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“What a great way to wake up. You open your eyes and there is the love of your life.” - Mary Ryan of Ryan’s Hope
=/\=
It’s a cold, early Christmas morning in Kathryn Janeway’s childhood home.
Downstairs the large, traditional country house is bathed in darkness. Carefully placed decorations are illuminated only by the very beginnings of daylight which peek around the closed, full length curtains.
Everything is at rest, save for the large, silken paws of a young Irish Setter as they pad up the cool wooden staircase. They stop upon reaching the landing and a curious nose sniffs the air before making a decision on which way to turn.
The same nose follows a familiar scent to a bedroom door, lying slightly ajar, and carefully nudges it open.
Excited to have found what they were looking for, two paws leave the floor and land on the bed, moving the mattress and stirring the sleeping forms lying there.
Kathryn and Chakotay arrived late last night after visiting Chakotay’s sister, Sekaya, on Trebus and had all but fallen into bed, exhausted, at an ungodly hour. They’re almost completely cocooned in pillows, blankets and a duvet and are entirely entangled with one another as they sleep.
Kathryn is the first one to be roused, and she shifts delicately in Chakotay’s arms, her head turning towards his on the pillow. With another rock of the mattress her brow furrows, and she sighs, slowly opening her eyes. The first thing she sees is Chakotay, still sleeping soundly next to her, his handsome face content in repose. She smiles softly to herself before turning her head to the source of her disturbance. Maeve - Molly’s grandpup - leans in and begins licking Kathryn’s face furiously, her tail swishing behind her. Kathryn scrunches her nose and can’t help the drowsy laugh that escapes her.
The movement finally wakes Chakotay, who’s lying spooned behind her. He makes a noise of protest and Kathryn feels him raise his head off the pillow to look over her.
“Well good morning Maeve,” he greets and the dog’s tail starts to wag even faster.
He reaches his arm over Kathryn to pet Maeve’s head, and she pushes back further into his hand, a clear sign of her delight and encouragement of even more fuss.
“I think she wants to go outside,” Kathryn mumbles as she swipes at her face with the back of her hand.
Chakotay settles back down on the bed and sighs, taking a backwards look over his shoulder at the clock on his nightstand.
“It’s early,” he grumbles.
“It can’t be that early,” Kathryn says as she glances briefly towards the window behind Chakotay. “It’s just starting to get light outside.”
“Given what time we got in last night, it’s early,” Chakotay breathes into her hair.
Kathryn smiles, accepting his logic.
“I think her internal clock is out a little bit. Isn’t it, girl?” Kathryn asks as she looks into their dog’s big, brown, expectant eyes. “Too much travelling for you yesterday, huh?”
“Want me to go?” Chakotay offers.
“No, it’s okay, I’ll take her,” Kathryn replies as she pushes up onto her elbows and looks across at Chakotay. “Stay here and keep the bed warm for me, hmm?”
“Gladly,” he replies, pulling her in for a soft, slow kiss.
Kathryn sighs as they part and doesn’t move away.
“You’re making this difficult,” she pouts as she nuzzles his nose with hers.
“Good,” he chuckles, tightening his grip around her and leaning in again.
Maeve whimpers quietly at the side of the bed, interrupting their moment.
“Okay, okay, okay…” Kathryn huffs as she reluctantly extracts herself from Chakotay’s warm embrace, shuffling out from under the sheets and into the cool air of the bedroom.
She shivers and pulls a thick cardigan over the t-shirt of his that she sleeps in when it’s cold. She still has on her pyjama bottoms and her fluffy bed socks and lazily runs her fingers through her messy hair in an attempt to tame it back from her face.
Kathryn catches Chakotay watching her and smiles.
“What?” She asks with a quizzical expression.
He shakes his head. “I love you.”
Kathryn’s smile broadens before she turns to Maeve and whispers, “Come on then”. Chakotay settles back down under the bedclothes as Kathryn heads out the door and downstairs, the dog following keenly at her heels.
The welcoming scent of pine hangs in the air from the lush Christmas tree which stands in the lounge. Kathryn switches the lights on as she passes and the room is instantly set with a low, warm glow.
She opens the back door and Maeve barrels outside, into a field of fresh white snow. Kathryn pulls her cardigan up higher around her neck against the bite of the morning air and takes a deep breath and loses herself in thought as she watches Maeve playing happily.
She thinks back to where they were a year ago. Still in the Delta Quadrant. Still quietly denying their feelings for one another. And now here they are spending their first Christmas on Earth, as together as they could be.
“Thank you Admiral,” she whispers.
