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on most days, yoongi would wake up an hour before his boyfriend, gently untangle the clingy bunny from his side, watching fondly as jeongguk flopped over and hugged one of the extra pillows to his chest instead. yoongi would get up and beeline his way to the kitchen for his first batch of coffee before returning to bed with his laptop to get started on the day, jeongguk immediately turning back to him for some sleepy cuddles. the bunny took a long time to actually wake up, and to yoongi, there was nothing cuter than a sleepy jeongguk dragging himself to a sitting position and then flopping back against his side when he couldn’t quite stay awake. yoongi would pet his soft ears, would place soft kisses on his hairline, on his cheek, on the tip of his nose, would wrap his arm around the bunny’s waist to keep him close, warm, safe while he was still struggling to get out of that state of being only half-aware of this world. it was their morning routine, every day, and yoongi loved it.
but today, for the first time since they moved in together a little over a year ago, jeongguk wasn’t there when yoongi woke up. he knew immediately that something was off.
“gguk-ah?” he threw the blankets to the side and got up, listening for a moment, tail swishing anxiously, ears twitching, trying to catch a sound, anything to help locate the bunny. but the apartment was dead silent.
yoongi hurried to check the kitchen, then the living room, bathroom, balcony. he was starting to panic. no jeongguk. nothing was out of place, everything was the same as the night before. except the horrible black ball of anxiety and worry inside of yoongi’s chest, making his breathing harder, getting bigger and bigger by the minute.
he stopped in the middle of the hall, eyeing jeongguk’s shoes that were neatly placed on the top of the shoe rack. so he hadn’t gone out either. there were no messages anywhere, nothing on his phone.
yoongi took a deep breath, tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, and think for a moment. that’s when his eyes found the one place he hadn’t checked yet. his home studio. yoongi moved so fast he accidentally slammed the door open with a little too much force, wincing as the door hit the wall behind it. and then he saw the little bundle curled up on the couch, wrapped in a thin blanket, laptop open on the side, notes scattered all over the floor.
jeongguk raised his head, blinking blearily, a little lost. “what—”
“gguk!” yoongi leaped forward, practically throwing himself on the bunny, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “what are you doing sleeping here? do you know how worried i was when i couldn’t find you?”
jeongguk hummed, still not quite awake, nosing yoongi’s shoulder gently. “i was here.”
“yes, i know that now, but bun, you can’t—” yoongi sighed when he felt jeongguk relaxing in his hold, falling back to sleep. this was clearly a conversation that needed to happen with the both of them present and awake.
yoongi gathered the sleeping bun into his arms and carried him over to the bedroom. jeongguk’s nose was cold against his neck, and some of yoongi’s worry came back. the studio room was always a little chilly, rarely used these days, and the bunny had been sleeping with a tiny blanket, with no covers and no yoongi to warm him up. the winter was here and the nights were getting colder every day.
one more topic to the list of things yoongi wanted to talk about when jeongguk would eventually wake up. he laid the bunny down and tucked him firmly under the covers, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his forehead. jeongguk mumbled something in his sleep, but didn’t open his eyes. yoongi watched him for a beat, then let out a deep sigh and wandered back out, to the kitchen, feeling the need to down three pots of coffee right about now.
jeongguk got up two hours later, ran through the kitchen, took a sip of yoongi’s coffee, scrunched his nose when he remembered he hated black coffee, snatched the jacket yoongi was wordlessly hanging off of his finger, left a quick peck on yoongi’s lips and was out the door within three minutes, with a “good morning, hyung! love you!” shouted before the door slammed shut after him.
and the reality here was just that. they were both really busy, and rarely got to enjoy their mornings together for long after the bunny finally managed to drag himself up. by that time he would already be running late and yoongi would be so deep into work mode that there really wasn’t time to talk.
but after the same thing happened for the fourth time in two weeks, yoongi decided that they were gonna make time. and finally, saturday came, and yoongi woke up to an empty bed. again. he wasn’t even surprised anymore, just walked straight into the studio, picked up his sleeping bunny, and carried him over to their bed. jeongguk was shivering cold, immediately latching onto yoongi’s shoulders, seeking warmth, hiding his face into yoongi’s neck.
it took two hours for the bunny to finally blink his eyes fully open without falling back to sleep two minutes later. yoongi watched as jeongguk sat up next to him, stretched his arms up, yawned loudly and ran his hand through his messy brown locks.
