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Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 1
White lotus Luo Binghe is a weapon of mass destruction.
At least, that’s what Shen Qingqiu fully believes as he’s met head on with an adoring stare from said weapon, who’s currently gazing up at him with large glittering eyes. His smooth, black hair falls loosely around his face and frames his eyes, looking so soft that Shen Qingqiu has to physically restrain himself from patting it.
Luo Binghe’s gaze is eager, and at the tender age of fifteen, he’s still small in size and stature. Despite this, he’s no longer all skin and bones, ever since Shen Qingqiu transmigrated a few months back and started hugging Luo Binghe’s thighs— starting from providing the basic necessities and feeding him properly, to ensuring that he’s no longer bullied by anyone on the peak.
Binghe bears an uncanny resemblance to an overly excited puppy especially with his small stature, and Shen Qingqiu thinks he even sees phantom images of a fluffy back tail wagging enthusiastically behind him, which shouldn’t be possible. Perhaps he should pay Mu Qingfang a visit and request for a checkup…? Seeing such hallucinatory images could not possibly be a good sign; weren’t such symptoms indicative of a qi deviation?
Shen Qingqiu paused in his thoughts, considering.
Yes, that was probably it.
The phantom images he was seeing, the weird palpitations of his heart— they were all signs of a qi deviation!
To put it plainly, Luo Binghe is currently sending him into a qi deviation— that is, by being… too cute! How is it possible that such a cute and wholesome child can turn into such a blackened protagonist later on?! Shen Qingqiu wants to cry just thinking about it!
Of course, his face betrays nothing of his emotions and internal fan-boying over his white lotus disciple Luo Binghe. Nevertheless, he flicks his fan open to hide the lower half of his face, more of a habitual tic than anything else.
He peers down at Binghe, who’s seemingly… waiting for him to do something? While also being cute as heck? What did Binghe want from him; why was he staring at him like that? Off you go, Binghe, shoo shoo! Go on your merry way and cultivate your romance with Ning Yingying, or go find Liu Mingyan or something! This master has already received your report, Binghe is dismissed!!
Unsurprisingly, Binghe doesn’t budge from his spot in the slightest, and the most Shen Qingqiu can do to convey the entire magnitude of his internal confusion (and fan-boying) is to delicately arch an eyebrow, which frankly, doesn’t convey much at all.
Everything considered, he’s pretty sure he still looks calm and composed, worthy of the title ‘arrogantly cool and elegant, ethereal beauty of CangQiong’ that the original goods had acquired over in the course of his years at CangQiong sect.
Nevertheless, no matter how unbothered and unflappable he looked on the outside, Shen Qingqiu was still starting to get antsy from Binghe’s intense staring.
“Is anything else the matter, Binghe?” He questions, fluttering his fan over his face in an attempt to hide his discomfort.
Binghe shuffles nervously on his feet, nervously biting his lips. “D-did this disciple’s report meet Shizun’s s-standards?” He asks evadingly instead, eyes darting to the ground.
Shen Qingqiu blinks.
How is he supposed to know! Did Binghe think he had some omnipotent reading ability or something? He’d barely even opened the scroll to read the report; Binghe himself had only just passed it to him mere seconds ago!
“This master is sure Binghe’s report is more than satisfactory,” he answers calmly, watching with careful eyes as Binghe perks up, lifting his eyes back up from the ground. “As it always is.”
Binghe’s… illusionary tail seems to be wagging even harder now, thumping at the ground with fervor.
Shen Qingqiu inwardly bumps his visit to Mu Qingfang to higher up in his priority list.
Binghe’s large doe eyes are now sparkling, and he’s beaming so brightly with sheer happiness that Shen Qingqiu almost does a double-take.
Right.
Luo Binghe, at this age, was a pitiful child through and through, deprived of any form of affection and acknowledgement, having been put through innumerous forms of hardships and abuse from strangers and his fellow peak disciples alike. Even the original goods had spared him no mercy; cruelly pouring a cup of scalding tea over his head just when Binghe thought he’d finally been accepted, had finally found a home—
—It wasn’t surprising at all that Binghe craved affection and attention like a starved man, because that was essentially what he was. The amount of times Binghe had been praised or shown affection couldn’t possibly be more than a handful. For someone who has never had a place to belong and call his own with the exception of his adoptive mother, this must all feel like a surreal dream that will eventually vanish like wisps of smoke.
Shen Qingqiu’s heart twinges; this was all Airplane’s fault!! All these unnecessary suffering and abuse of an innocent child! If Shen Qingqiu ever gets his hands on that stupid quack of an author, he’s definitely going to wring his neck and hang him out to dry!
Luo Binghe is still struggling to get his words across in his subtle attempt to fish for affirmation and reassurance, but at this point, Shen Qingqiu would rather roll over and die (for the second time!) than not provide Binghe the affection and reassurance he so rightly deserved.
“Binghe did a good job,” he answers with a soft smile. “You couldn’t have done it any better. This master is proud,” he continues, gazing fondly at his disciple who’s staring at him, starstruck, looking absolutely floored by the praise.
Binghe’s stunned silence doesn’t last for long, though. Shen Qingqiu didn't think it was possible to blush and cry at the same time, but apparently Luo Binghe was able to accomplish the most ridiculous of feats.
With flushed cheeks and tears welling in his eyes, Binghe starts sobbing hysterically, overcome with emotions at Shen Qingqiu’s validation. As the choked sobs turn into outright bawling, Shen Qingqiu feels a distinct sense of panic rising within him.
Don’t cry, Binghe!!! Why are you crying!! Didn’t this master just praise you?! Please stop crying!
"Shizun!" Binghe wails loudly instead, much to Shen Qingqiu’s dismay. With tears cascading down his cheeks, Binghe looks very much like the pitiful, innocent white-lotus that he is, and Shen Qingqiu…. Shen Qingqiu is a weak man. He’d do just about anything to stop Binghe from crying.
“Th-This disciple— This disciple is h-honoured,” Binghe cries out mid-hiccups, “—honoured, to be Shizun’s disciple! This disciple doesn’t deserve Sh-Shizun’s kindness and h-hopes to be able to serve Shizun the best he c-can!”
Yup. Shen Qingqiu is definitely not equipped to deal with this. He’s usually on the receiving end— being the pampered third son of a wealthy family, doted on by his parents and siblings enough that he’s usually the one being consoled when things got too much for him to handle. He really doesn’t have much experience with this.
However, despite being a millennial who’s disastrously ill-equipped to deal with waterworks and crying fits, Shen Qingqiu keeps his panic at bay. Binghe’s still a sobbing mess in front of him, and in lieu of that Shen Qingqiu is unable to help but immediately agree to whatever ridiculous declarations Binghe manages to choke out in between sobs. He does this without much thought, unable to turn down anything from a crying Binghe.
“Alright, alright, stop crying already,” Shen Qingqiu shushes in fond exasperation, reaching out and crouching slightly to pat comfortingly at Binghe’s shoulder. Taking out his silk handkerchief, he dabs gently at Binghe’s cheeks. “There’s no reason for Binghe to cry, now. This master has always thought of Binghe as his most capable disciple. Be proud of yourself.”
"Shizun!" Binghe all but bawls instead of calming down.
Shen Qingqiu, in the end, spends the day gently wiping the tears off Binghe’s cheeks, the week paying more attention to Binghe’s cultivation forms and progress, and the rest of their days praising Binghe whenever he can.
Because Binghe deserves to be loved, and known that he is loved.
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 2
Yue Qingyuan has been away for an entire week now, and Shen Qingqiu wants to die.
He’s drowning in paperwork and administrative sect leader duties that Yue Qingyuan had apologetically dumped on him, believing him to be the best available choice to take over his duties as compared to the other busier or slightly more… problematic peak lords.
Which was actually the truth, so Shen Qingqiu had, very reluctantly, agreed to temporarily take over Yue Qingyuan’s duties for the period of time he was away doing whatever sect leaders were supposed to do.
