Work Text:
Shiro can't wake up. He's been in limbo for so long that he doesn't remember what it's like to have a body anymore, let alone this fake, made-up one that isn't even the original. Consciousness drags at the fringes of his mind, but the more he runs to get to it, the further away it drifts, unreachable and impossible.
Nothing's impossible, he reminds himself, recalling his own words from years ago. Who he said them to, he's long forgotten them, his memory losing them to the sands of time, letting them be swallowed up. Wake up, nothing's impossible.
Keith is speaking to him from somewhere beyond the realms of his mind. Each plea echoes ceaselessly, 'fight' and 'come back' ringing in dissonance.
There are so many memories he has of Keith, hidden away in the depths of thought, only to resurface now. Flashes of colour, speech, emotions. A stomach empty, a chest full of love, a head aching with each heartbeat. It's all him, it's all Takashi Shirogane over the years, looping and crossing and meeting over and over again.
Adam's there too, and Shiro can almost remember how he smelt like engine oil and fresh earth, something that had been repulsive at first and then slowly grew on him. There's love there, too. So, so much of it that he'd died a little the first time he'd felt it.
The tide pulls him in and he drifts off into his memories, the echoes of Keith's voice fading to nothing.
-------
He sits in the cockpit of the jet, listening to the shouting of his crewmates on the ground. Most of them are checking the fuel in their cruisers, though some are chatting with each other and joking around. Friends, all of them, peers and equals. It's just that when they see Shiro, their conversations fall into reverent silence, like the guy at the top of their grade is somehow so much more than that, like he's a king or a God.
Really, he's just lonely.
Shiro startles when a clang comes from the cargo pit. He turns to see a tanned face peeking around the frame of the cockpit door.
"Hi there," the stranger says. "I'm Adam. You must be Takashi."
Shiro hasn't heard that name in years. It makes him smile, though it feels a little bitter around the edges, like lemonade without the sugar stirred through properly. "You can just call me Shiro."
"Shiro?" Adam frowns. "How the hell do you get 'Shiro' from Takashi?"
"My surname is Shirogane," Shiro explains, trying not to sound condescending or bored. This guy is cute, after all, and seems to be willing to talk to him like he's a normal person.
Adam's face goes blank for a moment, then he blushes. "I'm an idiot."
"It's okay," Shiro says, chuckling, "I've had a guy ask me what the air felt like on the moon. That was after he'd seen footage of us in our suits, too. And like, years of living on Earth, surrounded by air."
Adam snorts and Takashi thinks the wrinkle of his nose couldn't be any cuter. "Did he ask if the moon is made of cheese, too?"
"Pfff, no, he already knew that it obviously is," Shiro says.
"Oh, obviously," Adam scoffs. A huge grin stretches across his face and he walks over to stand beside Shiro, gazing down at the control board. He feels warm, standing there, trustworthy in the way his hands link behind his back and he surveys his surroundings with soft brown eyes. They've just met, and Shiro decides he wouldn't be upset if Adam were to touch him, to grasp onto his shoulder and lean over, murmuring instructions or announcing an observation. "Anyway, I came here to tell you that I'll be your co-pilot for today. Well, hopefully for longer than just today, but your original co has been transferred, so I'm here."
Since early in the morning, Shiro has been wondering what happened to his roommate. He thought that maybe the Garrison had made a mistake, left him alone and figured he could pilot by himself, the same way he always has. He was wrong, obviously. "I'm gonna be honest: I've never actually had a co before."
It seems like the right thing to say, just so Adam knows what he's getting himself into. I'm fucking useless at working with other people, he wants to add, just so he can appear dumber and more approachable than he probably looks. Self-deprecation is something he promised he'd leave behind with high school, though, so he keeps his mouth shut.
"Well I've never had a co as cute as you, so it's a first for both of us," Adam says lightly, plonking himself down in the seat beside Shiro.
Before Shiro can come up with something to say, like, 'holy shit I might be falling in love with you' or 'I think I just stopped breathing for a second', the cockpit's comms crackle and come to life, feeding through the chatter of the other pilots.
"Let's go, Shir-o," Adam says, bringing the cruiser's engine to life.
