Work Text:
It’s safe to say no one saw this coming.
After winning the V. League championship yet again in January, it was announced that both Kiyoomi and Atsumu were recruited for Japan men’s volleyball Olympic team.
MSBY Black Jackals @msbyblackjackals
Congratulations to our monsters Hinata Shouyou, Bokuto Koutarou, Miya Atsumu, and Sakusa Kiyoomi for making it to the national team! We know you got this!
jac in the B @jacbeanstalk
imagine being 2 of the most attractive people ever and being inlove with each other and being so damn good at your craft that ur BOTH SCOUTED FOR THE NATIONAL TEAM SAKUATSU SUPREMACY!!!
sakuatsuhoe @stansakuatsu_
goddamn if that aint the best volleyball lineup ever hnggh
Mimiyah @miyatiwnsaremylife
SakuAtsu really said POWER COUPLE
Onigiri Miya @onigirimiya
And just for that, onigiris are on me @msbyblackjackals. Congrats to my little brother @miyaatsumu for being part of the Olympics roster!
Miya Atsumu @miyaatsumu
@onigirimiya yer ahead for 1 fuckin’ minute smh
But they were only able to bask in the good news for a month when the coronavirus outbreak was declared a pandemic. Suddenly, the world stood at a standstill, panic and fear and sickness spreading across nations.
“We are going to die. We’re going to catch the gross virus, and we’re going to die,” Kiyoomi said flatly.
“Stop being overdramatic,” Atsumu sighed.
“Atsumu. This is literally my worst nightmare come to life.” He was scared of catching the goddamn flu, but a highly-infectious, possibly fatal flu-like illness? He shuddered.
“I know, I know, babe. We’ll follow all the safety protocols, okay?”
“We’re not leaving the apartment.”
“Well, I mean, we’d need food and shit, but I’ll handle it.” When Kiyoomi made to protest, Atsumu assured, “Just once a week or so. I’ll be careful, promise.”
Japan was currently under state of emergency, as the government tried to contain the virus. Quarantine measures were put in place, schools were shut down, and mass gatherings were banned, so that means no Olympics, and definitely no volleyball. People weren’t disallowed from going out, but they were strongly urged to stay inside.
At the time, Kiyoomi had thought, Not a problem.
Then he realized he was going to be stuck with his boyfriend every hour of every. Single. Day.
This...might be a problem.
--
Sakusa Kiyoomi would like to make it known that he loved Miya Atsumu. Truly, he did. They’ve been together for two years now, and he willingly moved in with the guy last December. For the past four months, they have learned to adjust to each other, though not without a lot of shoving, and tugging, and bending. They wormed themselves into each other’s daily routines, but of course those daily routines included volleyball, working out, eating out, and going out with friends.
To be forcefully stuck with just Atsumu for an indefinite period of time? There’s no way they wouldn’t implode.
Case in point: it’s three weeks into quarantine, three weeks into this forced togetherness, and Kiyoomi had already kicked out Atsumu into their guest bedroom.
To his credit, there is only so much he can take of Atsumu’s “Omi, Omi, Omi, let’s play 20 Questions,” or “Omi, we should do this couple’s workout I found on Instagram,” or “Let’s do the boyfriend tag thing and post it on YouTube!” The answer to all of those of course was no.
Today, Atsumu was pouting and asking for cuddles, saying Kiyoomi owed him because he had to sleep in the guest room last night.
Kiyoomi sighed and paused in his stress-cleaning. “I’m not yet done with the kitchen, Tsumu.”
Atsumu looked down at the floor. “How is it that we’re stuck here together but barely spend any time actually being together?” He didn’t give Kiyoomi a chance to answer. He turned on his heel and walked away.
Kiyoomi stared blankly at the sink. He was self-aware enough to realize he might have fucked up.
He decided to finish up with the kitchen later in the afternoon, and took a shower. Then, he went to the guest room where Atsumu was lying on his back on the bed, tossing a volleyball into the air.
“Hey,” he said. “You wanted to play 20 Questions?”
Atsumu shrugged.
Kiyoomi sighed. He approached the bed and sat on the edge. “Cuddles?” he tried.
His boyfriend caught the volleyball, and after a second let it bounce harmlessly to the floor. Then he moved over in the small bed. Kiyoomi squeezed himself in, and curled his arm around his waist.
