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Waking up and not knowing where the hell he was was scary. Not knowing who the hell he was was even worse. He just sat up in the bed and glanced around, hoping something would make sense. There was only one thing that did feel normal and that was the sterile white around him.
That felt familiar, but he wasn’t sure why.
“Good morning, Steve. I’m glad you’re awake.” A nurse walked in with a patient smile on her face.
It took him a moment to realize he was Steve. That was him. Hearing his name didn’t make anything else make sense. “I’m sorry, ma’am...but where exactly am I?”
“You’re in the hospital.” Her smile faltered. “Do you not remember what happened?”
“I--...” He thought really hard, but… “I don’t remember anything.”
“What do you remember last?”
“No,” he said again. “I don’t remember anything.”
She was definitely frowning now. “You don’t remember anything?”
“No, ma’am,” he responded. Well, that was a lie. He remembered hospitals and he remembered his mother, a beautiful woman with blond hair and big blue eyes teaching him how to be polite to others. “I don’t even remember my name. You told me, but...it doesn’t feel like it belongs to me.”
“I see…” She cleared her throat. “Well, I’m just going to get your doctor in and we’ll figure this out.” She hurried out of the room before her sentence was completely finished.
Steve sat there in bed, waiting for her to return with his doctor. He wasn’t sure what else to do. He didn’t even know what to think. It hurt his head if he even tried to remember too much. He figured the best option was to sit there and wait patiently.
Only a few moments later, the doctor walked in with the same nurse. “Hello, Mr. Rogers. I heard you were awake and I had to come in and check.”
“I’m a little confused, Doctor,” Steve admitted. “I don’t know what is going on.”
“You hit your head,” the doctor told him. “Do you remember none of that?”
“I don’t even know my own birthday,” Steve said. “I only know my name because you two have used it.”
“I’m Doctor Mason,” he introduced himself with a smile and outstretched his arm. Steve took his hand hesitantly. “We’re keeping an eye on you here while you have that head wound. Seems it was a little worse than we thought.”
“How did--?”
“Steve!” Someone else hurried into the room and immediately, when he saw the man, a name came to mind. Tony. It made Steve smile. He made Steve smile.
“Tony,” was all he said because that was really all he knew about the man. He didn’t miss the nurse and doctor’s heads whip to face him.
Tony hurried forward and nodded his head. “Steve, oh my God. I was so worried. You’ve been asleep for almost 32 hours and I didn’t know when you were going to wake.”
“It’s alright,” Steve said just because he didn’t want Tony to worry. He wanted Tony to be happy. Whoever he was. “Are you alright?”
“Now that you’re okay, I am.” Tony grabbed his hand and squeezed it. For a moment even though Steve knew nothing, he knew he was safe with this man. He looked down at his hand and was smiling softly until he saw the ring around his finger. Steve felt his heart drop. He wasn't sure why. He didn't even know who Tony was, so he had no reason to be jealous of whoever put that ring on his finger.
He looked at his own hand and didn't see a ring to match on his finger. He looked back up at Tony, wondering why he was so lucky to have him here at his bedside.
Tony gave him a big smile before glancing over his shoulder. "Hey, Pete. Come here. It's alright."
Before Steve could ask who Pete was, a little head popped into the doorway. He was a tiny little kiddo. Maybe six or seven. He had big brown eyes and curly brown hair...he looked just like Tony.
"Papa…" The little boy said, his fingers gripping the doorway so tight his knuckles were white.
"Papa's here. Come on, baby." Tony still held Steve's hand while he reached out his hand for the child. Tony must be his Papa. That was the only thing that made sense.
The little boy came running in, his sneakers lighting up with each quick step. He grabbed Tony's hand but looked up at Steve with his big brown eyes.
Steve felt awkward under his stare and cleared his throat. "Hey, kid…"
That had Tony look back at Steve with a furrowed brow. "Steve, everything okay?"
"I, uh-- I'm sorry, Tony. I don't remember...him." He looked away from the kid's eyes so he didn't have to see them well up with tears.
