Work Text:
Kelso
I’m glad to be home. Don’t get me wrong, California was amazing. The beach, no responsibilities, the ocean, and girls everywhere. California is Hot Chick USA. I had my fill of girls to look at, and a few to mess around with. Donna was cool to hang out with, after she stopped being mopey. How Eric got a smoking hot girl like Donna is beyond me….but she seems to love his puny ass.
It was a solid summer, but I’m ready to get back to life. We’ve been home for a week, and I love seeing my friends again. Who knew I would miss Fez, Hyde and Eric so much? I guess, being friends for life really does have an impact. My happiness at being home is shadowed by my unease about Jackie. I know my girl, there will be consequences for bailing on her. She broke up with me by letter, but I expected that. It’s Jackie…. The girl has a temper. I’m surprised she didn’t call me and rip my head off. That’s one of the things freaking me out….she is calm and appears to not care at all I am home.
I’m hanging out in the basement, waiting for everyone to show up. I’m confused by her reaction to me, I came in the first time. It was blank. Nothing. Jackie isn’t blank. She’s fire. She’s honey on my lips. She’s uncontrolled laughter. She’s sweet and sass. She is always something. I don’t understand blank. I’ve been gone for months, how can her reaction be empty space?
At the very least, I expected her to kick me with her demon kick. I’ve watched Jackie hurt and pissed at me. I could write a book. Hell, I’m the resident expert on pissing off Jackie. The only person who pisses her off more than me is Hyde. He makes her get all fired up. There is something about the way she fights with him that makes her hotter. A Jackie, full of fire, is a direct line to my lust. I was expecting her to unload on me, but she merely raised her eyebrow at me, and said “Hi”
I’m not unaware of my complete hypocrisy with Jackie. I’ve cheated. I’ve jerked her around. Hell, I just got back from abandoning her, but I still want her like I need to burn someone. Sure there are a million chicks to bang, but none of them are her. Jackie is the sweetest drink on earth and that drink is intoxicating. She gets in your system, and it seems there is no way to get her out. I’ve kissed, banged, had a buffet of other chicks, but I still can’t turn off my obsessive need to call Jackie mine. It took me leaving, but I get it now, nothing will eclipse Jackie. I need her to look at me like I’m the guy who hung the moon. I need Jackie to love me best. As I sit here waiting for the gang to show up, I continue to be haunted by the vacancy in her eyes. I don’t like the feeling in my stomach. I rewind our first meeting again, and see if I can find signs of what is causing my unease.
He rambled down the stairs loudly to the basement. He was excited to be back in their dingy hangout. He had missed it. He had missed his people. He loved Donna, but he was ready to see everyone else, and he really missed Jackie. He knew he was an idiot for bailing, but he wanted to see her desperately. She would forgive him, she always did. Besides that, Donna had told him about the accident, and he was worried about her. The thought of Jackie, hurt, made his blood curl. Even though Donna had told him she was okay, and out of the hospital he still wanted to see her alive and well himself. There she was, laying on the couch, her head resting on the pea green pillow that was always on the couch. Hyde was in his chair, he appeared to be talking quietly to her.
“Hey guys! I’m back!” he had yelled with excitement.
Hyde’s eyes moved to his and a strange smile crossed his face. It was one of welcome and warning. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it caused him to pause for a second. He shook it off. Weird and cryptic was Hyde’s thing, he could be in a mood about anything. He let his eyes fall on Jackie. She looked beautiful, even with purple and green bruises fading on her face.
“Hey Jackie! How are you? I heard you got banged up. I bet you I could make it all better.”
He said it in his cutest and goofy tone. He wanted to see her face light up, or get pissed at him. He wanted to view life in her.
She sat up, glanced at Hyde briefly. Something passed between them, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Her eyes came to his. He wanted to witness their sparkle. He needed to establish himself in her eyes. Instead, she simply raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow and replied
“Hey Michael.”
There should have been a tinge of bitterness, or anger, but there wasn’t. She said it like they had been apart a few days instead of months. It threw him off. She was incredibly calm. Calm Jackie was a rarity, almost like a comet streaking across the sky, most will never witness it. He started to say something when everyone poured into the basement.
