Chapter Text
It all started on a Friday, 3:15 PM. School just ended, and Emira walked into a cleared out classroom with its club meeting canceled for the day. Or, at least, the room would have been cleared out aside from four people: Her brother, Luz’s little friends, and the human’s weird dog/cat thing.
They were all chatting amongst themselves right up until Emira shut the door to announce her arrival.
“Alright, everybody,” her tone was uncharacteristically stern, “I’ve brought you all here for one reason and one reason only.”
The pet raised his paw.
“Yes...Luz’s pet?”
“First off, I’m the King of Demons. Not a pet,” He explained with annoyance, “Second, where is the free food?”
“...What?”
“The other one said there’d be food at this thing.”
“...Ed?” Emira turned to her brother.
“To be fair, I did think you would bring snacks,” he shrugged,
“Why would--that doesn’t--In what way did I make you think there’d be snacks?”
“Well, who sets up a meeting without snacks?”
“So, there’s no food?” King asked.
“No, there isn’t any food.”
“I’m out,” King got up and began to leave the room, but Emira grabbed him by the back of his collar and lifted him up.
“You’re not going anywhere,” she said pointedly, “Because everyone here is brought together for a single purpose.”
“And what purpose is that?” Willow couldn’t help but question.
“Easy,” Emira turned to the group, “We’re all here to deal with the Luz and Amity situation.”
“What Luz and Amity situation?”
“The situation of the insanely obvious romantic tension between those two.”
…
“I’m pretty sure that tension is one-sided,” Gus pointed out.
“And I’m pretty sure that it’s none of our business,” Willow argued, “This is Luz and Amity’s problem. They should be the ones to solve it.”
“They are going to be the ones to solve it,” Emira explained, “We’re just gonna give them a nudge in the right direction.”
“But why, though? It’s not like it’s bothering anybody.”
“It’s bothering us,” Edric added, “Because, for you two, Amity’s fussing over her crush ends the second the bell screams. For Em and I? We have to live with it. Besides, you’re both Luz’s best friends. Wouldn’t it make you happy knowing she was in a loving relationship?”
“That’s assuming that Luz even likes Amity that way.”
“Which is why we brought this guy,” Emira lifted King, who cocked his head in confusion. “You see, we need someone who spends time with Luz the most so they can judge her feelings for Mittens.”
“I don’t pay attention to junk like that!” King whined, “I told you: I’m the King of Demons. I don’t have time to care about mushy romantic nonsense.”
“But Luz once said that you liked to watch this romantic soap opera,” Gus pointed out.
“Yeah, but that’s art! There’s a difference!”
“Even if you don’t know anything now, you can always find out later,” Emira explained to the tiny tyrant, “You can, you know, be our spy on the inside.”
“Hm...the idea of espionage does interest me,” King thought for a moment, ultimately shaking his head soon after, “But I still don’t understand why I have to do it.”
“Again, we need a person who spends the most time with Luz. And you live with her, so you’re the best candidate.”
“We would’ve asked the Owl Lady,” Edric admitted, “But she’s...what’s the word I’m looking for?”
“Terrifying beyond the capacity of belief,” Emira supplied, to which Ed snapped his fingers.
“Not exactly one word, but I’ll take it.”
“Hey! I’m terrifying!” King squealed, “Back when I was at the top of my game, many trembled before me due to my great power!”
“And how about now?”
“...I can bite your ankles. That’s way more than what Eda can do at the moment.”
“How scary,” Emira then finally dropped King and turned her attention towards the rest of the group. “Anyways, once we finally gauge how Luz feels, the five of us can work from there. Because if Luz likes Amity, then we can nudge them together. And if she doesn’t, then Ed and I can prepare Amity for the worst, while the rest of you can convince Luz to let our sister down gently. Either way, this whole thing can finally come to an end, and we can all go back to the rest of our lives. So, what do you say?”
“I’m in!” Edric exclaimed.
“Ed, I know you’re in. I pitched this to you yesterday.”
Emira pointed at both Gus and Willow.
“I’m focused on you two.”
The younger witches then looked at each other, both of them obviously uncertain if this is the best choice.
“Luz and Amity are my closest friends,” said Willow, “Luz, more so nowadays. Sure, I’d like to help them, but only if they come to me about it. And it isn’t fair to just assume that we know what’s best for either of them, no matter what the situation is.”
“I, for one, am more than excited about the prospect of being a part of a secret team,” Gus claimed, “But I doubt this calls for it. Sorry.”
Emira looked between both witches, glancing at Edric, who just shrugged in response. Letting out a deep sigh, Emira slipped on a serious expression as she faced her younger peers.
“Look, Ed’s right. You guys don’t live with Amity. You don’t get to see how messed up she gets when it comes to her crush on Luz. And sure, it was funny the first few times. But now? It’s a little sad.
“All she has to do is say three words. Three. Simple. Words. And just the idea alone of saying those words terrifies the crap out of Amity, meaning that this ends when Luz comes to her about it. And there’s not a doubt in my mind that Luz would confront Amity about it if she knew. But she doesn’t, so she won’t. And trust me. I’ve tried to clue her in…”
A Week Ago
Emira walked up to Luz at her locker and tapped the human on the shoulder. She turned around and happily smiled when she saw who it was.
“Hi, Emira.”
“Hey. You do realize that Amity likes you, right?”
“...”
“And I mean full-on crushing on you.”
“...”
“Hard.”
“...”
“...”
“... Pfft --Hahaha! Good one, Em!” Luz said between laughs, “For a second there, I thought you were serious.”
“...I am being serious.”
“Sure you are,” Luz winked.
Present Day
“...That is pretty troubling,” Willow admitted.
“Exactly. I get that you don’t want to interfere. I really do. But if we stand aside and let Luz and Amity figure things out for themselves, then they are going to be seventy with Amity as red as bloodroot and Luz being none the wiser. I don’t think I can stand seeing that happen. Do you?”
Willow and Gus still seemed a little uncertain.
“When you say a nudge, what does that mean?” Willow asked.
“I mean nothing more than suggesting stuff,” Emira explained, seeing her chance, “Like, asking Luz about her feelings toward Amity, or convincing them to spend some time together. Any revelations they make or feelings they have that come after will still be their own. We just slightly helped put them on the right path. That’s all.”
“...Alright.”
“Really?”
“I still think that they should work this out themselves,” Willow made clear, “But, I guess I can see the good that can come from this.”
“If Willow’s in, then so am I,” Gus gave a thumbs up.
“Well, I’m out.”
All eyes went to King.
“Why?”
“Because this group has done nothing but assault me physically and emotionally,” the demon detested, “As your future ruler, I deserve respect! So if you want me to be a part of this, I better get something good out of it.”
“...Well, what do you want?”
“The fear of my enemies and the admiration of all of those who are beneath me!”
…
“How about we buy you a cupcake and admit that you’re terrifying?” Willow suggested.
“Make it two cupcakes, and you got a deal.”
“Done.”
“Great,” Emira faced the whole group, “So, now that we’re all in agreement, are there any more questions?”
Gus raised his hand.
“What is it?”
“Can we have a cool team name?”
“...We’re four teenagers and an animal mascot working together on jumpstarting Luz and Amity’s relationship...You better believe we’re getting a cool team name.”
And thus, Cupid’s Army was born.