He started to relax. He missed this, just sharing space with Atsumu. Maybe he’d let him back in their bed. If he stopped twisting and turning and sighing and generally driving Kiyoomi insane.
He must have been more tired than he thought. He wouldn’t admit it but it’s hard for him to sleep without Atsumu now. Before he knew it, he started to doze off.
--
When he woke up, Atsumu was nowhere to be found. He frowned at the empty living room, and went hunting for his phone. No texts. It was 1 p.m. He had accidentally slept for 4 hours. This damn quarantine was messing with his body clock.
Before he could call his boyfriend, he heard the door unlock, and he strode back to the living room. Atsumu was there, looking windswept and wearing a face mask.
“Don’t come near me yet, I have to shower first.” Atsumu started walking towards the bathroom.
“Where have you been?” Kiyoomi demanded. “We said we weren’t leaving the apartment.”
“Dropped by Samu’s real quick. He wanted to bounce back ideas for his shop. He might have to start delivering,” Atsumu called over his shoulder, then disappeared into the bathroom.
Stewing, Kiyoomi banged around the kitchen to make tea so he could calm himself down. Atsumu always did impulsive shit like this.
By the time Atsumu reappeared, damp in fresh clothes, his anger has turned icy.
“Well?”
Atsumu stared at him. “Well what? I told you I had to go to Samu’s —”
“You could’ve just spoken about that on the phone. I know you Facetime every fucking day.”
Atsumu looked away.
“Do you even know how dangerous it is out there? People die of this virus, Tsumu. You know how stressed I’ve been about this —”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just—”
“What?” Kiyoomi snapped, disbelieving that Atsumu was about to make excuses yet again.
“I just needed to get away from you!”
A ringing silence. Atsumu’s eyes were wide, like he couldn’t believe he just said that.
But he didn’t take it back. Atsumu walked over to the table and collapsed on a chair with a pained sigh.
“From...this place. This...I’m not happy, Kiyoomi.”
Kiyoomi stared at him uncomprehendingly.
“You know, aside from this morning, I don’t even remember the last time we held each other like that. I don’t know when we last had sex. I don’t even know the last time you let me hold your hand.”
He found his voice. “It’s just...the championships, and then being recruited for the Olympics...we’ve both been busy, Atsumu.”
Atsumu shrugged miserably. “Yeah. I know. But you also stopped opening up to me. Just, a month after moving in together you just...you were here but not really.”
Panic was clawing up Kiyoomi’s chest. What was happening?
"So, what, you want to break up?" Kiyoomi felt like a knife was lodged in his throat.
"Of course not!" Atsumu shouted. "I thought you did!"
Kiyoomi whispered, "I don't. I never ever considered that."
"Liar," Atsumu scoffed.
"Not seriously!" he yelled back. "Isn't that fucking normal anyway? When you get tired and think maybe this wasn't a good idea? It doesn't matter, it's not like I ever did it!"
“You might as well have!”
Kiyoomi and Atsumu have had their share of arguments and fights. Even long before they got together, they were constantly at each other’s throats. That was fine. They were at it so often that making up has become the easiest thing for them to do.
This felt different.
This felt like it could really break them.
Atsumu sighed and ran a hand over his face.
"I was looking forward to this quarantine because I thought we could — reconnect or some shit. And I'd be able to fix what I did wrong. But then you —" Sent him away. Ignored him. Put up barriers. Separated himself from Atsumu.
Teary brown eyes gazed up at Kiyoomi. “Are you really that sick of me? Can you really not stand me anymore?”
Heart aching, Kiyoomi forced out, “You did nothing wrong. It’s — It’s not—”
“It’s not you, it’s me? Seriously?”
Kiyoomi grits his teeth. “I don’t...know what to say.”
Silence. “Yeah, me neither.”
--
They slept separately again that night. Or well, tried to.
Kiyoomi stared unseeingly at the dark ceiling, plagued with thoughts of Atsumu breaking up with him. Of Atsumu taking everything of his that he needed, but leaving Kiyoomi behind.
He tried to figure out where they went wrong. They were supposed to be happy. They had been excited about moving in together, just when they had a mid-season break. Right in time for Christmas and New Year and the V. League championships.
