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“Virginia Potts, will you marry me?”
Pepper was definitely caught off-guard, the sight of this man getting down on one knee and offering her his mother’s ring was the very last thing she ever expected to happen tonight, or quite possibly ever.
It seemed as if the night of the Firefighter’s Benefit was trying to make it to the history books, because apparently it wasn’t enough that she almost gave in and kissed her boss earlier that night. She was also getting a proposal, a marriage proposal, and even if Pepper was the kind of person who basically knew everything that was happening everywhere, never in a million years did she ever see this one coming. She came here in the first place because she wanted to sort things out, because that dance... that dance at the benefit made her realize a lot of things, and a marriage proposal was definitely not her definition of ‘sorting things out.’
Still she had known him a long time. She knew about his past and every single secret that he foolishly thought he had managed to keep from her. She knew everything about him, both the good and the bad, the selfish and the selfless side, but she loved him anyway… at least she thought she did.
He had his flaws, he wasn’t perfect, but the sum of it all was that he was a good man, a respectable man. He had his own ways of showing her how much he truly loved her and though at times those ways were full of reservations, she got the message nonetheless. She knew how he felt towards her, now more than ever.
Any other girl would kill to be in her shoes, she was sure of it, and she actually understood the appeal. He was beautiful, smart, charming, successful… and if not for his colorful romantic history, he would have been perfect. Still, while Pepper knew perfect didn’t exist, this person was a good choice, perhaps even the best choice, which was why to anyone who was watching the very obvious answer would be a yes.
Yes, she should marry him.
She took a deep breath, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat as she was reminded that there was a time in her life when this was exactly what she wanted — someone she could rely on, someone who made her feel safe, someone who got her back no matter what…
She still wanted that someone, exactly that someone, but the past three months had also made her realize how easily she could lose the people she loved and the idea frightened her. The agony of living through almost a hundred days of uncertainty, thinking of nothing but the what ifs and the what could have beens, was enough for her to take a step back and really think about the question being posed to her.
Was she ready for this?
Should she seize the moment? Live the day? Start living her life the way she had always wanted to?
She had always imagined this day, had even pictured herself saying yes…
“Pepper?”
She felt the cold breeze against the blue, low-back dress she was still wearing and the harsh reality came crashing down on her all at once. She gazed at him, kneeling in front of her with eyes looking so earnest, so in love that she really hated herself for what she was about to do.
Because this wasn’t what she wanted anymore. This was never what she wanted all along.
She shook her head no, a few tears streamed down her face as she quickly made her way towards the exit.
Pepper had made her choice and she could only hope that it was the right one.
She never looked back... She ran away and she never looked back.
Pepper drove the first twenty miles feeling as utterly cruel as the ice queen Tony had always dubbed her to be whenever she scheduled his board meetings for him, but she also drove the next fifty miles feeling a sense of clarity that was quite novel even to her.
She had been driving around the past hour, initially quite aimlessly until she finally acknowledged what she wanted to do instead. It did not then take long before she found herself pulling into Tony’s driveway, kicking off her heels as she passed the living room before rushing into his workshop and beating JARVIS into announcing her presence.
She simply stood there, still in the blue dress he had complimented earlier that night, barefoot and grasping a bottle of champagne in one hand, while he gazed at her quietly, apologetically. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows and his tie was undone, which made her wonder if he himself had only gotten back as well. She wondered where he had been because it had been hours since she last saw him…
She had no idea how long they stood there, neither of them knowing what to say, and neither wanting to break the silence. The last conversation that they had, after all, was not exactly comforting and they left this thing, whatever it was between them, in a whole lot of uncertainty.
“Pep, where did you disappear to?” Tony finally asked and Pepper realized that it was probably the gentlest, most vulnerable she had ever seen him, even more vulnerable than when she had to replace the arc reactor in his chest just a few days ago. “I came back to the balcony for you… well, it took me a while but I did go back. It’s just that something came up and—”
“I was at The Ritz-Carlton,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. “I had to meet… someone.”
“A friend? Tonight? You know I don’t like it when you have—”
“It was unexpected, a surprise.”
He simply nodded and Pepper ached to close the distance between them, wanting to put the memory of the proposal she had rejected behind her. She approached him, placing the champagne bottle on his worktable for him to pick up and open while she retrieved two flute glasses from the cabinet in the far end of the workshop.
“Pep, what are we celebrating?”
He was looking at her curiously and Pepper reveled in the warmth and familiarity of those dark brown eyes. She watched him as he filled their glasses to the brim, and when she did hand him his drink (thankfully Tony did not make a fuss on how he did not like being handed things this time around), she couldn’t help but catch his gaze, hoping against hope that somehow he knew…
“Nothing big…” She gazed at him longingly. “But I did make an important choice.”
“And what would that be?”
He waggled his eyebrows at her but she simply smiled, narrowing her eyes at him as he tried to coax her to tell. But Pepper was not giving anything away… she didn’t know why, all she knew was that she was not ready to let him know just yet.
“Well, if you’re not going to tell me, was it a good choice, Potts?”
He was staring at her too intently and she couldn’t breathe, but it was the good kind of breathlessness if there was ever such a thing.
She had decided to seize the day, to start living her life the way she had always wanted to.
You… I chose you, Tony. Because it’s always been you…
“I hope so…” She told him, meaning every single word. “I really think it’s the best choice.”
He clinked his glass with hers, and the fact that he was eyeing her closely was not lost on her. He wasn’t exactly being subtle about it after all, but she didn’t want to call him out for it. She would some other time, but not now, not tonight.
“Pep?”
“Yeah?”
“I…” He shook his head, and a part of her really hoped that what he wanted to say was, ‘I love you,’ but she was thankful that he didn’t, not yet. “I’m lucky I have you.”
She simply nodded, agreeing. “And I’m glad you’re back, Tony…”
“I’m glad, too. I did miss you, Pep.”
“Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” she asked albeit a little bit playfully, but she allowed herself to be, just this once.
He refilled their glasses and before they could toast again to the best decision that she would never ever disclose to him, he smirked at her and Pepper realized that maybe, somehow, he did know after all.
“I hope not, Ms. Potts.”
***