo king's body flashed brightly, and Samus gave a tiny "oh!" of surprise when the light faded to reveal a trophy of the large man.
Falco grunted in anger and confusion. Ganondorf had probably been their best bet at defeating Tabuu, and he had just been trophified. "Ganon…why…?"
Tabuu recovered from the Gerudo king's assault faster than anybody had anticipated. "I appreciate the effort…" He regarded the trophy with a calculating eye. His wings gradually became more corporeal as he slowly hovered around the trophy like a lion circling its prey. "But in the end…you failed. Look at where this has brought you!" In a mockingly somber voice, he said, "You were a fool for believing that the efforts of simply one being would have been enough to defeat me, your former master. Had you not dared to betray me, perhaps you could have made great progress," he finished with a harsh laugh.
"Well, I daresay we were already making great progress without your intervention, thank you very much!"
Two massive shapes loomed out of nowhere and latched themselves onto Tabuu.
Captain Falcon was astonished. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "It's the Hands! "
The left hand, Crazy Hand1, had all five of his fingers wrapped around Tabuu's body; his brother, the right hand called Master Hand, had a fistful of the Subspace entity's multicolored wings, preventing the latter from unleashing any Off Waves to take down the exhausted, ragtag band of fighters.
Tabuu was shocked and enraged. "Wh-what is the meaning of this?!" he demanded. "Release me at once!"
"Ooh! Ooooh! Let me think about it." Crazy Hand paused momentarily, as though he were deep in thought. "Ummm, NOOOOPE!" His high, grating voice, which normally irritated anyone around him, somehow comforted the broken fighters lying on the ground. It gave them hope. "Let's do this, Mastah!" he yelled at the other hand.
"And do this we shall," replied Master Hand as he maintained his hold on Tabuu's wings. "But we now have the fortune of being allies with these very perseverant fighters here…so perhaps we ought to cooperate." Then he cried, "Now, everybody! NOW!"
With a sudden surge of newfound energy, Ike rose to his feet and began to run. The golden, arrow-shaped blade of his sword, Ragnell, emitted orange sparks as it dragged across the glass-like ground. Tabuu screamed, but Master Hand and Crazy Hand made sure not to let him retaliate in any way. Ike leaped high into the air, and for a moment, it appeared as though the laws of gravity had no effect on him.
All of a sudden, Tabuu managed to break free of his restraints, hurling Master Hand and Crazy Hand onto the ground as he did. "I WILL KILL YOU!" he roared as he flew after Ike. There was an air of desperation to his usually calm voice. He spread his wings. "I WILL ERASE YOU FROM THE FACES OF ALL THE WORLDS!"
"Think again!" spat Ike in reply as raised Ragnell high above his head. "None of us can ever forgive you for what you've done to our worlds…our homes…and our friends! The only one who will be erased today is you!"
Without a second thought, Meta Knight swung Galaxia downward and launched a Sword Beam2 at Tabuu. Samus aimed her gun, the Paralyzer, at the Subspace entity, and pulled the trigger…and so did Falco on his Blaster, Captain Falcon on his pistol2, and Snake on his missile launcher. Pikachu used Thunder, Lucario used Aura Sphere, and Lucas used PK Fire. All eight attacks struck Tabuu at once, immediately stopping him from letting loose an Off Wave. As Tabuu hovered in place, dazed and rendered immobile by the fighters' surprise attack, Ike raised Ragnell high above his head.
"GREAT…"
Ragnell's blade, blessed by a goddess from Ike's world, glowed brightly with holy power. There was an odd, golden light in the swordsman's eyes.
"…AETHER!"
With a single swing, he brought the blade down on Tabuu. The golden blade, now shining white, cut deeply into the Subspace entity's body. Tabuu howled and writhed as Ike kept a firm grasp on Ragnell's grip. Then, abruptly overwhelmed with fatigue, the swordsman let go of his sword and fell freely toward the ground, only partially awake. Thinking quickly, Crazy Hand swooped under Ike and caught him right before his body could hit the ground. Tabuu screamed one more time, his body contorting with agony and flashing pale gold, and the fighters watched as his distorted figure quickly faded into nothingness. One final shockwave rippled across the battlefield and beyond…and all was quiet.
With bated breath, everybody waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And—
"AHH!" shrieked Crazy Hand in fright when Ike's sword plunged down and buried its blade in the glass-like ground just a few inches away.
With a labored grunt, Meta Knight struggled to his feet. Cautiously, he approached Ragnell and placed a hand on the flat of its blade. He stepped away from it when he felt a strange tingle travel through his arm. "Did we do it?" he whispered, the sudden silence deeply unsettling him. The Subspace entity had finally been defeated for good, it seemed. "Just…like that?"