He scrambled up to greet Fez, and give Eric a hug. Damn it was awesome to see all his people again. The basement erupted into a chatter of adventures, and questions about California. The room finally calmed to quiet, as they settled into their mindless routine. He was about to start with Jackie again, when she interrupted the silence.
“I have a headache. I think I am going to go home.”
Before he could even offer to be the one to take her home, Hyde popped up and said
“Let me you drive you. I don’t want you by yourself, just in case.”
She smiled at Hyde, a smile he recognized. It was her sweet smile. Not a smile that was for public view often. He had been about to interrupt when he caught Eric giving Hyde a face, and Hyde returning one that wasn’t very happy. He didn’t say it to the room, but Kelso caught it anyway
“Don’t start with me, Eric.”
Then he and Jackie were out of the basement, before he could even push to take her home. He stared at Eric, and said
“What was all that about?”
Eric merely shrugged, “It’s been a weird summer.”
It never occurred to me to think about what happened back at home while I was living it up in California, but something has shifted. I know everyone thinks I’m stupid, but even I can notice an evident coolness between Eric and Hyde. It’s not hard to comprehend when Hyde’s in a snit. I’ve just never seen him be in one with Eric. Me…. a ton of times. Man, I seem to piss him off. I smile at that. It’s hard to break Hyde’s Zen but no one seems to do it like I do. I think back to all the times I’ve been on the receiving end of the Hyde Cold Shoulder
When I took Pam Macy to the Prom, and he had to go with Jackie
When I was cheating on Jackie with Laurie
When I blamed her for my van falling into the lake
When I screwed around with that girl behind the gym
My unease intensifies. Hyde has always been weirdly protective of Jackie, and Jackie always strangely obsessed with him. I’ve never understood why she runs to him like she does when I hurt her. He hates it. He bitches nonstop about it, but he never stops her. In all the years, I’ve been dating Jackie and she has run to Hyde sobbing, he has never once hesitated to comfort her.
A thought flashes into my mind, an idea I’ve been pushing down for years. Is it possible Hyde cares about Jackie? As soon as it comes, I push it away again. No way. Hyde would sooner become a square, and give up his stash, then care about Jackie. She chased after him like a puppy dog in the fall, and he was nasty to her. Still, … there is something nagging me. Almost like a pebble in my shoe. I’m uncomfortable with the idea they might have gotten closer this summer. My inner freak out is interrupted when I hear a soft cry. A cry that almost sounded like Hyde’s name. I could swear I just heard “Steven.” I turn my head sharply, trying to locate the sound. It sounded like it came from Hyde’s room. I still myself, listening for it again, but I am only greeted by silence. I’m freaking myself out with all this thinking of Jackie and Hyde. I need to stop making my head hurt with crazy thoughts. I hear voices up in the kitchen and I decide to head up and see who it is. As I hit the hallway leading from the basement to the kitchen, I hear Eric and Donna say something that stops me in my tracks.
“You know? You know Jackie and him are together?” Eric shrieks.
My breath catches in my throat. Jackie is with someone. I actually feel my knees go weak. It doesn't matter that she dumped me. It doesn’t matter I took off on her. I’ve never had to watch Jackie be with someone else, and I sure as hell don’t want to start now. I take a step closer, so I don’t miss anything. The conversation is getting heated.
“Of course I knew. She told me Eric. Have you ever known Jackie to actually keep a secret?”
“You knew the whole summer? What the hell?” Eric continues
There is a quiet pause, and then Donna responds “No. Not the whole summer. I knew she was with someone, but she would never say. Then about a week before the accident she called me and told me.”
Eric quickly responds “And you're okay with it? It’s totally wrong. How can she do that to him?”
I am assuming Eric is defending me, and I can’t help but feel gratified at my friend’s defense of me, even if I don’t actually deserve it. That feeling floats away quickly, as Donna tells Eric exactly how she feels about it.