Tony laughed a little. "Good one, Steve." Then he realized that Steve wasn't joking. "What...do you mean you don't remember him?"
Steve opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. He looked at the doctor and nurse helplessly.
Thankfully, the doctor took over. "He doesn't remember anything. In fact, the only thing he seemed to remember...was your name."
Tony turned back to Steve. "What? You don't remember--?"
"Papa, it's me. Don't you 'member me?" The kid climbed up the bed with Tony’s help and sat on one of Steve's legs. He settled easily like he knew the position by heart.
It took Steve a moment to realize he was talking to him. "Papa? Who's Papa?"
"That's your son, Steve. Peter."
The revelation made Steve's head pound. "But he doesn't…" Look like me? Feel like mine? Instead he asked, "Who's his mother?"
Tony chuckled, though it sounded a little forced. "Well, I guess if we have to use that label, his mother would be me."
Steve looked up at him with wide eyes. "What? But-- but--."
"We're married, Steve. We have been for almost 10 years now. This is our son, Peter. We adopted him 6 years ago when he was only a few moths old."
"He's... our son?"
Steve glanced back at the little boy, a boy crying silently now because his own father couldn't remember him. That was Steve’s fault. "Can you...I need some time to think."
"Yeah," Tony said, his voice sounding hollow. "Sure." He lifted Peter up and held him close. "Take as long as you need, we'll be right outside."
Peter never took his eyes off of Steve even as Tony walked away from the bed towards the doctor.
"Keep an eye on him please. Get me if anything is wrong."
"Of course, sir," the doctor answered.
"Papa!" Peter yelled when Tony walked towards the open door. "I didn't even get a hug and kiss?!"
Steve looked away immediately, wishing he didn't have to hear the child crying as Tony failed to calm him down.
Doctor Mason came back over to him and spoke softly, "Don't worry, this will get less overwhelming. We'll figure it out."
At least now Steve knew who he was, and he knew he had a family. But sitting in bed, he felt less alone than he did when he first woke up.
Steve knew five things:
- Hospitals were familiar.
- His mother was an angel.
- His name was Steve Rogers.
- He was married to Tony.
- He had a son named Peter.
He kept it written down in a small notepad to keep track of. He hoped that more things would come to mind, but even when he was discharged from the hospital the next day, he still remembered just as little.
Tony brought him back to their apartment, which was a nice penthouse in the middle of Manhattan. So, they had money. Another thing to write down. Tony noticed him writing and tried to peak over his shoulder. Steve didn’t feel the need to hide it. He trusted Tony and that was one of the only things he knew without being told.
“That’s a good list you got going there. If you want I can help.” He put Steve’s overnight bag from the hospital on the ground.
“Where’s, uh…”
“Peter?”
“Yeah.”
Tony sighed. “He’s with a friend. I thought it would be best for him to stay at her house for the first night while you got adjusted. He’s very...clingy, especially now.”
“I’m sorry,” Steve said, squeezing the notepad in his hand. “I don’t...I don’t want to hurt him. Especially if he’s my son. It’s just a lot to take in. I didn’t even think we were married.”
“We are,” Tony whispered and took Steve’s hand. He was silent as he slipped a ring on his finger. “I held onto that while you were admitted. It’s yours.”
Steve wished that brought back a flood of memories, but he stared down and all he saw was a ring. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
“You’re not allowed to apologize for any of this.”
Steve nodded, even though that was easier said than done. He felt like a horrible husband and father for not remembering anything. He couldn’t even remember his family. “I’ll try not to.”
“Thank you.” Tony looked like he wanted to lean in for a kiss, but he stopped himself and instead just gave him a tight smile. “I’ll show you where our room is and I’ll let you settle in. Then maybe we could have a little tour of the place.”
“Alright. Thank you, Tony.”
“No problem, love.”
Love. Steve felt like he didn’t deserve that name, but he didn’t argue it anyway. This didn’t need to be any harder on Tony.
- He got cold at night.
He laid in bed, alone because Tony was giving him the room to himself to be comfortable. Steve thought he’d appreciate that at first, but now that he was laying in bed alone, he wished Tony was besides him.