Evidently, he had severely underestimated the sheer amount of work required to run a sect. He spends his nights struggling with the paperwork and sect leader responsibilities, and the day attending occasional meetings and fulfilling his peak lord duties— which admittedly wasn’t very much, but the sleepless nights have him feeling absolutely dead on his feet anyway as he goes about his day mentoring and teaching his little sheeps on the four scholarly arts as well as overseeing their cultivation progress.
So, yes. He actually hasn’t slept at all in the past few days.
It wasn’t as if he actually needed it; being a cultivator naturally meant that he had a lot more leeway with abusing his body without having to suffer much repercussions. But staying up for so long was exhausting in itself, and Shen Qingqiu really doesn’t have enough brain space or brain cells to pay attention to many minor details, or even keep up with maintaining his usual display of ‘elegance and beauty’.
You really can’t be elegant and beautiful when you haven’t slept at all in days, after all.
And the most ironic part? Despite feeling like a complete wreck, the exhaustion does not show on his face in the slightest.
Sure, he might be acting a little less… graceful and eloquent, and very subtly giving less fucks in maintaining his image than before, but it's nothing majorly obvious, and Shen Qingqiu doubted that his disciples and fellow peak lords even noticed any changes in his demeanor.
As expected of the body of the cold and aloof Shen Qingqiu! This body indeed lived up to its name!
But of course, his exhaustion and sleepless nights does not escape the watchful eyes of his white lotus disciple Luo Binghe, who had the protagonist halo as well as a Shizun-complex, and who also quite literally lived in the room next to his.
Luo Binghe not noticing his plight was an impossible scenario.
Needless to say, the amount of worried stares and fussing that Luo Binghe does is, quite frankly, almost excessive. He pleads with Shen Qingqiu when they’re alone, offering his help with a teary gaze, in which Shen Qingqiu has no choice but to turn down because what Binghe could help with, Shen Qingqiu had already long since assigned him to do it. Binghe also frequently hovers over Shen Qingqiu, muscles tense and ready as if Shen Qingqiu, in his weakened state from Without-A-Cure, was about to collapse anytime from all his accumulated stress and sleepless nights and had to be caught mid-fall.
Binghe also checks in on him more frequently in the quarters of his chambers, or in his private study in their shared bamboo house, especially in the middle of the night when he knows Shen Qingqiu has work to do, just to make sure that his Shizun is alive and well, and not dead from the sheer amount of work and the resulting frustration he feels.
What a filial disciple!
All those were heart-warming, really, but what Shen Qingqiu really loved the most about the newfound, perhaps slightly excessive, attentiveness of his disciple was…
“Shizun!” Binghe calls, childlike excitement colouring his tone. His eyes are bright as he enters Shen Qingqiu’s private study after two raps on the bamboo door, his hands gingerly carrying a tray.
Yes. Out of all the fussing Binghe did, Shen Qingqiu appreciated this the most. Or more specifically, the snacks and tea Binghe prepared as refreshments.
Shen Qingqiu perks up, exhaustion fading just the slightest bit as he lifts his eyes from the scroll he’d been contemplating over for the past hour. “Binghe!” He greets in response, a fond smile naturally forming on his lips.
Binghe makes his way over to where Shen Qingqiu is seated at his desk, and Shen Qingqiu places his scroll down gingerly, shifting his focus to look at his disciple properly.
Binghe’s still wearing his frilly apron, looking completely unabashed as he sets the tray down onto Shen Qingqiu’s desk. He has his hair tied in a low ponytail with a jade green ribbon that Shen Qingqiu had used to braid Binghe’s hair with on a whim a few months prior. He’d given it to him back then, seeing as how it was just another spare ribbon he had lying around his quarters, and how Binghe had seemed so happy with the entire situation that Shen Qingqiu had assumed he’d just liked the ribbon a lot.
His lips curl up, and he hums internally in satisfaction. See? His guess wasn’t wrong! Binghe was still using the ribbon; oh, what a silly and precious child! To fancy and treasure such a normal ribbon so much, Binghe really had a sad childhood. Shen Qingqiu is sure even a measly item like this was a luxury for Binghe to own, especially back when he was still starving in the streets.
There's a different assortment of pastries placed neatly on one of the many uselessly exquisite plates that the original Shen Qingqiu owned in addition to his (probably priceless) dinnerware. Shen Qingqiu spots small square slices of honey osmanthus cakes plated delicately alongside cold chilled jellies to combat the sweltering heat outside, all conscientiously planned and skillfully made by Binghe, from the combination of flavours to the plating of the pastries.
“This disciple has prepared some refreshments for Shizun,” Binghe says brightly as he pours a cup of tea and settles it in front of Shen Qingqiu, “pray that Shizun finds them to his taste.”
Standing at the side of his desk, Luo Binghe looks so eager to please that Shen Qingqiu is unable to help but coo internally despite feeling bone-deep weary. What a good child!! So earnest! Filial disciple!!
“Binghe has worked hard,” Shen Qingqiu praises, the corner of his lips lifting. “This master has no doubts about Binghe’s cooking ability,” he praises. Then, his brain short-circuits from the sheer exhaustion that he’s been fighting against for the past few days— he looks at Binghe, who’s looking so much like an adorable puppy, that he runs on auto-pilot and instinctively reaches a hand out to pat Binghe’s head.
Shen Qingqiu immediately freezes, his hand still placed atop Binghe’s (soft and fluffy) head. Fuck!!! He didn’t mean to pat Binghe!! Binghe just looked so cute he had to!! He did it without even realising it!!! Casually touching his disciple like this— Shen Qingqiu’s cold and aloof image was going to go down the drain in minutes!
Shen Qingqiu forces himself to unfreeze, putting on a stiff smile as he continues patting Binghe. Now that they have come to this, he’d just have to fake it till he made it.
Apparently, Luo Binghe’s brain had short-circuited as well, seemingly unable to process the entire turn of events. It’s not until Shen Qingqiu resumes patting his head that he blushes so hard, red flooding his cheeks and staining the tips of his ears, that he resembles a ripe tomato.
In short, Luo Binghe practically combusts on the spot, turning into a stammering, flustered mess.
Well, isn’t this mortifying, Shen Qingqiu thinks, still patting Binghe’s head.
They will never speak of this again.
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 3
They eventually do, a few weeks later, much to Shen Qingqiu’s surprise.
Luo Binghe is yet again standing before him. This time, he has just finished settling some administrative paperwork on behalf of Shen Qingqiu, who had praised him for his impressive efficiency and accuracy. As expected of the protagonist of a stallion novel, really!
But Binghe had remained rooted where he’s standing even after Shen Qingqiu had already dismissed him, stuttering and stammering red-faced all the while, much like the very first time Binghe had wanted Shizun to praise him.
“Out with it, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu says eventually, an eyebrow arched behind his well-seasoned fan.
Binghe swallows nervously. “Thi-this di-disciple would like to re-request a he-headpat from Shizun!” He exclaims in a rush, all with a single breath. Clutching at the hem of his robes, Luo Binghe gazes up at him shyly.
And this time, it is Shen Qingqiu who spontaneously combusts.
That’s… That’s… That’s way too cute!! Too wholesome!! Too pure for this world!!
White-lotus Luo Binghe is so goddamn CUTE!!!
Of course!! This Shizun will give you as many headpats as you wish, Binghe!! o(≧∇≦o)
Peerless Cucumber & Bunhe Combined Adventure Log
This eventually turns into a routine for the two of them, in which Shen Qingqiu will acquiesce to a request from Luo Binghe as a reward whenever he excels in whatever tasks Shen Qingqiu assigns him.
Which is actually very frequent; Binghe is a very competent disciple as well as The ProtagonistTM, but that’s besides the point.
Binghe also seem to be making this a habit, requesting for headpats and permission to take certain liberties (that generally works in Shen Qingqiu’s favour, such as requesting to prepare his outfit for a particular peak lord meeting, or requesting to be allowed to service him by massaging his shoulders and whatnot). More often than not, though, Luo Binghe requests for headpats, which Shen Qingqiu very willingly gives, revelling in the softness of Binghe’s hair against his palm.
