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The incessant chirpings of birds and insects, so high-pitched they were hardly audible, underscored with the baritone grunts and snaps from the massive animals casting brutal shadows over the jungle, shook the air from its place of quiet resting, swirling the moisture in the breeze and the oppressive heat into motion. The great murmurs of the forest found their way to the listening ears of the young black man kneeling by a flowing river from which a pungent light mist constantly rose.
Usopp stared at his own reflection in the yellowed surface of the river, standing up after a second to see the rest of himself. Since his only upper body garment was tied around his waist, he could tell he’d lost most of the weight from his initial gluttony spree, save some hanging sections of his stomach and upper arms and puffiness in his face. His hair, now done up in twists lest its sheer girth obstruct his movements, spread out in all directions from his head, not unlike Mr. 5’s. His dark brown skin had gone even darker in the tropical environment, but there was one pitfall.
“God,” he muttered, rubbing at his elbows. “I’m ashy as hell.” He got on his knees and cupped his hands together, dipping them in the river and sipping the broth that flowed through it. The broth was hearty, and cool, but it was as delicious as everything else on Greenstone. Sadly, Usopp’s first attempts to bathe in it had been...abortive. Maybe there’s a lotion plant, he thought, idle. He wouldn’t doubt it, but he knew that there was nothing like that here.
Heracles had explained the workings of the “islands” that made up the Boin Archipelago to Usopp not long into his lessons. Greenstone produced mainly perishable foods, but the other Stomach Barons, in addition to housing increasingly exotic Pop Greens, also had specialties: the next one over, Life Valley, grew all manner of trinkets and paraphernalia; Little Basin produced cosmetics; Mesa Rojo abounded with weapons and articles of war; and Earth Cave, the last and most dangerous, was filled with both plants that produced living animals and Pop Greens that mimicked the giant beasts that landed there. Usopp had spent the a few months conditioning on Greenstone, but felt he was long since ready to move on.
Shuffling noises in the bush were all the hint Usopp needed: he snatched Kabuto off the ground and leaped across the river, putting some distance between his target and himself. He didn’t even look back at it; he’d refined his senses enough that he knew where it was. The deep sound its footfalls made, coupled with the shaking earth, let him know he was dealing with a heavy creature, and its breath and movement made him sure it was mammalian. After fifteen tense seconds, he made another flying jump into the branches of a nearby tree, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the necessary ammunition. He let fly without ever seeing his opponent, but the explosion and subsequent squeal as the Firebird Star struck it was telling enough.
Usopp dropped down from the tree to see what he’d shot, and it turned out to be a fairly large boar. Just as he was nearing it, another sound from behind it made him raise Kabuto, only to see Heracles vaulting out of the bush. Usopp flopped down crosslegged on the ground.
“Got ‘im,” he said, nudging the dead beast’s head with Kabuto. Heracles huffed.
“But you did not use Pop Greens’n,” Heracles replied. “I do not like that as much.” Usopp breathed out a long, slow breath. Heracles was temperamental, but high-spirited and easily manipulated. A master liar such as himself could easily get his way with a man like Heracles, but he hadn’t wanted to. Now it looked like the alternative was getting no stronger for the rest of the two years unless he was willing to butter up his teacher. Lies for Luffy are fine, he told himself.
“I have learned from your example,” he said, smiling up at Heracles. “You’re a great teacher. Heck, I’ve already outgrown Greenstone, and it’s all thanks to you! Why, I was just meaning to ask when you planned on getting us to the next island...” Heracles puffed himself up a little.
“Well, thank you, Usopp’n! But...I do not have many of the Pop Greens required for travel. If we go out from here, we must go all the way to Earth Cave to collect more for the return trip.” Usopp was glad he was sitting. Had he been standing, the prospect of traveling to the most dangerous island, would have set his knees to knocking, and it would have been months yet before Heracles could be brought around again.
“That’s fine! I’m not afraid if you’re with me, Heracles.” Usopp thought he could almost feel the blush emanating from the warrior.