He was cold and no matter how many blankets he pulled over himself, he still felt a chill.
He was tempted to get up and go find Tony, but he didn’t. He laid in bed all night, until his exhaustion finally won and dragged him to sleep again.
- Steve liked tea in the morning, not coffee.
“What’s this?”
“Black tea. I was doing some research and some studies show that it helps with memory. Luckily, you hoard tea bags so I had plenty to choose from.” He placed the mug in front of him. “You always tell me I drink too much coffee.”
None of it was familiar, but Steve knew he was trying his best. So Steve had to try too. “How many cups a day do you usually drink?”
“I dunno. Eight?”
Steve nearly choked on his tea. “Yeah, Tony. That’s a little too much.”
Tony smiled and kept drinking anyway. “How’d you sleep?”
“I slept fine, thank you,” Steve said, despite the fact that he didn’t.
“Natasha is going to drop Peter off at lunchtime. Maybe we could have another introduction? He’s been pretty upset. He just doesn’t understand.”
“I don’t mean to upset him. He’s your son and--.”
“Ours.”
“Hm?’
“He’s our son.”
“Right. Sorry.” Steve sighed, putting his head in his hands.
“No apologies.”
“This sucks,” Steve sighed.
“Yeah, it does…but we’ll figure it out. We always do.”
- His nickname for Peter was ‘bear’.
A beautiful woman with fiery red hair brought Peter back to the apartment a few hours after breakfast. He stayed away from Steve and hid behind Tony’s legs a lot after Steve didn’t react the way he wanted.
He would come close with a smile or try and sit next to him on the couch, but Steve didn’t say a word or make a movement. He was afraid of doing the wrong thing and making it all worse. As it turned out, doing nothing was also doing the wrong thing.
After an awkward attempt at watching a show together, Peter’s eyes turned red and he ran off out of the room. Tony sighed and his shoulders slumped. “He couldn’t even make it through his cartoons.”
Steve wanted to apologize, but after the dozenth time of getting a look from Tony when he did that day, he learned to keep it to himself. So he clenched his jaw and stared ahead at the TV as Tony got up from the couch and followed the boy to wherever he ran off to.
He emerged almost an hour later, and Steve was still staring at the same television screen as the same show played. He hadn’t moved an inch, just stared blankly at the screen while occasionally blinking. He was still in that same spot when Tony came back.
“He fell asleep for a little nap before dinner.” Tony sat down where he was sitting before, and Steve wondered what they would have done on a normal day when Peter fell asleep. Did they curl up and watch a show that they could only watch when the little one was asleep? Did they spend the time getting to know each other again like they were teenagers? Did they take a nap of their own?
Whatever it was, he doubted it was what they were doing now-- sitting rigidly on the couch with a cushion between them.
When Steve was unable to take the silence anymore, he opened his mouth and said, “Look--.”
That’s when Peter let out a loud cry and Tony immediately jumped to his feet. Steve hesitated before following him up to Peter’s bedroom. Still, he hovered by the doorway instead of going inside.
Tony picked him up effortlessly and cradled him against his chest. “It’s already, baby. Daddy’s here.”
“I miss Papa!”
Tony glanced over his shoulder, but his eyes didn’t meet Steve’s. Then he turned back to Peter. “He’s here, Petey. Just a little lost.”
“He doesn’t even call me bear, Daddy! I thought I was his baby bear!” Peter sobbed harder as his little fists clung to Tony’s shirt.
“You’re still his baby bear, bambino. I promise.” He kissed the top of Peter’s head and Steve made sure before Tony could turn around again, he was gone. He didn’t need to hear Peter’s crying anymore when it was him breaking his heart.
- He and Tony have known each other their whole lives.
Tony didn’t find him until later. Steve didn’t know how much longer. He was sitting on their balcony, curled up, wondering why he couldn’t just remember?
“We adopted him from friends we knew back in college. Mary and Richard Parker. We always babysat him when his parents were on business trips. They didn’t make it home one trip because of a plane crash. He was barely a year old.”