It isn’t until a few months later that Binghe’s request suddenly changes out of the blue.
Again, Binghe is fidgeting very anxiously before him, hands balled into tight fists behind his back. He’s a ball of nervous energy, tense and taut, timidly stealing quick glances at Shen QIngqiu before averting his gaze back to the ground.
In a manner similar to the many other times they’ve done this, Shen Qingqiu is standing silently before Binghe with his fan in hand, waiting for Binghe to compose himself enough to spit it out.
Binghe’s red all the way to the tips of his ears, and eventually, he manages to gather enough courage to meep out a high-pitched “th-this disciple would… thisdisciplewouldlikeahugfromshizun!”.
Shen Qingqiu blinks, barely able to catch the jumble of words Binghe had just squeaked out, but when it does register, Shen Qingqiu, quite literally, starts screaming internally.
White lotus!! Too pure for this world!!!!
Externally, though, he snaps his fan open over his face with a flick of his wrist, peering down loftily at his disciple with an air of composure, even though he was anything but. “Being so clingy at your age, is Binghe not embarrassed?” He reprimands lightly, but his eyes are soft and welcoming.
Binghe, however, doesn’t manage to see, because he’s looking down at the floor with his eyes screwed shut in mortification.
And the next thing Binghe knows in the expanse of darkness behind his eyelids, is that he’s engulfed in a tight embrace, warm and firm. When he opens his eyes, all he gets is an eyeful of Shen Qingqiu’s broad chest which he’s practically plastered to.
Binghe let out a sound between a choke and a whimper, what impropriety to be staring at his Shizun’s chest! Flustered, and trying to preserve the dignity of his clueless Shizun, Luo Binghe trails his eyes upwards instead, only to see milky white skin of Shen Qingqiu’s neck, and the curve of his collarbone behind the pale green fabric of his robes. He is immediately reminded of his Shizun's dewy skin during the skinner demon incident a year back, pale and gleaming under the soft moonlight streaming into the shophouse, stripped bare at his torso.
Luo Binghe swallows down a whimper. He's actually starting to feel a bit faint from the blood rushing to his head… and also somewhere else. Which he is not planning to mention at all, thank you very much. Panicking, he tries to extract himself from Shen Qingqiu’s death grip before his little problem gets noticed and then he's ultimately kicked out of CangQiong sect and has to live on the streets again, forever unable to see Shizun, his gentle gaze, his soft smile—
His face is still buried within the fabric layering his Shizun's chest while he has his mini freak out, the warmth from the cold aloof peak lord—the personification of untouchable grace and beauty—, seeping through and burning hotly against his cheek. “Th-Thankyouverymuch, Shizun, th-this disciple is utmost grateful for Shizun’s care! I-It’s okay now! Be-begging Shizun to release this disciple!” While doing so, he tries to wriggle his way out of Shen Qingqiu’s death grip and that’s when he finds out, oh god, Shen Qingqiu’s arms are laced around his waist, firm and strong, and—
While Binghe’s currently having a blue screen of death, Shen Qingqiu tuts. “Nonsense. Asking for a hug from this master, and then acting as if this master is bullying you? If it's a hug Binghe wants, then a hug Binghe gets. And a long one, at that.”
Luo Binghe sputters out a string of incomprehensible words that Shen Qingqiu just hums obligingly at, and when Shen Qingqiu's arm travels from his waist to the back of his head, his fingers gently threading through the locks of his hair in an attempt at a headpat, Luo Binghe is no longer able to cope with his trainwreck of emotions and eventually passes out in Shen Qingqiu's arms.
A headpat from Shizun while in his embrace!!! What a day!!! ☆*:.｡.o(⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)o.｡.:*☆
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 4
Luo Binghe eventually grows bolder in his requests, and requests hugs from Shen Qingqiu every so often despite trembling like a leaf and acting like he’s about to be eaten alive everytime Shen Qingqiu acquices to his requests.
Hey, rude! He wasn’t that scary, was he?! Granted, the original Shen Qingqiu would never have tolerated such requests— several lashes of the whip would have been a more likely response, but he’d thought Binghe had warmed up to him recently! Hadn’t their master-disciple relationship been progressing well? Was Shen Qingqiu too overly optimistic about evading his future as a human stick?!
Quite frankly, though, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t really understand why Luo Binghe insists on hugging when he’s so deathly afraid of him, but maybe Binghe was just a masochist? Despite always being a nervous wreck, Luo Binghe asks for hugs anyway— and pretty regularly, at that. Shen Qingqiu is so confused he’s unable to make heads or tails of what his sticky white lotus disciple is thinking, but he wouldn’t pass up any chances to pamper Binghe; hugging the protagonist’s thighs is an exceedingly important quest for scum villain Shen Qingqiu!
His future is at stake; he would like to have all his limbs attached when he retires in the future, thank you very much!
So, weirdly enough, their routine continues— Luo Binghe accomplishes a task exceedingly well (which is happening more often than not nowadays), and then immediately proceeds to find Shen Qingqiu to ‘claim’ his reward, stuttering and fumbling with his words all the while. Shen Qingqiu, of course, plays up his character of a cool and aloof peak lord, reprimanding Binghe lightly for his clinginess, but nevertheless opens his arms in invitation.
Luo Binghe always lights up at that, his eyes shining as he gazes up at Shen Qingqiu with adoration, before barreling himself into his bosom. The first time that happened, Shen Qingqiu quite literally had the air knocked out of him and nearly fell over himself from the sheer eagerness Binghe displayed. Before he knew it, Binghe was already pressing his face into his chest, nuzzling away happily.
Shen Qingqiu had almost combust spontaneously. Again.
So. Cute!!!!
Luo Binghe was the absolute cutest and the best white lotus of a disciple, ever!!! Needless to say, Shen Qingqiu was also quite satisfied with this turn of events. Surely, Binghe would look back at all these fond memories in the future and even spare his Shizun some mercy when he eventually blackens!!
They continue this charade for a good few months, with Luo Binghe gradually growing bolder and more confident in his requests. He trembles less before Shen Qingqiu, and even manages to meet his Shizun’s eyes with an expectant gaze, excited and admiring all at once. This eventually spans into half a year of them regularly embracing each other before Ning Yingying finds out.
Luo Binghe is, as per usual, tucked in his embrace. Blessed by the protagonist buff, Binghe has grown by no small amount in that short span of time, and now he’s tall enough to rest his forehead on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder.
—And that’s how Ning Yingying catches them— red-handed, and also awkward as hell.
She stares at them in shock, and Shen Qingqiu thinks he actually sees betrayal flash past her eyes when their gazes meet. He holds back a groan, because Shen Qingqiu is a cool and aloof master, and he has to play the part even if the OOC function has been removed.
Really! His disciples were all drama queens! Exactly who did they learn it from; how is it that they were all so good at overreacting?!
Luo Binghe continues to be completely unaware of the turmoil his Shijie is going through, with his back faced towards Ning Yingying while he’s tucked away happily in Shen Qingqiu's embrace.
“A-Luo! Shizun!" She cries out in what Shen Qingqiu can only describe as anguish, almost sounding like the wife of a protagonist who had been wronged and mercilessly tossed aside, which Shen Qingqiu thinks is already half-true. Or would be, in the future anyway. His white lotus, Luo Binghe, jerks in surprise in his embrace at the sudden interference, and he cranes his neck to look back at Ning Yingying. ”Shijie!” He greets cheerily, not moving an inch from his spot in Shen Qingqiu’s chest.
Please, Binghe! At least release this master first before greeting your seniors!!
Ning Yingying seemingly doesn’t register Binghe’s greeting, and her eyes flutter down to stare at their arms (still) encircled around each other, before it trails back up to peer at Shen Qingqiu, in an almost pleading manner.
What??? Why is she looking at him like that!! It wasn’t his fault her future husband was such a clingy disciple!!
In the midst of his internal theatrics, Luo Binghe’s arms circling around his waist tightens imperceptibly, and Shen Qingqiu stifles a wince. Binghe! This master is an old man; please have mercy on his hips!!