Samus wanted to wonder, too, but at that moment, she looked toward the sky and was shocked to see a tiny black hole where Tabuu had been. With every passing moment, it grew larger, and she could feel its pull strength increasing. "Hey!" she shouted. "We need to get out of here before this place destabilizes too much!"
"I'm getting the Falcon Flyer," said Captain Falcon, springing to his feet as if he hadn't just fought an extremely grueling battle against the very embodiment of the realm of Subspace.
"Already one step ahead of ya," Falco told him before gesturing toward the Arwing that had just landed nearby. The F-Zero pilot just shrugged and continued to call for his Falcon Flyer.
"All right, everyone—let's untrophify those trophies" ordered Snake. "And when Olimar's awake, tell him to get his rust bucket!"
With a flurry of activity, everybody rushed to summon their aircraft and revive the fallen fighters. They hurtled around as fast as they could to untrophify their allies and inform them of the current situation. Master Hand suddenly remembered about Ike's sword, and he yanked it out of the ground with a quick movement of his index finger. Levitating a meter above the ground, Ragnell followed Ike into Samus' Gunship as Crazy Hand and Pikachu hauled him inside.
"Go, go, go!" squawked Crazy Hand.
Within just a few minutes, every fallen fighter had been untrophified. The small astronaut named Olimar felt mildly offended when he learned that Snake had called his precious Hocotate Ship a rust bucket, but he disregarded it and called for the ship. About ten fighters gathered around it when it landed.
"You're carrying an awful lot of cargo in here, Cap'n," a blue hedgehog remarked as he peered inside the Hocotate Ship.
"Then get rid of it!" Olimar replied impatiently. He grimaced when he felt the wind grow stronger. "We need to fill this thing to max capacity! The cargo is the least of my worries right now, and it should be the same for you, Sonic!"
Sonic gave him a sheepish look as he entered the ship. "Okay, okay! Temper…"
Master Hand flew over all of the fighters, his pure white form standing out against the rapidly darkening sky. "There is but one way to escape this realm," he said, his resonant voice ringing across the battlefield. "Follow me and Crazy Hand. Do not lose sight of us!"
"Easier said than done, but all right," muttered Samus. She yanked back on her Gunship's thrust lever. "Hang on, everyone! This is gonna be a bumpy ride!"
Master Hand and Crazy Hand shot off, and the fighters' starships were quick to follow. Lying on the floor of the Gunship, Ike blearily opened his eyes to peer through the green-tinted windshield.
I hope…that's the last of this place…that I'll ever see, he thought weakly, and as the realm of Subspace gradually vanished into a pinpoint of light, he closed his eyes again.
Three months later…everything was back to as it was before the Subspace Incident began.
Subspace. It was a chaotic dimension that contained nothing but smoky black and purple skies, glass-like surfaces, and a multitude of creatures that were part of the Subspace Army, the population of which was thought to be infinite at best.
Just three months ago, they had united into a team that had fought against the leader of the Subspace Army, Tabuu.
Before this battle, they had faced countless enemies from common Primids to vicious Greaps. When they first set their eyes on Tabuu, they hadn't expected to be almost instantly transformed into trophies—a process known as trophification—by the deadly Off Waves that emanated from his vivid wings. Fortunately, a few of them were able to regain their normal forms, thanks to a special brooch designed by a penguin king from Dream Land. The surviving fighters traveled through a vast maze of worlds that Tabuu had created, collecting the trophies that were their fallen allies and clashing with their Subspatial clones, the sinister Falses.
At long last, everybody rejoined as a single team and faced Tabuu again, this time with several more allies who had previously been tricked by Tabuu into following him and doing his dirty work—a Koopa king, a Gerudo king, a greedy treasure hunter, and two telepathic hands. They thought they were prepared this time.
These thoughts were dashed as Tabuu once again trophified them with his Off Waves.
Or rather…he would have trophified them if it hadn't been for a blue hedgehog who had arrived at the last possible second. He tore through Tabuu's wings at supersonic speed, rendering him unable to reduce the fighters into helpless trophies. The fighters now had another chance to take a stand.
The ultimate battle was a hellish one. Many fighters were trophified as it dragged on. But when they were about to drop down with fatigue, one fighter—a blue-haired swordsman who wielded a golden longsword in one hand—plunged the blade deep into Tabuu's chest, killing the Subspatial entity.
Tabuu and the Subspace Army were finally defeated. Everyone was free to go home.
But…where was home? They had all been away from their homes for so long that it was nearly impossible to return to their normal lives prior to the Subspace Incident, as the long-lasting conflict with the Subspace Army had come to be known as. Some cautious fighters believed that they would jeopardize the safety of their worlds if they returned—even though the Subspace Army's leader was gone, there was no telling if the Army itself was still out there, and if some of it was there, it would definitely target the fighters and their homes.