“Screw off Eric! Kelso’s a complete ass. Jackie doesn't owe him anything. He sure as hell didn’t think twice about her this summer. He chased after girls all summer, and hooked up with a few of them. She owes him shit. She never has. She’s my friend, and she is really happy. Why would I have a problem with that?”
I can’t take it anymore. Jackie is with someone, I have to know what the hell is going on. I round the corner and I burst out
“Jackie is with someone?”
Their faces go ashen white, and Eric looks panicked. I don’t understand. It causes me to pause but caution has never been my watch word. I ask again
“Jackie is dating? Come on, man, tell me.”
Eric looks like he wants to die on the spot, and looks at Donna for help. She shrugs her shoulders, and says
“What Jackie is doing isn’t your business anymore Kelso.”
I respond quickly, “Awww, Come on Donna. We are all friends. Jackie’s going to bring the guy around. Whose my competition? I need to know who I’m up against.”
Eric looks at me and cryptically says “Kelso, I’m not sure you can get her back. She’s….”
Whatever he says fades out of my universe, because over his shoulder I see Jackie dash into the driveway. Jesus, how is one woman so damn beautiful. She’s wearing one of my favorite dresses. It’s simple dark blue dress with straps. It leaves her shoulders and neck exposed. I’ve always loved how it hugs her hips, and teases at her knee. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her in boots. Boots were made for Jackie, they make her look sexy as hell. Even better she is smiling and laughing. The blankness I was pondering earlier is gone. Those red lips are beckoning in a teasing smile to whatever she is focused on behind her. Then it occurs to me she is calling to someone.
“I won. I told you I would.”
Her voice is sweet with laughter, and her delicate hand reaches out to whoever she is talking to.
My heart pauses at the realization that I’m about to have my question answered. I am certain whoever Jackie is seeing is about to appear. I swallow, who could possibly light her up that way. Nothing could have prepared me for what sauntered into my line of sight. My mouth drops open, and I whisper
“What the Fuck?”
Eric and Donna whip around to my world ending. There is Hyde grabbing Jackie’s hand without thought. I watch him whirl her to him, and her soft giggle floats through the open sliding glass door.
I vaguely hear Eric say “Shit” but all sound fades away as I watch Hyde raise his hands and take Jackie’s face in his hands. My stomach revolts as I’m hypnotized by the sight of him leaning down and gently touch his lips to hers. My vision goes gray, as I watch her arms snake around him, with ease and zero doubt. Almost like it is something she has been doing her whole life. I witness my oldest friend pull the girl I love close to him without hesitation. Worst of all, I can see her whole body melt into his.
My Jackie. My Jackie with My Hyde. They are together, they are Jackie and Hyde. As quick as clarity comes, anger whips everything else out.
I yell “He’s Dead” and I storm towards the screen door.
Hyde
I hear Kelso come into the basement. I instantly clench with rage, uncertainty, and fear.
The reality of Kelso being home is pushing my already over the top anxiety about Jackie to the limit. Between Jackie still healing and now dumbass being home, I want to punch something or someone. I would like it to be him. He’s such an idiot. I wanted to kick his ass the minute he waltzed in the door for the first time since he bailed. Kelso is like a fucking freight train, loud and simply barrels into a room. Jackie had winced, her sensitive head hurt by his loudness. How he could not know that Jackie never lays down on the couch unless she doesn't feel well? I don’t know why I’m shocked. He’s always been oblivious to her. He may have been her boyfriend, but I would bet the house I’m more fluent in Jackie than he is. In these short months I’ve mastered the language that is her. I hear him moving around out there, but I’m more interested in my Dollface laying in my arms. We came to lay down after she said she was tired. I insisted she rest. Of course, she fought me, but it made me happy to see her fight. It means…. She’s doing better.
I’ve been in a state of constant upheaval since Jackie’s accident. She ended up being in the hospital for a week due to her response to her concussion. I hated seeing her in so much pain. Watching a woman I’m used to burning the world with her energy laying so still and quiet caused enormous panic inside of me. I kept asking Mrs. Forman if maybe the doctors were wrong, and she was hurt more seriously. Finally, even Mrs. Foman became irritated with me.