Shiro has nothing to say to that, acutely aware of the fact that this may be the first time another person has ever rendered him speechless. It’s kind of nice, really. A comfortable silence where he doesn’t feel obligated to speak or stay quiet, the kind of tranquility that just is.
Despite it being nice, it’s also overwhelming, being in this guy's easy, light-hearted presence, joking around like they've known each other for much longer than a mere five minutes. Shiro's heart is racing and his ears feel hot from the relaxed anxiety of it all. He isn't sure what to make of this pretty boy.
The static in his brain only stops once they've taken to the sky, soaring high above the complex. Adam's face is blank and concentrated, so Shiro follows his example and grits his teeth as he jams a throttle forward, setting himself to be the lead bombardier of the group.
A part of him hopes he gets to keep Adam as his co pilot, even if it's just so that he can get enough time to learn more about him. The easy boy with the glasses and the pretty smile, he thinks, committing the image of Adam's grin to memory.
-------
The stars are high above them, casting sparkling silver light. Over the course of a month, Adam and Shiro have found that the roof is a good place to meet up and chat, having come up here several times already, sneaking out of their shared dorm room together.
It's good up here, with the view and the breeze. Even the concrete isn't too uncomfortable; they bring their blankets with them, set their pillows behind their heads. ‘Good back support,’ Shiro likes to joke. It makes Adam laugh every time.
Tonight is the tenth time they've come here. With each visit, they've put themselves closer beside each other, until tonight, their shoulders almost brush at every breath.
"Hey Takashi," Adam says, breaking the silence, "why'd you become a pilot?"
Shiro isn't really sure how to answer. In interviews for magazines and the news, he says that he wants to explore the world and further humanity with his discoveries, but that's only part of the reason. The other reasons… they're the kinds of things that people whisper about when they think Shiro isn't looking their way.
Adam is staring as he waits for an answer, so Shiro stops thinking about it all and blurts out what comes to him. "I wanna break the edges of the universe. I wanna go somewhere that we don't even know about, somewhere outside our galaxy. Ever since I was little, I've just wanted to see things, touch them, discover. I want everyone to experience what I can, make it so that anyone can go to space if they'd like. All people deserve the chance to explore."
Adam is silent for a moment, then smirks and shakes his head, looking back at the sky again. "Well shit. When I was a kid, I just wanted to be a pilot so I could get the hell away from my family."
"Were they…?" Shiro lets the question trail off, leaving the implications to sit uncomfortably between them. Just that, well… nothing is really uncomfortable with Adam. Even the worst topics. The implications simply sit.
"No, no," Adam says, "I mean they were, but it didn't work so much as it just made me tired."
"They did that to you and it made you 'tired'?" Shiro can't help but smile at how bizarre the statement is, even despite the horrible circumstances.
Adam shrugs. "My dad left when I was little. Mom married my stepdad. He was a really good guy, took care of my brother and I. Then Mom turned into a fucking asshole, did some damage and left. Ended up with two stepdads who were really cool, but just a little overbearing sometimes. But yeah, my biological dad fucked me up enough as a kid that I didn't give a shit when Mom left."
"Wow," Shiro says, like an intelligent human being. There's nothing really to say, though. No way to reassure someone who is already reassured, no way to comfort them, no way to support them. All of their trauma just is.
Adam sighs, a rueful smile twitching at his lips. It's like a wobbly smile, just that it has all of the vulnerability and none of the emotion. How Adam can sever his feelings the way he does, joke and smile through the pain - it's incredible. "That kinda killed the vibe, didn't it?" he says, in that light, yet slightly scratched tone he always does, the one that means he has feelings and would rather mask them with humour. It's as attractive as it is destructive, but Shiro knows it would be hypocritical of him to chatiste, so holds his tongue on the matter.
"No, no, it's okay," Shiro says instead, "I'm just… not very good with that kind of stuff. My family isn't like that at all."
Adam gives him a questioning look. It's the kind of look that makes Shiro want to tell him everything, to finally speak to him about all the closed doors and hushed whispers of his childhood home, the fine china stacked away in the cabinets and the quiet hush of the dining room, even the slightest clink of a teacup or bowl enough to shatter the peace and send his mother into an ocean she seemed to drown in each day, his father looking at him with such complete and utter disapproval that it broke his young heart like it was nothing.