Then one of the two hands suggested creating a new home for all of them in a peaceful world. There, the fighters could stay together and train with each other in case a threat like the Subspace Army ever reared its ugly head in the future. After some consideration, everybody agreed to this proposal.
So the fighters traveled to distant worlds, restoring whatever the Subspace Army had destroyed and introducing new friends to old friends, as well as letting everybody know that they would be gone for a while to keep all the worlds safe from harm. Eventually, they returned to their new home world, where the two hands had finished their project.
"Welcome to the Smash World," one of the hands told them proudly, "and to your new home."
They had constructed a grand estate that became collectively known as the Smash Mansion, located in the heart of a vibrant town called Smashville. The Smash Mansion—as well as Smashville itself—became home to the courageous fighters who were now no longer known as merely a large, ragtag band of fighters.
They were the Super Smash Brothers.
Now it was Sunday, the last day of another long week, and the Smashers were certainly feeling it. Because there were no Brawls scheduled for the weekends, everyone was relaxing in various places around the Smash Mansion. Some were watching movies in the movie theater, others were playing video games elsewhere, and still others were sleeping soundly in their rooms. A few Smashers were shopping or simply wandering around in Smashville Plaza.
In the case of Falco Lombardi, he was sitting on the railing of the balcony on the front face of the Smash Mansion. The balcony was located on the fifth floor, making it the highest point of the mansion if one didn't count the roof3. The avian Smasher allowed his legs to dangle freely in open space as his cerulean eyes focused on the evening sky. The sun was slowly setting, painting the sky with shades of red, yellow, blue, and purple.
"What's up, Falco?"
Falco turned his head slightly to see Fox McCloud stepping through the open sliding glass door that connected the balcony to the rest of the fifth floor. Fox shut the door to keep out any critters that would likely cause Princess Peach's fear of bugs to kick in at a very inconvenient time. "It's not like you to gaze at the sky like that," he said, chuckling lightly.
In response, Falco just sighed and crossed his arms. "Well…I've just been thinking," he said thoughtfully. "We fought and defeated the Subspace Army three months ago. It's only been three months…"
Fox's grin faded a little bit. "Oh…yeah…" he said. "You were one of the lucky few to stay untrophified until the very end. That explosion caught me and Diddy completely off guard. Remember that?" He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. "Trophification is…weird…"
"Oh, for sure. But honestly, I still can't believe we managed to pull it all off!" remarked Falco with a snort. "I mean…Tabuu was…something else entirely. Those freaky wings and…" He shuddered, unable to continue.
"Well, it's a good thing he's not coming back anytime soon." Fox joined his friend on the balcony's railing. "I'm really grateful for everything, you know," he then said very truthfully. "While I was fighting…I felt like giving up. It seemed like whatever I was doing just wasn't having any effect on Tabuu." He smiled ruefully. "I was such an idiot back there. You can't deny it."
Falco suddenly stared levelly at the vulpine. "Call yourself an idiot one more time," he said very seriously, "and I will kick you right off this balcony."
Fox just laughed. "All right, I'm sorry for doubting myself!" He looked toward Smashville Plaza and could just make out the shapes of Marth and Ike walking along the path that led back to the Smash Mansion. He noted that Ike looked very well, a vast improvement compared to just a few weeks ago. The Crimean swordsman, who had dealt the final blow to Tabuu, had suffered the some of the most injuries out of all the Smashers and had been in a coma for a while. After finally waking up, the swordsman recovered at a miraculous rate and was out of bed within a week. "Huh… Just look at that, Falco." The vulpine pointed toward the two swordsmen. "Ike doesn't look like he'd fought and defeated the leader of the Subspace Army less than a hundred days ago."
"I know, right?" Falco greatly respected the swordsman for his strength and charisma. From what he had heard, Ike was the leader of a large group of mercenaries in his homeland and was known to be very kind and humble. "I can't really believe it, either. It's a good thing Crazy Hand caught him after he fell. He would've been more hurt if he hadn't."
"That glove can be full of surprises, eh?" said Fox with a smirk. "He's weird, but I know he's a good guy deep down."
Falco frowned.
"What's with that look?"
"…Crazy Hand…and Master Hand, too." The avian gave Fox an unsure glance. "They're hands, aren't they?"
Fox was startled. "What? I think they're gloves. I thought they were gloves ever since I first saw 'em."
"That can't be right. I swear they're just hands."
"What do you swear by?"
"My instincts? My gut? The fact that their names even include the word 'Hand'?" Falco shrugged. "Look, I just know they're both hands."
"Well, my gut tells me that they're gloves," Fox defended himself.
"Bet you 100 G that they're hands."
"Deal."
The two Smashers shook hands.
"Noooo, Kirby!" screamed Princess Peach desperately. "Those are all the pies for dessert!"