Luo Binghe pays no heed to his Shizun's poor waist, and instead, his eyes narrow as he catches Ning Yingying's gaze fixed on Shen Qingqiu's arms resting around his waist.
With an embarrassed cough, Shen Qingqiu immediately retracts his hands back to his side, releasing his disciple. Luo Binghe, however, doesn’t loosen his grip at all, and instead does the exact opposite. Shen Qingqiu almost cries. Was that a crack?? Did his lower back just crack?????
This can go on no longer! He'd be more likely to have a broken waist way before he turns into a human stick! Almost flustered, he smacks at Luo Binghe's arm with his fan. "Please release this master, Binghe. It is unbecoming to address your Shijie in such a manner," he says, but he's actually just worried about his poor old waist.
Luo Binghe sulks, reluctantly withdrawing his arms from Shen Qingqiu's waist. He's still standing impossibly close, though, his body poised protectively in front of Shen Qingqiu.
"That's… That's—" Ning Yingying starts, seemingly having snapped out of her daze. Now, she's fumbling over her own words, looking at a loss. Shen Qingqiu's mother-hen instincts immediately flares up, concern for the normally vocal and blunt-to-a-fault Ning Yingying taking precedence over his current embarrassment. What exactly had Ning Yingying acting so disconcerted?
Perhaps Ning Yingying was facing some difficulties she couldn't resolve on her own? Was she getting bullied by the disciples of other peaks?? Or maybe some creep had been persistently hitting on her and she couldn’t get him off her back???
"—That's not fair!" Ning Yingying bites out eventually, cutting him off mid-thought. "That's— It's not fair that only A-Luo gets hugs from Shizun!" She finishes dramatically, her eyes watery. Her gaze is pitiful as she looks up at Shen Qingqiu, but he doesn't miss the look of betrayal Ning Yingying shoots at Binghe.
Shen Qingqiu's worry immediately shrivels up and dies. Seriously? That was what Ning Yingying was bothered about? Are they going to police his hugging habits now?!
"It's not unfair, Shijie!" Binghe argues. “Shizun was only rewarding this disciple for a job well done!”
“It’s still not fair!” Ning Yingying childishly repeats, her cheeks puffy from indignance. She has one foot lifted up in the air, ready to throw a tantrum and stomp at the ground, and when Shen Qingqiu arches an eyebrow, the future #1 wife of the protagonist catches his gaze and places her foot back down sheepishly. Shen Qingqiu has raised his disciples of QingJing peak to be cultured and well-mannered; they certainly do not stomp on the ground, for whatever reasons at all. Imagine the rumors and gossip that will spread once words get out that the disciples of the aloof and graceful ethereal beauty Shen Qingqiu had disciples that were as uncouth as those of BaiZhan Peak! Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t stand for it!
“Yingying did a great job earlier sweeping the practice grounds, Yingying deserves a hug too!”
Comically enough, Luo Binghe looks almost as if he’s eaten something sour; the disdain on his face a tad bit too obvious for it to pass for anything but. Shen Qingqiu’s eyes gleamed, his interest piqued. Was this jealousy he was seeing? Perhaps this was the start of the romance between Ning Yingying and Luo Binghe! The ship is finally sailing!! Go get your girl, Bingmei!! Fret not, Ning Yingying is all yours; this Shizun is no love rival! Shizun will support you all the way!!!
Cheering to himself, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t notice the increasingly frustrated look Luo Binghe sports as he argues with Ning Yingying. It isn’t until he hears Luo Binghe blurt out an indignant “get your own shizun!” after a series of back and forth banter that he snaps out of his thoughts and returns to reality— where Ning Yingying and Luo Binghe have been arguing for the past few minutes over god knows what.
Shen Qingqiu blinks. What? Why were they arguing?
“But he is! We have the same Shizun!” Ning Yingying shoots back defensively.
“But you haven’t accomplished any tasks worthy of Shizun’s hugs yet!” Luo Binghe argues, and Shen Qingqiu blinks, his mind racing.
Their banter is starting to sound insane. What kind of argument is this? Were they arguing about him?? Shoudn’t Ning Yingying, who has budding feelings for Luo Binghe, be offering him hugs? Shouldn’t Luo Binghe, innocent but charming even at the tender age of sixteen, be starting to develop an interest for girls, starting with his closest female, Ning Yingying? Why isn’t Binghe jumping at this opportunity to offer Ning Yingying a hug???
Why were they fighting over hugging him, of all things???
“That doesn’t matter; Shizun’s hugs should belong to everyone!” Ning Yingying rebuts almost immediately, eyes tearing up. Shen Qingqiu… really doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He needs a guidebook for dummies and an in-depth character and situation analysis to understand the farce that’s currently occurring. This is the complete opposite of what he’d been expecting; nothing made sense!!!
“No!” Luo Binghe also sounds like he’s almost close to tears, and Shen Qingqiu feels very much like crying himself— he couldn’t even handle one crying Binghe, he didn’t need two crying disciples! He watches with growing dread as the situation unfolds before him, going downhill in a very spectacular manner— right until Binghe very petulantly blurts out his next protest. “Shizun’s hugs are mine!”
Shen Qingqiu stills.
What.
That… That was a really bold claim to make, Binghe! This master has really spoilt you too much!!
Feeling the heat rise to cheeks, Shen Qingqiu immediately thumps Luo Binghe over his head with his fan— one of his favourites, decorated with bamboo leaves and faded greys of the mountainscapes that Yue Qingyuan had gifted him a while back— while keeping his expression carefully blank. He’s most definitely not flustered. At all.
“Certainly not,” he disagrees, clearing his throat. His voice is steady and low despite him feeling the exact opposite, a welcome respite in this mess of unexpected deviations-from-canon-behavior that he’s found himself entangled in. Thank god this body he inherited from the original goods had an unmovable poker face! “This master’s… hugs,” he says with great difficulty as he schools his expression, “belongs to no one. This master will… choose to give as he pleases.”
There! That should do it! Can they move on from this topic now?
To his dismay, Ning Yingying’s eyes light up, and her gaze turns from Luo Binghe to land on him. “Then,” she says excitedly, spreading her arms out childishly, “requesting Shizun to give Ning Yingying a hug? Yingying worked hard today cleaning up!”
“...”
After a long moment of silence, Shen Qingqiu heaves a heavy sigh.
Guess they won’t be moving on from this topic anytime soon, then. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 4.5
Shen Qingqiu does eventually give Ning Yingying her hug, as requested, after a series of pleading eyes and whiny “Shizuuunnnnnn”s, to the dismay of a certain Luo Binghe.
(...Really! His disciples were way too spoilt! Too over-dramatic! Once he finds out exactly who’s been teaching them this behaviour, he’s definitely giving them a good earlashing or two; see if they dare continue teaching his disciples such bad habits!!)
Bunhe Adventure Log Special
Binghe is getting so salty he’s this close to becoming a pickled fish.
Ever since Ning Yingying caught them hugging red-handed the other day which had ultimately resulted in the start of what has been dubbed the ‘Shizun’s Motivational Rewards Programme’ for the entire peak, literally everyone has been hogging Shizun’s attention!
This is so unfair!!
Luo Binghe scowls in his seat, watching disdainfully as yet another disciple runs past him to the front of the study hall, where his (amazing, kind, pretty, graceful, patient) Shizun sat. Shizun has a fan obscuring the lower half of his face, hiding his expression. His jade green eyes are dancing with mirth as he gazes at the red-faced, sorry excuse of a disciple standing before him— no doubt there’s a soft amused smile gracing Shizun’s lips hidden behind his fan— based on what Luo Binghe can see from where he’s sitting.
“Th-This disciple would be much h-honoured to, uhm, receive Shizun’s love and blessings!” The disciple, Xiao Ming, or whatever his name is, exclaims, looking stupidly happy at the attention he’s receiving and Luo Binghe snorts.