He wants to tell Adam everything. But 'want' has never meant 'can' in Shiro's world, so he fumbles over the words and minces them in a way that would make his mother hum in discontent.
"Asian households are just… different. It's more about respect for your parents and stuff like that," Shiro says, "I'm not really 'close' with my parents the same way Westerners are."
Chalking it all up to your Asian parenting, Shiro's mind spits in a voice that sounds very much like his father's, very mature.
Like a light in the dark, Adam nods and smiles in understanding, nothing like doubt or concern clouding his gaze. "I've heard about that before," he says, "I went to Indonesia a few years ago and it was like that."
If Adam is so desperate to be there for Shiro, Shiro feels as though he has to match his intensity. "I'm sorry you grew up like that, though," he says, hoping that his eyes can do the rest of the talking, can say, I'm sorry I haven't always known you and been able to protect you, even if I couldn't have, I feel like I should've anyway, like I might’ve been able to save you if I'd really tried hard enough.
Something like resigned understanding flickers in Adam's gaze before he turns away again, lost in the sight of the stars above. He sighs and his chest deflates so much, it's like he doesn't have ribs anymore. Spikes of ice grip Shiro's heart at the sight, showering down into the pits of his stomach and twisting.
"I'm not sorry," Adam says, voice steady, "it taught me to be independent and responsible, made me more mature. My trauma helped realise what kind of person I want to be for the people around me."
Adam's quiet, firm strength is humbling to see. Thoughts of what kind of person he wants to be echoes in Shiro's mind. He wants to be good, wants to be kind and patient, a great leader and a better friend. He wants to be more like Adam, he realises, wants to be sure of himself in a way that doesn't come off as egotistical, wants to help others in a way that doesn't belittle them and wants to be humble with his achievements. He wants so many things and the more he looks at Adam, the more he begins to realise that this is the man to help him do just that.
"Obviously I didn't learn to be handsome and funny from my trauma - that was all just natural - but I did still learn a hell of a lot," Adam says. Joking to dismiss himself; Shiro's too used to this trick by now to fall for it.
If only you could see yourself the way I do.
"I admire your strength," Shiro admits, forcing his hands to stop shaking and swallowing the lump in his throat, "and your kindness."
The smile he receives in return for his compliment is enough to make his heart turn to goo and for him to forget the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. Being this affectionate with another person… no one ever says how terrifying it is. And not even in the 'I was abused by my parents as a kid and now I don't know how to love way' but also the 'I'm just shy and dorky and want someone to hold my hand and show me everything way'. Closing his eyes, he can feel that deep in the back of his mind, Adam slips further through the cracks, working his way to the most hidden and coveted parts of Shiro's memory. Warmth floods through Shiro at the feeling of Adam's hand slipping into his own.
He opens his eyes, and-
Adam looks back at him, really looks, like he's seeing more than just Shiro, like he's seeing his past and future as well. His skin is impossibly both soft and rough, his palms lumpy and calloused, but also padded, squeezable, soft in the way a pillow is. Cool metal settles against Shiro's ring finger from where Adam wears a silver band that Shiro doesn't yet know the meaning of on his middle finger, the shine of it catching in the moonlight and reflecting light into a place unknown. Adam's eyes are bright, absorbing the twinkle of the stars effortlessly. His skin glows, teeth shining with more luminance than seems possible, lips stretched wide and looking so, so kissable. He's beautiful enough that Shiro almost forgets to breathe, all involuntary functions becoming realised.
"And I admire how brave you are," Adam says in a voice as soft as silk, "even if you are the biggest dork I've ever met."
Shiro laughs at that, stopping when he catches Adam's eye again. His heart stutters, skips, once, twice, three times, then:
"Can I kiss you?" he blurts out.
Adam chokes out a laugh. "I'm not making my heart eyes at you for nothing, you big nerd."
"I was just making sure!" Shiro says, pretending to be offended but grinning anyway.
Adam rolls his eyes and shuffles closer to Shiro, pressing into his side and putting a hand against his ribs. Breath caught in his throat, Shiro stares up at him in wonder, unsure of what to make of the whole situation, awed and humbled at the idea that someone as pretty as this wants to spend so much time with him.