As usual, however, she was too late, and before she knew it, the pink puffball had already swallowed all twenty pies whole. "Yum!" he exclaimed. "It's apple pie. My favorite!"
Peach sank to the ground, looking dismayed. "Oh, Kirby," she moaned, "that's the fifth time in two days that you've done this! Those pies were supposed to be today's dessert for everyone, not just you! Can't you be a little more considerate of others?"
King Dedede, who was sitting on a stool in one corner of the kitchen, laughed jovially. "Don't even try to talk him out of it, princess!" he said. "He can't help it. He was born like that!"
Meta Knight continued to silently read today's newspaper. He turned a page.
"I can't believe you and Meta Knight were able to deal with him for more than three years, let alone three months!" said Peach as she glared after Kirby, who was happily skipping out of the kitchen in search of more unguarded food. "I have so many questions. What made him this way? How does eat so much? Why does he eat so much? How big is his stomach?"
"Well, I did say he was born like that," King Dedede said. "His stomach probably doesn't even have a definite size. It's just a big black hole that can take in anything that isn't too heavy or too big for Kirby's mouth." He looked a little dreamy as he remembered the old times. "I used to see him swallowing stone blocks like they were nothing! That's his way of getting rid of obstacles."
"…He…eats them…?"
"Yup!"
"…Can't he just…run around them or something?"
"I'll have ya know that Kirby ain't a fan of running! And it's not just because he's kinda on the wide side!"
"…So he just…eats…the obstacles?"
"Yup!"
Meta Knight turned a page.
Peach looked shocked, if not a little frightened. "…Oh my. That's…pretty scary, actually."
King Dedede nodded in agreement. "Yeah…nothing gets in his way. Put a bomb in front of him and he'll just eat it and swallow it. Put some fire in the way and he'll just fly over it. Put a load of enemies in his way and he'll just eat one and spit him out to knock out the other guys like they're a bunch of bowling pins. Crazy, huh?"
"You seem to be very familiar with Kirby."
"Ohoho! Well, uh…" The penguin blushed a little and scratched the back of his head. "…since I used to be one of his biggest enemies, I've witnessed his abilities firsthand, wayyyy before the thing with the Subspace Army. Wanna hear something that'll blow your mind? One time, he swallowed part of a hot-air balloon and got some cute little form that let him fly faster than the speed of sound4!"
The Mushroom Kingdom princess shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe it… It looks like I still have a lot of things to learn about your friend."
King Dedede's face grew dark. "I'm not really sure if you can call him a friend of mine, even after all this time," he said in a quieter voice. "He and I really started off on the wrong foot. So did Meta Knight."
Meta Knight turned a page.
"And what the heck is so darn interesting about that newspaper, Meta?" the penguin king suddenly asked. "You haven't spoken a single word yet."
Meta Knight turned a page. Then he got up from his chair and walked out of the kitchen.
King Dedede made a face at the small knight's retreating figure. "Some fun guy you are, eh?" he commented, sounding slightly peeved. "You haven't changed at all, I swear. Hey, get back here! I'm not done talking to you!"
Without turning to face the penguin or even moving his yellow eyes away from his newspaper, Meta Knight calmly said, "If you wish to continue your discussion, please move on to a topic of much more significance."
Peach giggled as King Dedede began to whine about how whatever he was talking about was already full of significance because he was the king of Dream Land, and anything kings talked about was significant.
"By the way, Princess," Meta Knight then said, still looking at his newspaper, "consider putting some hot peppers in one of the deserts tonight. Perhaps this will at least bring a temporary solution to your problem." Before Peach could say anything, the knight was already walking away.
"…Hah… Peppers…"
The princess saw that King Dedede was snickering. "Sometimes, I really hate that guy," he said, waving to where Meta Knight had been a few seconds ago. "I mean, just check out that snobbish attitude! But in the end, the things he says usually turn out to be pretty life-saving."
"…Usually?" repeated Peach with a questioning tone.
The penguin didn't answer the princess' question as he then said, "Put some peppers in one of Kirby's pies for tonight. That should teach him not to eat up our dessert without permission." He cackled at his brilliant plan.
Peach chuckled again. "Good idea!" She opened her cookbook. "All right, for the pie's crust, we'll need…" She began to read the ingredients. "…two cups of flour, one teaspoon of salt, three-fourths of a stick of unsalted butter, five tablespoons of apple cider, one egg, milk, and sugar and cinnamon mix. For the filling, we'll need two tablespoons of lemon juice, one-third cup of white sugar, one-third cup of brown sugar, one-fourth teaspoon of salt, three tablespoons of flour, half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder, eight McIntosh apples…" She slammed the book shut and smiled. "…and let's not forget those twenty red-hot chili peppers!"