When Maeve settles back into her bed downstairs, Kathryn returns to the bedroom to find Chakotay comfortably ensconced under the covers, dozing quietly.
“How’s it looking out there?” he asks, as he pulls back the duvet in invitation.
Kathryn shrugs off her cardigan and slides back into bed.
“Pretty picturesque actually. It’s snowed again overnight and everything is all crisp and white…”
“And cold judging by the colour of your nose.”
She laughs softly as she snuggles down on her side to face him, and pulls the covers closer around her.
“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to warm me up,” Kathryn suggests with a lopsided grin.
“I was hoping you might say that,” he replies.
Chakotay leans in for a kiss and eases Kathryn onto her back. She parts her thighs and he settles comfortably between them.
They kiss languidly, their tongues gentle and probing. Kathryn reaches down to the hem of Chakotay’s t-shirt, sneaks her fingers underneath and slides her hands up his back, consumed by what they’re doing and forgetting how cold her touch must be against his hot skin. Chakotay hisses in response and jerks away suddenly from the kiss.
“Sorry,” she giggles quietly, chasing his mouth with hers.
“Lots of warming up required it seems,” Chakotay notes as he moves down to kiss her jawline.
“I may have to keep my socks on for a while,” she whispers.
“Oh I doubt that,” Chakotay says confidently as he moves to kiss her neck. Kathryn arches her head backwards to allow him better access and has to suppress a moan.
“We have to be quiet,” she warns, eyes closed, as Chakotay moves her t-shirt aside and works his way across her collarbone.
There’s something about sleeping in her teenage bedroom that makes Kathryn regress. Even though the room has been upgraded to accommodate a bigger bed, and they’ve slept in it together before, she can’t help but feel self-conscious of the other people in the house.
“Of course,” Chakotay assures before reaching down beneath Kathryn’s pyjama bottoms and inside her panties to her bare backside, pulling her hips flush against his.
She gasps in response, already well aware of the delicious increase in her circulation.
“Just let me know when you’re warm enough,” he adds, his lips busy against her skin as his hands roam further beneath her clothes, under her t-shirt, everywhere she loves to be touched.
Kathryn’s breath is already thick and laboured. And she realises she won’t need those socks after all.
=/\=
When Kathryn and Chakotay eventually make it downstairs they’re greeted by an amused Phoebe.
“Good afternoon you two,” she teases, even though it’s still very much morning. “We were starting to think you wouldn’t make it.”
Kathryn sighs, though her mock annoyance fools no one. “What a way to greet your big sister on Christmas.”
Phoebe smiles genuinely, dropping her pretence. “What time did you guys get in last night?”
“This morning,” Chakotay corrects pointedly.
“Don’t ask,” Kathryn interjects. “Where’s Frank?”
“Oh he’s outside gathering wood for the fire. Maeve went out to help.” Phoebe makes her way around the counter to greet her sister properly. “Merry Christmas Kathryn,” she says as she pulls her into an embrace.
“Merry Christmas Phoebe,” Kathryn replies, kissing her on the cheek.
“You too Chakotay,” Phoebe adds, moving along to him for another hug.
“Thanks Phoebe. Lovely to see you again.”
“Yes! So wonderful you both managed to be mission-free for your first Christmas together and that you could spend it here.”
“Well, it helps when there’s an Admiral in the family,” Gretchen calls as she enters the room, the pride in her voice evident.
“Morning Mom, Merry Christmas,” Kathryn smiles, and they hug fiercely.
“Merry Christmas sweetheart,” Gretchen replies, cupping her eldest daughter's cheek and looking into her eyes.
Gretchen’s attention then shifts to Chakotay.
“And how’s my other handsome son-in-law on this fine day?”
“Wonderful. Merry Christmas Gretchen,” Chakotay says as he kisses her on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas Chakotay. I’m so happy you’re here,” Gretchen replies, giving his upper arms an affectionate rub.
“Me too.” Chakotay smiles broadly.
Gretchen moves over to the counter. “Coffee?” she asks.
Kathryn turns to Chakotay and shakes her head. “It’s like she doesn’t know me at all,” she jokes.
Chakotay chuckles and kisses the side of her head before moving towards Gretchen. “I can do that,” he offers.
Kathryn slides onto a stool at the breakfast bar and tilts her head slightly to the side as she stares after her husband and sighs quietly, happily. She spots her mother smiling over at her and realises she’s been caught, most likely with a besotted expression on her face.
“You two sleep okay last night?” Gretchen asks, promptly breaking eye contact with her daughter in favour of stirring her coffee. “Sorry we couldn’t stay up to see you in.”