But Atsumu hadn’t been lying when he said that Kiyoomi had been distant. Finally, he faced those messy, complicated feelings that were causing them so much grief.
He thought about just giving up on this. Imagined telling Atsumu, “I’m not the one you need,” or screaming, “What more do you want from me?”
He didn’t know how many hours had passed before he found the courage to walk silently to the guest bedroom.
He raised his fist to knock, but his knuckles just brushed against the door, sliding down silently. He pushed open the door and saw Atsumu’s body half-covered by a blanket. His back faced Kiyoomi.
“Tsumu,” he said in a low voice.
There was some sniffling before Atsumu turned. “Hey,” he replied, voice thick.
Kiyoomi wanted to punch himself. My fault, he thought.
Atsumu turned back around like he suddenly couldn’t bear to face him.
That was fine. Kiyoomi climbed the bed instead, curled up against his back and hugged him tight.
“Are we breaking up?” Atsumu asked in a plaintive voice.
“That would be the kindest, easiest solution.”
A sob.
“But when did we ever take the easy way out?” He tightened his arms around Atsumu and pressed his face against the back of his neck. “You deserve someone better than me. But just imagining that person makes me want to punch something.”
They breathed together for a few moments, trying to calm their hearts down.
“I’ve told you before that I’m not close with my family, but I guess I didn’t tell you how alone I’ve been most of my life. My parents were busy, sure, but the truth is that they didn’t know how to handle me and my...idiosyncrasies. I had to learn to take care of myself. It wasn’t just the mysophobia that made it hard for me to get close to people. I just never learned how to let anyone in,” he said.
He added quietly, “I still don’t know how to let anyone in. My apartment has always been my safe harbor. Us living together...I don’t know. I just thought it would be easier. But it, it’s hard, it was harder than I thought to —” he lost his voice as his throat closed up.
Atsumu finally turned around in his arms and rested a hand against his cheek. He watched Kiyoomi for a moment before running a thumb under his eye.
“I’ve never seen you cry before.”
“I haven’t had reason to cry in years.” But this was honestly breaking his heart. Kiyoomi hasn’t felt this scared in a long time.
“Kiyoomi, do you want to be with me?”
“Of course I fucking do.”
“You have to let me inside, Omi. You’re going to have to endure the pain of that, and let me see even the parts of you that you’re trying so hard to protect.”
“It’s not worth seeing.”
“I don’t care. It’s part of you. And I love all of you.”
Kiyoomi sobbed and pressed his forehead against Atsumu’s. “I’m sorry, Atsumu.”
“I’m sorry too.”
--
For the second time in as many days, Kiyoomi woke up in the guest bedroom alone. Seized with panic, he threw off the sheets and hurried out to find Atsumu.
"...almost broke up."
"The fuck?" Osamu's voice blared through a phone speaker. "Why? Fuck, stop crying that's weird. What the fuck. Should I beat him up?"
When push comes to shove, Osamu would always back his twin.
"No. We're fine. I'm fine. He said we'll fix it."
Kiyoomi was frozen by the hallway, feeling like his heart was being squeezed by a large fist. He didn’t move until the twins moved on to discussing delivery options for Onigiri Miya, before finally hanging up.
He sneaked in closer and wrapped his arms around Atsumu from behind.
“Good morning,” he said, pressing a kiss to Atsumu’s neck.
“Mornin’.” He could hear a smile in Atsumu’s voice.
They stayed like that for a while, Atsumu’s hand straying to Kiyoomi’s forearms clutching his stomach.
“What do you want to do today?” Atumu said, with a bit of hesitation in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if Kiyoomi would want to spend the day with him.
Feeling a pang in his chest, he tried to tease, “I didn’t finish cleaning the kitchen. Wanna help me?”
They do actually end up cleaning the kitchen. It would have driven Kiyoomi crazy thinking he left something unfinished.
At some point, he glanced up and watched Atsumu diligently scrubbing the stove, brows scrunched together in concentration. He knew this was the last thing Atsumu wanted to do, but here he was doing it to spend time with Kiyoomi. He felt like crying again.
He almost lost this.
“I love you,” he said.
Blinking, Atsumu glanced at him. Then he smiled. “I love you too, Omi-Omi.”