Heat floods through Shiro's body as Adam leans down and kisses him, his lips soft and gentle. Time seems non-existent outside of them, lost in each other almost completely. All he can hear is the scuffle of fabric as Adam fiddles with his shirt, the short sharp breaths that Adam takes through his nose, the low hum when they come together in just the right way. The smell of engine oil still clings loosely to Adam’s skin from their air drill before, as well as soap and dirt from being inside the Garrison greenhouse before lights-out.
Adam pulls away first, smiling crookedly down at Shiro. His cheeks are flushed, looking dark purple in the starlight, his glasses perched askew on his nose. He doesn’t even flinch when Shiro reaches up and fixes them.
"Where do you want this to go?" Adam asks.
I don’t think I can take another breath without you by my side. "I wanna date you," Shiro says, "we're basically already dating, but I want it to be official. Tell our parents, friends. Sleep in the same bed."
Adam kisses him again. "Let's do it."
-------
"Adam, this is Keith. Keith, Adam," Shiro says, gesturing between the two of them, hoping - praying - that this works.
Keith looks bored and tired, eyes aged well beyond his years, bags under them making it seem as if he stopped sleeping long ago. Adam is about the same, the only difference being his easy smile and loose shoulders.
"Hey-a," Adam says, holding out a hand for Keith to shake, "Takashi's told me all about you. Good things, obviously."
Keith hesitates, but takes Adam's hand and gives it a shake. He's not too firm or loose, just goes along with Adam as he says, "Shiro talks about you too."
Adam raises an eyebrow at that, turning to look at Shiro with a smirk. He taps a finger against his chin in thought. "Does he just?"
"He knows all about just how annoying you are," Shiro says, "and all about what you're like as a teacher, just in case he's ever unfortunate enough to land himself in one of your classes."
Adam rolls his eyes. "If he can put up with you teaching him, I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine in my class."
"Says the one who set fire to the computers last year." God, that day was fucking hilarious.
Adam blanches, scoffs and punches Shiro in the arm. "That was an accident, I didn't mean to! One of the boys started dancing around the room and acting like a lunatic, what was I supposed to do?"
"Put out the fire first?" Shiro suggests.
"Oh, fuck off."
"Language!"
All the while, Keith has been glancing back and forth between them like he's watching a tennis match, a crooked smile growing on his face. Earlier, Shiro was worried that Keith wouldn't like Adam, or would take a while to warm up to him, but this is going better than expected. In fact, a smile within the first minute is an incredible reward.
"Now," Shiro says, clapping his hands together and making sure that both of his boys are paying attention, "I was thinking that because we all have a day off today, we could head into the city for a bit, see a movie or something."
The suggestion hangs in the air as Adam shrugs in response and Keith mulls over it.
"I guess," Keith says after a moment, shrugging the exact same way Adam did, right down to the raise of his eyebrows and the twitch of his nose. It's unnerving. Are all the people I like the same?
"Okay - not the reaction I was expecting," Shiro says, frowning as he thinks of other things they can do, unsure of what is even appropriate for Keith, "something else then?"
"Oh no, I didn't mean it that way, babe, just… I don't really mind," Adam says.
Rubbing his arm and scuffing his boot on the concrete, Keith shyly suggests that they could stay home and watch something.
"I like that idea more," Adam says, "no offense, honey."
"We'll still have to go shopping for snacks," Shiro says.
Crossing his arms, Adam raises an eyebrow and scoffs, "I know for a fact that you have a candy stash back home, young man."
"What?" Shiro knows full-well what Adam is talking about (the stash is in the laundry room, right at the top shelf behind some cleaning detergents), but he won't admit to it for as long as he lives. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
A shake of the head is all Shiro gets in response. Ushering Keith into the car, Shiro opens the passenger door and kisses Adam on the cheek as he slips past. By the time he gets into the car from the driver's side, Adam is already giving Keith some highly inappropriate suggestions for movies they can watch, like Friday the 13th and The Conjuring.
"Takashi's a big baby about horror movies," Adam snickers to Keith in an exaggerated stage whisper once Shiro pulls out of the Garrison parking lot.
