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Graduation.
It had taken a lot of hard work to get here. A lot of help from Tsumugi and Itaru, whose hardcore tutoring sessions had helped Juza pass all of his final tests. As he sat waiting for his name to be called, he glanced down to his lap and at his hands fisted in his pants.
A year ago, he never could have imagined being here. To have grades that were good enough to graduate. To have people in his life who cared enough to help him get there. To be living out his dreams of standing on stage, of finally becoming someone other than the person he’d been forced to become.
Sometimes he was Meyer Lansky; a guy who would do just about anything for a buck. A guy who loved his younger brother more than anything else, and was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake. A guy who started without a friend in the world, who ended up with the best partner you could ask for.
Other times he was Jon; a man with nothing to his name except the loyalty he lived by for his employer, Dom. An assassin who would carry out any order without question, without hesitation, who kidnapped and killed for the sake of Dom’s ambitions, and the fate of their dying world.
Most recently he’d been Ken Tatsuta; a yakuza heir who had little confidence in himself with the sudden death of his father, and had to step up to lead the family. A man whose weakness nearly cost him everything, who learned what true strength was from Ginji and by the end, had grown to understand what true strength was.
Today, however, he was merely himself. Juza Hyodo. A guy who everyone avoided when they could because of his naturally scary face. A guy who was bad at talking to others, so he was often misunderstood. A guy who became the undefeated king of delinquents simply for getting good at defending himself when others picked fights with him.
However, the Juza Hyodo of now had things his past self didn't dare dream of. Despite everything, he’d had friends at school. Eating lunch with Taichi and Tenma had been so different than eating alone every day. It had been nice, even if he rarely had much to contribute to their conversations. It was nice just... being there with them. Even though he would no longer be going to school with them, he still had Tsuzuru and Omi to look forward to eating with in college. He’d never really had senpai at school before, either, and he wondered what that would be like or how that would change his relationship with them.
Juza Hyodo was no longer alone. Not just at school, but living in the dorms had really changed things in his everyday life as well. He and Muku tested out new cakes from different cafes once a week. Taichi sometimes invited him out to karaoke with Citron, Tenma, and whoever else was tagging along at the time. Omi invited him out for motorcycle rides sometimes, which helped him gain confidence in his biking skills as well as knowing his way around the area better. Sometimes he worked out with Tasuku and the rest of the workout crew, going on jogs or lifting weights to make sure he was keeping in shape for whatever action scenes their next play would throw at them. Hell, just eating meals with a whole table full of people who weren’t afraid of him every day made him happy.
Before Juza could get too lost in his thoughts the rest of his row was standing up, so he quickly bolted to his feet as he followed the line toward the stage, his heart pounding. He was a little nervous; he didn’t really get stage fright, but that was because he always stood on stage as someone else. Being here, as Juza Hyodo, accepting his diploma from a teacher who was having trouble meeting his gaze, was nerve wracking. Thankfully, once the diploma was in his hand and he’d nearly gotten whiplash from how far down he bowed and how quickly he came back up, he made his way off stage and back to his seat.
Juza swallowed hard, hand tightening around the case that housed his diploma. It was real. High school was over and thanks to Tsumugi once again, he could look forward to college now, too. A place he’d never really seen himself going. He’d really only realized it might be possible because of...someone else who’d had the same idea. Past Juza could never have expected someone like that to drop into his life, either.
Banri Settsu.
Settsu was annoying as hell. All he ever did was pick fights with Juza over stupid shit, and complain about the things he did as his roommate (Settsu’s sleep talking had to be just as bad as his snoring. It wasn’t just him, thank you very much). Sometimes he would eat the last pudding in the fridge even when Juza had marked it with his name just to piss him off. Other times he would pick on his acting during rehearsal, even though he wasn’t the only one who was having trouble with line delivery.
If that was all, it would be so easy for Juza to just write Settsu off as an asshole who loved pissing him off and nothing more. But there was more to it than that. His acting pushed Juza to better his own. Settsu’s passion for acting was growing stronger by the day, but there was no way his would ever surpass Juza’s. And though he would never admit it to anyone, let alone the guy himself, Juza knew that he wouldn’t have come as far as he had if it weren’t for Settsu snapping at his heels and getting him to step up his game. He was... grateful. Ugh. Settsu wouldn’t find out even if he died. He’d never shut up about it.
Suddenly everyone was standing again as the ceremony wound to a close, and it wasn’t long before they were free to go. It was a weird feeling, thinking he’d likely never set foot in this school again. It was a little bittersweet; it was the first school he hadn’t felt completely alone attending, even if Tenma and Taichi were in the grade below him. He supposed he’d get to see it one more time when it was their turn to graduate. How much more would his life have changed by then?
Juza greeted his mother and Kumon with a small smile as Kumon latched onto him instantly.