Unworthy! Completely unworthy of Shizun’s attention! Xiao Ming didn’t even do that great a job in his sparring practice! Binghe definitely did better, only that he’s been doing too well too often that Shizun really doesn’t have the time to listen to all of Binghe’s requests, especially now that he has to divide his time between ten thousand other disciples. Luo Binghe, himself, also holds himself back as much as possible for his Shizun’s sake, trying to lighten Shizun’s burden from the Shizun Motivational Rewards Programme as much as possible.
Yes.
The Shizun Motivational Rewards Programme— in which any disciple of QingJing Peak who displayed exemplary enough behavior or achievement will be graciously rewarded with a choice of either a Shizun Headpat or a Shizun Hug. This was established after Ning-Shijie had cried crocodile tears at Shizun that fateful day when she’d stumbled upon them and caught them mid-embrace, wailing over the unfairness of the entire situation all the while.
In an attempt to rectify the situation and appease Ning-Shijie, the ever so kind and gracious Shizun had decided to open this… motivational reward programme to the entire peak instead of only to Luo Binghe alone.
The efficiency of QingJing Peak had shot up by miles after that; Shizun sure is wise and ingenious! But that just meant lesser Shizun time for Luo Binghe!
This was a disaster!
Xiao Ming’s still shaking before Shizun in front of the entire class like the little lamb he is, looking very much like how Binghe did when he’d first requested a hug from Shizun. Shizun, much like how he’d acted with him, snaps his fan close with an elegant twirl of his wrist, his sleeve fluttering gracefully after.
“There’s hardly any need to be so tense,” Shizun says with a fond smile, “You’re not offering yourself up as a meal to a Black Moon Rhinoceros Python.” A smile! Shizun is smiling!!!
Luo Binghe is about to throw a fit.
Despite his cold words seemingly laced with traces of sarcasm, Shizun’s current demeanour is anything but. Shizun’s smiles were as rare as they come, and Binghe usually only manages to catches glimpses of it— in the mornings when Shizun is still overcome and bleary with sleep and Binghe brings over a warm bowl of congee and a cup of freshly brewed tea, during the day in the middle of their lessons when Shizun fascinatedly talks about demonic beasts, or on other occasional days they’re out in the village and Shizun stumbles upon a particular fan he fancies.
Those instances where Shizun shows a smile unhidden behind his fan are fleeting and quick, as rare and precious as a gemstone is to Binghe when he was still young and starving out in the streets.
And Shizun had actually smiled at this— this Xiao Ming!! In front of the entire class of disciples!!
Who are now stunned into silence!!!
Binghe looks on glumly as Shizun, with the same soft smile, proceeds to hug the very stiff and red-faced Xiao Ming, who’s also still gaping unattractively, stunned immobile at catching a glimpse of a smile from their cold and ethereal Shizun.
His classmates’ cheeks were also tinged pink when he gave a cursory glance around the classroom, and Luo Binghe’s mood plummets.
Looks like he’ll be having even more competition and less Shizun time from now. o(╥﹏╥)o
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 5
The efficacy of QingJing peak shoots up by no small amount in the following few months after Ning Yingying catches them hugging. In hindsight, they honestly shouldn’t have been PDA-ing in public, but it was just a hug! Shen Qingqiu never thought it’d end up like this!
He’s currently giving his 30th headpat to yet another disciple of his peak, who have all been coming to him endlessly in droves to claim their ‘programme rewards’. Shen Qingqiu, quite frankly, is both awed and terrified by his disciples; they spend every minute of their day vigorously training and cramming their head with literature as if possessed, and the scary gleam in their eyes is an almost constant thing, only disappearing when they approach Shen Qingqiu to request for their hugs or headpats.
The improvement he sees in his disciples is startlingly impressive, but really. Shen Qingqiu feels like he’s selling his body. Was all this really necessary?!
Whoever even came up with the name of the programme anyway? What Shizun Motivational Rewards Programme? That just sounded like a scam! Do a better job of naming things, at least! This involves the dignity of your Shizun, just so you know!! What are outsiders going to think when they hear about this scammy programme going about in one of the most affluent peaks in one of the most famous sects?
Shen Qingqiu didn’t have that much face to throw!
Nevertheless, Shen Qingqiu relents and gives in to the requests for headpats and hugs anyway, despite completely not understanding in the slightest why his entire peak had this weird… hugging and headpats kink. Were they that starved of affection and touch?!?!
And it’s really only his peak that does this!
When he brought this matter up to Liu Qingge just last week to see if the other peaks also shared the same problem, Liu Qingge had only snorted in reply, unable to imagine the same scenario happening in his peak. He had stared at Shen Qingqiu with a raised brow, as if to say ‘In my peak? Stop dreaming!’, before frowning in contemplation and following up with an abrupt “Wait. You’re giving out free hugs and headpats…?”
Liu-Shidi, that wasn’t the problem here!! And they weren’t free! It’s a reward programme! Stop having weird ideas!
And of course, the other peak lords as well as sect leader Yue Qingyuan, had denied in a similar manner, and then paused in their conversation and looked contemplative, much like Liu Qingge did.
Shen Qingqiu really had no idea what was going on in those brains of theirs.
Shrugging, Shen Qingqiu pats his 53rd disciple on the head, snapping out of his thoughts that he’s been distracted by all this time he’d been patting his disciples. He hums non-concomitantly; only 53rd? This is really going to take a while.
Luo Binghe is glowering as he stands by his side, shooting looks at every disciple that dare to come too close or linger for even a second longer than the usual allowed time. The 53rd disciple, cowed by Binghe, bows and leaves, and the 54th disciple steps up eagerly, stammering out a greeting.
Shen Qingqiu gives another distracted hum in response, his hand mechanically reaching out to pat his 54th disciple on the head. He’s purely running on auto-pilot now, and while doing so, he lifts his gaze up. The queue of his disciples lining up to redeem their Shizun Rewards snaked far and beyond, curving past the exits of the study hall and out into the training field, where they curved and looped endlessly.
Looks like Shen Qingqiu would be having an arms day today. ╮(╯_╰)╭
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 6
Several days later, Shen Qingqiu opens the door of his bamboo house to find Liu Qingge standing stiffly right at his doorstep, hauling the carcass of a very, very large and very, very dead Clawed Soaring Lizard, a famous reptilian beast known for its ruthlessly sharp claws, impossibly tough armor, ridiculous flying speed, and its ability to shoot out what essentially was laser beams.
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes dart to the huge carcass lying on the floor behind Liu Qingge, flooding the front of his doorstep with blood. Behind him, there’s a trail of red following the footsteps the BaiZhan Peak Lord took to come here, wet and bloody as it stains deep into the gravely path, and Shen Qingqiu belatedly thinks his home now looks like a murder scene.
Liu Qingge hasn't budged an inch, and Shen Qingqiu notices he’s slightly stiffer than usual. He’s still grabbing on to the tail end of the Lizard with a bloodstained arm, and his white robes are dyed heavily with the creature’s blood.
Liu Qingge still looks perfect and beautiful as ever despite being dyed in red, though. He’s not disheveled in the slightest and his hair is still tied up immaculately in his ponytail, not a single strand out of place, even though it’s evident that he’d directly flown here on his sword after slaying the Clawed Soaring Lizard, which is already a difficult feat in itself. As expected of the BaiZhan War God!
“Liu-Shidi,” Shen Qingqiu greets amiably, eyes twinkling in interest. “What brings you here today?”
Liu Qingge’s brows are furrowed. “A gift,” he answers. And then, Liu Qingge quite literally lifts the entire carcass up with a single arm, before shoving it under Shen Qingqiu’s nose, the bottom half of the lizard dragging on the ground as he does so. The carcass of the dead lizard is so heavy it actually leaves indented tracks in the stone pathway as Liu Qingge drags it across, the rubble giving way to the sheer weight of the creature.
What impressive arm strength…!
“Ah,” Shen Qingqiu says. “I see.”
What!!!!
In which world is hand-delivering the dead body of a demonic beast considered to be an acceptable gift?! While staining his entire front entrance with blood, at that!