Grateful for the break in the moment Kathryn answers, “Don’t worry. And yes we did. We were so exhausted we practically passed out! Though Maeve woke us up ridiculously early wanting to be let out.”
“Ah, I thought I heard some movement early on,” Gretchen says.
Chakotay looks over his shoulder, towards Kathryn who blushes when she catches his gaze.
“That would have been it,” Kathryn hopes as she holds Chakotay's gaze. He smirks unashamedly before turning back around to the drinks.
Chakotay brings the coffee back over and sits down next to Kathryn with his cup of tea, rests his hand on her thigh under the counter and lets his thumb trace back and forth over the fabric of her pants.
Gretchen asks Chakotay about their trip to Trebus and Kathryn sees his face light up at the question, which makes her smile. There was never any doubt in her mind that Chakotay would get on with her family, and they with him, but something about seeing it happen right in front of her soothes her soul in a way she never thought possible. The warmth she feels works its way into her memory.
Voyager’s return to the Alpha Quadrant changed many things - Chakotay’s relationship status being one of them. He had rather quickly shifted back to being single after an amicable breakup of a misguided relationship which had barely begun. Something that Kathryn couldn’t help but feel relieved about, on many levels.
After all the Starfleet promotions had been handed out, a period of enforced leave gave Chakotay and herself the opportunity to spend some time together outside a command structure. They met for coffee, went on walks together and even called each other in the middle of the night when they were too restless to sleep.
Chakotay had wanted to visit Tevlik’s Moon - the Maquis base which was destroyed during the Dominion War - and, much to her delight, had asked Kathryn to accompany him. There was a subtle but inevitable shift in their relationship during that trip and one night, after a long evening of conversation, but with very little fanfare, they spent their first of many nights together.
The decision to get engaged soon followed as there seemed little point in waiting any longer. They had committed to each other in every other way possible and as they both intended to stay in Starfleet, the thought of a mission-enforced separation at this stage seemed inconceivable. The ceremony was small and simple, with only close friends and family present. Their honeymoon was a week-long trip to a secluded log cabin by Lake George at the start of summer. They spent their time reading, relaxing, talking and making up for years of physical distance by getting lost in one another every night.
They returned home to a message from the owner of one of Molly’s puppies saying that she had recently given birth to her own litter, asking if they would be interested in homing one. After visiting the litter they chose Maeve and brought her home just a few weeks later. She soon settled into their San Francisco apartment but proved to be a born explorer, much like her adoptive parents, and has accompanied them wherever they’ve gone.
“Well if it isn’t Starfleet’s power couple,” Frank jokes with a warm smile as he walks through the back door, his arms full of firewood, bringing Kathryn back to the present.
Kathryn and Chakotay both laugh, well aware of how widely their marriage was publicised and how ridiculous the coverage seemed to them.
“How have you been Frank?” Kathryn asks.
“Pretty great. How about you both? Still clinging onto that honeymoon period?”
“We’re certainly trying,” Kathryn replies, her hand finding Chakotay’s on her leg and giving it a squeeze.
“Want me to give you a hand there Frank?” Chakotay offers.
“That would be wonderful, thanks Chakotay,” he replies.
Chakotay hops down off his stool and shares the load of wood with Frank. As the two men start to make their way into the lounge Kathryn shouts after them.
“Chakotay’s good for carrying Frank but perhaps Phoebe might be better at helping to start the fire.”
“Ouch!” Chakotay calls back and Kathryn snorts as she attempts to stifle a laugh.
=/\=
The day is clear and sunny, and a walk with Maeve to enjoy the weather seems too good to pass up. Everyone wears thick coats, snow boots and various combinations of fluffy hats, scarves and gloves to keep out the cold.
The Janeway women huddle together with Gretchen in the middle, one daughter on either side, leaving Frank and Chakotay trailing just behind them whilst Maeve runs around excitedly in the snowy fields, chasing down her ball and returning it to anyone who’ll throw it again for her - which is everyone.
On the way back to the house Gretchen manages to snag some time with Chakotay out of earshot of everyone else.
“I know I’ve said this before, but thank you for making my daughter so happy. And for keeping her safe out there for seven years,” she tells him.
“Despite her best efforts, on both counts,” Chakotay quips and Gretchen laughs knowingly.
“She’s worth the effort though isn’t she?” Gretchen asks, although it’s not really a question.
“And then some,” he replies.
Gretchen catches Chakotay's soft expression as he watches Kathryn talking animatedly with her sister just ahead of them.
“I’ve not seen her this happy since before her father died, maybe not even then. She loves you Chakotay. I know you know that. But I see the way she looks at you... she’s never looked at anyone like that.”
