Chapter Text
November 10th 21:00
Kitten has sent you a private message
Accept?
21:00
Kitten: heyyyyyu ken I think tetsu deleted your #
Kitten: sorry bout that I should seriously never allow him to be near my phone again
21:03
Kitten: anyways answer me pls I need your opinion
Mindfucker has accepted
21:08
Kitten: mind what
Mindfucker: I think you have the wrong number.
Kitten: yeah I think you’re right
Kitten: sorry
21:10
Mindfucker: No worries.
Mindfucker: Have a nice day.
21:11
Kitten: hold on while I have you
Mindfucker: Huh?
Kitten: do u think that yellow and purple go together
21:12
Mindfucker: Yes?
Kitten: why did u add a ?
Kitten: now im not sure about this
Mindfucker: Sure about what?
21:14
Kitten: my friend got this dress for her sisters wedding and I’m supposed to be helping her pick out shoes to go with it
Kitten: and I thought these really cute gold sandals would be nice but
Mindfucker: What other options are there?
Kitten: well there’s also some black pumps but they’re kinda boring
21:15
Mindfucker: Sounds stressful.
21:16
Kitten: it is
Kitten: im not even going to the wedding
Mindfucker: Are you a chick?
21:17
Kitten: hmmm what a sudden change in the conversation
Mindfucker: Sorry, was that rude?
Kitten: I mean no but u kinda sound like some old creep with all of your perfect punctuation and your weird interest in my gender
21:18
Mindfuck: My punctuation?
Kitten: yea it’s unnatural
Mindfuck: Alright, well, this has been fun.
Kitten: no! Hold on!!!!
Kitten: im not a girl
21:20
Mindfucker: Oh, cool.
Kitten: you’re not like a villain or anything are you
Mindfucker: I’m not, but then again, a villain could easily lie about not being one so…
Kitten: u rite u rite
Mindfucker: Are you a villain?
Kitten: nope
21:21
Mindfucker: Are you
Mindfucker: All might?
21:22
Kitten: what the
Kitten: I wish
Mindfucker: Aw man, it would’ve been so cool if I’d been texting All might.
Kitten: do you think all might is the kinda guy that texts the wrong number and then gets into a convo with them about shoes
Mindfucker: I don’t know, I was just curious.
21:24
Kitten: so are you a girl
Mindfucker: I’m a guy who’s got homework to do.
Kitten: awww are you getting rid of me
21:26
Mindfucker: Yep.
Mindfucker: It was nice talking to you though. Have a nice life.
21:27
Kitten: fine fine fine I have my own homework anyways
Mindfucker: So you’re a kid?
Kitten: Oh wow you’re creepy
21:28
Mindfucker: Goodbye.
Kitten: jerk
November 11th
12:30 am
Kitten: I’m stuck
Kitten: entertain me pls
Kitten: oi mind fucker pay attention to me
12:33 pm
Mindfucker: What do you mean ‘you’re stuck’?
Kitten: exactly as it sounds
Kitten: some idiot used their quirk and now my foot is stuck in a wall
Mindfucker: I-???
12:34
Kitten: their quirks pretty cool tho
Kitten: I’d kill to talk to them more about it
Kitten: do some research on how they use it
Mindfucker: Oh my god.
Kitten: what
12:35
Mindfucker: This isn’t Izuku Midoryia is it?
Kitten: EXCUSE ME WHAT
Kitten: YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW I AM NOT THAT LITTLE JERK
12:36
Mindfucker: Oh fuck, is this Bakugou?
Kitten: STOP IT STOP IT
Kitten: YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY
Kitten: I ALREADY HAVE MY FOOT STUCK IN A WALL AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA INSULT ME
Mindfucker: Oof nevermind.
12:37
Kitten: god I hate those two
Mindfucker: Yeah, they’re annoying.
Kitten: right??
12:38
Mindfucker: I swear, I don’t even know why Bakugou was allowed in UA.
Kitten: omg yes he’s so violent I bet the only reason he was accepted was because they were afraid of him becoming a villain
Mindfucker: I mean, I understand Midoryia being a hero, he’s nice and stuff.
12:39
Kitten: but he’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met
Mindfucker: Holy fuck, yes. I swear he never stops talking about friendship and the power of love and blah blah blah.
Mindfucker: I’m not trying to sound like an asshole, but I swear, being around Midoriya can be so exhausting
Kitten: I mean I exhaust myself all the time just from talking but
12:40
Mindfucker: Oh, that’s a mood.
Kitten: yeah
Kitten: oh and I guess now we know that we’re both students who probably go to UA
Kitten: you do go to UA right
Mindfucker: Oh yeah.
12:41
Kitten: well that’s a relief tho
Kitten: now I know I’m not texting some forty year old man who’s trying to get me to send him some nudes
Mindfucker: Ew stop.