Steve didn’t turn around when he heard Tony behind him. He walked closer and took a seat next to him. Steve still stayed silent.
“He’s six now. You guys...you’re best buds. He follows you everywhere. Literally anywhere you go, he wants to follow you. It’s sweet.”
Steve knew he was just trying to tell him things to help jog his memory, but it just made him feel more guilty. He was curled in on himself and raised his hands to his mouth to try and stop them from shaking.
“He calls you his Papa Bear, and that’s why you call him bear. It’s really cute, I gotta admit.” Tony chuckled softly. “You’re really good with him, though I always knew you would make a great dad.”
Steve cleared his throat, trying to get the conversation off the topic of the poor six-year-old whose heart Steve was breaking. “We met in college?”
Tony’s smile softened. “No. We met in kindergarten.”
That caught Steve’s attention. “Kindergarten?”
“Yup. You saw some kids picking on me, and decided it would be a good idea to take on all three of them.” Tony’s body relaxed as he told the story. “They kicked our asses.”
Steve raised his eyebrows.
“Don’t give me that look, big boy. You didn’t bulk up until sophomore year of high school. You were tiny. I swear, every time you sneezed I thought you were going to break a bone.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I can show you pictures if you want.”
“No, thanks.” Steve sighed. “Unless they’d give me back all of my memories.”
“I can try to give them back.”
Steve didn’t answer because he didn’t think it would work and he didn’t want to hurt Tony’s feelings by turning him down.
“I fell in love with you in seventh grade.”
Even if it wasn’t going to bring back his memories, it got Steve’s attention. “What?”
“Yeah. We were best friends-- practically lived together. Your dad...he was an abusive dick, and my dad, well, he was never home. Always on business. So you and your mom would come to my place. You two spent the night with us more times than not. Our moms were best friends. We had sleepovers all the time. It was amazing.”
“I remembered my mom...she...she looks like an angel when I close my eyes.”
Tony nodded his head. “She sure was. I’m not surprised you remember that.”
“She and my mom knew I was head over heels for you long before I did though. She said they’ve known since you asked me to dance at the second grade mother-son dance. We did, by the way,” Tony added. “We had no coordination, and you even tried dipping me, but it was sweet. Embarrassing nut sweet. The song for our first dance at our wedding was that same song. At Last by Etta James. ”
Steve didn’t know the song. It didn’t bring a tune to mind. He kept that to himself so he didn’t make Tony feel worse. “So I made the first move then, huh?” Steve would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know more of their seemingly perfect love story.
“Officially, it was me. Senior year. After two years of watching the entire school thirst over you, I just...I couldn’t take it anymore. You scored the winning touchdown in our school’s championship game. I was the first one to meet you on the side of the field when you pulled your helmet off. I jumped up and just kissed you.”
“Really? In front of everyone like that?”
Tony shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t shy about my sexuality. It was your first kiss, despite the trail of girls that worshipped the ground you walked on. Sorry for taking that one from you, babe.”
Steve gave him a look. “We’re married now, Tony. I don’t think you stole it.”
“Cheerleaders sure were pissed. They actually thought they had a chance with a hottie like you.”
Steve was silent as he tried to process all of that. He wished it brought back something, instead of just sounding like a corny Hallmark movie. It didn’t, but there was one thing he did know: he was happy with Tony. Tony made him feel relaxed. Even if he couldn’t remember their story, they were meant to be. “Thank you for kissing me.”
“You’re welcome.”
- Steve hated the cold for a good reason.
When he and Tony got to bed, Steve stopped him before he could go sleep in another room again. “Do you mind...laying with me? I slept horribly last night between feeling cold and being alone.”
“Yeah,” Tony said immediately. “Of course.”
They went to their shared bedroom, and got changed into their pajamas. They started laying in bed with a good amount of space between them. Then Tony turned on his side and said, “You can come closer. I know you like cuddling up.”
Steve inched closer hesitantly and intertwined their legs together. Tony was so warm when he pressed against him. He couldn’t help the little moan he let out as he cuddled in closer. The chill that he had since he woke up was finally gone.