“You were so cool up there!” Kumon cried, sniffling as he buried his face into Juza’s shoulder. “I knew you could do it!” Juza wrapped his free arm around Kumon, giving him a thankful squeeze.
“I’m so proud of you,” his mother said, coming to hug him from the other side. Juza clutched his diploma tightly in his hand as he wrapped his other arm around her, holding onto her more gently than his brother.
“‘S thanks to Tsumugi-san and Itaru-san,” Juza murmured. “Never woulda made it without them.”
“They may have helped you study, but you’re the one who worked hard and applied yourself,” his mother reminded him, pulling back just a little to smile up at Juza. “And you’re the one who decided to go to college; not them. It’s okay to take some of the credit, you know.” He couldn’t even take all of the credit for that decision, either. He hadn’t even realized college for theater could be an option for his future without--
“Thanks.” It was hard to quell those thoughts, but Juza didn’t want to bring down the mood of the moment so he kept them to himself. It really had been a while since he’d seen his mom and Kumon though; he should go home to visit more often.
“Congratulations, Juza!” a familiar voice called from behind, and Juza’s mother stepped back enough to let him turn around to see Tsuzuru, Taichi, and Tenma approaching. He had almost forgotten they were planning to attend, and he gave them a wave with his diploma as Kumon continued to cling to his side.
“Thanks.”
“Just you wait! That’ll be me and Tenny up there next year!” Taichi exclaimed, nodding rapidly.
“Hopefully,” Tenma muttered as he scratched the back of his head. The three of them did have notoriously low grades and had shared in many tutoring sessions together.
“If I could do it, I know ya can too,” Juza said, and Tenma looked surprised for a moment before smiling.
“Tsumugi-san’s a real miracle worker, huh?” Taichi agreed, “I’ve never gotten such a high score on my finals before!” Neither had Juza. Tenma, too, if the way he was nodding solemnly was any indication.
“We should probably head back soon,” Tsuzuru was checking his phone, “The party’s gonna start once all of the graduates make it home, and it sounds like Sakuya and Banri’s group are going to be on their way soon. I got the photos that Omi-san wanted, so we should be good to go whenever you’re ready.”
“Would you be willing to take a couple of pictures for me before you go?” Juza’s mother asked, holding out her small camera toward Tsuzuru, “I’d like to get a few of the family, if I could.” Tsuzuru smiled, hanging his camera around his neck as he took hers in hand.
“Of course. Let’s get you three together then,” Tsuzuru said, Tenma and Taichi backing out of the shot as Juza’s mother found her place by Juza’s side, Kumon still hanging onto him. “I’ll take a few shots!”
Juza stiffened a little; he wasn’t exactly the most photogenic guy around (as Settsu loved to remind him every time he’d been featured on a play poster or showed up on one of Kazunari’s Instablam posts), and smiling naturally didn’t come easy to him. Rather than mess up the photo with a cheesy forced smile he kept his face neutral as his mother smiled and Kumon gave a big grin. Tsuzuru gave them the countdown, and Juza could hear the clicking of the camera as he snapped a few shots. Kumon’s arm as well as his mother’s gave him a big squeeze, and he couldn’t help the small smile that the motion brought him. He heard the camera click again and he sheepishly looked down afterward.
“These look pretty good, I think!” Tsuzuru said, tapping through the photos on the camera’s tiny digital display.
“Wait, I wanna take pictures with Juza-san too!” Taichi called, dragging Tenma back over with him. “This is the last time we’ll all be here together until next year, y’know!” It was still a little odd to think that, but he was right.
“Let’s do it,” Juza agreed, carefully extracting himself from Kumon’s iron grip to line up with them.
“I’ll take some for both of us so you’ll have to hold still for a minute,” Tsuzuru called, lifting the camera again as the three of them slung their arms around each others’ shoulders. Juza had to slouch down for Taichi to reach.
Once Tsuzuru had finished up with Juza's mother's camera and passed it back, Taichi threw up a peace sign with his free hand to get ready for the next batch of photos. Seeing this had Tenma doing the same. Juza, glancing between them as Tsuzuru got his camera ready, threw up one with each hand he still had slung around their shoulders. He couldn't hold back another tiny smile as he heard the shutter click a few times; he really had never imagined things could change this much in the course of a year.
"We're good! Let's head back!" Tsuzuru called, checking the photos before shutting the camera off and getting it ready for travel. Juza turned back to Kumon and his mom, giving them one more hug before it was time to leave.
"You should come home next weekend," Kumon said, tugging on his sleeve. "You haven't been back much since New Year's, and I have some new pitches I've been working on that I wanna show you!"