"I am not," Shiro says, reaching out a blind hand to gently smack Adam on the ribs.
"You screamed when we watched The Ring!" Adam says, "not to mention that time you started shaking when we watched Texas Chainsaw!"
"No, no, no, Texas is not part of the argument - that movie's horrible!" Shiro says.
Adam reaches over and pats his knee. "It was pretty bad, huh?"
"Can we watch it?" Keith asks, sticking his head between the two of them with a toothy grin.
"No!" Adam and Shiro say immediately.
Keith groans.
"Not when Shiro's around, anyway," Adam mutters.
In the back seat, Keith pumps his fist and settles in, a satisfied grin on his face. It's such a heart-warming thing to see that Shiro can't even bring himself to chide Adam, who sits smirking beside him and staring out of the windshield, purposely avoiding eye contact.
How Adam has managed to unlock this side of Keith and in such a short span of time, Shiro has no idea. When he first met Keith, the kid barely even looked him in the eye, let alone smiled at him. Adam makes this all look too easy. He’d be jealous if he didn’t know Adam better - the man’s naturally good at everything he does.
They make a beeline for the confectionery aisle of the grocery store, Shiro grabbing way more chocolate than necessary and Adam grabbing a few other miscellaneous candies, all of them made by cheap brands that Shiro has never even heard of.
"You don't always have to get the off-brand stuff, you know," Shiro says, holding up a bag of Cadbury chocolates.
Adam rolls his eyes and pushes past Shiro, heading for the ice cream aisle. "What, and pay a dollar more for something that tastes the same but has a different name? No ma'am."
"Grab something, Keith," Shiro says, turning to face the boy, "there's gotta be something you want for yourself."
Keith shakes his head, but when Shiro turns away, he can see Keith eyeing a bag of caramel candies. Trying to seem nonchalant, he wanders over and grabs the bag, stacking it away in his already-full left arm.
"You don't have to get that," Keith says, face flushed as he avoids eye contact.
Shiro shrugs. "No biggie. I love-" he reads the packet, unsure of what the hell he just grabbed, "-eclairs."
Keith scratches his head and stares at the ground, the scuffing of his boot the only sound between the two of them. After a minute, Adam comes back, holding a tub of ice cream.
"I thought you said you didn't like expensive, on-brand stuff," Shiro teases, reading the Ben and Jerry's label on the tub.
"Ben and Jerry's is different," Adam says, "they're expensive because all their stuff is ethically sourced and their workers are paid fairly, not because they're doing a cash grab."
Ever since they were young, Adam has always kept up-to-date with ethical companies. When shopping, Shiro assures him that he's happy to buy whatever Adam wants, expensive or not, but Adam is always intent on shopping second hand or getting expensive things on sale. I told Keith about that, didn't I? Maybe that's why he likes Adam so much.
"Did you get something, Keith?" Adam asks. "Cause dude, we're not leaving the store till you grab at least one thing, on-brand or not."
Keith frowns. "I'm okay."
"C'mon, man, let us treat you!" Adam says, "You can grab anything you want, I promise. Hell, get a block of cheese for all I care! Actually, saying that now, I'm gonna go grab some apricot cheese."
Adam disappears again, leaving Shiro and Keith to stand alone.
"I really don't want anything," Keith says before Shiro can pick up on Adam's suggestion.
"You're not a burden or anything, you know," Shiro says, "I wanna get stuff for you. Not because of anything, I just think you deserve things that will make you happy, okay? If you do want something, just tell me. I'm not gonna judge you or anything - I've agreed to take care of you and that's what I plan on doing."
"Okay," Keith says, his eyes tinged red and his voice thick with emotion.
"If it makes you feel better," Shiro says, "Adam used to be the same. I'd offer to pay for stuff all the time and he'd get pretty upset with me about it. Still does, sometimes."
Keith seems to feel better after hearing that, because he nods and wipes his tears away, standing straight. By the time Adam comes back, he's chattering away to Shiro about the latest range of NewSky hover bikes that have come out, comparing the mechanics to the older generation and Shiro's own bike.
At the cash register, Adam scans everything while Shiro bags, efficient in the way he knows where all the barcodes are and puts them through easily. As Shiro bags the last item, Adam quickly goes through with payment, not even giving Shiro a chance to get his own transaction chip out.