“morning,” yoongi hummed, his attention focusing back on the screen of his laptop.
jeongguk flopped around, landing on his stomach, headbutting yoongi’s thigh. “good morning, hyung,” he smiled sleepily. then jeongguk’s eyes finally found yoongi’s, and he could see a flash of realization behind all the stars when the bunny finally caught up on yoongi’s mood. “ah, hyung, again? i’m sorry—”
yoongi sighed, pushed his laptop to the side, moved his legs to dangle over the side of the bed. “it’s okay.” he picked the half-empty coffee mug from the nightstand and aimed his steps to the kitchen. he didn’t have enough coffee in his system to have this talk. not quite yet.
he knew he was being a little stupid, but there was this blur of a knot inside of him, a horrible mess of feelings, anxiety, insecurity, annoyance, worry. why was jeongguk suddenly sleeping in the studio? was he doing that on purpose? what was going on?
and he knew that to get all the answers, he’d just have to ask. but now that the time had come, yoongi found himself feeling even more nervous when he was finally about to open his mouth and talk for once.
jeongguk followed after him, tugging one of his oversized hoodies on while walking behind him. “what do you mean ‘it’s okay’? hyung, you’re acting weird.” his tone was confused.
to be honest, yoongi wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know anymore. the black ball inside of him had just been growing and growing the more this had happened. and he was getting really tired of carrying those feelings with him, but he wasn’t sure if hearing the answer to his question would make them go away, or just make it all worse. “jeongguk, i’m really not in the mood to—”
he was interrupted by a low growl. jeongguk’s eyes widened and he whipped his sweater paws to his stomach.
yoongi just stared blankly at the bunny hybrid. “when was the last time you ate?”
jeongguk avoided his eyes. “i don’t know. yesterday?” he glanced at yoongi when the older gave no reaction to that and added, his voice a tiny whisper, “—morning.”
“that’s it,” yoongi grumbled. he walked up to the wide-eyed bunny and took a hold of his waist, making him move backwards until his back bumped into the edge of the counter. “sit.” then he turned around, diving into the fridge, and started pulling out ingredients for the biggest breakfast anyone had ever seen.
the bunny hopped up, legs dangling in the air. “are you mad at me?”
yoongi glanced over his shoulder, his expression softening when he saw jeongguk, curled in on himself, bottom lip between his teeth, eyes cast down. “no.” he walked to the bunny, standing between his legs, wrapped his hands around jeongguk’s sweater paws. “i’m not mad at you. i’m worried because you clearly aren’t taking very good care of yourself. can you tell me why?”
“i’ve been busy,” jeongguk mumbled, leaning his head on yoongi’s shoulder, words muffled by the hood of his sweater the bunny was mouthing at.
yoongi let out a low chuckle at his boyfriend’s stubbornness. “that’s what i tell you when you’re on my ass about sleeping and eating and self care. you don’t accept it as a reason so neither will i.” he raised his hands to tilt jeongguk’s chin back, to make the other raise his head and look him in the eyes. “what’s been keeping you so busy? gguk-ah, baby, you know you can always ask me for help, right?”
jeongguk fiddled with the hem of his hoodie, trying to avoid his gaze, but yoongi didn’t let him. “you’ve been working a lot, hyung. and i didn’t wanna bother you. you have enough things to stress about, i didn’t wanna add to that. it’s not fair if all you have to come home to in the evening is me whining about dumb things.”
yoongi’s heart hurt at the words. he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on jeongguk’s lips, trying to erase the tremble in his baby’s voice, trying to make those bad feelings go away. “bun,” he sighed, leaning his forehead against jeongguk’s. “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to make you feel like that. i want you to know, you’re never a bother. ever. if you’re feeling bad, i want to know, always. seeing you happy, making you smile, those are the only things that really matter to me.”
jeongguk was silent for a while, not meeting yoongi’s eyes. “but why?” the whisper was so silent, yoongi had to read his lips to hear it.
he drew back, brow furrowing. “what?”
jeongguk shrugged, ears drooping down, burying his chin inside of his hoodie. “i don’t have anything to offer you. if i start complaining about everything and taking up all of your energy, you’re gonna get sick of me. i should be taking care of you . you work so hard and i don’t wanna be a distraction. i’m not that important.”