"'Kay. I was just thinkin' I should visit soon, and I'd love to see 'em." He gave Kumon's head a pat, the tingle of happiness spreading from Juza’s palm to his chest as Kumon beamed brightly at him, sunlight reflected in his golden eyes.
"I have a few things for your party," his mother added, bending down to grab a few paper bags she'd had sitting near her purse to hand to him. Juza took a peek inside one of the bags, mouth watering almost instantly as he spotted boxes of cookies of a variety of flavors. Frosted sugar cookies, chocolate chunk, peanut butter, and snickerdoodles. He checked the other bag and took a deep breath as he spotted containers filled to the brim with homemade macarons. “There’s a cake, too, of course.”
As she bent down for the box Juza wondered if he’d have to share the cake with anyone. There were great desserts, and then there were his mother’s cakes. In a tier almost all their own. Juza shifted one of the paper bags to his other arm, carefully cradling the two bags together as he took the cake box and held it protectively near his side.
“Everyone’s gonna love these,” Juza hummed. His mother smiled, giving him one more pat on the back as Juza leaned down and she pressed a soft kiss to the crown of his head.
“We’ll see you next weekend. I really am proud of you,” she smiled. Juza couldn’t hold her gaze as warmth radiated in his chest. He’d really been able to make her proud . There was little else that could hold a candle to how nice that felt. It wasn’t that she’d never said that before, but this is one of the first times he’s ever truly felt like he’d earned it. “I love you, Juza.”
“I love you too, big bro!” Kumon crowed from his side, and Juza was certain he’d be ensnared in another hug if his arms weren’t full.
“Love you guys too,” Juza said with a smile. “I’ll see ya soon.” He gave a quick bow as his hands were full and he couldn’t wave, and he made his way back to the others with sweets in tow.
“Oh! Lemme take some of that for you!” Taichi called, taking one of the paper bags from him.
“Thanks.” Taichi glanced over at Tenma, the other scoffing as he held out his hands.
“Fine, I’ll take one too. Happy?” That seemed to satisfy Taichi as Juza handed over the other bag, delicately holding onto the cake with both hands now. With everything situated and Tsuzuru hurrying them along, it wasn’t long at all before they made it back to the dorms.
After depositing the desserts in the kitchen for Omi to arrange with the veritable feast he’d prepared for the party, Juza made his way back to his room to change out of his uniform and into something more comfortable. Unfortunately, the Hanasaki group must have gotten back recently as well as when he opened the door Settsu was lounging around, only half dressed as Juza came in. He’d been tapping away at something on his phone, looking up once the door clicked shut.
“Jeez, you guys sure took your sweetass time,” Settsu called, setting his phone on his desk before pushing out of his chair and onto his feet. “Get lost on the way home or somethin’?”
“Fuck off,” Juza grumbled. He’d barely set foot in the room and already Settsu was being annoying. Whatever. He’d just have to make sure he didn’t get any cake. That’d show him. “Talked to my mom and Kumon, okay?”
“Guess I talked to my sister a little. And yet we still beat you back,” Settsu shrugged, stepping closer until he was right in front of Juza. He met Juza’s eyes for a moment before his gaze drifted down to his chest. Juza glanced down as well, but he couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.
“Why does it matter? Must not’ve been too long ago ‘cause you’re not even dressed yet,” Juza pointed out. Banri rolled his eyes, and Juza moved a hand up to catch Settsu’s fist as he made a quick movement towards his chest. “Really, Settsu? We really gonna do this today?”
“Shut up,” Settsu laughed, using his captured hand to pull Juza’s out of the way as he swiped his other toward him. Juza braced himself for impact, but a punch never came. Settsu’s fingers instead gripped one of the buttons on his uniform, and he pulled back with all the strength he could muster. “I’ll be takin’ this, though..!” Juza dropped his fist in surprise, and before he could move to grab Settsu’s other hand he used his newly freed one to double his efforts, and with the quiet sound of threads snapping the button popped off and Settsu’s backward momentum landed his ass on the floor.
“What the hell’d ya do that for, asshole?” Juza hissed, glancing down at his uniform. Frayed string poked out of the button hole, and it didn’t look great. “Give it back; I’ll have to get Yuki to fix it.” Settsu’s expression faltered for a moment, seemingly searching Juza’s face for something. He must not have found what he was looking for, because he briefly scowled before schooling his usual smirk back into place.
“It’s mine now,” Settsu hummed, jamming the button into his pocket as he hopped back up to his feet. “Just gonna have to get a new one if you wanna fix it that bad.” And with that, Settsu grabbed his shirt that had been hanging off the back of his chair and slipped it on. Juza watched him incredulously for a moment before sighing, moving to his dresser to begin changing. It really wasn’t worth getting into it with him right now over it. Juza had cookies and a cake with his name on them. Settsu definitely wasn’t getting any now.