“Steven! She’s been in a major accident. Her body just needs to recover. Jackie needs quiet and she needs calm. You need to shut down your worry, or she is going to make herself sick worrying about you.”
After that I had shut it down as much as I could in front of Jackie. I came every day to the hospital and read to her quietly. Jackie loves to be read to, she says my voice soothes her. I sat for hours unfolding fictional worlds for her, I know she would never pick. I can’t help but smirk. I had a captive audience why not expose her to more than Nancy Drew and romances. More times than not, after a while she would drift away, and I would spend my time watching her sleep. I don’t know what to do with what she makes me feel, but I promised myself and her, even if it was a sleeping form of her that I was hers. What is mine is guarded, and I wasn’t leaving her unprotected. I guarded her as much as I could, until it was time for her to go. Getting her back home, made me feel like she was safe. It allowed me to believe that nothing would ever happen to her again. I clutch her hand accidently at the idea that she could ever be hurt, and I startle her awake.
“Steven?” She says groggily.
My heart starts to race. Kelso is only outside my room, and he has no idea that I have tasted the sweetest substance on earth, and have no intention of ever letting him near that nectar again.
I take my finger, and gently place it on her soft lips.
“Kelso’s out there, Doll Face. I assume you don’t want him to find out this way.”
Even in the dark, I can see something change in her eyes. I want to believe her gaze says she doesn't care how he finds out or if it will hurt him, because I want him dead in her heart. I never wanted this with Jackie. I didn’t sign up for her to be the very air I breathe. I sure as hell didn’t start this adventure with the intention of loving her, but I do, and now I want her to love only me.
She kisses my finger softly, and follows it up with a teasing nip. It is a straight shot to my dick. We haven’t been together since before the accident and while I don’t want to rush or hurt her…. I miss this woman’s body. I crave pushing myself deeply inside of her. I am absolutely thirsty for her taste, and to say I’m desperate for my fix is an understatement.
I growl at her, “Jackie, don’t start what you can’t finish.”
Her eyes go wicked, and this time her tongue lightly teases my finger that still hasn’t left her rose petal soft lips. I pull her roughly to me, and whisper “Knock it off Doll.”
She says with the sweetest whisper “I don’t want to. I want you.”
I bury myself in her neck, and try to picture every disgusting thing on earth. She’s still too fragile for this. I won’t hurt her.
“No, Jackie. You are still recovering. I don’t want to hurt you.”
If possible, her body melts closer to mine, and I feel her heart pick up. Her fingers find my curls, and she starts to stroke my neck. This woman is a tease. She knows that turns me on. I am getting frustrated with her, and I pull her back roughly.
“Stop it. I mean it.”
Her fucking temptress mouth falls to my ear, and she soothes “Then don’t hurt me. Take me slowly, be as careful as you think you need to be, but Steven I miss you. Please be with me.”
I shutter my eyes. I want it so badly. I’m still hesitating to take the high being freely offered. Then, like all the best drugs in the world, she ups the stakes. She burns down whatever defenses the recovery addict has, by returning her mouth to my hear and whispering
“I love you Steven. Love me please. Love me the only way you can.”
As soon as I hear I love you, I jump off the wagon of resistance. Because here is my secret…. I have a new addiction, one that eclipses her body. One that causes her touch, taste, and siren song to be pale in the brightest sun. Her “I love you” is my new drug, and it drives me to a madness I can’t explain.
I’m lost and I began to sate my hunger. I know Kelso’s out there, and I simply don’t care. The whole fucking world could be out there and I wouldn’t give a damn.
My mouth starts to caress all the smudges of purple and blue still on her face. I want her to know they don’t matter. I want her to know she is still the most beautiful woman on earth. I stroke her cheek, and swiftly pull her up. Those gypsy eyes are huge, but she doesn’t say a word. I pull her dress off her, and of course she has no bra on. Whoever told Jackie she didn’t need a bra is my hero, because I never tire of stripping her to find her breasts alive waiting for me. It’s the first time I’ve seen her naked since the accident. I observe a nasty string of painful punches of green on her skin from what the seatbelt holding her in place. Proof of saving her life.