yoongi just stared at the bunny and blinked slowly, his brain desperately searching for words and failing, ears twitching once and then dropping flat against his head. “baby, no, why would you—”
“i don’t wanna talk about it,” the bunny mumbled, and yoongi could almost see the brick wall he was building in between them. and he wasn’t about to let that happen.
he raised his hands to cup jeongguk’s cheeks, gently thumbing at his jawline. “bun, i think this is something we have to talk about.” jeongguk’s eyes were still on his lap, lips pressed into a thin line. yoongi sighed, trying to speak as softly as he could. “at least let me say something, okay?”
finally, the bunny raised his eyes to look into yoongi’s. “okay.”
yoongi huffed, defeated, a little lost. “i get that you’re feeling insecure sometimes. that’s okay. we all have those thoughts from time to time, we feel like we’re not enough, like we’re not worth all the love and attention we get.” he traced the outline of jeongguk’s bottom lip with his thumb, and felt the shift of muscles under his fingertips as the bunny swallowed thickly. “i don’t know how to convince you that you deserve everything the world has to offer, and maybe i can’t. but i’m sure as hell gonna try.”
“you—” jeongguk paused to blink, to search for words. yoongi smiled at his pleading expression. “hyung, you don’t have to do that.”
yoongi hummed, moved his hands down to rest on the bunny’s waist, to draw him a little closer to his body. “i don’t. but i want to. gguk-ah, you really don’t see it? you are the key to my happiness. you make me want to be better, to do better, every single day. you’re my biggest inspiration. my prettiest angel, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” he felt a lump in his throat and struggled to speak around all the emotions that were building inside of his chest. “your unhappiness makes me sad. if you’re hurt, i’m hurt too. baby. can you please promise me? promise me, whenever you’re feeling bad, come to me. we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but just, let me at least be there for you.”
jeongguk’s eyes were a little wide, unshed tears sparkling, a few drops getting caught in his lower lash line. “i promise,” he hummed, tugging yoongi a little closer by the front pocket of his hoodie, pressing their lips together again. yoongi smiled into the kiss and let jeongguk swallow all the emotions yoongi had building, threatening to explode inside of him. the kiss was a little salty from the tears that started streaming down jeongguk’s face the second their lips collided, but yoongi just raised his hands to softly pet his thumbs over the wet lines, not breaking the kiss even for a moment. and he felt jeongguk smiling back at him.
and suddenly, the black ball of anxiety came back as he remembered he’d still gotten no answer to his unasked question. he leaned back a little, hands resting on the bunny’s waist, tail curled around his ankle. “gguk-ah? why have you been sleeping in the studio?”
jeongguk’s cheeks flushed pink and he buried his head in yoongi's neck to hide away. “it’s dumb.”
“i’m sure it’s not.” yoongi started rubbing circles into jeongguk’s sides. “i mean, it is dumb to sleep there, you’re gonna catch a cold, but i’m sure you have a good reason. wanna tell me? also, i can’t believe you’ve managed to sneak past me so many times, we always go to sleep at the same time, but somehow in the morning you’re just gone.”
“it’s you,” jeongguk mumbled into his neck, lips moving against his collarbone, putting an end to yoongi’s nervous rambling. “it’s the closest thing to you i could get.” after yoongi’s confused head tilt, he continued, “so, i have this huge project due at the end of the week and i don’t know, working in the studio calms me down, helps me concentrate. i haven’t been able to sleep, i’ve been so stressed about it. i’m sorry, hyung, i never meant for it to become a habit. i didn’t mean to make you worry. ”
now yoongi’s heart was hurting from a different reason. “baby.” he hugged jeongguk tighter to his chest. “you’re so cute, did you know that?”
“not cute,” jeongguk grumbled, but there was a smile in his voice. he raised his head up to press his lips on the corner of yoongi’s mouth, humming softly, his body finally relaxing in yoongi’s hold.
“the cutest.” yoongi nodded. “but you’re not gonna do that anymore. you’re gonna tell me about these things, and hyung is gonna help you.”
jeongguk hesitated. “but what if you’re—”
yoongi didn’t let him finish. “i’m never too busy for my baby. i’m sorry i made you feel like that. but believe me when i say, you’re my number one priority. always.”
“and you’re mine.” jeongguk’s eyes sparkled when he looked up at yoongi. he loved that sparkle. never wanted to see it gone. “i love you, hyung. so much.”
“i love you too bun. more than you know.”