Kitten: ok but I love that you don’t like midoryia
Mindfucker: I never said I didn’t like him, he just happens to be really annoying and I don’t like spending time around him ever.
Kitten: sounds like you don’t like him
12:43
Mindfucker: How’s that foot doing? Did you get it out yet?
Kitten: well I texted my friend a bit ago to come help me but she still hasn’t showed
Kitten: it’s lunch time y’know
Mindfucker: Yeah. It’s weird to think that right now, some random guy that I’ve been texting is stuck in a wall in some hallway around me while I eat my lunch.
12:44
Kitten: yep lol
Kitten: oh hold up I think I
12:45
Mindfucker: ?
12:55
Mindfucker: Hey, did you get it out?
13:06
Mindfucker: Kitten?
Mindfucker: Jeez, your username sucks.
13:17
Mindfucker: Text me when you can, because lunch is over, weirdo.
15:12
Kitten: ah schools over time to go do my hw and cry for three hrs
Kitten: oh~
Kitten: did u miss me or smthn lol
15:15
Kitten: and you aren’t even replying now wow someone’s rude
Kitten: my username is cute btw
15:20
Mindfucker: It’s uncomfortable as hell to say.
Kitten: :(
Kitten: whyd u take so long jerkface
15:21
Mindfucker: School literally just ended like 10 minutes ago and I had stuff to do.
Mindfucker: Also, I don’t even know who this actually is.
Kitten: well let’s go over what we know about each other
Mindfucker: Uh-no. Firstly, what happened earlier with your foot?
Kitten: oh yeah so
15:22
Kitten: a teacher found me and then yanked me out
Kitten: it was kind of annoying to realize how weak I am
Mindfucker: You’re not weak.
Kitten: uh lol
Kitten: how would u know
15:23
Mindfucker: You seem pretty badass to me.
15:27
Kitten: Aw babe that’s so nice
Mindfucker: ahshsksksk
Kitten: so I see you’ve been faking your fancy talk this whole time
Mindfucker: Fancy talk?
15:28
Kitten: I beg of u just text normally
Mindfucker: Seriously?
Kitten: pleassssssssss
Mindfucker: there should be an E at the end of that
Kitten: AHHHHHHHHH
Kitten: YOU DID IT YESSSS
15:29
Mindfucker: this is dumb
Kitten: I love it so much
Mindfucker: Jesus Christ
Kitten: i love him too
15:30
Mindfucker: so
Mindfucker: about what we know about each other
Mindfucker: we both go to UA, we’re both students, we both don’t like midoryia and bakugou from class 1-A and you happened to get your foot stuck in a wall today
15:31
Kitten: p much yeah
Mindfucker: k
Kitten: oh wait actually
Kitten: I know that you’re not in the hero course
Mindfucker: uhm what
15:32
Kitten: :)
15:33
Mindfucker: how the fuck did you know that
Kitten: well I mean nobody in 1-A doesn’t like midoryia so
Mindfucker: I guess
Mindfucker: how do you know I’m not in 1-B then? Or a 2nd or 3rd year?
Kitten: you said that you’ve interacted with midoriya before and on a frequent basis so like? The upperclassmen don’t really talk to us that much
15:34
Mindfucker: so you’re also a 1st year?
Kitten: and you just admitted it to me so :)
Mindfucker: damn
Mindfucker: but what about 1-b? why can’t I be in that class?
Kitten: I just don’t think u are
Mindfucker: because of…?
Kitten: my instincts
Mindfucker: mhmm ok weirdo
15:35
Kitten: I see that you’re now very comfy with talking to me so informally
Mindfucker: guess I got tired
Kitten: it’s not even dinner time
Minducker: touché
15:36
Kitten: wow u clearly need more sleep
Minducker: yeah probably thanks for noticing
Kitten: god I would love if u were todoroki
Mindfucker: what
15:38
Kitten: I mean obviously I wouldn’t love to be talking to that prick, but it would be so fucking funny if I had been talking to him this whole time and that he’s secretly been ranting about how much he actually dislikes his friends to me
Mindfucker: shit that would be so funny tho
Kitten: but alas
Kitten: the freak is too in love with that bone crunching Kermit
Mindfucker: bone crunching kermit
Kitten: oh fuck I dare you I dare you to come up with a better name for him u judgmental hoe
15:39
Mindfucker: dude
Kitten: just come up with another name!!
Mindfucker: um
Mindfucker: green cauliflower
15:45
Mindfucker: you still there?