“Alright, Usopp’n. Gather food and whatever supplies you need, as Greenstone’n will eat them while we are away.” This ended up taking less time than Usopp thought it would, as he’d only brought his slingshot and clothes with him. He gathered up all the food he could, split it into two piles, and wrapped them up in leaves before handing one to Heracles and slinging one over his own back.
“How are we going to get there?” he asked, once all the preparations had been made. “We can’t escape the island, right?” Heracles smiled.
“Not from the ground, Usopp’n.” Usopp’s gentle smile faded away very slowly as Heracles continued. “We will blast ourselves up with a particular Pop Green that only appears on Earth Cave’n, and then use a Trampolia to bounce ourselves to Life Valley’n. My cape will be our parachute.”
“I’m not sure that’s a great ide—” Heracles’ hand was already poised to throw, and Usopp’s words died in his throat as the seed hit the ground between them. A massive plant in the shape of a wolf pushed them both into the air, and then the nose effing exploded, launching them so high into the air that Usopp could see the islands of the Boin Archipelago trailing off into the distance. Life Valley was surprisingly close, and there was a timeless moment at the zenith of the arc where Usopp could have sworn he’d never seen a sight more beautiful.
Then the descent started.
Air streaming into his eyes, Usopp’s sniper instincts nonetheless kicked in. They were going to hit that Trampolia so fast it would break Heracles’ knees if he hit it from a standing position, and Heracles wasn’t going to let him move on by himself. If Usopp wanted to keep moving through the Archipelago, he had to keep his teacher intact. With this in mind, he grabbed Heracles and turned him so his armored stomach was face down, then gripped his back for all he was worth and screamed his lungs out. He figured Heracles wouldn’t be able to hear him. The masked warrior took the impact of the tree line, smashing through them easily, and he tossed down another Pop Green that sprouted into Trampolia instants before they struck it and bounced at a lower angle in the direction of Life Valley.
Usopp managed to stop screaming in time to pull on Heracles’ cape, which turned out to be retractable and expanded into a full-size parachute that Usopp held onto for dear life as it slowed down their angular descent towards the island. His arms screamed in pain at having to hold the cape against the implacable, seemingly rock-hard air beneath it, but he held on, the new muscles he’d built finally paying off. They floated down to Life Valley and made a hard, but safe landing on its rich dark soil.
Usopp clambered down off of Heracles, who spat out a mouthful of dirt.
“Well done, Usopp’n!” he announced, raking across his tongue with his fingers. “Next time...we will get you a parachute of your own.” Usopp rubbed his hair sheepishly.
“Hah, okay. Listen, how did your cape do that? It’s just fabric, right?” Heracles laughed.
“Of course not’n! It’s a plant product, just like the food on Greenstone. The seeds inside let it lengthen into a parachute—and the Para Shrubs that produce this fruit grow on this island. Greenstone is the Isle of Plenty, but this is the Isle of Industry! Any trinket you might want is here, Usopp’n.” To demonstrate, Heracles reached up into a nearby tree and plucked a pair of goggles down, removing the small plant stem from the top and tossing them over. Usopp turned them over in his hands and then put them on, the flexible band on the back wrapping around his head.
“These are better than store-bought!” he exclaimed, tapping the lenses. “And fingerprint-proof! What are these lenses made of?” Heracles chuckled.
“The sap of the tree! Go on, explore. I will do my own gathering while I wait for you’n.” Usopp ran off into the forest, armed as usual but more excited than anything else. All manner of interesting things were growing on the trees, ripe for the taking—clothing, gloves, shoes, dowsing rods, camping equipment, and endless little pouches teased his eyes wherever he walked. He grabbed one of the latter and found that it contained subcompartments, making it a perfect carrier for Pop Greens, and clipped it to the belt of the pants he’d picked up seconds before.
Most prized of his finds, though, was a small black slingshot that grew from the ground like grass. A little tinkering with it revealed that it was hollow, perfect for placing dials in, but also had a tense flexibility. It wasn’t brittle enough to snap, but it’d resist him a little. It was pure accident that his toe scraped the soil the slingshot had been growing in, and he realized how much it differed from the rest of the dirt on the island. He pinched some between his fingers. It was incredibly dry.