“I know they are ugly. I’m sorry.” she says shamefully, breaking eye contact.
I will have none of this. I grasp her face so she looks at me.
“Those marks are beautiful. It means you are alive. It means you are still here. They are the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Her eyes go big, and start to tear. I kiss her sweetly, telling her no tears.
To prove my point I let my mouth heal the hurt skin. She lets out a quiet moan.
I try not to laugh. Jackie is a loud lover, and the more turned on she is, the more noise she makes.
I quickly capture her mouth, and say “Unless you want Kelso to know I’m in here banging you, I suggest you be quiet.”
All the tenderness in her eyes flee, and she asks, “Is that what you are doing? Banging me?”
The tone of hurt seeps into my brain. I close my eyes against it. I don’t deserve her, I’m too crass and trashy for her. I’m not a man of words, but I can show her. I flip my little light on and take my clothes off quickly.
“Jackie. Don’t take your eyes off of me. I mean it the whole time. Just you and me.”
She merely nods. I slide my hands down her exquisite body softly, with no heat or rush, only reverence. Her desire is obvious, but I want to feel it. I dip my hand into her softness. Her eyes nearly shut, but she keeps them open. I can see her biting her lips in quiet desperation to not cry out. I reach out and adore her face again with my hand, and she immediately curves her face into my palm.
“Doll, are you ready?”
Her answer is to part her legs, and love me with her eyes. I push into her softer than I have ever before, and I can barely keep myself from groaning. I level my weight, and move in her tenderly, never letting my eyes leave hers. Every stroke is I love you. Every kiss on her lips is I need you. My hands touching her like she is precious is my way of saying she is. She is a treasure that should only be adored… adored by me. I’ve missed this. Being with her this way, and knowing her in a way no one else can. We’ve never been like this. So gentle. So sweet. It makes me feel like I am exposing myself to her, but I will be damned that she thinks I’m just banging her. Even if it was my careless words that caused her to think it. Her climax is coming fast, and it takes me with her.
She pulls me to her instantly and begins to cry into my shoulder. I freak.
“Jackie? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No. I don’t have words for what that was. I love you Steven.”
I sweep her wild curls out of her face, and say to her only the truth.
“I’ve never banged you, Jackie. You are special. You mean something to me.”
I kiss her softly one more time. I should tell her what is in my heart. I should tell her that she is everything, but I can’t. Not Yet. So I steer us back to safer ground.
“We have to get dressed and meet everyone. I heard Kelso leave. We can go around the front of the house, and arrive that way so no one will suspect you were down here this whole time.”
We quickly dress, and I pull her to me for a kiss. It turns heated quickly.
“You’re going to be the death of me Doll.” I moan into her mouth.
She gives me an infectious smile, and slips out of my arms. Leaving me confused, until she looks at me with her eyes sly and says
“I bet I can get up the driveway before you.”
She bolts out of the room with more energy then I’ve seen in forever, and I forget she is hurt. I forget we are only a staircase away from exposing our secrets. I can’t help but chase after her. She’s only seconds in front of me, and I know I could beat her, but seeing her like this is more important than winning. I slow my steps, and watch her run ahead of me, and tease me with the pleasure of what we just did together stamped across her face. Complete arrogance fills me. She needed me. That’s all she needed to feel better…. Me. Me loving her, and the sun has risen again in her face. She makes it to the driveway first, and turns to me. Her eyes light with winning, and loving me. She giggles out,
“I won. I told you I would.”
She reaches out to me. For someone reason, I stop. The simple gesture of extending her hand to me in the middle of the driveway not caring who might see causes my blood to spike. Jackie really doesn't care. She wants me. Outloud. In front of the world. In the open, right where our world starts with everyone we love most.
I move out of my stutter step, reach for her hand, pull her to me, and show her that I don’t give a damn who sees us either. I cup her face, and kiss her softly. She pulls me close, and falls into the kiss. This is it. No more untested promises of I don’t care what our friends think . We are standing in the wide open telling the world we are together.
This is mostly like going to be a journey to hell and back, but if it’s paved with Jackie, then to hell I’ll go.