Chapter Text
It has been two weeks. Two whole weeks have passed since it all happened. Life as he knew it changed. But that wasn’t new, right? His life was always changing. He knew that. He knew that the moment Tony Stark showed up at his apartment. He knew it, the moment he landed his feet at the airport in Germany. But he thought he was getting the hang of it. He thought he was doing really well, but not this time. This time, it’s different. This time things just slipped right out of his hands. No one there to tell him that it is okay, that he will get right back up. This time, there is no way back.
This time, Peter Parker is dead.
Ever since he was a child, all he wanted to do was to become Spider-Man. All he wanted was to meet the Avengers and maybe, just maybe he could become one himself. But what did that bring him? Pain, danger, death, and torture. Watching his loved ones die before his very eyes wasn’t something new to Peter, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. This time, it’s different, because he’s the one dying. What could possibly be worse than that? That he can’t do anything about it.
It's scary how people suddenly change. It’s scary to watch them being driven by anything you want them to believe. That’s what Quentin Beck did. He controlled the people. He tricked them just like he used to trick Peter. He played them, made them believe that he was a murderer. It hurt. It hurt so much, watching himself die in the eyes of the people who once loved and supported him. He watched himself die in the eyes of younger versions of him. Kids who believed in Spider-Man and looked up to him, just like he did when he was their age.
All the pain, the anger, and the sadness he felt at that moment, couldn’t be compared to any time he had felt them before. It’s different this time. It’s deeper. Less bearable. Yet, he couldn’t do anything about it. What would he do? None of the scenarios that crossed Peter’s mind ended in a way other than being sentenced to death. He couldn’t seek anyone’s help. He couldn’t hire a lawyer, because a) He doesn’t have any money b) The world believes he’s a murderer, thanks to Beck. No lawyer would risk their name or reputation and take a losing case like his. He was just stuck at the rock bottom with no way out. A ghost lurking in the shadows, too scared to step into the spotlight that he once owned.
He couldn’t even seek the help of those who were close to him. Peter vowed to himself that he wouldn’t ever bring any of the ones he loves into this. Not a single one of them. Not after what happened in London. He is still living with the guilt of putting his whole class and teachers’ lives at risk. He also knew that he could never bring Pepper into this, although, he knew she could somehow help him, but no. He couldn’t do that to Tony. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Pepper or Morgan got hurt in any way, or if it was May or Ned and MJ. MJ…
Peter’s eyes teared up as he gazed over the city from the roof of a building he managed to stay at for the night. He misses them. He misses the scent of his and May’s cozy place at night when she would bake them something on a cold night. He misses spending nights with Ned busting themselves up with video games, and when they would get tired, they would just spend the night talking for hours. They would talk about everything, anything. From the hottest models, to the biggest Lego set they never managed to finish without losing some of the pieces. God, he misses MJ. He misses seeing her awkward smile when he throws a dumb compliment. He misses how her hand felt in his, how she would always call him a loser, and then claim that it's her way of showing love. But he liked it, he never complained. MJ was never one of those girls who would call him ‘babe’ or ‘honey’ all the time, anyway, and that is one of the reasons why Peter liked her. She is different. He misses his life. He misses his family, and he couldn’t do anything about it.
For the very first time, Peter felt lost in his own city. He doesn’t know where to go. He doesn’t know who to contact. He can’t even believe what is actually happening. At first, Peter would hide a lot. He would find dark alleys or abandoned shops to stay at, for a few nights, because he was well aware that everyone was looking for him. Everyone wanted Peter Parker dead. They all wanted the “Murderer” to meet his fate.
But it was so hard walking around the streets of his own city, the place where he grew up, seeing posters of Spider-Man torn apart and thrown away. It pained him to see the beautiful street art he once admired crossed out, or worse, having “Murderer” and names sprayed all over Spider-Man in thick black graffiti. Not to mention the pictures of himself that were hung everywhere. He hated it. So, he started hiding less, and moving more. He knew he had to keep his mind busy or else, he would lose it. Peter was never one to accept sitting there doing nothing. Action always found him, so he still managed to fight crime in the city that no longer accepted him. The alleys he would hide at, were not always empty. Muggers and thieves were found in almost every part that he would try to hide at. It was always dark when Peter had to face them, so they never knew who took them down.
It broke his heart that his suit became a threat to him. It was no longer a suit of armor that protected him. It gave out who he was, and for the first time, Peter did not want to be seen as Spider-Man. He got rid of the suit, and managed to find clothes at one of the places he would hide at. They were not much; just a hoodie, and a pair of pants. He kept the web-shooters. He didn’t know if he would need to use them other than for swinging from building to another to hide or not, but he knew that they were running out of web fluid, and he had to cut down on using them.
As Peter looked down at the building across him, he wondered what May was doing, how is she dealing with all of this? Is she holding up well? Or is she as miserable as he is? He knew for a fact that he could trust Happy, so, he was not worried about either May, Ned, or MJ. He knows they are safe where they are right now, but he doesn’t know if he is safe or not; if he can make it to them or not. He sighed, looking out into the distance with only one question in his mind:
How is he going to get his life back?