Usopp fumbled for his new canteen and carefully poured water on it. The slingshot sprang up to the size of original Kabuto in seconds, surprising him in the most pleasant way possible. A weapon that changed its size with water would be incredibly useful. But the reactivity of the slingshot to water had given him an idea. He ran back to Heracles at his top speed, easily covering the ground.
“Heracles!” he exclaimed. His teacher turned around slowly.
“Yes?”
“Name all the native plants that react to water!” Heracles scratched his beard.
“Beetlejuice, Banana Boat, Chomping Grass...” Usopp leaped into the air.
“Chomping Grass! Does that appear on this island?” Heracles seemed bemused by his excitement, but shook his head.
“You may have some of mine’n,” he said, and produced a seed, which Usopp promptly placed inside the slingshot and watered. Strands of the stuff immediately burst out of the ends and formed strings, while a large carnivorous plant head replaced the ammo bag and began eating all the things on the ground nearby. Once it had filled its appetite, Usopp hesitantly fired, and a stream best compared to grapeshot flew out of his new weapon. The Chomping Grass quickly retracted as the water ran out, and the slingshot shrank back to normal size, leaving Usopp with a relatively small slingshot with a perfectly normal ammo bag.
“Whoa,” said Usopp. Heracles concurred, in a lot more words.
There wasn’t much small talk with Heracles. He was a good, steadfast man, and talkative, but the kind of conversation Usopp really, truly missed was a kind he couldn’t get from Heracles. Usopp craved talking to Sanji in the kitchen while he enthused about All Blue, or chatting with Nami about scientific topics most of the others wouldn’t understand while he cut her hair. Heracles was kind and good, but Usopp didn’t need kindness or goodness. He needed his crew.
Months came and months went, and Usopp found that even though, after a trip to Little Basin had cured his ashiness and given him enough hygiene and beauty products to put his hair in dreadlocks like his dad’s and get back the great skin he’d had on Syrup Island, he wasn’t satisfied. Sure, his gut had been replaced with abdominals that he caught himself staring at when he walked past bodies of water, but what were abs without Robin to chuckle over how he’d really turned into a man? What were dreadlocks without Luffy chatting for thirty minutes about how great a shot Yasopp had been? In dissatisfaction, he approached Heracles halfway through the second year.
“I don’t think there’s any point to me staying here any longer,” he said, slowly. Heracles looked at him.
“Why, Usopp’n? I thought you were training.” The hurt in his voice was palpable, and Usopp felt terrible.
“I am! But I’ve conquered these islands. I’m not even afraid to go to Earth Cave anymore, and I don’t even need to go with you to protect me. I think it’d be best if I went out on the ocean and...I don’t know. But I feel like sitting here marking days isn’t going to make me strong enough to face my captain.” Heracles nodded.
“I understand. If you can escape, I will not attempt to stop you.”
The next morning, Usopp dropped into a Boaty Banana as gently as a mother’s kiss, using Fan Grass as makeshift oars. He waved back at Heracles, and somehow couldn’t shake the feeling that he was committing elaborate suicide.
“Alright,” he said to himself. “I’m going to do this. I’m going to be a brave warrior of the sea!”
“Hey! Hey! Are you alive?” Usopp cracked his eyes open and was greeted by the harsh burn of the sun. His entire body felt gritty and uncomfortable. He opened his canteen and found that the waterproofing was effective: its contents were warm, but fresh. After wetting his throat, he sat up.
He’d landed on a beach. All he remembered was the storm, which even the Merry could have made it through, but his Boaty Banana hadn’t had a hope. He was lucky to be alive, even if his whole body was crusted with salt.
“Of course I’m alive!” he announced loudly. “For I am the great Usopp, God of Snipers!” The young girl who’d spoken to him, brown from the sun and with short dark hair, jumped back and took off at a run. He sprang to his feet and followed, his incredible running ability enabling him to easily keep up with her.
“Don’t follow me! You’re a stranger!” she said, taking turns to try and shake him off. “The Fishmen will kill you!” Fishmen? Usopp thought to himself. What on earth could be the issue with Fishmen? Remembering Arlong, he fell back and followed the girl in stealth, and she led him back to a small village hidden in the trees. A small scuffle was occurring in the center of the houses.
