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Everything about this was a mistake. Every bone in his body, every cell, every atom making up scarred skin and metallic prosthetics and tears and blood was telling him this was wrong. That this would only lead to bad things.
That him trying to come back would only be bad.
And for once, he was right.
And as he sat in Edd’s living room, in his apartment that he had barely had time to truly live in before all of this, before him, he found himself dreading whatever the hell was going to come from today.
Tom and Matt didn’t know he was back. They were in different apartments now, split apart, divided, all because of him, and he almost liked it that way, because it meant he didn’t have to deal with all of them at once.
And now he had to figure out what to say, as he sat a few feet away across from Edd on a springy couch in a room covered head to foot with whatever they could salvage from the wreckage.
He guessed apologizing was a start.
“I....” He swallowed. “I’m.. sorry, Edd-”
“No.”
He hesitated. “I.. no?”
“No. You’re not sorry. If you were sorry, you would’ve apologized sooner. If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have left. If you had any shred of remorse inside of you, then we wouldn’t be here, would we?”
Tord didn’t reply.
“No, I guess not,” Edd answered for him, the venom in his voice an unfamiliar sound. What had happened to him since he left?
“Is there anything else you’d like to say? Because if not, then the door is to your left.”
Tord paused yet again. This was nothing like how he imagined; he knew Tom would be mad, he knew forgiveness would be slow, he knew this and he had prepared himself for it but nothing could have prepared him for this.
There was something so alien about Edd, the reserved anger in his eyes, the way he spoke as if he hated every fiber of Tord’s being.
He wasn’t even being given a chance here. Edd had been clear. Say what you wanted to say, then leave.
But there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to apologize for.
But he could see Edd wanted him gone as soon as possible, and he decided to sum it all up the best way he could.
“Do you.. hate me?”
It was an odd thing to ask. A stupid thing, really- of course Edd hated him. Of course he despised him, and who could blame him?
But he wanted confirmation.
And for a moment, Edd softened. The poison drained, the hate in his eyes faded, and Tord almost expected something good to come out of this. He almost expected to see the Edd he once knew, before the robot, before he left, before everything.
And then Edd began to chuckle. And then he laughed.
He laughed as though Tord had just said the funniest thing ever to him. It was an awful sound- it was full of contempt and hate and Tord had heard nothing like it before.
This wasn’t Edd. The Edd he knew had cared for his friends.
....
But they weren’t exactly friends anymore, were they?
Edd stopped, and he looked at Tord, and he grinned.
“Hate you?” He asked incredulously, as though he couldn’t believe the words coming from Tord’s mouth. “I could never hate you, I love you!”
Tord froze up at those words. “You.. what? But I... you shouldn’t love me, Edd, I hurt you. I hurt everyone, why would you--?”
“I know that, Tord!,” Edd added, still in that disbelieving tone. “That’s why I’m telling you to leave. I love you, but I also love Tom, and Matt, and Eduardo and Mark and everyone else you hurt.
And you know what the big difference is between you and them?
They clearly love me back.”
Edd moved from his spot across from Tord, standing up from where he had been leaning against the wall. He paid no attention to the other’s speechless, shocked face as he opened the door and turned back to look at him one last time.
“Now get the hell out of my house, or I’ll make you wish you died in that fucking robot.”