“You’re always cold. Ever since seventh grade. We were playing around on a lake near my parent’s cabin in Pennsylvania. We were being idiots. You fell in. When I managed to drag you out...I thought that was it. But by some miracle, you coughed out a mouthful of water and you gasped awake. That...that was when I realized I loved you.”
“Why?”
“Because when I thought I lost you for even a moment, nothing made sense. And that’s when I realized nothing would ever make sense without you.”
Steve held Tony close, almost afraid of Tony’s next answer. “What about now? Am I gone now?”
“No,” Tony said. “You’re right here in my arms. You’re a little lost, but I see in those eyes that you’re here. We’re not giving up on you that quickly.”
“What if you never find me? What if I’m lost and you’re miserable for the rest of my life because of me?”
Tony kissed the top of his head. “Don’t say that. As long as you’re here, I’m happy. Whether we get your memories back or not. We fell in love once, we can do it again.”
“You waited half a decade the last time for me to love you.”
Tony looked up at him with a smile. “I’d wait an eternity for you, love.”
- Peter was his boy in every sense of the word.
Peter was sitting in his room, snacking and playing with his Legos when Steve went to apologize. It had been a few days and they hadn’t had one actual conversation together without Tony there to comfort Peter’s tears.
Steve didn’t want to hurt Peter, and that meant he couldn’t fully ignore him. He was his son, and being ignored by his ‘Papa’ would definitely hurt. Tony was closeby, just in case. He stopped in the doorway and cleared his throat. “Hey, kiddo.”
Peter looked up as he was about to take another pretzel from his bowl. “Hi, Papa! You ‘member me?”
Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “No, I’m sorry…”
Peter deflated slightly. “Oh. That’s okay.”
“I wanted to say sorry about how I’ve been acting. I know it’s probably really weird for you.” Steve didn’t go to move any closer to Peter.
“It’s ‘kay, Papa. It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah…” Steve shifted from one foot to the next.
“You wanna play?’
“Uh--.” He tried thinking of an excuse to get out of there now that he apologized, but when he looked into those big brown eyes, he couldn’t say no. “Sure. Why not.” He took his time walking over and sitting next to Peter. He copied his sitting position and crossed his legs, holding his ankles, waiting for what to do next.
Peter crawled over to a small box and pulled out a half built Lego car. He handed it to Steve and smiled. “You were building this before you got hurt. Wanna finish?”
Steve held the car made out of red, white, and blue Lego pieces. “You sure you want me to change what he made?”
Peter frowned. “It’s yours, Papa. Just ‘cus you don’t ‘member doesn’t mean you’re not you.” He picked up another car, this one was red and blue. “We’re gonna race them.”
“Alright…” Steve wasn’t sure how Legos worked or what was a good technique to build. He wondered if the other Steve did. But he built a small car anyway, mostly cheating by looking at Peter’s car for ideas.
Peter caught him once and giggled loudly, shoving him away. Steve smiled.
When they raced their cars, Peter won, unsurprisingly. He rubbed it in Steve’s face too. “Ha! I won! I was so fast! Did you taste my dust? Did you?”
Steve wondered if Peter picked those words up from Other Steve after he might have won a few races. “Alright, I get it. You win. No need to be a sore winner.”
Peter continued on though. “My car was a million times fast! You were slow like a turtle!”
“That’s it,” Steve said and before he even realized what his body was doing, he was standing up and surging towards Peter. He lifted him in his arms, high above his head and Peter giggled loudly, kicking his legs and arms. Steve lowered his belly to his mouth and blew a raspberry on his tummy, making him laugh even louder. “Who’s the winner now?”
“You, Papa! You!”
Steve brought him down to cradle him in his arms securely. “You got that right, bear.”
Steve hadn’t called him bear because he remembered hearing Peter cry about it a few nights ago. It slipped out like it was a regular word on his lips. It just felt right. It felt like Tony holding him to keep him warm at night.
“Papa,” Peter whispered, eyes tearing up. “You called me bear.”