Shen Qingqiu clears his throat. “Put that down,” he says when he eventually regains his bearings, and then immediately winces at how his words come across. “Let’s… Let’s have some tea first. Come on in, Liu-Shidi.”
Liu Qingge’s brows are still scrunched up in a frown as he follows Shen Qingqiu into his bamboo house, leaving the dead… lizard lying on the ground at the entrance of his home. They settle into their usual spot at the table where Liu Qingge always checks his meridians at, and Shen Qingqiu lifts his sleeve back as he pours the tea, revealing his wrist.
Liu Qingge’s eyes immediately flicker from him, to his wrist, before his gaze eventually settles, and he chooses to stare intensely at the teacup instead. Shen Qingqiu blinks. “Is Liu-Shidi interested in tea sets, now?” He teases.
Liu Qingge snorts, and Shen Qingqiu bites back a laugh. He sinks into the seat next to the war god and sips at his tea.
Hm. It really doesn’t taste as good as how Binghe normally prepares it, but it’ll have to do. He wasn’t a tea master, it couldn’t be helped!
They sit in silence for a few minutes or two, with Shen Qingqiu savouring the tea and Liu Qingge frowning at nothing all the while, his shoulders stiffer and posture tighter than usual. He looks as if he’s contemplating very seriously on something, and Shen Qingqiu finds himself growing concerned.
“Liu-Shidi seems tenser than usual? Is it anything this Shixiong can help with?” He brings up eventually, settling his tea down.
Liu Qingge starts, but his reaction is so miniscule and controlled that it’s almost unnoticeable. He then looks at Shen Qingqiu, staring at him with an unreadable expression.
Shen Qingqiu finds himself growing nervous.
“Yes?” He asks unsurely, his fingers reaching for the fan tucked in his sash. With practiced ease, Shen Qingqiu flicks his fan open across his face.
Liu Qingge stares. “I killed the Clawed Soaring Lizard,” he says eventually, tone flat.
“...Yes?” Shen Qingqiu replies, confusedly. Of course he’d noticed, Liu-Shidi!!! There’s a dead carcass spanning the width of his entire bamboo house lying in front of said house, he’d be blind not to!!
Realising that that was probably insufficient as a reply, Shen Qingqiu continues, “As expected of CangQiong’s renowned War God. The Clawed Soaring Lizard is an incredibly tough opponent, and many covet its precious scales and priceless core; truly an impressive feat!”
This, however, doesn’t seem to appease Liu Qingge in the slightest. “Yes, it is,” he agrees blandly, and then the conversation dies entirely.
Shen Qingqiu wants to pull his hair out. Some cooperation would be appreciated here, Liu-Shidi!!!!
“So… this Shixiong is assuming Shidi’s gift… is that lizard…?” Shen Qingqiu tries again.
“Yes,” Liu Qingge affirms, still boring holes with his eyes into Shen Qingqiu. This time though, thankfully, Liu Qingge grants him some mercy, and continues. “The scales when brewed is a potent cure for many ailes, the core can be extracted to be made into precious nourishment pills, and almost all body parts can be sold for a high price.”
Liu Qingge sounds like he’s reciting off a script, but Shen Qingqiu humors him nevertheless. “Then this Shixiong must thank Liu-Shidi for his generosity. CangQiong sure is fortunate to have Liu-Shidi around,” he praises. “Not many can defeat the Clawed Soaring Lizard; it is notoriously hard to kill, after all.”
If anything, Liu Qingge doesn’t seem affected by the praise. Instead he frowns harder, still staring at Shen Qingqiu.
Oh my god, what!!! What do you want!!!
“...Anything else you wanted to say, Shidi…?” Shen Qingqiu asks with a raised brow, fan still fluttering before his face.
“Yes,” Liu Qingge affirms with a frown, and Shen Qingqiu, dear lord bless him, almost loses his shit at Liu Qingge’s next line. “What about my programme reward? This is no small accomplishment?” He asks, genuinely confused.
“...” Shen Qingqiu says.
Liu-Shidi!! This Shen Qingqiu is NOT your Shizun!!!!!
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 7
Apparently, all of the other Peak Lords also had the same idea as Liu Qingge, and Shen Qingqiu is finally aware of what they had initially been thinking when he’d first told them about his plight regarding the Shizun Motivational Rewards Programme.
They had really all been considering taking part in the programme!
They weren’t even his disciples!
And the worst part really wasn’t the stack of gifts flooding his house (Yue Qingyuan), or the blood of the dead carcasses of impossibly large creatures staining the front of his house (Liu Qingge), or the racks of fully stocked priceless medicines and balms he had in his shelves (Mu Qingfang), or the tableful of pastries and sweet treats (Qi Qingqi) in which just the thought of them alone had his tooth aching.
The worst part, really… was actually trying (and failing) to turn them down.
Shen Qingqiu was weak to puppy eyes! How come all of them were so good at it!! (with the expectation of Liu Qingge, of course, but he deflates ever so slightly when Shen Qingqiu protests and Shen Qingqiu has to hug the thighs of the Baizhan War God, just in case)
“A-Jiu,” Yue Qingyuan had called out to him softly, looking absolutely like a kicked puppy. Who was A-Jiu!! He’s not A-Jiu! And stop looking so pitiful! “It’s okay, I understand if A-Jiu refuses,” He had said woefully, sounding like he was the scum of the earth deserving of all evil and retribution. “I have failed you when it counted the most, after all,” he said, sadly, and Shen Qingqiu honestly just wanted the conversation to end.
What’s with this angsty hidden back story, Airplane!! This wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the novel!!!
As for Mu Qingfang, well, it wasn’t so much puppy eyes or guilt tripping, but more of a subtle persistence that frankly had Shen Qingqiu agreeing just to stop him from wasting precious medicine on him. He was but one man!! Did Mu Qingfang think he was so clumsy that he had to have shelves and racks of medicine and salves?? He was Shen Qingqiu, famous for his dignified elegance and ethereal beauty; that much medicine was overkill! Save it for the poor disciples of BaiZhan peak!
And Qi Qingqi… At first, he hadn’t minded the sweet treats and pastries she sent over; who doesn’t love those? But Luo Binghe had gotten sulky and pouty over the entire situation, claiming that preparing snacks and refreshments for Shen Qingqiu was his duty alone, and giving in to Qi Qingqi was less trouble than having to pacify a sad Luo Binghe.
And as for Liu Qingge, well… dead carcasses and bloody entrances, you know the drill. Please refer to Adventure Log Part 6 for further details.
In the end, Shen Qingqiu had given in to all of them, politely requesting that in return, they stopped doing... whatever they had been doing. He gives them headpats and hugs at their requests, excusing them with a ‘being peak lords and running a sect is hard work and thus deserving of a reward’, and ever since then, they’ve toned down their extreme… gift-giving, but every now and then, Shen Qingqiu still finds an enormous dead carcass lying on his doorstep, courtesy of Liu Qingge.
Of course, Luo Binghe hadn’t been too pleased that the Shizun Motivational Reward Programme now included all the Peak Lords as well as the Sect Leader. Binghe has also been constantly glowering at the other disciples; what a good child! Binghe must have been worried that his Shizun would be too exhausted from the never-ending queue of people to pat and hug!
Speaking of which, Binghe has really been doing a good job at keeping the rest of the disciples in line, as well as supporting him while he gives out the rewards to his peak… and the peak lords (plus one Yue Qingyuan). Despite this, Binghe hasn’t really been seeking him out much to request for hugs and headpats.
Shen Qingqiu sighs woefully, his heart bittersweet.
His white lotus disciple was growing up! He’ll miss his sticky Binghe, but all children will become independent and grow distant with their parental figure someday!
Go, Binghe! Chase your dreams (and wives)! This Shizun will always support you from behind!!
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 8
So, apparently, according to several sources, the person in question who had been influencing his disciples in the art of dramatics and overreacting had been him all along.
Much like how he did the previous time when he’d shared his plight regarding the Shizun Motivational Rewards Programme with his fellow Peak Lords, this time, he had also casually brought up how his disciples tended to overreact and cry over seemingly the smallest matters.