Juza left his school uniform hanging off of his bunk, to remind him to get it fixed before putting it away for good. Sure, he’d never need to wear it again, but his mom probably wanted it to be intact when he brought it back home and he sure as hell didn’t want to have to explain what had happened to it.
He’d asked Yuki about it and he’d helped Juza order a new button to match the others on the uniform, but it would take almost the whole week until he received the new one. Juza wasn’t really sure what Settsu had done with the old button, but every time he asked for it back he’d been refused so he’d had no other choice.
A few days later, Settsu was going to be out for a couple of hours shopping with Tenma so Juza invited Muku over for tea and some of the leftover macarons he’d been saving from the party. Normally they had these meetups in Muku’s room, but Kazunari was working on something and neither of them wanted to disturb him too much. It was just as he was setting out the cups for the tea he’d finished preparing that there was a knock on the door, and he nearly knocked one over as he got up to let Muku in.
“Thanks again for hosting, Juchan,” Muku greeted, taking his seat at the table as Juza carefully poured the tea. He splashed it just a little, cursing in his head as Muku helped wipe up the spill.
“‘S no problem. Settsu’s gonna be out for a while, anyway,” Juza said, sitting down once everything was cleaned up and pulled his own cup toward him.
“Still, it’s not often we hang out in here,” Muku laughed, gently plucking a macaron from the box and taking a bite. His eyes brightened instantly as he made a small sound of appreciation. “Mmmm...Auntie’s sweets are always so good…”
“Kinda miss eatin’ ‘em as often as I used to,” Juza agreed, grabbing one for himself and popping the whole thing in his mouth. Even after a couple of days they were still nearly as good as they were the day they’d gotten them. “Especially when they’re fresh.”
“You’re going to see her in a few days, right? Can you tell her thank you from me? I know everyone else loved them too! I’m surprised there were any left!”
Juza looked away a little guiltily at that.
“Well…..Mighta snuck some back to my room before things got too crazy,” he mumbled.
“I’m sure they’d understand,” Muku smiled, “After all it’s not every day you--” and suddenly Muku froze, eyes widening to an almost comical degree as he stared at something just behind Juza’s shoulder.
Juza turned around to follow his gaze, and it looked like he’d spotted his uniform, still hanging from the bed. As he turned back Muku’s gaze was now directed at him, eyes twinkling and mouth hanging open in surprise.
“ Juchan!!! You never told me you gave your button away!!” he cried, glancing from the uniform back to Juza again. Juza’s brow furrowed in confusion, glancing back at the uniform again.
“I mean, I didn’t exactly give it away,” Juza sighed, turning back to Muku. “I’m gettin’ it fixed before I head home anyway.”
“W-What do you mean? You didn’t offer it to your true love on graduation day!?” Muku asked, looking stunned before he turned back and gazed fondly at the uniform. Juza squinted in confusion, trying to make sense of what was going on here. True love? Giving his button away?
“What’re ya on about? Is there somethin’ special about that button?” Juza asked, unsure. Was there something that he didn’t know about? Something that Settsu did? Muku quickly turned back to Juza, looking just as exasperated as he was excited.
“You didn’t know!? The second button of a gakuran is one of the greatest romantic tropes you can use in a school setting!” Muku gasped, reaching for Juza’s hand and clasping it between his own. “Sometimes a girl might ask for it, but a boy will give his second button to the one he likes the most! You could almost consider it a love confession!”
Juza felt like he’d been punched in the face. Love confession? Did Settsu know that? The guy was a lot more trope savvy than Juza was so he must have. Did he know Juza didn’t know? Was Settsu trying to say he liked him? Is that why he wouldn’t give it back? But he hadn’t really acted any different since he’d taken it than he had before. Was he just fucking with him? What the hell?
“How come it’s gotta be the second button?” Juza blurted, the gears in his mind turning slowly, ineffectively. Muku sighed dreamily as he gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Because the second button is the one that’s closest to your heart!”
Juza nearly choked, but he kept himself together. Well, as much as he could after this shocking revelation. What the hell did it all mean? Settsu had just been smirking as usual as he’d yanked it off him. Then again, there had been that weird expression he’d had for a moment afterward. Was he taunting him? Did he like him? Why couldn’t he just say something to his face like a normal person?
“You were saying you didn’t give it to anyone though?” Muku continued, slowly withdrawing his hands back to his side of the table. He’d deflated a little now, realizing perhaps nothing truly romantic had happened. “Did it get caught on something?”
“N-Nah, just,” Juza hesitated. Did he really want to tell anyone what happened? Muku knew more about this than him though, and maybe he had some idea of what it all meant. “When we were changin’ before the party, Settsu ripped it off.” And all of Muku’s enthusiasm came rushing back, and then some.