Steve smiled, kissing the top of his head. “I sure did, Pete. You must have found another piece of my brain puzzle. Thank you.”
“I love you, papa bear.”
“I love you most, baby bear.”
- Steve was an artist.
“Are you...are you drawing?”
Steve looked up from the napkin he was doodling on. They were at a tiny restaurant in Brooklyn. Apparently, it was Steve’s favorite diner. “Uh, yeah?” He looked down to see what he was drawing. It was a motorcycle with a sidecar attached. “Looks like a motorcycle.”
“That’s Phoenix!” Peter said, coming to sit on Steve’s lap.
Tony was right when he said Peter was clingy. Ever since Steve called him bear last week, he glued himself to Steve whenever he had the chance to.
“Phoenix?” Steve parroted.
“That’s your motorcycle. Though, there’s no sidecar. You and Peter keep trying to convince me to let you get one so he can ride, but the answer is still no.”
“Aw, Daddy! Please!”
“Peter Benjamin.”
Peter stopped arguing, but pouted and leaned against Steve’s chest. Steve brought a hand to hold him in a loose hug. He kept it there as he looked down at his drawing. He couldn’t believe how good it was.
“You’re a really good artist,” Tony said in a soft voice, almost admiring his talent as if he saw it for the first time. “Ever since grade school. You’d get sick a lot as a kid and when you couldn’t go out and play, you’d draw. I’d sit with you, never any good at drawing. But a model? I was always happy to be one of your French girls.”
Steve didn't understand the reference or Tony’s wink.
“Oh, that’s right. You won’t remember Titanic or any other movie references.” Tony pondered that for a moment. “That’s actually something. We can rewatch all your favorite movies again and you’ll get to see them for the first time.”
“Finding Nemo!”
“That’s your favorite movie, squirt,” Tony said with a laugh.
“Papa loves it too.” Peter turned in his lap to look up at him. "Right, Papa?"
Steve nodded his head even though his attention was still on the napkin. It was a simple sketch, but even from the sketch, Steve could see that it was actually good.
"I'll show you some of your art books when we get home," Tony offered after a moment when he must have noticed Steve's continued staring. "They're all really good. You're talented, Steve."
Steve spent the next half hour sketching Tony's face just to see if he could. And he could. He did. He smiled down at the napkin and folded it up carefully before tucking it in his pocket. He was going to keep that forever. Even when he got his memories back.
When, not if.
- Steve loved Tony.
"Are you done staring at me?"
"I'm not staring," Steve said, even though he was doing exactly that. They laid down to go to bed a while ago and he thought Tony had already fallen asleep.
Tony peeked an eye open and saw he wasn't telling the truth. "Not staring, huh?"
"You were supposed to be sleeping," Steve said softly.
"How am I supposed to when you're staring at me with those pretty blue eyes?"
Tony was smiling and Steve couldn't help but smile right back. That smile made him feel at home. This is where he belonged. Memories or not.
"Hey, Tony?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
Tony's eyes widened and he froze. "You've never said that-- well, I mean, you have, but not since--well, this is the first time--."
"I know what you mean," Steve said gently. "It's okay."
Tony stared at him for a moment before saying, "It's...it's nice to hear you say it again."
"You want me to say it again?"
Tony hesitated, and his eyes filled with tears. "Only if you mean it. I-I don't want you to say it just because you think I want to hear you say it."
Steve came in closer and cupped Tony’s cheek. "I'm saying it because I love you. Whether I have these memories or not, I am smitten, Tony Stark."
Tony just smiled.
"I love you, and if you'll let me, I'd love to add a few memories to our love story. Whether I remember the rest or not." They weren't starting a new love story. The Steve of now was the same as the old Steve. They weren't different people. Tony wasn't falling in love with another man.
"You know," Tony said. "Some of my favorite memories of ours include you and me with a lot less clothing. There's a lot of ass grabbing and grinding. Sometimes you give me a little strip show before we get to that point."
Steve didn't remember any of that, but he knew that he wouldn't mind it. In fact, he'd probably really enjoy it.