“Perhaps they’re only learning by example,” Qi Qingqi had laughed, thoroughly amused. “You tend to overreact,” she explains with mirth, thinking back to her previous attempts at getting a hug from Shen Qingqiu. “It took you so long to accept our offerings for the programme, after all!”
Offerings? Shen Qingqiu thinks in bafflement. Weren’t those just plain bribery?! Only Liu Qingge’s gifts could be considered acts of exemplary behavior and achievement!
… Okay, maybe not so much as an exemplary behaviour; he didn’t think leaving dead bodies, coveted or not, on the doorstep of other people’s homes can be considered polite in the slightest, but killing those creatures definitely was no small feat!
Anyway, when he brought this up to Yue Qingyuan and Mu Qingfang, both of them had just heartily agreed with Qi Qingqi that Shen Qingqiu tended to overreact sometimes.
And Liu Qingge…
Liu Qingge just arched a brow, stared at him dead in the eye, and went, “I heard from the sect leader that you fainted and collapsed a total of three times in the span of two shichen after hearing news that shocked you.”
And when Shen Qingqiu just stared back at him, unable to refute, Liu Qingge continued, “when you got hit by Without-A-Cure, you also collapsed again. Dramatically. In your disciple’s arm, whom you saved. Potentially in exchange for your life, I might add.”
“...” Shen Qingqiu had said.
“Need I say more?”
“...No… No, you don’t,” Shen Qingqiu had croaked out in reply.
And that was that. Honestly he was almost insulted! Cut him some slack; those were very natural reactions! Not everyone died and transmigrated into a novel only to find out that he’d be turned into a human stick in the future! And he really couldn’t handle pain; he used to be the pampered third child of a wealthy family!
And so, because the general consensus was “like master, like disciple”, Shen Qingqiu, on this very day, realises.
Ah, truly…
He really did dig his own grave… If he were any less dramatic, maybe his disciples wouldn’t have been so good at overreacting and he wouldn’t even be in this mess at all!! QAQ
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Part 9
It’s a few months later that Luo Binghe finally speaks up, looking glum and despondent as he walks slightly behind Shen Qingqiu. He’s been like this for a while now, whenever he’s alone or when he thinks Shen Qingqiu isn’t looking at him. But whenever Shen Qingqiu initiates a conversation, or calls him by his name, Binghe’s eyes will still light up like brilliant stars in the night sky, still as reverent and filled with love for his Shizun as ever.
It was slightly worrying, but Shen Qingqiu frankly had no idea what possibly could have caused Binghe’s plummeting mood in the recent few months. He’d racked his brains over and over, going through the entire PIDW novel and the timeline in his head over and over again to see if there were any events he had carelessly forgotten about, but there wasn’t!! He’d even confirmed it with the system so many times it was starting to give him attitude!!
So yes, naturally, Shen Qingqiu breathes a sigh of relief when Binghe decides to speak up.
“Shizun,” he calls hesitantly, pausing slightly in his steps to fix a contemplative stare at Shen Qingqiu’s back.
Shen Qingqiu stops in his steps as well, noticing that Binghe has stopped following him. He turns, with his fan in his hand. “What’s the matter, Binghe?” He asks from behind his fan, curious.
“This disciple was just wondering…” Binghe starts slowly. He doesn’t really look nervous, a stark contrast to the first few times he’d taken the initiative to speak his thoughts to Shen Qingqiu. “Does Shizun like hugging and giving headpats to everyone?”
Shen Qingqiu blinks. That’s— a really weird question.
“This master is only doing what’s required of him, for the good of the sect,” he replies, quite literally giving a model answer that evaded the question, yet didn’t reveal his true thoughts.
He didn’t actually mind, to be honest. Headpats and hugs are wholesome and platonic affectionate touches shouldn’t be frowned upon! It’s just that having all his disciples form a line and queue for his headpats and hugs is a little bit too much, but otherwise he isn’t really adverse to it. However, this really isn’t something Shen Qingqiu would say, so he wisely kept his mouth shut.
“But would Shizun prefer not to?” Binghe probes.
Shen Qingqiu sighs. “This master doesn’t mind all that much,” he replies, and is taken slightly aback when Luo Binghe visibly wilts. “...Binghe?” He calls, confused.
“...Even Liu-Shishu and Xiao Ming-Shidi? And Ning-Shijie?” Binghe asks again, but this time he looks so aggrieved that Shen Qingqiu isn't sure what to do. Again, why are all his disciples so dramatic!
And who’s Xiao Ming, even? There aren't even any Xiao Mings in his peak! He’s the Shizun, he’d know if there was one! Did Binghe mistakenly get his Shidi’s name wrong?????
Placing the matter aside for now, Shen Qingqiu snaps his fan close with a small frown. He lightly taps Binghe at his forehead with his fan, and chides gently, “What’s with this persistent train of questions, Binghe? Stop thinking all these useless thoughts.”
And then, he immediately regrets it, because Luo Binghe actually starts tearing up, and he finally understands why Luo Binghe has been so despondent in the recent months. He hasn't been growing distant at all— he was just holding himself back, too concerned for his Shizun’s well-being to add on to his already heavy workload by asking for hugs and headpats! Binghe!!! This master has failed you!!!
In his realisation, Binghe’s eyes are getting watery at an alarming rate, and Shen Qingqiu starts panicking internally, eyes wide. Oh no, not this again!
Rushing to salvage the situation and prevent the tears from falling, Shen Qingqiu blurts out an answer. “This master sees no problem with it,” he says, a little too fast for it to be considered as calm and composed.
He sees the tears gathering at an incredible speed behind the eyes of an even sadder Luo Binghe, and he hears the figurative sirens of alarm bells blaring away in his head. “But this master welcomes hugs from Binghe the most,” he adds on immediately, and Binghe’s tears immediately dries up, looking back up at him in surprise.
Relieved now that the potential disastrous situation has been averted even though Binghe’s tears had retracted back into his tear ducts so quickly his crying fits had to be fake, Shen Qingqiu continues with an amused quirk of his lips, “Binghe hasn’t been on task lately ever since this programme started; has Binghe grown dull of seeking hugs and headpats from this master? Do your best, now. This master is still waiting.”
Now, perhaps this will serve for extra motivation for Binghe!! Especially since he’s been so down lately and less efficient in his tasks! (And he definitely wasn’t lying when he said he liked Luo Binghe’s hugs the most— he was the fluffiest and the most comfortable to hug.)
Following that, Luo Binghe lets out a choked sound, before tackling Shen Qingqiu in a very firm, long-awaited hug.
The sheer force and abruptness of it all has them tumbling off the hill they had been strolling on, but that was just another small hiccup in the grand scheme of things.
Shen Qingqiu smiles in fond exasperation at his white lotus disciple, who has his head buried in his chest. The front of his robes feels slightly damp.
Well, Shen Qingqiu thinks as he lifts a hand to pat Binghe’s head.
All that’s well ends well.
Endless Abyss Log - 5 Year Special
Few months later, the Immortal Alliance Conference happens, and Binghe’s ancient heavenly demon heritage is revealed.
Luo Binghe falls into the Abyss.
Shen Qingqiu falls into grief.
Peerless Cucumber Adventure Log Final
It takes them a long while, and Shen Qingqiu actually dies for the second time, but they eventually manage to work through their misunderstandings in a rather convoluted and intense manner.
The situation that unfolds is completely different from the original PIDW, and Shen Qingqiu still finds it hard to wrap his mind around it— that Binghe does not want to kill him nor tear his limbs off nor turn him into a human stick. Binghe wants something very, very different from Shen Qingqiu that quite frankly has his hair raising and asshole clenching in fear.
He does eventually give in though, because from the start, Shen Qingqiu has always been weak for Luo Binghe.
And he always will.
Because Shen Qingqiu loves Luo Binghe.
END
[OMAKE - NSFW]
The Demon Lord Adventure Log - Papapa Special
Shizun’s a sight to behold, whether he’s up and about during the day, dressed immaculately in his pale green robes with his sleeves fluttering elegantly after him as he twirls his fan and plays his qin, or when he’s tangled in the sheets, milky white skin and soft flesh pressed hotly against his own, with flushed cheeks and reddened eyes blurred with tears, gasping weakly from pleasure.