“You stole my fish! Bastard!” The speaker, a tall white man with a rifle slung over one shoulder, snapped his fingers. Two Fishmen stepped forward. One held the villager still, and the other reared back and punched him in the stomach. The villager heaved, attempting to vomit but having little to throw up. “You know what pirates like me do to thieves?”
“Papa, Papa!” shouted the girl who’d woken Usopp at the beach. “Don’t kill my Papa!” Usopp was reminded horribly of the death of Nami’s mother and raised his slingshot.
“Kill him,” said the white man. Usopp fired, and the Fishman holding the villager was replaced by a roiling pillar of flame. “What the hell was that?” he asked, as the punching Fishman’s fist hit air. The villager had fallen down. “Never mind, just kill him!” Usopp fired again, and this time vines sprang up from the ground and squeezed the Fishman unconscious. Seconds later, Usopp whistled and thorns sprang out of the vines, stabbing the knocked-out soldier.
“I don’t like bullies,” said Usopp, walking out of the trees at the edge of the village. There were four hundred yards between his position and the village center, and he was hardly visible, much less audible. He raised his voice. “I DON’T LIKE BULLIES!”
“AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” asked the pirate, raising his rifle. Usopp smiled, knowing the man would see it through his scope.
“Usopp, God of Snipers!” he announced, and let fly. The pirate was immediately swallowed by gigantic carnivorous plants. “Anyone else want some?” The villagers stood gaping at the two defeated Fishmen and the pirate, all beaten by an enemy so far away they could only tell he was dark-skinned. Then they all burst into cheers, running down the road toward an Usopp who wasn’t sure whether to run towards them or away. His decision was made for him when they reached him, lifted him up into the air, and carried him on a wave of jubilation back to their village.
An impromptu party started, and suddenly Usopp was back in his element, drinking and laughing with the people of the town. They plopped a gigantic fried fish the size of a dog in front of him and kept filling up his mug with sake while they celebrated their sudden liberation.
“Why were the attacking you, anyway?” asked Usopp when things had calmed down a little. One of the older women spat on the floor.
“A while back, a rookie pirate called “Captain” Kid came through here. Until he showed up, hardly anyone knew this island existed, and we made a good living off the fishing. He killed our chief for insulting him, and bragged about all the money he stole in the next island over. Next thing you know, pirates never leave us alone anymore.” The old woman shook her head. “It’s not good for simple fishing folk to live in fear of pirates. If only we had a few more sharpshooters like you...” Usopp looked at the rifle the pirate, who was now a lump in the plant, had dropped on the ground, then picked it up.
“Have you got any more guns like this around?” he asked. The old woman clicked her tongue.
“There’s a rifle and a pistol on this island for every head,” she replied. “Weren’t any good against “Captain” Kid or those Fishmen, but I reckon if bullets can stop a thing we could stop it here.” Usopp fired the rifle suddenly. Across the town, someone who was taking advantage of the celebration to steal found a bottle of beer exploding in their hands.
“I can teach the villagers to shoot if you’ll give me a bigger boat to sail on when I leave,” Usopp suggested. He hadn’t been accustomed to shooting guns, but it wasn’t hard. He could see why his father liked them so much. In any case, the old woman, who turned out to be the village head, readily agreed, and he spent the next few weeks teaching everyone big enough to handle the recoil how to use a pistol and rifle, along with little snatches of self-defense he’d learned from Heracles.
A few of the villagers quickly showed themselves to be the best of the shooters. The young girl of thirteen who’d found Usopp at the beach, Chunk, was excellent even when using two pistols, which Usopp knew was supposed to be less accurate; Chunk’s fifteen year old brother, Coco, was mute and mostly deaf in one ear, but was almost as good as his sister with a rifle and twice as good at physical fighting. Finally, a woman named Hali, darker than Usopp and with two children, could not only shoot, she could throw knives with deadly accuracy.
When the time came for Usopp to set sail again, the villagers gave him a wonderful send-off. Not only did they make him several new suits of clothing and a flower box to grow Pop Greens in, they gave him honor by firing their rifles off as he departed. They shouted and yelled as he took off in their best fishing vessel, flying no flag and plain sails.