"I said I was paying for the next set of groceries!" Shiro whines, pouting and shoving Adam's shoulder.
"These aren't groceries, babe," Adam says, rolling his eyes and reaching for the grocery bag, "we bought candy."
Shiro slaps Adam's hand away before he can close a fist around the grocery bag strap. "Nuh-uh, you're not carrying the bags after paying for them. No way. Doing too much."
"Look at you, Mr Gentleman," Adam gushes, pinching Shiro's cheek. When Shiro winces, he grins, pressing a chaste kiss to the sore spot and smacking his backside instead.
"Not in public!" Shiro yelps, wincing internally at how whiney it makes him sound. Really, he’s in love with the way Adam touches him and both of them know it.
Adam kisses him as a way of an apology. His lips are warm, if not brief, leaving behind a tingling sensation that spreads through Shiro's face and makes him feel hot. Legs frozen, Shiro watches Adam walk off, knees growing weak when Adam winks at him.
Keith moves in his peripheral and suddenly he's back in the moment, blinking himself out of his daze and trailing behind Adam as they head for the parking lot. As they reach the car, Adam pulls out his set of keys and unlocks the car.
Forgot I gave him keys, Shiro thinks as he climbs into the passenger side, perching the grocery bag on his thighs once he sits. He looks good behind the wheel. Like we could have a whole family stuffed in here one day.
He smiles at the thought, but it's broken when Adam chides him for setting the groceries on his legs, since ‘it'll make the ice cream melt.’ Shiro sets the bag on the floor, ignoring the way Keith snickers in the back seat.
Back at the house, Adam ushers Shiro and Keith into the lounge room, gets a movie ready (it's Friday the 13th, much to Shiro's distaste) and snuggles into the couch beside Shiro. Keith is sitting with them as well, but he leans against the armrest, only just in reach. Probably best not to bother him for now, Shiro thinks.
The movie starts with a sex scene, as many horror movies seem to - hence why Shiro hates them and Adam loves them. Unable to help himself, Shiro throws out a hand to cover Keith's eyes, regretting the fact that he can't magically block his ears as well.
Keith groans and moves his hand away, staring at the TV and raising his eyebrows sarcastically. A pair of boobs cover the entire screen, so he sighs, grabs Shiro's hand, and covers his face again. Adam cackles, shovelling a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.
The lovers on screen get murdered and that's when Keith's attention is caught again, him watching the screen with a crooked smile and shaking his head. Shiro cringes away from the sight, burying his face into Adam's shoulder, sighing at the way it starts jolting when Adam laughs.
Shiro pushes a palm into Adam's thigh, hoping to shut him up. "You're laughing. Someone's getting brutally murdered and you're laughing."
"Oh my God, stop quoting early twenty-first century memes at me," Adam says, snorting.
"Those two should've listened to the Church," Keith says, "waited till marriage. Says it in the Bible, Matthew 17:18: 'Thou shalt not be murdered by a serial killer wearing a hockey mask if thou waiteth until thou art wedded.'"
"Takashi, honey," Adam says, nudging Shiro in the ribs, "when you told me Keith was cool, you did not tell me he was 'making-fun-of-the-Church' cool."
"Didn't know that was part of your criteria," Shiro mutters, still keeping his face buried into Adam's shoulder to block out the sound of screaming coming from the TV.
Adam mock-gasps, pulling away from Shiro and making him face plant into the couch. "Are we already at that stage of marriage? You're starting to lose sight of the man you once fell in love with? Forget who he was?"
"No, I still remember that he's a huge fucking asshole," Shiro grumbles.
"Oh darling, you wound me," Adam says, but shuffles to sit beside Shiro again.
"Do you guys usually talk this much during movies?" Keith asks.
"Yeah Takashi, shut up," Adam says, snickering.
Shiro ignores him.