The Pokémon Smashers' room was awkwardly silent. That was because Pikachu and Jigglypuff had, for the tenth time in just a week, decided to attempt to make a pyramid out of playing cards.
The scene looked the same as it did last time and the time before that and so on: Red the Pokémon Trainer—the only human member of the Smashers who came from worlds inhabited by Pokémon—was lying on his bed, writing a new entry in his journal. Ivysaur was next to Red, watching him write. Charizard was sitting in a corner of the room and eating an entire roast chicken. Squirtle lay spread-eagled on the ground, fast asleep. Lucario, also asleep, lay on the floor with a board on his stomach, using Squirtle as a pillow. The board was covered by a thin blanket and had a nearly-complete card pyramid sitting in the center. Pikachu and Jigglypuff, who had two cards in her stubby hands, were carefully examining the pyramid. They had made much more progress than they had last time, which surprised them somewhat. The card pyramid now only needed two more cards to top it off…literally.
Jigglypuff handed her cards to Pikachu. The Mouse Pokémon took them and quickly glanced down at Lucario. The Aura Pokémon hadn't moved at all ever since he allowed the two younger Pokémon to use him as a table. He was one of the few Smashers who anyone could trust with practically anything, from keeping extremely personal secrets to acting as a live target for target practice. Pikachu had no idea how Lucario was able to deal with all of this, but he didn't want to think about it right now because he and Jigglypuff had a card pyramid to finish.
The pyramid was about two feet tall and currently had a single card lying flat at the top. To finish it, Pikachu had to set down the two final cards on top of that card to form the tip of the card pyramid. The Mouse Pokémon felt extremely nervous—the cards were slick and his paws felt sweaty. One wrong move and the entire pyramid could come crashing down. Gulping audibly, he slowly moved forward with the two remaining cards. He had never felt so skittish before—except perhaps during the Subspace Incident, but that was an entirely different situation. Back then, he had been forced to fight for his life and freedom.
Now, he was forcing himself to finish constructing a card pyramid.
The Mouse Pokémon cautiously stood on his toes and raised his paws. He was shaking uncontrollably, and so was Jigglypuff, who was watching Pikachu from the other side of the card pyramid. Red continued to focus on his journal, unaware of what was happening at his bedside, and was now writing about what he had done this afternoon.
At that moment, Charizard finished eating his roast chicken and let out a tremendous burp. Red's eyes narrowed a little, while Ivysaur slapped the Flame Pokémon with one of his vines. Neither Squirtle nor Lucario made any movement, though the latter's left ear twitched. Instantly, both Pikachu and Jigglypuff froze, expecting the card pyramid to fall. Luckily, it didn't, so they let out quiet sighs of relief.
All of a sudden, Squirtle sneezed, making Lucario jump in surprise. Pikachu dropped his cards and nearly fainted when he saw the pyramid wiggle insecurely on the board; Jigglypuff's mouth fell open and she silently panicked. After what felt like a decade, the pyramid finally stopped trembling, and Pikachu and Jigglypuff breathed normally again. Somehow, Lucario remained sleeping, and after a few seconds, Squirtle fell back asleep. Soon, the Tiny Turtle Pokémon was snoring gently. Red kept writing, Ivysaur kept watching him, and Charizard wished he had another roast chicken because he was still very hungry.
The two remaining playing cards lay on the ground at Pikachu's feet. The Mouse Pokémon picked them up, looked at them, and shook his head. It was apparent that he didn't want to try putting the final cards on top of the card pyramid and risk knocking the entire structure over. And besides, it turned out that he was just a little too short. Jigglypuff sighed and, somewhat reluctantly, held out her hand and offered to finish the pyramid. Pikachu eagerly handed the cards over to the Balloon Pokémon, who then puffed herself up and slowly floated upward. She cautiously hovered over the pyramid…and that was when she noticed the two vines.
Ivysaur had quickly grown bored of watching Red—after all, it wasn't like he could read any of the stuff the Trainer was writing in his journal. He decided to entertain himself by tickling Squirtle's nose with his vines. The Tiny Turtle Pokémon didn't wake up, but it was clear that he was going to at any moment. Jigglypuff instantly deflated herself and returned to the ground, panicking again. Pikachu's eyes grew huge with fear when he saw how dangerously close Ivysaur's vines were to the cards that made up the pyramid. He quickly went to Red's bed and waved wildly at the incomplete card pyramid. Ivysaur just shrugged, but he stopped poking at Squirtle and withdrew the vines. Pikachu and Jigglypuff sighed in relief again. Jigglypuff steeled herself by inhaling deeply and inflated her balloon-like body to fly over the card pyramid. Pikachu's teeth rattled noisily as he watched her with some trepidation.
Then the door abruptly flew open, and several things happened at once.
Red finished writing and groaned when he felt the cramp in his hand.