“The feeling is mutual, Gretchen. I assure you. I’ve never known anyone like Kathryn. She’s so easy to love, even from a distance,” he says, with a faraway look in his eye.
Gretchen tugs gently on his arm and gives him a rueful, almost apologetic smile. “I'm glad she finally let you in. And I’m so very glad you found each other. Who’d have thought!”
“Who indeed.” He smiles down at her.
At that moment Kathryn breaks away from Phoebe and Frank and waits for Chakotay and Gretchen to catch up to her.
“What are you two conspiring about?” she asks as they approach.
“Never you mind,” Gretchen replies. “But I think I’ve monopolised enough of this sweet man’s time for the moment. He’s all yours.”
Gretchen unlinks her arm from Chakotay’s and walks ahead to Phoebe and Frank.
Kathryn takes her mother’s place at Chakotay’s side and snakes her arm through his elbow. He feels her pull in close and returns the gesture in kind.
“This is nice,” she says with a smile, turning her head to look at him.
“It is,” Chakotay agrees, leaning in to kiss her chastely.
They walk in comfortable silence for a while, taking in the scenery and the fresh air. They watch as Maeve continues to be fascinated by the snow, rolling around in it at every available opportunity and then shaking it off before bounding around to another spot and doing it all over again.
As the clouds roll quietly in and the skies turn light grey, snow starts to fall once again. The flakes that land in Kathryn’s hair remind Chakotay of the confetti that fell on Voyager, in engineering, four years ago. He thinks she’s as beautiful now as she was then, maybe even more so, perhaps because she’s finally at peace. The privilege of being able to look at her like this and not worry about the consequences anymore isn’t lost on him either.
As they near the house, Kathryn and Chakotay are still trailing behind. Phoebe, Frank and Gretchen disappear inside into the warm with Maeve hot on their heels. At their unexpected moment of privacy Chakotay stops walking altogether and guides Kathryn round to face him. She just has enough time to smile before he leans in to kiss her.
They pull apart and rest their foreheads together.
“There’s that cold nose again,” Chakotay breathes, and Kathryn laughs quietly.
“You know what to do,” she says as she brushes her lips against his.
“Yes I do,” he says against her lips before kissing her again, indulgently this time.
Kathryn hums in contentment, a dopey grin on her face. “I love you, Chakotay.”
“I love you too. Merry Christmas,” he wishes her, realising he hasn’t done so yet.
“Merry Christmas,” she echoes with a smile. “You know, our dog is going to be covered in snowballs. We should probably go inside and help with that,” she observes and Chakotay chuckles, reluctantly letting her go.
When they get inside they find that’s exactly the case. Maeve is in her bed, desperately trying to wrestle off the compacted snow in her long fur and they set about helping her so she can dry off.
Frank and Phoebe manage to set up a roaring fire and Chakotay is quietly grateful they didn’t ask him to help. He isn’t quite so grateful for Kathryn filling everyone in on his fire-starting mishap of six years prior but accepts Phoebe’s gentle teasing graciously.
They all return to the kitchen to find Gretchen in full flow preparing Christmas dinner.
“Is there anything we can do to help Mom?” Kathryn asks.
“Oh heavens honey, no. The further away from this kitchen you are, the better,” she replies, much to Chakotay and Phoebe’s amusement - and Kathryn’s annoyance.
“I think she knows you pretty well after all, my love,” Chakotay adds.
Kathryn tuts and promptly punches him playfully in the chest.
“Unbelievable! You try to do something nice…” Kathryn grumbles, her hands first being thrown up in the air as if to give up and then landing perfectly on her hips.
Chakotay thinks this payback for Kathryn’s joke about his fire-making skills from earlier but doesn’t dare say it. Though, truth be told, he can’t deny finding her sexy when she’s mildly annoyed like this.
“If you really want to help honey, go set the table,” Gretchen offers.
“And then both of you go sit down for a bit,” Phoebe adds. “You must still be exhausted and Frank and I can do the rest.”
“You sure?” Chakotay asks.
“Absolutely,” Frank agrees.
“Deal!” Kathryn exclaims and gets to work on the table.
Once they’re done Kathryn and Chakotay make their way into the lounge and cuddle up together on the sofa next to the warm fire Maeve has been toasting herself in front of for the last half an hour. She jumps up to join them and snuggles down, resting her head on Chakotay’s thigh, too tired herself to ask for any fuss but he gives her some anyway.
As Kathryn’s breathing evens out, Chakotay knows she’s fallen asleep against his chest.
With his wife in one arm and their dog under the other he realises how precious this moment is. And how unexpectedly full his life, and his heart, are.