Binghe didn't think he was ever going to let go of this; his happiness, his reason to live, his reason for being— all in a single person. His Shizun who was adored and loved by the entire sect, who was tender and kind to a fault beneath his composed demeanor, who was so far out of his reach— Binghe had never thought he'd be able to consider this person as his.
Shen Qingqiu writhes underneath him, his hair cascading in beautiful locks of black against the bed, clutching desperately at the sheets with his fists. His legs are spread as Binghe crooks a finger in him, pressing up and rubbing teasingly in slow circles, and Shen Qingqiu breathes out a gasp, lips parting red and sweet.
Shizun’s legs, bare and littered with purple marks and bruises, trembles around him as Binghe fits in two, three, and then four fingers. When Shen Qingqiu is filled and speared deep on his fingers, Binghe thumbs at his entrance teasingly, his knuckles bumping against Shizun’s swollen and puffy rim, stretched red and taut. He pushes the tip of his thumb in ever so slightly, watching as his Shizun’s hole clings greedily onto him as he slides his thumb out, and then swallows him back in again, hole fluttering open and giving way when he presses back in. He does this again and again, until Shen Qingqiu becomes a quivering mess underneath him, breathless and panting with want.
“Binghe,” he gasps, begging. Binghe's eyes glaze over at the sight Shen Qingqiu paints; clamping down tight on his fingers with shaky breaths, taking him so, so well, and begging for more. He leans down to catch his Shizun's breath with his lips, tongue slipping in, and the touch of Shizun’s bare skin against his own leaves a burning trail of desire running across his skin and settling heavily within Luo Binghe.
His cock lies hot and heavy between their bodies, pressed tightly against his Shizun’s smaller frame, and when Binghe shifts, his cock slides, slick and wet, smearing precum all over Shen Qingqiu’s abdomen.
Binghe reaches down to hold Shen Qingqiu’s cock within his hand. His hand is large against Shen Qingqiu, and it envelops his Shizun’s cock entirely, warm and pulsing against his palm. Shen Qingqiu jolts, letting out a guttural moan when Binghe slides his thumb over his slit, spreading his precum all over his cock.
“D-Don’t, Binghe—” Shizun pleads, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. “T-Too much, I- ah, I can’t—”
Shizun feels wet, slippery and filthy in his hands, and his debauched moans and breathy pleads against Binghe’s ears has him losing all sense of control. With a flick of his wrist, he pumps his Shizun once, twice, fisted hand gliding over slick cock. Shen Qingqiu's back arches off the bed as he finally comes with a cry, releasing into Binghe's hand, his hole twitching around Binghe's four fingers tucked deep within him.
"Binghe, ah-"
Shizun is barely coherent, drowning in the throes of pleasure, and Binghe continues fucking him with his fingers through his orgasm. Shen Qingqiu, outright sobbing from the overstimulation, doesn’t start struggling or thrashing about, but instead, he laces his arms around Binghe's neck, drawing him close enough to hug, and comes again immediately with a choked sob.
As his Shizun holds on to him desperately, Luo Binghe is reminded of how he had so lovingly cared for him in his teens, gave him the affection he needed, patted him, hugged him, loved him. And Shizun still does the same now, even after everything he had done, and what he's become.
Shizun still pats his head fondly and ruffles his hair when Binghe does well, be it cooking a meal or handling his demon lord affairs, and he stills hugs Binghe and holds him tight at night when they sleep, or in the day when they're alone behind closed doors.
From young, Shizun had never held back on showering him with love and affectionate touches.
And now, he still doesn’t. Shen Qingqiu, his husband, allows him to plunder and devour as he wants, to take when he needs,
Luo Binghe wants to cry.
He wants to shower Shizun with the love and affection he’s received; to hold him and touch him with ten times the love and ten times the intensity. He wants to love Shen Qingqiu, and return Shizun’s affections for him tenfold, in both body and in soul— burn it so deeply in Shizun he’ll never be able to forget.
His fingers dig deep within Shen Qingqiu, almost as if trying to spread him apart at his core. Then, he removes his fingers to hold his Shizun close, so precious and dear, and feeds him his cock. He pushes in slow, and Shizun, soft and pliant, parts for him, enveloping him in a burning heat, until he's split open entirely on Luo Binghe's cock.
Shizun's really a sight to behold, Binghe thinks again. Here, underneath him, pinned down and spread open by his cock. Luo Binghe wants nothing but to stay like this forever; close enough they're able to touch bare skin and emotions, close enough that Shizun bares himself entirely to him, vulnerable and stripped free of his composed exterior, and can only focus on Binghe inside him, Binghe’s hands touching him, Binghe’s tender nips at his neck, Binghe’s kisses mouthing at the corner of his lips, Binghe, and only Binghe.
They're still hugging, and Binghe lifts his hips, drawing his cock back out to the tip, only to thrust back in, hard and fast. He doesn’t let up his pace in the slightest, angling and slamming his cock balls deep with every thrust he makes, impaling his Shizun on his dick and grinding into him with every punctuated roll of his hips. Shen Qingqiu convulses around him, barely able to react, held tightly in Luo Binghe’s arms. Having nowhere to escape, Shen Qingqiu comes dry after a few hard thrusts with his legs splayed wide open at Binghe’s sides, his cock twitching weakly.
Binghe continues thrusting without pausing, holding Shen Qingqiu in place as he fucks him through his orgasm, bottoming out forcefully with every slam of his cock back in, grinding and rolling his hips against Shen Qingqiu. Shizun’s walls ripples pleasantly around him, and Binghe buries his head in the crook of Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder, too overcome by emotions and pleasure to stop.
"Bi-Binghe, ah, ahh, please s-stop, I really can't!" Shen Qingqiu practically sobs out, clutching desperately at Binghe's shoulder.
Binghe doesn't hear any of it, though. All he can think of is Shizun in his arms, Shizun underneath him, Shizun's hole swallowing his cock, Shizun opening up for him, Shizun taking him, Shizunshizunshizun—
"—Shizun," he gasps out, his voice shaky. He lands another particularly hard thrust, and he thinks his Shizun comes for the fourth time. Or was it the fifth? Luo Binghe is too far gone to know.
Shen Qingqiu pulls him in roughly for a kiss, eyes reddened from tears and looking absolutely wrecked. He tangles his hands in Binghe's hair at the back of his head, keeping him close, and Binghe comes with a hard final thrust, releasing deep into his Shizun.
Shen Qingqiu lets out a filthy moan, so unlike the usual picture of elegance and decorum he paints of himself, and Luo Binghe…
Luo Binghe loves his Shizun.
Luo Binghe loves Shen Qingqiu so much he thinks he's going to die.
He watches tenderly as Shen Qingqiu passes out from exhaustion on the bed, absolutely drenched with his fluids and sweat, trusting Luo Binghe with the cleanup, trusting Luo Binghe with his body, trusting Luo Binghe.
He gingerly picks up a jade green ribbon from their bedside, the very same one he's kept on him for eighteen long years, and he braids his hair with it.
Tenderly and lovingly, Luo Binghe cleans his Shizun up, sparing no effort in every step, making sure his Shizun will only receive the best and nothing less.
Once he's done, he places Shen Qingqiu on fresh sheets, tucking him in carefully, before slipping into bed besides Shen Qingqiu himself.
He snakes an arm around Shizun's waist, trying to bring him close to his chest, almost like a hug reminiscent of their past ones. Shen Qingqiu blearily wakes, and Binghe watches in fascination as dark lashes flutter to give way to jade green irises.
Shizun smiles fondly when he sees him, and just like how they hug each other to sleep every night, he inches himself closer, tucking his face into Binghe's chest and wrapping an arm around his waist.
Binghe, very carefully, holds his Shizun close. He trails his hand to thread his fingers into Shizun's hair at the back of his head, gently pressing Shizun closer.
And they fall asleep.