Ivysaur attempted and failed to decipher his Trainer's messy penmanship.
Charizard regurgitated some half-digested chicken bones.
Squirtle sneezed again.
Lucario woke up with a start.
The board on his stomach tilted to one side and fell over.
The card pyramid was blown away by the rush of wind that the door had created when it opened, and all the cards lay scattered on the floor.
Pikachu and Jigglypuff's mouths fell open.
Solid Snake stood in the doorway of the Pokémon Smashers' room and looked very, very confused.
One glance at the floor was enough to tell the mercenary the whole story, though. He had heard rumors of two Smashers attempting to construct a pyramid out of playing cards for the past week. Lucario, who was now fully awake, looked at him and gave him a sheepish smile, while Pikachu and Jigglypuff's jaws remained on the floor. Snake looked at Lucario, then at Pikachu and Jigglypuff, then at the mess of cards, and finally back at Lucario. He placed his right hand over his eyes and shook his head in exasperation. Pikachu and Jigglypuff quickly scuttled out of the way of the formidable-looking man when he walked into the room and sat on the floor to face Lucario. Then he picked up all the cards and tidied them into a neat stack, which he split in half before giving one portion to the Aura Pokémon.
Charizard, in the meantime, had retched up a small pile of chicken bones, which Squirtle looked at with disgust. Ivysaur rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, as did Red.
Lucario placed the thin blanket back on the board, which he put over his legs. Snake nodded at him wordlessly and proceeded to build the bottom row of a card pyramid. Lucario constructed the next row, and Snake did the next one. They continued until all that was left were two cards that Lucario was holding. Neither of them ever paused or hesitated. Before either Pikachu or Jigglypuff could blink, the Aura Pokémon had already placed the final two cards on top of a single horizontal card, thus completing the card pyramid that the Mouse Pokémon and Balloon Pokémon had spent so long and tried so many times to create. Lucario carefully lifted the board from his legs and put it on the floor; none of the cards that made up the pyramid shook even once. Pikachu glanced at the wall to check to the time and was astounded to discover that Lucario and Snake had finished the card pyramid in less than three minutes.
Lucario stood up and stretched his arms, looking victorious. Snake clapped a hand on his shoulder. The Aura Pokémon smiled at the mercenary and, without saying anything at all, exited the room with him and went down the stairs to get ready for dinner. Both of them were grinning broadly.
Pikachu and Jigglypuff just looked at each other in disbelief, while Charizard coughed and spat out another bone.
Behind the imposing Smash Mansion was an equally impressive courtyard that included a large clearing for sparring. It was just a big piece of paved ground that was surrounded by some bushes. Master Hand, knowing that chatting wasn't everyone's thing, thought that a good way for the Smashers to know each other better was to have them occasionally have duels with one another. Link and Pit both found Master Hand's idea turned out to be a very good one, as only three months had passed and they were already very good friends, despite coming from completely different worlds. Ike and Marth usually joined the dueling sessions, but they were busy with some other things tonight, leaving the Hylian and the angel to themselves to spar.
"So, in your world…" Link swung his Master Sword at Pit, who nimbly jumped over it. "…the gods and goddesses are very casual?"
"Yeah, for the most part!" Pit sidestepped a thrust from the Hylian Smasher. He countered by firing an arrow of light that missed Link and dissipated into thin air. "Compared to your gods and goddesses…I'd say mine are way more easygoing."
Link ducked beneath the angel's bow to dodge an attack. "Hm. Interesting." He kicked at the angel and managed to score a small hit. Pit winced when Link's foot connected with his shin, and he quickly hopped away. "I'd like to visit your world someday…just to see what it's like."
"Same!" said Pit as he split his bow into two curved blades and slashed at Link, who parried with his sword. "Your world sounds cool! You know, I really wanna see a Deku Baba!"
Link grimaced when he heard this. "…Are you sure you'd be fine with extremely vicious carnivorous plants?"
"Ha! Totally!" Pit's happy tone was genuine. "In fact, I'm not worried at all. The only thing I'm not okay with is an Eggplant Wizard!"
Link paused to stare at the angel oddly. "…Eggplant…Wizard…?" he repeated slowly.
"Yep. Basically, it's a wizard who can…uhhh…" Pit lowered his swords and suddenly looked a little terrified. "Bad memories, Link… Ugh, I shouldn't have brought that up."
"But what exactly is an Eggplant Wizard?"
"This weirdo that can turn you into an eggplant. Seriously!"
Link just looked more puzzled. "What's an eggplant? Some kind of plant that grows…eggs?"
"What?! No! It's not like that at all!"
It was evident that the two Smashers' dueling session had ended, so they proceeded to leave the sparring area while continuing to chat.