Sighing with satisfaction at the good treatment, Usopp, rested back against the mast and waited.
“You can come out, now. I know you’re there.”
“Aww!” whined Chunk, popping out of a barrel on the deck. “Captain Usopp’s always so observant!” Coco climbed out of the barrel after her, carefully watching everyone’s lips. Chunk was carrying two pistols, Coco had a rifle tucked into a purple sash, and both carried knives. Meanwhile, Hali popped out of another barrel.
“Sorry about this, Captain,” she said, sounding a little sheepish. “I’m not normally this impulsive, but you wouldn’t have let us come with you any other way...”
“What do you mean, ‘Captain’?” asked Usopp, even though he was starting to suspect what was going on.
“We want to make a pirate crew with you!” chirped Chunk, patting her pistols. “We can shoot good, and we wanna see the ocean with you, Captain Usopp! Please?” Usopp looked down at all their hopeful faces, brown and turned up towards him, with the exception of the taller Hali. He sighed. He had asked for adventure, and he was going to get one.
“Alright,” he said, and before the cheers could get too out of hand, he added, “but I am already a member of a pirate crew! I won’t tell you which one, but I will have to return to my original crew in a few months. Are you all fine with that?”
“Yes!”
“Absolutely!”
Coco, being unable to talk, nodded. Usopp grinned.
“Then let’s set sail, Sniper God Pirates!” They all busied themselves designing a Jolly Roger. Usopp decided on his personal one: a side profile of a skull with his dreadlocks and sun hat, with the Black Kabuto next to it. He raised this on the mast and the largest sail, and soon they began to feel like a proper crew.
“Oi, Yasopp.” Bleached dreadlocks swung around at the sound of the voice of their owner’s captain. “Come here. There’s something I think you want to see.” Yasopp abandoned his chess game and walked over to Shanks, disappointing Benn Beckman, who’d been setting up a mate for twenty moves.
“What’s up, Cap?” he asked, scratching his head. Shanks showed him a bounty poster, obviously torn from a wall. Yasopp read it aloud. “Wanted dead or alive...’Sniper God’ Usopp, for twenty million beli?” Yasopp laughed aloud. “What happened to ‘Sniper King’, eh? That’s my boy!”
“I can’t believe he’s off pirating without Luffy,” said Shanks, rubbing his beard growth. “But I suppose that’s between the two of them. He always did want to be a captain, right?” Yasopp nodded.
“Reckon so. But snipers are made for support. He’ll go back to his captain when he’s good and ready.” All the same, Yasopp rolled up the bounty poster and took it back to his room to hang next to the one he’d collected back when the Strawhat Pirates invaded Enies Lobby.
“‘Sniper God’,” started Robin, clutching the newspaper as she read the headline out to Sabo and Koala. “‘Sniper God’ Usopp, a rookie pirate of unknown origins, has done it again! With no regard for safety or decorum, he and his motley crew of sharpshooters invaded a royal wedding and shot all the pearls off the bride’s dress— without harming her at all! In the wake of his former exploits, including the highly publicized Goldfish Feces Incident and his defeat of a Navy Captain, many civilians are criticizing the move of Marine HQ, saying it encourages the rise of stronger pirates in Paradise. More on page twelve.” A large black and white spread of Usopp’s bounty poster, which depicted him grinning as light winked off his goggles, was front and center, while those of his subordinates ‘Bare Feet’ Chunk, ‘Purple Flag’ Coco, and ‘White Baroness’ Hali, worth fifteen million, ten million, and nineteen million respectively, were shown below him.
“Isn’t he one of Luffy’s pirates?” asked Sabo, sitting on the floor with his back resting on Koala’s legs. “I’m surprised he’s off by himself.” He sounded a little grumpy that anyone might abandon his precious brother.
“Sometimes a man made to serve needs to get the fire out of his system,” said Koala, “just like your Ace did. Let him be a ‘Spade’. He’ll rejoin his ‘Whitebeard’ given time.”
“I confess,” Robin murmured, “I love what he’s done with his hair.”