“ Banri-san!? Oh, Juchan, I can’t believe it! He really waited to confess until graduation? That was so romantic!” Muku cooed, and Juza put his face in his hands. That wasn’t what had happened, but the mental image of what Muku must be imagining right about now was a little too much for Juza to handle.
“He didn’t say sh- He didn’t say anythin’ at all,” Juza grumbled into his palms. “Jus’ snatched it after complainin’ about how long we took to get back, and then kept actin’ like he always does.”
“Really? I wonder if he decided not to say anything since you didn’t react to the button,” Muku wondered, “Maybe he took your reaction as a rejection, or he had second thoughts about it when you didn’t realize what it meant?”
“Maybe? But Muku, there’s no way Settsu’d feel that way. About me.” Juza sighed, lowering his head to the table. “Right? He’s probably just messin’ with me.” He wasn’t even sure he felt that way about Settsu. Then again, it wasn’t like he’d ever had a crush before. And having close friends was still something new for him, too. What was the line between friendship and romantic interest like? Were he and Settsu even friends? It seemed hard to label just what their relationship had transformed into over the last year. Was that the line?
Juza felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he turned his head until he saw Muku looking at him with a soft smile. “I think he’s liked you for a while, Juchan.”
“‘S news to me,” Juza murmured, mind whirring again as he tried to piece that thought together with what he thought he knew Settsu to be.
“He’s always acted differently with you than everyone else.”
“Because he hated me.” Hate was a little strong, but it definitely hadn’t been anywhere close to like back then. You wouldn’t go around following and trying to punch someone you liked most of the time. “Maybe not so much anymore, but c’mon.”
“Would he still spend so much time bothering you if he didn’t like you at least a little bit? I can give you at least a dozen shoujo protagonists who act like he does,” Muku insisted, nodding to himself. “Maybe he just doesn’t know any other way to get your attention?”
“He could just try talkin’ to me like everyone else,” Juza sighed, sitting up and staring down at his cup of tea. “Guess it couldn’t hurt to ask ‘im about the button thing but I think he’s just messin’ with me, Muku.” He didn’t want to get his cousin’s hopes up. He didn’t want to get his own hopes up, either. Besides, it wasn’t like he wanted Settsu to feel that way about him. Right?
“How do you feel about Banri-san?” And of course, Muku knew just what he didn’t really want to discuss. “Maybe he likes you, maybe he doesn’t. But what about you?”
“Me? I…” Juza didn’t know. As much of a pain in the ass as Settsu was, as annoying as his taunting and arguments had been when they’d first met, Juza was used to them now. He even liked needling Settsu back; there was far less bite behind their words than there used to be, and bickering with Settsu was fun. A back and forth that didn’t involve bloodshed was something he didn’t know he could have.
And maybe, despite his dumb haircut, Settsu was kind of pretty. His stupid eyes that twinkled like polished sapphires under the bright glow of the stage lights. The silver glint of his piercings whenever he tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Most of all though was the way that sometimes, very rarely, the smirk that always made Juza want to punch Settsu in the face melted into something a little more genuine. A soft crinkle at the corners of his eyes, the sharp edge of his expression softening into a proper smile. Just that look could fill Juza with a warmth he didn’t know how to explain.
And then there was Settsu’s portrait.
Everyone else’s had been about something they’d been struggling with for some time. Sakyo had regretted spending so much of his life giving up on his dream, of hiding from the stage. Omi had many regrets surrounding his friend who had passed away. Taichi’s had been about how much he regretted the things he’d done under God Troupe’s orders to try and ruin the show and the company. And what about Settsu? He’d talked about how dull and empty his life had been, sure. But the bulk of his portrait...had really been about Juza.
How he’d challenged Juza to a fight just to feel something, and how he’d lost for the first time in his entire life. He’d looked Juza dead in the eye when he’d said that day and night, all he could think about was how much he wanted to challenge Juza again. About how frustrated and desperate he was becoming every time Juza refused to engage with him. About how Settsu had followed Juza into the Mankai theater on that fateful day.
How Settsu’s determined gaze had bored straight into Juza when he proclaimed his regret. Settsu had made sure he’d never forget it. The words were etched into his mind forever.
“My life’s biggest regret is living life in ignorance, thinking that things were stupid and boring. Boring? Nothing to get me worked up? To hell with that! There IS something that gives me thrills! That excites me! Right here!”
Sure, Settsu had probably just been proclaiming his newfound passion for theater. Nothing more. But their eyes had met as Banri proclaimed the thing that excites him was right here . It could have been a coincidence. But maybe that was really when things had begun to change. He was pretty sure Settsu had been trying to tell him something that night as they laid awake in their room together too, thinking about their closing show, but Juza had fallen asleep while they’d been talking and Settsu had never brought whatever he’d said up again so he hadn’t thought much about it.