"An eggplant is this oval-shaped fruit that has dark purple skin. Many are egg-shaped, so I think that explains the name. Supposedly, it tastes really good, but…personally, I hate it. Probably because of the whole Eggplant Wizard thing…" Pit poked at Link. "Hey, you know what? I'll go down to Smashville Plaza tomorrow to see if the market has any eggplants so I can show you one. I actually never bothered to check. But wow, Link—you really don't know what an eggplant is?"
Link shrugged and replied, "Well, I suppose you telling me about eggplants is like me telling you about hawk grass."
"Hawk grass? What's that?"
The Hylian Smasher smiled. "Case in point."
Pit rolled his eyes and groaned.
"Hawk grass is…well, grass for hawks," Link explained. "Summoning hawks, that is…and then telling them to do certain things for you, like retrieving items that you can't reach. Then there's another type of grass called horse grass."
Pit held up his hand. "Wait, lemme guess. Horse grass summons…a horse?"
"Spot on, Pit. But it only works on my own horse, Epona. I haven't yet had the opportunity to encounter a wild horse, so I don't know if horse grass has any effect on horses that aren't my own…"
"You have a horse?! Wow! That's so cool! Can I see him right now?"
"Epona is female, and…unfortunately, you can't. I had to leave her behind when we were ambushed by the Subspace Army. It was just too dangerous."
"…Oh." Pit's wings drooped. "That's too bad. You got me all excited for a bit."
Link smiled apologetically. "Well, I'll do my best to introduce you to Epona as soon as possible. I'm sure she'll like you."
"Mmm, I hope so!" said Pit agreeably, his cheerful attitude quickly returning.
Just then, Toon Link walked past the two swordsmen, carrying his bow and a quiver full of arrows. He headed straight for the shooting range, which already had several targets set up, and stopped at the shooting area. He removed one arrow from the quiver that was slung over his shoulder and gave one of the targets a sour look. Then he nocked the arrow on his bow and drew the string back, took aim, and released. The arrow cut through the air and landed near the bottom edge of the target. Toon Link pursed his lips in annoyance.
Link gently poked Pit and tilted his head in Toon Link's direction. Pit noticed that the cartoon Hylian was doing target practice and that all the arrows he had shot so far weren't very close to the center. He nodded in understanding and reentered the Smash Mansion alone, while Link went to his younger counterpart. He observed the arrows on the target.
"I don't think you're drawing back enough, Toon," he said. "Put a little more strength into it. Or…" He took out his own bow and set an arrow. "…aim higher."
Link took a firm stance and drew the string back. Toon Link noticed that he was drawing the string as far as he usually did, and that he appeared to be aiming somewhere above the target. He held his position for a moment, and then he loosened smoothly. The arrow hit the target dead center. It stood out like a beacon among Toon Link's arrows, which were stuck in every part of the target except the bullseye.
"And again."
Link nocked another arrow. This time, he aimed straight at the target and pulled the string farther back than before. He let the arrow fly; the projectile landed right next to his previous arrow, but it was still within the small area of the bullseye.
Toon Link stood there in wide-eyed astonishment. Link just smiled encouragingly at the cartoon Hylian and stood behind him, and he waited patiently. The cartoon Hylian looked at the target nervously, staring at its center. Almost carefully, he brought up his bow and set an arrow in place. He ignored everything around him—it was now just him and the center of the target. He closed his cat-like eyes for a moment and slowly pulled the bowstring farther until he was sure it was on the verge of snapping. And then he opened his eyes and released.
The shaft of Link's arrow, whose head was still buried in the bullseye, split in half as Toon Link's arrow pierced right through it and landed in the target's center.
Link had a wide grin of satisfaction upon his face. "Do you get it now?" he asked gently.
Toon Link nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said. "I think so."
"And why did it happen?"
The cartoon Hylian pulled another arrow out of his quiver and put it on his bow. "Before I drew my arrow back," he answered confidently as he took aim, "it was already in the center of the target!"
Popo and Nana, the Ice Climber twins, were sitting at their desk, scouring the internet for funny comics about the Super Smash Brothers. Since the Smashers were so famous nowadays, it was easy to find all kinds of comics about one, a few, or all of them.
"Hey, here's another good one," Nana said, tugging at her brother's parka.
Popo stared at it for a moment. Then he burst out laughing.
"Ohhhhh, I get it!" he said. "You know how Lucario has that ability with the 'high risk, high return' thing? So Lucario blew himself up with a Smart Bomb so he could have lots of damage5! And when he has lots of damage…"
"…his moves deal more damage!" finished Nana. She had seen Lucario defeat Primids and Floows and even enraged Towtows with a single Aura Sphere when his damage was dangerously high.
"But there is a bad thing to it," said Popo. "When he's got a lot of damage, he's more vulnerable, too!"