--
Later, they made love so sweetly, so intensely, that they were both in tears by the end of it. Kiyoomi didn’t even want to get up to shower, choosing instead to press his body against Atsumu’s, like they could meld into one if he wills it hard enough.
When Atsumu made to get up, Kiyoomi tightened his limbs around him, feeling an irrational surge of panic.
“We gotta shower, love. You’ll freak out tomorrow if we don’t.”
The use of “we” spurred Kiyoomi into getting up too. They showered together then rested in the bath.
Atsumu was stroking fingers across Kiyoomi’s wet hair.
“I’m not going anywhere, you know. I’m here until you send me away,” he said.
Kiyoomi thought about this for a moment. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave earlier. Since I made you so unhappy.”
“I didn’t wanna.” Like it was just that simple. “I guess I was hoping you’d come around and give me one more chance.”
His throat burned again. “I told you it’s not your fault. It’s mine.” He sniffled. “I meant it when I said you deserve someone better, but I decided I’ll just have to be better. I promise you that I will try. I’ll really try. But you’re going to have to be really patient with me.”
Atsumu kissed him. “We have lots of time.” Then his lips twisted up in what was almost a smirk. “Literally. They don’t know when they’re lifting the quarantine yet.”
They laughed and for a moment, it felt like everything was fixed and nothing hurts.
--
They do eventually play 20 Questions. Kiyoomi also agrees to do the couple’s exercise he mentioned before, and even invites Atsumu to do the damn boyfriend tag video. He was weak. He knew it. Thankfully, Atsumu just laughs at him and says he need not torture himself.
They talk. Atsumu returns to their bedroom. Kiyoomi tells Atsumu more about his childhood, and Atsumu threatens to shake his parents. He talks about freaking people out in school and his teachers not knowing what to do with him.
Atsumu in turns tells him about his insecurities, and tells him he’s not good at being ignored. This he already knew. Atsumu was like a sunflower — always seeking the sun. In his case, love and attention.
Kiyoomi admits he tends to stonewall, to which Atsumu snorts and says, “No shit.” Then, “We’ll work on it.”
They work on it.
--
Loving each other, Kiyoomi learns, is easy. But constantly choosing each other is not.
Good thing neither of them are quitters.
--
Quarantine measures were lifted three months after it was implemented, with COVID-19 cases dwindling down to double digits.
Kiyoomi was unimpressed. He would prefer if that number was zero.
So they agreed to still remain in the apartment unless it was really necessary to go out. The Olympics were still postponed, there were no upcoming volleyball tournaments, so their strange new life continued on.
They were nearing the end of July now. Six months since the pandemic blew up, and five months since his and Atsumu’s almost-break up. But now their relationship was stronger than ever.
In fact…
Sakusa Kiyoomi @sakusakiyoomi
Yes
[Atsumu was smiling beatifically as Kiyoomi takes a picture of him on their bed. Kiyoomi’s hand is in the frame, resting on Atsumu’s cheek, the ring on his finger displayed proudly.]
onigirimiya this after you give me grief for almost breaking up…? tf?
sakusakiyoomi @onigirimiya apologies samu it was a false alarm
normalacebokuto @onigirimiya @sakusakiyoomi HUHHH? WAIT! CONGRATULATIONS! BUT HUH?
Miya Atsumu @miyaatsumu
Locked down for life. I think Miya Kiyoomi has a nice ring to it. (get it? ring?)
[It was a rare photo of Kiyoomi smiling as he laid in bed looking at Atsumu who was taking the picture. Atsumu was holding Kiyoomi’s hand up to the camera, showing off the ring.]
ninjashouyou AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
onigirimiya congrats, i hate that pun and you
captmeian i’m crying...guess i shouldn’t have worried about you two killing each other in quarantine. congratulations, you too
liberoinunaki miya kiyoomi...has a nice ring...yeah okay FUCK U but congrats
Onigiri Miya @onigirimiya
If yall are feeling hopeless about your love life, just remind yourselves that @miyaatsumu not only landed Sakusa fucking Kiyoomi but got him to agree to marrying him too. Anyway onigiris are on me again lovebirds
miyaatsumu fuck you samu
--
Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi emerge from quarantine engaged
‘Locked down for life’: SakuAtsu are engaged!
Volleyball stars Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi announce engagement
--
They never get around to filming the boyfriend tag.
They film a fiance tag instead.