“...Maybe.” That was the best answer Juza could give Muku. He was starting to fear the answer may be yes, but there was no use fretting about it until he confronted Settsu. If Settsu didn’t feel the same, there was no point in dwelling on it. No reason to shove a wedge into whatever their relationship currently was.
“I hope you get the answer you want,” Muku said, giving his arm a gentle pat. The answer he wanted...hopefully he would know by then.
Muku gracefully changed the topic after that, and they caught each other up with how their families were doing, and Muku was in the middle of telling him something funny that had happened in practice the other day when the door cracked open and Settsu entered, giving them a quick greeting as he dragged bags filled with the spoils from his shopping trip over to his dresser.
Muku shared a quick look with Juza when Settsu’s back was turned to them. He nodded encouragingly, Juza shook his head, eyes widening in slight panic as Muku stood from the table.
“I almost forgot that I needed to lend a couple volumes of manga to Sakyo-san for our next meeting. I better do it now before I forget again,” Muku chimed in, looking down at Juza and giving him another smile. “Thanks for having me over, I’ll see you tomorrow Juchan!”
“Later,” Juza choked out, and Muku gave him an encouraging fist pump before he closed the door after making his exit.
Great.
Juza downed the remnants of his tea in one gulp, trying to psyche himself up for...whatever conversation he was about to have. He glanced over at Settsu, who was in the process of putting away some new clothes.
“What do ya need so many clothes for? Don’t you have enough already?” Not exactly how Juza planned to start, but poking and prodding at Settsu was something he was comfortable with. Not the uncomfortable questions he’d have to ask. He shouldn’t have told Muku he would.
“Nothing wrong with havin’ options,” Settsu shot back, tucking a shirt into his dresser and glancing at Juza over his shoulder with a roll of his eyes. “Sorry, I forgot you barely own enough shirts to last you a week.” Juza’s brow furrowed, frown deepening.
“S’not like I need a bunch of ‘em. I’m fine with what I got.”
“You could use ‘em more than I could,” Settsu shrugged, “Seriously, don’t you ever get tired of wearin’ the same shit over and over?”
“No. They’re comfortable. I got other things I wanna save up for anyway. Not gonna waste a buncha money on clothes,” Juza grumbled back.
“Ah, right. How could I forget? You’d probably die if you don’t stuff your ugly mug with enough sugar that’d send most people into shock on a daily basis,” Settsu laughed, closing his dresser and turning to face Juza fully. Juza’s brow furrowed even deeper.
“Fuck off, Settsu. What I spend my money on ’s none’ve your business.”
“Same here! At least my clothes don’t disappear in the three minutes it takes you to wolf down an eclair!”
Ugh, this was getting them nowhere. Juza was just getting annoyed and he was really just putting off what he wanted to say. Maybe he should just bite the bullet.
“Did ya confess to me a few days ago?”
Settsu’s brain seemed to miss what he’d said.
“Hah! That’s what I th- What!? ” There it went. Settsu sputtered, quickly turning back around to busy himself with his bags. Probably to hide his face. Juza was a little grateful, because he couldn’t be sure what kind of expression he was making either. “Warn a guy, holy shit! Where’d that come from? And why the hell do you think I’d confess to you? ”
“Muku told me about the...button thing.” Juza still didn’t fully get it, but it was what it was. If that got a reaction out of Settsu, Juza couldn’t tell. “Somethin’ about gakurans and hearts and confessions.”
“‘Course he did.” Settsu sighed. He unfolded and folded another shirt, tearing open his drawer again to shove it inside. “Fuck. I wasn’t prepared for this shit today.”
“And you were on graduation day? What, did ya have some big speech planned? And ya couldn’t even say it? Chickened out?” Settsu had stopped fiddling with a pair of pants he’d pulled out and crumpled them up and threw them back into the bag with the force of a man who’d wanted that to be a punch.
“Shut up, you stupid daikon!” Settsu shouted back, hands balled into fists at his sides. “Didn’t chicken out, just. Figured you’d say something first if I took your fuckin’ button. But of course, you were too stupid to know about that.”
“You...didn’t want to be the first to say somethin’?” Of course. Settsu’s stupid pride wouldn’t have allowed that, would it?
“Why the hell would I?”
“Forgot you’re allergic to actually talkin’ about shit for once.”
“Shut it, asshole.”
An awkward silence settled over the room, and Juza wasn’t sure where to go from here. Should he keep pushing? Or would Settsu try to shut him out even more?
“So?” Juza nearly missed that Settsu was speaking again, deep in thought. He waited for more, but Settsu was quiet as he continued to keep his back turned to Juza.
“So...what?” Juza stared at the back of Settsu’s head, willing him to just come out and say what was on his mind for once.