"Yeah." Nana sighed a little sadly. "I remember him telling me that he—"
Popo put his hand on Nana's mouth. "Shhh! Do you hear that?"
Somewhere downstairs, there were a lot of loud voices.
"…destroyed my pot?!" somebody shrieked. It sounded like Kirby. "I was still cooking some vegetable soup!"
"I bet Crazy Hand did it!" somebody shouted back—probably Pit.
"Fix it! FIX IT!"
"But I have no idea how to fix pots…"
"Oh, I did that!" said Toon Link's voice. He sounded very apologetic. "I'm so sorry! I was doing target practice!"
"…Then how did your arrow end up all the way over here?" Kirby asked very cautiously.
"He got overconfident." Now Link was speaking. "He scored a few bullseyes in succession…until now."
"And I decided to use a bomb arrow, which was probably the first wrong thing. But what a coincidence that Crazy Hand was passing by at the exact same time… Maybe I should blame it on him."
"Kirby, do you think you can make another pot of soup before dinner?"
"B-but Link, dinner is in less than an hour!"
"Ah, don't worry. I'll help. But let's get your pot fixed first."
"That's a good idea! There's just one problem. Who here knows how to fix pots?!"
"Wait a moment! Allow me!"
The booming, telepathic voice seemed to echo through every floor of the Smash Mansion. Popo and Nana immediately knew that it belonged to Master Hand.
"Master Hand can fix Kirby's pot in no time flat!" Nana exclaimed. "With a snap of his fingers, it's done!"
Right after she said this, the siblings heard the very audible sound of a large pair of fingers snapping from the first floor.
"Yay! Thanks, Master Hand!" cheered Kirby's voice.
"It was nothing, Kirby," replied the telepathic voice of the hand. "I suggest that you move your pot to a safer area next time."
"…But…there are no safer areas in the Smash Mansion…"
Popo whooped excitedly. "Just as you said it!" he said. "Snap! And it's done in the blink of an eye!"
"Now that your pot has been repaired, I must return to my office," the Ice Climbers heard Master Hand say. "I have a lot of paperwork to do. Good evening, everybody."
"…Um…excuse me, Master Hand?"
"Yes, Toon Link?"
"What about the wall and everything within a ten-foot radius of Kirby's pot? They…er…kinda got blown up as well."
"Ah…yes."
There was another loud snapping sound.
"That should do it. Toon Link, please refrain from using bomb arrows the next time you are doing target practice unless you explicitly know what you are doing. Now I must return to my office. Good evening, everybody. Please be on time for dinner, and please keep an eye out for Crazy Hand. Who knows what my fool of a brother could be up to at this moment…"
Nana turned to Popo. "Wow, Master Hand is so cool, right, Popo?" she said. "He can fix things in a split second when it could take us, like, several hours or days!"
Her brother nodded in agreement. "Yeah!" Then he frowned. "And speaking of breaking things…has there ever been a day when Crazy Hand didn't destroy anything?"
"Hm, I don't think so," said Nana. "He's so…well…crazy. It's probably impossible for him to not break something. He did something in the garden today, right?"
"I think he shot a missile at one of the trees… He said he was trying to knock down some cherries or something. And that doesn't make any sense at all because he could've just punched the tree or—" Popo stopped when he realized something. "Hey, wait a minute! He can fly! He could've flown up and picked the cherries! But he chose to shoot a missile at the tree! Wow, he's crazy!"
Nana giggled. "And do you remember what happened yesterday?"
"Um…oh yeah!" Popo grinned as he began to recount the story. "He went to Mr. Game & Watch's room and gave GW a Party Ball…"
"And when he opened it, a bunch of Bob-ombs dropped out and blew up his room!"
"Right! But Crazy Hand didn't get blown up because he escaped just in time. He was laughing his…I dunno…hand off? It's supposed to be 'laughing his head off,' but he doesn't have a head. But anyway…Mr. Game & Watch reported the incident to Master Hand, and boy, was he mad when he heard that!"
"And Crazy Hand immediately knew that he was in big trouble, so he teleported somewhere to hide…"
"Bad move, Crazy," Popo said sagely.
"Master Hand flew off to wherever Crazy Hand was and literally dragged back him to the Smash Mansion!"
"And he gave Crazy Hand a pretty harsh tongue-lashing…even though he doesn't have a tongue…I think…? Gee, it's hard to use all these phrases when we're talking about giant, intelligent hands!"
"Hahahahaha!" the Ice Climbers laughed.
At that moment, loud clanging sounded from somewhere downstairs. "All right, everybody!" It was Peach, who was smacking a pot with a wooden spoon to catch everyone's attention. "Dinner is ready! Come and get it!"
The door slammed heavily in the door frame as Popo and Nana zoomed out of their room and down the stairs…and it fell off its hinges.