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Levi's pretty sure Eren’s eyes can't get any wider. He's gone speechless, head whipping back and forth as he tries to take it all in. There's an endless blue stretching out in front of them as far as they can see, and sand beneath their feet - and Levi's still not entirely sure how Eren managed to convince him to take off his shoes. Can feel the wet sand squishing between his toes and it's disgusting, but Levi can't seem to make himself care. Keeps staring at Eren's awestruck expression while his heart slams against his chest.
"This is incredible," Eren breathes. "I . . . I wish Armin could be here. He's the one who told me about the ocean, you know."
"I know," Levi murmurs, gently. He knows a lot about this stupidly optimistic kid.
"It's -" Eren manages to turn his head away and stares at Levi with wide eyes, like Levi's hung the moon. "It's beautiful, Captain, I - I don't know what to say."
"You mentioned," Levi says slowly, "that you've always wanted to see the ocean." Hesitates. And then - screw it. "I . . . wanted to be the one to show you."
Eren sucks in a breath and stares - if possible - even harder at Levi. It's - uncomfortable, to say the least, because Levi gets the feeling that this stupid little kid can see right through him. And Eren probably can, at this point. It's been a hellish few years and Levi's - Levi's never been more scared of losing someone, and it's awful. But now, now - the past is behind them. The walls and all the regulations are behind them, long forgotten in the glow of the setting sun. The titans are a fading memory. There's only Levi, and Eren, and the small cottage just over the hill.
"Captain, I -"
"Levi."
"I - What?"
Sighs. "We're outside the wall, Brat. I'm not your captain out here. Besides, I -" Swallows. "I'm not going back to the survey corps when this is over. There's no need. Humanity is saved. They don't need me anymore."
Eren's smile is gentle. "There will always be bad people in this world," he says softly. "That's why we can't completely get rid of the police force. But - you're right. They don't need you anymore. You've done your duty, and now it's time for you to rest and relax."
Swallows again. Reaches out, blindly - takes Eren's hand, and leads him back towards the horses, toward the cabin.
The afternoon is gone before Levi even realizes. Dark falls - and he's tired and sore from a hard days ride, and keeping his eyes open is getting harder and harder. Eren's nodding off where he's propped up on his hand, flipping through one of Levi's books. Shuts it, suddenly, and arches his back.
"I think it's time for bed," he mumbles around a yawn. Stands - and ignores the bed. Walks over to where Levi's sitting on the couch and tugs on his wrists until Levi stands and pulls him over to the bed, the only bed in the tiny cabin. Levi was planning on sleeping on the couch - but if this bright-eyed teenager wants Levi to sleep next to him, well, Levi'd be a fool to say no. Slips under the blankets and lays on his back and stares at the ceilings. Eren's a warm line pressed against his side, and Levi bites his lip. He could do it - he could turn onto his side and tug Eren closer and press their lips together. It'd be easy, easier than anything else he's had to do in his life. But - he can't move, can't make himself close that distance. So he closes his eyes, instead, and tries to pretend that he can't feel Eren's hand next to his.
Isn't sure when he falls asleep - there are images flashing through his mind, of course there are; flashing eyes and staring eyes, hands and limbs separated from their bodies, leering faces, a flash of fire - and he's pretty he whimpered, at least once. Eyes fly open. Goes rigid, entire body tensing up. He's sitting up, leaning against Eren's chest, and Eren's arms are around his waist.
"I - sorry, Cap - Levi, I -" Eren clamps his mouth shut. Doesn't pull away.
There's a hand rubbing up and down his back, and it's maddening. Feels like being protected, like Eren cares about him the same way Levi cares about him, and it's been a damn long time since he's felt that way about anyone. So Levi does exactly what he shouldn't do. Leans back and rests his head against Eren's shoulder and sags against him, letting Eren hold him up. Presses his face against Eren's neck and just breathes, just lets himself relax into Eren's arms.
"Do you always have nightmares?" Eren whispers.
"Yes." It's better to be honest, at this point. Can't pretend like this doesn't happen all the time - and Levi should be used to it by now, he should, so why is he still shaking?
Eren's fingers brush through the little hair he has and curl against his neck. Levi shivers and presses closer. Can't be close enough to Eren. Feels - doesn't know how he feels, and doesn't think freaked out would cover it right now. Needs to do something other than just sit there and let Eren take care of him.
So he pulls back and ignores the way Eren's eyes flash with disappointment. Lowers his eyes - whispers thank you, just loud enough for Eren to hear - and lays back down, on his side, with his back turned towards Eren. Waits the excruciating thirty seconds it takes for Eren to stop staring at him and lay back down, closer than before - and he's not sure he's going to survive the night.
Then Eren's arm slips around his waist. Eren's hand tangles with his, fingers matching perfectly. Levi's biting his lip hard enough to draw blood - and he wants more, wants to be closer, but doesn't know what he should do.
"You're not my captain anymore," Eren murmurs. "And I'm nineteen. I can make my own decisions."
It's the only warning Levi has - he's yanked back against Eren's chest. Both of Eren's arms are around his waist, now, and Eren's face is pressing into the back of his neck. Shivers when Eren presses a kiss to the exposed skin there.
"What are you doing, brat?" Tries to make his voice as unfriendly as possible - and, fuck, he sounds shaken, still, from his nightmare. Fuck.
"Helping," Eren replies. "You look like you need this. And - and I've wanted this for . . . for a while, now. Ever since the beginning."
Fuck.
Yanks his hand back like he's been burned and turns to face Eren. Swallows past the affection and fixes his best icy glare on the kid's bright eyes.
"What makes you think I want this?"
Eren just grins. "The way you were looking at me out there. And for the last two years."
Had he really been that obvious?
Doesn't know what to say. Can't remember the last time he wanted something this badly. Swallows, and keeps his eyes down. He's shaking again, he knows, but he can't seem to stop.
"Hey, shh." Eren presses a kiss to his forehead. "Just . . . go back to sleep, okay? I'm not expecting an answer tonight. But I'm . . . I'm here, okay? If you need help with the nightmares. You're not alone." Holds his arms out - an offer, this time.
And - alright, Levi can do this. If this bright-eyed, naive, beautiful teenager wants him, he's not going to argue. Shifts forward, just enough to put his head on Eren's arm, but Eren's got a different idea. Tugs him even closer, so that Levi's head ends up tucked against Eren's chest. Pulls his knees up towards his chest and just lays there, with Eren's hand rubbing across his back. Fists his hands in Eren's shirt and just holds on and breathes until Eren's light snores - damn, that kid can fall asleep fast - start to soothe him back to sleep.
He could get used to this.