As the movie wears on, Adam and Keith continue to giggle and poke fun at the characters, mocking the dialogue and anything else that they find dumb; basically, they don't stop talking. Shiro pretends to stay grumpy for a while, but when Keith starts eating the snacks (taking a special liking to the caramel eclair things), Adam starts petting the back of his head and him and Keith clearly begin to bond, Shiro can't help but smile into the couch cushion and listen, feeling proud of himself and his boys. For Keith to be this relaxed around Adam after such a short time of knowing him… it's incredible. Even for Adam (who's usually quick to figure people out) to become friends with Keith this quickly is astonishing. It makes Shiro's chest feel so full of warmth, he thinks he's going to burst.
The movie ends and Adam gets up to put something else on. After a bit of discourse, they watch another horror movie, some low-budget, poorly-received one that has little-to-no plot. It's another hour and a half spent munching on snacks and doing bad impressions of the characters.
Shiro doesn't think he'd have it any other way.
The third movie is put on, then a forth and a fifth. Shiro starts to feel bloated from the sheer amount of chocolate he's consumed, but he soldiers through and shoves another fistful of rocky road into his mouth, knowing full-well he'll regret it tomorrow.
At the beginning of the sixth movie, Keith crawls a little closer to Shiro and falls asleep with a head on his shoulder. Adam, who has his legs wrapped around Shiro's waist from the side and Shiro's head cradled against his chest, chuckles.
Tangling his fingers into Shiro's fringe, he asks, "what were you smiling about, when we were in the car on the way home?"
"Oh," Shiro says, unsure of how to respond. Will he think I'm going too fast? "I… I was thinking about how I wanted to start a family. With you."
"Oh," Adam breathes out, sounding slightly more winded than Shiro had.
He’s too frightened to pull away and try to read Adam's face.
Say something, he's probably freaking out. "I dunno, it was just the way you were talking to Keith and it got me wondering what it would be like to actually have kids and stuff with you - when you're ready, of course - and I don't know, it just made me smile, because I really, really, love you and I want a future with you and-"
"Takashi," Adam says, curling his fingers in against Shiro's head.
Oh God, why did I start saying that stuff? Now he's probably really freaked out. "Yeah?"
"I think you have to ask me to marry you first," Adam says, somehow sounding breathless and completely sure of himself at the same time.
"I think I need a ring for that," Shiro says in response.
"I'd marry you anyway," Adam says.
A lump grows in Shiro's throat. "Really?"
"Of course I would," Adam says, "Jesus Christ, Takashi, are you blind? I love you, I'd do anything with you."
"You uh-" Shiro swallows back the lump in his throat and fights off tears, "-you wanna go ring shopping tomorrow?"
"Shopping? With you?" Adam sighs theatrically, but Shiro can still hear the tremor in his voice, breaking through that brave front that he’s put on, "I guess, if you really want."
"Okay," Shiro says, still trying to swallow the lump and failing, "sounds like a plan."
Without another word, Adam wraps his arms around Shiro's head and holds him, kissing the top of his skull before going still. A tear from Adam makes its way into Shiro's hair, a few more falling after it, and Shiro wishes he could reach up and wipe them away, but he stays still, letting Adam just hold him close.
"I love you so much," Adam whispers into Shiro's hair, pressing a kiss there after, "I don't wanna lose you, ever. I don't care what happens."
"Same here," Shiro says, unable to hold back the tears that slide down his cheeks.
Adam gives a shaky laugh, wiping Shiro's face with featherlight fingertips. "Look at us, huh? Two idiots, crying after a happy moment."
Shiro hums in agreement and closes his eyes, letting himself sink back into the comforting tide of an imagined future with Adam. One day, this will all be real.
-------
Shiro wakes with a start, dazed at the sight of Keith, Allura and Krolia standing over him. Banging and crashing rings out as the rest of the team come barging into the room, each of them perking up at the sight of him.
All of them start making comments on how healthy he looks and how they're glad to have him back. He smiles, unsure of what to say and still feeling dizzy. Nagging tugs at the back of his mind, telling him he should be happy and getting to his feet, but his whole body feels heavy, yet empty at the same time.
I should be grateful, he thinks, smiling when Lance says something and everyone else laughs, I should be grateful, but all I want is Adam.
Then Keith leans in and hugs him, pulls him in tight and holds him there, and Shiro lets himself drift back into the present.
Be patient, he reminds himself, remembering something he once told Adam: nothing's impossible.
And in that moment, nothing really is.