“Mistress Kaya! Mistress Kaya!” Onion, Carrot, and Pepper stood outside the low window.
“Did you scrape yourself up on the cliff again?” called Kaya from inside the house. “I don’t have enough bandages to keep up with you kids!” She sounded cheerfully exasperated, but came to the window nonetheless. “None of you look hurt...”
“Mistress Kaya,” panted Onion, “you have to see this.” He held out a brown piece of paper, and Kaya stared at it for several seconds before bursting into peals of laughter.
“That Usopp!” she cried, wiping away a tear. “He’ll have so many stories to tell me when he returns, and I’ll have no choice but to believe him, the scoundrel!”
“Nice hat, Usopp.” Usopp looked up from his sake, then up to his hat as if he’d forgotten he was wearing it. It was a marvelous green tricorn hat to match his hooded longcoat and red sash. Boin had taught him the value of not wearing shirts, and he never felt comfortable in them. “That Jolly Roger is different, though...”
“Don’t worry, Nami,” he said, touching the hat gently. “I’m about to go abdicate my captainship. I’ll always be a Strawhat.” He stood to leave and didn’t notice her following him to Grove Forty-two of Sabaody Archipelago, where a massive group of pirates, kept in check by his three famous commanders, was waiting on their captain to set sail in the “Lady Kaya”, their ship. Taking a spot on a large outcropping, Usopp took off his hat and shouted so everyone would hear him.
“SNIPER GOD PIRATES!” he yelled over the din, and all fell silent. “I know what you’re all expecting. You’re ready to go to the New World, right? You want to me to lead you to One Piece. But I have news for you.
“I can’t do it.” Gasps greeted his words. The pirates set to muttering. “I can’t! I can’t because I’m a good sniper, and a good captain, but no matter how good I am, there’s no way around it. Monkey D Luffy is the man who’s going to be the King of the Pirates! And I, ‘Sniper King’, ‘Sniper God’, Usopp, have to be by his side every step of the way to make sure he gets there.” Usopp’s commanders, standing next to him, looked over in concern.
“But I’m not leaving you alone. You will have a new captain.” Usopp removed his hat and placed it on Hali’s head. “Now, do me a favor! Don’t ever go to the New World! You will only find pain, death, and defeat there! You aren’t ready! Instead, travel the beautiful world, shoot straight, and make your own Sniper Island in your hearts!” Usopp jumped down from the platform, and the pirates, silent, parted for him. “As of this moment, I resign as captain of the Sniper God Pirates!” As one, his old troops burst into cheers and hollers, wanting to show their captain their feelings, and even as Usopp turned to find Nami waiting for him, he couldn’t hold back tears for his friends.
Marines burst in from the commercial area, rifles lowered and ready, but the Sniper God Pirates were ready for them.
“Protect Usopp!” howled Hali, and the Snipers opened fire on the Marines, shooting to disable but not to kill. Usopp and Nami took off toward the grove where Thousand Sunny rested, chatting as they went.
“Nice hair!” said Nami, pointing to Usopp’s long dreads.
“You, too! I’ve got some fantastic plants that will make your hair shine, let me tell you—did you want a cut?” Nami nodded.
“Yeah! I want that “Women have guts” look!” Usopp scoffed.
“That was popular a decade ago!” Nami smacked him upside the head, just as the Sunny came into view. “God, but she’s a beautiful ship.”
“God? Do you swear by yourself now?” Nami teased, poking him in the side. Usopp groaned.
“Any chance you’re gonna let that go?” Nami stuck out her tongue.
“Nope.”
“I found a new species of fish while I was at Pink Island,” Sanji said, smiling widely. “It was as big as a horse and tastier than Elephant Tuna! Just imagine the kinds of things I’ll find at All Blue!” His eyes were wide and shining, and Usopp could feel something warm and soft in him melt at finally hearing about All Blue in the kitchen again while Sanji cut vegetables for dinner. “Oh, hey, you’ve buffed up! Looking good, ‘Sniper God’!” Usopp clapped a hand to his forehead and groaned as Sanji laughed his way over to the oven, and thanked all the gods in heaven that he’d always have his crew.