“Your answer, dipshit.” His answer? To what? Was he still trying to get Juza to say something first? No way was he gonna let that fly.
“Gotta ask me a question first if ya want an answer, foxface.” And, just to egg him on even further, “And if you’ve got somethin’ to say, say it to my face.” It worked, because only a second later Settsu had spun on his heel to face Juza again with a glare. That was more like the usual Settsu. He stomped across the room until he was in front of Juza, sitting down in a huff.
“Fine,” Settsu hissed, grabbing Juza’s collar and pulling him close. Juza hadn’t meant face to face quite so literally, but here they were. The proximity spiked Juza’s heart rate, and he was unsure whether he wanted to shove Settsu’s face away or…
“Yes or no?”
Even now, glaring daggers into Juza’s eyes, his breath ghosting across his face, he still couldn’t be straightforward.
“To what, idiot? That’s barely a question.” Juza wasn’t going to play this game with him. The fist in his shirt tightened.
“Fuck’s sake, are you that dense? Still can’t believe you actually managed to graduate, with your smarts.”
Juza bit back a comment, trying to calm himself down.
“Not my fault ya can’t just say what needs to be said.” Settsu’s face inched impossibly closer, and Juza’s next words died in his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut.
“No more stupidass questions. If you hate this or whatever, just push me or punch me.” Before Juza’s brain was able to process that there were lips on his, warm yet hesitant. Not at all what he expected a kiss from a braggart like Settsu would be like. Not that he’d imagined what kissing this asshole would be like.
Wait, Settsu still hadn’t actually said anything. Dammit. Juza shoved him back, opening his eyes to see the nervous look on his roommate’s face. Juza must have been scowling, because Settsu gave him a glare of his own once he’d recovered from his initial surprise.
“I got you loud and clear. Just pretend that never happened, then.” Oh, no. He wasn’t going to get off that easy. Settsu started to pull away but Juza grabbed the front of his shirt in retaliation.
“How many times do I gotta tell you I can’t answer unless you actually say something,” Juza grumbled, keeping his grip strong when Settsu tried to jerk out of his grasp.
“Fuck off. I’ve got nothin’ to tell you.”
Juza pulled him a little closer, and Settsu’s eyes met his again with a defiant glint. Why did he have to make everything like pulling teeth?
“Unless you just go around kissin’ whoever, that ain’t true.”
“What if I do? You’re probably the shittiest kisser I’ve ever had,” Settsu laughed in his face. “Figured I could get you to react a little, but you are just a stiff daikon after all.”
“If you’ve really got nothin’ to say, just give me my stupid button back then.”
Settsu’s laughter died out pretty quick after that, and he clammed up again.
“‘S what I thought.”
Banri grit his teeth, fisting both of his hands in Juza’s shirt as he pulled him forward hard enough to headbutt him. It hurt, but Juza pushed right back and didn’t relinquish his hold at all.
“What do you want me to say? Huh? That I’m some shoujo protagonist and I’m madly in love with you? That you’re always on my mind? That I could never see myself with anybody else? ‘Cause I’m not, and I don't. Real life ain’t like a manga.” Juza was stunned. Even if they were hypothetical he never, not in a million years, expected Settsu to say something like that about himself. Juza was starting to sweat a little, and he could feel the warmth crawling across his cheeks.
“So I kinda like you. So what? Don’t read too much into it, dumbass. There’s not much else to say. Were you expecting some big grandiose confession?” Settsu snorted. Juza frowned, feeling a little like he was being made fun of. Leave it to Settsu to do that in the middle of attempting to admit his feelings.
“If that’s all, how come it was so hard for you to say?” Juza replied, still trying to process the fact that Banri Settsu liked him and he’d actually gotten him to admit it out loud. Admit it as much as Settsu was probably capable of, anyway.
“Well, I…” Settsu made a vague gesture with one of his hands. That didn’t really explain anything. Juza probably wasn’t going to be able to shake anything else out of him. He didn’t know if he could handle more right now, still wrapping his mind around this new information.
It was quiet again for a few moments before Settsu looked at him again.
“You’re the one who’s gotta say somethin’ now.” Oh. He was right. At least hearing part of Settsu’s feelings had helped Juza to parse his own a bit. They were more clear now than they had been when he’d talked with Muku, at any rate.
“I like you,” Juza said without preamble. Settsu made a choking sound as his face turned red faster than Juza had ever seen it.
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. Wasn’t that hard,” Juza shrugged. “Dunno why ya had to make such a big deal out’ve it.
“If that’s how you feel, how come you pushed me away like that?” Settsu continued, incredulous. Juza sighed and rolled his eyes.
“‘Cause I wanted to hear it from you first, idiot. Didn’t think that was so much to ask.” It really hadn’t been, in Juza’s opinion.