"How about we start with this?" Steve asked before leaning in and pressing his lips to Tony.
It was a chaste kiss and Steve was pulling back only a second later. Tony hummed happily. "Oh, yeah. I love that." He peaked an eye open. "Wait, tell me something."
"Hm?" Steve moved his hand to rest on Tony's back.
"Do you not remember anything anything?"
"I thought we already went through this. I don't." Steve raised an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with that.
"So, you don't remember sex?"
Steve knew Tony was blunt, but even that caught him off guard. "What?"
"You don't remember how good sex is. How good our sex is. It's off the charts. Mind blowing. Record breaking. Toe curling. Fucking perfect."
Steve smiled. "I bet it is. C'mon, it's us."
Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips to Steve's. "Remind me to set up a sleepover at Nat's house for Peter soon.. That way we can be as loud as we want. But for now…" He came in closer and rested his head against Steve's chest. "Let's just lay here like this. Forever."
Steve kissed the top of his head and let his eyes shut. "I'd love nothing more, babydoll."
- Everything.
It wasn't a kiss. It wasn't a picture. It wasn't another bump to the head.
None of that brought back his memories.
It was his boys.
It had been almost 5 months since he lost them and woken up in that memory. His list was pages long and it ranged from little things like Peter's favorite lunch was mac and cheese with crushed potato chips on top to big things like Tony and Steve's first date was at a diner and they even did the most cliche thing of sharing a milkshake with two straws.
They hadn't given up on trying to get them back; Tony and Peter still told him stories every day. Not because they felt pressured to make him remember, but because they liked talking about it all and Steve loved listening.
Today was no different, except he got more stories than usual. It was Peter’s birthday; he was turning seven today-- at exactly 10:32pm.
Peter's party was over and he was all cake and sugar-ed out. It was almost 10:32 and they were curled up in Peter's bed.
"Less than a minute," Tony whispered.
Peter giggled, wriggling in excitement.
"Excited, bear?"
"Yeah!"
"5...4...3...2...1!" Tony shouted before leaning in to kiss one of Peter's cheeks. Steve did the same to his other cheek. "Happy birthday, baby boy!"
Peter melted in their embraces. "Best birthday present ever!"
Steve chuckled. "Is that so? Because last year you said that the remote control car was your favorite, and the year before that was the glow in the dark star stickers. Do you really think kisses from your dads are better than those?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, you think we should give him another round of kisses, doll?" Steve looked up at Tony, but faltered when he saw the look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"You remembered…"
"What?" Steve furrowed his brow.
"I've never told you about those presents. Did-- did Peter?"
"No…"
Tony sat up, careful with Peter. His voice was urgent. "Do you remember anything else? Anything that I didn't tell you?"
Steve racked his brain for something and he found more than he could even say. He had it all, as if it had never left. The painful feeling of everything being on the tip of his tongue but just out of reach was gone.
He chose a memory that Tony didn't share.
"Peter was three. You left us home alone because you had some business meeting. You came home and saw the flat screen television was broken."
Tony nodded slowly.
"I told you Peter didn't wear the strap on the Wii remote while we were bowling…"
"Yes," Tony said, sounding like he already knew where this was going.
"It was actually me. I forgot to put the strap on and it went flying. Broke the television. I bought Peter's silence with a cookie."
"I cannot believe you."
"What? I knew there was no way you could be mad at those big brown eyes--."
"No. You I can believe, Steve. Throwing your own son under the bus? Nice." Then he turned to Peter. "This little nugget is the one I can't believe. Taking the hit for something like that and all he asks for is one cookie?"
Steve laughed along with Peter too. "It was a good cookie!"
"I'm sure it was, squirt." Tony smiled at him and then Steve. "God, it's good to have those memories back, huh?"
"I wished for it when I blew out my candles!" Peter said. "I wished Papa would 'member it all!"
Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his boy's head, his wild curls tickling his nose. "Thank you, bear."
"I changed my mind," Peter said, snuggling between the two of them deeper. "This is the best present I've ever gotten."