Kitten: why didn’t u just say broccoli
Mindfucker: oh damn
Kitten: nononono im gonna peemypants because of uu
Minducker: ajajsjsjsksksksk
Kitten: im gonna scream
15:50
Kitten: wow I hate u how
Kitten: how can someone who came up with the name ‘mindfucker’ also come with green cauliflower instead of just plain ol’ broccoli
Mindfucker: im dumb leave me alone :,(
Kitten: you’re also bad with names
Mundfucker: your username is legit kitten how r u able to lecture me
16:00
Kitten: oh you big meanie my friend chose this username
Mindfucker: your friend must not like u v much
Kitten: I cry
Kitten: nah he loves me
Minndfucker: Is he that Tetsu or ken guy you texted me about in the first place
Kitten: hmm?
16:01
Kitten: oh lol no
Kitten: and I’m not gonna tell you any more about them then you’ll figure out who I am
Mindfucker: ughhhh
Kitten: jerk trying to get me to give away all my private information
Mindfucker: how is me asking whether or not which one of your friends chose your
Mindfucker: no nevermind I hear it and I can confirm I am a creep
Kitten: well at least you’re self aware
16:17
Kitten: kachowww
Mindfucker: ?
Kitten: I’m watching that american movie
Mindfucker: ah yes, the classic film; kachowww
Mindfucker: my favorite
Kitten: no no I’m watching cars
Kitten: ya know the one from Pixar
Minducker: Yeah I know
16:18
Kitten: do you think they fuck
16:20
Mindfucker: what
Kitten: like how do you think the cars are made
Kitten: are they built by other cars in auto shops or
Kitten: do the cars have genitals
16:25
Kitten: helloooo
Mindfucker: how do I block u
Kitten: what’s ur answer coward
Mindfucker: I don’t have one
Mindfucker: You’re so weird
Kitten: thanks
16:26
Kitten: what’s your fav pixar movie
Mindfucker: what’s yours?
Kitten: gd ur so uncooperative
Kitten: I like ratatouille
Mindfucker: oh nice one
Kitten: thank y
16:27
Mindfucker: I like inside out
Kitten: hmmmm
Kitten: you’re a sensitive man I see
Mindfucker: I like the animation
Kitten: I do too
16:28
Kitten: if you were gonna be one of the emotions from it which one would u be
Mindfucker: I’d be sadness, no debate about it
Kitten: aww no why?
Mindfucker: I can vibe with that whole feeling like a failure and just melting into the floor
Kitten: but you sound so cool
Mindfucker: lol thank u
16:29
Mindfucker: which one would u be
Kitten: I would soooo be disgust
Mindfucker: oh really?
Kitten: yeah I’m a pretty dramatic person
Mindfucker: bakugou would be anger
Kitten: ????
Mindfucker: joy would be midoryia
Kitten: ugh
16:30
Kitten: fear would be
Mindfucker: Aizawa sensei when he teaches 1-A
Kitten: lololol poor man idk how he hasn’t died of the stress yet
Mindfucker: do you like him
Kitten: Aizawa? yea I guess he’s fine
Mindfucker: hmmmm r u in his class
Kitten: not answering that
16:31
Mindfucker: damn
Kitten: what color is your hair
Mindfucker: well I’m not gonna answer that either then
16:32
Mindfucker: what’s your best friend’s name?
Kitten: what do you eat for lunch everyday
Mindfucker: what agency did you internship with
Kitten: are you straight
Mindfucker: wha
Mindfucker: I’m demisexual
Kitten: huh
Kitten: sick
16:33
Mindfucker: thanks what about you
Kitten: I am exclusively attracted to men who wear leather
Mindfucker: so
Mindfucker: like half of the pro hero population
Kitten: no shush
Kitten: how was your day at school
Mindfucker: are you trying to see if any gossip from today could lead back to my identity
16:34
Kitten: maybe
Mindfucker: well then you should know that I did nothing today and that barely anyone notices me
Kitten: damn you good bro?
Mindfucker: I-
Mindfucker: I made that sound so much angstier than it needed to be
Kitten: I’m getting a vibe from you that you’re antisocial
16:35
Mindfucker: yeah lol I’m not great with people
Kitten: huh
Mindfucker: what
16:37
Kitten: I’m just trying to think about all the 1st years who aren’t in the hero course and are loners
Mindfucker: you cuck
Kitten: HAHAHAHA
Mindfucker: I have friends :(
Kitten: I never said u didn’t
Kitten: are you sure you aren’t todoroki
16:38
Mindfucker: I'm going for a run bye
Kitten: wha
Kitten: we’re in the middle of a conversation
Kitten: mindfucker!!!
16:43
Kitten: I WANNA CHAT THO
16:58
Kitten: someone in my dorm is singing so loudly lolol
Kitten: it’s pretty shitty too
17:12
Kitten: lalalalala I’m boreddddddd
17:30
Kitten: I can stand on my hands for nearly five minutes
Kitten: and I can do the splits
18:03
Mindfucker: impressive
18:05
Kitten: thank u :)