“Shut up,” Settsu growled, pulling him close again. “Better actually do somethin’ this time, or I’m taking it back.”
“Won’t let you,” Juza muttered back, closing the gap himself this time. Settsu hesitated at his initiative but quickly recovered, clutching Juza’s shirt tightly in his hand as he pressed back fervently.
Now it was Juza’s turn to fumble; sure, he was enthusiastic about it, but he’d never really kissed anyone before. It was all he could do to try and keep up with the pace Settsu set, stumbling through trying to move his lips in time with his roommate. He quickly had to break it off for a gasp of air, but Settsu chased him back and kissed him again before he’d been able to catch his breath. Juza snorted, tilting his head to try and sneak a few breaths with his nose.
Juza tangled a hand in Settsu’s hair, marvelling a little at how silky it was between his fingers and how soft it was. His heart jumped in his chest as Settsu moaned quietly into the kiss as Juza tugged a bit. Did he like that? Juza gently rubbed his fingers along Settsu’s scalp, surprised when he could feel him leaning into his touch. Juza’s heart was nearly beating out of his chest; he wasn’t sure if it was because of Settsu’s reactions, or if he was still faint of breath.
Juza pulled back again when his lungs felt close to bursting, and this time Settsu let him go as they both breathed in the quiet air between them.
“Jesus, was that your first time kissing or something? That was terrible,” Settsu laughed, breathless, and Juza was once again torn between punching him for the insult and pulling him back in to shut him up.
“Shut up,” Juza grumbled, looking away as the tips of his ears blazed in embarrassment. “Must not’ve been too bad if you came back for more.”
“You’re gonna need a hell of a lot of practice to get any better,” Settsu continued, turning so they were now sitting side by side so he could sling an arm over his shoulder and pull him in. “Good thing I’m willin’ to help you out of the goodness of my heart.” Juza rolled his eyes. Was it really so hard for Settsu to just say ‘ I liked it, let’s do it again ’?
“How generous,” Juza sighed, allowing himself to lean against Settsu’s shoulder. “Not like you were that great yourself.”
“What was that?”
“I wasn’t the one moanin’, either. Think that was y-” Settsu shoved him away and Juza barely managed to catch himself before he hit the floor.
“Fuck off, Hyodo! Nobody asked you!” Settsu turned away from him, but the back of his neck was bright red and Juza felt satisfied enough with that. He leaned forward to snatch a macaroon out of the box that was still on the table, finishing it off in just a few bites.
“So where do we go from here?” Juza found himself asking.
“What do you mean?” Settsu mumbled, still pouting with his back facing Juza.
“Are we datin’ now or what?” Settsu whipped around to face him and slap a hand over his mouth, grimacing at him through the flush that was covering his face now.
“You really don’t got a subtle bone in your body, do you!?” Settsu cried. Juza furrowed his brow, huffing a breath against Settsu’s hand. Settsu sighed, shooting him one more glare as he lowered his hand into his lap. “I mean, I guess. If you want.” This was getting old, and fast.
“I do.” Juza said simply, watching as Settsu turned to him with wide eyes. “But I wanna know if you do. Can’t just expect me to say everythin’. I don’t wanna be with somebody who’s not gonna be serious about it."
“Of course I’d be serious about it, you stupid daikon! I wouldn’t just-” Settsu caught whatever he’d been about to say, letting out another weary sigh instead. “I do, too. There.” his voice had cracked a little, and despite his annoyance at the whole situation Juza found it sort of endearing.
“See? Wasn’t that hard to just say, was it?” Juza chuckled, a corner of his mouth tugging up in a small smile. He could tell Settsu was about to fire off an insult in response but it seemed to die in his throat as he stared at Juza’s face. Juza quickly frowned in embarrassment, turning to face the table again. He didn’t have to look so surprised about a dumb smile. Jeez.
“So now you’re feelin’ self-conscious?” Settsu laughed, leaning so his head fell against Juza’s shoulder. The contact was a little much for Juza, and his side burned in all of the places their bodies pressed together.
“Shut up,” Juza muttered back, no real bite behind his words. For once, Settsu complied. They sat together in the quiet room, simply basking in each others’ presence, and it was actually kind of nice.
Juza could never have predicted this turn of events when he’d woken up this morning. The future changed more and more every day, it seemed. He’d never expected he’d make it into college, but he would be starting at Yosei University before too long. He’d certainly never thought he would date anyone, let alone Banri Settsu, but here he was. He was snapped from his thoughts when he felt something touch his hand; he looked down at his lap, and Settsu had set his hand on top of Juza’s. Warmth blossomed in his chest, and he turned his palm over so he could hold Settsu’s hand properly. Settsu squeezed it back, and Juza was sure he’d made the right decision. He didn’t know the future could look so bright.
He’d have to tell Muku about it tomorrow.